When people talk about the afterlife, they never mention the part where you get thrown into your...
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User | Total |
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Aegonthebeardless | 22 |
Just realized the order of the thread marks is all fucked up. Amazing. I'll fix it….
eventually
Please do. I was already trying to compute the children when I saw chap 15 coming after ch 1 and fell into the 5th-dimensional maze that your threadmarks form.
I'd suggest something underlining that Orys is different when presenting him. Yes " fourth of dad and mom" was a clue but that's your introduction chapter and I'm sadly used to authors who find numbers above 3 challenging. perhaps simply fusing "He has black hair and black eyes" into his introduction? "Orys, black-haired and black-eyed, was the eldest of us all being three years older than Visenya"
also, the enter key is not a fragile maiden, hit that bitch! Because walls of text are a pain.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Hey did you post this story on sufficient velocity or spacebattles yet? Otherwise it is a nice story but the SI is too much a gremlin to me. Does he ever get more mature as he ages or is he going to continue fuck the consequences forever?