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[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

"Oh I haven't seen that kind of rough housing since the Winchester/Glocken debates of the last election! But there was far less eye gouging!"

When a vote is deadlocked, the desks are pulled back, and a ring is set up. Each party chooses a champion, who proceeds to fight in full Lucha gear.
 
When a vote is deadlocked, the desks are pulled back, and a ring is set up. Each party chooses a champion, who proceeds to fight in full Lucha gear.
Rather than wrestling legal matters are trial by combat
dcd.jpg
 
Some more ideas:



-In "Kung Pow! Enter the Fist!", we have Wimp Lo, an arrogant idiot of a martial artist student who was intentionally taught wrong as a joke. What would a Huntsman version of this guy be like?



"My balls to your fist style! Ha! I am bleeding! That means I win!"



-In a change of pace, Jaune discovers a secret of Pyrrha's.



Pyrrha: "Are you going to blackmail me for this knowledge, Jaune?"



Jaune: "What?! No, of course not! I would never take advantage of you, Pyrrha!"



Pyrrha: pouts "...Not even a little?"



Jaune: "Hwah?"



-What would an AU where Jaune, Ren and Nora joined the Valean Rangers be like?



-Cinder as Jaune's childhood feiend. A continuation of that might be fun.



-In another timeline, Sun and Blake's parents arranged for them to be married. Sun reveals this after the first White Fang incident. Shenanigans ensue.



-Yang, Weiss, and Pyrrha try their hands at being more old fashioned feminine to attract Cowboy Jaune's attention.



-Who else know Jaune's parents at the Vytal Festival and in what ways?



-Summer Rose leaves a journal behind and her daughters read it together.
 
Some more ideas:

-In "Kung Pow! Enter the Fist!", we have Wimp Lo, an arrogant idiot of a martial artist student who was intentionally taught wrong as a joke. What would a Huntsman version of this guy be like?

-In a change of pace, Jaune discovers a secret of Pyrrha's.

-What would an AU where Jaune, Ren and Nora joined the Valean Rangers be like?

-Cinder as Jaune's childhood feiend. A continuation of that might be fun.

-In another timeline, Sun and Blake's parents arranged for them to be married. Sun reveals this after the first White Fang incident. Shenanigans ensue.

-Yang, Weiss, and Pyrrha try their hands at being more old fashioned feminine to attract Cowboy Jaune's attention.

-Who else know Jaune's parents at the Vytal Festival and in what ways?

-Summer Rose leaves a journal behind and her daughters read it together.

-I can see either Neptune or Mercury (his dad is that much of a dick) being this.

-You've nailed it on the head, Jaune is a good boy and will do nothing with this info, Pyrrha is upset that he won't use this to have his way with her.

-Could be a fun AU, they fail the initiation test and become Rangers.

-Cinder is a hyper competent and ruthless expect when Jaune is there, she turns into a blushing meek girly mess.

-Blakes overwhelming racism kicks in and she makes up excuses to avoid the marriage like he's just a double primate basically a normal human or he's a human with a tail, on and on they keep coming but only ends up gaslighting herself into it because she wants to be collared, Sun is kinda scared but also kinda into it, scaroused if you will.

-Another easy win for Yang, she has experience at this stuff, she sweeps Jaune of his feet, the others though.... how the hell did they set fire to water? did she just poor cold cereal in a bowl only for it to burst into flames? HOW!?

-I dunno the Brother gods in a trench coat? they popped in one time to check on humanity and met the Arcs and got swept up in the family shenanigans and liked them.

-Summer leaves a step by step guide on how to find the perfect husband, what to look out for, what to avoid, how to catch their eye, stuff like that, the girls notice that the good stuff to find in a husband basically describes Jaune, meanwhile Jaune senses he's in danger, while his mum sense grandbabies in the soon to be future.
 
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Oscar Ruins Jaune's Life
Right. I watched some shorts on youtube and decided to write this.

All credit goes to Jaden Williams whose shorts I stole to make this.

Here's a playlist of the the shorts I used: Why, John?

I call this: "Oscar Ruins Jaune's Life"



Jaune Arc stepped into the home he and his friends were currently sharing in Mistral.

As he wandered past the bathroom he stopped. He could see Oscar kneeling in front of the toilet. At first Jaune thought the boy was sick, but he looked fine. He was just flushing the toilet.

Stepping into the doorframe, Jaune spoke up. "Hey, Oscar. What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, Jaune." Oscar shook his head. "Your goldfish died. I forgot to feed him, and I had to flush him." The farm boy explained apologetically.

Jaune exhaled and shook his head. "I don't have a goldfish. I have a dog."

Oscar stares at the older boy.

Jaune's smile falls from his face. His eyes go to the toilet and he sees… a blue collar sitting on the seat.

Jaune looks at Oscar in disbelief, his expression begging for Oscar to say he's joking. But the younger boy simply lets a few tears from his eyes.

"Oscar, where's my dog?" Oscar closes his eyes and looks away, as the older boy he sees as a brother gets emotional. "Oscar, there's no way…"

"I-I'm so sorry."

Jaune recoils, looking down the halls and exhaling sharply. He tries to keep himself together.

"I… I'm so sorry…!" Oscar cries out.

"Jasper!?" Jaune calls out down the hall before he rounds on Oscar. "Where's my dog, Oscar!?"

"I don't know what I was thinking…!" Oscar admits, tears pouring out. "I thought he was a goldfish."

"How, Oscar!? How does someone mix that up?"

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

Jaune lets his tears flow, his head resting against the doorframe. "Where's my dog…?" He cries out quietly, hoping it's all a bad dream.

"I didn't- Oh Gods!" Oscar accidentally knocks the collar into the toilet, and he starts trying to grab it out.



"Oh, hey Oscar. What's up?" Jaune asks the younger boy. It's been… a tough few weeks since they lost Jasper. But the group was tough and could handle it.

Oscar looks back and waves to Jaune. "Hey. I let your turtle go for a swim out back in the salt water canal."

Jaune chuckles. "Oh, because he's not a sea turtle?" He asks, not seeing Oscar shoot him a look. "Wuh oh, better go get him!" Jaune plays along.

Jaune soon stops laughing when he sees the emotionless and empty expression Oscar had on.

"It's a joke, right? You're joking."

Oscar closes his eyes, accepting his fate.

"Because he's a freshwater turtle that can't swim in a salt water canal, right Oscar?" Jaune pushes, breaking Oscar's mask and seeing his start to cry. "That's the joke, right!?"

Oscar tries to hold back, but he sees the necklace that Jaune was wearing, with a little wooden turtle on it. "Oh, Gods."

"Oscar, where's my turtle?"

"I'm so sorry-"

"Oscar, he lived in a water tank that was crystal-clear, how could you-"

Oscar sobbed loudly. "I though he wanted to go for a swim."

"What does that even mean?" Jaune growled. "He's a turtle, he swims, he lives in a water tank."

Oscar wiped away his tears. "Then why'd he want out of the water, huh?"

Jaune glanced out the window and gestured towards it. "The canal!?" Oscar refused to look Jaune in the eyes. "Oscar, please don't tell me you forced him into the water."

Slowly Oscar raised his arm, his hand holding nothing, and he dropped his hand.

Jaune's eyes went wide and he almost stumbled backwards. "...Oscar?" Oscar finally looked at the Arc again. "What was that?"

"Oh Gods forgive me, please." He wailed.

"Oscar, you did not throw him further after he fought for his life, right!?" Jaune's voice promised pain.

"I'm so sorry-"



"Hey, Oscar. What are you up to?" Jaune Arc asks as he finds Oscar vacuuming.

After the incidents with the dog and the turtle… It's been hard on the Arc. But luckily for him, his friends got together and got Jaune another pet. At this point, after losing Pyrrha, getting Weiss stabbed and almost losing her, and all around being useless compared to his friends… Jaune Arc really needed a pet to keep him sane.

Oscar reaches up and turns off the vacuum. "Oh. I'm just vacuuming out the hamster's cage after you took him out."

Jaune smiles, glad that Oscar has found something to distract himself. "I didn't take him out." Someone else must have done it.

Oscar turns to the Arc, fear in his eyes. "What?"

The Arc shrugged, a good natured grin ln his face. "I was actually coming here to say 'good morning' to him. Where'd you put him?" The blonde teen looks around the room for some smaller cage or something that could hold a hamster.

Then his gaze met Oscar's, and his good mood fell away instantly. Oscar grits his teeth and furrows his brow, trying to not cry. Jaune sighed. "Oscar, where's my hamster?"

"I'm so sorry."

Jaune stomped into the room. "There's no way, Oscar." He angrily stabbed a finger at the younger boy.

"Oh Gods, what have I done?" The Pine looks down at the hamster pen in front of him.

"OSCAR!"

Oscar startles and cries. "I thought you took him out. I did, I swear."

Jaune's hands are trembling and he wipes away sweat, his eyes becoming bloodshot. "How could you have not seen him in the cage!?"

Oscar glances down at the pen. "You know what, honestly, I didn't check." Oscar Pine admits freely, nodding his head. He realized he fucked up. Jaune sobbed. "And to level with you, I should've. I'm sorry."

"Oh Gods!" Jaune cries out in emotional pain.

"Please forgive me!" Oscar reaches out and turns the vacuum back on. "Here, I'll keep cleaning!"

"No, stop!"



Jaune saw Oacar sat on the couch reading from his Scroll. "Hey man, what are you up to?"

Oscar glanced up at him then pointed to an empty birdcage. "Oh yeah, I saw your bird looking kind of lonely so I let him out of his cage so he could play with the cat."

Jaune's smile became wooden. "What."

Oscar nodded. "Yeah, your cat was wanting to play with him, so I let him play."

Jaune put a hand up and swallowed a lump in his throat. "Oscar, what did the cat do that made you think he wanted to play with the bird?"

Oscar scoffed. "He was scratching at the cage and I-" Oscar's smile fell away as he came to a horrible realization.

Jaune shut his eyes, hoping that he'll open them and everything will be fine.

"Oh Gods, I'm so sorry." Oscar apologized as he teared up.

"Oscar, why would a bird want to play with a cat or vice-versa!?"

Oscar shook his head and shrugged as he cried. "I don't know, I just thought-"

"Have you ever watched TV? They- They teach you this- like, when you're- when you're a child!"

Oscar dropped his head into his hands. "Oh Gods, I'm so sorry. Gods, please forgive me."

Jaune gestured roughly in the direction of the empty cage. "Where's my bird, Oscar!?"

Oscar Pine looked down at the floor and wailed louder. "Oh, Gods!"

Jaune followed the boy's gaze and saw a pile of bloodied feathers on the floor. He rounded on Oscar fast enough that anyone without aura would have whiplash. "You need to stay away from my animals, Oscar."

Oscar agreed. "And you know what, I think I forgot the feed the cat as well so it probably led to like… I'm so sorry."

"Oscar, you're psychotic! It's like you do it on purpose." Jaune accused the young boy.

"I'm so sorry!"



Oscar watched the man who'd become like a father/brother figure to him over these months walk into the kitchen. They'd since left Mistral and have stopped in Argus to figure out how to get into Atlas. While here, Jaune's sister Saphron and her wife Terra, have let them stay on her house.

"Hey Oscar. What've you been up to?" Jaune asked the boy, a wide smile on his face. It's been a while since Oscar's seen that.

But after Saphron heard about Jaune's suffering she went out and got him a dog. And the Arc scion has been completely smitten with the dog. Oscar and everyone else have hardly seen him without the dog since he got him.

Oscar grinned. "You're going to love what I did to make your dog take his medicine."

Arc chuckled. "What's that?"

"Okay, so I grabbed one of these brownies, right?" Oscar explained as he picked up one of the treats that Saphron and Terra had made the night before. "And I put the medicine, the tablet, inside the chocolate, and I-"

"Those are chocolate, aren't they?" Jaune pointed to the sweets that Jaune hasn't tried yet.

Oscar took a bite of his brownie. "Yeah and so I put the chocolate next to his dog dish-"

Jaune interrupted Oscar with a wide smile. "You totally get that you're not supposed to feed chocolate to dogs, right?"

Oscar tilted his head, an unspoken question in his expression.

Jaune's breath caught in his throat. "B-Because feeding chocolate to a dog would be the most idiotic, abusive thing you can do to one."

Oscar felt sweat fall down his face. "Chocolate is poisonous to dogs?"

Jaune's face started to go red, and his veins visibly bulged. But still he attempted, and partly failed, to remain calm. "Yeah and I know you understand that because only a moron would not get that. Right, Oscar?"

Oscar's brows furrowed and he sobbed.

"Oscar."

"I'm so sorry."

"Oscar, where's the brownie- Where's my dog?" Jaune gripped the kitchen countertop hard enough to pulverize it.

"I didn't know any better!" Oscar said, telling the truth. Ozpin wouldn't tell him, no matter how many times he asked.

"Oscar, children know not to feed chocolate to dogs!"

"Oh Gods, I'm so sorry!" Oscar lifted his brownie to take a bite and comfort eat.

Jaune lost his temper and slapped the 14 year old boy and knocked him to the floor. "I don't want an apology! I WANT MY DOG!"

Oscar pulled himself onto his knees. "I thought he would like it! Please forgive me!"

Jaune reached over to one of the windowsills and picked up two photos. He angrily held them out to Oscar. The two photos were of his old dog, the one Oscar flushed down the toilet, and now the one Oscar poisoned. "This is the second dog you've killed, Oscar!"

"Oh Gods!"

"You look at them!" Jaune roared loud enough to wake the neighbourhood, tears falling from his eyes and spittle flying from his mouth.

"I am!" Oscar wailed back. "I'm sorry! I just wanted to make you proud!"



After stealing an airship they had managed to get to Atlas and warn General Ironwood about the coming threat. Ruby had attempted to lie and obscure the fact that Salem was immortal, but… But after all the shit Jaune's been through, he really didn't think lying was right. It would be hypocritical.

So he revealed the truth. General Ironwood took it to heart and started formulating a plan to deal with Salem without trying to kill her. It should be possible to incapacitate her. Use the Relic of Creation to send her somewhere else? Somewhere far from Remnant?

Still, that was General Ironwood and Dr Polendina's job to figure out.

Jaune Arc watched his friend Oscar Pines walk into the dormroom that James Ironwood was kind enough to let team JNPR stay in. Across the hall from the one team RWBY was staying in, of course.

For some reason Oscar had on a beanie, a mask and sunglasses. Oscar was used to a more temperate environment, so it made sense he wanted to be warm. He also had a large and heavy bag slung over his shoulder. "Oscar, welcome home. Where have you been?" Jaune questioned.

"Oh, I went to the bank to get the lien I owed you for getting me that new gun." Oscar shrugged. He pulled down the mask and took off his sunglasses.

"I thought you said you didn't have the lien?" Jaune quirked an eyebrow.

"Well, I don't." Oscar admitted before lifting up the bag. "But I politely asked them to put some money in the bag." Jaune glanced down at the bag. "They were more than willing to. Very reasonable people." Oscar smiled, innocence in his eyes.

Jaune lifted his hand and pointed at the bag. "You asked a bank clerk to put lien that isn't yours into that bag while wearing a beanie, a mask and sunglasses?"

Oscar glanced up at the ceiling before nodding, a happy grin on his face. "Yes."

"Completely… Hiding your identity…" Jaune pointed out, sweat pouring down his face.

"Yes, well when you put it like-" Oscar dropped the bag and gasped. His hands clutched his head and his expression twisted into one of horror.

Jaune closed his eyes and sighed.

Oscar stared at the ground. "Oh man."

"Oscar…"

"Oh Gods, what have I done?" Oscar burst into tears.

"There's no-" Jaune very quickly stopped that sentence. "This is just a prank, this is just a prank, right Oscar?"

Oscar stared at the Arc male in silence.

"RIGHT!?" Jaune shouted. "Oscar, are- are there any details you left out?"

Jaune looked over Oscar for something, anything… and saw his own Scroll sticking out of a pocket on Oscar's jacket. Oscar scrambled to push it further in and hide it, but it was too late. "Oscar, you did not use my Scroll-" Red and blue lights started shining through the window, followed closely by police sirens. "Oh my Gods… Oh my Gods!"

"Oh my-" Oscar shuddered in fear. "I really messed up this time, didn't I?"

"Oscar, you need to- I- I can't take the fall for this." Jaune shook his head, gesticulating wildly. "How much lien did you take?"

Oscar sobbed. "I never told them to stop…"

Jaune barked out a laugh, his mouth twitching into an open-mouthed smile as the sheer absurdity of the situation sunk in. "I'm living with a psychopath!"

"Oh Gods, please help me!"

The Arc heir refused. "I can't help you out of this one when YOU ROBBED A BANK!!!"

"I didn't mean to, I'm sorry!"



After the whole bank robbery got calmed down after Jaune and Oscar had a long, long chat with General Ironwood…

Things got better. A lot better. It's been a couple months with no incidents. Jaune was starting to relax, and to help him, the rebuilt Penny Polendina had gotten Jaune a tank of fish. She got them for him to care for, to help him relax and take his mind off all the horrible shit they'd been through.

Jaune opened the door to the apartment he and the rest of team JNPR (now officially including Oscar Pines) had gotten, seeing as they were official Huntsmen and Huntresses now. Jaune yawned loudly, having done plenty of work around Mantle that day. Having to fight off a dozen thirsty MILFs was more daunting than any Grimm fight he'd been in.

Jaune sniffed the air. "Is someone cooking?" He wandered over to the kitchen to see his buddy Oscar with a pan on the stove. "Hey, Oscar." He greeted him before glancing at what was in the pan. "Oh, are you cooking fish sticks?" Jaune opened the fridge to get himself something.

"Hey." Oscar returned his greeting. "I wanted to make a nice home cooked meal for us." Jaune nodded, having given Oscar some cooking lessons a couple weeks before.

Jaune looked down into the fridge and furrowed his brow.

"It wasn't easy prepping these. I'm glad you recommended them, though." Oscar chatted as Jaune stared into the fridge. "It just doesn't seem like you to…"

Oscar trailed off as Jaune picked up a box and stared at it in confusion. It was an unopened box of fish sticks. "The fish sticks aren't even open…" Jaune turned to his pal for answers.

Oscar glanced back at the pan. "Fish sticks?"

"What- What did you use? What's in there?" Jaune noted that Oscar looked shocked and afraid. His pal opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

Jaune's heart thumped loudly in his chest as adrenaline began getting pumped through his system. "Oscar?"

"I thought you meant…" Oscar turned away from the stove and looked into the living room.

Jaune shook his head, hoping to the Brother Gods and all other Gods that might exist that Oscar didn't… But in the living room, all Arc could see was an empty fish tank.

He started hyperventilating. The fish that Penny… That his new girlfriend had bought him…!?

"I didn't know." Oscar pleaded. "I didn't know!" Jaune ignored him and wandered over to the empty tank. "Oh Gods…" Arc stared into the motionless water, his head too full of thoughts to actually think anything. "I didn't- I didn't know! I swear, I didn't know!"

Jaune worked his jaw, grinding his teeth as he glanced around the room. Still, Oscar begged: "I- We- We can recover from this. We can recover from this."

Jaune turned to glare at Oscar. "Oscar, where are my fish? Where are the fish Penny gave me?"

"I can- I can buy you new ones. I didn't know-"

"Didn't know what, OSCAR!? That you don't cook your partner's pet FISH!?" Jaune Arc screamed, causing a car alarm to go off across the street.

Oscar nodded, tears pouring onto the floor. "In retrospect, I should have thought about that." The young boy admitted. "I thought you said to-"

"Why on Remnant would I recommend cooking the fish that I TAKE CARE OF!?" Yet another car alarm was set off as June screamed and roared.

"Oh Gods, please forgive me…" Oscar begged as he lifted up the succulent meat he had cooked and took a bite.

"ARE YOU EATING THEM!?"

"I'M SORRY, I'M NERVOUS-"
 
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-In a change of pace, Jaune discovers a secret of Pyrrha's.



Pyrrha: "Are you going to blackmail me for this knowledge, Jaune?"



Jaune: "What?! No, of course not! I would never take advantage of you, Pyrrha!"



Pyrrha: pouts "...Not even a little?"

I'm starting to wonder if Pyrrha is related to a certain blonde on Aqua Arc's team.

Would be hilarious if they complained to each other of their team leaders not taking advantage of them.
 
In the wake of the Faunus Revolution, the Valean Defense Force was slowly dissolved as the Atlasian military took up most peacekeeping duties across Remnant. However, it was easy to see that even Atlas' powerful military could not cover everything. Especially with the continuing, extensive efforts to expand out into the Valean wilderness and frontier.

As a result, many former Valean Defense Force soldiers were reformed into the Valean Rangers. The Rangers had existed in some form or another across Remnant, but this was the first federal-level organization of a police and paramilitary force. Valean Rangers were stationed across Vale, with Ranger bases and stations placed along trade routes, railroads, and roads expanding out into the frontier settlement zones. They were also put in as law enforcement at several establish cities and provinces for crimes that took place across provincial lines.
When I saw this i thought you meant something like the power rangers, after reading the second paragraph i realize it describe the us marshals and now i ask you: why not both?

The Goblin:

The Goblin is a three foot tall bipedal humanoid Grimm. Relatively unarmored, barring the ever-present masks. Armed with sharp teeth and claws, with nothing else. Overall, an extremely weak Grimm. What makes them so dangerous is that they are surprisingly intelligent for their size and age. Even young Goblins can plan ambushes and traps, and work together with other Goblins.
And now we just need a huntsmen that goes by the name/title Goblin Slayer whose teammate contains a lizard faunus, a dwarf, a blond who may or may not be related to the Arcs and something to replace the elf, maybe a pointy ears faunus. -_-

In Oobleck's class...

Oobleck: "As a Huntsman, while you belong to an apolitical system across all four kingdoms, politics is nevertheless a variable you will have to deal with at some point! Many prominent politicians were former Huntsmen or Huntresses, while others have a very negative view of us! You must be aware of the political situation as best you can! To ease you into this topic, we will be watching notable moments from the Valean Council minutes from the last session! Please make notes on anything that catches your interest!"

Yang: "Aw man... This is gonna suuuck..."

Weiss: "Pay attention! This is vitally important!"

Jaune: *sigh* "I hate to say it but she's right. My mom talked about politics at home all the time because of her job. It is important."

Yang: "So, can I bum some notes off you, Ladykiller?"

Nora: "Hey! His team gets bumming rights first!"

Weiss: "Shush! It's starting!"

The screen shows the Valean Council chambers... And several politicians are fighting furiously.

Weiss: "... I... Wha...?"

Pyrrha: "Is it the wrong channel?"

Oobleck: 'It is not! This is a brawl that broke out over Bill 204.9, over tariffs and the trading Treaty with Menagerie! As you can see, Councilman Winchester is grappling with Councilman Uzi over work permit limits for foreign nationals-OH! A RIGHT HOOK! A LEFT HOOK! AND-CAN IT BE? WINCHESTER'S GOT HIM IN A HOLD AND-YES! PILEDRIVER! PILEDRIVVVER!"

Cardin: "GO DAD!"

Councilman Winchester piledrives Uzi right through a wooden table. Uzi then gets up when Winchester's back is turned, and tackles him from behind right through another desk.

Cardin: "Oh, what?! BOO!"

Oobleck: "Yes, the Party Whip had to get involved for that one!"

Weiss: *staring in horror* "This is Valean politics?!"

Jaune: "Well they outlawed actual weapons in chambers but yeah, pretty much."

Yang: *grins* "I have a new career goal."
didn't we already do this snippet before?

Jaune Arc stepped into the home he and his friends were currently sharing in Mistral.

As he wandered past the bathroom he stopped. He could see Oscar kneeling in front of the toilet. At first Jaune thought the boy was sick, but he looked fine. He was just flushing the toilet.

Stepping into the doorframe, Jaune spoke up. "Hey, Oscar. What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, Jaune." Oscar shook his head. "Your goldfish died. I forgot to feed him, and I had to flush him." The farm boy explained apologetically.

Jaune exhaled and shook his head. "I don't have a goldfish. I have a dog."

Oscar stares at the older boy.

Jaune's smile falls from his face. His eyes go to the toilet and he sees… a blue collar sitting on the seat.

Jaune looks at Oscar in disbelief, his expression begging for Oscar to say he's joking. But the younger boy simply lets a few tears from his eyes.

"Oscar, where's my dog?" Oscar closes his eyes and looks away, as the older boy he sees as a brother gets emotional. "Oscar, there's no way…"

"I-I'm so sorry."

Jaune recoils, looking down the halls and exhaling sharply. He tries to keep himself together.

"I… I'm so sorry…!" Oscar cries out.

"Jasper!?" Jaune calls out down the hall before he rounds on Oscar. "Where's my dog, Oscar!?"

"I don't know what I was thinking…!" Oscar admits, tears pouring out. "I thought he was a goldfish."

"How, Oscar!? How does someone mix that up?"

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

Jaune lets his tears flow, his head resting against the doorframe. "Where's my dog…?" He cries out quietly, hoping it's all a bad dream.

"I didn't- Oh Gods!" Oscar accidentally knocks the collar into the toilet, and he starts trying to grab it out.
now hear me out here, what if we just kill oscar after he does this? maybe even with the same toilet?

now i have few ideas for a snippet i need opinions on, or you know you guys could write it:
- an OC team based of this, i would have posted the picture, but for some reason it's not working.
- Jaune is basely a househusband and needs pyrrha to teach him how to fight, now what if pyrrha know nothing about household duties and need jaune's help to learn it. maybe she want to make something for her mother/father/family-friend as a gift and nearly burns down the kitchen trying to do it when jaune find her and offer's to help teach her how to do it.
- since jaune's parents won't let him become a huntsmen he runs away and becomes a bandit instead. and he's surprisingly good at.
- jaune listens to his parents and doesn't become a huntsmen. some time afterwards a grimm kills him because they live on a deathworld. what would his family and friends reaction be?


I seen a lot of Huntsman Jaune but what would happen if he didn't become a Huntsman? Like, would he become a Farmer? A Doctor? A Merchant?

35cbb9104e7fe8da88dee1e3d1dd12b7ab65d57f_hq.jpg



tumblr_inline_nu06iaMhMA1r1tlql_640.png
i see no merchant here. you lied to me!

The former symbol of valean royalty rather than being a crown was a championship belt
makes sense
 
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All Star Jaune Arc
....what if Jaune got all star Superman'd?


*Jaune in the infirmary oddly talking to goodwitch and not the nurse*

Goodwitch: Mr.Arc I'm not sure how to approach this subject...

Jaune: what my semblance? What's so hard about super strength.

Goodwitch: That is the problem Mr.Arc. that ISN'T your semblance.

Jaune: huh?

Goodwitch: Mr.Arc you unlocked this super strength during a mission as soon as your aura came back after being broken and as your teammate out it in her report "being beaten like a redheaded stepchild"?

Jaune: thanks Nora, anyway yeah. So?

Goodwitch: Mr Arc when you joined beacon academy we gained access to your medical records so we know about your prior health issues...

Jaune: but I'm better now!

Goodwitch: sometimes when someone with a formerly weak or sickly body has their aura broken then suffers a severe beating directly after it can cause a sort of....shock. to the soul. You remember that weakness and completely reject any chance of ever returning to it. So your aura compensates and strengthens you more than usual.

Jaune: that doesn't exactly sound like a bad thing...

Goodwitch: the problem is your strength is going to grow faster than your durability or ability to heal, and with your reserves it will happen quite rapidly.

Jaune: so can't we just break my aura or something?

Goodwitch: I'm afraid that even if we did the effect would just reassert itself the next time it reactivates. I'm sorry Mr.Arc. you are dying.

Jaune: ....How long?

Goodwitch: at best? Maybe til the end of the year.

Jaune: I think I'd like to go back to my room miss goodwitch.

Goodwitch: of course Mr.Arc....and I'm sorry.
 
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I know the bit about Valean politics was a riff on WWE and probably Idiocracy, but for some reason when I read it all I can think of is Clanners from Battletech.

-------
Ozpin, Loremaster of Vale: The vote stands at 9 yaes, 5 nays, and 3 abstentions. The motion carries.

Winchester: I demand a Trial of Refusal. This so called bill is a farce and I will not permit it to pass into law. Who would meet me in the circle of equals?

Councilman: As the sponsor of the bill I will meet you in the circle of equals. You will not be allowed to obstruct the will of this council. I will make your death quick Winchester.

*Both men rise and make their way to the center of the room as Ozpin's aide draws a large circle on the floor with a marker.*

Ozpin: In this solemn trial let no one interfere. The fight will continue until one is dead or has been forced out of the circle. Seyla!

Everyone in the Hall: Seyla!

Queue the two councilmen in the circle beating the shit out of each other until Winchester gets the upper hand and crushes his opponents windpipe leaving him gasping and dying on the ground

Winchester: Fellow Councilman the vote has been invalidated. The proposed bill will not be ratified and I have killed the man who sponsored it. Please let this be a lesson to the rest of you that I will not tolerate legislation which would harm our great nation.
-------

Much less humorous of course, but it's where my mind went.
 
I know the bit about Valean politics was a riff on WWE and probably Idiocracy, but for some reason when I read it all I can think of is Clanners from Battletech.

-------
Ozpin, Loremaster of Vale: The vote stands at 9 yaes, 5 nays, and 3 abstentions. The motion carries.

Winchester: I demand a Trial of Refusal. This so called bill is a farce and I will not permit it to pass into law. Who would meet me in the circle of equals?

Councilman: As the sponsor of the bill I will meet you in the circle of equals. You will not be allowed to obstruct the will of this council. I will make your death quick Winchester.

*Both men rise and make their way to the center of the room as Ozpin's aide draws a large circle on the floor with a marker.*

Ozpin: In this solemn trial let no one interfere. The fight will continue until one is dead or has been forced out of the circle. Seyla!

Everyone in the Hall: Seyla!

Queue the two councilmen in the circle beating the shit out of each other until Winchester gets the upper hand and crushes his opponents windpipe leaving him gasping and dying on the ground

Winchester: Fellow Councilman the vote has been invalidated. The proposed bill will not be ratified and I have killed the man who sponsored it. Please let this be a lesson to the rest of you that I will not tolerate legislation which would harm our great nation.
-------

Much less humorous of course, but it's where my mind went.
Hit em with the nick cage smack of God.

View: https://youtu.be/TZexfGN9rAE?si=WsYXfQNVU4YrgZrF
 
Cowboys of Remnant: Missing the Mark
- - -

Pyrrha lined up Milo with the targets downrange. As had been drilled into her from a young age, she checked her safety, focused down the sites, let out a breath, and-

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Six rounds went right through the center of the target, a holographic Grimm Beowulf. Each trajectory was lit up in red, making the Beowulf look like it had been pierced by six red arrows. She smiled softly and nodded mentally.

All on target, all perfect.

She glanced over at Jaune in the lane next to hers. He held his revolver with practiced ease, with both hands around the grip, the thumbs locked together. His blue eyes locked onto his holographic Grimm, and he pulled the trigger.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Pyrrha's smile grew a bit as she tracked the trajectories of the rounds.

"That's very good, Jaune," Pyrrha complimented him. Jaune smiled and shrugged.

"Shucks Miss Nikos. Ain't nothing but a lot of practice," he said modestly.

"I am a bit curious," Pyrrha said, "In combat you usually shoot one handed. And then only with one gun."

Jaune spun his revolver around on his finger, before he unlocked the cylinder and swiftly reloaded.

"How Mister Duke taught me," he explained, "One handed at close range? I've got enough precision to handle that. Longer range, I'll use my rifle or one gun with both hands. And in a big melee where a hit is guaranteed? Both guns akimbo."

He locked on with his revolver, and fired six more rounds. Again, his aim was unerring. Almost as good as hers.

"Ain't no reason to waste ammo unless you're right in the thick of it," he explained.

"Is that why your melee skills are a bit, um... Below average?" Pyrrha asked delicately. Jaune winced, and slowly nodded.

"Yes Miss Nikos. Truth be told, I'm not much with my sword," he admitted, "It's embarrassing, but I've mostly used it to clear brush. Usually we shot down any threats before they get that close, since most of the hands didn't have Aura unlocked."

Pyrrha slowly nodded, as Jaune fired off another volley of rounds with pinpoint accuracy.

"Being a Hunter can often require melee combat," Pyrrha said gently, "Would you like me to train you?"

Jaune looked back at his partner and smiled broadly.

"R-Really? You'd do that for me?"

"Well, you are my partner," Pyrrha said with a gentle smile, "Shouldn't I help you where you're lacking?"

"Er, well, I-I'd appreciate that," Jaune said earnestly, "But um... I ain't sure what you'd be getting out of it, Miss Nikos. I mean I'm-"

"My partner and team leader," Pyrrha said firmly, reaching out to rest her hand on his shoulder. She fought a blush. "You... You bring me a lot more than you think, Jaune."

Jaune slowly nodded.

"If you think I'm worth the trouble, then, yes, thank you Miss Nikos," he said gratefully.

"My pleasure," Pyrrha said with a warm smile.

Inwardly, she pumped her fists.

Yes!

Now... For the next part of her plan!

- - -

She brought Jaune out to a nice grassy clearing overlooking the valley of the Emerald Forest. She shifted Milo into sword mode, and waited for Jaune to draw Crocea Mors.

"The basics of swordplay are fairly simple," Pyrrha began her lecture, as the birds sang overhead and wildflowers waved in the light breeze, "Footwork is paramount. You get the most out of your sword by knowing just how much strength to put into movement, and you control that with every aspect of your body. Your wrists, hips, and legs help here the most."

Jaune nodded, his face completely serious. Pyrrha held up Milo in her usual stance.

"Try to copy my stance," Pyrrha ordered. Jaune nodded, and did so. Pyrrha then walked over and behind him. She scrutinized his form... Very, very carefully.

"Miss Nikos?" Jaune asked, "Something wrong?"

"Ah? Oh! N-Nothing!" Pyrrha said quickly. "Um... Well..."

She reached out and pressed on his hips with her hands. Her face burned bright red.

"You'll want to, um... Be looser here," she murmured.

"S-Sure, Miss Nikos," Jaune confirmed. She let her hands linger for a moment.

"Um, Miss Nikos?"

"O-OH! Y-Yes!" Pyrrha laughed nervously. "S-Sorry! Okay... Shoulders... Arms... Your grip..."

Her hands drifted over his upper body and she tried as hard as possible to stay professional. She was being his mentor! She shouldn't-Shouldn't be crass and perverted!

She pulled away, bright red, and cleared her throat.

"Um, th-that's good!" She said quickly.

"Er, um, y-yes Miss," Jaune confirmed.

Pyrrha composed herself, as she had for a thousand photoshoots. She walked in front of Jaune and resumed her own combat stance.

"All right. I want you to watch my movements, and then copy."

She went through a simple combo, thrust, thrust, feint, and then low slash. She watched Jaune go through the movements, and nodded.

"Good. Now, you do it against me and I'll show you how to defend."

Jaune nodded, resumed his stance. Pyrrha assumed her own.

"Go!"

Jaune struck through the combo. Pyrrha parried the first two hits, moved in response to the feint, then deflected the slash at her legs and carried through to put the tip of Milo right at Jaune's throat. He gulped, and nodded with new respect in his eyes.

"W-Wow... That's mighty impressive, Miss Nikos."

"Oh, um, just lots of practice," Pyrrha said with a blush. Sincere praise like that was rare. She smiled warmly.

"Let's continue!"

They went back and forth, slowly on some movements that Jaune struggled with, and faster on those he picked up almost immediately.

After about two hours, she decided they would call it quits. Jaune shook his head, panting for breath.

"I can go further-"

"Yes, you can" Pyrrha agreed. "But we're not stamina training, we're training technique. That requires more frequent breaks."

Jaune slowly nodded. He pulled out his canteen from his belt, and took a long drink. Pyrrha herself walked to a log and procured her own water bottle, which she drank from.

"So, how am I doing?" Jaune asked, after he'd quenched his thist. Pyrrha lowered her water bottle with a smile.

"Good," she said, "And I don't mean that just to be polite. You're not very refined, but I think you could go very far with a sword!"

Jaune nodded with a smile.

"Well... Thank you kindly, Miss Nikos," he said, "I mean... My Pa uses a sword. My grandpa, my great-grandpa and great-grandma, all used swords. It's nice to know I could do well with them, too."

Pyrrha nodded with a concerned smile.

"Why didn't you train with your father in swords?" She asked. Jaune sighed.

"I... I mean..." He shrugged. "Guess I just wanted to blaze my own trail, ya know?"

"Is that why you became a cowboy?" Pyrrha further probed. Honestly, she was incredibly curious about Jaune. He only volunteered a little of his past, mostly what he'd done on cattle drives. Much of his life before then? He glossed over.

"Partially," Jaune admitted, "My ma and pa... Well... They worry, ya know? I was... Most of my childhood, I wasn't in the best of health."

At Pyrrha's look of intense concern, he smiled and waved a hand.

"I'm fine now. Just... When your ma is a doctor, and you've spent a lot of time in a hospital bed or your room, well... She tends to be overprotective. My pa followed her lead, even though he was fine with me bein' a Hunter or anything else. But ya know... You can't really fight what was wrong with me with a sword."

"Oh, Jaune," Pyrrha murmured softly. She walked up to him and put a comforting hand on his forearm. He smiled gently back.

"Mister Duke and Pa managed to convince Ma to let me go. To let me try my hand at something hard. I came to like it. Enough that I even considered doing it as my career."

"But...?" Pyrrha prompted.

Jaune shrugged, and smiled shyly.

"Mister Duke said no man should give up on his dreams. Not without a fight for them, anyway."

Pyrrha smiled, and nodded slowly.

"I see... I-I'm glad you decided to fight for them."

"Me too, Miss Nikos," Jaune said.

Pyrrha sighed.

"You don't have to call me that. Really," she stated. Jaune blinked.

"Does it annoy you?"

"I mean... W-We're friends, right?" Pyrrha asked.

"Sorry," Jaune said, "Just... You're a bit hard to read, Miss Nik-Er, Pyrrha."

Pyrrha blinked rapidly.

"I-I am?"

"Yes miss," Jaune confirmed with a nod, "Sometimes I ain't sure if you're being honest, or if you're just bein' polite. I mean, you've fought alongside me so I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt in most things, but uh... You can be a bit perplexing."

He flushed.

"I mean, most girls are, which is fine! If you wanna be! Just..." He shrugged, and pulled his hat brim down, "I uh... It's a little hard on me, miss. No disrespect meant."

"I... I see," Pyrrha murmured. Hiding her emotions had just become second nature to her. In public, with her mother, with her agent... She had come to Beacon because she wanted to be herself. Yet... She was still locked into this... This form.

"In... In that case, Jaune," Pyrrha stuttered, "Um... I don't like it when you call me Miss Nikos. It uh... It..."

Jaune stared into her eyes.

"Annoys you, miss?"

Pyrrha nodded.

"It does... It... It really makes me unhappy. I just... I want to be Pyrrha to you. That's... That's all. I-I want to be your Pyrrha."

Her cheeks again went bright red, and she looked down at her hands.

Oh no that's too much! Too forward! I-I can't just... No! Calm down, Pyrrha! Calm down! You need to-!

She felt him take hold of her chin. He lifted her eyes to his. In the late afternoon sun with the shadow cast by his hat, he looked so... Dashing.

"My Pyrrha then," he said with a smile, "That's what you'll be to me. Always."

Pyrrha turned bright red, trembled... And then fainted dead away with a smile on her face.

"AH! PYRRHA! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?! PYRRHA?!"

And a panicking Jaune left to hold her in her arms.

- - -
 
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I have an idea for a shorts series someone should do.

It can be surmised that at least part of the reason why Salem is so deadset and unshaking on making mankind suffer, aside from general spite, for thousands of years is that her psyche was affected by being submerged in the Pool of Destruction.

This idea is not meant to make the atrocities she has committed somehow less her fault or give her an excuse, especially since she didn't go all murderous omnicide right after she left the pool, but just to bring up the fact that it's really hard to believe that being submerged in a Divine Pool of the Essence of Destruction itself didn't affect her psyche in any way, but just gave her nifty powers.

Now, here's where my idea comes in.

Somehow, Summer Rose manages to confront Salem before canon and was able to use her Silver Eyes to harm her.

She still died, but managed to leave an important and lasting Impact that Swung things permanently in Good's favor, even if only somewhat.

What did she do?

Summer's Silver Eyes Somewhat Dampened her ability to Control and Manipulate the Grimm...

...And purged the negative effects of the Essence of Destruction from her psyche permanently.

No matter how powerful or long-lived you are your vendettas and anger will eventually be ground away by time.

Now Salem no longer has a literally inhuman hatred of life inflaming her grudges in her subconscious, but it also no longer serves as a bulwark against truly confronting the atrocities she's committed, the ultimate futility of her actions, her role in her children's deaths, etc.

And that's the basic premise.
 
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-In "Kung Pow! Enter the Fist!", we have Wimp Lo, an arrogant idiot of a martial artist student who was intentionally taught wrong as a joke. What would a Huntsman version of this guy be like?
Fun fact, some martial arts schools actually "trained" students they considered unworthy incorrectly on purpose, just like Wimp Lo.

Heck, even the thermometer breaking scene isn't all that weird, as certain forms of Chinese martial arts do go to considerable lengths to toughen up the practitioner's skin (though not usually to the point of breaking a thermometer in their student's hands).

-Cinder as Jaune's childhood feiend. A continuation of that might be fun.
Would Jaune be aware of Cinder's abusive childhood in that scenario?
Because if he knows or not, or if Jaune's parents do, would really change the dynamic and circumstances.

-Yang, Weiss, and Pyrrha try their hands at being more old fashioned feminine to attract Cowboy Jaune's attention.
The girls in saloon dresses is be interesting to imagine, especially when shenanigans happe that force them to fight in them (and getting angry when they get damaged).
I'm imagining their outfits would look a bit like this;
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nadiah-najib-evil-dancer-final.jpg
ae3534be5d3f9f1248e6ed37ab1bbe55.jpg
CDN media
rhonda-fleming_yellow-dress3.png

CDN media
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wild_west_saloon_girls_by_kellylynnmartin_dgg54uc-fullview.jpg
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CDN media

I call this: "Oscar Ruins Jaune's Life"
More like: Oscar, profesionall pet murderer.
(because that's almost everything Oscar seems to be doing)
 
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"Try to copy my stance," Pyrrha ordered. Jaune nodded, and did so. Pyrrha then walked over and behind him. She scrutinized his form... Very, very carefully.



"Miss Nikos?" Jaune asked, "Something wrong?"



"Ah? Oh! N-Nothing!" Pyrrha said quickly. "Um... Well..."

Inner Pyrrha - "This Rump Roast is Grade A, for Arc!"
 
Oscar Ruins Jaune's Life
Oscar: Hey I just want to say, thanks for forgiving me Jaune, but why are we in the forest?
Jaune: looking to give the girls a bouquet of flowers, could you look for the ones you think look best?
Oscar: Yeah sure, but which one do you think they'd like most?
Jaune: Just look at the flowers Oscar, just look at the flowers.
look-at-the-flowers-twd.gif

[Bang]
A shot rang out from that forest, but the world moved on
 
Thinking about the time when people were using Ashe from OW as a template for Weiss
I mean they were both heiress from a rich family, they also have white, platinum blonde hair; each of them have a butler they called on.

Ashe-portrait.png

Ashe_Deadlock_final_concept_art.jpg
 
Cowboys of Remnant: A Simple Picnic
Here I give you a contribution to Cowboy Jaune that wouldn't let me go till I got it down.


Ruby Rose was going to make up for the way this saturday was going.

She planned this picnic as a team bonding exercise and her team all bailed to run into town for SHOPPING.

Not even fun Dust or weapon shops. CLOTHES shopping.

Well waist not and all all. She was gonna share her picnic basket of sandwiches and goodies with Jaune and Orleans. They would appreciate it.

She was dressed out of he usual. Not even her signature red hood. Everything but her one sundress Yang made her buy. It wasn't the worst thing in the world but the white dress with a few roses in outline on it wasn't her favorite thing to walk around in.

She crossed the quad towards the stable where she knew Jaune was with his horse when she paused for a moment. Had Dove just walked into a tree?

"HOWDY JAUNE! Hello Orleans who's the best horse in the world?" Ruby smiled brightly at the steed "Yes you are." Orleans preened at her comment as if to say but of course.

Jaune continuted brushing Orleans not turing around "Howdy Miss Rose. What brings you by?"

"Well the girls all bailed on me but I have this picnic lunch made so do you want to share with me?"

At the mention of food Jaune began to turn around but Orleans started acting fussy and the cowhand kept his focus on her "It sound good but Orleans seems to be feeling moody today."

"Well i got some treats her her too. I have some fresh carrots and apples and some mixed berries." Orleans settled instantly and looked at her dead on as if to say your offering has pleased us. She took the offered treats greedily but gently as Jaune finished brushing her down and he finally turned to directly look at Ruby Rose.

"Thanks for the hellllllp" Jaune stood there for a moment stunned by the sight of the red reaper in a simple sundress and not even carrying her weapon for once just a basket in her hands. In the silence Ruby figitted and brushed some stray hair behind her ear.

Jaune shook his head "Wow. Uh. I hope you didn't get all gussied up for me."

"What this? No, uhhh actualy it's all I had that was... clean. I really need to hit the laundromat tomorrow. I just wanted to share a lunch with the someone and not let it go to waste and everyone ran off."

"Well you look real good Miss Rose. I mean not that you don't normally just not like this. I mean thats not to say you look bad normally just..."

Ruby blinked then blushed " Uh , um, you think I look good, huh?"

Jaune blushed himself "Well yes, NEVER THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T just this look. suits ya, ifin ya get my meaning."

Ruby smile brightened an already bright day "So shall we?

Jaune returned the smile "Yes ma'am, I reckon that sounds might fine right now."

The two walked from to the stable to a near by tree ,the same Dove walked into incidently, spread the blanket and had a simple meal of sandwiches with a some canned drinks and bags of chips.

The two sat contentedly and with some varior small talk and jokes enjoyed thier meal and companionship.

Soon thier meal was done but the two having nothing better to do sat agasint the tree looking at the horizon pointing out shapes inthe clouds side by side but soon Ruby yawned

Jaune "You wanna head back to common room Miss Rose?"

Ruby leaned against his shoulder yawning again "Not really. Too nice out to nap indoors. Perfect day to nap under a tree."

Jaune yawned himself "Well you defiantly ain't wrong about that." Seeing his companion already dozed off he decided to join her and tipped his hat to cover his eyes and joined in napping bliss.
 
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i see no merchant here. you lied to me!

Sorry, I didn't found any fan art for Merchant Jaune.

I did however find Neo selling Ice Cream.
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Jaune as Cafe Owner and Velvet as waitress. Its from the fic Service With A Smile by Coeur Al'Aran.


rwby___jaune_arc_mercenary_fanart__by_papercroft_devd4iq-fullview.jpg

I think this is how Jaune would look if he goes Mercenary or Atlas Shield Soldier.


Jaune.Arc.1024.2087751.webp

Blake read Ninjas of Love and found a samurai character. She wonders how Jaune would look as a Samurai.


bunny_jaune_comic__rwby_ice_queendom__by_seshirukun_df8caei-414w-2x.jpg

Jaune is related to Velvet or hit by a bunny semblance.


rwby_jaune_and_joan_by_nuricombat_danxbq0-414w-2x.jpg

Ever wonder what would happen if Jaune meet her in one of RWBY adventures?


68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f67524e6c535f33516d6444306b413d3d2d3339393539343835332e313462356636646263616233353562363432373235353030373635362e706e67

I did not know there was a Jaune and Neptune ship until today.
 
I don't know man. Ren is looking like he's in a real spicy mood in that pic.

And Weiss looks like she wants Arc Rabbit babies.

To be fair, her wanting Arc Babies is her default state, but still...!

Considering her clothes this is Beacon, meaning this is early Weiss who up till the dance hated Jaune's guts.
 
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Had this pop in my head.

*Goodwitch walks into Ozpins office at night to check in before she goes to her room. She finds him obviously sloshed sitting in front of one of the open windows*

Goodwitch: Sir?

Ozpin: hello glynda.

Goodwitch: sir why don't you come in it's a bit chill outside.

Ozpin: you're always so helpful, you know just what to do.

*Ozpin stumbles over to his chair*

Ozpin: it must be nice.

Goodwitch: what's the matter Ozpin?

Ozpin: I was in a mood I guess. Looking back on past failures, questioning old regrets. And one question hit me hard.

*Ozpin is crying slightly*

Ozpin: I can remember all the names of the huntsmen I've failed, I can remember all the missions that went badly, I can even remember every single conflict I've had with Salem in crystal clarity.

*Ozpin looks glynda dead in the eyes*

Ozpin: so why can't I remember my daughter's faces? When did they go from "my biggest motivation" to "another set of names on a list"?
 

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