[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[cavalal386]

Cowboys of Remnant: Yang 'Em High

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damn it, Yang!! Again?! at this rate there won't be any bar or information broker left that'll let you in. are you trying to lose a limb? because that's how you lose a limb!

 

[The Sleepless One]

Well, at least she actually offered to pay the broker before she resorted to beating their face in.

She's still doing her damnedest to get a hit put on her head, though, and I'm amazed that this more worldly Jaune's not calling her out on it.

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Hey, she didn't throw the first punch in this case.

And yes, Jaune will be calling her out on it but there's a time and place for everything.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Jaune sighed as he closed his locker. It was right after Forever Fall, and he was still a little sore. Mostly from training with Pyrrha, but he appreciated that.

He turned... Only to be greeted by Cardin. The big guy looked remorseful.

"Uh, hey Jaune."

"Cardin," Jaune said, "What do you want?"

"Uh... Well...?" He sighed, and handed Jaune a small device. "Just... Clench up."

"Clench wha-?"

The world turned into white light, and the locker room vanished. The world returned, and Jaune was left gasping hard. He held a hand over his fast beating heart, and looked around frantically.

Cardin stood there, looking very serious. That was literally the only familiar thing around a large, wide, and dark command center of some kind. Numerous control panels blinked and beeped at him, while holograms slowly turned in the air.

"Wha-What in the-?!"

"Welcome, young Jaune Arc!"

A tall redheaded man with a receding hairline, a friendly mustache, and a white labcoat ran up and shook Jaune's hand.

"Uh, Jaune? This is my dad," Cardin introduced him.

"My name is Doctor Rufus Winchester!" The doctor declared, "And I've been looking for someone like you for a long time! You see... Vale needs defenders. It needs power to protect it, especially with all the evil-doers striking fear into the hearts of people nowadays! Do you agree?"

"Um, yeah, I-I do," Jaune said with a nod, feeling dazed, "What does that have to do with me?"

"Well! I discovered an ancient facility near Vale that was the fortress headquarters of great heroes of the past!" Winchester declared. He clicked a remote control, and several tubes lit up. All were filled with body armor and suits, all of it brightly colored. Jaune's eyes widened in recognition.

"W-Wait... You mean... The Valean Rangers?!" He gasped.

"Yup!" Doctor Winchester grinned. "These ancient heroes defended Vale from the Grimm and other evil forces! And I have decided to bring that back! You are one of the few people my son has found that would be compatible with this great power... And one of the few we would trust with such might!"

Jaune looked at Cardin, who grimaced.

"Sorry about all that," Cardin apologized, "I... I've had to act like a jerk to see who would intervene, who would stand up to me." He sighed. His father patted him on the shoulder.

"Thank you son. It hasn't been easy... But you found us a great recruit! One of the first!" He grinned at Jaune. "What do you say, Jaune? You want to be a hero, right? Well... Here is your chance."

Jaune blinked rapidly, and an old-fashioned childlike elation filled his heart.

"Where do I sign up?!"

- - -

Headmaster Ozpin was sipping his morning coffee and going over some reports... When his holographic TV screen switched on. He'd had the computer set to flag anything that matched certain descriptions of unusual behavior going on.

He watched Lisa Lavender start her spiel, mildly concerned.

"And we're standing here near a battle going on between two costumed individuals and members of the White Fang!"

Costumed individuals...? Ozpin wondered.

The camera panned over. A tall man in red armor, and a shorter man in white, battled the White Fang members, defeating them handily. Lisa Lavender ran forward, as did the camera man. Ozpin's eyes widened.

Oh no... It can't be...!

"Lisa Lavender with VNN! Who are you two?!" The reporter demanded.

The two figures in dark helmets posed dramatically.

"We are... the Neo Valean Rangers!" They declared dramatically, as explosions went off behind them.

Ozpin slammed his face into his desk with a loud groan.

"Who found that thing?! I thought I buried that entire disgrace under a mountain!"

He could only imagine Salem's reaction...

- - -

Salem stared at the news screen. She then... Began to cackle. Watts and Tyrian stared uneasily at her.

"Uh, My Queen-?"

"So! Ozma wants to go old school with this, does he?" She laughed. "SO BE IT! Watts! Begin creating Grimm monsters for me! Make them unique! I'll need at least one a week!"

"Er... And then, my Queen?"

"Then... WE SHALL MAKE THE MONSTERS GROW! BWAHAHAHAHA!"

- - -

With all the anime references in RWBY, it is strange there aren't more Sentai/Power Rangers references. So what the hell.

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Jaune: "Wait, wait, wait... You're a super hero?!"

Cardin: "Yup."

Jaune: "So why were you acting like a racist bully?!"

Cardin: sighs "We were looking for people who would fit the psychology of heroes. You know, someone who would step in to stop a bully, or save a guy who was a jerk to them."

Jaune: "Oh..."

Cardin: "Honestly, nobody got up to stop me bullying Velvet? Nobody?"

Jaune: "Er, well..."

Cardin: "But you did save me so, you're good!"

Jaune: "Ah. Thanks. So, why are the suits spandex?"

Doctor Winchester: "It is NOT spandex! It's a nanoassembling smart fabric created by direct power and control via the Morphing Grid!" huff

Jaune: "Er, okay, sorry... So! I think we're gonna need more Rangers."

Winchester: "Absolutely! Sadly, it's not just character we are looking for! Certain Aura signatures are the only ones that can handle a connection to the Morphing Grid! To fight the Evil Queen Salem and her Grimm Putties, we must look out for new allies and members! And you will be a huge help, Jaune!"

Jaune: "You think so?"

Winchester: "Of course! Though we'll probably have to look out for an evil Ranger, that's how it always goes in the Archives of the Rangers."

Jaune: "Evil? Is... Is Evil Queen Salem the type to use Evil Rangers?"

With Salem, in her castle...

Salem: "Hmmm... We need a hot female villainess. One I can make into an evil Ranger... One good at seduction... Hmmm... CINDER!"

Cinder: expectant "Yes my Queen?"

Salem: "Know anyone good at being seductive?"

Cinder: "I... What?!"

Salem: "Preferably one who looks good in spandex. You've been hitting the donuts a little hard lately."

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

Cardin: sighs "We were looking for people who would fit the psychology of heroes. You know, someone who would step in to stop a bully, or save a guy who was a jerk to them."

Jaune: "Oh..."

Cardin: "Honestly, nobody got up to stop me bullying Velvet? Nobody?"

Jaune: "Er, well..."

Cardin: "But you did save me so, you're good!"

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Cardin - "Also, faking your transcripts to get into Beacon? Classic hero stuff!"

Jaune - "Wait, why did you try to blackmail me over them, then?"

Cardin - "I needed to know you wouldn't fold under pressure like Belladonna, and run out on our team when the going got rough."

Also, Nora tries to be the evil Ranger with predictable results.

 

[Balorak146]

With Salem, in her castle...

Salem: "Hmmm... We need a hot female villainess. One I can make into an evil Ranger... One good at seduction... Hmmm... CINDER!"

Cinder: expectant "Yes my Queen?"

Salem: "Know anyone good at being seductive?"

Cinder: "I... What?!"

Salem: "Preferably one who looks good in spandex. You've been hitting the donuts a little hard lately."

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Shots fired!

Also I could totally see Cinder as a Trakeena expy given her femme fatale nature and her Scarab Grimm, anyone else?

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

Damn Cinder got bullied. This is a fun verse

 

[SharkCultist]

Damn Cinder got bullied. This is a fun verse

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As extra fun have the Hot in spandex evil ranger be emerald.

Double suffering. Cinder suffers her subordinate being seen as hotter and more important than her.

And emerald suffers cinder being salty.

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

As extra fun have the Hot in spandex evil ranger be emerald.

Double suffering. Cinder suffers her subordinate being seen as hotter and more important than her.

And emerald suffers cinder being salty.

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While Jaune gets to admire the Evil Rangers dumpy in not spandex.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

As extra fun have the Hot in spandex evil ranger be emerald.

Double suffering. Cinder suffers her subordinate being seen as hotter and more important than her.

And emerald suffers cinder being salty.

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Watts: "My Queen, it's too early in the season to unleash Evil Rangers!"

Salem: "True, true. Hmmm... We'll just start with sexy villainesses then! Have them beat up the Rangers a few times! Then, thanks to Watts' connections, we can get a source of income by using our toy company to sell merchandise!"

Cinder: "Wait, we own businesses?"

Salem: "Of course! What, you think I just magic up all this food and supplies and weapons?!"

Cinder: "I... Suppose that makes sense?"

Salem: "Now, Cinder! You will be the haughty Ojou-sama and Bad Girl! Emerald will be your bustier Shrinking Violet Subordinate!"

Cinder: "Wait-Wha-SHE IS NOT BUSTIER THAN ME! ... Is she?"

Emerald: "You... You never looked?"

Cinder: "NO!"

Emerald: sad "Oh..."

Salem: "And Mercury can be..."

Mercury: "Um, I'm a guy. Also I'm straight."

Salem: "AH! You can be the Bad Boy to appeal to high school girls and their lonely middle-aged mothers! Perfect!"

Mercury: "As you wish, Queen Salem?"

Salem: "But we really need another hot girl since we're working with a mainly male audience. SO! Cinder, Emerald! Recruit a third hot girl! Preferably a celebrity with singing and acting experience, that would help the brand out a lot! One who has a crush on one of the Rangers would be even better!"

Cinder: "What are the odds that such a person could ever exist?!"

Somewhere, Pyrrha sneezes.

 

[SharkCultist]

You know. Reading these I have just one thing to say.


Corgi zord.

 

[ExFelineServer3]

Well, knowing how this stuff goes, Zwei is going to need armor as well. And a zord.

 

[Dragon Bob]

Watts: "My Queen, it's too early in the season to unleash Evil Rangers!"

Salem: "True, true. Hmmm... We'll just start with sexy villainesses then! Have them beat up the Rangers a few times! Then, thanks to Watts' connections, we can get a source of income by using our toy company to sell merchandise!"

Cinder: "Wait, we own businesses?"

Salem: "Of course! What, you think I just magic up all this food and supplies and weapons?!"

Cinder: "I... Suppose that makes sense?"

Salem: "Now, Cinder! You will be the haughty Ojou-sama and Bad Girl! Emerald will be your bustier Shrinking Violet Subordinate!"

Cinder: "Wait-Wha-SHE IS NOT BUSTIER THAN ME! ... Is she?"

Emerald: "You... You never looked?"

Cinder: "NO!"

Emerald: sad "Oh..."

Salem: "And Mercury can be..."

Mercury: "Um, I'm a guy. Also I'm straight."

Salem: "AH! You can be the Bad Boy to appeal to high school girls and their lonely middle-aged mothers! Perfect!"

Mercury: "As you wish, Queen Salem?"

Salem: "But we really need another hot girl since we're working with a mainly male audience. SO! Cinder, Emerald! Recruit a third hot girl! Preferably a celebrity with singing and acting experience, that would help the brand out a lot! One who has a crush on one of the Rangers would be even better!"

Cinder: "What are the odds that such a person could ever exist?!"

Somewhere, Pyrrha sneezes.

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Pyrrha joins Salem after being promised a redemption arc and romance with the male lead. Zero hesitation and immediately is more dangerous than Cinder.

 

[Bommel]

Watts: "My Queen, it's too early in the season to unleash Evil Rangers!"

Salem: "True, true. Hmmm... We'll just start with sexy villainesses then! Have them beat up the Rangers a few times! Then, thanks to Watts' connections, we can get a source of income by using our toy company to sell merchandise!"

Cinder: "Wait, we own businesses?"

Salem: "Of course! What, you think I just magic up all this food and supplies and weapons?!"

Cinder: "I... Suppose that makes sense?"

Salem: "Now, Cinder! You will be the haughty Ojou-sama and Bad Girl! Emerald will be your bustier Shrinking Violet Subordinate!"

Cinder: "Wait-Wha-SHE IS NOT BUSTIER THAN ME! ... Is she?"

Emerald: "You... You never looked?"

Cinder: "NO!"

Emerald: sad "Oh..."

Salem: "And Mercury can be..."

Mercury: "Um, I'm a guy. Also I'm straight."

Salem: "AH! You can be the Bad Boy to appeal to high school girls and their lonely middle-aged mothers! Perfect!"

Mercury: "As you wish, Queen Salem?"

Salem: "But we really need another hot girl since we're working with a mainly male audience. SO! Cinder, Emerald! Recruit a third hot girl! Preferably a celebrity with singing and acting experience, that would help the brand out a lot! One who has a crush on one of the Rangers would be even better!"

Cinder: "What are the odds that such a person could ever exist?!"

Somewhere, Pyrrha sneezes.

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This should really be added as another threadmark of the Neo Valean Ranger storyline, or else just added as a small adendum to the latest chapter (Neo Valean Ranger 2-ish) or maybe at the beginning of the next chapter.

Also, given that this AU storyline is called "Neo Valean Ranger", Neopolitan should get an important role in it somewhere, maybe as someone deeply involved in the storyline, but doesn't quite follow the genre conventions and acts a bit like a Spanner in the Works to the plans of all the others (completely by accident).

 

[SharkCultist]

This should really be added as another threadmark of the Neo Valean Ranger storyline, or else just added as a small adendum to the latest chapter (Neo Valean Ranger 2-ish) or maybe at the beginning of the next chapter.

Also, given that this AU storyline is called "Neo Valean Ranger", Neopolitan should get an important role in it somewhere, maybe as someone deeply involved in the storyline, but doesn't quite follow the genre conventions and acts a bit like a Spanner in the Works to the plans of all the others (completely by accident).

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Neo becomes a rogue ranger and jumps between the teams as she sees fit. For examples.

Helps the bad guys because she's gonna take the opportunity to blow up the car of a guy who annoyed her.

Helps the good guys because the bad guys messed up a ice cream parlor she likes.

 

[mgl1206]

Neo becomes a rogue ranger and jumps between the teams as she sees fit. For examples.

Helps the bad guys because she's gonna take the opportunity to blow up the car of a guy who annoyed her.

Helps the good guys because the bad guys messed up a ice cream parlor she likes.

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So Black Cat or Cat Woman?

 

[AndrewJTalon]

So Black Cat or Cat Woman?

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That would be better for The Huntsman stories, really.

 

[LordofBones]

Ah, but would Salem be Rita...

Or Bandora?

Pyrrha would obviously be Steerwoman Shelinda. I guess Cinder could stand in for Beauty Zonette.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Ah, but would Salem be Rita...

Or Bandora?

Pyrrha would obviously be Steerwoman Shelinda. I guess Cinder could stand in for Beauty Zonette.

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Let's just mix and match between Sentai and Power Rangers. Both are fun in their own ways, after all. Plus Salem would totally try to get a villain like Lord Zedd to be her boyfriend just to torment Ozpin with.

 

[Balorak146]

Ah, but would Salem be Rita...

Or Bandora?

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Probably closer to Bandora, but I could see her doing both. Her usual stoicism would make the silly moments even sillier.

 

[Abramus5250]

Probably closer to Bandora, but I could see her doing both. Her usual stoicism would make the silly moments even sillier.

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Sort of like A Muppets Christmas Carol where Michael Caine is completely serious and in character whilst surrounded by, well, muppets.

 

[SharkCultist]

I'd kinda like it if she went the Lothor (from ninja storm) route he had this thing where he basically said he's silly because he's strong enough to just straight up kill anyone who has a problem with it.

Also it's just fun when your opponent is being serious as a heart attack and you just ruin that for them.