Cosmos Quest (Naruto/Lupin III)

[Guile]

I have the biggest smile right now.

Kakashi and Ino's answer to the Sunset Crashing-Wave Manliness Hug genjutsu of Gai's.

 

[FurikoMaru]

I had to. Had to.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

I had to. Had to.

Click to shrink...

You do realize there is NO WAY Asuma is ever going to be able to compare to this, right?

 

[FurikoMaru]

Oh, that sounds like a wager to me!

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

You know what? IT IS NOW.

If you can make Asuma more awesome than this.....okay, you'll still have given Asuma far more chances to shine than Kakashi and I'll still mourn, but I will be impressed.

Maybe it's the engrained SHINY reflex in me, but at this point I might have traded Ami for Kakashi if it meant Ino and Kakashi became such a trolltastic team. And there's just no getting past the fact that Asuma is still The Nice Guy. Kakashi and Ino would be assholes about it, and sometimes the assholes are more entertaining.

 

[FurikoMaru]

OS'! If I can't make Asuma just as awesome as Kakashi, I will write twenty oneshot fanfics, each for a different series, and each for less-than-awesome characters in order to showcase their awesome qualities! This I swear, on my honour as a Spiral Knight.

So... you guys got votes for the last actual update, or...?

 

[HighMongrel]

Rough count gives

[X] Taijutsu 1
[X] Genjutsu 1
[X] Ninjutsu 0
[X] Tessenjutsu 1
[X] Yamanaka Mind Stuff. 7

and hung around with (pick two)

[X] Ami 7
[X] Kiba and Akamaru 8
[X] Menka 2
[X] Sasuke 1
[X] Shikamaru
[X] Chouji
[X] Hinata 2

Request a C-rank in your second month?

[X] Yes 2
[X] No 8
-[X] Also, keep pulling the Tora mission. 6

 

[R.A.G.]

[X] Now that dad trusts that we're not gonna go all SB up ins again, let's get to the mind-raping powers already! Ami making fun of us for being a fainting maiden is also required.

[X] Kiba
[X] Ami

As for C-rank... honestly?
[X] No.
Just to screw with Ami and Kiba - and Asuma, because even the ex-monk is probably bored out of his skull supervising this stuff. Wide-eyed look: "But guys! Think of all the fence-painting and grocery errands we'd be missing out on! The Will of Fire demands that we babysit until our collective hatred of D-ranks forges us into an unparalleled team!"
-[X] Also, keep pulling the Tora mission.

 

[Scia]

Sayhow hard would it be to create a soundtrack ninjutsu? As it most likely won`t work as a genjutsu?

 

[Vindictus]

I actually had an idea for a genjutsu that pulls music out of the brain of the person it's cast on, once.

IDK how that would translate to an AOE Genjutsu though...

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

I actually had an idea for a genjutsu that pulls music out of the brain of the person it's cast on, once.

IDK how that would translate to an AOE Genjutsu though...

Click to shrink...

Actually, a genjutsu that puts a song in a person's brain sounds delightfully prank worthy. Someone steps into a room playing music. Genjutsu cast. Suddenly the song is stuck in their head and they never think it's a genjutsu.

 

[hunter09]

Can we add Subliminal Messages to the Song Genjutsu?

 

[Torgamous]

"Worship Satan"?

 

[Guile]

Actually, a genjutsu that puts a song in a person's brain sounds delightfully prank worthy. Someone steps into a room playing music. Genjutsu cast. Suddenly the song is stuck in their head and they never think it's a genjutsu.

Click to shrink...

Great idea Orochim- I mean, Hymn.

Observe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqWwsUhrFBw

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

Great idea Orochim- I mean, Hymn.

Observe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqWwsUhrFBw

Click to shrink...

You know we could actually do something like that if we were feeling sadistic. Eventually. Itachi embedded a geas/genjutsu in us. We've got mind powers.

Who's to say we can't do a bit of Inception and embed a song of some sort in a person's head? So it always, ALWAYS comes back. Extra head screwing, have the song stop and go away for, say, 24 hours, when they use Kai.

But every time Kai is used, the time the song goes away is cut in half. An day reprieve becomes 12 hours which becomes 6 hours which becomes 3 hours which becomes....

You get the idea.

I am a horrible person and if impure thoughts are a damnable offense my ticket is prepaid.

 

[Zasnul]

I had to. Had to.

Click to shrink...

You did what you must.

 

[FurikoMaru]

[X] A pervert, a tsundere and a freaky dog guy walk out of a movie theatre...

"Your mind is a weird-ass place," Kiba says, shivering, as he helps you to your feet.

You frown. "Huh. The technique isn't supposed to let you see any of my thoughts."

"It doesn't," Ami says, shaking her head. "There's some kind of wall of... commercials in the way."

"Commercials?" you ask, eyebrow raised.

She shrugs. "That's the best way I know to describe it. But yeah, flashing lights, loud noises, jingles... of course, knowing you, that could just be what your normal thought processes look like."

"I was talkin' more about the killing-intent, actually," Kiba says. "How the hell does that work when you aren't in your own head to generate it?"

Ami looks somewhat taken-aback. "What are you talking about?"

"You didn't feel that?" Kiba asks, boggling. "From the moment I got in 'til the moment I left it was like someone was breathing down my neck."

"I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about, Inuzuka-kun," Ami says, sincerely confused. "Ino? You know what he's talking about?"

You shake your head. "If it's there, I'm not doin' it consciously." You wonder what's up with that; could your mental defences have subtly upgraded themselves somehow?

=

Now that you're an active-duty ninja, Menka insists on accompanying you everywhere, riding on your shoulder the way Akamaru does Kiba's head. Ami jokes that she should try to get a bird-summoning contract to 'complete the set'.

Menka doesn't get to do much, since his full capabilities are a secret, but it's nice to have him along. Asuma-sensei in particular seems relieved to have someone resembling 'backup' in the adult department. The two like to talk shop about kenjutsu from time to time; most of it goes over your head, but Ami hangs on their every word, so you assume sensei-chan knows his stuff.

The five of you (six, with Asuma, but he's more of a supervisor than a teammate on these D-ranks) do a lot of babysitting over the next few weeks, but it isn't as fun as you anticipated, mainly because Ami is boring and doesn't understand the true potential of glitter and superglue. Any time you want to do any crafts or play any games, she always kills the fun right out of the cradle unless you manage to keep under her radar.

You suppose she's better'n Kiba, at least; he's always been the youngest in his family and has no idea how to wipe sticky faces, or even just talk to kids. Luckily, his awkward refusal to get directly involved gives him a tough-guy cachet among the boys you look after, so any time you need to get Eichiro or whoever to eat his damn peas, all it takes is Kiba having some to make them stop whining.

You try to request the Tora mission whenever possible, but apparently the Hokage considers cat-chasing to be character-building for less speedy genin, so you only get to take it about once a month. It's better than nothing, though; always nice to see Tora, or, as is increasingly common lately, Miun.

=

"That was the worst movie I've ever seen!" Kiba pokes Ami in the shoulder. "You said there were going to be sword fights!"

"Those were swordfights," she says for the millionth time. "That's what swordfights are like with non-ninja. Not everything is about looking flashy."

You snicker. "Says the girl who periodically sets her sword on fire."

"Asuma-sensei says fire chakra enhances the defensive power of the blade!" she counters. "It's completely practical."

"And that stupid romance," Kiba continues, "what was with that? What, she's got all those family techniques or whatever they were and enough reserves to defeat half an army with 'em, but she has to get rescued by the wimpy daimyo's son?"

"He wasn't that wimpy by the end," you point out.

"He had like one sword lesson! How did he beat up that guy when she couldn't?"

You shrug. "Does it matter? He pulled the resolve up from within to save his lady. It's admirable."

"Exactly!" Ami nods.

"But he wasn't even the main character!" Kiba says. "Yarihime was! Why shouldn't she get to defeat the bad guy?"

"No girl is ever going to like you if you expect her to do all the fighting for you," Ami declares haughtily.

"No sane guy is gonna like you if you expect him to do your fighting for you," he grumbles. "Is this really the kind of stuff civilian chicks like?"

Ami cuffs him in the side of the head, and Akamaru scrambles to maintain his perch. "I'm not a civilian, you mutt!"

"I think I get Kiba's point, maybe," you say reasonably. "It's better when both lovers can save each other, is that what you mean?"

"Um, I guess," Kiba says, looking vaguely uncomfortable.

"But you don't fall in love with people based on how strong they are," you point out. "You love them for who they are, not how great they are at taijutsu or whatever. It seems kind of cruel to expect someone you love to put themself in harm's way if you think you can solve the problem yourself."

Kiba frowns. "By that logic Yarihime should have been the one to defeat the villain. I mean, if she loves the drip, why's it so important that he save her when by all rights she should have expected him to get pummelled?"

"He's her prince," Ami says, as though this is the most obvious thing in the world. And, when you're Ami, it probably is. "A prince is the princess' reward for all her hard work throughout the story."

"... you know slavery is illegal, right, Kuwabara?"

"It's not like that," you say, laughing despite yourself. "You could just as easily say the princess is the prince's reward for being brave and cool."

"Ino, you too?" Kiba says incredulously. "You guys have some seriously creepy ideas about romance, you know that?"

"Oh~?" You smirk. "You must know a lot about it, to say that with such certainty. Why don't you teach us some more about it, hm? Correct faults in our romantic training~?"

Kiba goes stock-still. "I-Ino?" he squeaks.

"Ne, Kiba-sensei~ oshie- oof!"

You once asked why Ami prefers to hit Kiba in the head when she's mad at him, but generally goes for your midsection on those occasions when you leave an opening. She replied that while he probably can't get any stupider, she's not certain you can't get crazier.

=

Three months have gone by. Sasuke's team left about two weeks ago for their first C-rank. Do you want to take one of your own? Asuma has pissed off Kurenai and wants to get the hell out of town for a while thinks you guys're ready.

[X] Yes
[X] No

If no, what do you want to train for the next little while?

[X] Taijutsu
[X] Ninjutsu
-> [X] Further refinement of Mind Body Switch Technique
-> [X] Tobideru Shiryoku no Jutsu, the Art of Projected Sight. Lets you piggyback on someone else's vision. Limited range, especially compared to your sensing, but sometimes it's nice to actually witness stuff properly.
-> [X] Take it away, Oro-pyon, just remember you're better off keeping things simple for now.
[X] Work on connecting your memory palaces into a dream complex.
[X] Genjutsu
[X] Tessenjutsu

----------

Kiba would like to state categorically that he is not a freaky dog guy.

 

[Aranfan]

[X] Yes

 

[Pipeman]

[X] Yes

Gotta love Asuma's irresponsibility.

 

[Jiven]

[X] Yes

Kiba, you are a man after my own heart.

 

[Malcolmo]

[X] Yes

Kiba, you are a man after my own hearth.

Click to shrink...

I think you mean heart unless you mean he resembles your fireplace.

 

[Torgamous]

[X] Yes

Kiba's been unusually lucky up to this point, if he thinks that constitutes a shitty romance. He obviously hasn't been exposed to the Romeo and Juliet/Les Miserables brand of idiocy.

Kiba would like to state categorically that he is not a freaky dog guy.

Click to shrink...

We know he's freaky and that he likes dogs, so there's only one variable there that he can plausibly deny.

 

[mc2rpg]

[X] Yes

 

[Scia]

[X] Yes

 

[hunter09]

[X] Yes

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

Tch. We really need to get around to connecting our mental rooms too.

 

[Tetsurō]

[X] Yes

 

[Selias]

[X] Yes

 

[Vindictus]

[X] NO. We can't let our precious sensei abandon his responsibilities, can we~?
->[X] Magnificent Dream Palace is a GO~~!

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

[X] NO. We can't let our precious sensei abandon his responsibilities, can we~?
->[X] Magnificent Dream Palace is a GO~~!

You know what? Seeing Asuma deal with Kurenai oughta be educational. Maybe we can bum Genjutsu tips off of Kurenai while she torments Asuma.

If I didn't want to work on that palace I'd totally make a write-in where Ino sells Asuma up the river does her absolute best to reunite prince and princess.