[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[zMADLAXz]

What else could Cousin Jackie be used for as a sleazebag relative of Jaune's?

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So I may have read it but didn't Elon Musk make some sort of like a facility in which he will keep women who will bear children or something(By Ganesha I hope this is false news)

Maybe that is cousin Jackie's ultimate goal? He is a man stuck in the (supposed) past glory and decides someone has to spread actual Arc seed around and raise an army or something of loyal followers who can improve the world?

He might have heard or found some prophecy, not realising that in their infinite cruelty, the brother gods like to plant these kind of pranks for desperate beings. There is no prophecy, no destined hero.

Because we might joke about girls getting with Jaune but what if someone took that the wrong way and instead of realizing that Jaune never focused on that(he only simped for one woman in particular but he wasn't a sleazebag, he eventually stopped simping over her even)

What if instead of following a hilarious and painful process of how a deep relationship is formed, somone decided to forgo the journey and look at that destination as a prize to be won?

Ren discovers his ability to sense emotions early and it is an utter disaster.

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It's honestly difficult for him to modulate the intensity of the emotions he observes, so Nora is a Neverending thunderstorm of it while Pyrrha changes moods like phases in an AC current due to various responsibilities and her wants.

Blake is a condensed blackhole of emotions; rage, fear, apathy, disgust, lust and so much more. He is honestly scared of her a little.

Weiss and Ruby however are pretty similar actually, both are optimistic and cheerful spirits with undercurrents of melancholy but an unending resolve stemming from different sources, For Ruby it's her dream and For Weiss it is her sense of self.

Yang is such a weird flashbang for him, it looks everytime she raises her fistes there are two equally fearsome beasts opening their jaws, Her love for combat and her rage originating from frustration, as if all her complex life problems coulsd be solved if she could just land this next punch.

Jaune is initially a breath of fresh air, he is pretty much What You See Is What You Get with his emotions.

But further observations and it seems like Jaune somehow is always either completely in tune with the other people's emotions or completely out of phase, as if subconsciously changing course of actions by his presence.

Ren atill couldn't understand what was going on there.

 

[zMADLAXz]

Upon rereading my reply, I realised I was sort of wondering how a combination of OOC Jaune SI who spend their time either arguing how Jaune is a soyboy or a self insert and I kept wondering how such a person would act in RWBY.

 

[zMADLAXz]

I agree with Yang being explosive and then I think she'd turn into a bit of a sad drunk

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Branwen genes strike again, masking life's hardships as high functional drunks.

 

[Gur40]

Spoiler: RNJR Fake Marriage plan!

stolen from FNKI

Consider: They did it purely so their respective families would get their stuff when they died to Salem…but then they somehow survived and it was so awkward to explain it to their parents they divorced immediately afterwards.

…a few years later they date and start actually going out, but right before Jaune proposes, they realize they'd actually misfiled the divorce documents so they're actually still legitimately married.

They hold a wedding anyway and pray their families never find out that they weren't invited to their actual marriage ceremony.
-
This is the funniest thing ever. I just imagine Ruby walking into a room and pointing at Jaune before dramatically gasping "You! EX HUSBAND! What are you doing here?!"
-
I don't know why this made me think of "All the convoluted reasons we pretend to be divorced" from Phineas and Ferb

Spoiler: Rose knows the taste of depressed Blonde

She has been locked in a closet with him because of Yang many times she has experience

Well, Rose girls love dumb blondes on the rebound. She's just getting acquainted with the taste before she has the full meal

"It's an acquired taste."
-Ruby

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

What secrets are they hiding? How could they beat them so easily?

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Jaune: I grew up with Seven sisters. Compared to them your all open books.

 

[Bommel]

Consider: They did it purely so their respective families would get their stuff when they died to Salem…but then they somehow survived and it was so awkward to explain it to their parents they divorced immediately afterwards.

…a few years later they date and start actually going out, but right before Jaune proposes, they realize they'd actually misfiled the divorce documents so they're actually still legitimately married.

Click to shrink...

Might be funny if tue to some misfiling and a couple of burocratic mishaps, Jaune is now legally married to a whole bunch of his female friends, and possibly Glynda as well.

 

[Gyron]

Might be funny if tue to some misfiling and a couple of burocratic mishaps, Jaune is now legally married to a whole bunch of his female friends, and possibly Glynda as well.

Click to shrink...

Already been made, and I can actually post here unlike SpaceBattle: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47344786/chapters/119298664

 

[SharkCultist]

Jaune and Pyrrha get sent on a partners only mission, standard thing just a day trip to deliver supplies to a village, kill a few Grimm, and return home for a easy A.

Except this place is weird. Like fun house mirror weird.

Shiroyuki is a small village, maybe three decades old at max.

At least according to their guides. Ah yes the guides. The most off-putting part of this whole thing. Oh they're nice enough...

Rin Lee is a energetic girl with pink hair and black eyes combo'd with a deep seated love of waffles and surprisingly good ninja skills.

Her friend Nero Vikin is a calm and quiet baby blue haired boy with orange eyes and a a passion for healthy homemade protein bars (that rin warns them sit in your stomach like a brick for a week) and a much stronger but well hidden passion for lightning dust grenades.

Gods this is weird. Wonder if anyone else runs into weird shit like this?

 

[Bommel]

Ideas:

- Yang and Ruby have a rich aunt, Taiyang's half-sister, Emma Frost, who adores her nieces.
She is a rich business woman, proud, flamboyant, supermodel, and has very powerfull Semblance, and is also a mother of quintuplets, nicknamed the Stepford Cuckoos (Celeste, Esme, Irma "Mindee", Phoebe, and Sophie) Yang and Ruby's nieces who have the exact same Semblance as their mother.
She has a powerfull dual Semblance (Telephaty and Diamond transformation, but she can't both powers at the same time), and really looks down on Raven for abandoning Yang .
While she does like to tease pretty much everyone, she never had any romantic feelings for Nick (sure he's hot and genuinely nice, which is part of her type, but he's also pretty dumb, and she likes people who also have brains), so her teasing is mostly to rile up Isabel for fun.
It's also very clear that Yang and Ruby got their bust and thighs from the same place in the family tree (with Ruby having less because she's younger and Summer's slimmer build, and Yang having Raven's genes and even then is still growing).

- Not sure who, but Summer may have had family members as well, as she wasn't an orphan as far as I'm aware.
So who could be good family members for Summer?
Maybe someone with a speed power?

- Nora does have a single living family member left, a flamboyant master criminal who goes by the name; Music Meister, who occasionaly visits and absolutely adores Nora.
He loves Nora, but didn't know that Nora survived for a long time, and when he found out she was already in combat education to try to get into Beacon, and he's a well known criminal so he obviously can't be a legal guardian.
His Semblance lets him control others through singing (and doesn't even have to exactly sing the commands, just sing), has a love for large theatrical displays (which he uses to distrect everyone make all his sublte parts of his plans go unnoticed) and wearing and switching many extravagant costumes.
He also thinks that Roman Torchwick is an boring hack without a hint of original style ("he just copied everything from the basics guide"), while Roman thinks he's a loud and obnoxious idiot without an sublte bone in his body and not sense or "real" style.

Spoiler: The Music Meister🎶, Batman: The Brave and the Bold

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Radian was even more beautiful and picturesque than Jaune remembered. The streets, the castle, the mountains in the background, the fields... And the Arc Farmhouse. All tripping memories he didn't know he'd had, ever since the "vision" had arrived.



He stood in the entryway, in front of a staircase going up to the second floors, the walls covered in family photos and keepsakes... And he let out a long sigh of relief.



Despite the strange memories he now had? He felt like he was home.



Jaune: "Come on in, guys!"



RWBY and JNPR put their luggage away in the guest rooms, and went to the living room to relax. Lilac Arc, as matronly and kind as ever, happily bustled about and provided food and snacks.



Lilac: "Hmmm... Jaune? You look a lot taller and fuller!"



Jaune: smiles "Thanks Lilac. You're just as pretty as ever. Mercer set a wedding date yet?"



Lilac: giggles "Oh... He's planning it. We'll just have to wait and see~!"



She headed back into the Kitchen. Jaune sat with Yang on one side, and Pyrrha on the other. Blake took a loveseat all to herself, while Ren and Nora shared a couch. Ruby perched on the arm of Jaune, Yang and Pyrrha's couch, while Weiss sat primly at the old family piano.



Ruby: "Anyway! Jaune and I are in agreement as team leaders! We are gonna just have fun for this whole two months! Total relaxation!"



Weiss: "I mean... If you can call relaxing in such a rustic atmosphere such..."



Yang: "Great!" Takes Jaune's hand "If you don't mind, we're gonna go roll in the hay for a while!"



Nora: "Awesome idea! Renny, let's go-Oh, no, wait! That wouldn't be fair!" She nods to the other girls "Jaune-Jaune! You gotta roll in the hay with everyone else!"



Jaune: "What?!"



Pyrrha: "Um, I wouldn't mind-"



Blake: "Well, if you insist-"



Weiss: bright red and sputtering



Ruby: blushing and trying not to look at Jaune.



Yang's eyes and hair were glowing.



Jaune: For crying out loud! "Or we can just go to the center of town and have some fun, huh? What do you say?"



Yang: "Oh, I don't know... All sorts of violence might be fun right now!"



Ruby: "Ugh... How about we all just go and have fun on our own for a while? Huh? So we can all stop being weird and horny?"



Jaune: "Probably for the best!"



And so they did split up. Blake went with Pyrrha, of all people. Weiss let Ruby drag her off. Nora and Ren ran off. And so Jaune and Yang went around the farm. Jaune talking about his childhood.



Jaune: "And this is the hot springs my grandpa built for my grandma."



Yang: smiles and nuzzles him "Mmhm? There a reason you brought me out here in particular, Stud~?"



Jaune: coughs, smiles "Well... I had a few thoughts..."



They kissed happily. And continued to make out happily... Before someone cleared their throat and they parted.



Jaune: "Mom! Uh-"



Isabel: shakes her head, sighs "You know... Other people have to do things around here too. Maybe hold off on the hanky panky for a while?"



Jaune: bright red "I... Well..."



Isabel: "Just saying. But! You are able to make your own decisions." Hands Yang a book "Here."



Yang: "'1001 Baby Names'?"



Isabel: smiles and winks "Just in case you decide to go that far. Oh, and I have a copy of the Kama Sutra too if you'd-"



Jaune: "No! Nonono, we're good Mom!" He dragged Yang away, down the road, and to the main road leading to the town center "Geez..."



Yang: "Ugh... Is she trying to make us not in the mood? Because it's working."



Jaune: chuckles and hugs her "We'll get it back. In the meantime, wanna get lunch? My Papa's restaurant is great."



Yang: smiles and nuzzles him "Sounds good to me..." tightens her grip on him "I'm just... Ya know... All of this is a little heavy."



Jaune: "Believe me. I know the feeling. But we're here to relax, so let's not think too hard about things, huh?"



Yang: "Sounds good to me."



Which is when a familiar voice called out.



???: "Jaune? JAUNE!"



Jaune gulped and turned around. There she was-Cute, busty, blonde catgirl in a sundress. She grinned and waved, even as Yang tightened her grip on his hand.



Jaune: gentle smile "Hey Katy. It's nice to see you!"



Katy: grins "Great to see you too, Jaune! I... Oh... Hello! I'm Katy Sith, Jaune's childhood friend. And you are?"



Yang: tight smile "Yang Xiao-Long... Jaune's girlfriend."



Jaune: "Yeah... We're together."



Katy: "Oh! That's great, Jaune!" beams "I was headed into town for lunch! Let's catch up at your Papa's!"



Jaune: "Well we were-"



Katy: "Please? I promise I won't take up too much of your time?"



Jaune: sucks in a breath. Feels Yang's look. "... Sure. For old time's sake."



Katy: "Great!" hugs him, and then hugs Yang "Mm! Welcome to the family!"



Jaune's Brain: Okay... She's just a friend. Just a friend... But given Yang's mood, I'm probably gonna want to cut this lunch short... Sheesh. Damn my Arc harem powers...

Click to shrink...

Papa Shirou's restaurant La Belle was warm, cozy, and served a wide variety of fare. Including burgers, though with a French bent. Jaune held back a 'snerk' at the Royale with Cheese on the menu.

Katy: "Hm? You see something funny, Jaune?"

Jaune: "Ah... Just remembering that time I got food poisoning."

Katy: "Which time? You got sick a lot! Usually when Nana was cooking!"

Nana Arturia: "Hey!"

Jaune's Brain: Holy shit it's actually Saber! I mean she's older and taller and has wrinkles and white hair but HOLY SHIT IT'S ACTUALLY SABER! Huh... Am I that unoriginal or did Monty not put this in because he didn't get a clear transmission? Or was he afraid of getting sued? Or were Kerry and Miles that unoriginal-?

Arturia walks up to Jaune, looking stern in her blue dress and apron... Before she hugs him tightly.

Arturia: "Awwww! My little Jaune! You've gotten so big and tall!"

Jaune's Brain: But... She's my Nana... And I love her.

Jaune: smiles and hugs her back "I'm so glad to see you too, Nana."

Shirou: "Hey! No hugs for me?"

Jaune's Brain: And Shirou! Er... Archer... Who is smiling genuinely. That's weird... It's Shirou though... Or Papa... And I love him too.

Jaune hugs him too.

Jaune: "Papa Shirou!"

Shirou: "Heheheh... You ran out in a hurry last time we saw you."

Jaune: "Ah, well... Y-You know... Beacon was starting soon and all..."

Arturia: sighs "You know... You could have just asked us to train you. Or asked us to get you into Beacon for you. Instead of fraud."

Jaune's Brain: What-HOW DID SHE KNOW?!

Arturia: "Orchid told us."

Jaune's Brain: SHE TATTLED ON ME?!

Jaune: "That's so not cool-!"

Shirou: "Son, come on."

Arturia: shakes her head "She can't stand up to both of us guilting her."

Jaune's Brain: I guess that's true...

Arturia: "But... I totally understand." smiles "I got thrown into the thick of battle after years of hard training, my Aura only recently unlocked, and I had to learn how to fight with it in only a few minutes! And I succeeded! Father was so proud! You were just following family tradition!"

Shirou: "Technically I didn't do that sort of thing, I just got thrown into war with only a little training and my Aura unlocked-"

Arturia: "But it let our true strength shine!"

Shirou: "It was kind of traumatizing."

Arturia: "That built character!"

Jaune's Brain: Oh... I see why he was unsure about talking to them... Though I don't think I would agree after the Rusted Knight.

Arturia: "But you're at Beacon and doing so well! We're so proud!"

Jaune: "Aw, thanks..."

Shirou: "So... You gonna introduce us to your girlfriend?"

Arturia: "Did you hook back up with Katy?"

Jaune: "Ah, no! This is my girlfriend, Yang Xiao-Long!"

Yang: smiles "Hey! It's great to meet you!"

Arturia: "Hmmmm..." Eyes narrow

Yang: Stares back

Arturia: "So... You serious about my great-grandson, huh?"

Yang: "Yes."

Jaune's Brain: Oh God, she can't be rivals with a Granny Xiao-Long here too, can she?!

Arturia: "... You look strong, and you're very pretty!" She hugs Yang "It's great to meet you! Call me Nana!"

Yang: "Well... Thank you, Nana!" smiles and hugs her back

Shirou: "Heheh... Knew you couldn't resist a warrior woman, huh kid? Runs in the family, you know."

Jaune: flush "Ah, well..."

Katy is smiling a bit uncomfortably. Jaune cannot blame her.

Yang, Jaune and Katy get seated. The food is soon delivered, though Nana and Shirou don't linger for too long. They do watch from the kitchen though.

Jaune: "They opened this restaurant when they retired after the Great War. They've run it ever since."

Yang: happily eating "Mmmm... Damn! This is great! You learn how to cook from them?"

Katy: "He did."

Yang: "Heh. I'm gonna get fat when we get married, Stud."

Jaune: "Well, I'll make sure we both get lots of exercise."

Katy: "Ha! I get it!"

Jaune: "I uh, er..."

Yang: flush

Katy: "So... You two are getting exercise, huh?" smug little grin

Jaune: "It's... Part of the job."

Katy: "Sounds great."

Yang: "It is."

The two stare intensely at eachother. Jaune moves things along.

Jaune: "So... What have you been doing, Katy?"

Katy: "I'm going to Atlas to study fashion. To support myself, I'm gonna be a secretary for the SDC."

Jaune: "Oh! That's great, really!" smiles

Katy: "Yup! Here are a few of my designs."

She held them out. Yang looked them over with Jaune. Jaune... Couldn't appreciate much but he thought they looked nice. Yang blinked and nodded in approval.

Yang: "Yeah... It's pretty great work."

Katy: "Thanks! It's pretty traditional. I'm thinking of expanding out into Huntress fashion, but that's more complicated since it has to be fit for combat AND look good. Hey Jaune? Mind if I talk to her in private for a bit? You never were very interested in fashion."

Jaune: "... I guess not." He smiled and nuzzled Yang "What do you think?"

Yang: "We need to get this out of the way anyway."

Katy: "Heh... You're not as dumb as you look."

Yang: "Says another blonde."

Katy: "We're all blondes."

Jaune: "Be nice please? This is Nana and Papa's restaurant and if you start a fight, they will kick your asses."

Katy: "We'll be totally civil!"

Yang: "Absolutely!"

They both smile. Jaune smiles back stiffly. He gets up... And walks to the kitchen.

Shirou: "Ah. They're hashing things out, huh?"

Jaune: "Yeah."

Shirou: "You worried?"

Jaune: "Yeah."

Shirou: "About what?"

Jaune: "Just... I mean... I care about Katy, and I love Yang... And I don't want either of them hurt."

Shirou: "You already hurt Katy though."

Jaune's Brain: Geez, there's that Archer bluntness...

Jaune: "... We broke up amicably..."

Shirou: "But you both had broken hearts. She came in here and cried for a week straight after you ran off."

Jaune's Brain: Urrrrgghhhhhh!

Jaune: "... I thought she'd get over me easy enough..."

Shirou: "That's your problem, son. You think so little of yourself that you don't think about how others feel when you break things off." sighs and shakes his head "She loved you, Jaune. She would have been your wife, your everything."

Jaune: "... But I would have been miserable. And I wouldn't have loved her... Not how she deserved to be."

Shirou: nods "You're right. You'd have both been unhappy. You wouldn't have been true... Katy, for all her claims, wouldn't have been happy as a farm wife. As much as she tried to convince herself."

Jaune: "I can't avoid hurting people in my life, can I?"

Shirou: "No one can. But it's how we deal with that pain that defines who we are." He smiles "And do you regret it? Or Yang?"

Jaune: "... No. I don't."

Shirou: "Then everything turned out all right, huh?"

Jaune: "So far..."

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

Honestly this needs a thread already. And man emotions be hella complicated. Especially concerning those you unintentionally hurt

 

[SharkCultist]

So a old character me and my brother created stuck in my mind and I wanted to toss him at remnant and see what happened. This one is just stream of consciousness. I'm writing without any plan and seeing what happens.

---

It was Saturday which means one thing. Ren cooks a pancake breakfast.

He was considering if he wanted to make a fruit compote as well when he heard it. Coming from the doorway. Him.

"En Flambe."

"Still alive I see. I thought you died in Vacuo, seems I was wrong. Shame."

"En Flambe."

"I believe you should be leaving. This is a school after all and you most certainly are not a student."

Standing in the doorway at a towering 3 feet 6 inches (9 feet with chef hat) was a small middle aged man. Short brown hair and eyes that couldn't be seen through his squint along with a small but incredibly curly mustache (it spirals!). The man was definitely not here as a student.

"En Flambe!"

"Since when does beacon even have a cooking class?!"

"En Flambe."

"Whatever. Nora isn't up yet anyway so you can leave. She's going to have a proper breakfast instead of being your taste tester."

"En Flambe~."

"I am NOT mad that she likes your smoothies more than mine."

"Who's making smoothies?"

The arguing between cooking rivals had woken up Nora. Still clad in her sloth onesie (a gift from Jaune for her birthday).

"*Gasp* Ren you didn't tell me Frenchie was visiting!"

"It was a surprise to me too."

Jaune and Pyrrha also ended up joining the breakfast crew soon after.

"Frenchie?"

"Fenwick Richard Flambe the third. He's a traveling chef me and Nora have had the ...pleasure of running into a few times."

"Frenchie is great! He even made a entire cooking technique for cooking with fire dust."

"En Flambe!"

"Yeah, that!"

"well it's nice your friend is here but why specifically is he here before breakfast?"

"En Flambe!"

"What's a crepe?"

"En Flambe."

"Stuffed pancake cones? What can I stuff it with?"

"En Flambe."

"Anything? *Gasp* I can put pancakes in my pancakes! Reeeeeen you gotta let Frenchie show us these crepe things."

Well. There goes rens relaxing Saturday breakfast. Better get the fire extinguisher before-

"EN FLAMBE!"

*Boom*

-That happens.

 

[MetalHead]

Me, being my lazy ass, is taking too long to make a snippet based on a previously made idea for Arc Clan member Cousin Siegfried.
But in the process I got a prompt for whoever wants one. Why don't we make the Arc Clan even bigger?

Arc Clan: Second cousin Anna-Joe "AJ" Smith
Blonde hair, green eyes, freckles, country accent, pony faunus.
A part of a large family managing also large apple orchard near Sunnyville town.
If aura unlocked - her semblance is always-active living truth detector, feels minor toothache if someone's lying.

Will grill Jaune about not notifying his family. If Weiss and/or Blake are with him it turns out that: the Smiths sold apples to Menagerie even despite any sanctions/embargos. Also, Weiss favorite dessert is based on their apples. (Smiths will not deny apples to anyone, that's just cruel).
Might update Jaune on some of their friends:
Their local mad scientist nearly blew up the town three times and taken an apprentice. Who is even less socially adept.
Faye is dating an older gentleman. She is the initiator, so mr. Quentin Lancey is not at fault.
"The trio" finally got their girlscout badge collection.
"Spikey" finally made someone named "Rares" to cave in and go on a date.
Maud started a rock band. It's not what you'd expect.

In the end she forces him to make a pinkie promise to contact his family. Weiss might say that pinky promises are childish and be corrected "it's a Pinkie promise".

Something like that, anyway.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

I did have a thought for the Atlas Arc to make things less stupid. Well a few thoughts.

Ironwood has been relieved of his position and is now just the Headmaster of the Academy. Another general, General Jinjur (named for the antagonist of The Marvelous Land of Oz) is now in charge and is the one who goes crazy dictator. She could actually be an agent of Salem's, she could have been appointed by the Council and Ironwood got demoted after the Vytal Festival fiasco.

Now you have a person in a position of power who has actual reasons to oppose our heroes. Someone they can't trust to tell about the Relic or anything else because she's the one acting like the crazy dictator. While Ironwood and Winter are hampered.