[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[LordofBones]

The irony of the Fate reincarnates thinking the 10 year Great war that they ended and used to found the Huntsmen Academies being why they were reincarnated only to learn of Salem and then Steam rolll both her and the Brothers is hilarous

THE TITLE OF FIRST WIFE - THE WAR GREATER THEN THE DIVORCE IMMORTAL BATTLE OF OZMA AND SALEM!!!

Click to shrink...

Jaune is the only one unsurprised by the reveal of magic, given that he knows Merlin.

Jaune: "Wait, you're the Wizard from that story about the Wizard and the Four Women of Negotiable Affection?"
Ozpin: "The what?"
Jaune: "Merlin wasn't pulling my leg?"
Ozpin: "Who's Merlin - Mr Arc, I did not sleep with those women!"
Jaune: *scroll call* "Hello, Sister Caren? Can you put Father Kotomine on the line? We need an exorcist here."

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

Blake knows her tropes. Its just tragic shes blind to the ones she falls into.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Jaune is the only one unsurprised by the reveal of magic, given that he knows Merlin.

Jaune: "Wait, you're the Wizard from that story about the Wizard and the Four Women of Negotiable Affection?"
Ozpin: "The what?"
Jaune: "Merlin wasn't pulling my leg?"
Ozpin: "Who's Merlin - Mr Arc, I did not sleep with those women!"
Jaune: *scroll call* "Hello, Sister Caren? Can you put Father Kotomine on the line? We need an exorcist here."

Click to shrink...

Ozpin: "They were my Daughters!"
Jaune: "Wait, so you whored out your daughters?"
Ozpin: "No, of course not! Who wrote that fairy tale, anyway?!"
Merlin: "Ummmm..."
Ozpin: "... I'm going to start beating you now. I don't know when I'll stop."
Merlin: "SAVE ME, LITTLE JAUNE! SAVE YOUR BELOVED GREAT UNCLE!"
Jaune: "Mom and Nana told me to leave you to your fate."
Merlin: "Where did I go wrong with them?!"
Jaune: "You were born?!"

 

[SharkCultist]

@AndrewJTalon where's Yang and Ruby 2? It's not showing up when I seearched it in the threadmarks.

Click to shrink...

We never speak of 2. 2 is a myth.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Of course at some point Jaune might use his Semblance on his Nana Arturia. To heal her. But since he's been using it so often, it has some... Side effects.

Spoiler

Arturia: "I'm back in my prime! Thank you Jaune~!"

She cuts down a hundred Grimm with her blade.

Arturia: "WOOHOOOOO!"

Jaune: "Oh... Crap..."

Shirou: "Oh boy... My hips are getting broken tonight. Thanks lad!"

Jaune: groans and shudders in disgust

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

Shirou: "Oh boy... My hips are getting broken tonight. Thanks lad!"

Click to shrink...

4 days later in a shaking house.
Jaune: wearing soundproof headphones Is playing a game on his scroll.
Shirou: claws his way out of the bedroom looking shriveled up and dehydrated collapses near Jaune blissfully unconscious.
Jaune: not even looking at him Jaune nudges him with his foot and uses his semblance to heal him back before ringing a small bell next to him.
Shirou: Wakes up in terror as hes dragged back into the bedroom leaving gouges in the flooring.
Jaune: gets up to get the wood repair stuff.
Jaune: Haa if Nana wasnt paying me so much and gave me these earmuffs I would be so traumatized by now or well more traumatized. Least he wasnt trying to get me to tag in this time.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Now, I don't know much Fate. I'll admit to it. I'm a novice. But it was this moment in the abridged series of Unlimited Blade Works that kind of sealed the deal:


View: https://youtu.be/-hWTYx91z7w

Because I can see Nana Arturia and Papa Shirou telling their granddaughter Isabel this. Something that inspired her. Something that would help inspire others. Inspire Nick Arc.

And it would be something both parents told their children. Something Jaune would take to heart.

"If the world asks you why you care... Why you bother to care... Tell them: It's because someone should."

 

[LordofBones]

Because I can see Nana Arturia and Papa Shirou telling their granddaughter Isabel this. Something that inspired her. Something that would help inspire others. Inspire Nick Arc.

And it would be something both parents told their children. Something Jaune would take to heart.

"If the world asks you why you care... Why you bother to care... Tell them: It's because someone should."

Click to shrink...

Give them all a mindscrew: Jaune is the reincarnated Gilgamesh (reminder that Kid Gil is a sweet kid)...and at Beacon he meets Ren.

Enkidu reborn.

Also, Dr Gilgamesh memes ahoy.

Isabel: *traumatized* "My baby boy cured terminal blindness by slashing their eyes. How?!"

Yang: "You...you cut off my other arm!"
Jaune: "Look again."
Yang: "What...How...my arms? They're both back?!"

 

[Gur40]

"If the world asks you why you care... Why you bother to care... Tell them: It's because someone should."

Click to shrink...

THIS! This is the reason people fight! This is the reason I WANT no NEED for the Heroes not paragons of Virtues just people trying to do good, to fight. Fiction is unrealistic? Ya and? Maybe it should be realistic, maybe we should do good just cause

 

[LordofBones]

Ozpin: "They were my Daughters!"
Jaune: "Wait, so you whored out your daughters?"
Ozpin: "No, of course not! Who wrote that fairy tale, anyway?!"
Merlin: "Ummmm..."
Ozpin: "... I'm going to start beating you now. I don't know when I'll stop."
Merlin: "SAVE ME, LITTLE JAUNE! SAVE YOUR BELOVED GREAT UNCLE!"
Jaune: "Mom and Nana told me to leave you to your fate."
Merlin: "Where did I go wrong with them?!"
Jaune: "You were born?!"

Click to shrink...

Actually, as per Ozpin's words, the four maidens were just young women whom he hoped would use his gifts for good. His daughters were preteens when they died, IIRC.

To make things funnier, maybe Salem created the Silver Eyed Warriors originally as living flashlights. The caves, mines and kitchen sink in the Darklands are really dark and she accidentally overcharged the magic when creating them.

Salem: "And now Ruby Rose, you will fulfill the purpose I created your people for: unclogging the drainpipe."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Weiss managed to finagle tea and biscuits with the former Queen of Albion and Empress of Vytal, in a nice garden on the Beacon grounds near the old cathedral.

Weiss: "It's just such an honor to meet you, Your Majesty!"

Arturia: "Please. It's been a very long time. Just call me Nana."

Weiss: "Still... I mean... It's just so incredible! You're like a living legend! You took over the throne of the biggest empire on Remnant when you were my age-!"

Arturia: "Yes, because my father Uther was killed in the opening battles of the Great War."

Weiss: wince "Oh, um... Sorry."

Arturia: "It's quite all right. He was a good man. Flawed, but he did his best to rule the empire justly and to train me to take the throne. It was not easy." sips tea "You have no idea how hard it was... I pray you never do. War... War is truly Hell."

Weiss: "Ohh..." Is feeling worse by the second

Arturia: brightens "But I did meet my wonderful husband during the war. He was so heroic! We were holding off Atlas' siege on Camelot while Lancelot got reinforcements. But their artillery, air attacks, and General H. Holmes' powerful Dicer Semblance were driving us back until they were at the city walls. I went out with men who would volunteer to try and get behind enemy lines, but they surrounded us. We were going to fight our last stand... Artillery shells flew in... And they were all knocked out of the sky by swords."

Arturia smiled happily, lost in her memories.

Arturia: "Lancelot had returned with reinforcements, including the Arcs from Radian. And the man who was shooting off swords like arrows, so many they nearly blotted out the sky... Was Shirou."

Weiss: "Wow..."

Arturia: "We slew Holmes, and the traitor Gilles de Rais, and drove the Atlasian forces off Albion. And after I abdicated the throne and abolished the Empire with the end of the war? We were married."

Arturia sighs in bliss.

Weiss: "That's wonderful..."

Arturia: "It is. Though I did have to put up with his other two girlfriends for a while."

Weiss: "Eh?! His girlfriends?!"

Arturia: nods "His childhood friends Sakura and Rin. We get on just fine though."

Weiss: "They uh... They married other men?"

Arturia: "Hm? Oh, no. But they recognized the pecking order." sips her tea

Weiss: "I uh... I-I see...?"

Arturia: "You will have to do it yourself if you date Jaune."

Weiss: "What?! I-I have no interest in that dolt! Sure, he's a much better person than I gave him credit for and well, he didn't use his lineage to impress me and maybe he's actually getting better but I don't-I do not like him like that, Ma'am!"

Arturia: chuckles "Ah... Memories."

Weiss: "I DON'T!"

 

[RandomAsian00]

Weiss really is a palette shifted Rin. Both are tsundere princess's who have a thing for older guys

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Shirou and Jaune are doing some training out in the wilds.

Shirou: "Honestly... I don't see why you're keeping my dad's sword and shield." Slices a Grimm in half with a flick of his wrist

Jaune: struggling to keep up "He-He was a great hero in the War, wasn't he?"

Shirou: "He was. And a very good father. I'm so blessed to have had him..." Kills a few more Grimm by tossing more swords "But it is very old. It needs reforging. Maybe your little Reaper friend could do it for you?"

Jaune: "I mean... You really think I should?" Manages to bash a Grimm, then stab it "Hurgh!"

Shirou: "Absolutely. I know swords, after all. In fact... Why do you even need the shield?"

Jaune: "Cause that's how I fight, Papa!"

Shirou: "Bah. Who needs shields when you can just have more swords?" Blocks a Deathstalker with two swords, then summons a third and cuts it in half "See? I blocked that with two swords, and then used another sword to kill it! Swords!"

Jaune: "I-I just like sword and shield!"

Shirou: sigh "Your father doesn't even use a shield, just a big sword! Your mother... Didn't get into swords. I suppose it skips a generation."

Jaune: "Swords are super cool, Papa, but you're a little obsessed with them."

Shirou: "It is not an obsession!"

Jaune: "Papa, I was nearly crushed when I last went to your house and I opened a closet full of swords."

Shirou: "Well, you were very young at the time-"

Jaune: "IT WAS LAST YEAR!"

Shirou: "Fine, fine! You sound like Arturia. And your mother. In stereo..." sighs

Jaune: "Anyway... Thanks for training me, Papa. I know I'm not very good-"

Shirou: "Relax son." pats him on the shoulder while throwing a sword at another Grimm trying to sneak up on them "Literally the only reason I'm so good is because I trained like hell to get that good."

Jaune: "Oh."

Shirou: "Also some... Other ways but those don't really apply."

Jaune: "Oh? Like what?"

Shirou: "Meeting your future self and getting all his knowledge and power."

Jaune: "... Hahahaha! Wow, you almost got me there, Papa! You're such a joker!"

Shirou: "Heheh... Yeah... Joker..."

The Rusted Knight peeks out of the Ever After for a moment, before pulling his head back in. Shirou tries very hard not to notice.

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

Honestly curious on how Rusted Jaune would react to Ozpin. Beat him up while Glynda rolls to seduce.

 

[Bommel]

Shirou: "Bah. Who needs shields when you can just have more swords?" Blocks a Deathstalker with two swords, then summons a third and cuts it in half "See? I blocked that with two swords, and then used another sword to kill it! Swords!"

Jaune: "I-I just like sword and shield!"

Click to shrink...

Spoiler: The Glory of the Sword and Shield in video format.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVqmP25SlGY

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

Honestly curious on how Rusted Jaune would react to Ozpin. Beat him up while Glynda rolls to seduce.

Click to shrink...

Glynda would probably have to battle Weiss and Winter to even have a chance to roll.

It'd be fun to see more of Princess Celestia at Beacon.

I can just imagine Cinder bragging about how much fire she can create as a half maiden......

Cinder - "You honestly think that you can stop me? Even as just half a Maiden, I command the elements themselves!"

*Cinder lets loose a blast of fire*​

Princess Celestial - "Isn't that just precious, It certainly brings back memories of Twilight Sparkle trying a fire spell for the first time at school! But, I'm afraid I can't tolerate any more of your shenanigans, dear, my son has his first Vytal tournament, and I'm hoping he'll find someone special so he doesn't wind up like Glynda, living in an apartment with more animals than Fluttershy.....

Cinder - "If your too stupid to get out of my way, you overgrown country bumpkin, I'll just burn you to a crisp like the sun!"

Princess Celestia - "Me? Not likely, dear. The Sun and I have a working relationship, you on the other hand...... "

Elsewhere
​

Nora - "Anyone else feel like barbecue?"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

You know, I did make Arjun Sarkara Jaune's godfather in my fanon. Perhaps there's another timeline where Arjun, mindful of Isabel's desires that Jaune not become a Huntsman... Did at least train him in archery and the use of his Aura.

- - -

Arjun: "There are plenty of things you can do with your Aura activated and skill in archery that don't include Hunting. So your mother should be fine... Though let's just not tell her about it, all right?"

Jaune: "What about Aunt Saia? Won't she tell Mom?"

Arjun: "I have ways of keeping her quiet."

Jaune: "Like what?"

Arjun: "Well... First you make your fingers like this-"

Jaune: "EW! GROSS UNCLE ARJUN!"

Arjun: "Hey, you might not mind this knowledge when you're older!"

Jaune: "No way!"

Years Later... At Beacon Academy... Jaune Arc arrives in white armor, a red jacket, black pants, a bow, a quiver full of arrows, and a kukri knife at his side.

Ruby causes a Dust explosion. Jaune walks over to help her up.

Jaune: "Hey! You okay?"

Ruby: "I-Yes..." cough "Sorry!"

Weiss: "Well you should be! This is Dust straight from the Schnee Dust Company! You have to be careful around it!"

Ruby: "Well why were you handling it in loose containers?!"

Weiss: "They weren't loose until you bumped into them!"

Jaune: "Hang on... This was just an honest mistake. How about we all just be thankful nobody got seriously hurt?"

Weiss: "... Hmph. Idiot."

Ruby: "You are!"

Weiss stalks off with her luggage. Blake Belladonna slips by unnoticed. Ruby turns to Jaune with a smile.

Ruby: "Hey... Thanks. Oh! You're the guy who threw up on the airship!"

Jaune: wince "I... Yeah, that's me. I get airsick and I forgot my pills. I'm Jaune Arc. What's your name?"

Ruby: "Ruby Rose."

Jaune: "It's nice to meet you, Ruby. You're here to become a Huntress, huh? You look really young!"

Ruby: "Oh! I-I got in two years early!"

Jaune: "Wow! That's really impressive!"

Ruby: "Wanna see my weapon?"

Jaune: "Sure!"

Ruby produces Crescent Rose and spins it around.

Ruby: "I built her myself!"

Jaune: "That's incredible!"

Ruby: "What are your weapons?"

Jaune holds out the bow, a metallic compound bow.

Jaune: "This is my godfather's old bow, Pinaka."

Ruby: "Cool! What's it do?"

Jaune: "Shoots arrows."

Ruby: "... And?"

Jaune: "Shoots more arrows."

Ruby: "Oh... Well, uh... That's cool... You any good with it?"

Jaune: little smile "I guess we'll see."

The next day... After everyone's been catapulted into the Emerald Forest... Jaune is flying through the air. He sighs.

Jaune: Well, here we go Jaune... Don't fuck up, don't fuck up...!

He throws a grappling hook with a rope he reinforces with Aura (just like his godfather taught him) to catch a tree and swings himself around and around... Until he lands gently on the ground. He releases the hook and reels it back in.

Jaune: "Geez... That's always the worst part..."

Weiss Schnee stumbles through the forest into the clearing. She locks eyes with Jaune. She scowls.

Weiss: "You?!"

Jaune: sighs "Oh, hey. Guess we're partners-"

Weiss: "NOPE!" She turns and stalks off

Jaune: "... Seriously?"

Pyrrha: "Ahem... Um, hello Jaune?"

Jaune: "Hm? Oh, hey Pyrrha!" smiles and waves "So... You want to partner up?"

Pyrrha: "I would love to!"

Jaune: "Well, I'll try not to slow you down too much... Oh, hang on."

He narrows his eyes, and they glow with Aura channeled to them. He holds up his bow, notches an arrow, and lets it loose. The arrow passes right past Pyrrha's ear.

Pyrrha: "Ah?!" She turned around and stared. A Nunda, a panther-like Grimm, had been sneaking up on her, was dissolving from the Aura-infused arrow that had pierced it between the eyes.

Jaune: "Sorry. Man, those things are super rare!"

Pyrrha: "I didn't... Even notice..." She looks at Jaune, blushing red

Jaune: "You would have sliced it in half when it pounced! You're awesome!" Beams "Anyway, cover me while I get my arrow? I only have so many."

Pyrrha: "Yes~. Certainly Jaune~."

Jaune does so... Though he can't help but feel as though some great predator is staring intently at his rear...

- - -

So. What else can be done with an Archery-Focused Jaune?

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

Kek seeing the salt from Weiss over him getting Pyrrha just as she left will be funny.

 

[alderspear]

So. What else can be done with an Archery-Focused Jaune?

Click to shrink...

Really liked the idea of archer Jaune,
Though i might dress him up in the armor of sebastian Vael from dragon age 2, it just seems to match Jaunes general aesthetic.

Spoiler: Sebastian armor DA2

Just change the face in the belt for a lion or something to nod at arturia.

About other things he could do with aura archery, the traditional overcharge an arrow with aura so it explodes upon striking the target, or use the explosion as a sort of flash/stun grenade to disorient enemies and grimm alike.

He could also go the dust archer route, applyng the effects of the different types of dust to his arrows, making something similar to Green arrow from DC with his trick arrows.

Its a really interesting idea for an alter jaune, though i really hope alter-ruby helps him create a more advanced version of Cinders Midnight (two metal swords that join into a bow, hell make it a nod to papa shirou where the swords look like Kanshou and bakuya while not fused together into a bow).

Spoiler: Midnight cinders weapon

Spoiler: Kanshou and bakuya

 

[Sir_Gaea]

Have Archer!Jaune get angry at Cinder's poor technique, hell, have Jaune show Cinder how an Archer is supposed to fight during the Cinder Pyrrha show-down

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Have Archer!Jaune get angry at Cinder's poor technique, hell, have Jaune show Cinder how an Archer is supposed to fight during the Cinder Pyrrha show-down

Click to shrink...

Archer!Jaune would be the guardian angel of his teams and friends. He hits everything they can't see, keeps them apprised of the changing battlefield conditions, and will get in close to provide cover for retreat and regroup.

Again, he's not the best at close range. He's better than in canon but he's not trained as a tank. He hits hard, fast and precisely from range and keeps moving quickly around the battlefield as support. But he can throw up Ice Walls to provide cover, he can blast Grimm with Fire Dust Arrows to give his friends a breather, he can draw fire to distract while sniping from long range. He can do a lot of stuff and would do so.

He would still have some self-esteem issues though. It is Jaune, after all.

 

[LordofBones]

Weiss: "What?! I-I have no interest in that dolt! Sure, he's a much better person than I gave him credit for and well, he didn't use his lineage to impress me and maybe he's actually getting better but I don't-I do not like him like that, Ma'am!"

Arturia: chuckles "Ah... Memories."

Weiss: "I DON'T!"

Click to shrink...

Mordred: "Father! Jaune can do better than this skinny twig!"
Weiss: "EXCUSE ME?!"
Arturia: *sighs* "Sir Mordred..."
Mordred: "None of this pansy shit! Oi, you! The blonde with the cow tits and the abs! You have this Mordred's support!" *thumbs up*

Sakura: "It's okay. I was the youngest too, you know."
Ruby: "Wha...really?"
Sakura: "But...I was there for sempai every day. He...he took care of me, and I like to think I took care of him, too..."
Ruby: *squirms* "Then, I...I have a chance?"
Sakura: *gentle smile* "You have to lean into your advantages, and mine includes having badonkers bigger than nee-chan's. That, AnD mAkInG sUrE tHoSe BiTcHeS kNoW tHeIr PlAcE."

Rin: "I don't like people like you, who hide their feelings and pine away at a distance."
Pyrrha: *invisible arrow pierces her back*
Rin: *sips tea* "Be meek and demure, or a rough and tumble tomboy, I don't really care. But as you are now? The Invincible Girl is a pretty little lie."
Pyrrha: *another invisible arrow pierces her back*
Rin: "I thought I'd have to test your worth, but you failed before you even picked up the pen. Pathetic." *turns to leave*
Pyrrha: "No...no, wait! Please! I...I don't know how...to be the real Pyrrha Nikos...please, teach me..."

*later*

Pyrrha: *in a short, skimpy toga with somehow-practical slut armor underneath* "I'm Pyrrha Nikos, the best fighter of our generation, and this man is where my babies come from!"
Jaune: "Eh? EH?"
Ishtar-Rin: "Ohohoho, war and beauty, baby!*

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

Jaune does so... Though he can't help but feel as though some great predator is staring intently at his rear...

- - -

So. What else can be done with an Archery-Focused Jaune?

Click to shrink...

Again, he's not the best at close range. He's better than in canon but he's not trained as a tank. He hits hard, fast and precisely from range and keeps moving quickly around the battlefield as support. But he can throw up Ice Walls to provide cover, he can blast Grimm with Fire Dust Arrows to give his friends a breather, he can draw fire to distract while sniping from long range. He can do a lot of stuff and would do so.

Click to shrink...

The girls decide that as a ranged focused fighter, Jaune clearly needs melee protection.

Who better than themselves?

 

[LordofBones]

Archer!Jaune would be the guardian angel of his teams and friends. He hits everything they can't see, keeps them apprised of the changing battlefield conditions, and will get in close to provide cover for retreat and regroup.

Again, he's not the best at close range. He's better than in canon but he's not trained as a tank. He hits hard, fast and precisely from range and keeps moving quickly around the battlefield as support. But he can throw up Ice Walls to provide cover, he can blast Grimm with Fire Dust Arrows to give his friends a breather, he can draw fire to distract while sniping from long range. He can do a lot of stuff and would do so.

He would still have some self-esteem issues though. It is Jaune, after all.

Click to shrink...

Yang: "You ever get the feeling Vomit Boy holds a grudge?"
Ruby: "Why'd you ask?"

*we cut to a screaming Weiss evading dust-infused arrows, several swords, a huge-ass drill sword, literal bow lasers, etc*

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Mordred: "Father! Jaune can do better than this skinny twig!"
Weiss: "EXCUSE ME?!"
Arturia: *sighs* "Sir Mordred..."
Mordred: "None of this pansy shit! Oi, you! The blonde with the cow tits and the abs! You have this Mordred's support!" *thumbs up*

Sakura: "It's okay. I was the youngest too, you know."
Ruby: "Wha...really?"
Sakura: "But...I was there for sempai every day. He...he took care of me, and I like to think I took care of him, too..."
Ruby: *squirms* "Then, I...I have a chance?"
Sakura: *gentle smile* "You have to lean into your advantages, and mine includes having badonkers bigger than nee-chan's. That, AnD mAkInG sUrE tHoSe BiTcHeS kNoW tHeIr PlAcE."

Rin: "I don't like people like you, who hide their feelings and pine away at a distance."
Pyrrha: *invisible arrow pierces her back*
Rin: *sips tea* "Be meek and demure, or a rough and tumble tomboy, I don't really care. But as you are now? The Invincible Girl is a pretty little lie."
Pyrrha: *another invisible arrow pierces her back*
Rin: "I thought I'd have to test your worth, but you failed before you even picked up the pen. Pathetic." *turns to leave*
Pyrrha: "No...no, wait! Please! I...I don't know how...to be the real Pyrrha Nikos...please, teach me..."

*later*

Pyrrha: *in a short, skimpy toga with somehow-practical slut armor underneath* "I'm Pyrrha Nikos, the best fighter of our generation, and this man is where my babies come from!"
Jaune: "Eh? EH?"
Ishtar-Rin: "Ohohoho, war and beauty, baby!*

Click to shrink...

Isabel: "Nana, you did tell me you would abide by my wishes and not train Jaune-!"
Arturia: "While he was a child? Yes. I agreed. So did your husband, perhaps foolishly, but out of love and respect to you despite his desires otherwise."
Nick: coughs
Arturia: "But when I look at him? I see a young squire who desires to protect and help others. To be the shield and sword between the innocent and danger."
Isabel: "He doesn't have to do that!"
Arturia: "No. But he chooses to do so. And I cannot ignore my own blood wanting to fight for what's right." sigh "I understand your fear... I cannot promise Jaune will not die. We all do. But it is better to train him now that he's made his decision than continue to hope he will return to your way of thinking. He won't. Simple as that."
Isabel: "... You could have just trained him against my wishes anyway. Ignored me..."
Arturia: "Yes... But I didn't because I loved you and respected your wishes. Now? Now it's his choice. And he's made it."
Mordred: "HONESTLY IZZY! STOP BEING SO WEEPY!"
Isabel: "Auntie Mordred-!"
Mordred: "UNCLE!"
Isabel: rolls her eyes "Mordred!"
Mordred: "You have the power to crush boulders into powder with your strength! Your husband is mighty and one of the few to earn my respect with a sword! Do not lament your decisions! Only look forward!" She grabs Jaune and drags him off "COME MY GREAT-NEPHEW! YOUR UNCLE WILL TRAIN YOU PROPERLY!"
Jaune: "Ohhh shit..."
Isabel: sighs "... You did ask for this, dear."
Jaune: "Yeah... I sure did... Let go, Uncle Mordred! I can walk on my own!"
Mordred: "See? He can call me what I want to be called!"
Isabel: exasperated "That's because he fears you!"
Mordred: "GOOD! YOU! COW TITTED BLONDE! ASSIST US!"
Yang: "I have a name-"
Mordred: "DON'T CARE!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

The girls decide that as a ranged focused fighter, Jaune clearly needs melee protection.

Who better than themselves?

Click to shrink...

Heh, indeed.

Again, it's notable that despite having a sniper rifle, Ruby doesn't actually do a lot of sniping. Archer!Jaune could handle that role quite effectively as support for all his friends in combat.

Pyrrha: "We should stick close together, Jaune. You're going to need protection."

Jaune: "I appreciate it Pyrrha... But I do have to be pretty mobile."

Pyrrha: "Oh don't worry. I'll keep up!"

Yang: "You ever get the feeling Vomit Boy holds a grudge?"
Ruby: "Why'd you ask?"

*we cut to a screaming Weiss evading dust-infused arrows, several swords, a huge-ass drill sword, literal bow lasers, etc*

Click to shrink...

Weiss: "WERE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME OR WHAT?!"

Jaune: "If I wanted you dead, Weiss, you would be. Since you aren't, I didn't. And it's not my fault you foolishly get so close to Grimm when your combat role is best suited to Caster."

Weiss: "Caster?"

Jaune: "Yes, my godmother is one. She unleashes Dust blasts and effects from medium to long range... And only resorts to melee when things get close to her. She doesn't charge in like an idiot!"

Weiss: "DOLT!"

Jaune: "Moron!"

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

Yang: "You ever get the feeling Vomit Boy holds a grudge?"
Ruby: "Why'd you ask?"

*we cut to a screaming Weiss evading dust-infused arrows, several swords, a huge-ass drill sword, literal bow lasers, etc*

Click to shrink...

Nora - "Serpentine, Weiss, Serpentine!"

 

[LordofBones]

Shirou and Jaune are doing some training out in the wilds.

Shirou: "Honestly... I don't see why you're keeping my dad's sword and shield." Slices a Grimm in half with a flick of his wrist

Jaune: struggling to keep up "He-He was a great hero in the War, wasn't he?"

Click to shrink...

Arturia: "I feel a great disturbance in the air, as though a certain asshat was getting too much credit."
Jaune: "I think that's just Uncle Gawain's mashed potatoes, Nana."
Nora: "Hey, they're pretty good!"
The Knights, Jaune, Teams JPR and RWBY: *horrified stare*

I can't help but feel Yang would give Rin Luvia flashbacks. She'll never escape the big-titted blonde gorilla and her stupid Finnish wrestling techniques.

 

[NightDranzer]

Nora - "Serpentine, Weiss, Serpentine!"

Click to shrink...

*Insert big_car_theft.mp3*

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Arturia: "I feel a great disturbance in the air, as though a certain asshat was getting too much credit."
Jaune: "I think that's just Uncle Gawain's mashed potatoes, Nana."
Nora: "Hey, they're pretty good!"
The Knights, Jaune, Teams JPR and RWBY: *horrified stare*

I can't help but feel Yang would give Rin Luvia flashbacks. She'll never escape the big-titted blonde gorilla and her stupid Finnish wrestling techniques.

Click to shrink...

Well I mean, the premise is that Shirou, Arturia, et al got reincarnated into a Death World like Remnant, but had much better personal lives. So in this reality, Shirou Arc had an awesome dad who raised him properly and was a hero, Arturia didn't have to hide her gender, and they were able to fall in love, marry and have children like regular folks. So they got their happy endings but in a world filled with monsters where mankind is on the brink of extinction.