Kim Possible: So The Legend [Multi X-Over. A Senpaiverse Sidestory]

[The Ero-Sennin]

Welcome back to the Senpaiverse, and back to Kim Possible! Yes, the Senpaiverse has a Kim Possible story and we will be getting back to that. It's just that certain things came up and the Senpaiverse endured a soft-reset that expanded the setting (fixed a lot of holes), and is now going forward with no future recursive writing planned.

I promise. There are knives glinting in the dark keeping me to my word.

This story, So The Legend, is here because I wanted to expand on where things are at in Wonders: A Story of Miracles, and more specifically Kim Possible's relationship with the goings -on in Legends: A Story of Lies (especially with the as of this writing Volume 7 coming up). It's also here because I wanted to write some silly crossovers involving my favorite super-spy team and things I like, so here we are.

So anyway, here we go, the life and times of Kim Possible, Ron Stoppable, and Rufus the Naked Mole Rat in the Halcyon Days of the Senpaiverse, before things got... weird. Expect an eclectic mix of stories, and a lot of Disney TV Animation in this story (especially in Part 1, whoo!) The cleverer of readers are bound to find or note all sorts of references, acknowledgements, and hidden crossovers. Make a game of it, challenge your friends, and above all else... leave a like, a comment, and maybe watch. There's good and goofy things in store.

= - = Part 1-1 = - =​

Disclaimer: The following is a Fan-Written Parody. Kim Possible and everything to follow is property of one of three or four Media Mega Corporations. Support the official release.

***************************************************************************************
-
-WELCOME TO A PLACE THAT DOES NOT EXIST
-A PLACE WHERE THOSE WHO DO GO UNSEEN TREAD
-A PLACE THAT WILL NOT EXIST WHEN YOU LEAVE
-YOU ARE HERE BECAUSE WE NOTICED YOU
-YOU ARE HERE BECAUSE WE ACKNOWLEDGED YOU
-YOU ARE HERE BECAUSE WE ACCEPTED YOU
-YOU ARE HERE
-BECAUSE YOU ARE MEDJED
-
-
-Rules! Only <@Medjed> <Medjed#GarageWizard> and <@Medjed#BrainNoise> may ping.
You ping? You b&! Don't dox yourself, or others, we will find you. No links to pr0n or
warez, and no ERP for the LAST FUCKING TIME. If I come in here and see that
shit again I WILL BURN THIS MOTHER TO THE GROUND. Links outside OGREclient
are clicked at your own risk, don't post them unless you're confident of your security.
They're always watching and waiting, Medjed, and the only X-Factor is if YOU screw
up. If you see something, say something! Your hack is our exploit!
#FreeEmilio #JusticeForWhiteHats
-Topic of the D-A-Y: GarageWizard has taken the L
-
***************************************************************************************
@Medjed#GarageWizard has joined the chat!
<@Medjed#GarageWizard> Finally back online, ffs.
<Medjed#DustInTheWind> WB.
<Medjed#MonitorLizard> Ayyyy GW!
<Medjed#ITG-Kou> He Lives!
<Medjed#ITG-Otsu> Praise the Omnissiah!
<Medjed#12is00> GarageWizard, you ok???
<@Medjed#GarageWizard> This week has been so bad for me, guys.
<@Medjed#GarageWizard> My Business Setup got hacked and whacked at
11:13:02 MST. I spent the whole week rebuilding everything, while the hacker was
impersonating me. Did I log on at all?
<@Medjed#BrainNoise> There were four failed log-in attempts from your client, the
fifth would've scrubbed everything. I assume that was your hacker.
<@Medjed> Who hacked you, GW?
<@Medjed#GarageWizard> I'm ashamed to say.
<@Medjed> You know the rules, GW! You get hit, you run us through the process.
<@Medjed#GarageWizard> Fine... I was hacked by Drakken. He used my P2P connection
to gradually upload a trojan on my machine. Once it was up, it executed and cloned my
storage, then bricked EVERYTHING.
<@Medjed> Oh shit.
<@Medjed#BrainNoise> WHAT.
<Medjed#12is00> OMG
<Medjed#DustInTheWind> Womp Womp
<Medjed#ITG-Kou> LOL
<Medjed#ITG-Otsu> LMAO
<Medjed#MonitorLizard> Yeah, that tracks. Drakken is a loser but when he focuses on
something, he can be scary af.
<@Medjed> What were you downloading that he was able to slip in.
<@Medjed#GarageWizard> ...
<Medjed#ITG-Otsu> It was something embarrassing, huh?
<Medjed#ITG-Kou> You're too young for eroges, dude.
<@Medjed#GarageWizard> It wasn't anything like that, it was... the 2004 cut of the
Big Bad Beetleborgs movie.
<Medjed#MonitorLizard> BRUH.
<Medjed#DustInTheWind> BRUH.
<Medjed#12is00> BRUH.
<@Medjed> THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! MWEHEHE!
<Medjed#ITG-Kou> SMDH
<Medjed#ITG-Outsu> That movie is SO cursed.
<Medjed#MonitorLizard> Jinx owe me a soda.
<Medjed#DustInTheWind> The sixty-nine cents should be in your account now.
<Medjed#MonitorLizard> ... Nice.
Medjed#JungBlood has joined!
<Medjed#JungBlood> Is this the real GarageWizard?
<@Medjed#GarageWizard> Yes, this is the real deal.
<@Medjed> Can confirm, peeking at him through his webcam, mwehehehe. >:3c
<@Medjed#GarageWizard> NOT FUNNY.
<Medjed#JungBlood> What happened?
<Medjed#ITG-Kou> 彼は呪われた映画をダウンロードし、ハッキングされました。
<Medjed#JungBlood> GWに おかしです。どちらの映画ですか？
<Medjed#ITG-Kou> ビッグ・バッド・ビートルボーグ。
<Medjed#JungBlood> ああ。 そうか。 さすが GW です。
<@Medjed#GarageWizard> うるさい！
<@Medjed#BrainNoise> GW. You said Drakken cloned your setup. Did he get ANYTHING
related to the Battle Suit?!?
<@Medjed#GarageWizard> No, that computer is AG, we're safe there.
<@Medjed#BrainNoise> Thank Einstein. I would've had to burn a gold coin to terminate
you if you had given our life's work to that intellectually inferior nematode.
<Medjed#MonitorLizard> Speaking of nematodes, now that you're back up and running,
we could use a hand down here in the DC Area with that idiot Eddie Wuncler and his pal
Gin Rummy.
<@Medjed#GarageWizard> No can do. Team Possible is off the grid for the next week.
<Medjed#DustInTheWind> Wow, Kim Possible actually goes on vacation?
<Medjed#12is00> True, that sounds more like a Stoppable strat.
<@Medjed#GarageWizard> It's not a vacation. The Middleton High Cheer Squad is off
to Cheer Camp, and they won't be back until next Friday.
<Medjed#12is00> There's a Cheer Camp???
<Medjed#ITG-Kou> Oh yeah, Cheer Camp is a thing that National Level Cheerleader
Competitors attend. I didn't think the Mad Dogs were that good, though...
<Medjed#12is00> There's National Level cheerleaders competition??? For like High School?
Do they accept robots??? I SHOULD MAKE A CHEERLEADER ROBOT!
<Medjed#ITG-Outsu> OMG! Can we help?!
<Medjed#ITG-Kou> We managed to get ahold of a chassis from a Bebe unit thanks to GW!
We can 3D-Print a copy and can overnight it to you!
<Medjed#12is00> OMG I LOVE YOU! SEND IT SEND IT SEND IT SEND IT!
<@Medjed> Take it to DMs you two, if you're gonna discuss logistics.
<Medjed#MonitorLizard> Let me know, though, when they're off their break, OK? We really
could use the help out here.
<@Medjed#GarageWizard> Don't worry, I will. In the meantime, I wanted to talk about some
other work I was able to get done while rebuilding my setup... the Battle Suit's alpha build is
almost complete.

Kim Possible: So the Legend
Part 1
"Return to Camp Wannaweep"

|All-Star Camp|​

Driving down a winding forest road, a Town of Middleton school bus made its way towards its destination hidden among the pine trees. Aboard the bus, the Middleton High School Mad Dogs cheerleading squad (and mascot) were on their way to a once an academic lifetime opportunity: they had been invited to attend a National Cheerleaders Association weeklong cheer camp; so that they could hone their skills, show off their moves, and participate in company with the best cheerleaders in the country, and there were few on the Mad Dogs squad more excited among them for this honor than the best of them.

"Hey Kim!"

At the call of her name, Kimberly Ann Possible looked up from the floor of her seat on the bus and at the seat across the aisle from her. "Yeah?"

Sitting across from the green-eyed redhead was another fellow cheerleader, Tara, a bubbly young woman with long, wavy blonde hair. She was sitting close to the edge of the bench seat, looking conspiratorial. "You can tell me, you know."

Kim found the look odd. "Tell you what?"

Leaning closer, Tara spoke in a hushed stage whisper. "You pulled some strings with the NCA, that's how we got invited, huh?"

The very idea appalled her. "What? No! I'd so never do that!"

Jessica, another blonde cheerleader–though she was considerably taller with straight hair and a face dotted with freckles–turned an ear to the conversation. "Are you sure? Because this is, like, a big deal. Colleges, the NFL, and the NBA scout for talent at this camp."

Tara nodded quickly. "It's okay if you got in good with somebody up top to get us here, you get in good with everybody."

Before Kim could protest, Jessica chimed in "Except with Bonnie, of course."

Both blondes turned to look at Bonnie Rockwaller, seated ahead of Kim. The brunette turned and narrowed her eyes back at them, who took it rather in stride with teasing giggles. The look she aimed back at Kim was much harsher, but it was likewise brushed off.

"This one is def not on me," Kim said, "We probably just got picked at random. They do that."

Bonnie sat up in her seat and looked over it, down at Kim. "Or they invited us because they knew a Rockwaller was on the squad and weren't going to pass up an opportunity to bask in greatness."

The bus's driver, the school's substitute teacher and athletic coach, Steve Barkin, glanced up in the large rear-view mirror above his seat. The large, flat-topped man then called out. "You ladies should check your egos with your luggage; this isn't just any ordinary cheer camp like your jaunt to Camp Wannaweep." The mention of that name prompted a yelp of fear next to Kim, and she looked down at the well of her seat as Coach Barkin continued. "Like Tara just said, the best cheerleaders and mascots in the country will be here including the national champions."

Liz, an orange-haired girl with a purple headband to hold it in place, let out a gasp. "That's right, the Piedmont Highlanders Squad… led by the Shooting Star herself…"

Bonnie let out a snort. "The Highlanders are not that good; they've got a strong base who has no regard for human life, that's it."

Kim leaned from her seat. "Jealous, much?"

"Jealous, of a Captain who juggles her cheerleaders like they're bowling pins? Yeah right."

Jessica sighed. "I wish I could toss girls around like she does."

Hope, a dark-haired, olive-skinned girl seated next to Tara up by the window stood up to peer down lecherously at Jessica. "I'm pretty sure all you'd have to do is just go up to any and ask, and they'd love if you did."

Jessica's face turned red as Tara and Hope giggled. "Hope!"

As the girls laughed, Kim leaned down towards the well of the seat. "Come on, Ron, the bants are getting spicy. Don't you want to come up from down there?"

A head adorned with short blonde hair popped up from beneath the seat. Ron Stoppable, his freckled face pale with worry and caked in sweat, looked up at his best friend in the world. "No way, KP, this is my home until Friday. You cannot make me come out from here."

"I don't have to, but Barkin will," Kim warned her friend and teammate.

"Barkin will try!" Ron shouted back.

"And Barkin will succeed," Coach Barkin called from the front.

Ron disappeared back under the seat. "Not if I burrow my way into the cushion…!"

Kim frowned. "You'd better not be poking around down there, my butt's like directly above you."

"I'm still trying to get through the plywood," Ron replied before he gave an urgent order. "Chomp faster, Rufus."

As a squeak of affirmative responded from inside the seat, Kim laid down onto the seat and dipped her head down to look under it. "I thought you conquered all your camp-related fears."

"I thought so, too, but I've been relieving them since I got press-ganged onto this bus and taken from my home!" Ron raised his voice. "You hear that, Barkin?! I do not consent to this! You are committing unlawful imprisonment!"

"And you're becoming so much of a prima donna I'm not sure why you're not getting into fights with Possible, too," Barkin shot back.

"Hey!" Bonnie snapped at Barkin.

"Girl, shut up," Hope said.

"You are the biggest smoke demon we've ever seen," Liz pointed out.

"And we've seen Shego go at it with Kim," Marcella, another darker-skinned girl piped in.

"Phrasing!" Jessica, her face still red, pleaded.

Kim let out an exasperated sigh. "But Ron, Cheer Camp isn't even technically at a camp. It's being held at Middleton Community College."

The scratching and bumping under her seat stopped, and Ron emerged cautiously. "… Really? No toxic lake?"

"No," Kim replied.

"No spooky woods?" He asked as he began to rise.

"No."

He stood up, brightened. "No scary squirrels?!"

Kim grabbed him by his Mad Dog's Jersey. "Ron." She pulled him down, and when he looked at her in confusion, she shook her head and made a cut-it-out motion with her free hand. "Whoa."

Bringing up his hands as she let him go, Ron offered a mea culpa. "Okay! Okay! I guess camp at a college won't be that bad."

"Why would it be?" Tara asked. "You're gonna be like one of only a handful of guys at an otherwise empty college campus with hundreds of pretty–"

"Athletic," Hope added before looking over to Marcella, who struck a pose.

"And flexible girls," she added.

Hope looked down at Jessica. "Right, Jess? All those girls?"

"I will end you," Jessica hissed.

Ron pretended he did NOT think of that benefit and focused wholly on the others. "A cozy 'camp' on a college campus doesn't sound bad at all. I can hit up the computer lab to play games, or the on-campus Bueno Nacho; it'll feel like home!"

He looked ahead, and smiled when he saw the clean, sprawling concrete of Middleton Community College emerge from the forest. "And there it is."

Coach Barkin could barely conceal his smile as he drove right past the main driveway entrance.

Ron watched the campus fall behind the bus. "And there it goes. Uh, Coach? Did you not see the Community College? We just drove by it, it's back there."

He turned to Kim. "Oh no, KP? I think the years of stress has gotten to him and he's finally had the aneurysm!" He called out to the others. "The bus is out of control and we're all going to be mildly inconvenienced as Kim saves us all!"

"Change of plans, people," Coach Barkin said, "The campus is off-limits due to catastrophic plumbing problems."

Ron stopped. "Wait, so you took us all the way out here just to drive us back home. How much overtime are you racking up on this one, Coach B?"

Barkin glanced back at Ron. "Negative. Luckily, the NCA had multiple fallback venues planned and they managed to get us to a Foxtrot LZ."

Ron remembered his phonetics. "Foxtrot? What was Bravo?"

"Upperton University, but they have plumbing issues, too," Barkin revealed.

Ron brightened. "… We're going to Lowerton Trade School?"

"Wrong again–that was Charlie LZ," Barkin revealed. "And they shut down due to localized flooding."

"Underton Night School?" Ron whimpered.

"Not that I'd take you anywhere near Underton–that was Delta LZ and they had to close due to mold," Barkin lamented.

Ron whimpered, hoping there was still a chance to camp without camping. "Belowton Sunday School…?"

"Echo Site, overrun with frogs," Barkin said. "Foxtrot is an actual camp site, on the sunny shores of Lake Gottagrin."

"Oh, Foxtrot me," Ron lamented.

Contrary to Ron's dread, the bus pulled up in front of a large campsite made up of multiple cabins, on a beautiful crystal-clear lake. The cheerleaders aboard the bus marveled at the natural beauty of the site, the forests that surrounded it, and the distant vista of the Colorado Rockies beyond it. As the bus stopped and the Mad Dogs Cheer Squad disembarked, they came up to a green painted wooden sign, enthusiastically welcoming them to "Camp Gottagrin."

"Wow, look at that lake," Tara said as Hope came up beside her.

"Right?" She peered out. "Oh my gosh, it's beautiful."

Liz took a deep breath. "Smell that fresh air, I… I…" She doubled over to sneeze, then came up with red eyes and a runny nose. "… Am going to be miserable for the rest of the week."

Marcella handed her a pill. "Claritin D, girl."

Liz immediately popped it and blew her nose with a tissue Marcella also supplied her. "Marcella, I love you."

Bonnie disembarked, and looked in the direction of the camp itself, more interested in the many people milling about the property. "… It's okay, I guess. The cabins better not suck."

Kim rolled her eyes before looking up the steps of the bus at her bestie. "Come on, Ron, what better way to erase the nightmares of Camp Wannaweep than with a happy visit to Camp Gottagrin?"

Ron was far from the kind of person to stay negative for too long. "Happy? I like happy. Maybe you're right. This could be good for me." He stepped off the bus, and nearly tripped over his own feet, but stopped himself when he looked at the sunlit waters of the lake. "… Whoa…"

Kim smiled. "See?"

Ron nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I see…" He stopped and peered at the water's edge. "Wait, are those ducks? Aw man, I'm gonna need a lot of crackers."

The voice of a new person called over to him. "The elites don't want you to know this, but the ducks in the lake are free and you can take them home."

Ron, Kim, and the other Middleton Mad Dog Cheerleaders all turned to the person who called out to him. Standing there was a tall and pretty girl wearing–unlike them many of the girls at the campsite in their cheerleading uniforms–a very large and loose white turtleneck sweater with a purple shield bearing a white lion heraldry symbol above the letter P. Besides that, she wore a short purple skirt that barely emerged from under her sweater, and white leggings that went down into purple mary janes. Matching her ensemble was a purple hairband that kept in place her long, flowing brown hair that ended in curls at her hips.

The young woman grinned, showing off her nearly straightened, braces-free teeth. "I have six-hundred eighteen ducks."

Ron was impressed. "Hey, that's a lot of ducks."

He then noticed that the cheerleaders were all frozen, like they'd just seen a ghost, or maybe a God. "… Uhh…?"

"The first person we run into…" Bonnie said.

"The National Champions Captain," Tara said in awe.

"… The Shooting Star…" Hope and Marcella said together.

Jessica looked like she was going to faint. "… Mabel Pines."

Mabel was enthusiastic to greet them. "Hiya! The Middleton Mad Dogs, right? We've been waiting for you to get here, hey!" She gave Ron closer scrutiny. "Oh. My. Gremoblin. You're the Middleton Mad Dog himself!"

Ron brightened. "You know who I am?"

"Know who you are?" Mabel was shocked he'd ask that. "The mascots have been so hyped up for you to get here, that they're foaming at the mouth!"

She turned towards the camp and brought her hands to her mouth. "HEY MASCOTS! YOU BETTER GET YOUR SHOTS; THE MAD DOG IS HERE!"

Among the cabins, and the many cheerleaders socializing, various costumed mascots ranging from Spartan warriors to fluffy Horses to even a waddling shark-cosplayer all turned towards the entrance to the camp, and a great muffled cheer rose through many masks when the colorful mascots all saw a stunned Ron looking back at them.

"MAD DOG! MAD DOG! MAD DOG! MAD DOG!"

Folding her arms, Kim was positively smug as she watched Ron's mouth fall open at the overwhelming reception he was receiving. "Would you look at that, it sounds like this wasn't going to be fun at all until you showed up."

"KP," Ron said in a shaky voice, "I have found my people."

Kim laughed. "Go tear it up, Mad Dog."

Ron didn't need to be told twice, as he bolted back onto the bus. Moments later, he burst leaped out, wearing atop his head the mask of a critically under-bitten bulldog with bloodshot, jaundiced eyes and a fearsome snarl. Letting out a rabid growl, Ron–the Middleton Mad Dog–began to bark and howl before he took off like a madman towards the other mascots, a white form pouring from the mask's mouth.

"Go Mad Dog! Go! Go! Mad Dog~!" Tara and Hope cheered after him, laughing as he reached the other mascots and began high-fiving and chest-bumping all of them.

Kim dropped her arms and shouldered the large duffel bag she brought for her trip. "He's gonna be okay."

Jessica zipped over to Mabel. "Oh my gosh… you are everything that I've seen and more. Holy heck, that voice projection! The charisma! Your energy! And so tall!"

Mabel raised her hand and compared their heights. "Not by that much. You're looking pretty statuesque yourself. You're a base, too, right?"

"Yeah," Jessica said. "I'm Jessica, by the way, and I'm, like, kinda freaking out right now."

Marcella placed her hands together and rested her cheek against them as she leaned to Liz. "Hey, look at that."

Liz sniffled. "Wow, she's like a puppy."

Mabel basked in Jessica's fangirling and looped an arm around her shoulders, the freckled blonde going rigid like electricity shot through her. "Jessica, girl, go ahead and let your freak flag fly! You're gonna have a great time here at Camp Gottagrin, I promise!"

She gestured over to the other Mad Dogs Cheerleaders to follow her, as she began to lead Jessica towards the center of the camp. "Let's get a move-on! There're enough cabins for everyone, but if you want a good spot, you need to sign in that you're here!"

Jessica sighed, now she was anything but rigid, practically melting. "Can I share a cabin with you…?"

Coach Barkin walked over. "That's a good take charge attitude you have there, Pines, did the counselors assign you to this post?"

Mabel hooked a thumb to herself. "No, sir! I'm volunteering to show people around so I can meet everyone!"

Coach Barkin liked that. "Well, you keep up that hustle. I'm going to park the bus and meet with the Camp Coordinators."

As he left, Mabel began leading the cheerleaders into the camp. There were indeed quite a number of cabins, with paths leading off to entire groups of such lodging to provide room for squads ranging from just five people to well over thirty. At the very center of the camp was a large open-air amphitheater with a stage for squads to perform and rows of half-logs to seat over two hundred, a longhouse-style dining and recreation hall, and–the biggest feature of the camp, the long pier to the shimmering waters of Camp Gottagrin.

Everywhere one could look there were cheerleaders, mascots, and their coaches and staff from all over the country.

Tara looked a little intimidated. "Wow, the Piedmont Highlanders, the St. James High School Sharks, the Condoleezza Rice Preparatory Cougars… these are the best squads in the country." She turned towards Kim. "Come on, are you sure you didn't, you know, lean on someone? Grease some palms? Save someone from an evil supervillain?"

"I didn't," Kim insisted. "I so don't know anybody in the NCA, and I'd let you know if I did anything for them. Besides, it wouldn't be fair if we came here just because I did something for them outside of cheerleading."

"For once, I agree with Kim," Bonnie said, "The Middleton Mad Dogs are here because we've got potential, and they see it. Not because one person does all the lifting with her antiquated routines."

Kim glared at Bonnie. "I told you; my routines aren't antiquated."

"Fine, they're geriatric," Bonnie sassed back.

Mabel tilted her head closer to Jessica's. "… Are they always like this?"

"Yeah, we botched a pyramid during our last practice because they were, like, all in each other's grills," Jessica babbled. "It's not as bad as when Bonnie tried to steal the captain spot from Kim, at least."

Mabel's face scrunched up in a worried cringe. "Oooh… it's one of those deals."

A pretty blonde cheerleader with blue eyes that sported a conspicuous beauty mark under the left was tying her shoes next to the entrance of the recreation and dining hall, when she overheard the brewing argument between Kim and Bonnie. Her eyebrows rose as she recognized the group, and she watched with avid interest as they went back and forth.

Bonnie and Kim both heard that, the former taking offense to the insinuation. "The only reason we botch anything is because Kim here can't not be at the top of everything."

Kim glared at Bonnie. "That is so rich coming from you, who will straight up not do the routine unless she gets her way."

"The team needs to make stylistic choices, and the most stylish is putting me at the top of the pyramid," Bonnie said.

Mabel stopped and turned to the two. "Girls, girls! It doesn't really matter who's at the top of the pyramid, as long as the team can come together to make sure they get held up." She stopped. "Well, there's also a specific weight limit. You wouldn't see me at the top of a pyramid, hoo boy, I am a bit too meaty to be that high up."

Bonnie turned a nasty glower on Kim. "She does have a point, Kim. With you weighing one-hundred twenty-two and me weighing one-hundred five, it only makes sense."

Kim gasped, her face flushing as her weight was outed. "Excuse you?!"

Mabel winced again, while Bonnie took savage glee at the look. The cheerleader by the front of the recreation/dining hall finished tying her shoes, got up, and brushed off the skirt of her cheerleading uniform as she walked over.

"She's got a point," the new cheerleader said, "Her being so much lighter will make it easy for you to carry her."

The remark slashed into Bonnie, extinguishing her haughty look and turning her ire onto the newcomer. "What did you say–?!"

She stopped when she recognized the young woman in a cheerleader uniform consisting of a gray top and a pink skirt. On the front of the uniform was a four colored shield with the letters S-J-H-S occupying a corner apiece. There was an air of intense energy around her, perfectly accentuated by the riff of an electric guitar played by by a passing glam-rocker themed mascot.

Kim was enjoying the turnabout. "Well, when you put it like that."

The other Middleton Mad Dogs Cheerleaders recognized her as quickly as they did Mabel.

"We haven't even been here five minutes here, and we keep running into Cheerleader Gods," Liz whispered to Marcella.

Mabel gasped. "You're the St. James High School Sharks Squad Captain!" She exclaimed, partly in relief from the timely intervention. "Sasha Waybright!"

"Hey, Pines," Sasha greeted before she eyed the uniforms of the others. "And these are… the Middleton Mad Dogs? Whoa, Kim Possible's squad is here."

Bonnie, still seething, stepped up to Sasha. "What was that about me being carried?"

Sasha walked around Bonnie like she was a stump in her path. "I'm just saying, that since you're so light, then the top of the pyramid is where you're best suited." She walked up to Kim and gestured to her. "Kimmie, here? I've seen her work. She's got more muscle, more stamina, and she's crazy agile. She can do so much more than just be carried around by the rest of the squad," she turned to Kim. "Right?"

Kim agreed. "Right. Being more versatile and able to do a lot of different things is what makes me a–"

"Good Captain," Sasha finished, before she offered Kim some advice. "Swallow your pride, Possible, and make sure the girls on your squad know their places."

Showing a little humility wasn't beyond Kimberly Ann Possible. She turned back to Bonnie. "She is right, Bonnie, you're much better placed at the top of the pyramid."

Bonnie recoiled. "I… what…?!"

She was confused. Kim was ceding the position at the top of the pyramid to her, just like she wanted, but just giving it to her like this?! "You can't just…!"

"Do you want it or not?" Kim pressed.

Sasha looked at the other members of the squad, then to Kim. "Don't forget to ask what the rest of the squad wants. You may be the Captain, but without them, you'd have nothing."

Kim turned to the others. "What do you think, Bonnie on top of the pyramid?"

"Yeah," Hope said. "No offense Kim, Bonnie's easier on my shoulders."

"I'm for it," Crystal, a cheerleader who'd not said much until this point agreed.

"Sure, whatever," Jessica said, too enamored with Mabel to even remember what they were talking about.

Tara shrugged her shoulders. "As long as there's no more drama about it."

Marcella was likewise for it. "Sasha's right, you have more stuff to do as Captain anyway."

"That's right," Liz added, "With you on the floor, we could spot way better."

Kim turned back to Bonnie. "You want to be at the top of the pyramid? They want you at the top of the pyramid, and now I want you at the top of the pyramid. So… enjoy the top of the pyramid."

Bonnie's mouth moved but no sound came out. Kim confidently giving up the spot for her so she could do more important things, filled her with seething anger. "You…!"

She looked at the rest of the squad, who all wanted her to be at the top of the pyramid, and yet their "support" felt like nothing more than a trivial afterthought. Like she was just getting handed down the position exactly to placate her–the direction that thought went caused something to burn deep inside her.

"… Whatever!" Hefting her bag, Bonnie turned and stormed away from the group. "I'm going to find my freaking cabin."

Hope shook her head. "Ugh, real good-looking, Bonnie."

Tara shared her disgust. "Of course."

Mabel let go of Jessica, to her chagrin, and walked over. "Hey, Kim?"

The redhead turned to the pillar of a cheerleader. "Yes?"

"I think maybe you should talk to Bonnie later, and discuss what exactly she wants out of this," Mabel suggested.

"Huh?" Kim already knew what Bonnie wanted from this. Attention, adoration, and the top of the social food chain that was High School.

Sasha rested a hand on Kim's shoulder. "It's more like, your team is good, girl, but you need to put the drama llama out to pasture before it actually gets in the way of your team's potential for real."

The rest of the squad unanimously agreed, and Kim found no lies in Sasha and Mabel's insight. Turning, she looked in the direction Bonnie stormed off, and watched her melt into the crowd of other cheerleaders and mascots.

Still, she couldn't help but smile a little at Bonnie's frustration.

= - = Part 1-1 = - =​

Return to Camp Wannaweep was a Second Season episode of the show, and probably the BEST place to begin So the Legend. I'm expecting for this ride to last five chapters, six at the very most. I hope the IRC text chat at the start wasn't too jarring. There will be more next week, my dudes.

 

[Espec22]

Mabel.was nice to see and Sasha too. I wonder if we will someone like Ilana Lunis or Cindy Vortex.

 

[The Ero-Sennin]

Wow, IRL and working on Legends totally derailed me. Next time I'm going to be less precise on the days unless I know when I get things posted. Anyway, speaking of Kim's boy, let's see how he's handling camp.

= - = Part 1-2 = - =

|Lake Wannaweep|​

Among a group of heavily costumed and suited mascots, Ron was in the heart of his element, growling and howling as the Mad Dog mask foamed at the mouth. The other mascots let out muffled cheers and chants, throwing their fists into the air or clapping in applause of the Middleton Mad Dog at his finest. After menacing around the circle of mascots, lunging and fake snapping at his peers, Ron slid on his knees back to the center of the circle, letting out one final growling howl.

A blue sabretooth tiger mascot cupped the sides of his cartoonish cheeks. "… Such ferocity, such showmanship…"

A white pegasus pumped a hoofed hand at Ron. "Jeez, Mad Dog, you're not even in full suit and I wanna punch a dude! Where do you get that intensity from, man?!"

Ron pulled off the mad dog mask and fit it under his arm. "It's not about the dog you wear." He patted his chest. "It's about the dog in you."

All his fears about camp were effectively dashed by the warm reception of fellow mascots at the picturesque camp site. How could he be afraid of a camp?

Muscling from the circle, the waddling shark costumed mascot raised their fins in praise of Ron, then held up their left for a high five. Ron did not leave the shark mascot hanging. "Hey, you're Shark Kid!"

Shark Kid raised their fins in cheer again, then went fins akimbo while their tail fin wagged behind them.

Ron was impressed by the tail movement. "You were great during nationals. Doing all that wild flopping around, you had everybody rolling."

Shark Kid shook as though laughing boisterously, then slapped Ron on the shoulder with their right flipper, nearly knocking him over. "Whoa… and you're… weirdly strong, too. Wow."

The white pegasus mascot rested a hand on Ron's shoulder. "Hey, Mad Dog. Just as a heads up, you'll wanna get signed in so you can get a good cabin. Spots are filling up fast."

Turning his head, the big felt horse man gestured to the small felt shark. "Hey Shark Kid, care to show Mad Dog to the tables?"

Shark Kid quickly snapped into a salute and led Ron off, gesticulating wildly as they walked with him.

"How am I liking the camp site?" He asked in response to the seemingly random flailing. "I gotta say, it definitely feels like how a camp should be, and not all weird and scary like the last campsite I went to. Shame it's not the MCC with the computer lab and the Bueno Nacho."

Shark Kid immediately slumped forward, hanging their head low as if in despair. Ron read it perfectly. "You were hoping to stay at the college, too? I think we can live for a week without it."

In agreement, Shark Kid hopped several times before tripping, flailing, and falling on their face.

"Whoa, are you okay?" Ron asked.

Shark Kid held up fin in affirmative, then slowly rose back to their feet. Once again, the shark-dressed mascot began dancing, and Ron quickly interpreted it.

"Wow, the suit's that soft, huh? No wonder you faceplant so much." He looked at Rufus on his shoulder. "Complete dedication to the craft. This is why Shark Kid is a genius."

Shark Kid placed their hands over their cheeks, as if to swoon while blushing brightly. Together they approached the tables, where a green-eyed girl with light brown skin and poofy orange-red hair wearing the black and gold uniform of the Condoleezza Rice Preparatory Cougars Cheer Squad sat. When they approached, the girl gasped.

"Oh my gosh, Ron Stoppable. I can't believe you're here!" The cheerleader said. "And Rufus, too! Oh my gosh!" The cheerleader quickly clapped her hands together. "He is so cute!"

Rufus, who liked the attention even more, humbly pressed his left paw to his cheek while making an "Oh do go on!" gesture to the young woman while chattering.

Ron could feel his stock go up as cheerleaders recognized him, too. "Well, you know… I can't always be out saving the world. Sometimes, I gotta let the dog out."

He hefted up the mad dog mask for emphasis, and the cheerleader laughed.

"Right? Anyway, my name's Jazmine and I'm in charge of getting everyone signed in!" The cheerleader gestured to the sign-in sheet. "You're gonna need to sign-in here on the mascots form, and we will give you your assigned cabin! Since we're a bit tight for space, you will be bunking with another mascot."

"That's okay," Ron said as he began writing down his name. He glanced towards Shark Kid. "Wouldn't it be awesome if we got to share a cabin, Shark Kid?"

Once more Shark Kid brought their flippers to the sides of their big grinning shark mouth, and steam poured from their gills.

Jazmine giggled at their reaction before checking where Ron signed his name. "All right! You're all set up in Cabin Thirteen."

Ron jerked forward slightly before coming to a sudden halt. Memories flooded his mind, of a shotgun shack of a cabin in the furthest corner of the camp, snarling squirrels, sneering archers, and a shrieking chimpanzee. Sweat beaded on his forehead, his pupils dilated, and a tremor began to run through his body.

Jazmine tilted her head, her pom-pom-like bunches bouncing with it. "Are you okay…? Hello~, Mad Dog?"

"Hey!" Rufus chattered, before slapping Ron's cheek, and he snapped out of it.

"Huh?! Okay? I'm okay! Super okay!" He quickly said. "This is Camp Gottagrin! Not Camp Wannaweep! Thirteen? Thirteen is my favorite number! It's when I got Rufus, hahahaha!"

Both Shark Kid and Jazmine looked at one another, then at Ron with concern. Reading the room, Ron did what he did best to avoid an awkward situation–he powered through. "Well, I'm gonna go check out my cabin, thanks ladies and sharks!"

Gripping the head of his costume, Ron quickly retreated and headed towards the cabins, Jazmine calling after him. "Hey, you need your key card…!"

Ron did not hear her, caught up in his own desperate self-reassurance. "It's just a coincidence, Ron. This is bright and sunny Camp Gottagrin! Fun and happy Camp Gottagrin! There's 'grin' in the name! How can this not be the happiest place on Earth?"

He looked around as he walked, and found that the cabins weren't tiny, barely maintained log shacks. They were large and spacious, newly made even. The path was well-groomed, and the grass was cut. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming. Everything was… nice.

"This is not Camp Wannaweep, this is not Camp Wannaweep," Ron reminded himself again as he reached his cabin–no different from the others, with even a nice little placard numbered 13 just above the door. "This is going to be a fun week where I can hang out with mascots and watch cheerleaders do cheerleading stuff!"

He looked at Rufus as he reached the door. "Right, Rufus?"

Rufus rolled his eyes and gave him a more reassuring pat on the cheek. "A-OK."

Taking several big, deep breaths, Ron steadied himself and found his center as he grasped the door handle and turned it.

It didn't budge.

"Huh?" Ron said aloud before jiggling the handle. He called into the Cabin "Hello? Why's the door locked? I'm supposed to be staying here?"

To his surprise the handle suddenly twisted, and creaked open. Ron slowly looked up and met gazes with an olivine-skinned young man with dark green hair, whose face lit up with delight in recognition.

Terror, on the other hand, swept through Ron.

"Hey Ronnie," the young man said, "Remember me?"

Ron stepped back, staring at the young man. "… Y-you… you're… you…!"

The young man stepped out of the cabin, wearing a dark green sleeveless shirt and lime-green pants–the first un-uniformed person Ron had seen out here. "Come on, buddy. I know you remember me. How can you forget?"

How could he forget? Ron's mind swirled as he was bombarded with chilling memories of the red-eyed fish monster he starkly remembered. The terror he inflicted, attempting to drown him repeatedly in the putrid waters of Lake Wannaweep in revenge for the horrifying mutation he suffered in their childhood days at the camp that traumatized him so. Gil Moss, or–as he insisted–the monster man Gill.

He wanted to forget, so he could stop remembering every horrifying second. "Gill!"

"Actually, it's just Gil, now," Gil corrected.

Ron pointed a finger at him accusingly. "GILL!"

"Dude, I said it's just one L now."

"What are you doing here, what evil do you bring to Camp Gottagrin?!" Ron shouted, and nearby mascots and cheerleaders turned to look at him.

Gil just kept on smiling. "Evil? Dude, Ronnie, I'm past that! I'm all de-gunked and legit! I'm even on the football team for Hidden Lake High School! I'm their Mascot, the Creature from the Hidden Lake."

Ron surged at him, forcing Gil back, as he snapped at him. "A perfect role for you, huh?!"

Gil sputtered. "Wh-wha?"

Ron kept going. "You won't get your mutated fish claws into me!"

Turning, Ron bolted away, yelling at the top of his lungs. "Run for your lives! An evil fish monster is in the camp and he's gonna turn us all into mutant horrors!"

As Ron ran off the path and into the woods, falling out of site, Gil looked around at all the other camp guests staring at him, then back in the direction Ron went. "… That hurt, man."

Rufus clung for dear life to the back of Ron's shoulder as he barged through the forest's dense underbrush, panting heavily as he fled as fast as his feet could take him.

"No, no-no-no-no-no! This isn't happening!" Ron said as he ran. "Cabin 13? Gill?! This isn't happening! Why is it that every time I go camping it has to be just like–WHOA!"

He tripped over a branch and began stumbling down a steep slope, right towards the edge of Lake Gottagrin. Bursting through the last few bushes, he staggered right to the lake's edge and came to a halt ankle deep in the clear, calm water.

Staring out, Ron's eyes widened in growing horror as he looked out across the lake. "… No… it can't be…"

Directly across the lake from where he stood, he could see another camp–centered around a large amphitheater styled stage. "… That's… that's Band Camp…!"

He looked to the right. "This isn't happening…"

Almost directly besides the Band Camp was a Camp with numerous telecommunication towers and dishes atop the cabin. "Telecommunications Camp…!"

Further to the right he grew pale at the sight of the circus tent rising above the trees and the cabins surrounding it. "C-Clown Camp…!"

Then finally, he let out a fearful squeak at the unforgettable sight of a rocket looming over several highly advanced-looking lodgings. "Science Camp…"

He looked down at the water he stood in. "This isn't Lake Gottagrin… this… this is… Camp Wannaweep!"

Another young man's voice called out. "Huh, you're the first person I've seen here who knows the old name of this place."

Ron turned to the person who spoke and found himself face to face with a young man with brown, messy hair underneath a brown lumberjack hat. He was another person not dressed like a mascot or a cheerleader, wearing a dark blue vest over a reddish-orange t-shirt, gray cargo shorts, and dark brown hiking boots. In his hands he held a DSLR camera with a long-range zoom lens attached, which he had been pointing at the direction of Clown Camp.

Ron leaped out of the lake with a yelp back onto the bank. "Oh no! Am I mutating?! Do you see any scales?!" He stuck out of his tongue. "I think my tongue's forking!"

The young man with the camera took a few picture of across the lake. "You also know about that, too? Relax, the lake's been allegedly decontaminated so you're not going to mutate. Though… I'm surprised you know even know about that."

He lowered his camera and turned to face Ron. "No one else here knows–and if they do they definitely don't want to talk about it."

He shot an ugly look in the direction of science camp.

Ron looked at the water, suspicious of that claim, before answering. "How can I not know? I've been here too many times to ever forget."

The young man turned back to Ron, and his scowl faded as he recognized him. "Wait a second… you're Ron Stoppable."

"Yeah, yeah, the Middleton Mad Dog," Ron said quickly.

The young man walked up to Ron. "I don't know anything about that, I care more about you being part of Team Possible."

It took Ron aback to be recognized for his sidekick work, and he calmed down a bit. "You do?"

The young man extended his hand. "I'm actually kind of a big fan. The name's Dipper, my sister's attending Cheer Camp and I'm along because spooky lakes full of mysteries and scandals are kind of my jam."

Ron looked at Dipper, then at his hand, before shaking it. "And all the cute cheerleaders you get to hang out with, right?"

Dipper looked aside with a bit of a smirk. "… And all the cute cheerleaders… though hanging out with them? I'll pass."

"Eh, they're cheerleaders, not elves. Just talk to them like any normal person and you'll be fine," Ron assured him.

Dipper let out a short, awkward chuckle. "I don't have time for getting into that kind of trouble."

He looked back over the lake and changed the subject. "There's a lot to unpack here and I've only got a week to do it. In fact, with you here, I feel a lot more confident about investigating it."

As Dipper lifted his camera and took several pictures, Ron watched him intently, Rufus leaning in a bit to find out what this kid was on about with him. "Oh yeah?"

"There's something strange going on here, something possibly even sinister," Dipper answered.

And now Ron was fully alert. "Yeah, there is…" He looked back towards the direction of the camp. "And it's definitely sinister."

Dipper took a few more pictures. "This place is too inconspicuous. It's almost perfect in how it's so unassuming."

Ron nodded in agreement. "That's what I was thinking! But I know now, for a fact, that there's something dangerous going on!"

Dipper lowered his camera again and turned to him. "… You do?"

Ron nodded resolutely. "And I can see you're onto something, too! Lake Wannaweep isn't what it seems at all! The name change, the cleanup, no one knowing what's going on here…!"

Dipper nodded, growing more enthusiastic. "Yeah… yeah! We're the only ones who see it, don't we?!"

Ron raised a clenched fist. "I sure do!"

Together they shouted.

"The suspicious clown camp across the lake!"

"The mutant fish monster plotting his revenge!"

Both stopped and stared at one another.

"Fish Monster?" Dipper asked.

"Clown Camp?" Ron answered.

They stared at one another, before Dipper gestured to him. "Explain yours, first."

"No, explain yours," Ron said. "What's wrong with clowns?!"

Dipper gave Ron a confused side-eye. "You're not afraid of clowns?"

"Why would I be?" Ron asked in turn. "Hello~? Clowns are bringers of joy and laughter. People who are afraid of clowns don't understand them, and suspecting a clown of evil is just perpetuating a stereotype thanks to a few betrayers of the clown code."

Dipper's interests were piqued. "So, there is a code…"

Letting the camera hang by the strap around his neck, Dipper pulled a blue book from the bag on his back and opened it to begin writing. "Do you know Clown Code?"

Ron began to answer. "Well, it's more a code of conduct than…" He stopped. "Hey, tell me what your beef with clowns is!"

Dipper looked up from the book at Ron. "You probably wouldn't believe it… even if you do fight supervillains like every other week."

"It's not so much fighting as it is offering emotional and morale support," Ron corrected. "But we've got an honest to dog lake mutant on our hands. My ability to believe is definitely good."

Dipper looked from him and out at the circus-themed camp. "… Okay, I'm here to determine if clowns are one of three things: One, they're just people in makeup who scare kids by being weird."

"You mean make them laugh by being funny and wholesome," Ron corrected.

"Two, they're interdimensional horrors that feed on fear and souls," Dipper continued.

Ron let out an exasperated sigh. "I blame Stephen King for almost all the clown slander. It wasn't even that good!"

"I've never read," Dipper informed him before continuing. "Then there's the third possibility…"

Ron grew even more defensive. "What, that they're killer aliens from outer space? They're a disease that's contracted when wearing a goofy wig? Or what, they're regular people who spontaneously transform into clowns when they laugh?"

Dipper shook his head. "No, the third possibility… is that they're heroic ninja pirates who travel dimensions fighting monsters, and this Clown Camp is one of their training grounds."

Ron once again stared in silence at Dipper, Rufus joining him. After a moment of processing that, he voiced his thoughts on that possibility succinctly.

"That sounds awesome."

"Right?!" Dipper said in excitement. "That's why I'm trying to get over there to find out what they're all about. I mean, who sends their kids to clown camp?"

Ron realized that this young man spoke wisdom. "Hey, you have a point…"

Dipper nodded quickly. "It's just there, and I've seen people walking around so it's not empty, but do you know anyone who has ever been to it? Or even said, in full confidence, 'I can't wait to go to clown camp this summer.'"

Ron agreed. "I love clowns, but you couldn't pay me to attend clown camp."

Mostly because clowns worked at circuses and circuses tended to have monkeys.

Dipper looked across the lake towards Clown Camp once more. "Well, if you want to check it out for free, I'm going to sneak over there tonight to set up some camera traps."

Ron rubbed his chin. "I might be on board with that… especially if it means staying out of my cabin with… Gill."

Dipper turned back to Ron. "Gil? That creep who runs around barefoot."

His eyes widened in recognition. "Wait… is he that Gil? The kid who turned into a mutant and literally tried to kill you?!"

"And mutate my friends? Yeah, that's him!" Ron said.

Dipper looked towards Camp Gottagrin. "… Why is he here? And why did they put you in a cabin with him?!"

"He says he's here to be a mascot, but I know his real plan is to get his revenge for me defeating him when he tried to get revenge on me for causing him to turn into a mutant, even though he agreed to trade swim time in the lake even after I told him that it was contaminated."

Cocking his head to one side, Dipper was surprised. "That is petty."

"Trust me, in the superhero business, pettiness is pretty much the sole motivation for a lot of these guys," Ron lamented, Rufus nodding sadly with him. "He's probably arranged for us to be in the same cabin, so he can push me around like he used to."

"Well," Dipper began, "We should do something about that."

Ron perked up. "Alert the authorities? Because I can get the National Guard down here in a second–"

"No, nothing so dramatic," Dipper said as he walked past him, gesturing for him to follow. "There's a simpler solution for this kind of thing."

= - = Part 1-2 = - =​

And thus marks both our Pines Twins, a very kind cheerleader, a curious shark, and an old nemesis. This chapter's scene required a whole revision and division, but I am so excited for how this one's going to twist and turn. Here's hoping the sharp-eyed can sight what depths of the net I've plumbed for this one.

 

[Espec22]

Well, as far i can see there only a few solutions:

Number 1) Challenge Gil to a duel for the right to use the cabin
Number 2) Challenge Gil to a duel to the death, the one left alive keeps the cabin
Number 3) Kill Gil,and you avoid future problems, of course you would go to Jail but that's future Ron's problem
And number 4)Just ask to change cabins......................................................then kill Gil

 

[The Ero-Sennin]

I really should be updating my stories more regularly. I actually have a backlog of chapters, but I haven't been posting them because the work/life divide hasn't been great. That changes now.

= - = Part 1-3 = - =

|Fishy|​

Back at the cabin registration, Condoleezza Rice Preparatory Cougars Cheerleader Jazmine DuBois watched Ron go tearing off towards his cabin, completely ignoring her calling after him. Raising an eyebrow, the orange haired, green eyed young woman with light-brown skin from a mixed African, European heritage shook her head. Her hair, pulled straight but blooming out into a single large curly bunch at at the back of her head, bounced as she shrugged her shoulders.

"Okay…" She turned to Shark Kid and held up Ron's card. "Hey, can you get this to him?"

Shark Kid snapped into a salute and offered a fin for the key card. The second the shark-shaped mascot had the card, they nearly dropped it, and with a wild flailing of their fins desperately juggled it before they finally caught it between both.

Not three steps and they fell over, landing face first.

Jazmine winced and leaned over the table. "You okay?"

Just as quickly, Shark Kid was on their feet and hopped in place to demonstrate their recovered balance before waddling off in the direction Ron departed. Jazmine watched them go, in awe.

"They really are the best."

The approaching Middleton Mad Dog Cheer Squad drew Jazmine's attention and she smiled at them. "Hello, and welcome to Cheer Camp! I'm Jazmine and I'm in charge of getting everyone signed in!"

She stopped when she saw Kim Possible at the front of the group of cheerleaders, flanked by Mabel Pines and Sasha Waybright–the first and third-best cheerleaders in all of America. She squeaked as she went from starstruck to asteroid struck at the site of all of her heroes.

"Oh my gosh, you're…" She took a deep breath, then simply said. "… Wow."

Sasha rolled her eyes in a good-natured fashion. "Hey Jaz, we gotta get these girls squared away."

"Ri-right!" Jazmine sputtered as she quickly gathered up a clipboard and presented it to them. "Here you go, please sign-in right away, oh my gosh… it's really you! It's really Kim Possible, right here…! Ohmygoshohmygosh!"

"Jazmine!" Sasha yelled, going unheard over her chanting.

Kim, not used to any kind of fangirling, flushed as her fellow cheerleaders all gave her smug looks. "Hey, it's no big. I'm just here to improve my cheerleading."

Jazmine fanned herself with both hands. "I know, but you're just like… so my HERO!"

Mabel smiled at Jazmine. "Easy, girl, you're doing fine. Just take deep~ breaths."

Doing as told while Kim signed in her name and info, Jazmine placed a hand on her chest, inhaled slowly, then exhaled. "I am so sorry… I was not ready…"

She breathed in again. "You are all amazing, and I can't believe I'm spending a week with you all." Picking up Kim's key card, she handed it to her. "You're in the Girl's Doubles Area, Cabin 9. Do you have any questions?"

"Actually," Kim said, as she got an idea to get her back on track, "Yeah, I noticed that there are a lot of people here, where's everybody else staying?"

Jazmine was happy to answer. "So, the bigger teams all get to bunk together in the larger dormitories. While smaller squads like yours are set up two to a cabin. Mascots get set up two to a cabin, too."

Mabel nodded to Kim, before asking the next question. "Say, Jazmine, what are the routine and rules?"

Jazmine stared at Mabel, before her green-eyes widened a little. "Oh! I'm glad you asked!"

Pulling herself back together, she began to recite the regulations like it was a natural, enjoyable thing for her. "Your coach will be around to hand you your schedules for the week, but for everyone: wake up is at six am, meals are at seven, one, and seven. Courses and activities are over at seven pm, and then after dinner you have free time until nine pm where everyone should be in their cabins and lights out at ten. There's no consumption of recreational drugs including smoking, drinking, or otherwise ingesting. Sororizing and Fraternizing is prohibited, this is Cheer Camp–not Date Camp. Please keep your hands to yourselves."

Sasha finished up. "Otherwise, maintain a professional code of conduct and represent your squad here at camp as you would on the sideline."

"Exactly!" Jazmine said. "Most importantly, though… have fun! This is Cheer Camp!"

Picking up a pair of pom-poms, Jazmine rolled them hand over hand before raising both above her head. "Let's be the best cheerleaders we can be!"

Kim liked Jazmine, she was solid. "All right, let's get signed up. Tara? Find Bonnie and tell her to sign in. She totally headed the wrong way."

Tara finished signing in and saluted her as she left. "You got it, Kim."

Before the rest of the cheerleaders could disperse to their cabins, however, Dipper and Ron walked over–the former waving over to Jazmine.

"Hey, Jazmine, got something we need you to fix real quick."

Jazmine perked up when she saw them. "Oh! I sent Shark Kid to give Ron his key card."

Mabel's eyebrows rose at the sight of Ron already hanging out with her brother. "Dipper, you met Ron!"

Sasha made a face at the sight of Dipper. The young man had been here only as long as anyone else, and he already looked like he'd spent that entire time crawling on his hands and knees through the wilderness.

Dipper acknowledged his sister. "Yeah, about that." He turned to Jazmine. "Ron needs to be put into a different cabin, pronto."

Ron stepped up with him. "Yeah, the pronto-er the better."

Kim raised an eyebrow, as she recognized his familiar signs of distress. "What's going on?"

Turning to her, Ron explained. "Oh, I don't know, the fact they put me in the same cabin as a monster?!"

Shark Kid returned to the table, accompanied by Gil, who caught the tail end of that. "Hey, come on, Ronnie! I told you I got degunked. I'm not a monster anymore!"

On sight, the Middleton Mad Dog cheerleaders took a step back from him.

"Whoa, hold up," Marcella said, "What's he doing here?!"

"Yeah, that's that kid who tried to kill us," Hope added.

Gil looked hurt again. "I didn't try to kill you! I just sprayed you with my mutagenic gunk."

"Ew, phrasing!" Liz called out.

Gil looked at her. "All it was going to do was mutate you!"

"Yeah, and being a mutant horror may as well be a death sentence for cheerleaders!" Liz pointed out.

Hope saw the brighter side of it. "But if you were a cute mutant, like a monster girl?"

The Cheerleaders thought about it. They all quickly came to a consensus that being a monster girl would work, but expecting anything good to come of Gil mutating them was a thought exercise in futility.

Also, he was gross.

"There you go," Ron said, "I'm not bunking with him."

Gil sniffled. "That's not fair. I told you I'm not a mutant anymore, and I'm over the whole revenge thing, believe me!" He turned to Jazmine. "Jaz, you're not going to let him just treat me like this, are you?"

Jazmine held her hand up to Gil, stopping him. "Hol' up."

With that same hand she pointed at Ron. "What else you got?"

Ron, surprised he was being listened to, continued. "Well, there's also the fact that even without the whole revenge thing? He and I were never friends–in fact, back when this was Camp Wannaweep, he did nothing but bully me. To be honest, it made an already pretty lousy experience worse."

Kim nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I can confirm that. I didn't go, but Gil made sure we all knew about it back when he lured us out here the first time to torment Ron."

"Yeah!" The Mad Dog Cheerleaders added.

Jazmine nodded. "Okay, I'll talk to the organizers and have Ron transferred to another cabin."

Gil grew surprised. "Wait…!"

Dipper raised his hand and spoke over him. "I'm by myself, since I'm a plus one. He can bunk with me."

"Hold on!" Gil tried to protest.

The poofy-haired cheerleader smiled at Dipper. "Aw, you're so sweet, thanks!" She made a show of dusting off her hands. "Well, that was easy."

Gil sputtered. "But…!"

Jazmine turned to him with a hard look. "Ron has expressed an unwillingness to room with you due to your past interactions, and regardless of being degunked or whatever, you are not entitled access to your former victims–especially if they don't consent to it. That's just common sense."

"Yeah!" The Mad Dog Cheerleaders said together with Ron and Dipper.

Looking stricken at first, Gil's expression turned into a frustrated glare at Jazmine, before he threw his hands up. "You know what? Fine! He can bunk with somebody else!"

He pointed at Ron. "I'm trying to start over, extend an olive branch, and this is how you treat me? Like I'm some kind of freak? I can't believe you, Ronnie."

With that, he stormed off, bringing his forearm up to rub his eyes as he left.

After watching him leave, Dipper turned to Ron and the others. "I'm not the only one who saw that, right?"

Ron pointed at himself. "I was literally the person it happened to."

"Playing the victim and victim-blaming at the same time, he is a pro," Jazmine said.

Kim shook her head. "He is so not fooling anyone."

Ron turned to Kim, his eyes widening a bit before he smiled. "You think he's up to something, too?"

Kim turned to him. "Ron, suddenly there are way too many coincidences about this trip."

Jazmine turned Sasha. "Could you keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't do anything reckless?"

Sasha casually saluted her and went in Gil's direction. "Sure."

Jazmine nodded to Ron. "Don't worry, the staff will have your back."

"And if they somehow don't, we will," Kim said, the other Mad Dog cheerleaders quickly agreeing.

"Yeah!" They chorused one more time for full effect.

Shark Kid walked up and patted Ron on his back in reassurance, this time holding back on the strength.

Ron couldn't be happier. "Wow… thanks, guys. You know what? This camping trip is already going into my top three."

This was in the top three of the worst camping trips Bonnie had ever been on–and all of them involved being accompanied by her sisters or being attacked by an evil mutant. So it was in a solid second. Her arms folded and her shoulders hitched, she was walking back towards the registration with Tara.

"Why are you so mad?" The blonde cheerleader criticized as she walked alongside her. "You wanted to be at the top of the pyramid. Can't you just be happy that Kim took the L and gave you the spot?"

Bonnie's seething grew. "She did not 'take the L'; she decided that it wasn't good enough for her, but perfect for me."

Tara rolled her eyes. "OMG, you are so petty."

"Yeah, keep acting like I'm being the bitch here."

Gil came stomping along and passed between them, not even looking as he nearly shoulder-checked both. The two Mad Dog Cheerleaders both looked back as they watched the young man walk off.

"Ew, gross," Bonnie said, "Who was that?"

Recognition swept over Tara. "Bon, I think that's Gill."

"IT'S ONE L!" Gil yelled back at her.

"Yeah, that's him."

Bonnie did a double-take looking between Tara and Gil's back. "I don't believe this. First you all treat me like garbage, and now that freak is on the loose."

"We are not treating you like garbage! We just wanted the drama to end so we can actually do our routines!"

Bonnie turned on Tara. "Then why did you just go and back Kim up?"

"We let you have the spot!"

"It's not about the stupid spot, it's about respect!" Bonnie yelled at her, before adding in a lowered tone. "Or rather the lack of it."

Tara hesitated in arguing back, as she sensed there was something else going on. "… Bon, are you okay?"

Bonnie sneered and turned away. "Just forget it."

She stormed away from Tara, heading for the registration tables. As Tara called after her, trying to get Bonnie to slow down, Sasha passed by both girls as she trailed after Gil. Glancing back. Sasha's lips curved up into a smirk towards Bonnie, before she kept going her way.

@@@@@​

With his bag shouldered and his Mad Dog Mask tucked under his other arm, Ron walked along with Dipper towards the edge of the lake, where an entirely new construction of cozy-looking cottages that looked like single family homes–a far cry from the old cabins they used to have. He looked up at the two story emerald-green house with a bronze roof that looked like it was green-energy powered just from looking at it.

"Wow, this is definitely not the Camp Wannaweep I remember."

Dipper glanced at him. "Yeah, the new owners have been putting a lot of money into this."

"Oh yeah?" Ron asked. "Who'd buy this dump?"

Dipper nodded as they walked inside the lodge and entered. It was wood-finished and cozy, but almost aggressively sleek –looking more like a glass atrium with hologram projected television and even video games connected to wall inputs on a table set up on the far wall across from the center-placed couch. "They're a biotech startup from two years ago. They're big on ethical bioengineering and environmental protection, so they were really interested in the cleanup… but they're also a multibillion dollar corporation, so I can't trust them."

Ron was suddenly getting Wade vibes from Dipper. "Not a fan of big business, huh?"

"Never have, especially when they do a lot of sketchy stuff out in the open and then pay other big corporations to convince us it's our fault things are bad." Dipper explained as they took a left nd crossed the living room, then a right to walk up the stairs.

"I know a guy you'd get along with, though. He runs our website–"

"Wade, right? I've heard about him, but I don't really do the whole internet thing."

"Really?"

Dipper nodded as they reached one of the three rooms on the similarly styled second floor, ceiling-mounted LED lamps warming up to a gentle glow as they approached the first door on the right. "I don't even have my own phone. They're too easy to track."

"Wow, how do you live?"

"Off the grid however I can–but if I need to use one, my sister has me covered."

He opened the door and led Ron and Rufus into a spacious room with a set of wood-paneled bunk beds, a sleek reading desk with a fluorescent desk lamp, and a window facing the camp's eponymous lake and a perfect view of the other camps.

Ron lit up at the sight of the bunk beds. "Hey, you didn't claim top bunk, did you?"

"Nope, it's all yours," Dipper said.

Setting down his bags, Ron was off like a gunshot, climbing the ladder up to the top bunk and settling onto it. "Oh man, this is the first time I've ever gotten top bunk at camp, or shared a cabin with another human being."

Dipper looked up at him. "What, you've only gone camping with Rufus?"

"I wish. When this was Wannaweep, they made me bunk with the camp's chimpanzee mascot."

That earned a double-take from the other young man. "… What?!"

"Crazy, right? And that's not even getting to all of the bugs, or the squirrels…"

Dipper was horrified. "They made you room with a dangerous animal?! It could've mutilated you!"

"I know, right? I've been terrified of all monkeys and apes."

Dipper stared at him, and nodded. "Yeah, that's reasonable."

Ron decided that he liked this guy. Lying on his back and stretching out, he admired the space and comfort his bunk provided. "You know what, though? If I don't have to deal with any of that here at the new and improved Camp Gottagrin? I'm already putting it behind me–even Gill."

Rufus stretched out beside him and chattered in agreement.

Walking over the window, Dipper looked out across the lake and narrowed his eyes as he scrutinized Clown Camp. "Yeah, it's all about making new memories instead of reliving the same trauma."

@@@@@​

Inside her cabin, marked 9, Kim had her Smart Phone out and the Kimmunicator App on. A helpful piece of kit that Wade programmed, it made her phone untraceable and granted her privacy a paranoid maniac like Dipper would only dream of, but she only really used it to keep in touch with Wade without giving away her communications.

"Can you tell me anything at all about why Gill is at Camp Gottagrin?" She asked her IT and Gadget guy.

On her phone screen, Wade looked between his webcam connecting him to Kim and one of his many computer screens. "Gil Moss, right? He's actually been degunked and human for months now… the whole process was published in Nature back in August last year."

Kim's eyebrows rose. "Dr. Lurkin does good work."

Wade corrected her. "Actually… Dr. Lurkin couldn't do it. He specialized in plants. Sycorax, on the other hand, could."

That made her eyebrow quirk higher. "Sycorax? That's the Biotech Corp, right?"

"Yeah, and here's something else–they purchased Camp Wannaweep and renovated it to what it is now after the lake got cleaned up. They've invested a lot of money in the area; it's their first big environmental project outside of California."

"Huh… that's… charitable of them," Kim said after a moment. "But why is Gill here?"

"I'm bringing up info on him now," Wade said as he kept typing. "After he was degunked he underwent court-ordered therapy, and they discovered his aggressive and antisocial behavior was because of overexposure to the lake's toxins. His parents were able to sue the owners of the Science Camp for that and they settled out of court."

Kim's eyes widened. "That's a lot of money."

"He was missing and presumed drowned in the lake for a couple years, Kim," Wade pointed out. "Finding out your son was actually mutated into a lake monster by highly toxic runoff from a megacorp owned summer camp is an easy payday with the right lawyers."

"More like anyone who can pass the Bar. We definitely would've heard about that."

"Well, technically these are all sealed records, so…"

At that she narrowed her eyes in disapproval. "Wade, are you somewhere you're not supposed to be?"

"Hey, you wanted info? You're getting info."

With that, Wade returned his scrutiny to that very info. "He's been living a normal life since, up in Arvada. He has routine therapy sessions and even monthly follow-up visits to Sycorax HQ in San Francisco to make sure he's still healthy."

"So he's clean."

"As a whistle."

Doubt tugged at Kim, and she didn't dismiss it casually out of hand. "Something doesn't feel right, though."

"You mean like how ex-Camp Wannaweep is the convenient last stop in a list of contingencies after every other location had to cancel? Or how the NCA just out of the blue invited a mid cheer squad like the Mad Dogs? Or how Hidden Lake High School's Cheer Squad is at the very bottom of state rankings but they're here, too?"

"Hey, the Mad Dogs are not mid. We're above average on a bad day." A very defensive Kim corrected him, before agreeing. "But yeah, it reminds me of the same kind of effort Gill went through to get us out here last time. It's so sketch."

"The sketchiest. I'll poke around to make sure there's nothing strange going on, and get back to you when I have more intel."

"I'll do you one better, Wade, and do some on site investigation. Who runs Camp Gottagrin?"

"Let me check." Wade begins typing.

"It better be ethically sourced," Kim warned.

"Yes, Mom." Wade finished his search. "Okay, here, from Camp Gottagrin's website. Current Campground Host is Travis Malone."

Wade brought up a picture of a man of biracial caucasian and african descent, with his hair pulled into low, tied-off braids. "Thirty-two years old, single, and is actually pretty high up in Sycorax's management."

Kim narrowed her eyes. "How high?"

"Executive manager of their Environmental Impact Mitigation department." He stopped. "Huh, this position at the camp is a volunteer spot, so he's doing it for free and as part of the conservation effort of the lake."

Which to the average person would sound like a thoughtful and attentive gesture–and a cynic would call an obvious PR stunt to show how committed they are to the environment and attract investment.

Kim Possible went a little harder than that, though.

"Something's not right."

Wade agreed. "It's just too suspicious."

Hearing the beep of her door unlock and the latch start to work, she whispered to Wade quickly. "Wade, I'll call you back, my roommate is here."

The door opened, and Bonnie took two steps inside before she stopped and gaped in shock at Kim. "Oh, you have got to be kidding."

Kim put her phone away, frowning. "This is Cabin 9, where are you supposed to be?"

Bonnie looked at her sheet. "Cabin 9."

Before she could let her normal issues with Bonnie take hold, she stopped herself. "Well, looks like we're bunking together. That's good, because we need to talk–"

With a sharp look, Bonnie cut her off. "No, we don't. I'm so swapping out."

The enmity flared, and Kim scoffed. "Go ahead, I would love to not share space with you."

Bonnie huffed and turned around to call out. "Does anyone want to trade cabins with me? I am not bunking with Kim!"

Sasha, who was strolling up at that moment, brightened. She had lost track of Gill when he'd stormed off into the woods, and she wasn't going past the camp perimeter in her good uniform.

She called over. "Really? I'll trade."

Turning to face her, Bonnie grew incensed at Sasha's offer. "Mad Dogs only!"

Kim raced to the door, talking over Bonnie. "Actually if you really want to–"

Bonnie almost elbowed Kim, pushing her back. "And let you bunk with a national champion? Over my dead body, Kim."

Sasha cocked an eyebrow, sizing Bonnie up like she'd done when she first saw her. "Are you sure you don't want to switch cabins with me?"

Turning to her, Bonnie glowered. "Why would I accept anything from you?"

She pulled out a key card. "Because the top three Captains got their own personal cabins to use as they like, and I don't have plans for mine–besides keeping my stuff."

Bonnie swiftly snatched the keycard from Sasha's hand, then offered her own.

The vindicated little smirk Sasha wore curled sharper as she took Bonnie's card.

Kim looked after Bonnie as her rival marched away. "What happened to 'over my dead body?'"

"That went out the window when I could have a cabin to myself!" She yelled back.

Sasha leaned over to Kim. "She's not getting a cabin to herself. My plus one and Shark Kid are bunking with me."

Kim raised an eyebrow. "Are they going to be okay with that?"

"Sure," Sasha reassured Kim. "I mean; given who I'm bunking with, now? They'll definitely understand."

With that, Kim smiled and extended her hand. "Well, it's nice to have you, roomie."

Sasha shook her hand, smiling back. "Nice to be in your care, roomie."

= - = Part 1-3 = - =​

Return to Wannaweep was an annoying episode of the series, because it relied so much on people not actually caring about what Ron thought and being far too forgiving of the mutant monster that tormented them. Soooo... let's play with that. Also, yes, why that is Sycorax from Big Hero 6 the series and Jazmine DuBois from The Boondocks.

 

[Espec22]

I see that you went for option ....good for Ron.

 

[The Ero-Sennin]

A timely update, yes. You will not be waiting months for more stories from me. I hope.

= - = Part 1-4 = - =


|Kickoff|​

It was the first good night's sleep Ron had ever enjoyed at Camp. After a hearty meal and getting to know his new roommate, Ron and Rufus had settled in and slept the entire night. For all of his misgivings, Camp Gottagrin was turning out to be a positive experience. The campers were friendly, there weren't bugs everywhere, the other campers were friendly, and above all else it was peaceful–

"IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP! COME ON, LET'S GO! RISE AND SHINE!" Mabel boomed as sje kicked open the door to his and Dipper's room, banging a frying pan with a spoon. "WE GOTTA GET MOVING!"

Ron, screaming, fell off the top bunk. Rufus, nearly taken with him, groggily sat up near Ron's pillow and stared at the already dressed and pressed Mabel.

"Mabel…" Dipper, only lightly stirred by the racket, sat up and stared at his sister. "You could've just knocked."

"The only knocking winners do… is out!" Mabel hit the pan like she was officiating a boxing match for emphasis. "So get up, boys, the day's not gonna square up to itself!"

Dipper looked down at Ron, who was still dazed after falling out of bed. "I don't think he's waking up anytime soon."

"Nonsense," Mabel looked out into the hallway. "Waddles! Get in here!"

Dipper and Rufus both watched as a cute, chubby pink pig with a darker pink spot on his left eye trotted into the room and began licking Ron's face.

With a grunt, Ron began to regain consciousness. "Whuh… why am I on the floor…?" He woke up to his face being licked by a young pig. "AHHH! PIG!" He yelled as he sat upright. Stopping, he stared at Waddles. "Wait, a pig?"

He looked at Dipper, who gestured to Mabel's porcine pet. "Ron, meet Waddles."

"He's mah ba~by." Mabel sang with a mother's pride.

Ron looked up at Mabel, who was in her Cheerleading uniform and looking even more sparkly than when he first saw her. "Why are we up so early and why do you look perfect already?"

He pointed at Waddles. "And why a pig?!"

"Like me, Waddles is perfect, to answer the most important question." Mabel first explained. "As for why you need to get moving? Cheer Camp Kickoff is right after breakfast and everyone who is going to be on stage has to get up, get breakfast, and get ready to perform." She pointed the wooden spoon at him. "Which means YOU have to get your butt moving, Mister Man. The Mascot Showcase is happening right after the Highlander's routine, and everyone's gonna want to see the Mad Dog.

Ron scrambled to his feet, surprised. "Wait, hold on, no one told me I'd be doing my mascot performance!"

"Relax, it's just a showcase!" Mabel patted him on the back really hard. "You're just gonna go up with the rest of the Mascots and when you're introduced, do your Mad Dog howl and show them what School Spirit means! You'll kill it!"

With that she headed down the hall. "Now get ready to go!"

Waddles all but galloped after her, the pudgy little guy being surprisingly fast on his tiny hooves.

Recovering from the back slap, Ron watched Mabel and Waddles leave. "Showing up to Cheer Camp with a pig. Where does she get her confidence from?"

"In her defense, Waddles is super popular with girls," Dipper revealed.

Sure enough, a chorus of teenaged girls fawning over Waddles filled the air before the front door of the cottage swung closed.

"Wow, that's some pig," Ron said.

Rufus folded his arms and let out a harumph of mock jealousy. His naked mole rat expression returned to full brightness as Ron reached for and picked him up.

"So, what are our plans for Clown Camp?" He asked Dipper as Rufus scrambled up his arm to his shoulder.

Dipper looked out the window and across the lake at distant Clown Camp. "I'm going to spend all day converting this spot into my Clown Camp surveillance center. Since I'm a plus one, it's not like I'm attending any of the workshops or anything. After the lights go out tonight, I'm going to actually go out and set the cameras up."

Ron grabbed up the duffel bag containing his complete Mad Dog costume and the two walked downstairs to leave the cottage. "Hold on, you're not seriously going into those woods at night on your own, are you?"

"It's not the scariest thing I've ever done at night," Dipper assured him.

"Yeah, but we don't know what kind of Clowns we're dealing with yet. So, count me in on setting up those cameras with you."

"Thanks, man. It's nice to have other people along for an adventure." Dipper replied after they stepped outside.

"What kind of adventure?"

Both young man looked to their right at a tall, lanky, dark-skinned Thai girl wearing the gray and purple uniform the St. James High School students wore as well as white and yellow high-top sneakers. She had bushy, auburn-colored hair pulled down into a low bunch, and eyes that matched her hair in color.

"Because I'm a plus one, and I am already done with this camp," she said.

Ron and Dipper looked at each other, then back at her.

"How do you feel about clowns?" Dipper asked.

The girl raised an eyebrow, stole a glance towards Clown Camp, and asked in turn. "… Why?"

Ron answered. "We think that Clown Camp is suspicious so we're going to set up cameras to make sure they're not up to anything evil."

Now the girl was invested. "How is Clown Camp suspicious?"

She looked again towards Clown Camp.

"Well, who goes to Clown Camp?" Dipper asked.

Ron clarified the question further. "Who would admit to going to Clown Camp?"

The girl's eyes grew wide, as if her mind had been opened to the secrets of the universe. "Oh my gosh." She looked over at the Camp across the lake again. "What's going on over there?!"

"Exactly!" Dipper shouted, vindicated.

The girl nodded. "Okay, I'm in."

In spite of her reaction, Ron was still surprised that she'd be onboard. "Really?"

"I mean, either Clown Camp is actually evil, you're just really, really weird, or you're smoking something quality. Either way, that's better than dealing with cheerleaders all week."

At that moment, a very annoyed-looking Bonnie marched out of the cottage and shouldered past the girl, headed for the center of camp. She didn't even look at the girl, much less at Ron and Dipper as she strode with a purpose.

The girl pointed after Bonnie. "I don't even know who that was; she just barged into my cottage and spent most of the night being a total bitch." She held up her hand like she was about to strike someone with the knife edge of it. "I almost throat-chopped her."

Ron felt nothing but sympathy for her. "Well, welcome to the team. I'm Ron Stoppable."

She did a double take. "Wait, like Kim Possible's sidekick Ron Stoppable?"

It was really nice being recognized for his work. "Yeah."

Dipper stepped up, extending his hand. "And I'm Dipper Pines."

Taking his hand, the girl shook it. "I'm Anne Boonchuy. So… what are you smoking?"

"Sorry, no drugs," Dipper replied, "We're just really, really weird."

Still shaking his hand, Anne looked at both Ron and Dipper, then shrugged her shoulders. "I can work with weird."

@@@@@

The Camp Kickoff Ceremony was nothing short of spectacular, as the national championship winning Piedmont Highlanders Cheer Squad took to the stage to commence the camp with their performance. To Queen's bombastic anthem "Princes of the Universe" the coed squad was as electrifying as the Quickening, its flyers soaring ten, fifteen feet off the ground, twirling and spinning before landing safely and precisely in the arms of their bases.

They attacked the crowd like the ferocious warriors described in the lyrics, getting the entire audience in on the song within the first verse as lightning and shooting stars provided by the stage's advanced projectors lashed across the stage. When the music was over and the mist from fog machines cleared–everyone in the audience knew why Mabel Pines was the champion of her craft, as she alone held aloft one of her squad's flyers above her head in her open palm like a statue holding aloft a sword to challenge the sky.

"Wow…" An awestruck Jessica murmured. "… It gets better every time I see it."

Liz nodded slowly, as Mabel let down her squadmate and the audience cheered. "They really are the rulers of us all."

Bonnie was in no good mood. In fact she looked downright agitated as she watched their routine, scoffed. "That's what I'm talking about. She spent like half of that routine just throwing people into the air like they were batons. If she slipped up even once, she'd be so toast."

Tara thought it was too early for this. "But she didn't slip up, because she's focused on being there for her team rather than being above them."

Bonnie did a double-take at Tara, as Kim agreed. "That's right, they're a squad and they're cheering like one. Take notes, girls, because the next six days are going to be all about how we can up our game and take on the cheer gods."

The brunette cheerleader turned her ire from Tara to the source of it. "Not all of us need to up our game. Some just need to stop cheering like they copied their entire routine from Bring It On."

It was too early for Kim, too, as she took the bait and glowered at Bonnie. "And some of us need to remember that cheerleading requires a squad."

Bonnie perked up and smirked when she got the rise she wanted, and she immediately capitalized. "It also requires a Captain–one preferably from the 2010s, not the 1990s."

Kim decided she wasn't going to get into it with her this early. "I'm gonna check up on Ron before the Mascot Showcase starts."

Marcella called after her. "Like he needs any encouragement! We may be regional material, but he's national champion level, you know?"

Tara had something of an entranced smile as she nodded in agreement, and the other cheerleaders, save Bonnie, giggled at her reaction. Feeling a bit better to end it on a positive note, Kim nodded and headed down the steps from the nosebleed section of the amphitheater.

On stage, the Director and Host of the Cheer Camp was on the stage as the Piedmont Highlanders repositioned themselves at her flanks and rolled their purple and white pom poms hand over hand. "Let's hear it for our National Champions, the Piedmont Highlanders, for kicking off our Cheer Camp!"

After a round of applause, the host continued as Mabel joined her side carrying a long brown case. "We have a lot to cover this week and plenty of workshops for all of you covering routines, individual stunts, leadership, choreography, and much, much more! Above all, though, we want you to have fun and show what it means to have that Cheerleader Spirit! That's why, in addition to various awards that will be handed out to our attending squads at the end of the camp, we will be handing out to the Cheerleader with the most super-duper attitude and mad cheer skills…"

Mabel opened the case, and the host produced a red, white, and blue baton with a golden star at the end of it. "… The NCA All-Star Spirit Stick!"

As the other cheerleaders applauded, Bonnie stuck her nose up. "They might as well give it to me now."

Bonnie's self-aggrandizing was cut short by Sasha calling out as she walked up to the pack of Mad Dogs. "That's not the most super-duper attitude to have, there, Rockwaller."

The smug look on Bonnie's face disappeared as she turned on the SJHS Sharks' Captain. "Oh, yeah, I've got some for you, too!"

"Oh?" Sasha asked.

Standing up, Bonnie walked up to her. "I almost got chewed out by the camp counselors because you didn't tell anyone else you were trading bunks with me! I literally walked in on that loser friend of yours and she freaked out!"

Sasha was suddenly less enthused. "I'm sorry, what did you just say about my bestie?"

"Don't try to change the subject; you set me up!" Bonnie argued back.

The Mad Dog Cheerleaders watched in silence, with other schools' cheerleaders turning to look, as Sasha replied. "I set you up with one of the best cribs on the campground, try not to be such a baby about it."

Her expression darkened as she stepped up to Bonnie. "And show a little more respect to the people I brought here to share my success with."

"How about you show me some respect, first?!" Bonnie snapped back while leaning in close to demonstrate she would not be intimidated.

"Setting aside that I've already been generous to you–respect is earned, not given. If you want to go back into Cabin 9 with Kim, I will gladly take back my lakeside view and queen-sized bed."

The other Mad Dog cheerleaders looked at Bonnie with shock and disgust.

Hope was especially pissed off. "Girl, are you serious? You're sleeping in a champion's cottage and acting like this?!"

The harsh reaction, and the attention of other cheerleaders besides her own snatched the wind out of Bonnie's sails. "Hold on–"

Tara then straight up said it. "Bonnie, sit down and shut up. You're making us look bad!"

Bonnie's eyes darted at the people now staring at her, then back to Sasha's ruthlessly smirking face–that just as quickly shifted more neutral. "I won't kick you out of the cottage, but if you want to stay there, and earn that Spirit Stick? Put some more super-duper in that attitude."

Her defeat came without another word, and the brunette cheerleader dropped back down to sit on the bench. She could hear the ripple of chuckles and scandalous whispers among the other cheerleaders–but more important than that were the harsh looks her own teammates shot her before they focused their attention back on the stage.

Glancing out the corner of her eye, Bonnie watched Sasha turn and cast an impish look over her shoulder at her, before rejoining her own squad right next to the Mad Dogs.

Back stage, as the Host explained the various events that would go on in more detail before the mascots went out, Ron was pulling on his complete Mad Dog mascot costume while Anne texted on her smart phone and Dipper and Mabel spoke nearby.

"How was that, Sir Dipping Sauce?" Mabel asked as she bounced up to him.

"You did great; this routine was up five percent over the last time. Though you might want to talk to Angelica about her timing. She was about a half-second off during the second verse and didn't pick it back up."

The only-slightly older Pines Twin gasped in alarm. "Oh no! I'll go talk to her right now. Thanks broseidon!"

As she bolted off, Dipper called after her. "Don't forget to go over what she did right! Her first verse was amazing, and her hair is perfect!"

He turned to Ron, who was struggling with his costume. "Need help with that?"

"No, I got it," Ron assured him, even when it looked like he was having a time of it.

Anne looked up from her phone at Dipper. "So, you help your sister out a lot with this stuff, huh?"

Dipper confirmed it. "Well, I just watch her routines and track what goes right and what doesn't. Then I compile my findings and hand them off to her."

That sounded reasonable to her. "So that's why the Highlanders are so good…"

"No, that's all her using her tremendous powers of infinite energy and unstoppable charisma for good. I just record everything for review."

Ron looked up from his struggles with his full costume. "You're being too modest; if our squad reviewed their routines more, we'd probably be a lot better than we are now."

Dipper let out a short laugh. "It's hard to imagine Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable being a part of something mid."

"We're not mid, the squad just…" Ron trailed off as Kim and Bonnie's dynamic intruded on his reassurance. "… Has a lot of clashing personalities."

Anne turned from Dipper to Ron. "Yeah, how can you stand having that one girl, Bonnie? My friend Sasha leads the Sharks and didn't tolerate that kind of crap for a second when she made captain. She had all the stuck up chicks out by the end of the month and they've been winning since."

Ron shrugged his shoulders. "I'm gonna just chalk it up to Kim just being too nice…" He tried reaching for and grabbing the zipper again. "… And I guess Bonnie never doing anything bad enough to make Kim want to throw her off the squad."

"Are you sure? Because I really want to throat-chop her."

Dipper put forth a theory. "Well, if you spend your free time fighting supervillains, would you sweat the small stuff?"

After letting out a contemplative hum, Anne conceded. "Yeah, good point."

While they were on the subject of Supervillains, Gil walked up to Ron and patted him on the back. "Hey, Ronnie." He reached for the zipper. "Is your zipper stuck, dude?"

Jumping, Ron turned and faced him. "Hey, can you not come near me?!"

Gil recoiled. "Whoa, I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. Also, you look like you were having trouble with your costume."

"I said, I got it!" Ron sassed back. "How about being helpful by not reminding me of everything I hate about camp?"

Dipper stepped up, the taller young man immediately leveraging his height to stare Gil down. "Yeah, Lake Gottagrin is big enough for the two of you–be somewhere he isn't."

Anne, who was up to speed on the whole Gil situation, joined him. While not as tall as Dipper, she easily cleared Gil's height with her own. "Yeah, lil' man, you'd better respect his personal space…" She narrowed her eyes. "Before I disrespect yours."

Ron looked at Anne. "Whoa, maybe tone down the hostile energy there."

"He's right," Kim said as she took the back of Ron's costume, and zipped it up before looking over his shoulder at Gil. "There's enough drama at Cheer Camp."

Surprised that he'd been ganged up on so quickly, Gil's expression hardened and he turned and walked away. "Tch… fine, whatever. I'm just trying to be nice…"

Kim watched him go like a hawk. "Hey, Ron? If he comes near you at all and I'm not around? Let me know."

Ron protested. "Aw, Kim, you know I can't let this ruin Cheer Camp for you." He stepped over to Dipper and Anne, putting his hands on their shoulders. "Besides, I got these two to watch my back."

Her attention turning to Anne, Kim wondered where she came from. "… Uh, okay?"

Anne took a deep breath and tried not to freak out in the presence of a world-renowned celebrity. "Hi Kim, I'm Anne, and I am a big fan."

She'd already been doing it so much since she got here, Kim took the praise on autopilot. "It's nice to meet you. And thanks for watching out for Ron. I'm going to be way busy with Captain stuff so it's nice to know you and Dipper are on his side."

Suddenly Shark Kid nearly bowled Ron and both his new allies over, as they caught Anne in an embrace. Smiling, Anne patted Shark Kid atop their head. "Whoa! Hahaha… Shark Kid's gonna look out for him, too."

Kim beamed at Shark Kid's enthusiasm and cutely wagging tail. "You too, Shark Kid, I really appreciate it."

Shark Kid then picked up Ron's mask and offered it to him, as Rufus made his way up out of the mad dog suit and escaped onto Dipper's shoulder. Realizing that things were going down, he took the helmet. "Hey, thanks SK." He turned to Kim. "You enjoy Camp, too, even if it's a bunch of Captain stuff."

Kim patted him on the shoulder as Ron affixed his helmet atop his head. Ron. "Now get going, Mad Dog, your audience awaits your frothiness."

"You got it!" With Shark Kid in tow, Ron stalked towards where the other mascots waited to go on stage, his growling and barking prompting cheers to rise among his peers.

Rufus watched him go, so proud of his buddy, before he noticed Anne staring at him with big wide eyes filled with awe.

"Wow, Rufus, you're so cute!" She quickly said.

As Anne fawned over the naked mole rat, who happily jumped into her hands to bask in her adoration, Dipper addressed Kim. "That Gil kid is trying too hard to get access to Ron."

"Yeah, he is," Kim replied. "I'm gong to keep an eye on him and run interference how I can. Ron really doesn't need this."

Dipper agreed. "You're a good friend."

"And you're just…" She stared at Dipper for a second, before looking away. "Way too nice?" She turned and flashed him a smile. "Anyway, I'm gonna go watch the showcase, thanks!"

She quickly heeded over to the edge of the stage and the mascots lining up in preparation for heading out on stage. Watching her go, Dipper turned to Anne.

"Did she just…?"

Anne looked from Dipper to Kim and then back again. "Man, I am so jealous."

@@@@@​

With a busy first day out of the way and the sun going down, Kim was on her way with a purpose to Camp Gottagrin's largest building–the Dining and Recreation hall.

The largest building at the camp site was broken into four main sections. Two that were directly connected were the actual dining area, consisting of rows of tables where campers could sit down and eat food collected from the Buffet-style serving tables, and the recreational area that featured pool tables, a handful of arcade tables, and video games set up in the corners. One of the separated sections was the kitchen, where numerous cooks both human and artificial prepared meals at a high pace and volume to meet the needs of hundreds of campers.

The other separated second was the staff dining room, which was considerably more upscale and featured even its own hibachi grill setup. In this room, the head chaperones for the Cheer Camp were all gathered at the long, white-clothed table serving the finest in Japanese cuisine cooked off the grill by a beautiful dark-haired Japanese American woman with piercing green eyes with a hawk-like gaze.

The cook was hard and swiftly at work preparing food for everyone in the room–aided by several wait staff who'd quickly pick up dishes and hand them out to the chaperone guests. There were awed gasps and brief periods of applause as her almost glowing knives parted ingredients like she was cutting through air.

At the head of the table, Sycorax's Executive manager of their Environmental Impact Mitigation, Travis Malone was explaining what was happening to Mr. Barkin.

"Omakase; it basically means 'leave it to the chef.' You're putting your dining experience in the hands of a chef with years of Michelin Star level experience."

Mr. Barkin was unimpressed. "I've served in Japan and spent five years stationed around the Bay Area, I know a thing or two about Japanese cuisine."

Travis was a bit taken aback by the stern educator's dismissal of his attempt at flexing. "Is everything okay, Mr. Barkin?"

He gestured to him. "Ever since we sat down, you've been particularly unhappy… or at least I think. It's really hard to tell, with you Desert Storm Vets."

"I never served in Desert Storm," Barkin replied. "Only combat I saw was in Somalia. The Battle of Mogadishu, 1993."

Travis was taken aback by that. "Oh…" His eyes grew a bit larger as he attached some historical recollection of that battle. "Oh, m-my apologies."

"To answer your question, I'm afraid not, Mr. Malone. I've got more than a little concern about a certain individual attending the camp and I want an explanation for it."

Travis turned his full attention. "Is there someone causing problems for you?"

"Causing problems? No. being a problem? We'll see." Barkin pointed a finger at Travis. "Moss, Gilbert, the mascot for Hidden Lake High. Why were we not informed he'd be attending when we were invited?"

Mr. Malone tried to put a face to the name. "Gilbert…?"

As he asked the name aloud, the doors opened and Kim walked in. Rightly assuming what the conversation was about just by how Mr. Barkin was scowling at the Silicon Valley Manbun Aficionado, Kim elaborated.

"He goes by Gil? I'm pretty sure you're familiar with his name."

Mr. Barkin turned to Kim. "Possible, this is a staff only area."

Travis lit with recognition. "Oh, Gil!"

"Yes, Gil," Kim reiterated.

Travis raised his hands in a placating gesture. "I'm sorry if his presence causes discomfort, but rest assured–Sycorax has done a great deal to decontaminate him and help him rehabilitate into society."

"Even if he's been rehabilitated, which I don't doubt, trying to put him and Ron in the same cabin? So not cool."

Mr. Barkin did a double-take. "You tried to force one of my students into a cabin with someone who attempted to murder him?"

Travis vehemently protested that. "Whoa, hold on! Gil was not in his right mind when he did those things, and we've proven as a fact, legally, that he is physically and mentally stable as well as a functioning member of society who is safe to be around other people."

Kim folded her arms. "And why weren't any of us told about this?"

Travis sighed. "Goodness' sake, man… I'm going to say some strong things to the public relations department about this. First, let me start by apologizing… it was not supposed to go down like this. Next, let me explain."

Finished cooking and plating up another serving, the chef looked out the corner of her eyes at Kim and held her gaze on the young woman for a moment.

"This is the first season where Lake Gottagrin is open to the public, since Sycorax finished the cleanup of the lake shoreline. When the NCA suddenly came to us to host the All Star Camp, we had to mark it in a big way–and one of the geniuses in marketing? Man, they suggested that Gil coming here, spending time at the camp, and burying some hatchets would be a good look."

As Travis explained himself, Kim noticed the chef staring and met her gaze. With a bit of confusion, Kim silently conveyed if there was a reason she was being so intently stared at. The woman's unspoken response was one of recognition before shifting to a cordial nod of acknowledgement.

Kim respectfully nodded back, before she returned her attention to Travis palming his face. "I guess whoever that wizard was left you guys out of the loop and, again…" He brought his head up to address both Kim and Mr. Barkin. "I am so sorry if Gil being here has been a giant scare for all of you."

Mr. Barkin's permanent scowl hardened into visible skepticism as he rendered his verdict. "Well, in the future make sure everyone is on the same page. And unless anyone consents to it, keep Gil away from my cheerleaders."

"And mascot," Kim chimed in.

"And mascot!" Barkin added.

Travis nodded quickly in surrender to the two. "You need not say more. I'll make sure it's sorted out–you won't see Gil again until the end of the week."

"Good," Barkin and Kim said in unison. The two looked and smiled to one another in mutual acknowledgement, before Barkin pointed to the door. "Possible! Staff only, out!"

"Yes, sir!" Kim quickly said as she ducked out.

Mr. Barkin turned his attention back to Travis. Regarding him with a cold, disapproving look.

"So…" Travis said, a bit awkwardly. "Mogadishu?"

"It was terrible, I don't like to talk about it," Barkin said, hoping to make things a little more awkward for the office worker.

"You know… when I was in the Air Force, I was deployed to Shanghai for Operation Reclaiming Jade."

And suddenly Mr. Barkin was a lot more cordial. "Oh, a fellow veteran! I couldn't tell because of all that fancy tech startup attitude."

"Are you kidding? Most flyboys coming off their commission go straight into tech."

As the doors closed behind her and she made a bee-line for the exit of the dining hall, Kim brought her hand up to her ear and turned off the speaker mute of the bluetooth earpiece her hair hid. "Wade, did you hear that?"

Wade yawned and replied. "All I heard was a whole lot of corporate kowtowing. He's definitely good at kissing butt to avoid liability."

Kim agreed. "He covered Sycorax's end, but everything else? Still sketch."

"I'll start digging deeper," Wade said, "See what I find out on my end. What about you?"

"I'm going to talk to Gil and see if there's something I can pick up from him. Call me as soon as you hit anything we need to know."

"What about Ron, should I call and tell him to meet you?"

Kim's brow furrowed. "Ron's been through enough coming to Lake Wannaweep. I'm going to deal with the Gil sitch so he won't have to."

From the sound of it, Wade was grateful. "I think that's the right idea. Ron's stories about camping were part of why I was an agoraphobe for a while."

"Aren't you still an agoraphobe?"

"No, I'm just an antisocial shut-in. When I have to go outside, I hate it instead of fear it."

Kim let out a closed-mouthed giggle at Wade's reply. "But, for real, I'm going to make sure Ron has a good time, so I'll be flying solo for this one."

"Solo? You mean you'll be flying with me watching your six."

That brought a grateful smile to Kim's lips. "Thanks, Wade."

Ending the call, Kim reached her cabin and all but barged in. She found Sasha sitting at the vanity beside their bed, brushing her hair out while she watched a makeup tutorial on her phone. Spotting Kim in the vanity mirror, Sasha looked back.

"Hey Roomie," she greeted as Kim shut the door behind her and went straight for her duffel bag. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Kim replied as she pulled up her neatly folded up mission attire–a simple but durable black turtleneck and green cargo pants. Seeing the clothes and the black hiking shoes added to the pile, Sasha raised her right eyebrow in curiosity.

"You sure? Because it kinda looks like you got plans tonight."

Kim stopped, and then gave Sasha a pointed look. "What if I do?"

With a smile, Sasha shrugged her shoulders. "Then nobody heard it from me."

Smiling back, Kim pulled from the duffel bag a utility box and a durable plastic case. She opened it, revealing one of her favorite pieces of equipment: her grappling hook gun.

Tonight could be a busy night, and she wanted to be prepared.

= - = Part 1-4 = - =​

This entire story arc was structured very differently when I first began writing it. But now it's more centered and flows better. Next time: Clowns.

 

[TricksterPriest]

It was the first good night's sleep Ron had ever enjoyed at Camp. After a hearty meal and getting to know his new roommate, Ron and Rufus had settled in and slept the entire night. For all of his misgivings, Camp Gottagrin was turning out to be a positive experience. The campers were friendly, there weren't bugs everywhere, the other campers were friendly, and above all else it was peaceful–

"IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP! COME ON, LET'S GO! RISE AND SHINE!" Mabel boomed as sje kicked open the door to his and Dipper's room, banging a frying pan with a spoon. "WE GOTTA GET MOVING!"

Ron, screaming, fell off the top bunk. Rufus, nearly taken with him, groggily sat up near Ron's pillow and stared at the already dressed and pressed Mabel.

"Mabel…" Dipper, only lightly stirred by the racket, sat up and stared at his sister. "You could've just knocked."

"The only knocking winners do… is out!" Mabel hit the pan like she was officiating a boxing match for emphasis. "So get up, boys, the day's not gonna square up to itself!"

Dipper looked down at Ron, who was still dazed after falling out of bed. "I don't think he's waking up anytime soon."

"Nonsense," Mabel looked out into the hallway. "Waddles! Get in here!"

Dipper and Rufus both watched as a cute, chubby pink pig with a darker pink spot on his left eye trotted into the room and began licking Ron's face.

With a grunt, Ron began to regain consciousness. "Whuh… why am I on the floor…?" He woke up to his face being licked by a young pig. "AHHH! PIG!" He yelled as he sat upright. Stopping, he stared at Waddles. "Wait, a pig?"

Click to shrink...

CC: Ugh, morning people.

Trollouche: It's a summer camp, what do you expect?

CC: For people to wake up at a reasonable hour.

Trollouche: Careful dear, you're showing your age. :3

CC: I will couch you. -_-

Milly: Look at that pig! Look how cute he is!!

"He's mah ba~by." Mabel sang with a mother's pride.

Ron looked up at Mabel, who was in her Cheerleading uniform and looking even more sparkly than when he first saw her. "Why are we up so early and why do you look perfect already?"

He pointed at Waddles. "And why a pig?!"

"Like me, Waddles is perfect, to answer the most important question." Mabel first explained. "As for why you need to get moving? Cheer Camp Kickoff is right after breakfast and everyone who is going to be on stage has to get up, get breakfast, and get ready to perform." She pointed the wooden spoon at him. "Which means YOU have to get your butt moving, Mister Man. The Mascot Showcase is happening right after the Highlander's routine, and everyone's gonna want to see the Mad Dog.

Ron scrambled to his feet, surprised. "Wait, hold on, no one told me I'd be doing my mascot performance!"

"Relax, it's just a showcase!" Mabel patted him on the back really hard. "You're just gonna go up with the rest of the Mascots and when you're introduced, do your Mad Dog howl and show them what School Spirit means! You'll kill it!"

With that she headed down the hall. "Now get ready to go!"

Waddles all but galloped after her, the pudgy little guy being surprisingly fast on his tiny hooves.

Recovering from the back slap, Ron watched Mabel and Waddles leave. "Showing up to Cheer Camp with a pig. Where does she get her confidence from?"

"In her defense, Waddles is super popular with girls," Dipper revealed.

Sure enough, a chorus of teenaged girls fawning over Waddles filled the air before the front door of the cottage swung closed.

"Wow, that's some pig," Ron said.

Rufus folded his arms and let out a harumph of mock jealousy. His naked mole rat expression returned to full brightness as Ron reached for and picked him up.

"So, what are our plans for Clown Camp?" He asked Dipper as Rufus scrambled up his arm to his shoulder.

Dipper looked out the window and across the lake at distant Clown Camp. "I'm going to spend all day converting this spot into my Clown Camp surveillance center. Since I'm a plus one, it's not like I'm attending any of the workshops or anything. After the lights go out tonight, I'm going to actually go out and set the cameras up."

Ron grabbed up the duffel bag containing his complete Mad Dog costume and the two walked downstairs to leave the cottage. "Hold on, you're not seriously going into those woods at night on your own, are you?"

"It's not the scariest thing I've ever done at night," Dipper assured him.

"Yeah, but we don't know what kind of Clowns we're dealing with yet. So, count me in on setting up those cameras with you."

Click to shrink...

Rivalz: I've seen worse ideas for pets.

CC: Cheer camp?? What has author-kun dragged us into now? *cringes*

Milly: *wags her finger* That's no way to talk about an excellent story just starting out.

Milly: And I thought you'd like being a cheerleader.

CC: Being peppy, having to do repetitive cheers and hold a sunny disposition.

CC: What part of any of this do you think applies to me?

Milly: *thinks*

Milly: *holds up the outfit* Weeeeeell, you'd look really cute in the outfit. And what if you sing?

Milly: How is this different than the ear splitting screaming Lulu uses as battle music, just on a smaller scale? And you're a better singer to boot.

CC: You think you can convince me to do this with shallow arguments like that?

CC: .... *is wearing the outfit and is miked up* Oui, vous pouvez. (Yes, you can.)

Nunnally: Waddles is adorable.

Trollouche: Ah yes, clowns. The unsung evil of our times.

Milly: Wait wait. What's wrong with clowns?

Trollouche: Do you want a list? Or a powerpoint presentation? I have both.

Milly: No, bad Lulu. No waging war against clowns.

"What kind of adventure?"

Both young man looked to their right at a tall, lanky, dark-skinned Thai girl wearing the gray and purple uniform the St. James High School students wore as well as white and yellow high-top sneakers. She had bushy, auburn-colored hair pulled down into a low bunch, and eyes that matched her hair in color.

"Because I'm a plus one, and I am already done with this camp," she said.

Ron and Dipper looked at each other, then back at her.

"How do you feel about clowns?" Dipper asked.

The girl raised an eyebrow, stole a glance towards Clown Camp, and asked in turn. "… Why?"

Ron answered. "We think that Clown Camp is suspicious so we're going to set up cameras to make sure they're not up to anything evil."

Now the girl was invested. "How is Clown Camp suspicious?"

She looked again towards Clown Camp.

"Well, who goes to Clown Camp?" Dipper asked.

Ron clarified the question further. "Who would admit to going to Clown Camp?"

The girl's eyes grew wide, as if her mind had been opened to the secrets of the universe. "Oh my gosh." She looked over at the Camp across the lake again. "What's going on over there?!"

"Exactly!" Dipper shouted, vindicated.

The girl nodded. "Okay, I'm in."

In spite of her reaction, Ron was still surprised that she'd be onboard. "Really?"

"I mean, either Clown Camp is actually evil, you're just really, really weird, or you're smoking something quality. Either way, that's better than dealing with cheerleaders all week."

Click to shrink...

Kallen: You know what, I gotta agree with her priorities. Most cheerleaders are absolute cunts.

Milly: And not the fun kind.

Kallen: Shut up.

Trollouche: See? She gets it. I wouldn't even have to break out the spreadsheets.

Trollouche: I want to say it's all three possibilities.

CC: You would.

At that moment, a very annoyed-looking Bonnie marched out of the cottage and shouldered past the girl, headed for the center of camp. She didn't even look at the girl, much less at Ron and Dipper as she strode with a purpose.

The girl pointed after Bonnie. "I don't even know who that was; she just barged into my cottage and spent most of the night being a total bitch." She held up her hand like she was about to strike someone with the knife edge of it. "I almost throat-chopped her."

Ron felt nothing but sympathy for her. "Well, welcome to the team. I'm Ron Stoppable."

She did a double take. "Wait, like Kim Possible's sidekick Ron Stoppable?"

It was really nice being recognized for his work. "Yeah."

Dipper stepped up, extending his hand. "And I'm Dipper Pines."

Taking his hand, the girl shook it. "I'm Anne Boonchuy. So… what are you smoking?"

"Sorry, no drugs," Dipper replied, "We're just really, really weird."

Still shaking his hand, Anne looked at both Ron and Dipper, then shrugged her shoulders. "I can work with weird."

Click to shrink...

Suzaku: That's not very nice.

Milly: Suzaku, my friend, lover, and he of the oh so kissable lips and adorable puppy disposition: Don't get in the middle of a cat fight. Just don't.

Suzaku: But they're not-

Milly: Trust my woman's intuition. That is not a battlefield for men. Some women just do not get along with others.

Trollouche: No drugs? At a summer camp? I demand a refund!

Kallen: You didn't pay anything.

Kallen: And most summer camps aren't places to get high or get laid.

Trollouche: *gasps* Hollywood has lied to me! DAMN YOU HOLLYWOOD!

The Camp Kickoff Ceremony was nothing short of spectacular, as the national championship winning Piedmont Highlanders Cheer Squad took to the stage to commence the camp with their performance. To Queen's bombastic anthem "Princes of the Universe" the coed squad was as electrifying as the Quickening, its flyers soaring ten, fifteen feet off the ground, twirling and spinning before landing safely and precisely in the arms of their bases.

They attacked the crowd like the ferocious warriors described in the lyrics, getting the entire audience in on the song within the first verse as lightning and shooting stars provided by the stage's advanced projectors lashed across the stage. When the music was over and the mist from fog machines cleared–everyone in the audience knew why Mabel Pines was the champion of her craft, as she alone held aloft one of her squad's flyers above her head in her open palm like a statue holding aloft a sword to challenge the sky.

"Wow…" An awestruck Jessica murmured. "… It gets better every time I see it."

Liz nodded slowly, as Mabel let down her squadmate and the audience cheered. "They really are the rulers of us all."

Bonnie was in no good mood. In fact she looked downright agitated as she watched their routine, scoffed. "That's what I'm talking about. She spent like half of that routine just throwing people into the air like they were batons. If she slipped up even once, she'd be so toast."

Tara thought it was too early for this. "But she didn't slip up, because she's focused on being there for her team rather than being above them."

Bonnie did a double-take at Tara, as Kim agreed. "That's right, they're a squad and they're cheering like one. Take notes, girls, because the next six days are going to be all about how we can up our game and take on the cheer gods."

The brunette cheerleader turned her ire from Tara to the source of it. "Not all of us need to up our game. Some just need to stop cheering like they copied their entire routine from Bring It On."

It was too early for Kim, too, as she took the bait and glowered at Bonnie. "And some of us need to remember that cheerleading requires a squad."

Bonnie perked up and smirked when she got the rise she wanted, and she immediately capitalized. "It also requires a Captain–one preferably from the 2010s, not the 1990s."

Kim decided she wasn't going to get into it with her this early. "I'm gonna check up on Ron before the Mascot Showcase starts."

Click to shrink...

Trollouche: Excellent musical choice!

Nunnally: Wow, she's so strong!

Kallen: Coordinated too. One slip would have had somebody breaking an ankle or bones.

Kaguya: Is Bonnie always a bitch like this?

Milly: Signs point to probably. She needs to get laid.

Kaguya: I don't think there's a dick big enough to pull that stick out of her ass. :3

Nunnally: Why is Bring It On bad as a source? I thought that was a good movie.

Trollouche: Too derivative perhaps? I couldn't tell you, I'm not a cheerleader.

Tara had something of an entranced smile as she nodded in agreement, and the other cheerleaders, save Bonnie, giggled at her reaction. Feeling a bit better to end it on a positive note, Kim nodded and headed down the steps from the nosebleed section of the amphitheater.

On stage, the Director and Host of the Cheer Camp was on the stage as the Piedmont Highlanders repositioned themselves at her flanks and rolled their purple and white pom poms hand over hand. "Let's hear it for our National Champions, the Piedmont Highlanders, for kicking off our Cheer Camp!"

After a round of applause, the host continued as Mabel joined her side carrying a long brown case. "We have a lot to cover this week and plenty of workshops for all of you covering routines, individual stunts, leadership, choreography, and much, much more! Above all, though, we want you to have fun and show what it means to have that Cheerleader Spirit! That's why, in addition to various awards that will be handed out to our attending squads at the end of the camp, we will be handing out to the Cheerleader with the most super-duper attitude and mad cheer skills…"

Mabel opened the case, and the host produced a red, white, and blue baton with a golden star at the end of it. "… The NCA All-Star Spirit Stick!"

As the other cheerleaders applauded, Bonnie stuck her nose up. "They might as well give it to me now."

Bonnie's self-aggrandizing was cut short by Sasha calling out as she walked up to the pack of Mad Dogs. "That's not the most super-duper attitude to have, there, Rockwaller."

The smug look on Bonnie's face disappeared as she turned on the SJHS Sharks' Captain. "Oh, yeah, I've got some for you, too!"

"Oh?" Sasha asked.

Standing up, Bonnie walked up to her. "I almost got chewed out by the camp counselors because you didn't tell anyone else you were trading bunks with me! I literally walked in on that loser friend of yours and she freaked out!"

Sasha was suddenly less enthused. "I'm sorry, what did you just say about my bestie?"

"Don't try to change the subject; you set me up!" Bonnie argued back.

The Mad Dog Cheerleaders watched in silence, with other schools' cheerleaders turning to look, as Sasha replied. "I set you up with one of the best cribs on the campground, try not to be such a baby about it."

Click to shrink...

Kallen: Wait, there's a national cheerleader association?

Leloucia: *googles* Yep, established 1948.

Milly: Suzaku, remember when I said some girls just don't get along? Case in point.

Suzaku: It's not nice to badmouth people's friend in an argument.

"How about you show me some respect, first?!" Bonnie snapped back while leaning in close to demonstrate she would not be intimidated.

"Setting aside that I've already been generous to you–respect is earned, not given. If you want to go back into Cabin 9 with Kim, I will gladly take back my lakeside view and queen-sized bed."

The other Mad Dog cheerleaders looked at Bonnie with shock and disgust.

Hope was especially pissed off. "Girl, are you serious? You're sleeping in a champion's cottage and acting like this?!"

The harsh reaction, and the attention of other cheerleaders besides her own snatched the wind out of Bonnie's sails. "Hold on–"

Tara then straight up said it. "Bonnie, sit down and shut up. You're making us look bad!"

Bonnie's eyes darted at the people now staring at her, then back to Sasha's ruthlessly smirking face–that just as quickly shifted more neutral. "I won't kick you out of the cottage, but if you want to stay there, and earn that Spirit Stick? Put some more super-duper in that attitude."

Her defeat came without another word, and the brunette cheerleader dropped back down to sit on the bench. She could hear the ripple of chuckles and scandalous whispers among the other cheerleaders–but more important than that were the harsh looks her own teammates shot her before they focused their attention back on the stage.

Glancing out the corner of her eye, Bonnie watched Sasha turn and cast an impish look over her shoulder at her, before rejoining her own squad right next to the Mad Dogs.

Back stage, as the Host explained the various events that would go on in more detail before the mascots went out, Ron was pulling on his complete Mad Dog mascot costume while Anne texted on her smart phone and Dipper and Mabel spoke nearby.

"How was that, Sir Dipping Sauce?" Mabel asked as she bounced up to him.

"You did great; this routine was up five percent over the last time. Though you might want to talk to Angelica about her timing. She was about a half-second off during the second verse and didn't pick it back up."

Click to shrink...

Nunnally: I don't like her, she's a bully.

Alice: Is it just me, or is she also kinda dumb? She knows Kim could break her in half, right?

Nunnally: Kim is too nice a person to do that. Sasha on the other hand.... There's something about her that I don't like either. But I can't quite put my finger on what it is.

Trollouche: Aha, that's what he's here for. Efficiency and routine analysis.

As she bolted off, Dipper called after her. "Don't forget to go over what she did right! Her first verse was amazing, and her hair is perfect!"

He turned to Ron, who was struggling with his costume. "Need help with that?"

"No, I got it," Ron assured him, even when it looked like he was having a time of it.

Anne looked up from her phone at Dipper. "So, you help your sister out a lot with this stuff, huh?"

Dipper confirmed it. "Well, I just watch her routines and track what goes right and what doesn't. Then I compile my findings and hand them off to her."

That sounded reasonable to her. "So that's why the Highlanders are so good…"

"No, that's all her using her tremendous powers of infinite energy and unstoppable charisma for good. I just record everything for review."

Ron looked up from his struggles with his full costume. "You're being too modest; if our squad reviewed their routines more, we'd probably be a lot better than we are now."

Dipper let out a short laugh. "It's hard to imagine Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable being a part of something mid."

"We're not mid, the squad just…" Ron trailed off as Kim and Bonnie's dynamic intruded on his reassurance. "… Has a lot of clashing personalities."

Anne turned from Dipper to Ron. "Yeah, how can you stand having that one girl, Bonnie? My friend Sasha leads the Sharks and didn't tolerate that kind of crap for a second when she made captain. She had all the stuck up chicks out by the end of the month and they've been winning since."

Ron shrugged his shoulders. "I'm gonna just chalk it up to Kim just being too nice…" He tried reaching for and grabbing the zipper again. "… And I guess Bonnie never doing anything bad enough to make Kim want to throw her off the squad."

"Are you sure? Because I really want to throat-chop her."

Dipper put forth a theory. "Well, if you spend your free time fighting supervillains, would you sweat the small stuff?"

After letting out a contemplative hum, Anne conceded. "Yeah, good point."

Click to shrink...

CC: Someone knows how to be cool.

Trollouche: Analytics goes into everything, data is the lifeblood of business and science, it is the guiding star of understanding-

Kallen: Stop waxing philosophical about your logistics and analytics fetish.

Trollouche: Quit harshing my high.

Suzaku: Dealing with life or death situations gives somebody a surprisingly Zen outlook on what's actually important.

While they were on the subject of Supervillains, Gil walked up to Ron and patted him on the back. "Hey, Ronnie." He reached for the zipper. "Is your zipper stuck, dude?"

Jumping, Ron turned and faced him. "Hey, can you not come near me?!"

Gil recoiled. "Whoa, I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. Also, you look like you were having trouble with your costume."

"I said, I got it!" Ron sassed back. "How about being helpful by not reminding me of everything I hate about camp?"

Dipper stepped up, the taller young man immediately leveraging his height to stare Gil down. "Yeah, Lake Gottagrin is big enough for the two of you–be somewhere he isn't."

Anne, who was up to speed on the whole Gil situation, joined him. While not as tall as Dipper, she easily cleared Gil's height with her own. "Yeah, lil' man, you'd better respect his personal space…" She narrowed her eyes. "Before I disrespect yours."

Ron looked at Anne. "Whoa, maybe tone down the hostile energy there."

"He's right," Kim said as she took the back of Ron's costume, and zipped it up before looking over his shoulder at Gil. "There's enough drama at Cheer Camp."

Surprised that he'd been ganged up on so quickly, Gil's expression hardened and he turned and walked away. "Tch… fine, whatever. I'm just trying to be nice…"

Kim watched him go like a hawk. "Hey, Ron? If he comes near you at all and I'm not around? Let me know."

Ron protested. "Aw, Kim, you know I can't let this ruin Cheer Camp for you." He stepped over to Dipper and Anne, putting his hands on their shoulders. "Besides, I got these two to watch my back."

Her attention turning to Anne, Kim wondered where she came from. "… Uh, okay?"

Anne took a deep breath and tried not to freak out in the presence of a world-renowned celebrity. "Hi Kim, I'm Anne, and I am a big fan."

She'd already been doing it so much since she got here, Kim took the praise on autopilot. "It's nice to meet you. And thanks for watching out for Ron. I'm going to be way busy with Captain stuff so it's nice to know you and Dipper are on his side."

Click to shrink...

Milly: On the one hand, there's trying to be helpful. On the other hand, there's knowing when to back off.

Rivalz: Seriously man, you tried to kill him a few times. Annnnnnd you don't seem that apologetic about it.

CC: The bully who bullies has never grown up. How ironic that his stature matches his character.

Kallen: Looks like Kim has a fan. :3

As Anne fawned over the naked mole rat, who happily jumped into her hands to bask in her adoration, Dipper addressed Kim. "That Gil kid is trying too hard to get access to Ron."

"Yeah, he is," Kim replied. "I'm gong to keep an eye on him and run interference how I can. Ron really doesn't need this."

Dipper agreed. "You're a good friend."

"And you're just…" She stared at Dipper for a second, before looking away. "Way too nice?" She turned and flashed him a smile. "Anyway, I'm gonna go watch the showcase, thanks!"

She quickly heeded over to the edge of the stage and the mascots lining up in preparation for heading out on stage. Watching her go, Dipper turned to Anne.

"Did she just…?"

Anne looked from Dipper to Kim and then back again. "Man, I am so jealous."

Click to shrink...

Kaguya: Someone is being flirted at. *eye smiles from behind her fan*

Kallen: Knock it off. Not everyone is as libertine as we are.

Kaguya: Forgive me for liking redheads.

The largest building at the camp site was broken into four main sections. Two that were directly connected were the actual dining area, consisting of rows of tables where campers could sit down and eat food collected from the Buffet-style serving tables, and the recreational area that featured pool tables, a handful of arcade tables, and video games set up in the corners. One of the separated sections was the kitchen, where numerous cooks both human and artificial prepared meals at a high pace and volume to meet the needs of hundreds of campers.

The other separated second was the staff dining room, which was considerably more upscale and featured even its own hibachi grill setup. In this room, the head chaperones for the Cheer Camp were all gathered at the long, white-clothed table serving the finest in Japanese cuisine cooked off the grill by a beautiful dark-haired Japanese American woman with piercing green eyes with a hawk-like gaze.

The cook was hard and swiftly at work preparing food for everyone in the room–aided by several wait staff who'd quickly pick up dishes and hand them out to the chaperone guests. There were awed gasps and brief periods of applause as her almost glowing knives parted ingredients like she was cutting through air.

At the head of the table, Sycorax's Executive manager of their Environmental Impact Mitigation, Travis Malone was explaining what was happening to Mr. Barkin.

"Omakase; it basically means 'leave it to the chef.' You're putting your dining experience in the hands of a chef with years of Michelin Star level experience."

Mr. Barkin was unimpressed. "I've served in Japan and spent five years stationed around the Bay Area, I know a thing or two about Japanese cuisine."

Travis was a bit taken aback by the stern educator's dismissal of his attempt at flexing. "Is everything okay, Mr. Barkin?"

He gestured to him. "Ever since we sat down, you've been particularly unhappy… or at least I think. It's really hard to tell, with you Desert Storm Vets."

"I never served in Desert Storm," Barkin replied. "Only combat I saw was in Somalia. The Battle of Mogadishu, 1993."

Travis was taken aback by that. "Oh…" His eyes grew a bit larger as he attached some historical recollection of that battle. "Oh, m-my apologies."

"To answer your question, I'm afraid not, Mr. Malone. I've got more than a little concern about a certain individual attending the camp and I want an explanation for it."

Click to shrink...

Trollouche: Cooks human and artificial??

Alice: They have robot cooks now?

Rakshata: Fascinating, I am extremely curious as to what sort of tasks they're assigning and what level of reasoning the assistant chefs are capable of.

Tohdoh: Impressive display.

Milly: What happened in Mogadishu?

Trollouche: Let's just say it's rather infamous as a FUBAR situation for the US military and a black eye on their record.

"Causing problems? No. being a problem? We'll see." Barkin pointed a finger at Travis. "Moss, Gilbert, the mascot for Hidden Lake High. Why were we not informed he'd be attending when we were invited?"

Mr. Malone tried to put a face to the name. "Gilbert…?"

As he asked the name aloud, the doors opened and Kim walked in. Rightly assuming what the conversation was about just by how Mr. Barkin was scowling at the Silicon Valley Manbun Aficionado, Kim elaborated.

"He goes by Gil? I'm pretty sure you're familiar with his name."

Mr. Barkin turned to Kim. "Possible, this is a staff only area."

Travis lit with recognition. "Oh, Gil!"

"Yes, Gil," Kim reiterated.

Travis raised his hands in a placating gesture. "I'm sorry if his presence causes discomfort, but rest assured–Sycorax has done a great deal to decontaminate him and help him rehabilitate into society."

"Even if he's been rehabilitated, which I don't doubt, trying to put him and Ron in the same cabin? So not cool."

Mr. Barkin did a double-take. "You tried to force one of my students into a cabin with someone who attempted to murder him?"

Travis vehemently protested that. "Whoa, hold on! Gil was not in his right mind when he did those things, and we've proven as a fact, legally, that he is physically and mentally stable as well as a functioning member of society who is safe to be around other people."

Kim folded her arms. "And why weren't any of us told about this?"

Travis sighed. "Goodness' sake, man… I'm going to say some strong things to the public relations department about this. First, let me start by apologizing… it was not supposed to go down like this. Next, let me explain."

Click to shrink...

Milly: Time for the corporate speak.

Kaguya: Since the dawn of the corporate era, a certain skill has been passed down from executives, to middle managers, to supervisors, and to the lowest employee. This skill, is the art of ass covering.

Milly: So that thing you never do since you started wearing skirts around us?

Kaguya: Fu fu fu fu.

Kallen: Wake me when he's done bullshitting.

Finished cooking and plating up another serving, the chef looked out the corner of her eyes at Kim and held her gaze on the young woman for a moment.

"This is the first season where Lake Gottagrin is open to the public, since Sycorax finished the cleanup of the lake shoreline. When the NCA suddenly came to us to host the All Star Camp, we had to mark it in a big way–and one of the geniuses in marketing? Man, they suggested that Gil coming here, spending time at the camp, and burying some hatchets would be a good look."

As Travis explained himself, Kim noticed the chef staring and met her gaze. With a bit of confusion, Kim silently conveyed if there was a reason she was being so intently stared at. The woman's unspoken response was one of recognition before shifting to a cordial nod of acknowledgement.

Kim respectfully nodded back, before she returned her attention to Travis palming his face. "I guess whoever that wizard was left you guys out of the loop and, again…" He brought his head up to address both Kim and Mr. Barkin. "I am so sorry if Gil being here has been a giant scare for all of you."

Mr. Barkin's permanent scowl hardened into visible skepticism as he rendered his verdict. "Well, in the future make sure everyone is on the same page. And unless anyone consents to it, keep Gil away from my cheerleaders."

"And mascot," Kim chimed in.

"And mascot!" Barkin added.

Travis nodded quickly in surrender to the two. "You need not say more. I'll make sure it's sorted out–you won't see Gil again until the end of the week."

"Good," Barkin and Kim said in unison. The two looked and smiled to one another in mutual acknowledgement, before Barkin pointed to the door. "Possible! Staff only, out!"

Click to shrink...

Kaguya: And thus the corporation is shielded, dogezas were made, and the problem is solved.

Nunnally: But they didn't do anything.

Kaguya: Exactly.

"So…" Travis said, a bit awkwardly. "Mogadishu?"

"It was terrible, I don't like to talk about it," Barkin said, hoping to make things a little more awkward for the office worker.

"You know… when I was in the Air Force, I was deployed to Shanghai for Operation Reclaiming Jade."

And suddenly Mr. Barkin was a lot more cordial. "Oh, a fellow veteran! I couldn't tell because of all that fancy tech startup attitude."

"Are you kidding? Most flyboys coming off their commission go straight into tech."

As the doors closed behind her and she made a bee-line for the exit of the dining hall, Kim brought her hand up to her ear and turned off the speaker mute of the bluetooth earpiece her hair hid. "Wade, did you hear that?"

Wade yawned and replied. "All I heard was a whole lot of corporate kowtowing. He's definitely good at kissing butt to avoid liability."

Kim agreed. "He covered Sycorax's end, but everything else? Still sketch."

"I'll start digging deeper," Wade said, "See what I find out on my end. What about you?"

"I'm going to talk to Gil and see if there's something I can pick up from him. Call me as soon as you hit anything we need to know."

"What about Ron, should I call and tell him to meet you?"

Kim's brow furrowed. "Ron's been through enough coming to Lake Wannaweep. I'm going to deal with the Gil sitch so he won't have to."

From the sound of it, Wade was grateful. "I think that's the right idea. Ron's stories about camping were part of why I was an agoraphobe for a while."

"Aren't you still an agoraphobe?"

"No, I'm just an antisocial shut-in. When I have to go outside, I hate it instead of fear it."

Click to shrink...

Tohdoh: It is far easier to converse with one who understands the nature of duty and military service for those of us in the profession of soldiering.

Trollouche: Shanghai? Why would the US military be deployed to Shanghai?

CC: Operation reclaiming Jade, perhaps a reference to the Jade of the imperial throne, a claimant to the mandate of heaven?

Trollouche: Too hard to say, not enough information, we don't even know how long ago that was. Though if Barkin and Malone are close in age, maybe twenty years ago?

Tohdoh: The man is in his fourties, if I were to guess, definite ex-service build.

Kaguya: Truly a master of the ass covering arts.

Rivalz: Speaking as a friend who had another friend (who is an asshole) hide shit for my own good? Not a great idea.

Trollouche; I said I was sorry.

Alice: The anti-social one is Rakshata when she's working.

Rakshata: Why would I want to talk to people then? I'm busy with SCIENCE!

Ending the call, Kim reached her cabin and all but barged in. She found Sasha sitting at the vanity beside their bed, brushing her hair out while she watched a makeup tutorial on her phone. Spotting Kim in the vanity mirror, Sasha looked back.

"Hey Roomie," she greeted as Kim shut the door behind her and went straight for her duffel bag. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Kim replied as she pulled up her neatly folded up mission attire–a simple but durable black turtleneck and green cargo pants. Seeing the clothes and the black hiking shoes added to the pile, Sasha raised her right eyebrow in curiosity.

"You sure? Because it kinda looks like you got plans tonight."

Kim stopped, and then gave Sasha a pointed look. "What if I do?"

With a smile, Sasha shrugged her shoulders. "Then nobody heard it from me."

Smiling back, Kim pulled from the duffel bag a utility box and a durable plastic case. She opened it, revealing one of her favorite pieces of equipment: her grappling hook gun.

Tonight could be a busy night, and she wanted to be prepared.

Click to shrink...

CC: Someone knows the value of discretion.

Kallen: Or she's smart enough to know that if Kim Possible is getting her work clothes on, then it's probably not something she wants to be involved in.

CC: Don't get in the way of an operative is one of those things you'd assume people know....but then so many decide they know better.

Kallen: Speaking from experience?

CC: Bitter.

 

[The Ero-Sennin]

This has technically been done for a while. Given my recent post in Legends, I figured I should get back to it with this.

= - = Part 1-5 = - =

|Clowning|​

In the main dining hall, Dipper and Ron were at the self-serve station, the former watching as the latter prepared a plate of food. With all the concentration of a chef at a Michelin Star restaurant, Ron leaned in close and carefully eyeballed the amount of taco meat he poured upon a soft tortilla, before he sprinkled on an exact count of corn tortilla chips and followed it with a just as carefully measured helping of nacho cheese.

Satisfied, he took the sides of the assembled taco and slotted it into a holder containing two more of the nacho/taco hybrids he proudly and affectionately called the Naco. "And that, my man is how you assemble perfect Nacos."

He offered the plate to Dipper, who took one and had a bite. His eyes widening, he was honestly surprised. "And you just gave this idea away to Bueno Nacho?"

"I didn't give it away," Ron corrected. "I have a contract with them and everything. I just haven't gotten any of my royalties yet."

"Well, I hope you get something for it, because this is so brilliant I can't believe no one's thought of this before."

"What can I say? When it comes to Tex-Mex Cuisine, I am a bon-vi-vant." Ron said as he picked up his plate with not only three Nacos of his own but a bowl of chips and queso for Rufus.

"Hon hon!" Rufus chirruped in a French Accent as he salivated in anticipation for his meal.

As they headed towards the Mad Dogs table, Anne called over from a four-spot table she shared with Shark Kid, who sat perfectly still beside her, their eyes closed. "Hey, guys, over here!"

Dipper perked up. "Oh, hey Anne."

"Heeeey! And Shark Kid, too!" Ron greeted as both young men headed over to the two SJHS students. "Enjoying the all you can eat?"

"Are you kidding? The last time I ate this good, I was visiting my Grandma in Roanapur."

Dipper's right eyebrow shot up, while Ron took a seat across from her and Shark Kid, encouraging his bunkmate to do the same. "So, enjoying camp?"

"Uh, obvi?" Anne asked. "Besides hanging out here at the hall, all I've done is sit around and watch The Good Witch Azura movies."

A fine subject to pivot to away from familial places of origin, Dipper took it. "Huh, you like Azura, too?"

"Oh my gosh, I love the movies, and the manga adaptation is so lit!"

Ron looked back and forth between the two. "Azura, is that like Harry Potter or something?"

"Pfft, no way!" Anne declared. "The Good Witch Azura's actually fun, and not an essay about how miserable it is to be British."

"Being British does suck," Dipper said.

"Right?" Anne asked before gesturing to the boys. "What'd you guys get up to?"

Dipper looked at Ron, who happily shared. "Oh, just a bunch of workshops and classes on being a mascot. They kept calling on me a lot to demonstrate stuff." He looked at the statue still Shark Kid. "Shark Kid, too. By the way, SK? Absolute genius with that cartwheel to belly flop. It had everyone going."

Shark Kid suddenly came to life, waving a fin happily to Ron, before going still again.

"I was spending all day setting up my temporary base of operations," Dipper revealed. "A laptop, some CCTVs, stuff like that."

Ron glanced around suspiciously and leaned close, Anne doing the same. "… For the mission?"

"For the mission." Dipper confirmed before he asked Anne. "We're meeting after nine behind the cottages. You still in?"

"We're just setting up your cameras, right?" Anne asked. "Of course, I'm still in."

"Just wanting to be sure. We don't want to get caught so we won't be using flashlights. It's going to be very dark."

Anne looked between Ron and Dipper again. "Out in the woods after dark? That doesn't sound too bad when I'll have you two with me." She said with a saucy smile as she leaned back in her chair. "Besides, I'd rather be out in the woods than deal with Bonnie awake or asleep."

She looked over at where the Mad Dog Cheerleaders were sitting and chatting. Among the girls, Kim was absent, but Bonnie was there, and she seemed more focused on her food than conversation.

"Did you know she snores like a chainsaw? It's so loud! I think there's something wrong with her." Anne noticed Sasha approach the table and jumped ever slightly. "Oh, hey Sash."

"Hey Boonchuy, hey Shark Kid," Sasha said as she rounded the table and put her arms around both Anne the Sharks' mascot to give them hugs. She looked between Dipper and Ron and then back at Anne. "Really? It's only been a day."

Dipper and Ron shared looks, wondering what Sasha meant.

"Sasha!" Anne protested as her bestie laughed. "We're just hanging out. I gotta do something while I'm here!"

Sasha finished snickering before turning to Dipper and Ron. "Take good care of my girl, all right? Anne's my bestie and I'd hate for anything to happen to her." She gave Anne an exaggerated hug and affectionate nuzzle, while giving both a quick side-eye to gauge their reaction.

Dipper's cheeks flushed slightly. "Um… don't worry about that, plus ones gotta look out for each other."

Ron, ever the hero, had no intention of letting anything bad happen. "Don't you worry, we'll take care of Anne."

Sasha chuckled. "Sure, you will." She teased before Anne playfully pushed her away. "Now, what's this I hear about someone snoring like a chainsaw?"

Anne mock glowered at Sasha, then pointed over at Bonnie. "That chick you swapped cabins with? The worst. How is she even a cheerleader?"

Ron chimed in. "Bonnie's not bad, she's pretty agile, and she knows the routines. And while she's no Tara or Kim, she's one of the best-looking and popular girls on the squad and at school."

Dipper glanced over. "I don't know, every time I've seen her, she looks too angry to be hot."

"Well, she's also mean, spoiled, and really, really, really petty."

Sasha and Anne were both impressed. "Wow, three whole reallys," the former said. "Good to know."

She pats both Anne and Shark Kid on their shoulders. "Anyway, I gotta go back to herding the girls. Don't do anything I wouldn't do and remember." She pulled away and began walking back over to the rest of her squad. "This is cheer camp, not date camp!"

"Waybright!" Anne called after Sasha, red spreading across her face, complementing her brown skin nicely. She turned to Ron and Dipper. "Ignore her, she's the biggest troll I know!"

Ron missed another social cue. "Huh?"

Dipper had not. "Gotcha, don't worry."

Having enjoyed their meal of self-serve Tex-Mex at the Dining Hall, Ron and Dipper returned to their cottage and the former was introduced to the setup the latter had been working on. It was a considerable setup, consisting of several computer monitors connected to a laptop, and when turned on each monitor displayed a "No Signal" message. He'd been in and out of enough museums, banks, evil lairs, and Wade's garage to know that Dipper was not playing around.

"Wow, if someone had a look at all this stuff, they'd swear you were either trying to install them in the girls' locker rooms or capture photos of Bigfoot."

Dipper looked up at Ron, partly startled, mostly disgusted. "Really?"

"Sorry, it was just a joke," Ron began to backtrack.

Shaking his head, Dipper went back to assembling the cameras. "Why would I…? Bigfoot's not even real."

Ron stopped when he realized that was what Dipper was offended by. "Wait, you don't believe in Bigfoot?"

"Why would I? Bigfoot has always just been a guy in a gorilla suit filmed in the best possible format for leaving things up to interpretation."

Dipper assembled the last of the four cameras. "We live in a world that has mad scientists, superheroes, and the honest to goodness paranormal. Until I look a real giant North American forest ape dead in the eyes, I refuse to acknowledge Bigfoot as anything but a hoax."

Ron looked at Rufus, his alarmingly intelligent Naked Mole Rat, thought about how he was at a camp where a bully of his became a lake monster, and conceded to Dipper's argument without another word to the contrary. "Fair enough."

Placing the assembled cameras in a duffel bag, Dipper slung it over his shoulder and stood up. "So, ready to hit the woods?"

"Of course I am." Ron replied.

Together, the two plus Rufus headed downstairs and reached the door just before it opened and Mabel walked in, accompanied by Jessica.

"Is it really okay for me to visit?" The giggling Mad Dogs cheerleader asked while hugging Mabel's arm.

"Don't worry, we'll have you back at your cabin before lights out."

Both stopped and saw Ron and Dipper ready to leave the cottage.

"Uh…" Ron wasn't exactly sure what to say at the moment–but he suddenly had a feeling he'd missed some dialogue trees throughout the day's events.

"Dipper," Mabel said, "Are you sneaking out to do something over at Clown Camp?"

Dipper looked at the clock on the living room's Holo Projection television. "Mabel, are you having someone in our cabin unsupervised after nine?"

As Jessica's face flushed scarlet, Mabel let out a quick hum at the insightfulness of her brother. "Forget that I asked and have a great night."

"You too," Dipper replied as he gestured for Ron to follow him out the front door.

Ron quickly followed, shuffling around the cheerleaders. "Yeah, uh, I can't say I saw anything if I didn't see anything!"

Jessica called back after him. "WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING?! WE'RE JUST GONNA WATCH SOME ANIME, RON! GOD…!"

As the door shut, cutting Jessica off, Ron and Dipper headed over to Anne's cottage, Ron pulling at the collar of his Mad Dogs jersey.

"Did I miss something? I'm pretty sure I missed something," he said to Dipper as they snuck behind their cottage and headed for the lake's edge.

"Mabel loves making friends," Dipper explained. "Knowing her, they probably hit it off the second they met."

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure Jess is actually into her."

Dipper shrugged his shoulders. "She's in luck, then, Mabel is popular with football players and cheerleaders–if you get my meaning."

"What about mascots?"

Dipper turned his head to stare at Ron, giving him all the time he needed to connect the dots.

Ron needed all of that generosity. "Ohhhhh!"

"Just remember that this is Cheer Camp, not Date Camp," Dipper said, mocking Sasha's tone slightly, as they reached the back of Anne and Bonnie's cottage. Anne was already there, waiting for them trying not to explode from nervous excitement.

To their surprise, she was wearing black cargo pants, a dark blue SJHS hooded sweatshirt, and a bandana over her nose and mouth.

"Whoa…" Dipper looked down at himself, still wearing his more visible clothes. "I feel underdressed."

Still in his Mad Dogs uniform, Ron agreed. He had left his usual sneaking around clothes at home, too. "Yeah… you don't mind if we stand out like sore thumbs, do you?"

"Not at all," Anne said. "It just means if we get caught, I can sneak away like a ninja in the night."

Dipper let out a laugh. "Then I hope we get caught by someone rather than something." He gestured for the two to follow. "Now come on, let's go."

@@@@@​

Over by the older cabins, specifically Cabin 13, Kim crept among the tall, narrow trees off the edge of the camp, sticking to their shadows as she watched Mr. Barkin–having finished his dinner–patrol the grounds, looking for anyone outside their cabins after nine o'clock.

She stayed extremely still, keeping as much tree trunk and pairs cabin between her and Barkin as he shone his light on Cabin 12 to reveal two mascots hanging out by the door. "Attention, gentlemen, you need to be indoors, and those lights better be out at twenty–two hundred!"

The mascots both stared at him, uncomprehending.

Barkin grumbled and went full Drill Sergeant mode. "That's ten o'clock in civvy time! Now march, get those keisters indoors!"

As the two mascots darted inside the cabin to Barkin's satisfaction, Kim slunk over to the very edge of the old camp, where the notorious Cabin 13 stood. Behind another tree, she peeked out to see Barkin approach the end of the path and ducked back behind it when Barkin swept the flashlight to look into the forest.

She pressed her back to the tree and held her breath when the light stopped on the tree she used as cover, casting her in its pitch-dark shadow as the flashlight's blazing glow illuminated the forest in front of her.

Mr. Barkin scrutinized the forest, then looked at the already dark Cabin 13 just to his right. Humming, he pointed his flashlight at it and let it linger there for a moment, before he turned and resumed his patrol in the other direction.

With her coach's back turned, Kim moved with quiet grace and determined confidence, quickly making it to the corner of Cabin 13 without arousing suspicion. Peeking out again to make sure he was out of line of sight; she maneuvered around to the front door to the cabin and knocked quietly.

There was no response. After a quick look around behind her, she knocked a bit harder, loud enough for Gil to hear her if he was inside.

"Shoot…" She whispered before she tested the doorknob. It was locked and required the key card. Without hesitating she brought up her phone and performed some thumb swipes before placing it against the lock, where it disengaged with a click.

Quietly, she turned the doorknob and slowly opened the door to find it pitch dark. She could make out the shapes of the bunk beds, dresser, and desk that occupied the otherwise sparse cabin.

Taking care not to cause the floor to creak, Kim shuffled slowly into the cabin and closed the door behind her, casting her in total darkness that the cabin's window did not help with.

She made her way, her soft footsteps worthy of a ninja's admiration, as she pulled out a pair of sunglasses from her utility belt and slipped them on. The night-vision lenses kicked on as soon as they were comfortably seated on her face, illuminating the room in a green tint that made out the shapes better.

Gil was in his bed on the bottom bunk, asleep, wrapped up in his blanket like it was a cocoon. Only his messy hair stuck out where his head rested on the sole pillow on his bed.

Anyone just glancing inside to check for a sleeping camper would assume that much, at least. Kim, however, saw only one pillow in Gil's bunk where there was more than room for two–and none on the top bunk.

Reaching out for Gil's shoulder she pushed down and indeed only found a collection of pillows wrapped up with a wig.

"He's not here…" She said before she darted back to the door and stepped outside.

Pushing her sunglasses down she scanned the ground around the cabin and stopped when she made out the faint outline of a bare footprint in the dirt just next it. When she replaced her sunglasses and raised their brightness, she found several more trails going in and out towards the camp proper–indicating Gil's obvious movements and a single trail leading in the opposite direction towards the woods.

"… Okay… where are you going?" She asked as she began following that lone trail.

@@@@@​

Circumnavigating the edge of the lake, Dipper, Ron, and Anne found their first hurdle towards reaching the forest outskirts of Clown Camp. A fence with several signs warning against trespass due to potential danger.

"Science Camp," Ron said aloud. "My indirect mortal enemy."

Reading the warning signs, Dipper scoffed. "I'm not surprised this place is still run by Krei Tech."

Anne spoke up. "Wait, Alistair Krei Krei Tech?"

"The most incompetent Tech Company in the world, yes. Who else would cause this place to pollute an entire lake with mutagenic toxic waste without being a Captain Planet villain?"

Ron hesitated and looked around. "Do you think there could still be any of that contamination around here?"

Dipper began to climb the fence. "Who knows? Sycorax did such a good job of cleaning up the place that they've got a bunch of government contracts to do other cleanups for it."

Ron scrambled up the fence. His clumsy athleticism, however, caused him to strain and struggle a bit to get himself over the top. "Then why the fence?"

As Ron dropped down with a thud, Dipper turned and kept on through the forest. "Probably a leftover from the cleanup, that or it's to give the impression that they care about safety. Look at how half-assed this is, there's not even barbed wire at the top."

It dawned on Ron. "It's security theater, like airport checks."

Dipper laughed. "Yeah, the worst part about flying, right?"

"Honestly?" Ron said, as Anne dropped down next to him. "I think I can count the times I've flown commercial on one hand since we started the spy stuff. It's usually private jets, miltransit, or Globe… trotters."

Dipper looked back, curious by how Ron hung there for a second. "Globetrotters?"

Ron played cool, by which he all but fell over his words nervously, trying to make up something that sounded plausible. "You know, the Harlem Globetrotters? Kim stopped Dr. Drakken from stealing their talent and programming it into some robots to win a basketball game in Dubai. We get free rides with them for life."

"That's so cool," Anne said as she stepped closer to him.

Dipper shrugged his shoulders and continued on. "Lucky you. I'd sell Waddles to be able to fly private." He pointed ahead. "After we climb the next fence, we'll be in the backwoods of Clown Camp."

"Then what?" Anne asked as she scanned the quiet forest around them.

He patted his duffel bag. "We won't be there too long, though. We're just going to set up these cameras and then leave."

Ron nodded. "Sounds like a plan, my man."

"So what are you hoping to actually see, again?" Anne inquired.

Dipper looked back at her. "Anything weird or unusual, of course. Proof of possible supernatural clown activity."

As Dipper answered, something caught Ron's attention, and he stared past Dipper with widening eyes. "Like a little clown girl wandering through the woods?"

"Yeah, like a little clown girl–" Dipper and Anne stopped and looked to follow where Ron was staring and froze.

Up ahead of them was the other fence, and on the other side of it a little girl was walking. She had to be no older than six or seven, wearing a dark-colored dress and boots, and carrying under her arms a yellow stuffed rabbit. She had sandy brown hair, but her most standout feature was the white clown makeup she wore–complete with a bright red nose.

Ron and Dipper stood stock still, just watching the girl trot along the fence without a care in the world–not even noticing them.

After a moment, Dipper stated the obvious. "Mm… that's not right."

"No, that's not," Ron said firmly, fear creeping into his voice.

Anne's fear was already there. "Why is there a little girl walking around in the woods at night dressed like a clown?"

Looking shaken himself for a second, Dipper regained his composure. "Let's find out."

As he headed quietly for the fence, Ron suddenly wanted to go back to dealing with whatever Gil's whole situation was. "Uh, no? How about we go back to the cottage and pretend we didn't see anything; this has suddenly gotten way too creepy!"

Seeing Dipper wasn't deterred by his reasonable suggestion, Ron let out a sigh of resignation and followed.

@@@@@​

On the other end of Lake Gottagrin, and further still from its shore, Kim tracked Gil's footsteps deeper into the forest. Away from the lights of any of the camp sites, it was so dark that even her night-vision glasses were having trouble picking up the tracks.

"I knew I should've packed my infrared goggles…" She quietly complained.

There was no obvious path ahead, no well-walked trail, and not even that much underbrush. The interlocking branches of the pine trees above kept the forest floor relatively clear, so Kim had to walk low to the ground to make sure she didn't lose Gil's footprints.

The ground was at least damp and the soil soft, making his prints easy to make out with close inspection. But it was the path of this followed trail that bothered Kim. What was he looking for? Why was he even out here?

"This is so sketch…" She murmured as she considered at least one unsettling possibility.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of something breaking not too far ahead of her. Going still and lowering herself further, Kim crept–practically on all fours–towards a larger tree to her right, in the direction of the lake.

Just beyond it, with the lights of the nearby Band Camp providing a better source for her night-vision glasses to work with, she could make out Gil's silhouette approaching the shore.

"Oh, did he hear me?" She whispered, when she realized he was only fifteen meters ahead of her.

Making herself smaller still, not minding the soft dirt beneath her fingers, Kim watched Gil through the gaps of the trees between them. She could see a shadow looming in the dark, a familiar one.

Bringing her hand up, she adjusted her glasses and focused on what was definitely an old, abandoned boathouse, the front half of its roof ripped open like a large projectile had plowed into it.

The last time they were here, Ron had tied Gill to a runaway motorboat, which ended up careening into the pier and launching itself and the then monstrous young man into the boathouse and destroying it. It was the blow Ron defeated Gill with, and one of the bravest things Kim had ever seen.

If Ron weren't her best friend, she probably wouldn't have believed the events as he described it, since she wasn't here for them. But seeing the boathouse and the state it was in for herself sent a small wave of emotion through her.

"Now I wish I was there to see it." With that lament out of the way, she had a dilemma to contend with. "… But why do you want to see it, Gil?"

That was the strange thing, though; Gil just stood there, occasionally looking around. He was just looking out across, like he wanted to enjoy the view of the other camps–or was passing the time waiting for something… or someone.

When Gil turned to his left, looking in the direction of Band Camp, Kim leaned out from the tree to see what he was looking at. To her surprise, a girl obscured in silhouette walked past the front of the boathouse and up to him.

She tried to enhance her night-vision to make her out, but at the distance involved she couldn't get any detail. "A girl? Why would Gil be meeting a girl…?"

As Kim mused, the mysterious woman embraced Gil and hugged him tightly.

Kim shot back and hid behind the tree, no longer looking at the couple, her cheeks glowing pink.

"Oh."

This was awkward. This was so awkward. This was the most awkward.

Kim pushed herself away from the tree. "I so did not come all out here just to watch Gil make–"

There was a thunk against the tree trunk behind her. With great swiftness Kim leapt forward, rolled and faced the tree, her gaze locking onto the trunk and the tiny, tufted injector dart sticking from the bark.

Suddenly, every instinct was screaming at Kim to move and move she did. Leaping up into a soaring backflip, she could hear the near silent swish of darts moving through the air where she'd stood, and the subsequent clicks and clacks of them hitting other trees or the ground.

Landing, she moved again, this time to her left as she heard darts strike not only the ground where she was standing, but also hit a tree that had been to her right. Two different sets of darts from different directions.

There were two shooters.

Three. Kim twisted her body and dodged a third shooter that attacked from her left. Abandoning stealth, she ran low and fast, weaving around trees and ducking under branches as the fusillade of darts impacted everywhere she'd been, but not where she currently was.

As she ran, she clicked her earpiece and called Wade.

"… Huh… Kim?" He sleepily asked.

Even tech guys needed sleep, she guessed. "Wade, sitch! I've got hostiles!"

A dart passing her right ear made her dive into a roll then scramble up a tree to kick off it and into the branches of one of the rarer non conifer trees standing tall in the forest. From the branch she leaped and used a conifer's flexible branch to swing and leap out into a small glade with a large stump and the trunk of a fallen tree amidst knee high grass.

Tumbling through the air, Kim landed on the stump and turned in the direction her attackers came from.

"Hostiles, how many?" When Wade asked, Kim pulled out her phone, swiped the lock screen, and opened her Kimmunicator app. Opening the camera, he swept it in front of her, and her sunglasses lit up as they indicated three figures moving in the forest towards her.

"At least three," she said as her phone and glasses finished pairing and she put the former away.

Another barrage of darts forced her to duck back to use the stump and fallen tree to protect her. Crouched leaning against it, she listened as the last of them impacted against her cover before she called out.

"Whoever you guys are you are making a big mistake!"

Peeking out from behind the stump, she watched as her attackers finally revealed themselves. It was a trio consisting of two men and one woman, all dressed in gray armored body suits with red panel-lined black armor on their chests, shoulders, forearms, and legs. They wore no helmets, but did have a combination headset and orange visor that was likely feeding them tactical data like her own sunglasses were.

All three of them were physically well-built, even with the powered armor clinging to their physiques. One, the man taking point in the trio's formation. sported blonde hair but a much darker goatee, the woman of the trio had the right side of her head shaved but kept the rest of her brown hair long and down past her shoulder, while the third man–who was as wide as the first two together–was completely bald but sported a beard.

"The only mistake anyone makes," the man Kim presumed was leader of the trio replied, "Is going up against The Mad Jacks!"

= - = Part 1-5 = - =​

No but seriously, Big Hero 6 the series was actually pretty lit. If you could get past the animation.

 

[Tsumegothorns]

Fun. Wanna see more, perhaps.

 

[TricksterPriest]

Kallen: So how come it took you so long?

Real life finds a way, Tsundere-chan.

In the main dining hall, Dipper and Ron were at the self-serve station, the former watching as the latter prepared a plate of food. With all the concentration of a chef at a Michelin Star restaurant, Ron leaned in close and carefully eyeballed the amount of taco meat he poured upon a soft tortilla, before he sprinkled on an exact count of corn tortilla chips and followed it with a just as carefully measured helping of nacho cheese.

Satisfied, he took the sides of the assembled taco and slotted it into a holder containing two more of the nacho/taco hybrids he proudly and affectionately called the Naco. "And that, my man is how you assemble perfect Nacos."

He offered the plate to Dipper, who took one and had a bite. His eyes widening, he was honestly surprised. "And you just gave this idea away to Bueno Nacho?"

"I didn't give it away," Ron corrected. "I have a contract with them and everything. I just haven't gotten any of my royalties yet."

"Well, I hope you get something for it, because this is so brilliant I can't believe no one's thought of this before."

"What can I say? When it comes to Tex-Mex Cuisine, I am a bon-vi-vant." Ron said as he picked up his plate with not only three Nacos of his own but a bowl of chips and queso for Rufus.

"Hon hon!" Rufus chirruped in a French Accent as he salivated in anticipation for his meal.

As they headed towards the Mad Dogs table, Anne called over from a four-spot table she shared with Shark Kid, who sat perfectly still beside her, their eyes closed. "Hey, guys, over here!"

Dipper perked up. "Oh, hey Anne."

"Heeeey! And Shark Kid, too!" Ron greeted as both young men headed over to the two SJHS students. "Enjoying the all you can eat?"

"Are you kidding? The last time I ate this good, I was visiting my Grandma in Roanapur."

Dipper's right eyebrow shot up, while Ron took a seat across from her and Shark Kid, encouraging his bunkmate to do the same. "So, enjoying camp?"

"Uh, obvi?" Anne asked. "Besides hanging out here at the hall, all I've done is sit around and watch The Good Witch Azura movies."

A fine subject to pivot to away from familial places of origin, Dipper took it. "Huh, you like Azura, too?"

"Oh my gosh, I love the movies, and the manga adaptation is so lit!"

Ron looked back and forth between the two. "Azura, is that like Harry Potter or something?"

"Pfft, no way!" Anne declared. "The Good Witch Azura's actually fun, and not an essay about how miserable it is to be British."

Click to shrink...

Kallen: What's a naco?

Euphemia: A what?

Cornelia: *chokes on her tea briefly*

Kallen: It's some kind of food, why are you acting weird?

Euphemia: Well, the thing is..

Cornelia: The word has different connotations in spanish.

Naco (slang) - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Cornelia: It's slang for something vulgar and lowclass. In your case, it would be like a...what did you say, Lulu?

Trollouche: Like a hick from Kansai, or a redneck in the US.

Kallen: Ohhh.

Cornelia: How dare they impugn being British.

Trollouche: did she just say Roanapur?

Nunnally: Is that important?

Trollouche: It's as Obi-Wan Kenobi once said, "A more wretched hive of scum and villainy you will never find."

Dipper looked at Ron, who happily shared. "Oh, just a bunch of workshops and classes on being a mascot. They kept calling on me a lot to demonstrate stuff." He looked at the statue still Shark Kid. "Shark Kid, too. By the way, SK? Absolute genius with that cartwheel to belly flop. It had everyone going."

Shark Kid suddenly came to life, waving a fin happily to Ron, before going still again.

"I was spending all day setting up my temporary base of operations," Dipper revealed. "A laptop, some CCTVs, stuff like that."

Ron glanced around suspiciously and leaned close, Anne doing the same. "… For the mission?"

"For the mission." Dipper confirmed before he asked Anne. "We're meeting after nine behind the cottages. You still in?"

"We're just setting up your cameras, right?" Anne asked. "Of course, I'm still in."

"Just wanting to be sure. We don't want to get caught so we won't be using flashlights. It's going to be very dark."

Anne looked between Ron and Dipper again. "Out in the woods after dark? That doesn't sound too bad when I'll have you two with me." She said with a saucy smile as she leaned back in her chair. "Besides, I'd rather be out in the woods than deal with Bonnie awake or asleep."

She looked over at where the Mad Dog Cheerleaders were sitting and chatting. Among the girls, Kim was absent, but Bonnie was there, and she seemed more focused on her food than conversation.

"Did you know she snores like a chainsaw? It's so loud! I think there's something wrong with her." Anne noticed Sasha approach the table and jumped ever slightly. "Oh, hey Sash."

"Hey Boonchuy, hey Shark Kid," Sasha said as she rounded the table and put her arms around both Anne the Sharks' mascot to give them hugs. She looked between Dipper and Ron and then back at Anne. "Really? It's only been a day."

Dipper and Ron shared looks, wondering what Sasha meant.

"Sasha!" Anne protested as her bestie laughed. "We're just hanging out. I gotta do something while I'm here!"

Sasha finished snickering before turning to Dipper and Ron. "Take good care of my girl, all right? Anne's my bestie and I'd hate for anything to happen to her." She gave Anne an exaggerated hug and affectionate nuzzle, while giving both a quick side-eye to gauge their reaction.

Click to shrink...

Milly: Huh. Why did I never become a cheerleader?

Rivalz: I mean, you got the looks, but can you jump around and do cartwheels etc all day?

Milly: I'm in pretty good shape, so...maybe?

Trollouche: Milly, look me in the eye and tell me you can do the stuff Mabel and company are showing off.

Milly: *sighs* Shirley could, not me.

Nunnally: It's nice seeing good friends.

Sasha chuckled. "Sure, you will." She teased before Anne playfully pushed her away. "Now, what's this I hear about someone snoring like a chainsaw?"

Anne mock glowered at Sasha, then pointed over at Bonnie. "That chick you swapped cabins with? The worst. How is she even a cheerleader?"

Ron chimed in. "Bonnie's not bad, she's pretty agile, and she knows the routines. And while she's no Tara or Kim, she's one of the best-looking and popular girls on the squad and at school."

Dipper glanced over. "I don't know, every time I've seen her, she looks too angry to be hot."

"Well, she's also mean, spoiled, and really, really, really petty."

Sasha and Anne were both impressed. "Wow, three whole reallys," the former said. "Good to know."

She pats both Anne and Shark Kid on their shoulders. "Anyway, I gotta go back to herding the girls. Don't do anything I wouldn't do and remember." She pulled away and began walking back over to the rest of her squad. "This is cheer camp, not date camp!"

"Waybright!" Anne called after Sasha, red spreading across her face, complementing her brown skin nicely. She turned to Ron and Dipper. "Ignore her, she's the biggest troll I know!"

Ron missed another social cue. "Huh?"

Dipper had not. "Gotcha, don't worry."

Having enjoyed their meal of self-serve Tex-Mex at the Dining Hall, Ron and Dipper returned to their cottage and the former was introduced to the setup the latter had been working on. It was a considerable setup, consisting of several computer monitors connected to a laptop, and when turned on each monitor displayed a "No Signal" message. He'd been in and out of enough museums, banks, evil lairs, and Wade's garage to know that Dipper was not playing around.

"Wow, if someone had a look at all this stuff, they'd swear you were either trying to install them in the girls' locker rooms or capture photos of Bigfoot."

Dipper looked up at Ron, partly startled, mostly disgusted. "Really?"

"Sorry, it was just a joke," Ron began to backtrack.

Shaking his head, Dipper went back to assembling the cameras. "Why would I…? Bigfoot's not even real."

Ron stopped when he realized that was what Dipper was offended by. "Wait, you don't believe in Bigfoot?"

"Why would I? Bigfoot has always just been a guy in a gorilla suit filmed in the best possible format for leaving things up to interpretation."

Dipper assembled the last of the four cameras. "We live in a world that has mad scientists, superheroes, and the honest to goodness paranormal. Until I look a real giant North American forest ape dead in the eyes, I refuse to acknowledge Bigfoot as anything but a hoax."

Ron looked at Rufus, his alarmingly intelligent Naked Mole Rat, thought about how he was at a camp where a bully of his became a lake monster, and conceded to Dipper's argument without another word to the contrary. "Fair enough."

Click to shrink...

Rivalz: Don't think I know anyone who snores.

Trollouche: Kallen does-

Kallen: *smacks Lulu* The hell I do!

Trollouche: Ow. Ok ok, she doesn't.

Milly: Is it just me or does Ron seem to like Bonnie? :3

Euphemia: Do you think he noticed that Anne is interested in him? *giggles*

Milly: Nah, totally flew over his head. Think the tall stud caught it though~.

Kallen: Locker room peeping? Think I'd actually break cover for that one.

Milly: Relax, there isn't anything recording that I'm not aware of.

Kallen: Phew....wait, what?!

Milly: Hehehehe.

Rivalz: On the one hand? Kinda double standard. On the other hand...he's got a point.

"Dipper," Mabel said, "Are you sneaking out to do something over at Clown Camp?"

Dipper looked at the clock on the living room's Holo Projection television. "Mabel, are you having someone in our cabin unsupervised after nine?"

As Jessica's face flushed scarlet, Mabel let out a quick hum at the insightfulness of her brother. "Forget that I asked and have a great night."

"You too," Dipper replied as he gestured for Ron to follow him out the front door.

Ron quickly followed, shuffling around the cheerleaders. "Yeah, uh, I can't say I saw anything if I didn't see anything!"

Jessica called back after him. "WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING?! WE'RE JUST GONNA WATCH SOME ANIME, RON! GOD…!"

As the door shut, cutting Jessica off, Ron and Dipper headed over to Anne's cottage, Ron pulling at the collar of his Mad Dogs jersey.

"Did I miss something? I'm pretty sure I missed something," he said to Dipper as they snuck behind their cottage and headed for the lake's edge.

"Mabel loves making friends," Dipper explained. "Knowing her, they probably hit it off the second they met."

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure Jess is actually into her."

Dipper shrugged his shoulders. "She's in luck, then, Mabel is popular with football players and cheerleaders–if you get my meaning."

"What about mascots?"

Dipper turned his head to stare at Ron, giving him all the time he needed to connect the dots.

Ron needed all of that generosity. "Ohhhhh!"

"Just remember that this is Cheer Camp, not Date Camp," Dipper said, mocking Sasha's tone slightly, as they reached the back of Anne and Bonnie's cottage. Anne was already there, waiting for them trying not to explode from nervous excitement.

Click to shrink...

Milly: Ouu, girl's night in~

Euphemia: Oh my.

Rivalz: It really took you that long to connect those dots, Ron?

She made her way, her soft footsteps worthy of a ninja's admiration, as she pulled out a pair of sunglasses from her utility belt and slipped them on. The night-vision lenses kicked on as soon as they were comfortably seated on her face, illuminating the room in a green tint that made out the shapes better.

Gil was in his bed on the bottom bunk, asleep, wrapped up in his blanket like it was a cocoon. Only his messy hair stuck out where his head rested on the sole pillow on his bed.

Anyone just glancing inside to check for a sleeping camper would assume that much, at least. Kim, however, saw only one pillow in Gil's bunk where there was more than room for two–and none on the top bunk.

Reaching out for Gil's shoulder she pushed down and indeed only found a collection of pillows wrapped up with a wig.

"He's not here…" She said before she darted back to the door and stepped outside.

Pushing her sunglasses down she scanned the ground around the cabin and stopped when she made out the faint outline of a bare footprint in the dirt just next it. When she replaced her sunglasses and raised their brightness, she found several more trails going in and out towards the camp proper–indicating Gil's obvious movements and a single trail leading in the opposite direction towards the woods.

"… Okay… where are you going?" She asked as she began following that lone trail.

Click to shrink...

Kaguya: Something suspicious.

Suzaku: She should alert the proper authorities-

Trollouche: What authorities? And with what? She has nothing on him, yet.

Reading the warning signs, Dipper scoffed. "I'm not surprised this place is still run by Krei Tech."

Anne spoke up. "Wait, Alistair Krei Krei Tech?"

"The most incompetent Tech Company in the world, yes. Who else would cause this place to pollute an entire lake with mutagenic toxic waste without being a Captain Planet villain?"

Ron hesitated and looked around. "Do you think there could still be any of that contamination around here?"

Dipper began to climb the fence. "Who knows? Sycorax did such a good job of cleaning up the place that they've got a bunch of government contracts to do other cleanups for it."

Ron scrambled up the fence. His clumsy athleticism, however, caused him to strain and struggle a bit to get himself over the top. "Then why the fence?"

As Ron dropped down with a thud, Dipper turned and kept on through the forest. "Probably a leftover from the cleanup, that or it's to give the impression that they care about safety. Look at how half-assed this is, there's not even barbed wire at the top."

It dawned on Ron. "It's security theater, like airport checks."

Dipper laughed. "Yeah, the worst part about flying, right?"

"Honestly?" Ron said, as Anne dropped down next to him. "I think I can count the times I've flown commercial on one hand since we started the spy stuff. It's usually private jets, miltransit, or Globe… trotters."

Dipper looked back, curious by how Ron hung there for a second. "Globetrotters?"

Ron played cool, by which he all but fell over his words nervously, trying to make up something that sounded plausible. "You know, the Harlem Globetrotters? Kim stopped Dr. Drakken from stealing their talent and programming it into some robots to win a basketball game in Dubai. We get free rides with them for life."

Click to shrink...

Trollouche: It's a testament to how long that show has been around and how much it influenced that Captain Planet is still referenced even today.

Kaguya: Ah yes, corporations being paid to clean up their own mess. An old and familiar story.

Rivalz: The globetrotters? *whistles*

Kallen: That's pretty damn cool.

Dipper looked back at her. "Anything weird or unusual, of course. Proof of possible supernatural clown activity."

As Dipper answered, something caught Ron's attention, and he stared past Dipper with widening eyes. "Like a little clown girl wandering through the woods?"

"Yeah, like a little clown girl–" Dipper and Anne stopped and looked to follow where Ron was staring and froze.

Up ahead of them was the other fence, and on the other side of it a little girl was walking. She had to be no older than six or seven, wearing a dark-colored dress and boots, and carrying under her arms a yellow stuffed rabbit. She had sandy brown hair, but her most standout feature was the white clown makeup she wore–complete with a bright red nose.

Ron and Dipper stood stock still, just watching the girl trot along the fence without a care in the world–not even noticing them.

After a moment, Dipper stated the obvious. "Mm… that's not right."

"No, that's not," Ron said firmly, fear creeping into his voice.

Anne's fear was already there. "Why is there a little girl walking around in the woods at night dressed like a clown?"

Looking shaken himself for a second, Dipper regained his composure. "Let's find out."

As he headed quietly for the fence, Ron suddenly wanted to go back to dealing with whatever Gil's whole situation was. "Uh, no? How about we go back to the cottage and pretend we didn't see anything; this has suddenly gotten way too creepy!"

Seeing Dipper wasn't deterred by his reasonable suggestion, Ron let out a sigh of resignation and followed.

Click to shrink...

CC: Quoi.

Kallen: What the fuck.

Nunnally: That's strange.

Leloucia: Ron may have a point that this is a bad idea.

CC: I don't think they're listening to him.

"This is so sketch…" She murmured as she considered at least one unsettling possibility.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of something breaking not too far ahead of her. Going still and lowering herself further, Kim crept–practically on all fours–towards a larger tree to her right, in the direction of the lake.

Just beyond it, with the lights of the nearby Band Camp providing a better source for her night-vision glasses to work with, she could make out Gil's silhouette approaching the shore.

"Oh, did he hear me?" She whispered, when she realized he was only fifteen meters ahead of her.

Making herself smaller still, not minding the soft dirt beneath her fingers, Kim watched Gil through the gaps of the trees between them. She could see a shadow looming in the dark, a familiar one.

Bringing her hand up, she adjusted her glasses and focused on what was definitely an old, abandoned boathouse, the front half of its roof ripped open like a large projectile had plowed into it.

The last time they were here, Ron had tied Gill to a runaway motorboat, which ended up careening into the pier and launching itself and the then monstrous young man into the boathouse and destroying it. It was the blow Ron defeated Gill with, and one of the bravest things Kim had ever seen.

If Ron weren't her best friend, she probably wouldn't have believed the events as he described it, since she wasn't here for them. But seeing the boathouse and the state it was in for herself sent a small wave of emotion through her.

"Now I wish I was there to see it." With that lament out of the way, she had a dilemma to contend with. "… But why do you want to see it, Gil?"

That was the strange thing, though; Gil just stood there, occasionally looking around. He was just looking out across, like he wanted to enjoy the view of the other camps–or was passing the time waiting for something… or someone.

When Gil turned to his left, looking in the direction of Band Camp, Kim leaned out from the tree to see what he was looking at. To her surprise, a girl obscured in silhouette walked past the front of the boathouse and up to him.

She tried to enhance her night-vision to make her out, but at the distance involved she couldn't get any detail. "A girl? Why would Gil be meeting a girl…?"

As Kim mused, the mysterious woman embraced Gil and hugged him tightly.

Kim shot back and hid behind the tree, no longer looking at the couple, her cheeks glowing pink.

Click to shrink...

Milly: Hmm. Sounds like she's trying to friendzone Ronnie.

Euphemia: You think so? I think they're just close friends.

Milly: Woman's intuition.

Euphemia: You just want to play cupid. :3

Milly: ....Yeah you got me.

There was a thunk against the tree trunk behind her. With great swiftness Kim leapt forward, rolled and faced the tree, her gaze locking onto the trunk and the tiny, tufted injector dart sticking from the bark.

Suddenly, every instinct was screaming at Kim to move and move she did. Leaping up into a soaring backflip, she could hear the near silent swish of darts moving through the air where she'd stood, and the subsequent clicks and clacks of them hitting other trees or the ground.

Landing, she moved again, this time to her left as she heard darts strike not only the ground where she was standing, but also hit a tree that had been to her right. Two different sets of darts from different directions.

There were two shooters.

Three. Kim twisted her body and dodged a third shooter that attacked from her left. Abandoning stealth, she ran low and fast, weaving around trees and ducking under branches as the fusillade of darts impacted everywhere she'd been, but not where she currently was.

As she ran, she clicked her earpiece and called Wade.

"… Huh… Kim?" He sleepily asked.

Even tech guys needed sleep, she guessed. "Wade, sitch! I've got hostiles!"

Click to shrink...

Milly: Woah, hold the phone! Who invited these guys?!

CC: Bad time to not bring the night vision goggles.

Cornelia: Perhaps she has a flare she can drop to catch them by surprise?

Hostiles, how many?" When Wade asked, Kim pulled out her phone, swiped the lock screen, and opened her Kimmunicator app. Opening the camera, he swept it in front of her, and her sunglasses lit up as they indicated three figures moving in the forest towards her.

"At least three," she said as her phone and glasses finished pairing and she put the former away.

Another barrage of darts forced her to duck back to use the stump and fallen tree to protect her. Crouched leaning against it, she listened as the last of them impacted against her cover before she called out.

"Whoever you guys are you are making a big mistake!"

Peeking out from behind the stump, she watched as her attackers finally revealed themselves. It was a trio consisting of two men and one woman, all dressed in gray armored body suits with red panel-lined black armor on their chests, shoulders, forearms, and legs. They wore no helmets, but did have a combination headset and orange visor that was likely feeding them tactical data like her own sunglasses were.

All three of them were physically well-built, even with the powered armor clinging to their physiques. One, the man taking point in the trio's formation. sported blonde hair but a much darker goatee, the woman of the trio had the right side of her head shaved but kept the rest of her brown hair long and down past her shoulder, while the third man–who was as wide as the first two together–was completely bald but sported a beard.

"The only mistake anyone makes," the man Kim presumed was leader of the trio replied, "Is going up against The Mad Jacks!"

Click to shrink...

CC: Special forces?

Cornelia: Possibly. Announcing themselves to the target is decidedly unprofessional and sloppy.

Trollouche: *cough* Knights of the Round. *cough*

Cornelia: *glowers* That's different. This is clearly a stealth operation since they're not using live ammunition. Someone wants Kim Possible taken alive.

CC: Good luck Kimmy, you might need it.

 

[The Ero-Sennin]

Kim Possible lets 'em know...

= - = Part 1-6 = - =

|Clowned|​

Ron really did not expect the night to turn out like this. Sure, Dipper was a weird guy, maybe a bit of a crank with his ideas about clowns, but he expected going for a stroll around the lake with the guy would reveal that he wasn't as weird as initial impressions would dictate. Instead, it was starting to feel like Ron was stepping into a world that was weirder than he already knew it.

"Rufus, I don't know what's going on, but this just got very scary, very fast," Ron whispered to his pet and confidant after clearing the second fence just behind Dipper.

Rufus poked his head out of Ron's pants pocket, had a good look around, and duck backed down with a quick little "Nope!"

Wishing he could hide in a pocket himself, Ron looked at Dipper, who was following the path along the fence the girl went, and then back at Anne, who was trying not to lag behind as she made herself as small as possible. "Is there any way I can change your mind about us not following the little clown girl, and going back to camp?"

"Come on, it's not normal," Dipper replied. "Don't you want to know why there's a little clown girl wandering the woods in the middle of night?"

"No, not particularly," Anne said. "I'm freaking the heck out here, man!"

Ron whispered back. "It's kind of like with bears, you know? Why should we wonder why they're wandering the forest at night? We definitely shouldn't follow them to ask!"

Dipper looked back at them. "Okay, consider the following: either it's something sinister or supernatural."

Ron and Anne both nodded.

"Or there's a normal little girl in clown makeup who wandered away from her camp and is now lost in the woods in the dark."

Anne paused. "Oh." She dropped her head and sighed. "Dang it."

Ron hadn't even thought of that, but now that he did all other objections went out of the window as he stepped out ahead of Dipper, with Anne a step behind him. "She went this way along the fence, right?"

Dipper grinned and brought up the rear. "There we go."

Across Lake Gottagrin, Kim stood up as the so-called Mad Jacks emerged from the forest and took aim at her with what appeared to be custom air rifles loaded for firing tranquilizers. In her ear, she could hear Wade's fingers across his mechanical keyboard, analyzing the data sent to him.

"Mad Jacks? Wade, what am I up against, here?" She whispered.

"I've heard of these guys. US Army Black Ops who went into the Private Sector during the PMC Bubble, Jack, Jaq, and their leader, Greg."

Kim stopped. "Wait, Greg?"

"Last name Jack."

"Right…" Kim rolled her eyes as she realized this would be her whole evening. "So, what's their whole gimmick?"

"They're tech and adrenaline junkies–basically a mix of Team Impossible and Adrena Lynn–but the kit they have is legit, top of the line and custom ordered."

"Hench Co?"

"IFF Signal says it's World Marshall, so I can't crack it from here, sorry."

Kim prepared herself. "At least I get to have a little fun."

The leader of the Mad Jacks, Greg Jack, raised his rifle and aimed it at her. "What was that? You trying to call for help?"

Kim wasn't having that. "The only people who're going to need help are you. Do you want multiple ambulances or are you fine sharing one?"

The Mad Jacks looked at each other, and all let out some boisterous laughs at the very idea. Kim didn't flinch in the face of their amusement, instead she watched their weapons and where they were pointed.

"Little girl, I don't think you realize what you're up against," Greg taunted back. "We've taken on twice as many as us with crazy super tech and came out on top. What are you going to do in a three on one without an ounce of kit on you?"

Kim smirked. "Watch carefully and take notes."

Greg laughed. "Jaq? Jack?"

"Yeah, Jack?" His comrades replied.

Greg aimed down his sight at Kim. "Take her down but try not to hurt her pride too much."

The other two Mad Jacks took aim, and all three shouted together. "Jacks Rule!"

All three fired, and Kim leaped gracefully off the stump towards them. Like a cat falling from great height, she twisted her body and narrowed her profile to cause the stream of darts to pass around her, then swung down in a falling ax kick–slamming her right heel onto Greg's gun and disarming him of it.

The leader of the Jacks, startled by Kim's speed, quickly raised his right hand to block a spinning roundhouse kick. Greg could not believe that he felt that hit through his powered armor. He'd taken gunshots with less force behind them.

On Greg's right, Jack brought his rifle to bear on Kim. "Jaq, cover Jack's back."

As Kim ducked to Greg's left, Jaq swung her air rifle to target her. "You got it, Jack!"

Staying low, and keeping Greg between her and Jack, Kim lunged at Jaq and went into a slide to sweep her off her feet. Drawing her grappling hook gun, she shot it into the trees above Greg and Jack and zipped off over their heads.

Yelling, Jack aimed high and sprayed at Kim, each dart missing as she swung herself around the nearest tree, disengaged her grappling hook, and dropped down onto Jack's shoulders. Jumping from his and running across Greg's shoulders, as the grappling hook quickly retracted into the barrel, she spun and connected a spin kick to Jaq's jaw as she finished stylishly kicking up to her feet. The force of the blow knocked Jaq unconscious before she hit the ground.

"Jack Down!" Greg shouted as Kim aimed her reloaded grappling hook and fired it into a tree across the glade.

As Jack shouldered Greg aside and fired at Kim, she was yanked off her feet and hurtled across the clearing and into the safety of the trees.

When Kim was out of sight, Jack turned to Greg, who was checking on Jaq. "Jack, did you see that?"

Pulling out a hypodermic injector, Greg pushed it into Jaq's neck and squeezed the trigger. "Sure did, Jack," he replied as Jaq regained consciousness with a gasp. "You good, Jaq?"

Rubbing her neck, Jaq nodded and got back on her feet. "I'm fine, Jack… but in a second, that chick is gonna get jacked up!"

From the trees, Kim called out. "Is the whole Jack thing really necessary, or is that just part of your gimmick?"

Greg put on a smirk as he picked his weapon back up. "The only gimmick the Mad Jacks have is taking down any opposition with efficiency… and awesome!"

Kim called back from another part of the clearing, on the Mad Jacks' right. "Oh my gosh, you sound like a twelve-year-old!"

Greg noticed the change in Kim's position. With his right hand he silently signaled for Jack to move towards the outside of where her retort came from. "Oh yeah? Well… you sound like a cheerleader!"

As he hit back with his juvenile insult, he signaled for Jaq to hold her position and wait for where Kim answered from back.

Sure enough, Kim responded–this time from the left of her original position. "Ugh, why did I hit her but you're the one acting like you have a concussion?"

As she lamented the Mad Jacks diminished intellectual capacity, folded up jetpacks on the Mad Jacks' backs spread their wings and spun up their turbines to launch them across the clearing. With the speed and efficiency Greg boasted about, he and Jaq swung around the tree Kim called from…

And they found her phone sitting at the base of it, the screen reading "Speaker Mode: On" and the volume set to max.

To their left, Jack reached Kim's previous position and aimed his rifle at an empty spot. As his eyes widened, the biggest of the Jacks turned to his compatriots, expecting a counterattack to be descending on them. Proximity warnings in his suit, however, directed his attention above him.

He looked up just in time to see the heels of Kim's hiking shoes meeting his orange visor.

@@@@@​

A tension was rising in the forest with the strange, muffled sounds in the distance, like turbines building up and cutting off, and what sounded like echoing explosions. Ron Stoppable pushed it out of his mind because he was a man of compassion, kindness, and optimism. There was a kid somewhere, probably scared, lost in the woods and in need of their help.

Yes, a lost little girl, not something weird and scary like an interdimensional horror or maybe a serial killer.

"Huh, I could've sworn she'd stuck to the fence," Dipper said.

He, Ron, and Anne looked around, and saw that a mist was rolling into the woods as the nighttime cooling took hold of the moist air. Peeking out of his pocket again, Rufus took stock of the surroundings and chatted out another "Nope!" before disappearing back in.

Anne bumped into Dipper's back, then grabbed at his shirt when she heard a strange chorus of chirps and growls. "Wh-what's that?"

"Frogs," Dipper replied. "We're probably close to the lake's edge."

She shook her head quickly. "Oh gross, I hate frogs. They're so slimy and weird."

"I'm with you, there," Ron said. "Can't stand the texture. Also, having to dissect them? So gross."

"Right?! I almost fainted!" Anne said. "There's nothing worse than frogs!"

"Wait, there she is."

Both followed Dipper's call-out, turning to find the little girl standing between two trees, staring at them in curiosity, with a small smile on her face. Raising her left hand, her right holding her stuffed rabbit close to her side, she waved excitedly at them and then bolted away from them into the mist.

Dipper sighed. "Oh great, she thinks this is a game."

"Uhh… hey!" Anne called as she broke into a run after her. "Little girl? Little clown? Clown girl, wait up! We just want to get you back to the camp!"

Dipper was one step behind her, shouldering his bag, and Ron brought up the rear. Up ahead of them, the girl ran along at a high rate, outpacing their long strides by frequency of squeaky footfalls. With her pursuers still more than a dozen paces behind her, she abruptly dipped behind a larger tree than some of its neighbors.

Anne reached the tree first and followed it around to where the girl was, with Dipper and Ron on her heels. "Hey, slow down! You're not even supposed to be out here!"

Rounding the tree, she caught a glimpse of the girl and doubled her pace. "Hey!"

The three chased the girl, circuiting the tree twice but Anne could only keep sight of the hem of her skirt and the ankles of her shoes. After the second revolution, she looked back at Dipper. "Cut her off!"

Ron and Dipper stopped and doubled back, rounding the tree and nearly running into Anne–none seeing the girl.

They stared at one another, in confusion. "Wait."

A squeaky step alerted Ron, and he looked back to see the girl behind him, waving. "There, double back!"

"Right!" His companions responded, and they back-tracked, once again missing the girl and almost colliding again.

"Hold on, what?" Anne asked.

This time Dipper heard the squeak, and he turned to find the girl peeking behind the tree at him.

Something weird was going on.

"Ron? Anne? Hold it." When Ron turned to him, he gestured to the direction he came from. "Go back around, slowly. Anne, step back from the tree."

Ron complied with a "You got it!" and slowly walked the whole circumference of the tree, coming back around to find Dipper. He looked back at the way he came, then around. "Hold on, where'd she…?"

Dipper called out to Anne. "Did you see her?"

"Uh, yeah, but…" Anne pointed to her left and there was the girl, peeking from behind another tree a good six meters away. She once more waved.

Dipper and Ron looked at one another, then at the girl, who dipped behind the tree.

"… And now I'm back to being scared," Ron said aloud.

Dipper glanced at him. "Come on."

The three walked instead of ran, Dipper extending his hand to her. "Hey, listen, we're not trying to hurt you or anything. We're just worried about you being out here by yourself. Are you from the Clown Camp? Can we walk you back there?"

The girl peeked out again, and her expression brightened as the teenagers came closer, but then it just as quickly shifted, and she looked disappointed.

As though, suddenly, the fun was over.

Dipper, Ron, and Anne stopped, as the question of why she looked so sad flashed through their minds.

An instant later, there was the crackling of branches followed by a thunderous thud as something came to a hard landing directly behind the little girl. Slowly, a very large, muscularly built figure. It was a woman, at least seven feet tall, wearing black boots and dark blue waders held up by white suspenders, and a blue and dark-blue horizontal-striped sweater. Like the little clown girl, she had sandy brown hair and clown makeup on–but she had glaring eyes with glowing yellow sclera, and a mouth full of gold-colored, razor-sharp pointed teeth like a shark's.

The three teens let a whole moment pass as the very large and muscular clown stared at them breathing deeply, steadily, and angrily. Rufus, alerted by the noises, peeked up again out of Ron's pocket, saw the giant clown, and for a third time squeaked out a "Nope!" before hiding again.

Ron turned to Dipper and gestured at her.

"I'm with him on this one. No," he said firmly and with a very strong emphasis of how he felt about this exact moment in time and space.

Without saying as much, Dipper definitely had to give it to Ron on this one.

He turned and looked at Anne. "No, right?"

"Right. No, absolutely not," Anne said quickly..

The very large, very intimidating, and very angry clown then opened her mouth and roared at them with a sound that would strike a tiger with awe.

Hint taken, the trio ran, screaming just as loud.

@@@@@​

If the sound of the forest wasn't being split by bestial roars and teenage screams, then it was the whine and howl of turbine engines as the Mad Jacks raced through the dense forest propelled by their jetpacks. The trio could and should fly above the canopy of pines rather than risk flying into a tree at speed, but that was only part of the thrill of the chase–the rush of battle.

Even the largest member of the trio, his visor cracked and chipped, with blood dribbling down his face, was having the time of his life as he weaved around trees headfirst trying to keep track of his target.

A flash of red hair ahead of him caught his eye, and raising his air rifle at Kim as she swung on her grappling hook line through the trees like she was a crusader of the caped variety. "Jack, I got eyes on the bandit! On your left, fifteen meters!"

He fired another burst as Kim landed on a branch, but she jumped off, sailing to his right and out of his line of fire.

Greg came to a halt in Kim's path and aimed his rifle at her, but Kim's cat-like grace and reflexes won again. Twisting herself around to avoid his burst of fire, she caught his right arm at the bicep and used her momentum to spin him around on the axis of his jet pack and change direction, launching herself away from him in the direction he came from.

The leader of the Mad Jacks was not deterred. "She's headed for you, Jaq!"

"I got her, Jack!"

Lower to the ground than the other two Jacks, Jaq aimed her rifle as Kim passed over her and fired, hoping to tag her with even one of the tranquilizer rounds loaded in her weapon. Kim twirled herself in mid-flight, positioning herself to avoid each projectile as she passed through the burst.

Reaching down and catching a branch at the end of her flight, she swung herself down and fired her grappling hook at Jaq as she fell towards the ground ten meters below. The grappling hook caught between Jaq's shoulder and the wing of her jetpack, and Kim winched herself in fast to kick the lady Mad Jack in the chest and drive her into a tree.

As the anchor returned to her gun's barrel, Kim leaped back with the grace of a swan, passing over and ahead of Greg and Jack's crossfire. Once more firing the grappling hook gun, she snagged the upper reaches of the tree and yanked herself upward through the canopy as darts rained onto the ground where she should have splattered herself.

Jaq let out an amazed laugh as she throttled up her jetpack. "Is she even real?!"

Reaching the end of the grappling hook, she let the momentum provided by the gun's magnetically accelerated winch launch her into the air, sailing above the treetops.

Wade contacted her at the top of her flight. "Kim, are you okay? Your pulse is skyrocketing!"

Kim let out a laugh as the Jacks broke through the canopy and closed in on her. "Wade? I am having a great night."

"Do you have a win condition against the Mad Jacks?" Wade asked.

Kim giggled again. "I'll think of something, it's no big."

Greg, seeing Kim start to fall, grinned. "We got you now. Jacks? Initiate the Jack Stream Attack!"

Jaq flew behind Greg. "Roger, Jack!"

Jack slotted in front of him. "In position, Jack!"

As all three raced towards her, Greg yelled out. "Let's jack her up!"

Kim looked and was pretty sure she saw this one in Wade's meme collection. She aimed her grappling hook gun at Jack.

"I win."

She fired at Jack, but he anticipated her aiming for him. She was going to use the line to winch herself at him, but that was where the beauty of the Jack Stream Attack struck. The second he closed with her or vice versa, she'd be wide open to the Jack directly behind him.

The grappling hook bolt, however, passed above Jack. Even better, she had missed, that means she had no more options. She was wide open to an attack, and–again–if she somehow got past him, there were still two more Jacks behind him to hit her.

It was when the line went taut, and Kim accelerated toward him that he was confused. What had she grappled with?

The answer was Greg, who didn't expect the grappling hook to catch between the back of his right shoulder and the trailing edge of his jetpack's right wing. "Jacks, she got me!"

Pulling herself in, Kim let the line go slack and dropped under the speeding Jack, letting the line of her grappling hook catch in the gap between his shoulder and chest armor. As the rope went taut again, she swung up and drove both her feet into Greg's exposed stomach. The wind knocked out of him, Greg had no way to control himself as he and Jack–their jetpacks still going, were pulled into a dive by the wire caught in the bigger Jack's armor.

Jaq, stopping short of crashing into her lead's back, could only watch as the two Jacks and Kim tumbled towards the ground like a jet powered wheel. As they fell, the grappling gun's line winched and yanked the two Jacks together, providing Kim two burly shock absorbers to protect her as they crashed through several trees towards the ground. At the very last second, Kim jumped and landed in a roll on the soft ground while the two Jacks hit it with much more force.

Whipping her grappling gun around to free the line from Jack's armor, Kim winched it back until the hook returned and retracted into the barrel of the gun.

She turned around and watched as Jaq came down with her rifle aimed at her. The last Mad Jack standing came to a hover in front of Kim opposite of her fellows. Checking their vitals, she was glad to see they were stable, just knocked out, but she didn't let her eyes leave Kim for a second.

"Okay," Kim said, "Now that we have a sec, can I just ask… what the heck?"

Jaq smirked. "If you don't write the check, you're not in the know. The Mad Jacks are discreet like that."

"Oh yeah, you guys just scream 'discreet.'" Kim aimed her grappling gun at Jaq. "How about I put you down with your bros, and then you Sad Jacks can explain your whole business to the Sheriff?"

The remaining Mad Jack chuckled. "If you think you can, come at me!"

With that, Kim and Jaq aimed down their respective sights at one another. As the seconds ticked by, there was only the steady whine of Jaq's turbine jetpack while the two women stared each other down.

Jaq's grin of anticipation was reflected by her finger trembling on her trigger.

In turn, Kim's smirk went from confident to challenging, her finger stone still on hers.

The spell of tension broke, however, when Ron, Anne, and Dipper came sprinting through the clearing. So preoccupied with their panicked flight back to Camp Gottagrin, they didn't' even notice the two Mad Jacks as they leaped over them.

Ron did notice Kim, though, and called out. "KIM! GET OUT OF THE WOODS! KILLER CLOWNS! KILLER CLOWNS!"

Kim looked at Ron's fleeing back. "Killer Clowns–?" Then she realized that it was Ron out in the woods. "Wait, Ron?!"

Her face lighting up in recognition, Jaq turned and fired her rifle at Ron, tagging him in the back of his neck with a single tranquilizer dart.

"KILLER CLOWNS WITH GIANT TEETH ARE GONNABububuh…" In an instant Ron was unconscious and fell face first into the dirt.

Kim immediately forgot about Jaq. "Ron!"

As she raced to help her friend, Jaq stowed her rifle, grabbed the downed Jacks by their jetpacks and shot into the sky. "Jack Extraction times two!" she yelled, flying into the night. The sound of Jaq taking flight, and the fact Ron was not with them caused Dipper and Anne to stop.

"Ron?" Dipper asked before he looked back and saw Kim kneeling over him. "Crap!"

Both ran over, Anne joining Kim's side, too concerned for Ron's condition to be terrified. "Is he all right?"

Kim checked the back of Ron's neck, as Rufus scrambled up and carefully removed the dart. As he held it up to her, Kim used her sunglasses to record data on the projectile. "Wade, can you ID this?"

Wade quickly replied. "It's a non-lethal infiltration round used by US SOCOM. It injects a fast-acting tranquilizer that sends signals for the brain to enter a sleep cycle."

Kim was glad she didn't let any of those hit her. "Is it dangerous? Do we need to get him to a hospital?"

"No, he'll wake up in a few hours just fine, but it's a good thing we know what we're up against. I know how to counter this kind of thing."

Kim looked at Anne. "He's going to be fine." She held up the dart. "It's just a tranquilizer."

The other girl stared at it. "Really, let me see."

In her haste to grab it, she pricked herself.

Kim gasped. "Wait no, don't–!"

Anne recoiled. "Ow! Dang it, I…" Her eyes grew heavy. "… Huh… it really is a…" She began to nod off. "Tranquilize…" She slumped to the ground, asleep.

Kim and Dipper stared at their sleeping friends, and then looked at each other. Dipper then asked. "You said SOCOM. These are the nanomachine based tranqs, because chemical doses are too unpredictable, right?"

Wade was intrigued. "That's right… who else is there?"

"Another visitor at Cheer Camp." She replied as she began to move Ron, hoisting him onto her shoulder.

"Hi, I'm Dipper," he introduced himself to Wade as he hoisted Anne up over his right shoulder. He offered his left to Kim. "I'll take him."

Kim arched an eyebrow at him. "I can handle."

"Yeah, but if we get attacked by anything else out here, you'll need your hands free, right?" Dipper asked.

That was reasonable enough for Kim to hand Ron over to him without argument. "What are you three doing out here, anyway? Were you following Gil, too?"

With Ron and Anne over his shoulders, Dipper began briskly walking with Kim back towards Camp Gottagrin. "No? We were doing some paranormal investigation." He realized what Kim said. "Wait, why were you following Gil?"

Letting out a sigh, Kim raised her hand up in a warding off gesture. "I… was just making sure he wasn't up to anything sinister, but all I saw was something I so wish I didn't."

"What, is that why you were fighting that jetpack woman?"

"No, actually I don't even know why that happened, but I'm going to find out." Looking at the peacefully sleeping Ron, Kim chewed her lower lip for a bit before asking Dipper. "If he asks? Don't tell him what I was doing out here."

Dipper found that curious. "Why?"

Rufus was similarly curious, chattering out gibberish ending with "Why?"

Kim was up front. "Last time Ron dealt with Gil, he did it alone–and he shouldn't have to again."

"Are you sure you want to keep him out of the loop?" Wade asked. "The Mad Jacks jumped you for no reason. It might not involve Gil, but there's something weird going on."

"Tell me about it," Dipper muttered.

"I'm so sure," Kim replied. "This is Ron's time, and I'll take on every weirdo in these woods if that's what it takes for him to enjoy it."

On that note. "… So… why were you screaming about clowns?"

Dipper brought his free hand up to his mouth and cleared his throat. "Um… we may have seen a scary clown over by clown camp. Nothing too weird, they just kinda snuck up on us."

Kim immediately shuddered. "I'm gonna be real–I'm not the biggest fan of clowns. So, uh, unless you're getting into some actual trouble with Clown Camp, leave me out."

It surprised Dipper that Kim would be so candid. "Wait, you're afraid of clowns?"

Kim chuckled. "No, I just fight them every week."

Dipper, Wade, and Rufus all burst into laughter, while Ron and contentedly snored into the night.

@@@@@​

High above and several miles away from Lake Gottagrin, a saucer-shaped, gray and black airship with red highlights hovered, kept aloft by three large lifting fans on its sides and at its tail. Inside the ship, Jaq hit both Greg and Jack with hypodermic injectors, rousing both men to consciousness. Greg immediately lashed out, as if to shoot at Kim, but only found the well-lit interior of his advanced airship.

"Report, Jaq," Greg ordered.

"Needed to use a distraction to disengage from HVT and exfil, Jack," Jaq responded. "We didn't do a dang thing to her."

Greg laughed. "I know! She's the real deal, the client low-balled her into the ground!"

Jack spoke up. "We're getting our get-back though, right Jack?"

"We go when the Client says we go, Jack. Tonight was just to feel it out and see what we're working with. For now, Jacks, we sit back and wait for orders while we work out strats for the next engagement."

Jaq punched her fist into her palm. "Oh yeah! I'm already brainstorming some wicked maneuvers that'll have Possible losing her mind, Jack!"

"You start writing them down, Jaq." Greg turned to Jack. "And you hit the marketplace for some components, Jack. Next time we enter the AO, I want the intensity jacked up to 12!"

"You got it, Jack!" Jack and Jaq replied, before getting up and going to work while chanting "Mad Jacks!" loud and aggressively.

Chanting with them, Greg headed to another corner of the ship, before he brought a hand up to his headset and made a call out.

"This is Jack, checking in. Did you see everything you needed to?"

Down at Camp Gottragrin, as the last lights in the cabins went out–leaving only a few walkway lamps and the flashlights of chaperones to light the campground, a woman on the other end of the line replied to Jack as she watched the camp go dark from the dining and recreation hall.

"I almost can't believe what I saw." She spoke sharply, with a light English accent. "I've watched the news, and read every absurd claim about her. It just doesn't seem real that someone so young can be so capable."

Jack replied. "I had doubts myself, but not anymore. She's real, she's so freaking real, whoo!"

The woman he spoke to reached into a pocket on the apron she wore and pulled out a kitchen knife with a blade so thin it looked like it was made of glass, and gave off a soft, electric blue glow.

"Then before you have another go at her, allow me to test how her realness holds up," the woman said as she ran her finger back and forth along the back of the knife.

"… Against the edge of a blade."

= - = Part 1-6 = - =​

... Why she's the GOAT.