But your Princess is in Another Castle, Part Four
OverMaster
Well worn.
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"NO WAY!" Kirche said. "You have met THE Jack Rakan?!"
Yue nodded, noticing all too well how suddenly stiff and strangely fully-open-eyed Beatrix had become in her sitting place. "Yes," Ayase said. "He is quite a... colorful personality."
"Are you sure he is the real Rakan?" Tabitha asked blandly. "Not an impostor?"
"Oh, trust me, he performed feats that would be impossible to duplicate for anyone," Negi said. "He's also identical to the pictures my father had of him."
"Is it true that he has a schlong three feet long?" Kirche said.
Tsukuyomi giggled. "You'll have to ask Asuna-han! She saw him bathing!"
"It was an accident! AN ACCIDENT!" Asuna growled, red faced.
Beatrix looked at Collet in an imploring way. "Collet. Please tell me that you got it for me..."
Collet smiled and nodded. "Of course I did!" She then handed her a signed picture of Jack, who was grinning and giving a thumbs up. For a second, Emily thought she actually saw the picture winking too, and it creeped her out. "I couldn't let you down, Bea!"
Beatrix shivered ever so slightly, her normal Tabitha-level cool detachment sorely shaken. "Thank you... How can I ever repay you...?"
"How much did that perv charge you for that?" Chisame asked Collet. "You didn't have to do anything dirty, did you?"
"Oh, no, no!" Collet laughed that off. "Please don't worry about me...!"
Collet slammed her hands together. "Please, Mr. Rakan! Even if I don't have money, I'll pay you some other way! You can see my panties! No, you can even have them if you want!"
Rakan's eyes popped up. "Can I...?!" Then he blinked, looking at Collet's begging, nearly tearful expression, and he made a face. "Hyeh! Don't do that, you clever little sneak, you'll make me feel bad! Keep your panties on, I can get myself into ladies' panties anytime I want to!"
He began stroking his strong jaw while frowning. "Let's see... What if you cook dinner for me for a whole week while wearing undies and an apron...?"
"That's not really much better!" Rito said, bandaged like a mummy while Kotaro held him in place. "For a second, I thought he wasn't going to act like a scumbag for once!"
"Oh, so that's why he had diarrhea all through that night, right?" Chisame asked.
Collet blushed and nodded. "Yes..."
"Now you see why we never let her cook," Emily said.
"Ah, you got off the hook easy, then!" Montmorency smiled. "That's good!"
"Actually, I still had to cook for him wearing underwear and the apron for a week afterwards, it's just that he would throw the meals down the toilet right after," Collet said.
"Oh, so that's why rats came out the sewers dying all over the streets for a week, then," Chisame realized.
"After we save my sister we're going to have her teach you cooking, Collet," Skuld decided. "I doubt even Satsuki is up for that task."
"Thank you, Lady Skuld," Collet said, not offended in the slightest.
"His story is still highly dubious!" Emily said. "Do you mean that he's implying that Mr. Nagi and the Queen of Calamity were actually involved romantically!?"
"Well, Negi had to come from somewhere, right?" Chisame asked. "It's not like Nagi could give birth to him himself!"
"Are, are you saying that you really believe he's the Prince of Ostia?!" the bewildered Sevensheep demanded, jabbing a pointer several times towards the uneasy Negi. "What kind of bid for political power is this?!"
"You just don't want to accept that Nagi married another woman," Kirche said, grinning. Nodoka was actually starting to like her, despite everything. She was much like Paru in a way, although she still liked Lucy-san better.
"Mr. Nagi is for everyone!" Emily said, throwing her hands up.
"You're sounding just like the Superman fangirls on Earth who cannot accept he is with Wonder Woman," Yue smiled faintly.
"Lois Lane," Rito said.
Yue stared at him. "Lois Lane? Senpai, please! That's Clark Kent's wife!"
Tabitha looked at Skuld. "If you truly are a goddess, you can confirm whether he is Princess Arika's son or not, plus the truth of what happened to her, cannot you?"
"We are well used to Sku-chan being a tightly locked box of extremely useful info that she just won't share with us," Asuna said, sighing.
"Over half of the time you aren't ready to learn things, and the other half you wouldn't believe me if I told you! If I'd told you, back when we first met, that Negi was a Martian Prince, you would have booed me away, wouldn't you?!" the irritated Norn said.
"Sorry, you're right! Sorry, even after all we've been through together, I still doubt you, my friends, so often!" Ai pleaded, falling to her hands and knees before the Norn. "Even now, I'm not sure you can help me find Itoshiki-sensei, and I'm still so embarrassed about that!"
"Ah!" Montmorency gasped. "Who are you?! You were here?!"
Ai nodded and sobbed. "Yes, always! Sorry, but in the absence of Matoi-chan I have to keep at least one of her shticks warm!"
"As long as you don't start falling in love with me..." Chisame said and shuddered.
"Regardless, I'm not omniscient, so I have no idea about the exact circumstances of Princess Arika's death, or even whether she's truly dead or not..."
Negi's eyes snapped unnaturally open, and he turned towards her. "Do you mean... There's an actual chance she's still alive?!"
"Oh, now that you learn she's a Queen you actually start caring about her!" Skuld said. "Why weren't you asking me that all these past months?"
"I hate to admit it, but that's actually a damn good question," Chisame said, and Kotaro and Tsukuyomi nodded.
"Nobody ever gave me any reasons to believe she might be actually alive!" Negi told Skuld. "But if there's no grave anywhere, then...!"
"No grave that we know of. For all we know she's buried in a nameless plot anywhere in this world," Skuld said bluntly. "But across the alternate timelines, there are a few where Arika lives on at this point of time, indeed. Universes 6904877 and 1300818. Although-"
"Although...?" Negi repeated eagerly.
"Nothing," Skuld sighed. "But you should be warned that, if your mother turned out alive, and I'm not saying that your mother and Arika are the same person nudge nudge wink wink, she'd really want for you to secure the continuity of your bloodline as thoroughly as possible, nudge nudge wink wink."
Negi blinked. "Nudge nudge wink wink? What is that supposed to mean?"
"Yeah, Neechan, stop talking in riddles!" Kotaro said. "What are you getting to here?"
Rito, Louise, Yue, Nodoka, Asuna, Emily, Collet, Beatrix, Sayo, Ai, Tsukuyomi, Kirche and Montmorency facepalmed. Chisame was too used to Negi already and Tabitha had too much restrain, though.
"See, that's what I mean with you not being ready yet!" Skuld said. "Rakan may be an asshole but he's got a point of sorts on not telling you everything about her yet!"
"Why, was she indeed a bad person?" Negi asked.
"It's not that..." Skuld said uncomfortably. "But... you know! Royalty can't help but look at the world in their own ways! Just think of Lala!"
"Or you, for that matter," Tsukuyomi said.
"True, technically I'm divine royalty," Skuld admitted matter of factly. "Which makes that woman extra dangerous to me, she'd probably want me to marry- Gahhhh...!"
"I still don't get it," Negi hummed, "but I think you're trying to point me in the direction of her being my mother without breaking your vows of confidentiality, aren't you? She still overthrew her father, so either she or him were in the wrong. No matter what, I still have tainted blood in my family..." He began brooding.
"Hey, everyone's got black sheep in their family! That's a really ridiculous thing to get angsty about!" Chisame said.
"Not me," Louise said. "Everyone in my family is perfect!"
"You are their black sheep, haven't you realized that yet?" Kirche told her.
Louise slumped down, the same black aura of gloom that had just appeared on Negi now flowing around her as well. "I... I guess you're right, in a way... I'm the only useless person in my family... They must be glad I'm gone...!"
Somewhere, while desperately scouting the city with Keiichi, Eleonore sneezed.
Yue nodded, noticing all too well how suddenly stiff and strangely fully-open-eyed Beatrix had become in her sitting place. "Yes," Ayase said. "He is quite a... colorful personality."
"Are you sure he is the real Rakan?" Tabitha asked blandly. "Not an impostor?"
"Oh, trust me, he performed feats that would be impossible to duplicate for anyone," Negi said. "He's also identical to the pictures my father had of him."
"Is it true that he has a schlong three feet long?" Kirche said.
Tsukuyomi giggled. "You'll have to ask Asuna-han! She saw him bathing!"
"It was an accident! AN ACCIDENT!" Asuna growled, red faced.
Beatrix looked at Collet in an imploring way. "Collet. Please tell me that you got it for me..."
Collet smiled and nodded. "Of course I did!" She then handed her a signed picture of Jack, who was grinning and giving a thumbs up. For a second, Emily thought she actually saw the picture winking too, and it creeped her out. "I couldn't let you down, Bea!"
Beatrix shivered ever so slightly, her normal Tabitha-level cool detachment sorely shaken. "Thank you... How can I ever repay you...?"
"How much did that perv charge you for that?" Chisame asked Collet. "You didn't have to do anything dirty, did you?"
"Oh, no, no!" Collet laughed that off. "Please don't worry about me...!"
Collet slammed her hands together. "Please, Mr. Rakan! Even if I don't have money, I'll pay you some other way! You can see my panties! No, you can even have them if you want!"
Rakan's eyes popped up. "Can I...?!" Then he blinked, looking at Collet's begging, nearly tearful expression, and he made a face. "Hyeh! Don't do that, you clever little sneak, you'll make me feel bad! Keep your panties on, I can get myself into ladies' panties anytime I want to!"
He began stroking his strong jaw while frowning. "Let's see... What if you cook dinner for me for a whole week while wearing undies and an apron...?"
"That's not really much better!" Rito said, bandaged like a mummy while Kotaro held him in place. "For a second, I thought he wasn't going to act like a scumbag for once!"
"Oh, so that's why he had diarrhea all through that night, right?" Chisame asked.
Collet blushed and nodded. "Yes..."
"Now you see why we never let her cook," Emily said.
"Ah, you got off the hook easy, then!" Montmorency smiled. "That's good!"
"Actually, I still had to cook for him wearing underwear and the apron for a week afterwards, it's just that he would throw the meals down the toilet right after," Collet said.
"Oh, so that's why rats came out the sewers dying all over the streets for a week, then," Chisame realized.
"After we save my sister we're going to have her teach you cooking, Collet," Skuld decided. "I doubt even Satsuki is up for that task."
"Thank you, Lady Skuld," Collet said, not offended in the slightest.
"His story is still highly dubious!" Emily said. "Do you mean that he's implying that Mr. Nagi and the Queen of Calamity were actually involved romantically!?"
"Well, Negi had to come from somewhere, right?" Chisame asked. "It's not like Nagi could give birth to him himself!"
"Are, are you saying that you really believe he's the Prince of Ostia?!" the bewildered Sevensheep demanded, jabbing a pointer several times towards the uneasy Negi. "What kind of bid for political power is this?!"
"You just don't want to accept that Nagi married another woman," Kirche said, grinning. Nodoka was actually starting to like her, despite everything. She was much like Paru in a way, although she still liked Lucy-san better.
"Mr. Nagi is for everyone!" Emily said, throwing her hands up.
"You're sounding just like the Superman fangirls on Earth who cannot accept he is with Wonder Woman," Yue smiled faintly.
"Lois Lane," Rito said.
Yue stared at him. "Lois Lane? Senpai, please! That's Clark Kent's wife!"
Tabitha looked at Skuld. "If you truly are a goddess, you can confirm whether he is Princess Arika's son or not, plus the truth of what happened to her, cannot you?"
"We are well used to Sku-chan being a tightly locked box of extremely useful info that she just won't share with us," Asuna said, sighing.
"Over half of the time you aren't ready to learn things, and the other half you wouldn't believe me if I told you! If I'd told you, back when we first met, that Negi was a Martian Prince, you would have booed me away, wouldn't you?!" the irritated Norn said.
"Sorry, you're right! Sorry, even after all we've been through together, I still doubt you, my friends, so often!" Ai pleaded, falling to her hands and knees before the Norn. "Even now, I'm not sure you can help me find Itoshiki-sensei, and I'm still so embarrassed about that!"
"Ah!" Montmorency gasped. "Who are you?! You were here?!"
Ai nodded and sobbed. "Yes, always! Sorry, but in the absence of Matoi-chan I have to keep at least one of her shticks warm!"
"As long as you don't start falling in love with me..." Chisame said and shuddered.
"Regardless, I'm not omniscient, so I have no idea about the exact circumstances of Princess Arika's death, or even whether she's truly dead or not..."
Negi's eyes snapped unnaturally open, and he turned towards her. "Do you mean... There's an actual chance she's still alive?!"
"Oh, now that you learn she's a Queen you actually start caring about her!" Skuld said. "Why weren't you asking me that all these past months?"
"I hate to admit it, but that's actually a damn good question," Chisame said, and Kotaro and Tsukuyomi nodded.
"Nobody ever gave me any reasons to believe she might be actually alive!" Negi told Skuld. "But if there's no grave anywhere, then...!"
"No grave that we know of. For all we know she's buried in a nameless plot anywhere in this world," Skuld said bluntly. "But across the alternate timelines, there are a few where Arika lives on at this point of time, indeed. Universes 6904877 and 1300818. Although-"
"Although...?" Negi repeated eagerly.
"Nothing," Skuld sighed. "But you should be warned that, if your mother turned out alive, and I'm not saying that your mother and Arika are the same person nudge nudge wink wink, she'd really want for you to secure the continuity of your bloodline as thoroughly as possible, nudge nudge wink wink."
Negi blinked. "Nudge nudge wink wink? What is that supposed to mean?"
"Yeah, Neechan, stop talking in riddles!" Kotaro said. "What are you getting to here?"
Rito, Louise, Yue, Nodoka, Asuna, Emily, Collet, Beatrix, Sayo, Ai, Tsukuyomi, Kirche and Montmorency facepalmed. Chisame was too used to Negi already and Tabitha had too much restrain, though.
"See, that's what I mean with you not being ready yet!" Skuld said. "Rakan may be an asshole but he's got a point of sorts on not telling you everything about her yet!"
"Why, was she indeed a bad person?" Negi asked.
"It's not that..." Skuld said uncomfortably. "But... you know! Royalty can't help but look at the world in their own ways! Just think of Lala!"
"Or you, for that matter," Tsukuyomi said.
"True, technically I'm divine royalty," Skuld admitted matter of factly. "Which makes that woman extra dangerous to me, she'd probably want me to marry- Gahhhh...!"
"I still don't get it," Negi hummed, "but I think you're trying to point me in the direction of her being my mother without breaking your vows of confidentiality, aren't you? She still overthrew her father, so either she or him were in the wrong. No matter what, I still have tainted blood in my family..." He began brooding.
"Hey, everyone's got black sheep in their family! That's a really ridiculous thing to get angsty about!" Chisame said.
"Not me," Louise said. "Everyone in my family is perfect!"
"You are their black sheep, haven't you realized that yet?" Kirche told her.
Louise slumped down, the same black aura of gloom that had just appeared on Negi now flowing around her as well. "I... I guess you're right, in a way... I'm the only useless person in my family... They must be glad I'm gone...!"
Somewhere, while desperately scouting the city with Keiichi, Eleonore sneezed.