[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[SharkCultist]

Had a strange idea. Very crackish.

Christmas is over and Jaune and his family are loading up guns and traps and equipment.

So of course naturally jaunes friends assume they're going camping.

Nope.

They're gonna kill Santa.

They do it every year. They have to kill Santa before New Year so he can be reborn as baby new year.

If they fail he'll turn into a demon worse than Salem and unleash ten thousand years of suffering. (It happened once and really sucked for everyone. It's why Salem makes no Grimm attacks happen between Christmas eve and the day after new years. She doesn't want to deal with it either.)

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

Had a strange idea. Very crackish.

Christmas is over and Jaune and his family are loading up guns and traps and equipment.

So of course naturally jaunes friends assume they're going camping.

Nope.

They're gonna kill Santa.

They do it every year. They have to kill Santa before New Year so he can be reborn as baby new year.

If they fail he'll turn into a demon worse than Salem and unleash ten thousand years of suffering. (It happened once and really sucked for everyone. It's why Salem makes no Grimm attacks happen between Christians eve and the day after new years. She doesn't want to deal with it either.)

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Merry Christmas! And kek they gotta lay siege like that american dad episode.

 

[LordofBones]

"Yeah," Jaune said, "Hot cocoa?"

"S-Sounds good," Ruby agreed.

They turned and slowly walked away together.

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Nice and sweet. This obviously leads to Yang being visited by three ghosts to change her behavior.

Yang: "Wha - MOM?! What are all these chains for?!"
Summer: "This is my punishment for not putting my family over my heroics. Each link is a regret, and I am damned to wander the Earth, helpless to do more than watch my daughters become teenage vigilantes and single cat ladies and get folded in half by big blonde himbos."
Yang: *tearfully* "No, mom, I...wait, what were those last bits?"

 

[Ardrianian]

Had a strange idea. Very crackish.

Christmas is over and Jaune and his family are loading up guns and traps and equipment.

So of course naturally jaunes friends assume they're going camping.

Nope.

They're gonna kill Santa.

They do it every year. They have to kill Santa before New Year so he can be reborn as baby new year.

Click to shrink...

You binged watched Krampus and the Futurama Christmas episode together? Sounds like an epic fever dream.

 

[SharkCultist]

You binged watched Krampus and the Futurama Christmas episode together? Sounds like an epic fever dream.

Click to shrink...

No just woke up at 6 in the morning and let me fingers type whatever they wanted without brain input. Liked the idea and altered it to fit RWBY.

 

[MasterChief]

It's more like Yang exasperatedly making the realization that she's just like Summer, before it finally sinks in that she's just like Summer (and not Raven, as she often fears).

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Ah, so I was half right, thanks for clearing that up.

Might be an unpopular opinion, but I prefer fox girl Pyrrha over bunny girl Pyrrha, because bunny Jaune and fox Pyrrha seems funny to me, but that's just me.

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You're not wrong, though Pyrrha strikes me as more of a dog Faunus 'cause of her loyalty, though I admit I wouldn't mind seeing Pyr as a bird Faunus, though that's mostly 'cause I personally like bird girls and think they're underrated, so there's bias on my end. I just hope Blake doesn't call me racist for the comparison, either way.

Ok so I don't know if you've ever seen the movie "the sword in the stone" but there's a scene where Merlin turns Arthur into a squirrel for a bit.

And a female red squirrel falls head over heels for him...and gets absolutely heartbroken when he turns human again.

It was so sad and adorable that people keep drawing art and things of her being human.

Come on. Doesn't that look like it could be a Jaune and Pyrrha thing?

Plus. Fluffy tail.

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Huh, didn't know that there was such art of them, especially cute art like this. Either way, Pyrrha with a cute, fluffy squirrel tail is definitely appealing.

"Do you know dear sister why I despise your group? It's because despite what you believe you're all as blind as that Taurus boy. You chase momentary satisfaction and rewards without seeing the dangers and cost of your actions."

*He turns a unconcerned eye to his visibly offended sister*

"A shop threatened into serving white fang members will eventually betray you. To cops, enemies, maybe they give you faulty products. Or maybe you idiots don't even buy the products and just take them as donations. Then they go under and you're still out a supply line but maybe if you were productive, say as guards, part time staff, or even just advertising they'd be more inclined to give you preferable treatment."

*He glares at her*

"You fools would set the world on fire just to have warmth in the night, so no dear sister you do not have my support. Make sure to close the door on your way out."

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Man, I don't know if it's 'cause of "Tale Spin," but I can't help but imagine Tony Jay's voice as Sienna's brother, which I'm assuming is intentional since he voiced Khan in "Tale Spin?"

Nice and sweet. This obviously leads to Yang being visited by three ghosts to change her behavior.

Yang: "Wha - MOM?! What are all these chains for?!"
Summer: "This is my punishment for not putting my family over my heroics. Each link is a regret, and I am damned to wander the Earth, helpless to do more than watch my daughters become teenage vigilantes and single cat ladies and get folded in half by big blonde himbos."
Yang: *tearfully* "No, mom, I...wait, what were those last bits?"

Click to shrink...

Heh, good use of mood whiplash. Either way. it makes me wonder who the Ghosts will be.

 

[SharkCultist]

Small idea here (a bit late)

But Ruby doesn't like Santa!

For a oddly sweet reason.

"You shouldn't need threats and bribes to be a good person."

 

[cavalal386]

"You shouldn't need threats and bribes to be a good person."

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"A likely story, but you're still not getting these cookies."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Some prompts today:

-Sonic the Hedgehog and his supporting cast (well some of them, let's not go crazy) are Faunus in Remnant. He was raised by humans (as per the movies). Let's explore this!

-Jaune takes what he THINKS is Crocea Mors to Beacon... Turns out it's his Nana Arturia's Excalibur. Oops.

-What does Taiyang teach specifically? And what if he agreed to become a teacher at Beacon when his girls became students?

-Jaune and Ren accidentally switch bodies. Hilarity ensues.

-Sun realizes he comes off as someone only interested in getting into Blake's pants. He tries to change this by becoming more intellectual and political. Again, hilarity ensues.

-Nora is adopted by the Arc Family in Volume 2. How do things change from then on?

-Pyrrha's aunt, Artemis of Bana-Mighdall, an Amazon warrior who helped train her, comes to visit at Beacon and see how she's getting on. Yes, it's the DC Comics version.

-Alternatively, Pyrrha's Aunt Shampoo visits as a Mistralian Amazon to see how she's getting on. And help her with her love life.

-Arslan and Neptune in my meta fan canon are childhood friends-Emphasis on friends. She sees him as an annoying little brother and he sees her as an annoying big sister. Let's explore this some!

 

[SharkCultist]

-What does Taiyang teach specifically? And what if he agreed to become a teacher at Beacon when his girls became students?

Click to shrink...

"Welcome to teamwork and cohesion class. Many of you will see this class as useless, and for some of you maybe it will be. You just click, perfect partners fighting together like a well oiled machine. But for many of you that's not going to be the case."

*Taiyang takes a deep breath*

"I saw my own team collapse. I've gone over it again and again, seen all the mistakes and flaws in hindsight. I'm here to hopefully keep you from making the same mistakes."

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

-Jaune takes what he THINKS is Crocea Mors to Beacon... Turns out it's his Nana Arturia's Excalibur. Oops.

Click to shrink...

Ruby - "What did you bring to Beacon as a weapon, Jaune?"

Jaune - "Oh, I brought my Grandfather's old sword, but it doesn't fit in the shield sheath for some reason...."

*Ruby's eyes dilate like a starving Blake finding a fresh side of salmon...*
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Ruby - "How does he have the Excalibur??? How can he not recognize it??? Should I tell him.... wait.. if I tell him he might send back, and I won't get to hold it, or even look at it close up and take scroll pics for my DustTube channel! What do I do? What do I say?"

Jaune - "....and that's why my mother told me strangers are only friends you haven't met yet! Ruby, are you ok, you're kind of staring...."

Ruby - "Let me polish your sword."

 

[SharkCultist]

Short but horrifying idea.

Ruby is introducing Penny to memes and they come across the one about it being possible to run Doom on anything.

So they try to run doom on Penny.