[Konosuba] A Goddess's Champion

[AndrewJTalon]

Everyone's been aged up to legal, no worries, blah blah blah.
- - -

Given Aqua's stats, it seemed ridiculous that she could be hurt... But a construction site was still dangerous, no matter what your stats are. And hey... Her intelligence and luck were still shit.

I heard her scream on the other side of the building we were working on. I ran to the sound, fully expecting to find her having dropped some bricks or something, again...

Any thought of mocking her vanished the second I got a look at her. Her foot was smashed under a load of bricks. Some of the other workers were pulling the bricks off as fast as they could. I heard someone yell about getting a priest from the temple of Eris.

It was twenty minutes away.

I dropped down and held Aqua. She was sobbing in her agony. She immediately clutched onto me, desperate eyes filled with tears boring into me.

Goddamnit... I didn't have any spells, she was the healer! But she couldn't do anything, not in this state! Shit, shit, shit, what could I do?! What could I do?! She was a goddess, and she was helpless to... To...

Wait. She was a goddess in human form, but she had to listen to prayers, right? And fulfill them?

"HEY!" I shouted at the nearby workers trying to clear the bricks. "Pray with me! Pray to Aqua!"

"What?" One of the leaders asked in disbelief. "What's that gonna do-?!"

"I'm a follower of Eris!" Shouted the other.

"Aqua's a priestess of Aqua! Pray to her! DO IT! RIGHT NOW!" I shouted frantically. I looked back down into Aqua's eyes. She was in so much pain, pleading with me in silence to do something. I stroked her head. I took a deep breath. I was already on my knees, so I bent my head and closed my eyes.

"Aqua... Lady Aqua," I prayed, "Please heal this woman. Please hear my prayer. Please... Help my... Help my friend. Heal her. I pray to you, please, hear my plea! PLEASE!"

Come on... Work... WORK... WORK DAMNIT!

Aqua's body lit up with magic. In an instant, smacked muscles and broken bones mended themselves. Aqua panted hard, clutching at me tightly. I opened my eyes and smiled in triumph, as the local workers gasped in shock.

"It-It's a miracle!"

"She answered our prayers!"

"Praise be to Aqua!"

"It's okay," I murmured, "You're okay."

She sniffled, and hugged me tightly as she cried. This wasn't loud crying and wailing like she'd usually do. They were quiet, girly sobs of relief.

They were... Almost cute?

NOPE! Nope! Not even gonna go down that route! Aqua has been nothing but an annoyance from day one and that hasn't changed! Not even now!

"Hey! Kazuma, Aqua!"

The foreman walked up. I looked up to him.

"Ah, boss-?"

"Hey," the Foreman said, "You two head home, huh? Full pay today. You've gone through enough."

He shook his head, and dished out a few gold coins.

"Hell, here. You two recover in the inn for tonight. You shouldn't rest in some stables after that!"

"W-Wow, thanks!" I gasped in amazement. The old man was tough but fair, but being generous like this? It was incredible!

"Come on, Aqua," I said, helping her up. "You good to walk?"

"Y-yeah," Aqua admitted, "Um... My boots-"

The foreman shook his head.

"Don't worry about them. We'll get ya some old ones tomorrow. Go on!"

"Er... Kazuma," Aqua said, "You uh... You mind carrying me? Ya know, given my injury, and all..."

I sighed. I pulled her onto my back. She clung to me tightly, as though afraid to slip off. And I could feel... Her breasts... Her thighs-

NO! NO! NONE OF THAT! THIS IS AQUA DAMNIT! YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!

"That was honestly amazing!" One of the workmen who had prayed said. He grinned. "I think I'll join the Axis Temple!"

"Me too!"

"Same here! I mean... I love Lady Eris, but that kind of miracle is astonishing!"

Aqua grinned.

"Well... Seeing as I'm an archpriestess, I'm very glad to welcome you into the fold!" Aqua said cheerfully. "Meet me in the temple this Sabbath and we'll work things out from there to serve the greatest goddess ever!"

I sighed. Well, at least that was the same about her...

- - -

Of course we only had enough money for one room at the inn. I sighed, still warm and fresh from the baths.

"Still... Beats sleeping in a stable," I mumbled. I was going to switch to my tracksuit, when the door opened. In walked Aqua, in her magically generated clothes. Her hair was down though, and she was drying it with a towel. It actually looked very nice on-

NOOOOO! SHE'S THE USELESS GODDESS SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP-!

"H-Hey," I managed, keeping my eyes away from her face.

"Hey," Aqua said softly. She shut the door behind her. She walked up to me. "So uh... One bed, huh?"

"Yup, one bed," I chuckled.

Aqua nodded slowly.

"Good," she said.

"Good," I replied.

Silence fell again. Aqua cleared her throat again.

"Um... I... I wanted to thank you."

I chanced a glance at her face-She was blushing, and her eyes were averted. With her hair down I-

NO NO NO SHUT UP SHUT UP STOP! DON'T YOU DARE!

"I... You know... W-We're in this together," I stuttered. "We uh, we have to defeat the Demon King to send you home and all, right? So, no worries."

"You prayed to me," Aqua murmured. "You... You believed in me enough to save me?"

"I... It was a hunch?" I tried. "I mean uh... I thought it would work... I wanted to save you-"

"You believe in me?"

I blinked at her. The question was filled with a kind of anxiety. All this time so far, I thought I'd figured this bratty goddess out. But the way she looked at me, vulnerable, almost desperate...

Look. I'm an asshole. But I'm not that big of a dick.

"Yeah... Yeah. I believe in you, Aqua," I murmured.

She lit up like the sun. Her eyes, as clear blue as the sea, seemed to glow. It was like I could see the sea in its entirety, from the foamy surface down to the mysterious depths. Something truly divine, especially in the warmth of her smile-

NO! NO! STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!

Aqua interrupted my mental admonishment by clearing her throat, none too delicately.

"Can you check your Adventurer's Card?" She asked softly.

I blinked. I rummaged for the card in my tracksuit and pulled it out. I looked over my stats. My eyes widened in shock.

"Huh?!"

I mean... They weren't stellar, but everything had jumped up by a few points! My luck and intelligence had also been improved!

"Huh? How...?"

My eyes went down to some text on the card. My jaw dropped.

Divine Champion - You are Blessed by the Goddess Aqua

Aqua rested a hand on my own. She squeezed it. I looked up into Aqua's warm eyes. I suddenly noticed she was very, very close...

She breathed out softly, warm air washing over my face. My cheeks went red at the soft, genuine smile she gave me.

"Kazuma..."

"Y-yes, I'm Kazuma," I stuttered.

"I felt your prayer. You were so... So genuine, so caring for me... How could I not make you my champion?" She asked softly. "I-I mean... The stat boosts will be modest, for now, but you'll grow even more. We'll have better synergy, I'll be able to buff and boost you better... And..."

She pressed her forehead to mine.

"You have served me so well," Aqua murmured, "I should-I want to reward my champion."

I wanted to open my mouth to protest. I wanted to tense my muscles to pull away. A voice in my head was still screaming that this was Aqua, the bratty goddess who had mocked me for my death and been utterly useless so far...

Then she kissed me. My first kiss ever. And... Goddamnit.

I kissed her back.

Maybe later I'll blame her making me her champion for my sudden intelligence drop. It would make sense, why I was pulling her onto the bed with me and kissing her back clumsily.

But not tonight.

- - -

Now... A sane guy wouldn't ask why a hot but bratty goddess decided to take his virginity. Why we went that far. It wasn't something most guys would question, they'd just be on their knees thanking said goddess for even giving them the chance.

Even as we cuddled in the bed after, sweaty, sated, happy... I couldn't keep my big, stupid mouth shut.

"Aqua?"

"Mm?" She asked, resting her head on my chest and letting her beautiful blue hair cascade like a waterfall all over my body.

Hey, I can be poetic at times like this. Fuck you very much, I've read poems!

"I... Uh... I mean..."

Though you wouldn't know it by how utterly inarticulate I sounded. She looked up at me, still smiling that bewitching smile of hers.

"... Why?" I asked. I mean, sure she was a dim bulb, but maybe she could figure it out?

"Why what?"

"Why... Me? Why..." I waved my free hand around. Aqua blinked and processed it... Then smiled in a way that was sad and happy and gorgeous and-

Fuck. Damnit. No. No, I can't afford to be an idiot! I can't!

"I've... Never been a mortal."

I blinked at her soft response.

"Huh?"

"I mean, I guess I'm technically a demigoddess? I can't access my full power, except in emergency situations, but..." Aqua shook her head. "I've never lived like this. I got everything I ever wanted or desired in Heaven with just a thought. I'm... I'm not actually human, up there. I'm more like energy. Here I'm flesh and blood and I've... I've never experienced that before."

I blinked slowly, the implications rolling around in my mind.

"Oh," I replied intelligently. Aqua continued.

"I hate having to work hard, having to feel hunger, and thirst, and tired," she went on, looking away, "I hate being too hot, or too cold, sore, dirty, exhausted... It sucks."

"Y-Yeah... Yeah, it does," I murmured, a stab of guilt going through me. Geez... Even if she was a bitch, I did steal her away from everything she ever knew. All just for my selfish motives. God... This girl made me feel so superior one instant and like the lowest of the low the next.

"It made me realize how hard you humans have it," she said, "And... How terrible a goddess I've been."

I once again blinked.

"What do you mean?"

"The Church of Axis was once the biggest religion on this world," Aqua explained, "Temples, centers of learning, great cities-All in my name. So many great art works, temples, books, paintings... So much was made when I first started. I... I wanted to make life better for humanity. I wanted to be a beacon of hope and justice and compassion... What god doesn't? I mean... Those who work for God, the Supreme God-It's complicated."

She pouted a bit, which made me laugh softly and pat her head affectionately. She leaned into it, before she heaved a heavy sigh.

"I... My junior, my mentee goddess, Eris... She got promoted. She started her religion on this world... And she did a much, much better job than I did. My faith fell apart in a few centuries. It's now down to a few small temples. She didn't mean to do it, she was just... So much better. And so I stopped caring. I started to hate my job. I stopped paying attention. I... I forgot why I had started my religion. Why I had worked so hard. It all fell into ruin and decay."

She struggled a bit with herself, but forced her eyes back up to mine.

"Living like this reminded me why mortals need the divine. Why we need to keep working as part of the mission. Why... Why I even exist," she murmured, "Even you, who know... Who know me. All my flaws... You believe in me. You believed that I could be a force for good, That I could do... What I was meant to do. To feel that? That just... It put everything into perspective. I realize why humans struggle, for those triumphs. Those wonderful moments. That happiness. A happiness a goddess is supposed to help them achieve."

She smiled beatifically at me, even as hot tears ran from her eyes.

"How could I not love you, Kazuma? After you helped me realize who I'm supposed to be?"

My throat was dry. I tried to open my mouth to respond, but no words would come.

She loved me. She loves me? How... How did I even...? Where did I begin...?

Ah. I needed to do something. Even a shut-in like me knew it. Well... Former shut-in.

I'd say losing my virginity and earning the love of a goddess changes things a lot.

Even so, I didn't really know quite how to process this. I just had to hope that Aqua would understand that.

"Kazuma?"

I kissed her. It was much easier than trying to explain my conflicted emotions. A lot more fun, too.

We would sort it out... Eventually.

I believed that, holy shit. It's official... I have it bad.

I may be doomed.

... All the more reason to keep kissing her.

- - -

Well, you guys talked me into it. Here's another Konosuba story when I could be working on other stuff. I hope you're happy.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Yet more...

- - -

I woke up to Aqua on top of me. I groaned, as I saw the sun rising outside the window.

"Uh... Aqua... W-We gotta get to work," I said.

"Mmm... But we have the room until noon~," Aqua crooned. She did something that made my eyes cross.

"Ah... B-But... We gotta... Have to...!"

"What's more important? Work? Or..."

She leaned in and whispered hotly in my ear.

"Accepting the love of your goddess~?"

... Yeah, this was a no brainer.

- - -

It was easy to spot the Boss as we got to the construction site. He was glaring at us as we ran up, a tall, heavily muscled bald man with a rough, bushy beard and mustache. I tried to pull my hand out of Aqua's grasp as we approached, but she tightened her grip.

"You two are really late," he stated, "It's the middle of the afternoon!"

"Ah, w-we are really sorry, Boss," I said, bowing very low with my back ramrod straight. "Really sorry. Uh... I mean, Aqua's injury, and all..."

I peeked up under my bangs. The Boss's scowl remained hard, as though etched in stone.

"Please kid, I was young once too," he scoffed. I blushed, as did Aqua. God she looked so pretty that way-

STOP IT!

The Boss heaved a sigh, and shook his head. He smiled nostalgically.

"You two remind me of my wife and I, when we were first starting out as adventurers," he said wistfully, "I was an Adventurer once too, you know!"

"Really?" I asked. The Boss nodded.

"Yup. Which is why I'm firing you both."

Our faces fell. My stomach felt like a hole had opened up in it.

"I come to work to escape my wife! I don't need to be reminded of her all the damn time!"

Shit... Shit... I mean...

Did I regret losing my virginity and having hot sex with a goddess who loved me all night, most of the morning, and through lunch?

... Fuck no!

But this was, at the very least, a considerable inconvenience.

"I don't want to go back to the stables," Aqua whimpered.

The Boss groaned loudly.

"Look you two lovebirds! This ain't a charity! I gotta make money! Got mouths to feed and bills to pay!" He rubbed the back of his head, grinding his teeth. "But... I can give you your last paycheck, and one last little job, all right?"

He turned, rummaged around in the pile of supplies, and yanked out a very large cloth sack. He set it down in front of us.

"Here. I want you to haul this old junk away."

"What kind of old junk?" I asked, untying the bag and opening it. My eyes widened. I reached in, and pulled out a short, curved sword. "Huh?"

"Level 2 Cutlass," the Boss said, "Not much, but it's got more heft than a standard short sword or dagger. You should be able to handle it. There's a few daggers, potions, some more low level armor and equipment... Maybe a few eris coins-Take that as a tip."

We both stared at the Boss. His face went red behind his white bushy beard.

"I told you, I used to be an Adventurer myself! Adventurer class! I did it until I could make enough money to start my construction business!" He barked. "You're trying to become a real Adventurer, right? All those advanced classes looked down on us for being the ultimate Jacks of All Trades! Well, I'm not letting some newbie adventurer and his bimbo girlfriend make us look bad! That equipment's just taking up space in my attic, so you're taking care of it and I'm paying you a fair wage! That way, you don't complain to your friends that I'm a shitty boss and no one wants to work for me, got it?!"

"I uh..." I slowly nodded, bewildered. "Y-Yeah... Thanks."

I tried to pick up the bag... And grunted. It was a lot heavier than the construction supplies I'd been hauling around for the last few months, and while I'd seen some stat increases from that exercise, it still wouldn't budge.

"I can get it," Aqua said cheerfully, "I've got Strength-!"

"Bah! What kind of an Adventurer didn't grab Strength when he could!" The Boss scoffed. "A lot of us have been using it all this time!"

"W-Wait, you have?" I asked. "How could I learn it, then?"

The Boss rolled his eyes.

"You're lucky I don't want you disgracing my class, kid," he grumbled. "Give me your adventurer's card."

I handed it over. The Boss took it, and pointed out some glowing words on the paper.

"See? Whenever a skill is demonstrated in front of you, you can spend skill points to learn it," he said. "Go ahead, Tap STRENGTH."

I did so... And my body was flooded with energy. I gasped-I felt stronger, more limber. I reached down and picked up the bag of equipment. It was still heavy, but I could lift it. Even carry it for a time.

"There, that's better," the Boss said, "It's a passive, automatically activated skill. Uses a little mana at the start of every day. Right now, probably a sixth of your total pool. But you can regenerate that quickly."

"Wait, that's how you learn skills?" Aqua asked in amazement. The Boss shook his head.

"Where are you two even from?"

"Uh, far away," I said quickly, scowling at Aqua to keep quiet. She pouted back, but nodded. "Ah, still... That's great to know, Boss."

He scowled at us harder, his eyes locked on the cutlass.

"You know how to use that?"

"I-I mean, I started with One-Handed Sword-"

"Ugggh," the Boss groaned. He grabbed a short wooden planks, and gestured for me to drop the bag and follow him. I did so, walking over to the grassy field near the construction site. He turned to face me, holding the plank like a sword.

"Right... You've got just enough skill points for two last skills," he said. "First? Sword Dance."

His body glowed yellow for a brief moment, and then he moved with grace, speed, and agility, thrusting his wooden stick and parrying invisible blows. Aqua and I watched in awe at the demonstration of skill, before he stopped.

"Basic enhancement skill. Makes you look like you're not a total embarrassment to swordsmen everywhere," he stated. "And, one that's perfect for your class-Critical Hit!"

His sword glowed red. Before I could even react... The Boss had thrust the wooden pole right into my crotch. My eyes crossed in agony as I fell, clutching my crotch. I threw up, and tears fell from my eyes.

"KAZUMA!" Aqua cried, falling to her knees at my side.

"Combined with Sword Dance, Strength, and your insanely high Luck Stat," the Boss said, though I barely comprehended through the pain, "That'll at least let you start slaying some low level monsters. If your bimbo girlfriend buffs you enough, you two can start clearing some mobs. Make some actual coin."

"It's okay, it's okay!" Aqua cried. She held her hand over my crotch. "Heal!"

In an instant, all my pain vanished. I took some deep breaths, and smiled up at Aqua through my tears.

"Thanks Aqua-EEP!"

"Oh good, it's all in working order," Aqua sighed happily.

"N-Not in public!" I hissed.

"But we did it in that back alley before we got here-"

"Aquaaaa!"

I got back to my feet, and took some more deep breaths. Aqua again reached for me... And I took her hand in mind. Best not to give her more ideas. I looked to the Boss, and smiled warmly.

"I... Thank you," I said, "F-For everything."

The Boss grunted.

"Bah! I didn't do anything," he said, "Just didn't want you two to ruin my business by claiming I'm an unfair bastard. And I wanted to get rid of some worthless clutter. And make sure you two didn't get yourselves killed. My wife and I went through a lot together. Had a lot of close shaves. If we didn't get some help, we wouldn't be here."

He glared.

"That kind of guilt would ruin a meal! So don't fuck it up! And don't show your faces to me again until you've made something of yourselves! ... Not that I care if you do!"

"... Can you be my dad?" I murmured.

I mean, considering my dad back on Earth... The Boss was an improvement in every single way.

Said Boss flushed deeply.

"D-Don't say stupid shit like that! ... Incidentally, here is my address if you want to stop by for dinner some time and your last paychecks," he said, holding out a sheet of paper and some eris coins. "Bring a gift! That's just manners! Bah! I've wasted enough time. I've got work to do!"

He stalked off, his face still burning bright red.

"What a strange... Nice man," Aqua commented.

I grinned at her. Geez, Aqua should have crushed her foot sooner!

"Still! We're in business! Let's grab a quest-!"

"Tomorrow," Aqua stated flatly. "It's too late to go out and night quests would suck."

"Aw," I muttered. "But I want to try out my new skills..."

"And I want to have more hot sex with my champion," Aqua stated.

"... You win."

Aqua beamed.

"I knew I would! The great Goddess Aqua always wins!"

I sighed, and rubbed her head affectionately.

"You sure do."

"You don't have to sound so sarcastic about it!"

- - -

Seriously, in a world where you can learn skills just by observing them, why wouldn't everyone have a character card? Kazuma and Aqua should have learned this way sooner. But in this case, their display of true love moved the heart of the foreman to give them some of his old, outdated inventory. A lot of RPG players keep junk in their inventories for a wide variety of reasons, so why not the Boss?

Don't worry though, Kazuma's still gonna learn from Chris and Wiz. He's just starting with a slightly different build a bit earlier this time around. It's amazing what happens to your CHA when you suddenly get a loving, smoking hot girlfriend who is also a goddess...

 

[AndrewJTalon]

- - -



Okay. The quest we got was very simple, but also paid pretty well. We were in the early summer season, and the heat had dried up a lot of local streams and marshes. So a local monster that made these places their habitat were now intruding onto human farms.



They were giant frogs. Monstrous things, over three meters tall. Cows, pigs, goats, even people were all going missing-Eaten by these things.



Their meat was also sought after because it was tender and delicious, and a lot of their organs and bones were used in various potions. Kill five of them, get 300,000 eris.



Seemed simple enough. And after another night of banging my goddess girlfriend into a happy pile of mush (And I had never thought I would say anything remotely like that), we headed out to start our first quest.



It was a relatively quick walk, only about thirty minutes, before we got to the small farming village nearby. The locals pointed us in the direction of the latest attacks, and we trooped out onto the green fields for a random encounter.



It didn't take long before we spotted one of them. It was huge, blue colored, with red highlights. It was just finishing tossing back a goat into its huge gullet. Seeing the goat still struggling made me a little queasy... But Aqua's hand on my shoulder helped me focus.



"Right," I said, pulling out my cutlass, "Buff me."



"You got it, Kazuma," Aqua chirped, "Mana Regen. Strength Boost. Agility Boost. Dexterity Boost. Health Boost. Health Regen. Stamina Boost..."



When it comes to gaming "styles", mine often fell into two categories, depending on the game. For simple RPGs without much substance or difficulty, just fighting and bashing and maybe some keyblades, I played it fast and loose and just shrugged when I lost. Those are more action games with a veneer of RPG stamped onto them. This doesn't make them bad games, just not very serious ones.



For the really hardcore games like Dark Souls or MMORPGs, I was much more serious. I would do every side quest. I would read every bit of lore. I would comb the forums for ideas and tactics. I would stock up on every single item I could get, I would experiment with my party set up, ability set up, everything, until I found one that worked.



A contradiction? Not really. A pro athlete isn't going to expend as much mental energy on a simple game for fun as they would for the finals.



Of course, there was a bit of a contradiction here already: This was a starter quest, something early in every game. You have the worst gear and maybe some items and you just bash some monsters real good to start building up.



Of course, this was easily explained by two things:



One... This was real. I'd died and ended up in this world, and I had no intention of dying again.



And two? Even in the easy, don't-think-much RPGs, I would still take advantage of every buff, every item, and every advantage I could to win. Sure, losing isn't quite as annoying in a game like that... But I don't like to lose, period.



So of course I looked through Aqua's adventurer card, and I had her cast every buff she knew on me. And it was a lot.



"... Haste And Limit Boost," Aqua finished, as the magic flowed over me. "How do you feel?"



I took a deep breath. Holy shit... How did you even begin to describe it? I was full of energy, all coursing through my veins like lightning. My mind was sharp, sharper than it's ever been in my life. I could make our Aqua's heartbeat, the crunching of goat bones, the exact angle of the sun... I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to throw her down and resume our activities last night. I wanted to run for miles.



"Amazing," I said honestly.



Aqua beamed at me. She kissed my cheek.



"Go get 'em."



I charged the first giant frog. It turned, and, just like in the description on the job poster, began to tense its muscles to unleash its tongue.



"Sword Dance," I murmured, the passive skill boosting my Agility and Evasion. I darted out of the way of the tongue strike-I wouldn't say it was moving in slow motion, but it seemed slow and clumsy. My eyes locked onto the giant frog's jugular veins, their weakspot. I held up my cutlass.



"Critical Hit!"



I thrust right through the thing's skin, puncturing its slimy skin and severing all the arteries. It choked, gagged, maybe even whimpered... And then collapsed, dead.



I took a few deep breaths. Holy shit... I... I...!



"YOU DID IT!" Aqua cheered, jumping up and down behind me. I turned and grinned back up at her.



"YEAH! ONE DOWN!"



Aqua pointed behind me.



"MORE INCOMING!"



I looked. My eyes widened.



What the hell?!



Maybe fifteen of them were hopping our way. They weren't in a big mob, mind you, say three vague groups. But they were all moving in the same direction.



"What spooked them?" I muttered. I shook my head. "Doesn't matter. I'll-!"



One broke ahead of the pack, hopping for me. I readied my sword.



"I'll-!"



"I'LL GET THIS ONE!"



Aqua blazed right past me, having applied Haste and no doubt many other buffs. My jaw dropped.



"Aqua, wait-!"



"RELAX!" Aqua called back with a cocky grin, "I'M A GODDESS! I CAN HANDLE A LITTLE UGLY TOAD!"



"FROG!" I shouted back. I began running after her. "AND DON"T GET COCKY!"



"DON'T UNDERESTIMATE ME!" Aqua shouted. She pulled back her fist, and lunged for the quickly advancing frog. "HERE IT GOES! GODDESS...!"



Blue energy flared around her fist... And again, I thought back to the poster. I had read every line on it several times, because again... Hardcore Gamer Mode.



It had made two things very clear: These giant frogs were immune to blunt blows... And water.



"AQUA WAIT-!"



"BLOOOOOW!"



Her fist stuck the giant frog, blasting a huge amount of water everywhere. The frog's body wiggled, jiggled... And then settled down. It eyed Aqua hungrily. She laughed nervously.



"Ahaha... I-I always thought frogs were cute-"



It opened its maw wide, and chomped down on her, just as the rest of its fellows caught up. My grip tightened on my cutlass.



Intellectually, of course, I knew that Aqua was basically a demigoddess. Her stats were insanely high, aside from Luck and Int. She was very, very strong.



She was also essentially the embodiment of the element of water. These things were not a real threat to her. Not even.



I knew all that intellectually. If this was a game I would have calmly taken down the frog trying to eat her, grabbed her, and retreated to somewhere we could whittle away at the groups for the EXP.



I knew all of that.



"AQUA!"



... That's not remotely what I did. Not with rage screaming through my entire being.



"CRITICAL HIT!"



The frog trying to swallow Aqua suddenly lost the top of its head. It all went flying from my sword blow. Another frog tried to grab me, but I evaded with Sword Dance and slashed its stomach open. One managed to shoot its tongue at me, and it latched on. It yanked me back... And I drove the cutlass right through its brain.



Another frog approached-I slashed its front limbs off and thrust the blade through its brain, killing it instantly. Still another-Thrust right into its heart, and I ignored the gore and viscera that covered me. Another. Another. Another. Another. ANOTHER...



I didn't really have any conscious thoughts... I just acted.



A few began to flee. I chased after them. One I just stabbed through the brain from behind. I raced after the next one, and slashed its back legs apart. It skidded in front of me, still trying to drag itself away. I got on top of it and took out its brain, yanking back the absolutely gore covered blade.



A monstrous screech fell upon me. I looked up-Some kind of gigantic snake thing had slithered out of the woods, black armor, long tongue and fangs.



Oh... That's what was chasing them, I thought vaguely. It hissed, and lunged for me with its fangs outstretched. Sword Dance let me evade as it slammed its head and fangs into the giant frog carcass. Critical Hit did the rest.



I jammed my cutlass through its right eye, and it howled. I yanked it out and Danced around the howling snake monster, another Critical Hit letting me take out its other eye. The cutlass snapped as the blinded monster pulled its fangs out, shrieking.



Its head fell towards the ground, its mouth wide open. I charged right for it, the snapped cutlass out. Even with it like this, I could take out its brain, I could kill it-!



Everything... Stopped. My strength vanished. The world turned grey. I felt like I weighed fifty tons. I saw the ground rushing up to meet me. I heard my heartbeat stop. I heard Aqua scream my name.



Goddamnit... It was supposed to be... A starter quest...



- - -

 

[AndrewJTalon]

- - -

I caught a glimpse of a beautiful girl with white hair... Then...

"Ugggghhh..."

Since there really wasn't a legal age for alcohol consumption in this world, being based around Medieval Europe, I had enjoyed my first booze. And second. And third. And so on. So I knew what it felt like to be hungover.

This was a little like that. Just even worse. Even as I felt healing magic be poured into me, and cool water poured down my throat. I felt a familiar lap underneath my head. I managed to open my eyes.

"Hey," Aqua said, her beautiful blue eyes peering down at me. They were filled with relief and care, as she stroked my hair. "How are you?"

"... Tired... And confused," I mumbled. I could smell wood and charcoal and cooked meat. Behind Aqua was a wooden roof. "Where are we?"

"Farmer Endor's homestead," Aqua said softly, "He brought us here after the snake died."

"The... The snake died?" I asked. Aqua nodded.

"Yeah... Uh... The Cutlass had 'Inflict Bleeding' as a status effect. In your state, it was enough to make the snake bleed out."

"My state?" I managed to sit up. We were on a simple bed, in a plain bedroom in the homestead. I focused my eyes on Aqua. "What state? What happened?"

Aqua looked to the side, nervously clearing her throat.

"So uh... I mean... You know you're my champion, and all... Right?"

"Riiight," I deadpanned. Aqua coughed, and awkwardly poked her fingers together.

"Ummm... Well. It turns out that... In times of great distress... You can activate an... Enhanced state. That makes you fight better for a short time."

I blinked. I blinked again.

"Ohh... Like a Limit Break," I said with a nod, "Okay. So... So I unlocked that?"

"Y-Yeah," Aqua said, still determinedly staring at the bedspread as though it was the most fascinating thing in the world, "Um... It was... Kind of sweet, actually. You activating that to save me..." She blushed.

"What does it do?"

"Massive boosts all your stats for about thirty seconds," Aqua said, "No cooldown required between skill usage, Health and Mana on auto regenerate..."

I blinked.

"... And the downside?" I asked, very suspicious.

"Ummmm..." Aqua again evaded my eyes. "It uh... It turns out that at your level... If you use it... You could die."

A beat.

"... You almost died," she mumbled.

"What?!" I gasped. "Wh-Why didn't you tell me?!"

"I didn't think you'd be using it so soon!" Aqua shouted. "What kind of shonen bullshit is this?!"

"I was worried you were going to die-"

"I was more worried about you!" Aqua shouted angrily. Her chest heaved as she took in deep breaths. Tears again began to fall from her eyes. I coughed.

"I-I mean... I'm fine, right? No lasting harm," I said gently. "And uh..."

I grimaced. Okay, this was really fucked up. Seriously fucked up. The idea creeped the hell out of me. After all, I'd already died once. Once should be enough.

But with how upset she was... I mean...

"I mean... It's not like I'd be happy about it... But if you had to, I did see 'Resurrect' as one of your skills, and-"

Aqua broke down into sobs, and grabbed me. She buried her face in my chest. Unlike a lot of her earlier crying, this was ugly sobbing. Snot dripping from her nose, red eyes, clenched teeth.

I looked down on her... And I still thought she was gorgeous.

"I don't care!" She bawled. "I don't want to watch you die! I-I don't want to imagine it! WOULD YOU BE FINE SEEING ME DIE, EVEN IF YOU KNEW YOU COULD BRING ME BACK?!"

It really shouldn't have been said at this point, but...

"NO!" I shouted. "I WOULD NEVER BE OKAY WITH THAT!"

Aqua continued to sob, clutching at me as her shoulders shook.

"... I know it," she sobbed, "I know that if you died... I could bring you back... I would bring you back. I would always bring you back... But it hurts... Why does it hurt so much...?"

I didn't really have an answer for that. I just hugged my goddess, stroked her back and her hair, and let her cry it out.

She managed to calm down, after a little while. I had no idea of knowing how long it was. I pulled out a handkerchief from my belt pouch (no idea why the Boss had left that) and dried her eyes and face. She scrunched up her cheeks like a child, but nuzzled back into my hand after a bit.

"It's all right," I murmured, "We did it. We're okay... We won."

"R-Right," Aqua mumbled. She shuddered.

"I hate the smell of frog," she groaned.

I chuckled, stroking her hair.

"Yeah, same," I said. "Thanks for cleaning my clothes."

"I did what I could but the smell is still there," Aqua groaned.

There was a knock at the door. I cleared my throat.

"Come in?"

A tall, tanned man wearing a broad hat and other typical farmer clothing entered, smiling.

"Hey. You two okay?"

"We're a lot better, thanks," I said. "Farmer Endor?"

"Just call me Farm! Farmer is too formal!" Endor said cheerfully. We both blinked.

"Uh... Sure," I said, "So... I hope you're satisfied with the job we did?"

Farm laughed and nodded.

"Hell yes! Wowee! That many frogs gone, we ain't gonna have to worry about them for a while! They avoid areas where they can smell the blood of their kind! And that snake! Hooee! Oh uh, about all the carcasses... Listen. We're mighty short on meat right now. How's about a trade?"

Aqua scowled, but I gave her a look before I looked back at Farm.

"What kind of deal?"

"Well, dragging it all back to Axel ain't really practical for you two," Farm went on, "Yer strong, but that would take days. We're offering to butcher all the frogs, and the snake, and cart the materials into town to the guild... If you'll let us have half the frogs. What do you say? We cain't eat the snake. Though if we could get it into town, it might help us more..."

I shrugged. I mean, we'd done the quest requirements and there were diminishing returns on more of them killed. Probably because of the smell of their blood driving them away. And I really didn't think Aqua would be up to hauling all these corpses back to town with me.

"Sounds fair," I said, "But what do you mean, help us more?"

I was sensing a flag here.

Farm pulled off his hat, and rubbed the back of his head. He frowned deeply, his eyes looking down.

"About a year ago, a new ancient dungeon got opened up," he said, "And all sorts of critters have been escaping it. Some of the adventurers fight 'em, but it's not easy. Most of them are infected with some kind of cursed plague. Lady Wiz out of Axel visits sometimes to help. She says it was some kind of ancient plague made by a Demon King long ago. Some adventurers sealed it up so they could go in from time to time, but monsters keep escaping."

He clutched his hat between his hands, and looked at us with a pleading expression.

"A lot of our townsfolk... Children and old folks, mostly... Came down with the plague. The monsters can be used to make an antidote, but it ain't no cure. A few Eris priests have visited, but they can't dispel it."

My gamer senses were tingling. Holy shit, a bonus sidequest!

"Actually," I said, "We might be able to solve that problem too."

"How?" Farm asked, cocking his head. I looked to Aqua. She blinked a few times... Before she smiled sweetly.

"Uh, Mister Farm? We need to speak privately for a moment?"

"Mister Farm was my father!"

"Wouldn't that be Mister Endor?" I asked.

Farm shrugged.

"Ain't none of my business what he called himself," he said. He nodded politely, and left, shutting the door behind him. I looked to Aqua.

"Aqua, you're literally a goddess-"

"A goddess that's been covered in frog guts and slime, a goddess that had to see her champion slash boyfriend almost die, a goddess who wants to go home!" Aqua whined.

"But-But we could help these people!" I insisted. Aqua huffed.

"I'm not a hardcore gamer, all right?"

"We want to defeat the demon king, don't we?"

"How is helping a bunch of farmers with some random curse going to help us get closer to that goal?" Aqua demanded. "Is this really the kind of sidequest you'd take in a game?"

I glared.

"I mean... It depends," I said carefully,"I didn't see it on the quest board-"

"Exactly!" Aqua scoffed. "If we're not going to get a reward for it, then what's the point? We should just go. Let Eris and her priests deal with it! When we're stronger, we can come back and deal with the dungeon or whatever! Isn't that how it works?"

I mean... Yeah... That's how it worked in a game. This world did run on game mechanics.

But at the same time...

"You said you understood how much humans suffered now," I said, "You said that."

Aqua huffed.

"Yeah, I get that... But I also understand that the Demon King is the biggest source of that suffering! We have to keep our eye on the prize, Kazuma!"

I glared at her.

"So you can go home sooner?"

She froze. She looked aside.

"... I..."

There was a knock on the door. I sighed.

"Come in!"

Farm opened the door. He beamed at us as he held a little girl in his arms. She was in a white cotton dress, very plain. She had large blue eyes and curly brown hair. She'd be cute as a button... If not for how sickly black her legs and arms were.

Seriously, they looked almost like they'd been fried to a crisp. Farm carried the little girl to the bed we sat on, still smiling.

"Eleanor, this is Mister Kazuma and Miss Aqua," Farm said, "Sir, Miss, this is my daughter Eleanor."

"H-How do you do?" The little girl asked with a smile. "I'm sorry I can't greet you right."

"That... That's fine," I said, wincing at the appearance of her lifeless limbs. I turned a smile to her-The kind I had shared with my little brother back home.

"Your dad was very nice to let us stay," I said. Eleanor nodded eagerly.

"Yeah... Did you really kill that giant snake?" She asked in awe. I chuckled.

"Sure did..."

"That's so amazing," she said, beaming. "I always wanted to see one... But then the Curse..."

She trailed off, and forced a smile.

"Miss Wiz said I might get better soon! She's working on something to let me move again!"

Oh man. Oh man. This... This was just brutal. Most games involving curing a plague? You might get some NPCs lying in beds, some black mist animations over them, something like that.

This though? This was cruel. I'd lob the angriest comments possible at the developers for trying to tug on my heartstrings like this.

A little girl who was still smiling despite being paralyzed... Geez...

I looked over at Aqua. She was staring very intently at Eleanor. I couldn't guess at what was going through her mind. So... I tried to put something in there.

Aqua... Lady Aqua, I prayed, please.

She sucked in a deep breath.

"Uh... Hey," she said, "I have... I have an idea."

- - -

It took a few hours, but the village had managed to pull everyone who was afflicted with the cursed plague out of their beds, and gathered them all up in the village square.

Aqua had been pacing, back and forth, while this was done. Of course she didn't help, I had to help wheel the sick people out. And... Yeah.

Again, if this was a game, the developers would be under fire for being so brutal, so conniving, to get you to care...

Because goddamnit, it was working.

On me, at least. For Aqua...?

When we were done, I walked up alongside her. Aqua took a shuddering breath. She looked out at the people, all with curious, desperate, hopeful faces.

She looked out at them, working her jaw in silence.

"In the same of the goddess Lady Aqua," Aqua spoke, holding up her staff as she gathered her mana, "I cast DIVINE MASS HEAL! DIVINE MASS DISPELL!"

Light flowed from her staff like ocean waves crashing against the shore. It went over the afflicted villagers. Young, old, male, female...

The light show faded. Gasps and cries filled the air.

Eleanor got up on unsteady feet-Healthy, fleshy feet. Tears filled her eyes, as she took some steps. She went faster, and faster, until she threw herself into her father's arms.

"DADDY! DADDY! I-I CAN WALK!"

"ELEANOR!" Farm sobbed, tears falling from his eyes.

More of the same followed. Everyone healed by Aqua's power got up, moved around, cried, hugged, laughed.

I looked over at my girlfriend. She checked her adventurer's card carefully.

"... Anything?" I asked quietly.

Aqua dispelled it... And smiled at me.

"Not really," she admitted. She looked at the cheering crowds. "But... I mean... I guess I don't mind. It... It wasn't a big deal for me."

"Yeah," I chuckled in a deadpan way, "Not a big deal for you at all, my amazing goddess."

Aqua beamed, even as the crowds clustered around us to thank us, bless us, cheer for us.

"Don't you forget it!" She laughed.

- - -

When we got back to Axel, it was actually a pretty nice payday, all told. And we'd lucked out; Luna, the adventurer's guild receptionist, created a retroactive job posting for taking down the Black Serpent. Once she got a look at the carcass outside the guild hall (held up by about eight wagons), she made it an even ten million eris. Even gave us some more for curing the curse plague.

All told, between the guild processing the meat and materials from the frogs and the surprise boss, and the fairly generous fees... We came out with a little over 6 million eris.

All of which was firmly under my control, and placed into the bank.

"But Kazumaaaa!" Aqua whined, even as I left the bank with some eris coins jingling in my money pouch, "Come onnn! That's so much money!"

"It won't be so much if we spend it all, Aqua," I huffed. "Come on!"

"Can't I just have a little more? Didn't I do good with the village?"

"You did," and here I genuinely smiled at the goddess, "You really did. Praise be to Aqua."

She trembled, and hugged onto me tightly. She nuzzled my neck and crooned.

"... Say that again," she murmured.

I sighed, and smirked a little as I held her in my arms.

"Praise be to Aqua."

"Ooh..."

"Praise be to Aqua."

"Oooh~!"

"Praise be to Aquaaa~," I whispered this in her ear, before gently taking it between my teeth and tugging. She crooned, shuddering in my arms.

"Ohhh... Kazumaaaa..." She giggled. "Wow... Wow..."

We held each other in companionable silence. She went back to pouting a minute later.

"But still... Can't we celebrate? This is our first big success!" She prodded me. "Come on, I wanna live a little!"

"We're getting a new house soon," I said, "Can't we wait until then?"

"Kazummmaaaa...!"

I sighed... And squeezed her tightly. Damnit. Was it just because of how we had bonded, and all the sex we'd had, I was considering spoiling her?

... Yes. Yes it was. But I wasn't completely bereft of sense just because I was now getting laid regularly.

"We'll stay at the nicest room in the Guild Inn tonight, and get some good food and wine," I said. Aqua beamed, and kissed me happily. I returned it just as happily, cuddling her as our tongues wrestled.

"Mmmm~... You're the best, Kazuma~!" She giggled, nuzzling me once our lips parted.

"I know, but I like to be reminded," I chuckled, nuzzling her.

- - -

We made it to the Guild Inn, bought the best room, and waited for our dinner to arrive at our usual table. We were getting a lot of looks from our fellow adventurers-Some impressed, some sneers, but not too much bad feeling overall. I kind of enjoyed it, though I will admit being the center of attention was something I was still working on.

Aqua just soaked it all up. Happily recounting the tale, and embellishing not only her part, but mine. The wine just kept flowing, and I kept drinking along with Aqua.

"N-No... No though, seriously," Aqua slurred, "We gotta... Gotta get more party members..."

I blinked, and nodded.

"Yeah... Yeah, we need DPS and a Tank and... And junk," I mumbled back. "You're right, Aqua."

"And... And they can only be girls!" Aqua declared. I blinked, and nodded thoughtfully through the happy, warm haze of booze.

"Yeah... Don't wanna... Don't want nobody leering at you," I said firmly. I reached out, and pulled Aqua over the table. She squealed happily, even as dishes and plates went flying. She ended up in my lap, and I nuzzled her.

"You're... You're my goddess," I growled. "Mine."

Aqua moaned, and quivered atop me. She kissed me-She tasted like wine and like... The moist air off a pond in summer and... Other stuff...

"Mmmm~," Aqua moaned, "I'm your goddess..."

"My goddess," I repeated, feeling her up. She giggled.

"Awww... Ya wanna... Show 'em how much my... Your goddess... I am?" She asked.

I blinked.

"I dunno," I mumbled, "Maybe... Maybe I'm not drunk enough for that-GURK!"

She shoved a bottle down my throat, and made me chug it. She pulled back, panting in lust.

"Now?!" She cried.

I couldn't even make out the other people around us. It was all just an annoying buzzing sound.

Well... I couldn't be embarrassed by annoying buzzing sounds staring at me having sex with my hot goddess girlfriend, could I?

So I pinned Aqua to the table and kissed her and we tore each other's clothing off and... Well... After that things got hazy...

- - -

I awoke with a groan. Everything was blurry and achy and terrible. I was also naked... I think? There was something warm and cuddly atop me, and smelled like-

"Good morning~," a tired, quiet voice murmured against my ear. I turned my head and looked into thankfully familiar ocean blue eyes. A very exhausted Aqua was curled up slightly on my top and against my side. I nuzzled her.

"Morning... Wha...?"

I looked around. We seemed to be in a Guild Inn Room. A really nice one... Well, it used to be really nice.

The bed we were lying on was snapped in the middle. The mirrors and pictures on the wall were all at odd angles. The dresser had been shaken apart. A coffee table was broken in a few pieces. There were bottles of booze everywhere...

Aqua summoned some pure water, and helped me drink it. My hangover cleared almost instantly, and I looked around the room with discerning eyes.

"Uh... Did we-?"

"Yup," Aqua giggled. "Oh... Wow... When the city guard showed up I thought that was it! But Luna told them it was our honeymoon and we were doing some stuff for a bet."

She beamed.

"She's so sweet... I don't mind if you stare at her boobs from now on!"

"Uhhh... Sure," I said. I frowned as I noticed our clothes in haphazard positions all over the room. "Aqua? Where's my money bag?"

"Ummm..." Aqua winced. "I kind of... Had to pay them for the damages?"

"What damages?"

"Well, they actually put us in the second finest room of the inn by mistake," Aqua said, "But it was already occupied by this blonde knight. We uh... We kind of wrecked that one, too. But you were so into me that you didn't hear that... And she didn't seem to mind."

She grinned.

"Then after that, you got us to our actual room, and oohhhhh..." She nuzzled me. "I don't think I'll be walking again today~..."

Normally... The prospect of financial pain and bills coming my way would make me cringe and even whimper if they were bad enough. But... I had a hot naked and horny goddess in my arms. And we'd rented the room out til noon. So... To hell with it. I'll let Future Kazuma sort it out.

"Kazuma~!" Aqua squealed happily as I pounced on her. Hey, this bed was still pretty comfortable, even if it was broken.

- - -

In the other room...

Darkness, aka Lalatina Dustiness Ford, sat in the ruins of her fine room at the inn. Her best friend Chris, a local thief and rogue, entered through the window with a look of concern for her best friend.

"Darkness? Darkness, you all right? I heard that there was some kind of commotion but-"

Darkness lifted her head... And revealed her bright red, grinning face.

"Chris? I have found my party."

- - -

 

[AndrewJTalon]

We crawled out of the inn room eventually and got down to the guild hall. We ordered food... And I did my best to ignore all the staring, thumbs up, and knowing grins we got.

"Open wide, Kazuma~!"

Which would have been easier if Aqua wasn't in my lap, feeding me. Every time I took a bite, she giggled and planted a kiss on my cheek, lips, or forehead. My cheeks flushed, and I cleared my throat.

"H-Hey... You don't have to do that, you know-"

"Aw, but as your doting wife, I should do things like this!" Aqua giggled. I scowled at her.

"We're not actually-!" I began to protest, but Aqua shoved another croquette into my mouth. "Mmph!"

"Hey Kazuma!" Dust, a blond adventurer I was familiar with, waved as he passed by with his party, "Congrats on getting hitched! She's a beauty!"

"Just be careful not to get her pregnant too soon, or you won't have any support!" Taylor, the party leader, warned us. "Still, congratulations!"

"Y-yeah, thanks," I managed, as Aqua cooed. I sighed.

Okay... I mean... Did I love Aqua?

Yes.

Did I want to spend the rest of my life with her?

Well, given I might die fighting the Demon King, I just might. Seriously though... I really don't know what our relationship would be. My closest experience to romance was making a promise to marry my childhood friend who then ran off with some guy on a motorcycle. Oh, and somehow shacking up with Aqua after praying to her to heal her.

I had no idea where the hell we were going. Hell, in my own world there are countless stories of romances between gods and mortals and how it can get complicated. Sure, you've got Keiichi and Belldandy in Ah! My Goddess! but you've also got fucked up things like in Greek mythology.

Hell, Aqua was immortal. I was her first. Her first. What if she just got bored of me and detached? We were running on the emotional highs, I wasn't stupid enough to think that could actually last forever! R-Right?

If you're wondering why I'm that goddamned cynical at the age of 17, one answer: The Internet.

"Kazumaaaa... Open up~!"

I sighed and opened my mouth. I ate the food. It was very good. She tilted her head cutely.

In an instant, I didn't feel my worries or my concerns... Well, save for a few.

"So... How much are the repairs gonna cost?" I asked.

Aqua winced.

"About... Oh... 500,000 eris. Most of that is for the plumbing. I uh... I wanted a sauna, and so I converted the water to steam... While it was in the pipes."

I sighed heavily. Right, a steam explosion. That would explain the state of the rest of the room we'd spent the night and morning in.

"Aqua, we can't spend that much money-!"

"I know! I know! I'm sorry!" Aqua said, kissing my forehead apologetically, "We can earn it back, but we are going to need more party members." She beamed as she wiggled on my lap.

"I think only advanced classes should be allowed! And only women!"

"Eh?" I blinked. "But I'm not an advanced class-"

"You are now," Aqua scoffed, "You're my champion. Besides, if we're going to take down the Demon King, we can't have any slackers!"

"She's right!" Boomed a familiar voice. I looked up, and my jaw dropped at the tall familiar form.

"Boss!" I cried. Boss grunted.

"I heard you got married to your pretty girlfriend," Boss stated, "I can't believe you wouldn't invite your boss to the ceremony! ... Not that I care!"

"I-Uh, we didn't have the ceremony-It's not-" I tried, but Aqua bowed her head.

"We're too poor to have an appropriate ceremony yet, Boss," she sniffled. She brightened. "But we're working on it!"

"Hmph!" The Boss grunted again. "Anyway, I heard you broke the cutlass!"

"Ahhh," I winced, "I'm sorry? I thought it was just junk-"

"IT WAS!" Boss cried, "But you should take better care of your equipment if you're not going to make Adventurers look bad!" He pulled out another cutlass, and dropped it on the table on front of us with a loud clatter. "Here! It's Level 10, so you can grow into it a little."

"I-I... Thank you, Boss," I said earnestly. Boss huffed, and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Bah! I'm not looking after you! I'm just getting rid of old junk and making sure you're not embarrassing me! I've got a hundred of these at home!" Boss stated. Aqua beamed up at him.

"So Boss... At our ceremony, can you walk me down the aisle?"

Boss flushed bright red.

"You-I-If it needs to be done, I might be persuaded... To do so..."

"Come on, Aqua," I chuckled, "He'd be my father at the wedding."

"THE GROOM'S FATHER DOESN'T DO ANYTHING COOL!" Boss burst out. "Not that I would do it anyway! Unless you needed me to! Anyway, I'm here to look in on my daughter! She said she needed some repairs done! Not that I'm here for anything other than work!"

He stomped off, right to Luna's window.

"I'm here, Luna."

"DADDY!" Luna squealed, throwing her arms around Boss's neck.

"HEY! Be professional, damnit! I raised you better!" Boss protested.

Aqua giggled, nuzzling my cheek.

"Aw... He's just a big old softy," she murmured.

"Yeah, but don't let him know you think that," I muttered back. "Still, advanced classes. Who'd want to team up with us? It's not like we're the top-ranked adventurers."

"YOU!"

We both looked up. A pretty, slim girl with pale skin and black hair stood before us. She wore a classic witch's hat with a dress and a cloak, and held a magic staff. She wore a red eyepatch on her right eye. She pointed her staff at us.

"Uh... Yes?" I managed.

"I am Megumin of the Explosion! A Crimson Demon Arch Wizard! I am a Mistress of Magic, a Lady of Destruction and... And..."

She wobbled... And then fell forward. I somehow had the reflexes to push Aqua off my lap and catch her.

"She fainted right at the sight of you!" Aqua giggled. "See? Being my Champion has all sorts of bonuses!"

"We're supposed to be married, right?" I protested.

"I can still be impressed with my hubby!" She giggled.

We let the poor girl eat our leftover breakfast. She just shoved it all into her mouth and downed it with a desperation I've not seen outside of crash dieters on Earth.

"Haa... Thanks... Haven't eaten in three days," she said, "Like I said, I am MEGUMIN of the Crimson Demon Clan! I overheard you talking about needing a new party member! I'm your woman!"

I looked her up and down, a skeptical look on my face. She was slender, though not entirely waifish. Her clothing was worn and threadbare, like she'd been on the road for a while. Even so, she had smooth skin, large expressive eyes (the one I could see, anyway), and a cute smile. Further, she did have boobs (albeit A-cups), and nice thighs-

I closed my eyes.

NO. No Kazuma, you're a taken man now. Last thing I need to do is piss Aqua off by ogling another girl in front of her!

I mean... Were we together together? I didn't really know, but every dating sim I'd ever played indicated that checking out other girls while in a relationship with a girl was a no no and an easy way to get a Bad End. Unless you could get a harem route but... Nah. I wasn't that lucky.

"Well," Aqua said, checking over Megumin's adventurer's card, "She is an Arch Wizard. And the Crimson Demon clan do have very good stats. High INT in particular."

"Yes," Megumin cried, throwing her hand up, "The Crimson Demon Clan are the most intelligent and deadly of magic casters in all the kingdom! You would do well to have me as an ally..." She covered her non-eyepatch covered eye like a JoJo character, "For I would be an even more fearsome adversary!"

I blinked.

"Uh... Huh," I said, "Why are you talking like that?"

"Like what?"

I held up a finger, and took Aqua's hand.

"Give us a second," I said. I pulled Aqua up to her feet and led her away. I looked over my shoulder at Megumin, as she continued to gobble down leftovers.

"Why is she... So...?"

"Twelfth Grader Syndrome?" Aqua asked bluntly with a smile. "Well, I think the Crimson Demon Clan was founded by another Japanese guy I reincarnated into this world. They ended up going back in time... Probably... And established his clan as fearsome magic casters. And, well..."

I blinked. My quick mind came to a horrified realization.

"No... They're all like that?" I asked, aghast.

Aqua nodded.

"Afraid so," she said. "But she seems like a nice girl, with good stats. Why don't we give her a shot?"

I sighed quietly. I turned back and walked up to Megumin as she forced down some toast with her fist to her chest.

"Okay Megumin, you're a probationary member of the party," I said, "We'll take you out on an easy quest and see how you do, all right?"

Megumin's eye lit up.

"Really?!" She coughed. "I-I mean, of course you would realize that I, Megumin of the Explosion, would join your party!"

"But first up," I said with a smile, "We need you to have full eyesight available, okay? So you might want to lose the eyepatch."

Megumin gasped, and held her hand over her eyepatch.

"No! You can't release this eyepatch!" She cried. "For it holds my true power within! If I unleash it, the entire world might be consumed in explosions!"

I stared at her intently. I mean, this was a fantasy world, but based on what Aqua had told me...

"Is that true?" I asked, reaching out to rest a hand on the eyepatch, very lightly. She blushed deeply-Huh. I guess I'd been getting a lot more hands on with girls since Aqua and I got together.

"Er, uh... N-No... It just makes me look cool," she said.

Not breaking my gaze, I took hold of the eyepatch and pulled on the elastic, away from her face. Her eyes widened.

"N-No! Don't-!"

I let go.

SNAP!

"Owwwwww!" She whined, rubbing her eye, "Why'd you do that?!"

"Because I had to," I said with a smile and a shrug, "Welcome aboard. Let's go."

- - -

A few moments after Kazuma's new party found a quest and left, Darkness rushed in with an eager smile.

"They must be here, I know they must be...!"

Her face fell as she failed to see any sign of her chosen party. Her friend Chris walked up behind her, and patted her shoulder.

"It's all right, Darkness. Just be patient," she said.

"You mean," Darkness sighed, blushing, "Let the anticipation drive me into ever greater heights of ecstasy when we meet at last~?"

"Something like that, yeah," Chris agreed, patting her friend on the back with a gentle smile.

- - -

I had been tempted to try the toad quest again, because it was nice and easy... Now. But the diminishing returns on experience, skill points and cash would make that a problem. I'd jumped from Level 3 to Level 10 thanks to all the XP from the Black Serpent, and I was itching to try something a bit bigger.

So we went after something relatively simple: A pack of undead wolves had escaped from a dungeon and were harassing travelers near the big castle. Aqua and I had bonuses against Undead, but the pack was a little too big to handle on our own. So I came up with a simple plan:

We would herd the pack into an area where Megumin could hit them all at once with Explosion magic. Any survivors could be picked off at our leisure.

Again, it was a simple plan, little chance of failure, high chance of success...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Except once again, something about the lore had bit us in the ass. Or rather, was going to bite Aqua in the ass.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

The second Aqua had shown up, the pack had rushed her. They'd flat out ignored me and Megumin, they just went right after Aqua! And my goddess girlfriend was now running around the field on Haste as the whole pack of rotting, decaying wolves chased her like dogs after a car!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! HELP ME KAZUMAAAAAA!" She shrieked.

"Crap, crap, crap," I muttered. "HEY! HEEEEEYYYY! OVER HERE! OVER HERRRRRE!" I waved my arms frantically, even ran to try and get in front of the pack. I'd taken the precaution of having Aqua cast some buffs on Megumin and I too, including Haste, which let me get out in front of them fast.

Nothing. They just passed by me like I was a rock!

This was absolutely ridiculous!

"I can't hit them while they're moving!" Megumin shouted. I sighed.

"I know, I know..."

"CHECK YOUR DIVINE CHAMPION SKILLS!" Aqua shrieked, as she ran back the other way with the whole pack thundering after her. Megumin gaped in astonishment as I pulled out my Adventurer's card.

"Wait, you're a Divine Champion?! Of Eris-?!"

"Goddess Lady Aqua, long story," I explained. "Wait, I'm only seeing my Adventurer skills!"

"AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"You can flip to another set of skills like this," Megumin pointed out, sliding her finger over the card. I grinned at her.

"Oh hey, thanks!"

"You're welcome."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Aqua ran back the other way, once more. I checked my skills associated with this title. I guess I was multiclassing now. Sort of.

Understandably, most of the skills listed were passive buffs. I even saw the 'Limit Break'-'Holy Army of One' which sounded pretty awesome but the Mana and HP costs were staggering. No wonder Aqua had been terrified for me! One use of the Limit Break, even at my current level, and I'd be down to zero mana and zero HP in a minute or two.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"Okay... Make Water, no," I muttered, "Aha! Divine Aura! I can get their attention that way, and lead them into a trap or something! Get ready, Megumin!"

"Right!" Megumin said with a nod, "You have to corral them until I can finish the incantation!"

"How long will that take?" I asked.

"Not too long, but the longer the spell, the more powerful the Explosion!" She said with a determined grin.

I wasn't in the mindset to counter her chuunibiyou bullshit, so I just nodded. I ran out as Aqua sprinted by again. Megumin began to cast.

"Darkness blacker than black and darker than dark,

I beseech thee, combine with my deep crimson.

The time of awakening cometh!"

"Divine Aura!" I cast. An aura of blue and white flared around me briefly as I stood between the pack and Aqua, cutlass out. "Now you've got another target to chase!"

It was a cheesy line, sure. Sue me, I was saving my girlfriend.

"Justice, fallen upon the infallible boundary,

appear now as an intangible distortions!

I desire for my torrent of power a destructive force:

a destructive force without equal!"

The pack... Skidded to a halt, and began to whimper at the sight of me. Some put their tails between their legs and began to run. My eyes widened.

"What the-?!"

"RUN!" Aqua screamed. We took off as fast as we could, Aqua activating Haste, as Megumin finally finished her incantation.

"Return all creation to cinders,

and come frome the abyss!

EXPLOSION!"

- - -

Once my ears stopped ringing, and my bones stopped feeling like they were going to vibrate right out of my fleshy body, I managed to look up.

Aqua had cast damn near every buff she had on use, including Reflect, Defense Up, and plenty more besides. She was already healing me, and I was back to full health in a matter of seconds.

I turned and looked back at the field where the force of the explosion had blown us clear. My eyes widened.

"Woah..."

There was a crater the size of a small house in the center, with some small fires circling the impact point. Not a single undead dire wolf remained.

Well... Okay, one had. One which was trotting towards Megumin.

Megumin... Who was lying facedown in front of it.

"CRAP!"

Aqua and I ran to the wolf. Aqua held out her hand.

"Holy Water!"

The undead wolf yelped and jumped back from the splash of the water. It's agility was high... But not high enough.

"Critical Hit!"

The wolf howled and dissolved from my cutlass blow, the Divine Aura ability apparently giving me a major bonus against Undead. Good to know.

One other thing I needed to know though...

"Okay... Why did they chase you but not me?" I asked. Aqua coughed, and poked her fingers together awkwardly.

"Ahhh..."

"Aqua," I growled.

She glanced back at me.

"Er, well... Since I'm actually a goddess, they're naturally attracted to my divine energy, to be purified and released from their unlives... Ya know. But since you're my champion, your divine aura is more... Menacing to undead. To low level undead, you're basically saying 'You want to be purified? You have to go through me."

She grinned saucily.

"Which is actually really sexy-"

"Aqua," I interrupted, though reluctantly. I love when she smiles like that. "Why couldn't you have told me all of this before we went after undead?"

"You said it would be an easy quest!" Aqua whined. I sighed and rubbed my forehead.

"Yeah, but the fewer surprises we have, the easier it is," I gritted out. I turned to pull Megumin up into my arms. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah," she mumbled, "I just used up all my mana."

I blinked.

"Er... Well, that was a really powerful explosion," I said, "Maybe a bit overkill."

I smiled at her.

"Maybe next time," I said, "You use something a little less mana consuming-?"

"I refuse."

I blinked.

"Eh?"

"I only know Explosion. I only cast Explosion," she said, "And after I cast it, I use up all my mana for the day... And am helpless."

My jaw couldn't get any lower. I looked over at Aqua, who was shrugging.

"What?! The Skills tree isn't that detailed unless you flick it!" She whined.

I sighed.

"Okay... So you only know Explosion-"

"That's right."

"You'll only use Explosion."

"Yup."

"And after you use it, you're useless for the rest of the day," I finished. "Even with mana regen buffs?"

"Pretty much," Megumin admitted. I rubbed my eyes and sucked in a deep breath.

"Megumin... How many parties were you part of before joining this one?"

"Three."

"I can see why," I sighed. Megumin groaned.

"Come on... I'm... I'm useful! I got all those undead wolves-!"

"You missed one," I deadpanned, "Which means if we weren't with you, you'd be dead. How have you been surviving all this time?!"

"I'm smart," Megumin said.

"She has a point," Aqua said, "If she's been surviving this long, she must be pretty smart. Crimson Demon children are kicked out of the house at age 13 and told to find their purpose in the world."

"You've been doing this since you were thirteen?!" I gasped in disbelief. "How old are you now?!"

"Seventeen," Megumin murmured.

I sighed and rubbed my temples. I had a headache. How in the hell had this girl not gotten killed?!

"Megumin... I'm willing to let you into the party... But you need to learn some other spells-"

"No."

"Even just a few from the Detonation Skill Tree-!"

"No. Explosion is my life," Megumin said firmly. "Nothing else is as..." She bit her lower lip. "Satisfying..."

And she was a weirdo pervert with an explosion fetish. Given her village's background, that's so not surprising.

"Please Kazuma?" Aqua asked with a smile. "I like her."

"Like her or not like her is irrelevant," I groaned, "If she can only cast one spell a day, that's not useful enough! She might get killed!"

"I can handle that!" Aqua insisted. "Please, Kazumaaa? For me?"

Damnit... This is what comes from catching feelings. If I still hated Aqua, her cute pleading and sparkling eyes would have no effect on me whatsoever! I groaned again.

"If you could just learn one other spell-"

"No," Megumin said, stubborn despite being utterly helpless, "There's nothing as good as the gigantic Explosion. Nothing comes close! Ever since a mysterious, badass witch came by my village and saved me from a demon I'd accidentally released with Explosion, I've made Explosion my life! She's my idol! She told me to follow the path of Explosion!"

I blinked. It was certainly an anime-enough backstory, grant you... But... Wait a second...

A lightbulb would have gone off over my head if this was a cartoon.

"Wait... Are you sure she meant Explosion? Or was she referring to a more general kind of Explosion?"

Megumin blinked at me. As did Aqua.

"Huh?" They both asked, momentarily sounding like they had the same IQ.

I smiled encouragingly.

"Aqua... You broke the pipes in our room because you wanted a sauna, right? How did you do that?"

Aqua blinked slowly.

"Oh! I just converted the water into steam-I can do that if I focus-And it caused an explosion. It wrecked the pipes... Uh... Sorry about that-"

"No, no, see?" I grinned at Megumin, "Aqua here managed to cause an explosion without thinking about it! With water magic!"

Megumin blinked again.

"Yeah... So?"

"So! That's just one way to make explosions with magic!" I said eagerly, "She wasn't even using Explosion Magic! She used an entirely different kind of magic, and got an explosion!"

Megumin blinked a few times.

"Wait... Are you saying... That I misinterpreted my idol's words?" Megumin asked. "That she wasn't just talking about Explosion the spell, but the path... Of all Explosion?"

"Yes!" I said, nodding eagerly. "Think about it! Your Explosion is amazing, no doubt Megumin! But what would be more impressive? Master just one kind of Explosion... Or mastering all kinds of Explosions? Of finding the Explosion potential in all magic?!"

Megumin's jaw dropped. Her eyes widened and sparkled. She looked upon me with shock and amazement. It was like her entire universe had shifted on its axis, and she was thrilled with the new possibilities wide open before her.

"You... You mean," Megumin continued, "To be a true Master of Explosion... I must find the Explosion... In everything?"

"Yes!" I said with a nod, "And I will eagerly walk the Path of Explosion with you! Explosions in every form of magic, and Explosion itself! You don't have to stop putting skill points into Explosion, because that was amazing!"

She blushed quite prettily as I continued.

"But to truly master your art... You must learn to Explode in every single way! The ultimate journey, for an ultimate master... OF EXPLOSIONS!"

Megumin grinned.

"I'll do it!" She cried.

"YES!" I laughed, caught up in her enthusiasm. Aqua giggled, and hugged us both.

"Ooh... Welcome to the party!" She laughed.

"... So," Megumin said, "Can you carry me back to town? I can't actually move... Or do anything else."

"Sure can, Explosion Master," I said, pulling her onto my back. She huffed.

"Don't call me that. Megumin of the Explosion is not an Explosion Master... Not yet!"

- - -

A slightly different way for Megumin to join the party, and Kazuma blowing her mind in a different way.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Kazuma's party have returned from successfully purifying a lake gone rancid thanks to evil. Aqua was a bit traumatized, even while being protected by a steel cage, so Kazuma is in the cage with her just holding her tightly.

Kazuma: "Hey... Hey... It's all right... Everything is all right... You did great today, Aqua, you really did..."

Aqua: "You-You mean it?"

Kazuma: "Yes, yes I do." Kisses her forehead

Aqua: "All those things were trying to eat me... It was so scary... All the loud banging... C-Can you just... Keep holding me?"

Kazuma: "It's a sacrifice, but I'll make it for you."

Aqua: "Heh... Heh..."

The wagon stops and falls down on one side.

Darkness: "Ah! Kazuma? The wheel fell off again!"

Kazuma: "Geez... I'll be right back, Aqua, promise."

Aqua: "R-Right..."

Kazuma: "Megumin? Hold her hand, please."

Megumin: "On it."

Aqua: "Nnnngh... Let's get home already, I want Kazuma to pound my brains out so I never remember this horrible day again...!"

Megumin: "Do you really have to say that so loud?"

Darkness: "Y-Yes! It's like you're taunting us over how Kazuma will ravish you! Are you going to do it and make us watch?!"

Aqua: "Now there's an idea! Let's do that, Kazuma!"

Kazuma: "Seriously?"

He bodges the wheel up... And stands up, just in time to come face to face with some tall blond guy in armor.

Mitsurugi: "LADY AQUA!"

Kazuma: "... Can I help you-?"

Mitsurugi: "Why have you imprisoned Lady Aqua in a cage?!"

Kazuma: "It was her idea?"

Mitsurugi: "A LIKELY STORY! LADY AQUA, IT'S ME, MITSURUGI! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?!"

Aqua: "EH? Oh... Uh... Yeah. Hey! How're you doing?"

Mitsurugi: "I'm working with my party to defeat the Demon King! What are you doing here?!"

Aqua: "Uhhh-"

Kazuma: I don't like the way this guy is looking at Aqua. He's clearly another reincarnate, but honestly, going blond? Such a tryhard.

Darkness: "She is Kazuma's sex slave!"

Mitsurugi: "SHE'S WHAT?!"

Kazuma: "DARKNESS!"

Darkness: "Or am I misinterpreting your relationship? I do recall her screaming she was your good girl and would do any manner of... Of depraved, naughty things for you..." drooling

Mitsurugi: "YOU BASTARD!"

Kazuma: "IT'S CONSENSUAL! REALLY! WE'RE BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND BUT WE'RE JUST-!"

Mitsurugi: brandishes his blade "I'LL CUT YOU DOWN YOU PERVERTED, WICKED, EVIL-!"

Aqua busts out of the cage, and Goddess Punches Mitsurugi right out of the park.

Aqua: "DON'T YOU EVER THREATEN MY KAZUMA, YOU DYE JOB PUNK!"

Kazuma: "Wow... That was pretty cool, Aqua."

Aqua: "Awww... Thanks Sweetie..." She looks at the steel cage and sobs "NOOOO! THAT COST US 200,000 ERIS!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Megumin: "So... You two are uh... Together?"

Aqua: "Yes. Very together."

Megumin: "Oh... Are you sure you're okay with another woman then? N-Not that I'm bothered! Because I'm a Crimson Demon!"

Aqua: "Oh, that's simple... Tell me... Are you okay with sharing?"

Megumin: "Sharing?" bright red "Y-You mean...?!"

Aqua: beams "I am okay with sharing. In fact... I need it." She leans in "I can't keep up with him!"

Megumin: nosebleed "R-Really?!"


Aqua: "Well, he is my – that is, Goddess Aqua's – Champion. One of the perks is that he recovers stamina whenever he gets soaked."

Megumin: Eyes glazing over. "Y-you m-m-mean...?"

Aqua: "Yep. The better my hubby does, the longer he can go. And he's very good at figuring out how best to use that godlaying broadsword of his to get you flooding."

Megumin: "D-d-don't you mean—?"

Aqua: "I know what I said, miss crimson demon."


Kazuma: "What are you two talking about-?"

Aqua: "Oh, nothing Kazuma! Hey! Maybe we should all go drinking together! And after, Megumi, you'd like to stay with us, right? We have a room at the inn and we're saving up for a house!"

Megumin: "I uh... S-Sure..."

Kazuma: "Ah... Well Aqua, I mean... I kind of wanted to..."

Aqua: "Have sex with me?"

Kazuma: "Not to put TOO fine a point on it, but YES."

Aqua: "Oh, don't worry! I'm sure Megumin won't have a problem with that!"


Kazuma: "You know, I was willing to let the Megumin thing go, because I wouldn't have been surprised if their founder passed on some kind of voyeurism fetish—"

Megumin: "Excuse me!!"

Kazuma: "But what's with the blonde woman beside her?"

Aqua: "Huh? Oh, that's Darkness. Sorry, I forgot you were here too."

Darkness: Starts to blush. "Oh, no, please. It's alright. I'm the one intruding here."

Aqua: "Darkness over there was the crusader whose room we accidentally fucked in yesterday."

Kazuma: "... And... the reason she's here now is?"
Everyone stares at the blonde, who blushes harder.

Darkness: "A-a-as a crusader, I-I have a duty to protect the people! Even if it's just their- their *drools* innocence! However, I am not one to also get in the way of a married couple celebrating their sacred bond. Therefore, I have come here to ensure that you two do not co-co-corrupt this young child and draw her into your lustful activities!"

Megumin: "Bwa! I am not a child!"

Darkness: "Even if that means sacrificing myself on her stead!"

Kazuma: "……… I'm not nearly drunk enough for this."

Aqua: Pulls out two bottles of wine from under the floorboards. "Good thing I came prepared!"

Kazuma: "When the hell did you get those! No! How did you get those! Those don't look like the kind of cheap stuff we could get on our budget!"

Aqua: "Eh, some thief gave it to me earlier after Darkness asked if she could watch. I don't know why, but I had the strangest feeling that that woman pads her chest."

Voice from beyond the door: "I- I don't!"

Kazuma: "…… You know what, fuck it. Just give me the booze."


Written with sagitatius.

 

[Grimmouse197]

Well that's a interesting idea.... Becoming a champion of a god or goddess.

 

[crazygrox]

What!!!
Konosuba(best series) smut, that I haven't read yet!!!!


So far it looks great, and I'm also looking at the crystal blue persuasion thread. It sort of seems like there's a chapter in this thread that isn't in the threadmarks.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

What!!!
Konosuba(best series) smut, that I haven't read yet!!!!


So far it looks great, and I'm also looking at the crystal blue persuasion thread. It sort of seems like there's a chapter in this thread that isn't in the threadmarks.

Click to shrink...

I wrote this on Spacebattles, and had to transfer it over here after some prudes whined. So it's a little confused right now.

 

[Heroslayer]

Just a heads up. Chapter 5 is missing the threadmark.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Just a heads up. Chapter 5 is missing the threadmark.

Click to shrink...

Right, I edited that up. Any other thoughts?

 

[xxxxx12]

Oh, Darkness joining up was in an Extra and not the main chapters
Thought I missed something

Anyways, Looks good

 

[Enso]

Right, I edited that up. Any other thoughts?

Click to shrink...

What makes konosuba's comedy work (or at least one of the things) is how dysfunctional the characters are. So far, making the more normal hasn't been a hindrance, but IIRC konosuba does not have the robust worldbuilding for a more serious story, thus requiring more work on behalf of the author. I like what you've written so far, notwithstanding the absance of smut. That's understanable given the origin on a SFW forum.

 

[abyss_kaiser]

Ah yes, Aqua the Healslut. Her best incarnation.

Hm, that gives me ideas actually~

 

[Ferrujado]

Amazing! I love this!

 

[Lucid Lunacy]

We crawled out of the inn room eventually and got down to the guild hall. We ordered food... And I did my best to ignore all the staring, thumbs up, and knowing grins we got.

Click to shrink...

Needs Threadmark.

I wrote this on Spacebattles, and had to transfer it over here after some prudes whined. So it's a little confused right now.

Click to shrink...

'Tis a sad state of affairs when something like this, that hasn't even had any explicit depictions, gets people's shorts in a twist. It's ridiculous.

 

[Grimmouse197]

Ah yes, Aqua the Healslut. Her best incarnation.

Hm, that gives me ideas actually~

Click to shrink...

Ohhhh sounds like someone is getting inspiration. I look forward to what you cook up.

 

[buttplugged]

> they fuck a lot
> it's all off-screen

What are you even doing, my dude.

I wrote this on Spacebattles, and had to transfer it over here after some prudes whined. So it's a little confused right now.

Click to shrink...

Ah, okay.

 

[UnknownAnon]

To be fair, the original piece was on SB so it's not like things could be too explicit. Still make me tilt my head a bit since while the story was suggestive it never got explicit.

Eh, whatever. Least you can be as raunchy as you want with the interactions here.

 

[Blazingwolffang]

cant say I'm a fan of the fade to black sex scenes why is this even in nsfw

 

[AndrewJTalon]

cant say I'm a fan of the fade to black sex scenes why is this even in nsfw

Click to shrink...

Fine, I'll shift it over to Creative Writing because I don't want to write smut. Geez...

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Anyway we're in Creative Writing, no smut, just a lot of innuendos and maybe I'll make a smut thread for it later. But for right now, since there's no actual smut, this will do for now.

How are you enjoying the story so far, dear readers?

 

[Arr0z]

I remember a prompt in the Konosuba NSFW ideas thread where Kazuma and Aqua just go 'fuck it' and decide to settle down normally and start a family as non-adventurers.

This isn't that, but it hits pretty damn close to the feels that prompt gave. Also because it's nice seeing Kazuma/Aqua fluff without being overly shipfic-ish.

 

[Shaedy Hoe]

Ah yes, Aqua the Healslut. Her best incarnation.

Hm, that gives me ideas actually~

Click to shrink...

You LITERALLY have a fic where Aqua is a healslut that you haven't updated in YEARS smh.

> they fuck a lot
> it's all off-screen

What are you even doing, my dude.

Click to shrink...

Which is a GOOD thing cos not every story needs to be a porno.

Fine, I'll shift it over to Creative Writing because I don't want to write smut. Geez...

Click to shrink...

Anyway we're in Creative Writing, no smut, just a lot of innuendos and maybe I'll make a smut thread for it later. But for right now, since there's no actual smut, this will do for now.

How are you enjoying the story so far, dear readers?

Click to shrink...

Oh thank you, Jesus! I was getting sick and tired of all these fucking pornos! I need good fanfiction that has an actual plot for fuck's sake! These last couple of stories of yours have been a legit godsend!

 

[AndrewJTalon]

You LITERALLY have a fic where Aqua is a healslut that you haven't updated in YEARS smh.



Which is a GOOD thing cos not every story needs to be a porno.





Oh thank you, Jesus! I was getting sick and tired of all these fucking pornos! I need good fanfiction that has an actual plot for fuck's sake! These last couple of stories of yours have been a legit godsend!

Click to shrink...

Thanks! Honestly I don't really feel like writing smut much nowadays. I want to write more wholesome stuff, though with sexiness and innuendo. Maybe I read too much manga, who knows?

 

[abyss_kaiser]

You LITERALLY have a fic where Aqua is a healslut that you haven't updated in YEARS smh.

Click to shrink...

Uh… fairly sure by most measures that Aqua was in no way a healslut. Unless you're defining healslut as simply "can heal", lol.

I was more thinking the typical konosuba intro, but the SI takes Aqua with him into One Piece or summing instead and abuses the fuck out of her water goddess nature to win big in an ocean world.

 

[UnknownAnon]

Anyway we're in Creative Writing, no smut, just a lot of innuendos and maybe I'll make a smut thread for it later. But for right now, since there's no actual smut, this will do for now.

How are you enjoying the story so far, dear readers?

Click to shrink...

Enjoying it a lot! A wholesome and loving Aqua is good, but she's still in character and retains her brattiness to a degree. It's a fun spin on the Konosuba plot, and Kazuma doesn't have to worry about getting blueballed by his party members like in canon. Instead he's got a hot blue haired goddess who can give him a few perks. Or blessings. Either way, it's a fun adventure so far.

Megumin's introduction was good, and I look forward to when Kazuma gets acquainted with all the other regulars and how they'll react to his and Aqua's relationship. Darkness is already excited, but there's also Chris/Eris, Wiz, Beldia, etc.

Smut isn't the focus here so I don't mind that there won't be sex scenes. I prefer the wholesome and fun character interactions to smut anyway. Plenty is already implied and there's a lot of mileage to get out of potential innuendos and humorous/raunchy mishaps. Just because Kazuma actually gets laid doesn't automatically make things awesome. I'm sure he'll still get plenty of headaches from his companions, but that's just what makes Konosuba so fun. Kazuma needs to keep failing upwards! Keep up the humor, wholesomeness, and slight lewdness of this story.

 

[shakeval]

I wrote this on Spacebattles, and had to transfer it over here after some prudes whined. So it's a little confused right now.

Click to shrink...

Yeah, that sounds about right, those people are so. . . . .just so tiresome

 

[OZT]

"Twelfth Grader Syndrome?" Aqua asked bluntly with a smile.

Click to shrink...

Shouldn't this be Eighth Grader Syndrome? It is known as chuunibyou - literally translated as "middle (school) second (year/grade) sickness". Or was this adjusted up to make it based on Megumin's age?