Selling (Somewhat) Magic Goods in Arknights

[Krein]

Interludes about side-characters reacting to the main plot are always so much fun to read.

 

[CereysKerrigan]

RIP Wafer. Hardly knew er.'

 

[Paracsus]

Interludes about side-characters reacting to the main plot are always so much fun to read.

Click to shrink...

I wanted to actually do a more PHO style of reaction, but I don't think it would work all that well since, as another reader pointed out, communications are largely bound to each city; hence the need for Messengers.

I really tried to do it that way, hence Click's livestream chat, but I found it really difficult since those are built in a certain format so it's hard for me.

 

[SomeoneSomewhereSomehow]

I wanted to actually do a more PHO style of reaction, but I don't think it would work all that well since, as another reader pointed out, communications are largely bound to each city; hence the need for Messengers.

I really tried to do it that way, hence Click's livestream chat, but I found it really difficult since those are built in a certain format so it's hard for me.

Click to shrink...

Hm. I mean, a forum could still work as long as its city-wide at most. Packet ship delays would make multi-city networks impossible apart from some rare circumstances where they are gathered together close enough for large antennae to link their networks together.

Speaking of which, I found on AO3 a very interesting 5-part series of in-universe documents focused on landships and mobile cities translated by a guy called Beryoza which I find extremely interesting.

 

[Paracsus]

Hm. I mean, a forum could still work as long as its city-wide at most. Packet ship delays would make multi-city networks impossible apart from some rare circumstances where they are gathered together close enough for large antennae to link their networks together.

Speaking of which, I found on AO3 a very interesting 5-part series of in-universe documents focused on landships and mobile cities translated by a guy called Beryoza which I find extremely interesting.

Click to shrink...

Thanks. I'll check it out

 

[Paracsus]

Omake: Kuroinu

The interior of the cart had been transformed into a makeshift fortress.

Chairs were stacked against the door, shutters were locked tight on every window, and a large handwritten sign reading "No Shirts, No PANTS, No Shoes, NO SERVICE!!!!" hung outside with aggressive determination. Arno sat at the small table inside, quietly reading a book while occasionally glancing toward the barricaded entrance. He had not been allowed to step foot outside since they arrived in this world.

Niko, meanwhile, was on high alert. She stood on a stool, peering through the tiniest possible crack in one of the shutters like a soldier on watch duty. Gudako sat nearby on the edge of her bed, looking equally nervous but ready to support her friend.

"I still can't believe this place," Niko muttered, her ears twitching with irritation. "I hate it here. I really, really do."

Arno spoke, idly turning a page. "It can't be that bad, Niko."

"It is that bad, Arno." Gudako piped up, having scene the cause for concern earlier.

"Why? What did you see? Was there a monster in a bikini or something?" Arno joked.

"Eh…" Gudako rubbed her head as she recalled the earlier events.

---

It had started innocently enough just a few hours earlier.

The cart had come to a stop, and Niko had been the first one out, practically vibrating with excitement about exploring a brand-new world.

"New place! New food! New everything!" she had cheered, running a few steps ahead while Arno stepped out behind her. Gudako had followed while taking in her new surroundings, staying close to Niko's side.

That was when Niko saw her.

A female knight stood not far away, patrolling the road with confident strides. Her armor was scandalously minimal — little more than decorative metal pieces connected by straps, leaving most of her body exposed. The knight's posture was proud and powerful, but the sheer lack of actual coverage made Niko's brain short-circuit.

"Halt! You there! Who are you, and why–?!" The supposed knight hollered, but didn't get to finish.

Niko had frozen on the spot for half a second before letting out a blood-curdling shriek.

"ARNO! DON'T COME OUT HERE! T-THERE'S A PERVERT OUTSIDE!!!"

"A PERVERT?! WHERE!?" The knight (the aforementioned pervert) screamed as she whirled around, trying to find who Niko was talking about.

Niko had turned and sprinted back into the cart so fast that her feet barely touched the ground. The door slammed shut behind her with a deafening bang. Before Arno could even react, every shutter on the cart slammed closed. Locks clicked frantically from inside.

A few moments later, one shutter opened just wide enough for a small hand to hang a hastily scrawled sign.

"No Shirts, No PANTS, No Shoes, NO SERVICE!!!!"

Arno (who was finishing his lunch) was about to go outside to meet the first customer before his head was promptly grabbed by Gudako, and forced into her chest to prevent him from looking outside while dragging him to the bed. Since then, Niko had declared him officially banned from leaving the cart "for his own protection."

---

Back in the present, Niko continued her vigil at the window, her expression one of deep disapproval.

"I still see them out there," she whispered harshly. "Another one just walked by. How do they fight like that? How do they MOVE like that? That's not armor, that's… underwear with metal bits glued on! It's indecent!"

Gudako gave a small, sympathetic nod and hugged her pillow tighter. She had only gone outside twice with Niko since the incident — both times to do some recon — and had returned looking even more timid than usual, for a reason that had nothing to do with her Beast nature.

Arno set his book down and leaned back in his chair. "Niko, we can't stay locked in here forever. The cart might need—"

"No," Niko cut him off firmly, not even turning around. "You are staying inside. This world… it's so WEIRD! What if one of those girls trip and fall? Won't their butt and boobs be shown to everyone?!."

She adjusted the shutter slightly, peeking out again before quickly closing it. "This place is full of perverts. If the women are walking around like that in public, then what about the guys? I hate it here. I really, really hate it here."

Gudako let out a soft agreeing hum and offered Niko a can of juice as emotional support. Niko took it gratefully and continued her rant while sipping.

"It's…really weird, Arno." Gudako said as she had some chocolate. She sat herself on his lap as he stroked her horns, much to her delight. "And I've been around some of the Servants back home. This…this is just something else. At least my Servants had common decency to dress better when around others."

"Back home, knights wore these big, heavy armor plates and helmets. Real armor that can make you look like a tank! Not… not whatever this is supposed to be. I feel like I need to dress up in more clothes, for their sake."

Arno couldn't help but smile faintly, though he kept his tone gentle. "Alright. I'll stay inside for now. Just let me know if you and Gudako need help with anything."

Niko nodded seriously, still standing guard. "We'll handle it. Gudako and I will go out together if we need more supplies. But you stay right there where it's safe and normal."

She hopped down from the stool for a moment, only to drag another small box over to reinforce the barricade. "This world is weird and sticky and wrong. The second the cart lets us leave, we're gone. No discussions."

Gudako gave another quiet nod of solidarity, clearly just as uncomfortable with the atmosphere outside.

Niko continued her vigilant watch from the stool, ears twitching at every sound from outside. Gudako sat close by, occasionally handing her friend snacks or juice as moral support. Arno had given up trying to reason with them for the moment and returned to his book, though he kept one eye on the barricaded door.

Suddenly, Niko stiffened.

"More of them are coming," she whispered. "And they look important. Oh no…"

Outside, three female knights had gathered near the cart. After several failed attempts to get a response, one of them spoke to someone who had a winged helmet on.

"Commander Claudia? We have a strange situation here. There's a merchant cart that appeared out of nowhere. The occupants have barricaded themselves inside and hung a very… aggressive sign. They're refusing to open up and surrender themselves for inspection. You should probably see this."

The moment her commanding presence approached, Niko's eyes widened in horror. Claudia's armor followed the same regional style as the others — highly ornate yet extremely revealing, with strategic metal plates that seemed to prioritize showing off her figure than actually doing something useful.

Arno, hearing the new voices, stood up from his chair. "Maybe I should talk to them. They sound like actual authorities—"

He stepped toward the shutters and reached out to open one.

Before his fingers could touch the latch, Gudako's long, powerful tail whipped out with surprising speed. It wrapped firmly around Arno's waist, yanked him backward, and gently deposited him back into his chair.

"Go to sleep, Master. We can do this."

She then placed a soft hand on his forehead. A soothing, calming wave of energy washed over him, and Arno's eyes fluttered shut as he slumped peacefully into a forced nap.

"Good work, Gudako," Niko said approvingly without taking her eyes off the crack in the shutter.

Niko pushed the shutter open just a sliver, glaring fiercely at the group outside.

"Go away!" she shouted. "Perverts aren't allowed near our cart! We're closed!"

Claudia raised an elegant eyebrow, looking both mildly insulted and thoroughly entertained. She placed one hand on her hip, her revealing armor shifting with the motion.

"Perverts?" she repeated, her voice carrying clear amusement. "Little one, that is quite the accusation. I am Commander Claudia of the Knight Order. We are simply here to investigate a suspicious vehicle that appeared without warning. How exactly am I a pervert?"

Niko shoved the shutter open a bit wider and pointed an accusatory finger directly at Claudia.

"Look at that!" she yelled. "That's not armor! That's shiny underwear with fancy metal decorations! Your chest is basically out! Your stomach too! How do you even fight like that?! All of you are walking around half-naked! You're all perverts!"

The knights behind Claudia stared in stunned silence. Claudia herself blinked once, then let out a rich, hearty laugh, clearly more amused than offended by the tiny girl's outrage.

"This armor is built for speed and efficiency," Claudia explained patiently, as if reasoning with a confused child. "Heavy plate would only slow us down during battle. I'm not sure you understand, girl, but we need to dress like this to protect you from monsters!"

Claudia then dropped the bomb.

"Besides, all knights in Eostia dress like this. It is completely normal. I doubt you would find someone wearing something like a slab of metal on their chest and keep up with us." the Pervert Knight Captain said proudly, as if she's the reason why her fellow knights are like this.

Niko's face turned bright red with righteous fury.

"Normal?!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. "This is not normal! This is disgusting! I refuse to serve people like that! Go away! All of you! We're not opening the cart for people who fight in their panties! Leave right now!"

She slammed the shutter shut with all her strength, making the entire cart rattle.

From outside, Claudia's amused voice could still be heard clearly.

"Well, this is certainly new. I have been called many things during my service, but never a 'freak in panties' by a child. Normally, it would be the young boys looking at us in awe. How fascinating."

(AN: Lady, I'm pretty sure they are looking at you in many things BUT awe.)

One of the other knights chuckled. "Commander, should we… insist?"

"No," Claudia replied, still sounding entertained. "Let them be. The cart does not seem hostile, merely… extremely naive. Still, I am quite curious now. Who exactly is inside there that they feel the need to barricade themselves so thoroughly from the outside world?"

Niko dragged another heavy box over to reinforce the barricade, breathing heavily from indignation. "Did you hear that? She thinks it's normal! This whole world is completely broken! I want to leave right now!"

Gudako nodded vigorously and handed Niko another can, ready to defend the cart's honor. Arno remained fast asleep in his chair, blissfully unaware of the escalating moral standoff happening just outside.

Niko climbed back onto her lookout stool and resumed glaring through the tiny crack. Commander Claudia and her knights lingered nearby, clearly intrigued by the strange, moralistic little merchant cart that had suddenly appeared in their territory.

The situation outside remained tense but strangely lighthearted, with no immediate signs that the cart's defenders were willing to open up anytime soon.

---

Meanwhile, in the Fort City of Ken

Deep within the grand chambers of the Holy Queen's palace, Celestine Lucross sat at the edge of her ornate bed, holding her head in both hands. The elegant High Elf Queen — renowned across the continent for her unmatched beauty, wisdom, and grace — was currently flushed bright red from the tips of her long pointed ears all the way down to her elegant neck.

Her usual dignified composure had completely collapsed.

Luu-Luu, her small, dwarf friend and fellow Princess Knight was carrying a tea set. The moment she saw Celestine's state, she nearly dropped everything.

"Celestine?! What's wrong?!" Luu-Luu exclaimed, rushing over and setting the tray down with a clatter. "Your face is so red! Are you sick? Did someone poison you? Do I need to call the healers?!"

Celestine let out a long, miserable groan, covering her face completely with her hands. Her golden hair spilled messily over her shoulders, a rare sign of distress.

"I appear to have… greatly appalled someone of great importance," she muttered, voice muffled by her palms.

Luu-Luu tilted her head, ears perking up with curiosity. "Eh? Who? One of the allied lords? A dragon? Wait, was it Maia? You know, she won't ever let you live it down if it was her, right?"

Celestine slowly lowered her hands, revealing a deeply embarrassed expression that looked completely out of place on the Holy Queen's face.

"No…" she groaned, dragging the word out in shame. "I seem to have shamefully embarrassed our entire alliance… to the Sun God and his Messiah."

A long silence filled the chamber.

Luu-Luu blinked once. Twice. Then her eyes went wide as dinner plates.

"THE SUN GOD?!" she squeaked. "And his MESSIAH?! How?! What did you do?! Did you accidentally send them a naughty painting?! Did you invite them to one of our 'welcome festivals' without warning them about the traditional clothing policy?!"

Celestine slumped forward, burying her face in her hands again. Her ears burned an even deeper shade of crimson.

"I received a vision from Luxio-sama about what Commander Claudia is doing just now," she said, voice filled with mortification. "A mysterious merchant cart appeared near the eastern road. When our knights approached to greet them… the child inside took one look at our knights and declared them all perverts. She called our sacred battle armor 'shiny underwear' and slammed the shutters in their faces. She even hung a sign refusing service to anyone not fully clothed."

Luu-Luu stared at her for a long moment… then burst into high-pitched laughter, nearly falling over.

"Pffffft—! Shiny underwear?! She really said that?! To CLAUDIA of all people?!"

"It gets worse," Celestine whimpered, peeking through her fingers. "The child referred to our entire knightly order as 'freaks who fight in their panties.' She refused to open the cart for anyone dressed in 'indecent' armor. And I have reason to believe… the one they call the Messiah was the one screaming at Claudia."

Luu-Luu was now clutching her stomach, tears of laughter forming in her eyes. "The Messiah thinks we're all perverts! The Sun God's own chosen saw our elite knights and decided we're shameless! This is the funniest thing I've heard all year!"

Celestine shot her friend a betrayed look, though her flushed cheeks ruined the effect. "This is not funny, Luu-Luu! We have spent years building an alliance under the banner of the gods to protect this continent. And now the very Messiah we should be honoring has barricaded themselves inside a cart and labeled us all immoral! What if they tell the Sun God we are a nation of exhibitionists?!"

Luu-Luu wiped tears from her eyes, still giggling. "But Celestine… our armor is pretty revealing. I mean, you designed some of it yourself for maximum mobility and—"

"Don't remind me!" Celestine wailed, dramatically flopping backward onto her bed and covering her face with a pillow. "I thought it was elegant and practical! Can you imagine my surprise when Luxio-sama had to pull me aside in my dreams to tell me that we look like harem members?!!"

Luu-Luu climbed onto the bed beside her, still snickering. "So what are you going to do? Send them proper robes? Apologize? Ask them nicely to ignore our traditional battle fashion?"

Celestine let out another long, suffering groan from beneath the pillow.

"I don't know… But we cannot afford to make this worse. The Sun God and his Messiah are clearly… very traditional. Extremely traditional. Possibly the most traditional beings we have ever encountered."

She slowly sat up, still flushed with embarrassment.

"And the worst part is… the child sounded genuinely traumatized. I fear we may have scarred the Messiah for life on our very first impression."

Luu-Luu patted her friend's shoulder, barely holding back more laughter.

"Well… at least they haven't left yet. Maybe we can still fix this. Though I have to admit — I really want to meet the girl had the hutzpah to call us those things."

Celestine buried her face in her hands once more, letting out a quiet, dignified wail of shame that echoed through the royal chambers.

Meanwhile, another panicked figure burst into her chambers.

"CELESTINE-SAMA! Why am I getting a missive from Luxio-sama and Amaterasu-sama about the indecency of our esteemed knights?!" Kaguya said.

This time, both dwarf and elf groaned.

This was going to be a very long week.

---

AN: I would absolutely LOVE to paste pictures in here of the new characters of this crossover, but I'm pretty sure everyone and their mothers know who these supposed knights are; as well as why I cannot do that.

 

[Mashadarof402]

This is QQ, you can post that kind of content here unless it's licensed stuff.

 

[lethaliclucas12]

interesting choice for a crossover seeing as what kuroinu is about. Thankfully common sense strikes once again

 

[Paracsus]

This is QQ, you can post that kind of content here unless it's licensed stuff.

Click to shrink...

No, I can't do that because this is posted on the SFW part of the site. I don't want it to get taken down for putting a pinky on the line.

 

[Tenno]

The Fallout

Click to shrink...

Ay, a fellow guin fan! Does that mean your using grandpa doc? Also, this chapter was great.

 

[Slayer 10321]

Omake: Kuroinu

Click to shrink...

Ok...that was really annoying. Especially what Arno's companions did.

Dude's a merchant. So long as the customer pays and doesn't make a nuisance of themselves during transaction, it doesn't matter what they wear.

They literally cost him business for stupid reasons. If they can't be mature enough to just 'smile and wave' while getting more funds and resources, then they should fuck off back into the cart and let Arno handle things.

 

[DuckaBoo385]

No, I can't do that because this is posted on the SFW part of the site. I don't want it to get taken down for putting a pinky on the line.

Click to shrink...

Wait, was this story moved to the SFW section? Thought this story was at first accidentally put in the NSFW section, but since it gained traction, you OP said it would be staying on the NSFW side despite being mostly all SFW, cause they did not want to "start over again"?

Did a mod help migrate everything to the SFW side? Otherwise, no pinky crossing whatsoever even if you go down deep past the line.

 

[Pulsar232]

No, I can't do that because this is posted on the SFW part of the site. I don't want it to get taken down for putting a pinky on the line.

Click to shrink...

It's easy to forget that QQ has a SFW section. Honestly, I don't even browse the SFW section so I don't know how I got here in the first place...

 

[Paracsus]

It's easy to forget that QQ has a SFW section. Honestly, I don't even browse the SFW section so I don't know how I got here in the first place...

Click to shrink...

That's fair. I think you got here at some ppint because this story was originally in the NSFW section. I posted it there by mistake since that's the side I also usually frequent.

 

[Paracsus]

Wait, was this story moved to the SFW section? Thought this story was at first accidentally put in the NSFW section, but since it gained traction, you OP said it would be staying on the NSFW side despite being mostly all SFW, cause they did not want to "start over again"?

Did a mod help migrate everything to the SFW side? Otherwise, no pinky crossing whatsoever even if you go down deep past the line.

Click to shrink...

Yeah, a mod helped. That's how the likes and comments stayed.

 

[Paracsus]

Ok...that was really annoying. Especially what Arno's companions did.

Dude's a merchant. So long as the customer pays and doesn't make a nuisance of themselves during transaction, it doesn't matter what they wear.

They literally cost him business for stupid reasons. If they can't be mature enough to just 'smile and wave' while getting more funds and resources, then they should fuck off back into the cart and let Arno handle things.

Click to shrink...

Nah. I find it funny. Besides, let's say it's like this: Niko doesn't know what's going on or who these people are, but Gudako does. So she's going along like this because she'd also rather be in any other place than Eostia. She's not saying anything because Niko is 12.

Also, I'm not sure if it's lore accurate, but I'm pretty sure that Kuroinu is set in a matriarchal society wherein men are seen as second-class citizens before Vault flipped the table over the whole continent. I'd say it's for the best that the girls handle this.

 

[Paracsus]

Ay, a fellow guin fan! Does that mean your using grandpa doc? Also, this chapter was great.

Click to shrink...

Unfortunately, I can't use Aldrino Sr. because of how GuinGuin Arknights changes canon completely. Like, you know, the destruction of Reunion at Chernobog? Also, the crossover of that verse ties in to Girls Frontline and Uma Musume so it's kind of a mess timeline wise.