Slycerr
Getting out there.
- Joined
- Mar 22, 2021
- Messages
- 21
- Likes received
- 174
Thanks for the advice!You should also add the "worm" tag. Just "worm". Males it easier for people to find this story.
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Thanks for the advice!You should also add the "worm" tag. Just "worm". Males it easier for people to find this story.
I don't notice anything at first glance, but I'll check more indepth later.I don't know if it's because Im on mobile but some sentences have a weird gap in between them
Thank you!TFTC and Happy Birthday.
If you were only trying to portray Matt as a socially awkward, (post?) highschool teen, who is trying to navigating relationships in his social circle (and nothing more), then you did okay.
Thank you!
Thanks!
Yeah, I don't know why it does that, I tried fixing, and it helped a bit, but I'll try something else.You have some line breaks in odd places. It's not terrible, but it's also pretty clearly not intentional.
I feel like the MC would benefit from having... a plan? Goals? Like, right now he seems to be runnign entirely on 'I'm gonna cultivate, because cultivating is awesome, and eventually I guess I'll do stuff with it once I get good enough." "What stuff?" "Just, you know, stuff."
On the other hand, it looks like he's starting to get a bit of a push in that direction now, so....
No, I mean... he hasn't really even committed to hero/villain/rogue yet. He hasn't decided if he wants to join any particular groups. He apparently knows at least some stuff about Worm canon, but it's only just now occurring to him that he might be able to mess with it. He's certainly not putting in any effort to connect with anyone in particular. He hasn't considered what his likely threats are or put any specific effort into preparing for them other than keeping his head down. He's done none of that.As for the mc not having any goals or plans, there isn't a lot of things he COULD plan, even less without plans.