[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[Bommel]

Isabel was trained in martial arts from the start but the Aura techniques intrigued her as she thought she could use them for medical purposes. This, along with her Semblance, made her not just a great doctor... But a very formidable hand to hand combatant.

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Isabel's abilities remind me a lot of the Hercules Method from The Strange Talent of Luther Strode (by Image Comics), which was created by Cain.

Practitioners concentrating until they can bring all of their physiological processes under their control, and the protagonist in particular can literally leap tall buildings in a single bound, essentially feel no pain, enhanced senses and perception, superhuman precision. regenerate from bullet wounds in seconds, catch knives and bullets by flexing his muscles, and punch ordinary people/highly trained mercenaries hard enough to reduce them to blood spray and body parts.

They also have "Meat-vision", which lets them "see" the muscles of others by using their enhanced senses, perception and knowledge/intuition about anatomy, that lets them target weaknesses and predit the next actions of non-practitioners.
It also allows them to deduce the exact nature of any injuries and how people were injured or killed after the fact.

Spoiler: Before and After

Spoiler: Some examples (warning, depictions of blood and gore)

It might be interesting to see if Isabel manadged to train Jaune in her version of the method, somehow giving Jaune similar abilities as her without it being a Semblance.

 

[Balorak146]

How the Branwen tribe managed to survive beyond a single generation is something that eludes me.

Thanks for the snippets.

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The only conclusion I can come to is that before Raven took over, they just weren't a big enough deal for anybody to commit the resources needed to deal with them. That, or they just never left enough survivors of their raids for word to get back to anybody important.

Then when Raven returned to them, she came with training on the level of the most elite Hunters and a Semblance that allowed her to transport her marauders FROM anywhere TO anywhere as long as she has an agent at those locations, which naturally would make predicting her, capturing her or assassinating her really damn difficult. As long as they stay in Mistral, which has been sabotaged both by Lionheart and by its own internal corruption for who knows how long, they effectively have free reign.

 

[LordofBones]

Somehow I got Warcraft vibes from this. Arthas? Lich King?

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"Let them come. Crocea Mors hungers."

 

[IvanR1314]

alternately, instead of the Lich King, what if we use the Aura part of the setting, and have more then a implication that not only are there Aura Echoes that help the wielders learn how to use a weapon, but more powerful souls can even transfer into weapons and armor. One such case could be the Ansenstral Arsenal of Arcs. Alliteration aside, that offers LOTS of potential.

Kind of like, what if Ghosts were a real thing in Remnant we had earlier in the Thread.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Some prompts and ideas for the day after Labor Day:

-Cowboys of Remnant prompts:

>Jaune and Blake talk about the burden of taking human and Faunus life. Blake wants to know how Jaune is able to deal with it.

>Nick and Isabel Arc visit, both a bit more frontier-sy in this timeline. They also managed to bring along two more Aura-activated horses: Shadowfax and Epona, Orleans' parents.

>Pyrrha desperately wants to deepen her connect with Jaune. So she turns to her old acting lessons to try and be more Western. Sadly, Weiss tries the same.

>Miguel has become an investor in the Vytal Tournament and thus visits Beacon a bit more often. And he hasn't escaped the notice of several young ladies. How does Jaune keep his friend from dating the wrong sort of gal?

-Ren begins to play his family pipa/transforming sword more. He and Weiss bond over music... Which makes Nora worry that Renny's got a thing for Weiss!

Nora: "Should I have slimmed down so I look like a twelve year old boy?!"

Weiss: "HEY!"

-Adding onto Ren as a musician, he and his long lost fiance Yin Yu jam a bit with her voice and his lute playing. Nora feels a bit left out and worried.

-The Beacon Dance invites some alumni to join in the dance! Including Nick and Isabel Arc, Taiyang, Qrow, Arjun and Saia Sarkaras, and many others! Chaos ensues!

-Since we have Fuujin as a Japan analog, and since Jaune's great-great grandfather is from Fuujin, he can have some relatives who are the Remnant equivalent of Japanese people. So! How do Jaune and his friends react to:

>Cousin Shinji Ikari from Neon Genesis Evangelion.

>Cousin Inoue Orihime from Bleach.

>Cousin Tanjiro and Nezuko Kamado from Demon Slayer.

>Cousin Keitaro Urashima from Love Hina.

-Sun and Weiss are chosen as the leads for a school play, requiring some romantic scenes. Neither are very happy about this, but try their best to deal.

-Jaune helps Ruby and Yang out on the anniversary of Summer's death, cooking them their favorite meals, and just being there for them. Both sisters take a renewed interest in him.

 

[cavalal386]

Ren: "Dishonor upon your family and dishonor upon your cow!"

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No!! Not the cow!!! It's innocent!!!!

Why doesn't anyone want to kill this bandit bitch?

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Because she has tits? From the dawn of time, people have done much stupider things for a pair of good looking tits.

in regards to the Raven snippet, YES YES YES, HUMBLE THE QUEEN OF BANDIT BITCHES!

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Wrong thread, you want to go to the nsfw one for that.

>Cousin Keitaro Urashima from Love Hina.

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Didn't we already established that keitaro was married to shampoo and that they were the grandparents of ruby and yang?

 

[IvanR1314]

No!! Not the cow!!! It's innocent!!!!


Because she has tits? From the dawn of time, people have done much stupider things for a pair of good looking tits.


Wrong thread, you want to go to the nsfw one for that.


Didn't we already established that keitaro was married to shampoo and that they were the grandparents of ruby and yang?

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my comment was strictly BLOODTHIRST! not Horny on Main Bitch Correction. However, give this is Questionable Questing, it stands to reason to think that Horny on Main is default for QQ posters.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

Just a place for my stray RWBY Plot bunnies and ideas to go. - - - “Pyrrha. We need to...

forum.questionablequesting.com

"WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT FOR?!" Ruby demanded angrily. Cardin Winchester, for his part, was doing his level best not to seem intimidated by a group of young ladies.

However, the fact they could collective kick his ass (and looked very intent on doing so) made that difficult. Nevertheless, Mama Winchester didn't raise no pussy.

"I was gonna talk to someone-Not that it's your business!" Cardin growled. Yang's eyes burned red like hot coals, as she slammed her fists together.

"Oh really? Who you gonna talk to with flowers?" Yang asked with a growl.

"Uhhh..."

"No! Not Jaune!" Ruby gasped in horror. Cardin gaped in shock and disbelief.

"WHAT?! NO I-!"

"It's classic really," Blake nodded with a bit of a blush, "He denied his homosexual feelings out of societal pressure, and bullied Jaune instead."

Pyrrha gaped in shock as she blushed. Weiss too had a red face. Blake had a dreamy look on hers, while Yang and Ruby sputtered. Cardin, desperate to salvage this, resorted to a tactic his father had employed in difficult budgetary meetings:

Yelling.

"I AM NOT GAY! THESE ARE NOT FOR JAUNE! THESE ARE FOR VELVET!"

The girls all stared at him. Blake hummed.

"Well, that's a bit disappointing-"

"No it's not!" Weiss insisted. "Clearly, he was bullying her out of denial of his romantic feelings! For a girl who forced Jaune out on a date!"

"I-!" Cardin really did want to protest this. Like HELL did he have romantic feelings for Velvet! Sure, he wanted to make things up to her but romantic feelings?

"Of course!" Blake insisted, soft but sure, as she looked intently at Cardin, "It's a classic tragic story of starcrossed lovers! The girl he could not love, but did anyway! Just like Jomeo and Ruliet!" She sighed softly, "I can work with this."

"So can we," Pyrrha stated with a very scary smile. She grabbed onto Cardin's shoulder with terrifying strength. "How would you like to realize your true love... And keep Velvet away from Jaune Arc?"

"Anything for true love," Yang said with a similarly terrifying smile, grabbing onto Cardin's other shoulder. Weiss and Ruby too gained grins that seemed more like gleaming knives in the setting sun.

"Ohhhhh, I get it!" Ruby giggled. "Absolutely anything for true love!"

"Yes, how fortunate he fell into our hands," Weiss smirked.

Blake was furiously writing in a notebook.

Cardin looked about himself. There was no escape. No way out.

"I uh... Well..."

His politician father had taught him another important lesson, one Cardin realized he'd been too foolish and inexperienced to really grasp until now:

You have to know when to hold 'em, and when to fold 'em.

This was clearly the latter.

He gulped and managed the tiniest hint of bluster, for the sake of his ego if nothing else.

"S-Sure... I would appreciate you helping me with... My romantic problems..."

"Right this way~," Pyrrha said, almost sing-song, as RWBY and Pyrrha led their captive towards the Bullheads.

I will never be jealous of Arc again, Cardin swore to himself, never ever NEVER!

- - -

Jaune wasn't entirely ignorant of how wealthy and luxurious places could be. He'd been to more than a few casinos and Dust rush towns on the Frontier, and even stayed at a five star hotel on a trip down to the Juzan Kingdom.

Of course that had been due to the city losing power thanks to a terrorist attack and Mister Duke leading them all to aid in the defense against the Grimm. The hotel hadn't had power for most of the time they'd been there, but the surroundings were still amazing.

That said, he couldn't keep his jaw closed very long as he entered Minerva's with Velvet. The carpet felt so soft and plush it was like it was made out of the fluffiest hares you could find. The wood paneling was inlaid with gold and silver lines that resembled tree branches. The view out the window let you see the entirety of Vale, lights shining like the stars above as the sun set and cast the night over everything.

Jaune managed to peel his eyes away from everything to focus on the menu. His heart pounded hard in his ears. He slowly looked up at Velvet, who had a similar desperate look in her eyes.

"... I think the wine selection costs more than my dang house," Jaune admitted quietly. Velvet managed a small, nervous giggle.

"S-Same," she squeaked.

The waiter arrived, his perfectly cut mustache so straight it was like it had been cut with a level. His suit was so perfect Jaune wondered if he had a Semblance to make it appear brand new.

"Would the sir and madam enjoy water while making their decision? Perhaps wine?" He asked pleasantly.

Jaune glanced over at Velvet. Velvet winced, but tried.

"Um... What is the cheapest selection you have?" She asked.

The waiter chuckled kindly.

"Fret not, Miss Scarlatina. Miss Adel is well known to me. She would not spend her money on frivolous people. Please, enjoy!"

"Er... Then sir, would you please make some recommendations?" Jaune asked. "My Gallian's a mite rusty."

"Of course Mister Arc," the waiter said with a smile, "Miss Adel sent us a dossier on both of you. I believe you will enjoy your meals. If I may?"

They handed him the menus, and he poured them some spring water. He departed in silence, leaving both to drink the water and stare at the table.

"Er... Um..." Jaune tried.

"Uh, um," Velvet also attempted.

Jaune let out a breath. He smiled at her.

"So... How long you an' Miss Adel been friends?"

Velvet perked up and smiled.

"Oh! Um, we actually met in middle school," she said cheerfully, "Her mom sent her to public school so she wouldn't become, ya know, a primadonna."

Jaune raised an eyebrow. Velvet flushed and shrugged.

"It uh... It mostly worked," she said.

"Nah. She's a force o' nature for sure," Jaune agreed. "I admire her spirit."

"Oh? You uh, you like women like that?" Velvet managed. Jaune coughed.

"Well uh... I like a lot o' kinds of women... N-Not that I'm some dandy!" He insisted, waving his hands, "I-I swear, I ain't... I mean, I had me a girlfriend in Radian but uh, that's the only one! I promise!"

"It-It's okay," Velvet said, waving her hands as well, "Uh, I-I've never even had a boyfriend! So um... Er..."

She sighed and bowed her head.

"I'm really sorry," she mumbled, "I... This isn't how I wanted it to go, exactly."

Jaune shook his head. He reached across the table and squeezed her hand. She looked up and flushed.

"Hey. There... There ain't no expectations on this thing," he said, "I'm just here to have a nice time with a pretty, wonderful lady. One kind enough to thank me for... For helping her."

He smiled and shook his head.

"Not that you had to-"

"I-I really wanted to," Velvet insisted, holding onto his hand tightly. "I mean... I saw a lot of students just look away. Mind their own business. You... You got up and just called Cardin out." She blushed deeply.

"I... I admire that. It's... It's hard for me to be brave like that."

"Really?" Jaune asked. Velvet sighed, her ears drooping.

"Yeah... I-I've had to keep so much... So much inside. My dad's a human, my mom's a Faunus. People... People talk. Humans and Faunus alike."

"Oh, Miss Scarlatina," Jaune breathed quietly, his tone full of sympathy, "I'm sorry."

She beamed.

"But... Well... You came in like a knight in shining armor, and... Well... I-I really liked that."

Jaune worried his lower lip.

"I... I had a talk with Cardin after," he said. Velvet raised her eyebrows. He held up a hand. "Nothin' violent. I just told him to get over himself. We're all here to protect people from the Grimm. Fightin' over who lost who in what war ain't gonna help."

"Oh," Velvet paused, pulling her hand away to worry them in her lap, "Oh... I-I see. He... Lost people in the Revolution?"

"Yeah," Jaune said quietly, "But that ain't no excuse to act that way."

"N-No, of course not," Velvet shook her head, her eyes sad, "Just... My grandfather told me about the war. How people looked at Faunus like monsters out of fear. How some Faunus fought alongside humans. He just... He made it clear it was a lot more complicated than human good, Faunus bad."

"Well, sure," Jaune said with a nod, "Don't mean folks gotta take it from either side though."

"No," Velvet agreed.

Some wine and appetizers arrived. A salad for Velvet and some dark bread and cheese for Jaune. The two ate, while continuing to talk.

Velvet was born in a small bubble town near Vale where a lot of Menagerian ex-pats lived: Faunus who had gone to Menagerie for a good life, but had returned after becoming disillusioned with the All Faunus Kingdom. Her father was an engineer who traveled to Atlas for work while her mom stayed at home with her twelve younger brothers and sisters. Jaune related his own difficulties in a large family in Radian, and the two laughed a bit over their shared experiences.

The main course arrived: A vegetable pasta for Velvet, and a classic prime rib steak with vegetables and potatoes for Jaune. They continued to talk, going from subject to subject.

If Jaune was being honest? Velvet was definitely comfortable to talk to. She was kind, funny, and once she calmed down, very fun. There was a... A camradery there. Someone he'd be happy to be friends with as they both worked to become Hunters.

Dessert rolled around, and after a few drinks of wine and a high class beer, they were both a bit giggly.

"N-No, no! Honest!" Velvet laughed, holding up her Scroll, "See? Total dork!"

Jaune stared at the picture of Velvet in middle school-The Faunus was practically vanishing in an oversized sweater with glasses. He snorted in laughter.

"Wow... You sure transformed, like a butterfly!"

"That was mostly Coco," Velvet explained, tucking her Scroll back into her purse, "I finally gave in after years of her begging to do my make up." She gestured to her impressive chest, "After these came in, I needed the help."

Jaune choked on his beer. He coughed hard and pounded his chest. Velvet, concerned, got up and went around to his side.

"Jaune? Are you all right?!"

"J-Just... Just fine!" He managed, keeping his eyes well away from her chest.

Their waiter reappeared, smiling warmly and handing Jaune some water. He gratefully drank it.

"Would sir and ma'am enjoy the patio? It has fewer people at this hour," he said.

Velvet smiled at Jaune. Jaune smiled back. He stood up and held out his arm. She took it. He turned to the waiter.

"Uh, thank you, Mister-?"

"Ebon, sir," he said, "And don't worry, the tip has been taken care of." He leaned in and muttered quietly:

"You couldn't afford it anyway."

"G-Good to know," Jaune managed.

- - -

They made it to the patio, and indeed, it was sparsely populated at this hour. They walked out to the railing and looked out across Vale. Velvet sucked in a deep breath, her eyes shining.

"Wow," she murmured happily. Jaune nodded, smiling as he stared at her face.

He then immediately pulled his eyes away, blushing hard.

"Something wrong?" She asked urgently, "Do-Do you need more water?"

"N-No, I'm... I'm fine, really," Jaune said, waving his free hand, "Just uh... Boy howdy do you look pretty."

Velvet blushed and smiled warmly at Jaune.

"Thank you," she replied quietly. She sighed and looked back at the cityscape.

"This... This was nice," she said.

Jaune nodded.

"Sure was," he said.

Velvet worried her lower lip. Jaune turned to stare at her.

"Somethin' wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing!" Velvet said quickly. Jaune stared more intently which made her flush. She looked back out at the city.

"Well... Um..."

She pulled her arms away and put her hands together. She sighed.

"I... Um... I'm sorry, I just..."

Velvet shook her head.

"It is... It has been wonderful," she said, "But there's... I-I mean..." She sighed again.

"... I'm feeling like I would one of my brothers for you," she said frankly.

Jaune blinked. Velvet turned bright red.

"N-Not that you're unattractive! F-Far from it!" She insisted and waved her hands around almost frantically, "I-I loved getting to talk to you and eat and-and just get to know you... And you've so handsome, but I..."

Her ears drooped. She wrapped her arms around her with a very sad look on her face.

"I just... I thought I would be feeling butterflies in my stomach over you. Or-Or feel a spark. Some real heat, and... Well..." She shrugged helplessly.

"It... It's not there," she finished lamely.

She bowed her head and stared at the patio tiles. Jaune stared in silence for a bit. Velvet stuttered.

"I-I mean... Maybe it's just a first date, maybe it's just that this place is so expensive, m-maybe I just built you up in my head and..."

She closed her eyes tightly.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled.

She felt Jaune's hands on her elbows. She started and looked up into his face. He smiled gently.

"Like I said, I'm just here to have a good time with a nice, pretty lady," he said, "And I do believe we've had that."

Velvet smiled and became a lot less tense. She nodded.

"Y-Yeah... Yeah," she murmured. She shook her head. "I mean... Maybe... Maybe we could hang out more?"

"I would like that," Jaune said with a nod. He shrugged. "Sides... Ain't lookin' for love right now. It... Makes things complicated."

"Your ex?" Velvet asked, immediately filled with sympathy. Jaune looked out at the stars and nodded slowly.

"Among other reasons," he said, "Me? If I'm datin' a woman, it's for keeps. If we ain't gonna have matrimony as the goal? Then... We ain't goin' that far. Nothin' wrong with hanging out though."

"No, of course not," Velvet said with a nod, "I just... Um... Love's a lot more complicated than I thought, you know?"

Jaune sighed.

"Well, maybe we'll fall in love in the future anyway. Maybe it's the wrong time. Or maybe we'll both stay friends," he shrugged, "I'm startin' to realize the same. I'm just... Tryin' to keep as open a mind as I can."

Velvet smiled nervously.

"And um... Trying to avoid angering your harem?"

Jaune flushed deeply.

"I-It-It ain't a harem!" He sputtered. Velvet giggled.

"I suppose if you were trying to recruit for it, I might be more interested," she teased. Jaune flushed.

"Oh geez, Miss..."

"I think I like men who are a little more assertive anyway," Velvet hummed, "N-Not that you aren't assertive!" She waved her hands, "You can be! You're just... Not the right kind and... Ugh... Feelings are shite!"

She blushed and covered her mouth as her accent slipped out. Jaune laughed quietly.

"You're a real riot, Miss Scarlatina."

She smiled happily.

"Please... Call me Velvet. Since we're friends?"

"Sure can."

- - -

They walked out onto the street after leaving the restaurant. Jaune was already scanning for a taxi and cursing that he hadn't gotten Orleans' license yet. The vain horse didn't like the Department of Vehicles, nor their cameras.

"VELVET!"

Both Jaune and Velvet turned... And their jaws dropped. Dressed in tight leather pants, an open white button up shirt that showed off his pegs, scaly boots, and a rose in his hand, one Cardin Winchester approached. His eyebrow was twitching a bit as he looked over his shoulder, before he looked at them.

"Velvet, I..." His jaw dropped and face went red. "Oh Breaker you're hot."

Velvet's cheeks went bright red. Jaune scowled.

"Cardin, I thought I talked about this-"

"No! Nonono, I um... I'm here to... To..." Cardin shook his head to get his bearings, "Uh... A-Apologize." He held out the red rose to Velvet. "I... I was being an idiot. I want you to be my girlfriend, Velvet. All that bullying was just because I-I like you. Please... Accept my feelings!"

He went down to a knee, as though some myterious force had grabbed onto the metal in his pants and forced him down. He held the rose up to Velvet. She blushed deeply, and glanced between Cardin and Jaune.

Jaune blinked a few times. He shook his head and smiled at Velvet.

"Well... You did say you liked assertive men," he said.

"Um... Er... You... You don't mind...?" Velvet stuttered.

"S'long as he's genuine and ain't gonna cause trouble," Jaune stated, glaring down at the Winchester heir. Cardin shook his head.

"N-No! No, I am! I totally..." He stared at Velvet some more. "Holy crap she's so hot..."

He paused and blanched.

"I said that out loud didn't I?" He mumbled.

Velvet giggled. She walked over and took Cardin's hand. She pulled him up.

"Well... Um... I suppose I could... Give you a chance, with all the effort you put in," she said warmly. "We did just eat so... Would you like to go for a walk?"

"S-Sure," Cardin managed. He lowered his voice as he and Velvet walked away, but Jaune's keen ears picked his voice up.

"Can we stop by a store? This outfit is... Chilly. And it chafes."

Velvet giggled.

"I think I know a place."

Jaune watched them walk off into the night, and pushed his hat up at an angle to scratch the side of his head.

"Well... Ain't that somethin'," he chuckled.

He then felt Ruby wrap around him like a rope around a steer.

"Hurk!"

"JAUNE!" Ruby wailed. "We saw the whole thing! How could she dump you for her bully?!"

"The nerve of her!" Weiss added, walking into view (and hastily tossing a trenchcoat, scarf, and sunglasses into the trash), "Playing on your emotions!"

"We're here if you need us, Jaune, count on it," Pyrrha added, also tossing some random clothes into a trashcan. Yang walked up and sighed, patting Jaune on the shoulder.

"You okay there, Stud?"

Blake was scribbling things into her notebook and giggling a lot. Jaune heaved a sigh.

"Yeah... I'm fine," he said, "We decided we were better off as friends and... Apparently she likes men who are uh... Direct."

"Can't say I blame her," Yang smirked. Ruby tightened her hug, as Pyrrha and Weiss coughed suspiciously. Jaune sighed.

"... Ya'll wanna get some ice cream?"

"Sure!" Ruby cheered.

I'll sort this out myself one day, Jaune thought, as they headed for an ice cream parlor, One day.

- - -

I know, right? A girl deciding she doesn't want to be part of Jaune's harem? Insanity!

But I thought it would be a fun way to end things, and indulge a ship I really like, without making it come off as too out of character or bashy.

Poor Cardin has no idea what he's in for.

I may write some Jaune/Velvet in the future, but it is not this fic.

 

[NightDranzer]

....So you know how children are often just assholes all-around? Not out of actual malice, mind you; just childish selfishness...


....So apparently; Jaune has always been gentle-hearted and an absolute sweetheart, even as a kid; the only asshole trait he exuded was that he was way too honest, and got really snarky whenever his sisters strong-armed him into doing things he didn't want to.

Apparently, his family thought that his gentle nature made him ill-suited for the Huntsman lifestyle. It was never about a lack of talent, potential, and/or drive.


Source: Jaune Arc Amity Arena bio, and Miles Luna cameo.



EDIT:

Amity Arena Bio

Melee unit that can command allies to focus attacks.

Jaune Arc was never going to be the warrior his forefathers were. Born into a family with a bunch of sisters tougher than him and growing up a gentle, kind, young lad away from the front lines weren't recipes to create a fighting genius. He never made his own weapon, and he snuck into Beacon with little to no skill or knowledge of the world of Huntsmen.

Surrounded by the likes of Pyrrha, a world renowned fighter, Ren and Nora, frontier survivors of Kuroyuri, Ruby and Yang, the daughters of Beacon's Team STRQ, Blake, a former White Fang militant, and Weiss, the heiress of the Schnee, Jaune thought that he could not hold a candle to them.

But little did he know, Jaune also had a gift. A gift that allowed for him to take the hardest hits for his team, a gift that allowed him to heal the wounded, a gift that made everyone else around him stronger. Jaune was something the others were not. He was a leader. The kind with shaky legs, trembling hands, but with shield up, at the front.

Showing everyone that true courage... can only stem from a fearful heart.

Click to shrink...

 

[Fasd]

Yeah, it's crap, but 99.9 percent of anything self insert-like is. So meh. Don't expect a continuation.

Click to shrink...

So you say, I don't think I would mind one by you, it seems real and not super power fantasy.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

....So you know how children are often just assholes all-around? Not out of actual malice, mind you; just childish selfishness...


....So apparently; Jaune has always been gentle-hearted and an absolute sweetheart, even as a kid; the only asshole trait he exuded was that he was way too honest, and got really snarky whenever his sisters strong-armed him into doing things he didn't want to.

Apparently, his family thought that his gentle nature made him ill-suited for the Huntsman lifestyle. It was never about a lack of talent, potential, and/or drive.


Source: Jaune Arc Amity Arena bio, and Miles Luna cameo.



EDIT:

Amity Arena Bio

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I mean, this wouldn't actually be too against the fan-canon I've built for him. Seeing Jaune as too soft and not aggressive enough to handle the lifestyle would push Isabel and Nick towards becoming a doctor. They would not despise him, just think he couldn't handle it. They would still love him in my version though.

 

[NightDranzer]

Speaking of childhood selves, did you know that child!Weiss, child!Blake and child!Pyrrha were all Ruby-flavored in their own ways?


Child!Weiss was every bit as cheerful and excitable as Ruby was (shown more on the nose during Ice Queendom)

Child!Blake was unrelentingly idealistic and had a strong desire to be a hero like those from the fairy tales she loved so much (neat little bit of trivia: her role model was actually The Rusted Knight XD).

Child!Pyrrha was single-handedly obssessed with her areas of interest to the detriment of her social skills. Her social awkwardness was as high as her talent for battle (I think her VA Jen even stated that she was somewhat on the Spectrum, and her immense fighting capabilities were both due to her fighting talent and her obsessive focus on it).

 

[AndrewJTalon]

- - -

Blake... Had mistimed her jump. Her emotions were such a jumble after detaching from the train and jumping... She slammed into a barn roof, hard.

She fell, and hard. Even with her Aura, she could feel her ankle twist beyond comfort. She let out a cry, one she stifled...

But she could see a giant hulking figure in the darkness around the barn. She grit her teeth, tried to focus her Aura to speed up her healing. Yet after tonight's events, she was hungry, tired... And just out of energy. She raised Gambol Shroud, ready to fire. If this would be her last stand... She would fight.

The figure... Stepped into the moonlight.

He was tall, at least seven foot, and wore white and black armor with hints of rust here and there. It was a paladin's armor, a mix of old fashioned plating and modern support panels. His helmet was round and all-encompassing, with a black visor and a faceplate with some breathing holes bored into it. He wore a weathered blue duster, and held a gigantic sword behind his back.

Blake's jaw dropped in shock.

The Rusted Knight...?

Her childhood hero. The spirit of heroism itself.

How... How is he here?! Blake thought in shock. Here... Real...?!

"Rusted Knight?" She murmured.

He shone in the moonlight as he walked towards her. He stopped some distance away... Before holding out his hand. Blake stared at it.

"Ah...?"

"You look," he spoke, in a pleasant baritone that made Blake feel safe and warm, "Like you need some help, young lady."

Blake trembled a bit. She shut her eyes for a moment. Pain still burned in her ankle.

He couldn't be the real thing. He was just a human... A Hunter...

He stared at her, his mask giving up nothing. He spoke again:

"I don't know what you've been through. What you're running from. I won't ask. All I want is to help. If you say no, I'll just turn and walk away. If you ask... I'll help. That's all. This world would be better if we all just extended a hand to help others when they needed it, no questions asked."

Blake sniffled. It was right out of the Rusted Knight...

She slowly reached out and took his hand. Hers was so small in his. He pulled her up, and helped her walk.

"My name's Nick, what's yours?" He asked.

"... Blake," she decided on.

"That's a nice name," Nick, the Rusted Knight, said with a nod.

- - -

Basically, Nick Arc finds and rescues Blake. Despite herself, she trusts him because while he's a little off in some ways, in his full Armor? He is a dead ringer for the Rusted Knight. He also read those fairy tales as a child. So they have something to bond over.

This could have happened before Jaune set out for Beacon, so Blake might go with him on the journey.

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

Basically, Nick Arc finds and rescues Blake. Despite herself, she trusts him because while he's a little off in some ways, in his full Armor? He is a dead ringer for the Rusted Knight. He also read those fairy tales as a child. So they have something to bond over.

This could have happened before Jaune set out for Beacon, so Blake might go with him on the journey.

Click to shrink...

How about Jaune returning home after defeating Salem, and his parents finding out he was the Rusted Knight?

 

[SharkCultist]

Heheheheheheh let's mix us up some tropes!

---

Terry Cotta was looking forward to a easy Friday. Beacon was introducing a new core class today (which was super weird) and it was the only class of the day.

He's not sure how he got approval to name his class "dust for dummies, dorks, and dipshits" but oh well.

Terry sat down with his bully shield friends from the upperclassmen. Teams RWBY and PWNR.

"Hi guys!"

After the usual early morning grunts and grumbles of people up far to early without coffee.

"So you guys looking forward to the new class?"

"Hmph it's a waste of a time slot is what it is, and why is it a mandatory class for all three years?"

"I dunno, maybe this professor John guy made a big discovery?"

"I doubt it. What's his last name I'll look him up?"

"Uh, it just says John."

At this the entire population of second years went as quiet as Wisteria (and she's mute!).

"Him."

Never before had Terry been so scared to look at Ruby, except maybe that time at the pool with the ice dust....

"Him?"

"John NoName that arrogant, backstabbing, smooth talking slimy, sexy, two-faced mother fucker!"

Terry had been expecting a lot of people to blow up. He wasn't expecting it to be Weiss. She's usually just snippy not....well that.

One thing was sure. His Friday just got a whole bunch less peaceful.

---

This was the only class Terry knew of being held in the basement, hell until half a hour ago he didn't even know the school had a basement!

Which made the class a bitch to find but luckily they made it in time.

Unluckily the entire student body was here and 1/3 of them were radiating visible auras of bloodlust.

"Morning Padawan, I'm your professor Jaune. Not John, not J-man, not johnny, Jaune. Though in menagerie some people call me Big Richard, and if I'm feeling pretty you can call me Tiffany."

This. Was not what Terry expected. A guy around the same age as team PWNR wearing a old faded comic book T-shirt and a...armored fluffy pink bathrobe with a bunny hood? This was the teacher? What the hell man!

Terry went to ask a question before team wmpl (wimple) sauntered it.

"Oh, stragglers. Pack your shit. You're banned from my class, and since this is a required class, you're expelled."

(Idly Terry could make out team C4 panicking as they had been almost late. Cranberry working overtime to keep carl, carl, and carl from causing a scene.)

"You can't do that, you're just some guy."

"Ah, tardy and a bit retardy I see. Weiss care to correct them?" When Weiss stayed silent he gave her a glance. "or perhaps join them?"

"This is Jaune NoName, the world's only huntsmen to do two thought to be impossible things, graduate beacon in a day, and do it with a locked aura."

"This dude don't even have a aura? Man sit down civvy."

That was definitely the wrong thing to say because next thing Terry knows the team is buried a inch into the wall outside before Jaune closes the door.

"Right, I'm here to teach you how to use dust."

"We already know how to use dust....sir."

Oooh Terry could hear the strain in Yangs voice.

"Ha, no. You know how to take one of the most valuable finite resources in the world and use it to make booms. You're like a homeless man using the secrets of particle physics to heat a can of beans."

Well that's a bit harsh.

"And I'm sure you can enlighten is, right?"

"Got it on one frosty the no-man. I'm gonna fix aaaaall your dumbassery. Step 1."

And with a swing of his arm too fast to see suddenly everyone in the room had a broken aura.

"You start glowing in my class you break that shit again."

"What the hell man!"

"Ok class I'm going to be level with you. Aura? Aura is a mistake. Aura is you looking deep inside yourself and overshooting your goal because the lake is empty and hitting the shiny runner up prize. Congratulations."

"That's insane, you're insane, and so is Ozpin for hiring you."

"Feel free to bitch at ozzy all you want, I'm not too happy about him hounding for a year then blackmailing me into a teaching spot, luckily I'm only stuck here until your cores form and one of you can teach."

What? "Sir what's a core?"

"Thank you generic background bully target! Ok so. Take a dust, grip it, stab it, eat it, I don't care just make flesh to crystal contact. Then pull like you're looking for your aura and guide it to your chest. You're gonna have to do this a few times. Do not forget what color crystal you used or you will die. Don't do this with a active aura until I tell you your core is finished forming. Do everything right and you should build up your own regenerating power reserve that you can do whatever with, though at first it's gonna be stuff like sparks and pocket sand, but eventually you'll even be able to do non elemental stuff.

Jaune glances at the clock.

"Eh fuck it, class is over, any questions ask the Grimm skull in the corner."

What?

"Yo."

The FUCK.

---

So here's some canon to the snip but didn't make it in things.

Jaune passed by playing everything like a good boy until the Grimm were dead. He then knocked everyone out, took ALL the relics, and basically blackmailed the headmaster for a deploma.

Terry is terra cotta-arcs cousin. He is a weak baby man. He's gonna be a monster at magical power like the rest of his team.

Pyros the 3rd. Terry's partner. Imagine a 7 foot tall golden retriever of a man in bright gold armor who speaks in the third person. He'd be so popular for how helpful and friendly he is if it wasn't the entire rest of his personality.

I didn't come up with his other two teammates (I know I fail)

But there is team C4! Poor cranberry wished to be on a team with a hunky guy. She ended up with the triplet gymbros carl, carl, and carl. Surprisingly a well put together and functional team. They just thrive her crazy. (Ozpin laughs every time he sends team BOOM out and they have to explain the acronym is CCCC)

And finally Wisteria. Playful and mysterious lavender mute sh- yeah it's neo.

 

[Fallout5368]

The only conclusion I can come to is that before Raven took over, they just weren't a big enough deal for anybody to commit the resources needed to deal with them. That, or they just never left enough survivors of their raids for word to get back to anybody important.

Click to shrink...

I think it's also suggested that they were less bandits and more carrion feeders. Following and luring Grimm to settlements to kill and as the Grimm are either busy or moving off they would swoop in kill any survivors they found and start looting. With Raven's return, they could expand and operate more along the lines of highwaymen but they still seemed to act as carrion feeders with them following the Nucklavee around. I think Qrow outright states that they had a hand in killing Ren's home village. Since Ren and Nora are the same age as Yang this has to be around the time that Raven returned and likely took over.

 

[cavalal386]

Jaune passed by playing everything like a good boy until the Grimm were dead. He then knocked everyone out, took ALL the relics, and basically blackmailed the headmaster for a deploma.

Click to shrink...

Ok, I get what he did, but why did he do that? And for that matter HOW!?

 

[cavalal386]

my comment was strictly BLOODTHIRST! not Horny on Main Bitch Correction. However, give this is Questionable Questing, it stands to reason to think that Horny on Main is default for QQ posters.

Click to shrink...

In my defense, my thought process was "spacebattles for bloodlust", "questionable questing for normal lust"

 

[SharkCultist]

Ok, I get what he did, but why did he do that? And for that matter HOW!?

Click to shrink...

At some point Jaune ended up smacking into some dust and lucked into absorbing it, kinda like a accidental reflex.

Being the first person to do this and naturally having a big ass potential pool he ended up getting a bit more out of it than others would, in this case instead of just some "I het this would work" instincts that most other dust absorbers wilo get jaune got some flat out memory fragments from people and creatures that were broke down into the dust.

He doesn't have all the context but he has enough to know that Salem is out there, Ozpin knows Salem is out there, and Ozpin has been around a lot longer than he should.

 

[cavalal386]

At some point Jaune ended up smacking into some dust and lucked into absorbing it, kinda like a accidental reflex.

Being the first person to do this and naturally having a big ass potential pool he ended up getting a bit more out of it than others would, in this case instead of just some "I het this would work" instincts that most other dust absorbers wilo get jaune got some flat out memory fragments from people and creatures that were broke down into the dust.

He doesn't have all the context but he has enough to know that Salem is out there, Ozpin knows Salem is out there, and Ozpin has been around a lot longer than he should.

Click to shrink...

oh, ok. personally i thought it was going to be something like "Pineapple" by Imyoshi.

 

[SharkCultist]

oh, ok. personally i thought it was going to be something like "Pineapple" by Imyoshi.

Click to shrink...

Think of this Jaune as a mix of Harry Dresden and Dante sparda.

He's got good intentions and plenty of power but more often than not he's going to break something.

Since he's without his families guidance or the beacon professors he's ended up a bit of a dick.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Character concept: A tiger faunus named Colonel Sebastian Zaroff. He was a big Grimm and game hunter in Pandu, who killed many a Grimm. But he became twisted and obsessed with more challenging prey: Such as Hunters. When he was found out he fled to a private island. Salem entices him with the prospect of hunting powerful hunters.

 

[Fallout5368]

Character concept: A tiger faunus named Colonel Sebastian Zaroff. He was a big Grimm and game hunter in Pandu, who killed many a Grimm. But he became twisted and obsessed with more challenging prey: Such as Hunters. When he was found out he fled to a private island. Salem entices him with the prospect of hunting powerful hunters.

Click to shrink...

I would say it would be more interesting if he was just a wild card third party that hunts both sides. Salem does surround herself with a great many powerful minions.

 

[mgl1206]

You know what I need? Team RWBY and _N_R talking about how durable and soft Jaune's hoodie is.

 

[Abramus5250]

You know what I need? Team RWBY and _N_R talking about how durable and soft Jaune's hoodie is.

Click to shrink...

Turns out he's been unknowingly infusing it with his Aura for so long that due to his massive reserves, the thing is basically indestructible. In fact it's better armor than his actual armor.

 

[mgl1206]

Glynda's thoughts drifted as she watched the fight between Jaune Arc and Cardin Winchester. It was the 7th time she'd set them up, and she could hear the voices of her students behind her. The whispers that she hated him, that he'd done something to piss her off. No, that was not the truth, despite what they believed, she did not hate Mr. Arc.

She watched as Mr. Arc brought a heavy strike down onto Mr. Winchester but it was received by his opponent's mace and deflected to the side. Throwing off his balance and leaving his abdomen open to attack. An opening that Mr. Winchester was more than willing to utilize.

Was she disappointed in Mr. Arc? Yes, she was disappointed in him, after all, he had used false documents to enter her school. But that was something she would have forgiven him for, were it not for one thing.

The blow blew back Mr. Arc, sending him flying to the edge of the ring. Clumsily, he caught himself and managed to stop himself from rolling out of the ring. His aura was already below 80%, an indicator of his inexperience and inefficient use of his aura.

He had no training, and he had snuck into a Huntsmen Academy without even having his aura unlocked. It was something she ripped into Ozpin for but she could tell from his reaction that even he had not expected the boy to pull off something so foolish.

After making some distance from the edge of the ring, Mr. Arc stopped and waited for the larger opponent to charge him first. She could see that despite his fatigue, he was far from giving up. For all his faults, Mr. Arc had always been the most tenacious of all her students, and only one of two who had never surrendered in a fight. The other being his partner and mentor.

And that was the crux of the issue at hand. He was untrained in combat, in the use of aura, and in being a Huntsman in general. He was a civilian. And Glynda was terrified.

Mr. Winchester charged the smaller teen with reckless abandon, clearly expecting this fight to go as it had before. But not this time. He was caught off guard when Mr. Arc sidestepped him at the last instant and with a graceful spin -that no doubt came from his dancing background- slammed his sword onto the back of his opponent.

Losing her students was one of the few things that she always dreaded the most. Informing their parents, the grief, the anger, and the despair in their eyes hurt more than any physical injury ever could. And that was just their families. Watching their team and friends shatter arguably hurt worse. The way their eyes lost their shine, their spiral into depression, and the empty seats in her classroom.

The momentum carried Mr. Winchester forward, causing him to tumble across the ground. But true to his years of training, he recovered quickly, and unlike his years of training, she could see fury in his eyes. Something that she knew would get him killed.

That was the real reason she did this to Mr. Arc., why she had to make him hate her. Not because he was weak, not because of his transcripts, but because she didn't want to lose another student. And if that meant breaking his dreams. Then she'd be the evil witch people expected her to be. So long as he lives, so long as she doesn't have to see his team break apart in grief and madness.

Mr. Winchester charged Mr. Arc again and attacked him in a ferocious melee, but Jaune was not about to give in. He took the blows with his shield, patiently waiting for just the perfect time to strike back.

It didn't matter to her that he'd grown faster than any student she'd ever seen. It didn't matter that he was well on his way to his victory in her class. There was just no way for Jaune to catch up to his peers who'd trained for almost a decade, not with only a few months of training.

Suddenly, Jaune struck, ducking under a wild swing by Mr. Winchester, Jaune swung his sword up into a devastating slash. A strike that connected with his opponent's head, disorienting him, but he did not give his opponent a moment to recollect himself and quickly followed up the strike with a shield slam right into his opponent's throat. Lowering his aura well into the yellow range.

She'd seen them of course, Jaune and Ms. Nikos, training on the rooftops at night. Doing what should have been something that was technically her job. But her responsibilities as the Vice-Headmistress and her job of overseeing several hundred aura-powered teenagers had left her with little time to teach Jaune. And the other teachers were equally occupied with the Council not allowing them to hire extra teachers. As such, she had to get Mr. Arc to quit of his own free will. It was the only way to keep him safe.

Jaune took the initiative to charge Mr. Winchester again and attempted to do a shield bash, but it wasn't fast enough. Mr. Winchester dropped his weapon and instead grabbed onto his shield and dragged him to the ground, where he'd be an easy target for his mace.

But Mr. Arc was a stubborn man and he'd endured her attempts, and somehow had managed to thrive under it instead. Perhaps it was because he wanted to prove her wrong. But he never needed to. Glynda knew that Jaune had potential and would have made a wonderful Huntsman, one of the best even. But that was if he had been trained from the start.

But Jaune was not one to give up so readily, keeping his cool under the assault, he waited for the moment when Mr. Winchester used the burn dust in his mace. He had been paying attention and had noticed that Mr. Winchester never used the burn dust more than once at a time. Leaving him an opening to escape from the ground. An opening that had just arrived.

But maybe, just maybe, she was wrong. He had, after all, managed to kill an Ursa Major on his own with no outside training. A feat that very few, almost no one, could claim. She didn't know, maybe she did underestimate Jaune's talent and resolve.

At the perfect moment, Jaune collapsed his shield and rolled to the side, dodging the heavy - but nonexplosive - blow of Mr. Winchester's weapon. Now with an opening, Jaune rolled back and with as much force as he could muster, swung his sword into Mr. Winchester's left shoulder and arm. The same arm that he used to wield his weapon. Sent reeling from the blow and with no weapon, Mr. Winchester was no longer in an advantageous position. Trepidation was clearly visible on his face as he realized that for the first time, he might lose.

Did she want to risk it though? Could she really get past her fear to help Jaune get stronger? She looked at him again, his face full of determination. A far cry from his usually awkward persona.

The two combatants stared at each other before Jaune launched forward in an aura-enhanced rush. Mr. Winchester was unable to do anything as Jaune's ferocious assault left him with little in the way of retaliating. Any attempt he made to try and reach for his weapon was intercepted, and any attempt to try and retaliate was parried, blocked, or simply avoided. And Glynda realized that he had been holding back earlier. He had been aiming for his weapon from the start, and with it gone, there was simply no way for Mr. Winchester to retaliate. Especially when he was no pugilist like Ms. Xiao-Long.

Glynda couldn't help but smile Jaune depleted Mr. Winchester's aura to below red, with his own comfortably in the high yellow. Indeed, despite being aware of his potential, she had still underestimated just how talented he actually was. Perhaps he was on par with Ms. Nikos in that department. Regardless, she had been proven wrong and despite her still lingering fears, she couldn't help but be excited for Jaune's growth.

"Mr. Arc wins this match. Mr. Arc. You let Mr. Winchester underestimate you and disarmed him, taking advantage of his overreliance on his weapon to defeat him. I'd provide other recommendations, but I do believe your partner has that covered." Her praise was met with silence, surprising many of the students who believed she hated Jaune. But the silence was quickly broken by a shout from Jaune's energetic teammate, soon followed by the rest of his team and friends.

"Mr. Winchester, while you performed well initially, you let your emotions get the better of you. Leaving you open to being manipulated and subsequently resulting in the loss of your sole weapon. I do recommend you practice with either a backup weapon or in CQC. Recommendations that also apply to many of you as well." Glynda stated as she glared at many of the offending students, who wilted under her gaze.

"That'll be all for today, class dismissed, and Mr. Arc?" The blonde knight looked up to meet his teacher. "Congratulations on your first win."

———

Hope the way I wrote it wasn't too weird. I was kinda going for a two story thing. Where one is what Glynda is seeing and is the fight between Jaune and Cardin while the other is Glynda's own internal thoughts and the way the fight is going is also kinda how Glynda's own thoughts change as well. At least that was the goal, not sure how well I achieved that or not.

 

[NightDranzer]

Hope the way I wrote it wasn't too weird. I was kinda going for a two story thing. Where one is what Glynda is seeing and is the fight between Jaune and Cardin while the other is Glynda's own internal thoughts and the way the fight is going is also kinda how Glynda's own thoughts change as well. At least that was the goal, not sure how well I achieved that or not.

Click to shrink...

Try to add this post with your previous post as an edit, to avoid doubleposting.

 

[SharkCultist]

A small idea but Salem doesn't realize that the gods actually played her with their punishment by leaving Grimm pools behind.

"Tell me Salem do you know why so few gods directly use their powers to change the world and instead instead gift one or two champions some skills and items? Why most of them hide away in mythical mountains and impossible realms?"

"Because they are lazy and arrogant! Expecting humans to do their dirty work."

"Oh child, no. Salem to interact with a world is to become a part of that world, as you make changes to it, it will make changes to you."

"I don't understand."

"Don't you? Two centuries ago you indiscriminately killed every man, woman, and child you met. Now? You've got your own little posse. You're more somber, introspective. You're changing Salem. Just like the gods wanted."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Yang was chilling out on the quad. Jaune was sitting nearby since they'd just finished a run, and he was playing a game on his Scroll.

Yang: "So... Since I'm helping you train and all, VB, mind giving me your notes for next week's exam?"

Jaune: sigh "I thought I left this behind in high school."

Yang: "Hey, not my fault you're actually good at the written tests!"

Jaune: "I will help you study, Yang, but I'm not going any further."

Yang: "Oh~? How far do you want to go~?"

Jaune: flush "Yang...!"

Which is when there's a flash of rainbow light... And a chubby, sort of anthopomorphic pony appears.

Pony: "Yahng! Yahhhhng!"

Yang: "Wha-Oh, fuck."

Jaune: "Huh?!"

Pony: "We need your help! Please! Only your dextrous fingers and human brain can save us!"

Yang: "NO!"

Pony: "But-"

Yang: "NO!" She gets up and glares "I keep helping you jerks but you never actually need me! EVER!"

Pony: "But-!"

Yang: "I HAVE A LIFE DAMNIT!"

Pony: sniffles, whimpers

Yang: "..."

Pony: Keeps sniffling

Yang: "..." angry, frustrated, depressed sigh "FINE."

Pony: "Yay! We might need your friend too!"

Yang: "Yeah. Sure. Of course."

Jaune: "Hwah?!"

After a magical adventure in a fantasy pony land where things are resolved without Yang or Jaune's help needed, the ponies of Ponyland celebrate happily as Yang sighs and Jaune sits with her.

Jaune: "Wow... It really is a magical fantasy land-"

Yang: "It's balls! They never actually needed me, they just keep yanking me on these stupid 'adventures'! But I can't say NO, right? I just can't say NO because they're all dumbasses!" sigh "What the hell?!"

Shady: A pink pony "Well, if you weren't a virgin we couldn't call you anymore."

Yang: "Say what?!"

Jaune: "Huh?!"

Shady: "The pony magic only brings pure maidens to our land. So if you got a boyfriend we'd have to ask another little girl to help us and have whimsical adventures!"

Yang: "Wha-WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!"

Shady: "Tell you what? Oh! The virgin thing? Sorry, thought you knew. You do always help us and you've never had a boyfriend-"

Yang: grabs Jaune "Jaune! You're my boyfriend now!"

Jaune: "Urk! Okay?"

Yang: "I'm losing my virginity in Princess Pony's freaking bedchamber RIGHT NOW!"

Jaune: "Okay!"

Yang drags Jaune off. The ponies all look at Shady.

Honeysuckle: "Shadyyyy! Why'd you have to tell her?!"

Shady: "Well... Maybe we don't need her anymore. Maybe we can evolve to a new generation! A fourth generation! Where we ponies don't need a human to fix all our problems for us!"

A beat.

Shady: "Also Princess Pony's kind of a bitch."

The other ponies nod and murmur agreement.

Shady: "What do you think, Applejack?"

Applejack is being attacked by a Grimm.

Applejack: "AIYEEEEEE!"

Ponies: exasperated but fond sigh "Oh, Applejack..."

- - -

Obviously inspired by this series of videos:


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNJFPRqsdjk

 

[Adalino51298]

I have about 50% certainty that the author was stoned when he wrote this