Jaune SI BS
AndrewJTalon
Experienced.
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- Apr 24, 2015
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I think work broke my brain because this is what popped out this morning:
- - -
A familiar scene. Pyrrha Nikos walks up to the tree she pinned a young Jaune Arc to in order to save him. She smiles up at him.
Pyrrha: "Hello Jaune... Is there still room for me on your team?"
Jaune: "... Yes."
Jaune looks pretty distressed. Pyrrha frowns. She helps him down. Once on the ground, he starts panting and wheezing and shaking.
Pyrrha: "Um... Sorry about the-?"
Jaune: "Saving me? No, thanks, that was great, holy shit what was this idiot thinking?! That was terrifying! And why do I have sneakers?! WHAT FUCKER BECOMES A HERO IN SNEAKERS?!"
Jaune continues to mutter and rant to himself as Pyrrha stares in deeper concern.
Jaune: "Shit shit shit is this Hell?! Is this God's punishment?! If I died I wanted to go to Heaven, not start over in this show! Did I not pray enough?! HOLY SHIT WAIT... GETTING MEMORIES...!"
Jaune groans and holds his head.
Jaune: "... Holy shit... So that's canon. I don't even know what the hell to think about that..."
Pyrrha: "Um, Jaune?"
Jaune starts and looks over at Pyrrha. He coughs.
Jaune: "Ummm... Look. I know we just met and I was kind of a douche but... Can I please have a hug?"
Pyrrha: flush "... Okay."
She hugs him. He relaxes and sighs.
Jaune: "Thanks... Oh crap now this feels creepy." He gently pushes her away and clears his throat "An-Anyway... Um... Pyrrha? I'm gonna level with you here... My Aura is not unlocked."
Pyrrha: "Oh?"
Jaune: "Yeah. My mom was... Holy shit that's canon too?! I just made that up! How-Questions for later. Anyway! My mom was going to unlock it for me when I went to medical school... Which is where I'm supposed to be right now, but I wanted to be a Hunter and so, uh... Here I am."
Pyrrha: "I... I see. Defying your parents is... Is difficult."
Jaune: nods "Yup... You do have parents, right? Like, you know their names? Faces? History?"
Pyrrha: deeply concerned "Yes?"
Jaune: "Oh thank God... Anyway! If you could do me a solid and unlock my Aura, I promise I will not slow you down. I just... I really want to be a Hunter and help people, like my family before me. Can you help me, please?"
Pyrrha: confused, but smiling more genuinely "I'd be happy to, Jaune."
Jaune: smiles back "Thanks."
- - -
Upon fighting a Grimm...
Jaune: "WHY THE FUCK DO THEY LOOK SO MUCH SCARIER?! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE FREAKING ANIME CGI!"
- - -
Upon meeting up with the others...
Ruby: "Hey Jaune!"
Jaune: "Oh, hey Ruby." Catches Weiss "Hey bitch who left me to die."
Weiss: "Wha-Excuse you-?!" Jaune drops her and steps over her "ACK! HEY!"
Jaune: "Sooo, we've got the Relics, I vote we all run for it. Any objections?"
Yang: "Nope!"
Jaune: "Cool!"
- - -
Jaune: "HOLY SHIT DIE YOU OVERGROWN ARACHNID! DIIIIIE! DIIIIIIIIIE! NORA! SQUISH IT SOME MORE!"
Nora: "CAN DO VIOLENT LEADER!"
- - -
And at the dorms, later...
Jaune: "Ohhh geez... How did I end up the leader?! Ohhh we are so fucked... I couldn't even handle being a supervisor at Amazon, how's this gonna work out...?"
Ruby: "Hey Jaune! You okay?"
Jaune: "Just... Rethinking my life choices. Or death choices."
Ruby: "Oh... Can I help?"
Jaune: "I don't really know... But thanks for being here for me. You're just as sweet and kind as... Uh... I thought you'd be!"
Ruby: beams "Awww...!" hugs him
Jaune: "HURK! Ruby... Loosen your grip a little?"
Ruby: "Sure!"
- - -
Later in the dormroom bathroom...
Jaune: Okay... So there are two almost legal super hot girls in my team. One is Nora and she's with Ren... And just because I'm a teenager doesn't mean I'm a horny idiot, right? Right. Plus, he's my bro. Bro code applies. But unfortunately, that leaves...
He steps out. Pyrrha beams in her pajamas: A T-shirt with panties.
Pyrrha: brightly "Ready for bed, Jaune?"
Jaune: "... Sure..." I am so going to hell... Or maybe I'm already there.
- - -
Yeah, it's crap, but 99.9 percent of anything self insert-like is. So meh. Don't expect a continuation.
- - -
A familiar scene. Pyrrha Nikos walks up to the tree she pinned a young Jaune Arc to in order to save him. She smiles up at him.
Pyrrha: "Hello Jaune... Is there still room for me on your team?"
Jaune: "... Yes."
Jaune looks pretty distressed. Pyrrha frowns. She helps him down. Once on the ground, he starts panting and wheezing and shaking.
Pyrrha: "Um... Sorry about the-?"
Jaune: "Saving me? No, thanks, that was great, holy shit what was this idiot thinking?! That was terrifying! And why do I have sneakers?! WHAT FUCKER BECOMES A HERO IN SNEAKERS?!"
Jaune continues to mutter and rant to himself as Pyrrha stares in deeper concern.
Jaune: "Shit shit shit is this Hell?! Is this God's punishment?! If I died I wanted to go to Heaven, not start over in this show! Did I not pray enough?! HOLY SHIT WAIT... GETTING MEMORIES...!"
Jaune groans and holds his head.
Jaune: "... Holy shit... So that's canon. I don't even know what the hell to think about that..."
Pyrrha: "Um, Jaune?"
Jaune starts and looks over at Pyrrha. He coughs.
Jaune: "Ummm... Look. I know we just met and I was kind of a douche but... Can I please have a hug?"
Pyrrha: flush "... Okay."
She hugs him. He relaxes and sighs.
Jaune: "Thanks... Oh crap now this feels creepy." He gently pushes her away and clears his throat "An-Anyway... Um... Pyrrha? I'm gonna level with you here... My Aura is not unlocked."
Pyrrha: "Oh?"
Jaune: "Yeah. My mom was... Holy shit that's canon too?! I just made that up! How-Questions for later. Anyway! My mom was going to unlock it for me when I went to medical school... Which is where I'm supposed to be right now, but I wanted to be a Hunter and so, uh... Here I am."
Pyrrha: "I... I see. Defying your parents is... Is difficult."
Jaune: nods "Yup... You do have parents, right? Like, you know their names? Faces? History?"
Pyrrha: deeply concerned "Yes?"
Jaune: "Oh thank God... Anyway! If you could do me a solid and unlock my Aura, I promise I will not slow you down. I just... I really want to be a Hunter and help people, like my family before me. Can you help me, please?"
Pyrrha: confused, but smiling more genuinely "I'd be happy to, Jaune."
Jaune: smiles back "Thanks."
- - -
Upon fighting a Grimm...
Jaune: "WHY THE FUCK DO THEY LOOK SO MUCH SCARIER?! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE FREAKING ANIME CGI!"
- - -
Upon meeting up with the others...
Ruby: "Hey Jaune!"
Jaune: "Oh, hey Ruby." Catches Weiss "Hey bitch who left me to die."
Weiss: "Wha-Excuse you-?!" Jaune drops her and steps over her "ACK! HEY!"
Jaune: "Sooo, we've got the Relics, I vote we all run for it. Any objections?"
Yang: "Nope!"
Jaune: "Cool!"
- - -
Jaune: "HOLY SHIT DIE YOU OVERGROWN ARACHNID! DIIIIIE! DIIIIIIIIIE! NORA! SQUISH IT SOME MORE!"
Nora: "CAN DO VIOLENT LEADER!"
- - -
And at the dorms, later...
Jaune: "Ohhh geez... How did I end up the leader?! Ohhh we are so fucked... I couldn't even handle being a supervisor at Amazon, how's this gonna work out...?"
Ruby: "Hey Jaune! You okay?"
Jaune: "Just... Rethinking my life choices. Or death choices."
Ruby: "Oh... Can I help?"
Jaune: "I don't really know... But thanks for being here for me. You're just as sweet and kind as... Uh... I thought you'd be!"
Ruby: beams "Awww...!" hugs him
Jaune: "HURK! Ruby... Loosen your grip a little?"
Ruby: "Sure!"
- - -
Later in the dormroom bathroom...
Jaune: Okay... So there are two almost legal super hot girls in my team. One is Nora and she's with Ren... And just because I'm a teenager doesn't mean I'm a horny idiot, right? Right. Plus, he's my bro. Bro code applies. But unfortunately, that leaves...
He steps out. Pyrrha beams in her pajamas: A T-shirt with panties.
Pyrrha: brightly "Ready for bed, Jaune?"
Jaune: "... Sure..." I am so going to hell... Or maybe I'm already there.
- - -
Yeah, it's crap, but 99.9 percent of anything self insert-like is. So meh. Don't expect a continuation.