Harbinger - Dresden Files

[Zeelthor]

I'm very much enjoying this, I'd often wondered what a more competent and skilled Harry would do in the earlier books and this story is really scratching that itch for me. Thank you for writing it.

The "did I just do that" moment in the last chapter where he took down the entire group is definitely the highlight of the story so far for me.

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I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun to write and it was definitely a kind of key moment.

 

[Secret Secretion]

Was it on purpose that Harry knew and used Denton's name before he gave it?

as I drew a sleuthing arc

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...sluicing? it's still a weird choice of words

She cast me a look I took to me 'No shit, dumbass' and turned to the woman in the midst of the group of kids.

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took to mean

We'd both seen one another's soul's once upon a time.

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souls

I knew better by now to confirm or deny the existence of ghouls.

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than to confirm

"The Lobo killings… and I heard Internal Investigations is putting the screw to Murphy.

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screws

"There's a gang called the The Street Wolves. Down by…"

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I think this is one word. Streetwolves.

"It's called the Full moon garage."

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Moon

I lingered at the door of the Fool Moon garage for a while,

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Full

with my fist gauntleted kinetic force I smashed it straight into his nose. Bone crunched and blood spurted.

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gauntleted in
Why is he getting the Winter Knight fighting instincts? Unless his soul got sent back, he shouldn't have that yet?

lycantrophes

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lycanthropes

Ebenezar

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Ebenezer

Loupgarou

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the way it's spelled in the series is loup-garou, no capitalization. If you want to fix this, you're going to need to find-and-replace Loup Garou and Loupgarou, you've used both a lot so far.

The old lights around the restaurant began to flicker and dim. The table trembled, sloshing some of our drinks onto the wood, and the fans above wheezed in protest. I blinked, shook myself, and grounded the power I'd drawn in.

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Harry shouldn't be able to do this, I think. McAnally's pub is specifically built with thirteen everything in disruptive patterns to disperse stuff like this.

Mcanally's

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Mcanally's

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Macanally's

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The spelling is McAnally.

"We can talk about this later," Murphy said. "Marcone is innocent until proven guilty. He pays taxes - except when he doesn't - and he deserves my protection the same as any citizen of Chicago."

I raised an eyebrow. "Are you telling me or yourself?"

Murphy ignored me. "But we can't arrest him."

I shook my head. "Hell's bells, no. The moment the moon came out, he'd turn, and he'd tear every single person in the police station into coleslaw. We need to contain him until the full moon is out, and we'll need a greater circle for that."

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"But we can't arrest Harley."

I shook my head. "Hell's bells, no. The moment the moon came out, he'd turn, and he'd tear every single person in the police station into coleslaw. We need to contain him until the full moon is out, and we'll need a greater circle for that."

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Why didn't he put two and two together?

I fished in my pocket for some chalk in a nervous gesture, and found a note instead. A drawing of a heavy-duty protection circle, with a single strand of hair tucked between the folded paper.

My stomach fell and my blood turned to ice as I realised just why my apprentice had decided she needed to learn to lock up something incredibly powerful.

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Ah, there we go, four.

I drew in power and shaped it into the form of a shield that blocked the door. I had time enough to spend several seconds focusing and preparing, and even so, the Loupgarou nearly shattered my defenses when it slammed into the barrier.

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We just had a bit where a smaller, less powerful wolf slamming into his shield burned his hand. Is Harry really powerful enough to do this?

It gave a new meaning to "here comes the fuzz."

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'here comes the fuzz.'

 

[Zeelthor]

Was it on purpose that Harry knew and used Denton's name before he gave it? '

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Yes. As for Dresden's instincts as the Winter Knight, those did help him in such fights for sure. That being said, he fought a lot of stuff in canon and even before taking on the mantle he'd gotten better at hand to hand. This story is meant to have gone into the apocalyptic trilogy or so before he got sent back, to assume he's learned even more of that stuff.

Thanks for all the help! I'll look into the spelling and the continuity errors before posting the last chapter. Still struggling with it.

 

[Secret Secretion]

Yes. As for Dresden's instincts as the Winter Knight, those did help him in such fights for sure. That being said, he fought a lot of stuff in canon and even before taking on the mantle he'd gotten better at hand to hand. This story is meant to have gone into the apocalyptic trilogy or so before he got sent back, to assume he's learned even more of that stuff.

Thanks for all the help! I'll look into the spelling and the continuity errors before posting the last chapter. Still struggling with it.

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Fair enough! I'm wrong about Ebenezar, btw, you're correct. I don't know why Butcher chose to spell it with an 'a', but he did.