[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[AndrewJTalon]

So, what else happens with Jaune in Menagerie? What adventures do he and Blake have?

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

So, what else happens with Jaune in Menagerie? What adventures do he and Blake have?

Click to shrink...

Jaune and Blake get roped into working at another cafe, and since the only thing better than one cute cat girl is two cute catgirls, Jaune has to wear the getup again, and winds up inadvertently romancing/seducing another White Fang member, this time Ilia, Blake's friend.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Goodwitch: "Ozpin... I really have to know... What are all these plans you've asked me to edit?"

Ozpin: "... Shiiiiit..."

Goodwitch: "Ozpin, have you done something bad, again?!"

Ozpin: "Um... No! Not bad at all!"

Goodwitch: "Then why does it have lists of names, traits, and genealogies going back thousands of years?"

Ozpin: "Ah... Well... Ahem... You see Glynda, for thousands of years, my agents and I have worked on a breeding program. Crossing bloodlines in the hopes of creating... The One."

Goodwitch: "The One?"

Ozpin: "The emphasis probably helps, yes. At the same time, we also set up a series of prophecies and sought to figure out how to fulfill them. In order to unite all of mankind around a single savior."

Goodwitch: "... Okay, I mean... I suppose in principle that's... A good thing? Sort of? Though on the face of it, it sounds REALLY evil."

Ozpin: "It's to save mankind, not to control it, Glynda. Calm down."

Goodwitch: "When is it supposed to be fulfilled?"

Ozpin: "Hopefully very soon. Indeed, our Savior should be joining the school this year."

Goodwitch: "Who is it? Not Ruby Rose!"

Ozpin: "Ha! Ruby Rose indeed! No, not her Glynda. She's too flighty, too independent, not as easily molded."

Goodwitch: "You're sounding evil again, Ozpin."

Ozpin: "No, no... The Savior instead is someone who can be shaped, forged, made strong. Starting from weakness so he appreciates strength, and has compassion. No, our Savior is..."

Cut to Jaune Arc, stuck in a locker. Ruby knocks on the outside.

Ruby: "Jaune? You okay? Did Cardin bully you again?"

Jaune: "No, no... I just forgot to tie my shoelace."

Ruby: giggles "Again?"

Jaune: "Yes, again."

Cut back to Ozpin's office.

Goodwitch: "... We're in a lot of trouble, aren't we?"

- - -

Yes I saw Dune and Dune 2, yes I have read the books, and I also love "Life of Brian". So it's not exactly an idea for a Jaune Sue. More an idea of Ozpin and his agents having to make Jaune LOOK like the Messiah to unite all of humanity.

As Goodwitch says, we're in a lot of trouble.

 

[Blasterbot]

NGL pretty sure Oz would just be trolling with that. still fun though. it would be funny though if it goes horribly right.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

NGL pretty sure Oz would just be trolling with that. still fun though. it would be funny though if it goes horribly right.

Click to shrink...

Who would be Ozpin's various agents to spread the word of the Savior, and assist Jaune in fulfilling prophecies to prove he was the Savior?

 

[Blasterbot]

Who would be Ozpin's various agents to spread the word of the Savior, and assist Jaune in fulfilling prophecies to prove he was the Savior?

Click to shrink...

Port for sure. Ironwood is in it for the lulz. throw in some other rando OCs for one off appearances. Glynda gets roped into things as well clearly. Qrow just drinks and doesn't believe it but his semblance kicks in and in hilarious comedic fashion keeps helping Jaune fulfill the role.

edit: of course we also got Oobleck. archeologist who has found various prophecies may not believe it but thinks it a strange coincidence that so many apply to his student.

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

Who would be Ozpin's various agents to spread the word of the Savior, and assist Jaune in fulfilling prophecies to prove he was the Savior?

Click to shrink...

Fiona Thyme, since she's a sheep Faunus, lamb of God and all that.

Velvet as photography, with Coco Adel managing media relations.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Ozpin: "Miss Nikos, it's so good to see you. We need you for an important mission."

Pyrrha: "Yes Headmaster."

Ozpin: "It concerns Mister Arc."

Pyrrha: concerned "Is... Is something wrong with Jaune? Is he all right?"

Ozpin: "Well... He will face a great destiny. Have you read the prophecy of Verdant?"

Pyrrha: "'He shall come weak and ignorant, but once his Aura is unlocked, he will know your ways as though born to them?'"

Ozpin: nods "You know your ancient prophecies."

Pyrrha: "Wait... That is speaking of... The One."

Ozpin: low voice "See Glynda? She puts the emphasis on the right word, too."

Glynda: rolls her eyes

Ozpin: "Suffice it to say... What else do you know of The One?"

Pyrrha: "... 'He shall be the eighth son of an eighth son'... 'He will be a knight on foot, seeking a mare'... 'He will see the Silver Eyes as his friend'..." Her eyes widen "You don't mean...?!"

Ozpin: "It is possible, Miss Nikos, that Mister Arc could be... The One. We do not know for sure, but it is a possibility. Until then, I must ask you to help him, even protect him."

Pyrrha: eyes light up "Really?!"

Ozpin: "Within reason-"

Pyrrha: "Headmaster, if it involves the Savior of Remnant? I will do anything."

Goodwitch: "Miss Nikos! I will not have you become a martyr for Mister Arc!"

Pyrrha: "What?! Oh no, nonono! I'm not-That's not my intention! But uh... Won't he require a bodyguard AND a concubine?"

Ozpin: "... Yes he will!"

Goodwitch: "Ozpin!"

Ozpin: "What? Who am I to deny Miss Nikos her desires?"

Later...

Jaune: "Uh, Pyrrha? Why are you in my bed?"

Pyrrha: "Oh, I'm just keeping an eye on you, Jaune~! Plus this will help your muscles recover after our intense workout~!"

Jaune: "Well, if you're sure Pyrrha. I trust you completely."

Pyrrha: "Don't worry Jaune. I'll do anything for you. Absolutely anything."

Jaune: "... Riiiiiight..."

Pyrrha: "Now, why don't we remove our clothes for maximum skin coverage-?"

Jaune: high pitched "I think I'll keep my clothes on!"

Pyrrha: "As you wish, my beloved One."

Jaune: "Weird word emphasis but okay..."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Blake: "Pyrrha. Is it true Jaune is the head of a cult?"

Pyrrha: "What?! That's absurd, Blake! This is not a cult!"

Blake: "It isn't?"

Pyrrha: "Of course it isn't a cult! Cults are for fake Messiahs! Jaune is the real thing!"

Blake: "He is?"

Pyrrha: "He is. He fits all the prophecies and all the criteria! Yes he is just getting started, but he's convinced me!"

Blake: "And what is his goal as the Messiah?"

Pyrrha: "Jaune! What is your goal as the Messiah, my beloved?"

Jaune: "I'm not the Messiah! And uh... Let's all get along, be nice, whether human or faunus, and destroy the Grimm?"

Pyrrha: "SO IT IS WRITTEN!"

Jaune: "Please stop saying that."

Blake: "So, you want us all to be equal and kind to each other, and to end the darkness that tries to destroy us?"

Jaune: "Yes! I don't think that's particularly profound or special! Just the freaking obvious!"

Blake: nods "Well! I'm sold."

Jaune: "Wait what?"

Blake: "I'm attracted to charismatic leaders seeking to change the world for the better, and you're much less of a violent psycho than the last one I followed!"

Jaune: "WHAT?!"

Pyrrha: "WELCOME SISTER!"

Blake: "So, will this cult-I mean, religion, involve orgies?"

Pyrrha: "I don't see why not~!"

Jaune: "I DO!"

Pyrrha: "He's so selfless and kind! Truly he must be the Messiah!"

Jaune: "No I'm not! And no orgies!"

Pyrrha: low voice "Totally will be orgies."

Blake: "Hee!"

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

Pyrrha: "What?! That's absurd, Blake! This is not a cult!"

Blake: "It isn't?"

Pyrrha: "Of course it isn't a cult! Cults are for fake Messiahs! Jaune is the real thing!"

Click to shrink...

Nora: " Yeah, that's why we made these snazzy robes!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Nora: " Yeah, that's why we made these snazzy robes!"

Click to shrink...

Jaune: "Wait, that's why you had me sew robes?!"

Blake: "You can sew?!"

Pyrrha: "YOU MADE THE MESSIAH DO SEWING?!"

Nora: "Of course! I just asked Jaune, and he sewed these robes for us! He's the best most helpful Messiah ever!"

Jaune: "I'M NOT THE MESSIAH!"

 

[Blasterbot]

only the true messiah would be so humble

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

Pyrrha: "YOU MADE THE MESSIAH DO SEWING?!"

Click to shrink...

If Jaune is the Messiah, and Weiss rejected him, what does that make her?

Nora - "Burn the heretic!"

Pyrrha - "Destroy the competition!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

If Jaune is the Messiah, and Weiss rejected him, what does that make her?

Nora - "Burn the heretic!"

Pyrrha - "Destroy the competition!"

Click to shrink...

That, or...

Weiss: "Just so you know, I will not be a concubine in this cult of yours!"

Jaune: "I am totally fine with that-!"

Weiss: "I shall be your wife!"

Jaune: "WAIT WHAT?!'

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Arslan Altan seethed. She had come all this way to Beacon, to have her revenge. To get her rematch with Pyrrha Nikos!

The bitch could have at least acknowledged their rivalry!

But noooo! She just said "It's so nice to see you again, Arslan! How are you? I hope you're doing well?"

Mockery! Utter mockery!

She growled under her breath as she stalked her prey. Nikos, she was... She was different. She was still powerful, confident, and effortless in how she moved. Like the invincible goddess she was called.

But she had a weakness. She HAD to have a weakness.

"Hey Pyrrha!"

Arslan pulled away behind a locker to spy on Nikos and... Who was that? A blond, what was his name...?

"Hello Jaune!"

Ah, Jaune Arc. Her team leader. She thought Nikos would have gotten the spot, but this guy had gotten it instead. Arslan sized him up.

He was tall, trim, in armor. He had a sword and a shield, a close ranged fighter, clearly. He moved a bit awkwardly, but with a newfound confidence when he saw Nikos.

Arslan looked at Nikos and-Woah... Wait. She was... No. That was a blush?!

"You did so great, Pyrrha!" Jaune said happily, "In that exhibition match? You were incredible!"

"O-Oh, thank you," Pyrrha stuttered. Wait. She stuttered?!

"I've got some new plans for the tournament based on your performance. We could go to the library if you want to work on them?" Jaune asked happily. Nikos looked deeply regretful.

"I'm sorry Jaune, I have to talk to my agent," she said, "Um... Would you like to do it later?"

Jaune nodded and smiled warmly.

"Sure thing! I'll be in the library til late. See you later!"

He patted her on the shoulder. Nikos trembled. Jaune turned away and headed off, Nikos staring intently at his back with a dreamy look.

It seemed... Impossible. It couldn't be...

She's... She's sweet on him! Arslan thought in shock, And he... DOESN'T KNOW?!

How could he not know?! How could he not want to fall to his knees and worship her?! Like everyone else?!

Arslan's eyes widened.

Here was a boy... A man... Who just saw Nikos as a friend, not a goddess... And she was in love with him?!

Arslan... Had an idea.

An awful idea.

Arslan had a wonderful, awful idea.

- - -

Pyrrha hurried to the library, as quickly as she could without running. That meeting with her agent had dragged on for WAY too long. She barely remembered half of the details, and she'd have to do some revision, but that didn't matter!

She was back in Beacon, she was going to see Jaune, and everything would be fine!

She entered into the library and locked onto a familiar shock of blond hair... Which was next to another familiar blonde head. She blinked. Jaune looked up with a smile.

"Hey Pyrrha! I met a friend of yours from Mistral?"

Arslan Atlan looked up from the textbook Jaune had out in front of them with a sly, cat-like smirk. She had an arm around Jaune's shoulders, the sight of which made Pyrrha's blood pressure go up.

"Hey Nikos," Arslan said, "Just getting to know your friends here. Or should I say your boyfriend?"

"Y-" Pyrrha wanted to say, but she fell short. Jaune smiled and shook his head.

"Oh no. We're not like that. Pyrrha's just my partner."

It felt like a dagger was shoved between Pyrrha's ribs.

"And really good friends!"

Yup, that was another dagger, right into her heart.

Arslan's smirk became more devious.

"Oh? But you are close? Perhaps... Like a brother and sister?" Arslan asked.

Jaune hummed and slowly nodded.

"I mean... I guess?"

And there went another dagger, right into her heart. Pyrrha's fists clenched and she kept up her plastic, celebrity interview smile.

"It's... Nice to see you too, Arslan," Pyrrha managed. Arslan smirked.

"So..." She squeezed Jaune's shoulder, "Does that mean you're single?"

"Er, uh... Well, yeah," Jaune managed with a nod. Arslan leaned in and pressed her cheek against Jaune.

"How very... Interesting," Arslan purred.

Jaune gulped.

Tell her you don't care! Pull away from her! Be disgusted by her! Pyrrha's mind frantically screamed. Don't-Don't-!

"Uh... Um-"

"I've never been to Vale, you know," Arslan said, "Would you show me around, Jaune?"

"I uh... I guess?" Jaune managed. Arslan beamed, and practically dragged Jaune up to his feet.

"Wonderful! Let's do it right now!"

"I uh-URK!"

"Later, Nikos~!" Arslan said cheerfully, grinning savagely over her shoulder as she dragged Jaune out behind her. Pyrrha watched them go, her teeth grinding.

The pain in Pyrrha's chest turned to raw, burning rage. Her fists clenched tightly, imagining Arslan's throat in her grip!

She had been relatively neutral on Arslan before, just saw her as a worthy competitor who took their rivalry a little too seriously.

Now? Now, she had her undivided attention.

- - -

 

[NuclearBirb]

Ah, yes. Pyrrah the cuck. 10/10, extremely funny bit.

 

[Ghostcraft19]

This is a fun read after the ruby announcement

 

[sperance]

Behold! The Evercucked!

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

How about Velvet stealing Jaune, next?

It's always the quiet ones....

 

[Blasterbot]

Do you want yandere Pyrrha? cuz this is how you get a Yandere Pyrrha.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

On an unrelated note, one of RWBY's problems was a lack of villains. They ended up turning Ironwood into a villain just to have an antagonist (which never made sense). So more villains would not have been a bad thing.

A fun concept for a villain would be at least one joke villain. Taking inspiration from this gal:


View: 5eTpUWb-OpU
%20
Villainess:%20%22NO%20ONE%20EVER%20RECOGNIZED%20MY%20TALENT%20BEFORE%20QUEEN%20SALEM!%20PHILLISTINES,%20ALL%20OF%20THEM!%20NOW%20I%20SHALL%20SING%20THE%20SONGS%20THAT%20END%20THE%20WORLD%20IN%20GLORIOUS%20DARKNESS!%22
%20
Yang:%20%22So,%20Salem%27s%20deaf,%20huh?%20Good%20to%20know.%22
%20
Villainess:%20%22HEY!%22

 

[sperance]

On an unrelated note, one of RWBY's problems was a lack of villains. They ended up turning Ironwood into a villain just to have an antagonist (which never made sense). So more villains would not have been a bad thing.

A fun concept for a villain would be at least one joke villain. Taking inspiration from this gal:


View: 5eTpUWb-OpU
%20
Villainess:%20%22NO%20ONE%20EVER%20RECOGNIZED%20MY%20TALENT%20BEFORE%20QUEEN%20SALEM!%20PHILLISTINES,%20ALL%20OF%20THEM!%20NOW%20I%20SHALL%20SING%20THE%20SONGS%20THAT%20END%20THE%20WORLD%20IN%20GLORIOUS%20DARKNESS!%22
%20
Yang:%20%22So,%20Salem%27s%20deaf,%20huh?%20Good%20to%20know.%22
%20
Villainess:%20%22HEY!%22

Click to shrink...

View:
%20
Yang:%20Jaune,%20do%20your%20thing!
%20
Jaune:%20*sighs%20and%20unzips%20his%20pants*

 

[Ovid]

Yang: Jaune, do your thing!

Jaune: *sighs and unzips his pants*

Click to shrink...

The true Messiah is in his pants. Kinda weird Pyrrha named it that, but Jaune never could say no to minor details like that. It's how his sisters got him into a dress. And dance classes. And being a sperm donor at the sperm bank Saphron and Terra ended up going to. Little things like that.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

- - -

Cinder scowled. Having to attend these stupid classes was all for the sake of the plan, but it didn't make it any less annoying.

And now, she was sitting alongside some annoying idiot in a history class. An idiot who had brought a baby along.

"Which brings us to the Albion Succession Wars over the Vacuoan Crown...!" Oobleck went on. The blond idiot on Pyrrha's team (she hadn't bothered to learn his name) was trying to take diligent notes while the baby sucked on his pacifier in the harness over the idiot's chest. The baby turned his large eyes onto her, staring intently. She scowled a bit at the baby, and tried to continue taking notes.

Those wide, innocent eyes were just so... Aggravating.

It's so annoying, she grumbled, Why won't he look somewhere else?

She reached down to get an eraser from her bag... And the baby reached out to seize her long hair.

"Ow!" She hissed, as the baby tugged on her long locks. The blond idiot started, as the baby giggled around his pacifier.

"Adrian, no!" The blond whispered. He pulled the baby's fist, which just made the baby tug harder. Cinder winced and glared death at the idiot.

"Just-Make him let go-!"

"Sorry sorry sorry!" The idiot whispered. The baby finally let go, distracted when the idiot shook a toy in front of him. The baby took hold of the toy and played with it clumsily. Cinder growled and held the hairs the baby had grasped. They were sticky, gross!

Well... Yes she had GRIMM inside of her, but this was far worse!

"You're paying for this," she growled. The blond idiot sighed.

"Sorry..."

After class, she followed him as he took his brat up and out into the hallway. She stood in front of him with a scowl, holding up her hair.

"Your brat got my hair sticky," she stated. The idiot winced again, then frowned.

"Oh, sorry... Hang on." He pulled out some spray and a comb, and grabbed her hair. Cinder's eyes went wide as she instinctively tried to pull away.

"What are you-?!"

"Hold still," the idiot ordered, his tone commanding enough she actually obeyed. He sprayed the hair with the bottle, then combed it quickly. He turned her around with a touch to her shoulder, and quickly applied the same treatment to the rest of her long, luscious hair. He turned her back and held up a mirror.

"How's that?"

Cinder stared. Just some hair spray of some kind and a comb but... She looked somehow even more ravishing?! She stared up at him in disbelief, as he grinned.

"An old family remedy from up in Radian," he explained, "When you have eight kids, sticky hair is one of the tamer things that can happen. Everything good?"

Cinder was loathe to feel any positive things for another, and yet... There was something inside her that warmed at the kindly smile on his face. At his touch.

"... Thank you?" She said, uncertain. The idiot beamed.

"I'm Jaune. Jaune Arc. This is my nephew Adrian," he said, pointing to the baby who was kicking anxiously. He rubbed his head and shushed him gently. "Shhh... It's okay... It's a pretty lady, Adrian, but you have to be respectful!"

Cinder found a flush come to her cheeks.

"Ah, pretty...?"

Jaune grinned and winked.

"He only grabs the hair of pretty girls," he said.

Cinder had gotten plenty of compliments, of course. She used her sexuality as easily as any other weapon. But this genuine sincerity...

Her Grimm writhed inside her, hard enough that pain filled her. Her knees trembled as she reached out to the nearby wall for support... But Jaune was the one who caught her.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked. The baby whined, staring up at her.

"I-I'm fine! Just-Just get away from me!" Cinder snarled. She turned and stormed off, her hair waving behind her.

The Grimm calmed down, though the pain lingered. She tried to savor it, as pain was power. That was a truth she had learned her entire life.

Just because some idiot had been kind to her with his stupid brat meant nothing! NOTHING AT ALL!

Nothing at all!

- - -

 

[sperance]

Jaune being a Dad is too OP, pliz nerf.

 

[Ovid]

Jaune being a Dad is too OP, pliz nerf.

Click to shrink...

All the women of RWBY: "No."

(Fun fact, I was gonna list out the individual names of the girls I've seen lusting after Jaune in Fanfiction, but decided to just use a general qualifier instead of writing a damn page full of names)

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

Beacon Nurse: What seems to be the problem, this time?

Glynda/Winter: My ovaries exploded.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

- - -

Jaune was sitting at Team JNPR's usual table in the library. Adrian was with them, which had become increasingly common lately. Saphron's job assignment in Vale had gotten extended and Terra was working to get a house in Argus. So Jaune was the most stable feature in his little nephew's life.

As difficult as it was though, he was going to be there for Adrian. The little guy deserved it.

And all of his friends had really taken to him! Pyrrha and Ruby in particular cooed over him! Yang had a real soft spot for the kid! Even Weiss and Blake emoted around him.

Nora of course was happy to be an "Aunty", which... Well, in Jaune's heart? She wasn't wrong. And Ren did seem more at ease around the baby, too. In a manly sort of way.

He was holding Adrian right now, humming a soft tune to the little boy. At the questioning looks of his friends, Ren explained:

"A Mistralian lullaby. My mother sang it to me."

"Oh," Jaune frowned, but Ren gave him a small smile.

"I am glad to remember it," he said, "For your nephew."

Jaune smiled back. Nora's eyes were shiny, as she grabbed onto Ren's arm.

"I want one!"

Ren raised an eyebrow.

"A baby?"

"Yes!" Nora insisted.

"We can't steal one, that's wrong," Ren said. Nora grinned.

"Then we'll just have to make one," she crooned eagerly. Ren coughed. He handed Adrian over to Jaune, who gratefully took him with a smirk.

"Jaune," Ren began, "I-"

Nora gripped his shoulder, her eyes practically shining.

"We're gonna have a long, indepth conversation!" She said cheerfully. "Also sex! That was implied!"

Ren gave Jaune and Pyrrha a pleading look. Pyrrha blushed. Jaune shrugged.

"Sorry man," he said, "Command decision. Solve your personal issue yourselves."

"YAY! Best leader ever!" Nora cheered, dragging Ren out with her. The usually stoic young man's face was a mix of fear and anticipation.

"Are... Are you sure that's wise?" Pyrrha asked quietly. Jaune sighed, bouncing Adrian a bit on his knee when he fussed.

"I mean, there's a chance things will go badly between them and that will wreck our teamwork," Jaune said, "That's why romance in a team can be dangerous. But... I think they can work it out. Despite his reactions, Ren does love Nora. I know he'd never hurt her."

"What about Nora?" Pyrrha asked. Jaune smiled.

"Same thing... I mean, emotionally," he said, "Physically? Er... I mean... He can get over it."

Pyrrha blushed furiously. Jaune wasn't much better, but he hugged Adrian again as the baby squirmed.

"Hey, hey, chill out," Jaune said, patting Adrian's back. He turned him around and let him rest on the table. "There you go..."

Pyrrha scooted closer to him, beaming.

"You're so good with him," Pyrrha said happily. "I... I-I think you'll be a great dad..."

"Thanks Pyrrha," Jaune said with a smile. Pyrrha opened her mouth to say more, but a certain blonde brawler walked up to them with a broad grin.

"Hey Daddy Arc!" Yang said cheerfully. Jaune smiled back.

"Hey Yang!"

"So, whatcha doin'?" Yang asked, sitting in the chair on the other side of Jaune and scooting in. Heedless of Pyrrha's quick scowl.

Jaune opened his mouth to answer, but Adrian reached out and happily slapped the textbooks in front of him. Jaune shrugged.

"Hitting the books," he deadpanned.

Yang stared. Her face screwed up, and she laughed.

"Hahahaha! Oh man... That's... That's great!" She giggled.

Even Pyrrha and Jaune started to laugh, as did Adrian. Jaune sighed and shrugged.

"Well... I guess Dad Jokes just come naturally around a baby," he said.

"You mean normal jokes?" Yang asked with a grin. "What do you call a frog who's double parked?"

"Toad," Jaune replied, and they both laughed. Pyrrha smiled politely.

"Um, well..."

"What do you get from a pampered cow?" Jaune asked.

"Spoiled milk!" Yang giggled.

Jaune chuckled with her, as Adrian giggled happily as well. Pyrrha cleared her throat, and all eyes were on her.

"Um... What does a cow use... To do math? A... A cow-culator!"

Silence. Adrian whimpered. Pyrrha gasped.

"Oh no, don't cry Adrian, I'm sorry-!"

"It's okay, it's okay," Jaune chuckled, hugging Adrian and soothing him. Yang leaned in and stroked his back, getting very close to Jaune.

"Yeah P-Money. We don't all have the comedy chops," she said with a grin, "Sides, I'm the one who makes cow jokes. I've got the milk."

She very deliberately put her arms under her chest and smirked at that. Jaune flushed as Pyrrha scowled.

"Y-Yang! Not in front of Adrian!"

"Come on, he's a baby!" Yang insisted. "He's honest about what he likes, right?"

She pulled the baby to her chest, and Adrian snuggled in happily. She grinned, rather smugly, over at Pyrrha.

"See?"

"Yeah," Jaune chuckled, blushing a bit, "I... I think you'd be a great mom. Not just for that though!"

It was Yang's turn to blush. Pyrrha stewed behind her plastic smile.

Jaune looked over at Pyrrha and, sensing some distress, smiled.

"I-I think you'd be a great mom too, Pyrrha!"

The Amazon was reduced to a blushing, stuttering mess. Jaune blinked.

"Er, um... I meant that as a compliment?"

"Oh, she got it," Yang said with a grin, pressing in against Jaune with Adrian cooing in her bosom, "You smooth talker, you~. Now, tell me more about how good a mom I'd be. It's very moo-ving!"

"That... That doesn't make as much sense-"

"Play your cards right, and it will."

- - -

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Cardin Winchester strove to be dominant. To be the best, like his ancestors before him. Unfortunately, this year at Beacon had brought so many higher placed competitors that his options for that were slim. Academically? He was smart, sure, but he wasn't a genius like Weiss Schnee. Physically? He was powerful, but not the same level of powerhouse as Yang Xiao-Long or Pyrrha Nikos-Which was grating.

So... That left the social sphere. Which honestly just left bullying.

Picking on Jaune Arc was easy. The guy was a total wuss, and didn't even fight back. Cardin would have respected the wimp if he'd put in some effort, at least: What kind of a Huntsman wannabe folded at the first sign of intimidation?

Arc was no fun though. The appeal of bullying the little twerp was short lived. So, Cardin sought out a new target.

In the cafeteria, Cardin spotted a rabbit Faunus girl walking by. Perfect.

He got up, his team following behind. He headed after her, closing in.

She heard his approach, and turned around. His grin grew wide, he was all ready to seize her ears, call her a freak...

The sunlight came through the tall windows and fell over her. She stared up at him in some confusion, her large, chocolate brown eyes shining. Her full lips were like rose petals, her cheeks like sleek apples. Her skin was like fine porcelain, her nose was cute. Her hair swung in the hair behind her, gorgeous.

And her body... Her uniform barely held back her large, perfect bosom. Her legs were long and perfectly shaped. Her torsoe was a perfect hour glass-His brain pointed out how amazing her ass had been...

"Yes?" The beautiful vision asked, in a voice sweet and delicate as a song in the summer.

Cardin's face went bright red. He opened his mouth... Nothing came out.

Russel glanced up at him.

"Uh, Cardin? You okay?"

Cardin tried again.

"You're... You're...!"

The goddess made flesh looked just as concerned.

"Is something wrong?" She asked.

"... Beautiful!" Cardin tried. The rabbit faunus girl went bright red. Cardin tried again.

Come on brain! INSULT! INSULT HER!

"Gorgeous!"

WHAT?!"

"SEXY!"

"E-Eep?!" The rabbit Faunus girl cried. His team was staring at him like he'd lost his damn mind.

"Um," the girl tried, "Th-Thank... You?"

MOUTH WHAT ARE YOU DOING! WHAT IS GOING ON?!

"Cardin?" Dove asked. His team muttered behind him. Cardin turned to them, a plea in his eyes.

No! NO HELP ME YOU IDIOTS! GET ME OUT OF THIS!

His team nodded. Cardin felt a sense of relief. Yeah, they'd start bullying her, everything would be resolved-

"He's just shy, ya know?" Sky said, "He thinks you're the hottest girl ever! Uh... Velvet, right?"

The angel had a name-NO STOP THAT BRAIN WHAT THE FU-?!

"He-He does?!" Velvet asked, blushing. Dove nodded stoically.

"He does indeed. He would like to take you out on a date. He's just a little nervous."

WHAT?! NO! NO NO NO-!

"He'll pay for everything, yo!" Sky threw in, grinning behind his shades, "Only the best for a classy gal like you!"

Velvet hesitated.

"W-Well..."

"Look, come on, yes or no girl," Russel grunted, "It's not that hard! You wanna go out with a stand up guy, or you wanna just do nothing this Friday night?"

RUSSEL DAMNIT WHAT THE FU-?!

Velvet blushed, and smiled warmly at Cardin. A white noise filled his brain as he stared dreamily at her.

"Well, uh... S-Sure," she managed. "Um... Is 6 okay?"

"6 is totally cool!" Sky contributed, giving her a thumbs up. "Dress nice! He'll bring roses!"

"I do like roses," Velvet mused. She beamed. "Okay! See you then, Cardin!"

"Y-Yeah," Cardin managed. The rabbit faunus winked.

"You uh... You have a way with words," she said, a light joke. He nodded dumbly. His brain refused to acknowledge anything but her amazing rear as she walked off. When she was out of his sight, he turned and glared death at his teammates.

"What the hell did you just do?!" He hissed.

Sky glared.

"Uh... Set you up on a date? Isn't that what you wanted? I mean, she's a Faunus, yeah, but man, she is hot!" He grinned. "And so we helped you out! That's what bros do!"

"I-That's not-!"

"To think you would have the balls to defy your parents," Dove said with a sage nod, "It will be difficult, but if you want it, we'll support you, Cardin."

"No, I didn't-!"

"Ehhh... I mean, for a Faunus, she is hot," Russel said with a shrug, "There's gotta be an exception for insanely hot Faunus girls, right?"

Sky reached out and patted Cardin on the shoulder with a grin.

"No need to thank us, bro! Just being the best wingmen ever!"

Cardin buried his face in his hands and groaned.

- - -

On Friday...

Cardin stood at the door to Team CVFY's dorm. He held roses, with thorns in them. He was dressed in an okay suit, though certainly not his best. His treacherous teammates had not believed a word he said about not wanting to go on a date with a dirty Faunus-Hell, they were watching him and giving him thumbs up!

Some friends.

The second she open the door, he was going to tell her the date was off, and she was an ugly Faunus freak he hated. Yeah! He'd throw the roses right into her face, YEAH! He'd enjoy her tears! He was gonna-

The door opened. Velvet stood there in a beautiful red dress, that outlined her curves and emphasized her charms better than the uniform had. Her hair was perfectly coiffed. She blushed prettily as she smiled at him. Behind her, Coco Adel, her team leader, smirked with her arms crossed under her chest.

"Can I cook, or can't I?" She asked Cardin. "I'd say I did a good job, Vel. His eyes are about to pop out of his skull."

"Coco!" Velvet scolded with a blush. She beamed up at him warmly. As though his arms were not obeying his brain, he held out the flowers to her.

"Oh my! Uh, thank you!" Velvet said with a smile. She took the bouquet and sniffed them. She beamed at him.

"They're lovely," she said. She put them in a vase, before she reached out to take his arm. "So, uh... Shall we?"

Cardin knew he was gonna do something... But for the life of him? He couldn't remember what it was.

- - -

I mean, in most teenagers, hormones will override politics.

See: Romeo and Juliet.

Hopefully Cardin and Velvet's love story will not involve the mutual suicide...

 

[NooneImportant]

Jaune being a Dad is too OP, pliz nerf.

Click to shrink...

Three words:

Real. Thirsty. Moms.