So, decided to give this a try. This isn't my first time writing, but it is my first attempt at...
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Well, those are all very good questions. Firstly, thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I appreciate it.Too confusing, where is the build? current jump? who is the mc, what special rules are you using for jumpchain.
I couldn't bring myself to care at all about this guy, I know nothing about him, he is a battle-scarred soldier who flies planes. That's it. Why should I care about him? Is he going to go on a jumpchain? what are his ambitions? desires?
The problem with that is your jumper does not look like someone with 46 jumps under his belt. There is simply no way for someone with 100s of perks from 46 jumps to end up in MCs miserable condition. Not to mention 460 years of experience and wisdom.Well, those are all very good questions. Firstly, thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I appreciate it.
There isn't a main character as such, though the Jumper is the POV character, Jack Mitchell. That's not his real name, like everything else about him it's been replaced as the jumps proceeded. Infact, the current Jump and the number proceeding are in the title (JUMP 46 (ACE COMBAT)).
And I'm sorry that you couldn't bring yourself to care about him, but in my defence this is only the first chapter, there's only so much I can be expected to do as far as that. While perhaps not obvious, the idea was to start in the middle and work my way up to that, to an extent - with the prologue (the above chapter) working as a taste of what's to come. That's also why I didn't post the build - that, and I didn't want to post forty six jumps worth on the first page - I figured I'd post them as they came.
As for what have I changed from the 'conventional Jumpchain Experience (if such a thing exists)… well, you'll have to wait and see.
The problem with that is your jumper does not look like someone with 46 jumps under his belt. There is simply no way for someone with 100s of perks from 46 jumps to end up in MCs miserable condition. Not to mention 460 years of experience and wisdom.
If he can't relate to humans why is he helping them and risking his own life and his chain while doing so? If he is a shell of a human being where is his alien, ruthless mindset? But really you would never get were mc was with even just the body mod because of the resolve augment. If you did the generic first jump you would have the therapy couch which would fix you right up.Well, let me assure you, this is forty six jumps in, and over the course of that he's had considerably more that 460 years of experience (not so much wisdom), and that's what got him into this mess - his experiences have turned him into a shell of a human being unable to relate to his own companions anymore, much less other people. Yes there are perks to fix that, however he hasn't acquired them yet (and by the time he does, his outlook will be so alien that really that's the least of it).
If it bothers you that the jumps I've chosen haven't left him able to be endangered by something so pedestrian as a shooting war in a setting designed around crazy experimental weapons, then I'm sorry you feel that way, but it suited the narrative better and so that's what I went with as far as design. The intention here was never to create an all powerful character, and so he reflects that. As a character, he owes more to 'Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever' than Silver-Age Superman. There's nothing wrong with writing about Superman (Silver-Age or otherwise), it's just not what I'm going with.
If he can't relate to humans why is he helping them and risking his own life and his chain while doing so? If he is a shell of a human being where is his alien, ruthless mindset? But really you would never get were mc was with even just the body mod because of the resolve augment. If you did the generic first jump you would have the therapy couch which would fix you right up.
Mc could have easily dropped by a jump which did provide a mental self healing power, it would have been trivial, cost what 10 years? 200-100cp? So what mc went though 46 jumps, never bothering to pick up a mental buff even though he could see his own mind become mush?
Jumpers are not mundane, brain dead characters, there are too many ways to fix that even for a jumper with just 5 jumps under his belt much less 46. You don't even need a cp backed item/perk, there are many many hyper-efficient therapist type software in tons of jump worlds.
If your jumpers goal was to kill the other side why is he wasting time flying a metal box which shoots pellets? Why hasn't he simply snapped his fingers and disintegrated them all? If your jumpers does not have any loyalty to either side of the war why is he helping them and destroying his own mind in the process, more so why is he helping whatever side he wants in such a useless manner when he probably has millions of better ways to win the war in days, hour, hell maybe even seconds.
If he cant pick his own jumps did you force low power, useless jumps on him such that 46 jumps all were so useless that mc couldn't even get some power, protection and mental help? So many mental fortitude and willpower perks exist that you would have to go out of your way to avoid them.
Even if you had no cp backed items from the 46 worlds, you went to them, you had the chance to copy their tech, their magics, their unique elements, better yourself. In short even with no perks, with access to 46 different fictional worlds, you could have acquired close to planet busing level easily.
Now maybe you have mc under some kind of permanent power loss and amnesia drawbacks which is why he ended up here but in that case please let the readers know now because reading a mc with powerless is not fun.
Now don't let this discourage you from writing more, I am simply trying to figure out mcs motivations and how he could have possibly ended up in this position because I see no way it could have happened. So even we disagree on some aspects I still look forward to more chapters.
So he cant even pick his own builds?That's one preconception you want to move away from. The MC has absolutely no control where he ends up - none whatsoever. He is a leaf on the wind. That's actually mentioned in the chapter - Jack tells him that 'there must be a reason they're here', and he replies that he doesn't know what to believe. This guy never got a helpful cosmic being who explained things to him, and while he does get perks the process isn't the form you describe - he doesn't get a useful list of options before entering into a jump either. If I may make a tired Star Wars reference, there are no Midiclorians in his experience.
A family tendency towards depression would get fixed instantly as soon as he got a altform or bodymod. Its impossible for all your altforms to have inbuilt depression from their genes. Plus unless you are constantly picking drop in you will get years of memories and personalities of people who are not depressed merged with you. Every 10 years you get to see how amazing life is, how a healthy person thinks like as such its trivial for you to see that and get yourself fixed up.Well, that's a good question. Obviously you feel it can't be the trauma, so you're looking for e a bigger and better answer. Human nature, perhaps? A reflection of my own tendency to be a miserable self-defeatist blown up in proportion, in the way that so often such things are reflected? Disassociation with himself and his existence? An existential cry for help in an overwhelmingly complicated universe in which he cannot fit himself into? A family tendency towards depression?
Mate, I don't know what mental fortitude perks you have been looking at but most of them are a flat increase to your mental resilience and willpower the protection against outside influences are just a bonus. The chain is littered with these perks, you can easily find them, I bet in your 46 jumps there are at least 5 of perks like this.Most mental fortitude perks are for resisting outside influences, actually, and the ones that aren't tend to be very unhelpful - a bit like how all luck perks come with a caveat 'if you rely on this it'll stop working'. This is an internal thing. And he's got an excellent psychologist - Dr Darius Dax, who isn't with him on this jump, but is very good at that.
There is no logic skip, if you had access to 46 fictions worlds of varied sort its inevitable you can easily, trivially enhance your mind to be more resilient even without perks. With perks its almost a guarantee.So what? Feeling the blues, blow up a planet? You seem to have missed a logical step or two along the way there, comrade. And power is a very relative thing - what it is and what it is not power often depends on 'where' you happen to be.
I dont know where you got that idea, its jumpchain canon that you can take non cp backed items into your warehouse/personal really and they keep working like normal. Same with self genetic modification and cybernetics, they don't just stop working once go to a new jump. Your jumper fiat makes them work even under different physics. There are literally drawbacks that make this not work, so it's safe to assume that they work normally. Read the warehouse document, it clearly states that you can collect in jump stuff and that it will work.Incidentally, outside tech only works if it's CP backed. Otherwise the differences in the laws of physics means it either doesn't do anything, or fails spectacularly.
Jumpers are nascent gods, hell they can become literal gods in some jumps. Why do you want to forcefully push them down when you know their potential? You dont need to bestriding the world, you just need to see that its harming you mentally and retreating from that position.Don't worry about that - I'm happy to see you take such an interest. It might help to let go of your preconceptions about bestriding the world as a god a little, but it's all good.
Hardly man, there are many perks which are not obvious in their effect or use. If you don't have the discriptions you might never realise or use some of the perks you have. Thus it's well worth it to grab all the jumpdocs when you have the chance.
Hardly man, there are many perks which are not obvious in their effect or use. If you don't have the discriptions you might never realise or use some of the perks you have. Thus it's well worth it to grab all the jumpdocs when you have the chance.