[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[SharkCultist]

Salem has depression.

Salem has a body that can't be altered.

Salem can eat all the junk food she wants to drown her woes.

Salem realizes this.

Salem becomes a massive foodie. She's not really interested in killing all the chefs and farmers that make the good food but she's still a threat to humanity.

Mostly because of how huge a resource drain she is (and because she still just let's the Grimm fuck around.)

 

[Cefta]

Apparently the /r thing was Mod inactivity & can be appealed in a month, not sure what that has to do with this thread though, thought they did horny pictures not horny words.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

- - -



Jaune sighed as he got off the Bullhead onto the Beacon airship dock. It was already raining buckets. He knew the weather was going to turn ugly, but he just had to get the latest issue of Kamen Vale! He was supporting independent creators!



He opened up Crocea Mors and held it over his head. He walked out into the rain, the plinking of the raindrops against his shield already very annoying. He could make out some other students running for cover, or walking slowly with umbrellas.



Why didn't I think of that? Jaune sighed. His nana had hundreds of umbrellas, why hadn't he taken one of hers when he left Radian?



He made it into the Elphaba Gardens, a series of ruins and flowerbeds just outside Beacon proper, and took some refuge under a few pillars. He sighed and pulled out his Scroll: He was going to let his friends know he had made it but it might be a bit because of the rain...



"Meow..."



He paused and looked around. He spotted a black cat a few feet away, sitting on some marble bricks. It was soaked and looked deeply unhappy, as it too sought shelter from the downpour.



Jaune's heart melted.



"Aw..." He knelt down and smiled, holding his fingers out. "Here kitty kitty. Here."



The cat stared at him with bright yellow eyes. Jaune kept smiling.



"It's no fun being cold and wet in the rain, huh?" He asked in a low, even tone. "Come with me and I'll get you dry, warmed up, and fed. How's that?"



The cat considered things for a moment, as though staying out in the rain might be preferable. It then hopped off its bricks, and slowly approached with its tail and head held high. It paused to sniff Jaune's fingers curiously. Jaune kept smiling.



"That's it... You know I mean you no harm," he murmured softly.



The cat again turned up its nose... Before it dashed up to him and leaped into his arms. He cradled the cat against his hoodie, and it nestled into the warm fabric. Jaune chuckled.



"Told ya. Come on, let's get inside."



He held the shield up and ran. The cat curled up against his arm, but still dug its claws into his skin. Geez, even with Aura it smarted!



"You're pretty strong," Jaune said with a smile, "You have to be, to be here."



The cat purred.



- - -



Jaune got to JNPR's common room. He set the cat down, pulled some towels from a closet, and dried it off. It yowled a bit, but soon was purring happily as he gently warmed it up. He then headed to the kitchenette, rummaged through the cabinets, and pulled out some tuna cans. He smiled and opened them, dumping the contents onto a plate he set down on the floor.



"Blake really likes these, so I'm sure you will too," Jaune said, "You're both cats of discerning tastes."



The cat meowed in a way that almost sounded like laughter. Jaune blinked, then shrugged. It was pretty cute, after all.



He poured the cat some cream in a saucer as well, which it lapped up eagerly.



"You must have been starving," Jaune chuckled, "Poor thing."



He sighed as he looked over his clothes. Despite his best efforts, he was soaked.



"I'll be right back," he told the cat. He headed into the dormroom proper. He knocked first, just to ensure no more embarrassing moments.



(Why Pyrrha had THAT sexy a nightie, he had no idea. Nor why she didn't seem all that upset he'd seen her in it.)



He opened the door and looked around. Nobody was in. He frowned, then spotted a note on the desk. He walked over and read it.



Dear Jaune. Nora ran off to the zoo again so Ren and I are going to save her. We'll be back soon. Sorry. Lo-Sincerely Pyrrha.



Jaune smiled and sighed.



"Well, at least I don't have to talk to the cops this time," he sighed. He pulled off his armor and hoodie, then his undershirt. He looked over at the open door: The cat was staring at him. Jaune chuckled as he kept stripping.



"I guess nudity is fine with you-You've only got that fur coat on," he joked. The cat meowed. Jaune shrugged, then went into the shower. He turned it to scorching, and cleaned up. He exited about ten minutes later, feeling refreshed. The cat was still there, watching him. He dressed in a shirt and jeans, and picked the cat and some textbooks up. He walked out into the common room, intent on doing some studying and maybe figuring out what to do with the cat later. It claimed his lap, and he dutifully scratched behind its ears and stroked its back until it was purring happily.



He had just sat down at a desk and broken out his books and Scrolls... When the dormroom door burst open. Blake stood there, sniffing the air.



"Oh, hey Blake," Jaune said with a smile, "I thought it was game night?"



"It is," Blake confirmed, "But I smelled something..." She trailed off as she caught sight of the cat. The cat glanced at Blake with a smug look. Jaune looked down at the cat and then back up at Blake.



"Oh! I found this little guy outside, soaked to the bone," Jaune explained, "So I brought him inside to warm up and have some food. I fed him some tuna you like-Hope you don't mind?"



Blake's jaw dropped. She gaped in disbelief at the cat. Jaune blinked.



"Um... Blake? You okay?"



"I... Well..." Blake tried. "Um..."



The cat... Poofed into a cloud of smoke. In an instant, there was something else in Jaune's lap. A very female, very naked something else."



Jaune stared into yellow eyes. Yellow eyes in a heart-shaped face. A beautiful face attached to a very curvy, athletic and dark-skinned woman with cat ears, purple hair and a very smug expression.



Jaune felt like his entire body broke out in a blush, and he willed his eyes to stay on the cat woman's. She grinned.



"Well! He's certainly an improvement over your last boyfriend, Blake dear," Yoruichi chuckled, "He knows how to handle a pussy very well!"



"AUNT YORUICHI!" Blake screeched.



Jaune's eyes rolled back into his head as he fainted.



- - -



Let's be cool, mods. It's just how Yoruichi rolls. She is a massive troll and tease and she can't help appearing naked when she transforms.

Click to shrink...

Jaune awoke to Blake violently shaking his shoulder. He blinked and looked around: He was lying on a couch. Yoruichi was nowhere to be seen.



"Wha-Who-What-?"



"She's getting dressed in the dormroom," Blake hissed quietly.



"Wait, that was real?!" Jaune gasped in disbelief. Blake nodded with a sigh.



"Yes. Her Semblance lets her transform into a cat, apparently."



Jaune blinked several times, before his face turned bright red again.



"O-Oh... Um... Listen, I had no idea-"



"I know," Blake muttered. She sighed and rubbed her face. "Look: It's really complicated but I need you to... To play along, okay?"



"Play along with what?" Jaune asked, getting back to his feet. Blake opened her mouth to speak, but the door opened. Yoruichi entered, now dressed in black pants, sleek boots, an orange Mistral-style tunic over a black shirt , and her hair tied up in a ponytail.



None of this diminished her attractiveness in the slightest. Jaune's blush was a testament to that.



"Well, now that I'm decent," Yoruichi smirked, winking at the bright red Jaune, "Let's get the important stuff out of the way."



Blake opened her mouth.



"Auntie, I-!"



Yoruichi was in front of Blake in an instant, hugging her tightly. She beamed and nuzzled into the top of Blake's head.



"I'm so glad you're safe. You have any idea how worried we've all been about you?! Your mother is still crying herself to sleep every night! But thank God you're safe and away from those monsters."



Blake stammered.



"A-Auntie, I didn't-I mean-They weren't monsters! At-At the start," Blake allowed.



Yoruichi gave Blake a grave expression. She lifted her Scroll and activated the holographic projector. A beautiful tiger Faunus woman in a tanktop and robes was sitting on a throne and smiling. Next to her stood a tall young man with horns and spiky hair, wearing black robes and a mask over his eyes. Blake's eyes widened in horror as the recording began.



"Your daughter is doing well, Ghira and Kali," the woman spoke, a slight smirk on her face, "She serves our mission very well. She is in excellent health. She will continue to do so as long as you abide by our agreement." The tiger Faunus' smirk grew just a bit.



"Have no fear. When you are ready to step down, Blake will be more than ready to assume your leadership role... With myself as advisor, and Adam her worthy consort and protector." Sienna gestured to the man. Her smile became outright venomous as Adam nodded.



"We will purge the weakness from Menagerie, and humanity will be where they should be: Under our feet. I look forward to the day I can call you Father and Mother."



Blake's jaw dropped. Tears formed at the corners of her eyes. Jaune, unable to think of anything better, put an arm around her shoulders to support her as her knees wobbled.



Yoruichi shut off the Scroll, her face grim.



"They... All... All this time...?" Blake whispered, shaking.



Jaune guided her down to the couch as she trembled. Yoruichi knelt down to look Blake in the eyes and took her hands between hers.



"I've been trying to get in and rescue you for years, Blake," Yoruichi said softly, "But Sienna was trained in my arts too. And with the threat to your life? All I could do was keep an eye on you. If I could have gotten you out, I would have... I am so sorry, Blake."



Blake cried. She cried ugly, and loudly. Jaune, again bereft of ideas, pulled her into a hug. She sobbed into his chest, her shoulders shaking. He awkwardly patted her on the back, trying to sooth her.



"It's okay... It's okay," Jaune whispered.



It took her some time to pull herself together, but Blake managed it. Her eyes were red, and she was still sniffling, but she managed to face Yoruichi.



"No... I-I'm sorry," she whispered, "I-I was so stupid...!"



Yoruichi smiled and squeezed Blake's hand.



"We all are when we're young," Yoruichi said back, "But wisdom is acknowledging it, and striving to do better."



Blake nodded slowly. She sucked in a few calming breaths. She looked up at Jaune and flushed, before glancing away.



"Th-Thank you," she mumbled. Jaune smiled and shrugged awkwardly.



"I uh... It's okay," he said, "It's what you needed."



Yoruichi smiled.



"So... I take it Ozpin let you in?"



Blake nodded.



"He-He said he would offer me sanctuary... A chance to start over. He... Has he told my parents?"



"Yes," Yoruichi said, "But they wanted me to make sure you were all right. And that you were happy. Are you happy, Blake?"



Blake was silent, considering. She took another deep breath.



"I am," she said, "Happier than I was. Adam though-"



"We'll deal with him," Yoruichi said firmly, squeezing Blake's hands between hers. "He's dangerous, yes, but we will stand up to him."



Blake slowly nodded. Yoruichi smiled.



"So... Would you like to talk to your parents now?"



Blake's ears flattened against her skull. She slowly shook her head.



"I... I can't. Not right now," she said quietly.



"They will forgive you," Yoruichi encouraged, "They love you."



"That's what I'm afraid of," Blake muttered. Yoruichi sighed then shrugged.



"Well, it is up to you. I will just tell them you're all right," she said. She then smirked devilishly. "And that you have a handsome human boyfriend."



Jaune's eyes widened.



"Wait what?!" Jaune yelped. Yoruichi glared, a knife suddenly appearing in her hand. A knife she now had pointed at Jaune's throat.



"She is the princess of Menagerie, after all. No man should be so familiar with her unless he's seeking marriage."



Jaune gaped.



"N-No, I mean, we're friends-sort of-I'm just-!"



Blake took his hand and nodded frantically.



"Y-Yes! He's my boyfriend!" She babbled.



Jaune's eyes widened.



"Wha-?!"



"In fact, we're engaged!" Blake cried again.



"Blake, wha-!"



"I'M PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD!" Blake blurted out.



Yoruichi pulled her knife away, all smiles.



"Well well! Good for you two! I'll report that to your parents! They'll be thrilled! I'll check up on you from time to time to see how the baby is coming along~! Bye~!"



With that, Yoruichi threw down a smoke bomb. When the fumes cleared, she was long gone. Jaune opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again as he turned to stare at the mortified Blake.



"Blake what in the fu-?!"



"I PANICKED!"

 

[FarmerKyle]

Gotta love the over-the-top, panicked, "Boyfriend/Engaged/Pregnant" reply. A classic.

 

[Sir Borks-a-Lot]

Ah, that's a classical Blake situation. Though I'm 100% certain Yoruichi knows the truth.

 

[Balorak146]

And Shitty Kitty shits on the floor yet again.

For fuck's sake, Blake...

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

God this is gonna escalate into hilarity. Honestly theirs only one thing Jaune can do to sell that she's pregnant. He must plow the kitty. Also possibly defend her from Pyrrha.

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

"Blake what in the fu-?!"



"I PANICKED!"

Click to shrink...

Basically Blake's entire character arc.........

 

[Himera]

"I'M PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD!" Blake blurted out.

Yoruichi pulled her knife away, all smiles.

"Well well! Good for you two! I'll report that to your parents! They'll be thrilled! I'll check up on you from time to time to see how the baby is coming along~! Bye~!"

With that, Yoruichi threw down a smoke bomb. When the fumes cleared, she was long gone. Jaune opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again as he turned to stare at the mortified Blake.

"Blake what in the fu-?!"

"I PANICKED!"

Click to shrink...

Come on, Blake, don't stop! It's not a lie if you make it true!