031 - About careless handling of unstable shinobi and horrible, horrible misunderstandings
Planeshunter
Verified Slimegirl Whisperer, Lord of the Useless
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Surprise, I'm back!
This chapter was a bitch and a half to write. Which compounded everything else in my life into a muse-killing concoction. I had half resigned myself to shelving this story when… Well, I don't know what happened today, words just seemed to flow and fill all the holes and fix all the parts I didn't like.
Fucking Magic, I swear. Not that I'm complaining.
This chapter was a bitch and a half to write. Which compounded everything else in my life into a muse-killing concoction. I had half resigned myself to shelving this story when… Well, I don't know what happened today, words just seemed to flow and fill all the holes and fix all the parts I didn't like.
Fucking Magic, I swear. Not that I'm complaining.
031 - About careless handling of unstable shinobi and horrible, horrible misunderstandings
Well, we're finally here. This is the forest that traumatised Karin. Rather, the forest where the ninja who traumatised Karin have their hideout. I would just set it on fire and be done with it, but our target being suspected Iwa-nin means [Hiding like a Mole Jutsu] and other easy ways to no-sell a forest fires. That and they'll give me the stink eye if I commit to wholesale landscaping.
Madara does it, he's a legend, I suggest it, people call me crazy. Typical.
Oh, well, I've waited too long to be satisfied with something so impersonal anyway. It's been weeks since I was first assigned this mission. Turns out handling the logistics of an operation like this isn't as easy as the Boss Dude telling me what to do. Isn't that how military dictatorships are supposed to work? Damn paperwork, it ruins everything.
Anyway, besides the fact we took friggin' forever, the travel was nice and uneventful. The first night out they tried to patronise me with some bullshit about my test not starting until we reached the enemy, that I would've happily taken advantage of to skip my turn during guards and sleep full nights in normal circumstances, but I happen to be aware of shinobi examinations and their favorite tactics, so I assumed the test was already on and this was a trap.
It's not like this is my first mission, you know? One gets used to guard shifts quickly, and I've never slept all that much anyway.
I even make a point to wake up at every guard shift even if it's not my turn, just in case I see something funny happening. Like now, when instead of going straight to bed, Jounin #2 went outside and took a couple of hours to come back. Problem? People do that all the time. To have a cig, to take a wee, to get away from people for a while, to find a hooker… take your pick.
It doesn't mean shit, I'm tired and tomorrow's the day, so I make note of it and go back to sleep.
Back to the present, I'm still in front of a forest holding an indeterminate amount of enemy ninja, not the time to let the mind wander. Taking a deep breath to refocus myself, I sign my
Yes, I know I'm the one being patronising now, but I'm supposed to act like a Chunin would with his squad, so that's what I'm doing. Nevermind the fact they have ten times my experience in the field. Assuming they're not undercover Kusa-Anbu. I honestly have no idea what the Boss Dude feeds those guys, but I haven't been able to catch sight of them yet.
As I get into the depths of the forest, I sink into a sort of methodic focus, letting training and instinct take control as I sweep for traps while remaining as hidden as possible. Those I find, I have to signal to my squad without disarming. Too high a risk our target will be warned if we fiddle with them.
It's stressful work, but relatively straightforward. I can safely assume there's no trap specialist here, probably nobody over chunin either. That or they're particularly devious and are letting me be lulled into a false sense of saf—
I suddenly stop, foot not an inch away from a thin strand of ninja wire. If not for my actually secret training, I would've missed it completely and lost a foot, or at least gotten a very nasty cut. Eyeing around, I see no other trap like this, and internally frown. Wire traps like this don't really fit Iwa's MO in general, nor what I've learnt of this group so far in particular.
What's more, there's only one wire, this one. It's rather telling that it was placed in such a way I almost tripped it. Perfect positioning, not for any infiltrating shinobi, because that's impossible to manage, but for an infiltrating Shimada Ran. This isn't a defensive trap against intruders, but a deliberate attack against me in particular.
There's no way these guys know enough about me to prepare this. I eye the strand again, noticing an irregular sheen indicating some sort of liquid subtly smeared on it. Thin enough to not form droplets, and a delicate artwork only found in the best Suna puppet master or in…
I'll bet galleons against your knuts that liquid is one of Kusa's special mixes. This is active sabotage against me. My blood runs cold at the feeling of betrayal.
Is this their own initiative or was it ordained? Does the Boss Dude want me to fail? Or has he finally decided I'm not worth the hassle and wants to wash his hands off me in a way that won't draw Mother's ire on him?
Thinking about it, how come I never considered the possibility of being 'silenced' by the Village? I certainly give them enough trouble, at some point my potential, or even catering to Mother has to stop being worth it. Focused as I was in other matters, I just never thought I'd reach that point, or at least that it would be so soon.
As I'm reflecting this, I spy my two 'examiners' exchanging a look in the corner of my eye, and my pulse quickens. Muscles tense when I see one of them [Flickers] at my side and blood roars in my ears as he tries to put a hand on my shoulder.
They say time slows to a crawl when you're tense enough, but it wasn't like that in my case. He touched me and, next thing I knew, I had put a kunai through his chest and my hands were covered in blood. Then time slowed to a crawl.
Fuck!
"Hey, are you alright?" The other one hurries to break cover and get to me, can't blame him, there are now bigger concerns than stealth.
I just stand in place, too shocked to form a coherent answer, and his expression softens slightly. With very slow, very deliberately non-threatening moves, he puts a hand on my shoulder. From the front.
"Look, this is obviously not your fault, the idiot should know better then to approach a tense shinobi from behind. Probably even did it on purpose to be a jerk.. He just subestimated your speed."
He's been the cool guy all the mission, the one who makes the fun jokes and doesn't rub my inexperience in my face. I might still not remember his name, but he sure was nicer than Mister Bleeding Heart down there in the ground, so I hesitantly put a hand around him. This isn't as comforting as I hoped, but I'll take it.
"No I'm not okay." I whisper, before taking a step back to break contact and let out a short laugh that's well within the territory of hysterics. "I just wanted to get promoted, reach the exam safely and cheer on Karin while making sure she met the family she has there in Konoha."
He tenses, and I realize I've said too much. I do my best to collect myself and retake control, but it's like a damn dam has broken. There's no stopping the words now.
"But you had to sabotage me, didn't you? Now the Boss Dude will force me to assist Team Deader Meat and we'll be Orochimaru'd on the way there and all will follow canon and Karin will be miserable for years till she dies to save Sarada and who the fuck calls her daughter Salad? Is this Dragon Ball? Is she a saiyan?"
I'm rambling. I'm running my mouth and saying things I really should be keeping quiet. Which takes us to the next business of the day.
"… And now I have to kill you too"
"Easy there, the only place you're going is an interrogation cell back in Kusa." I get on guard and he laughs. "You won't be catching me by surprise like that idiot. What makes you think you can take on a jounin?"
He goes through some hand seals I recognise as genjutsu. The movements are slow and deliberate. He clearly wants me to know what he's doing, probably to jump at me the second I try to dispel it. Still, I form the release seal and channel a pulse of chakra.
"Katsu!" Indeed he tries to rush me, but there's a wet sound, kind of like a watermelon bursting, as soon as I finish channeling, and his body falls to the ground sans a good piece of his torso. "What makes me think I can take you? Just the explosive tag I slipped on you when you touched me. Nothing else."
Three hours later I leave the forest, my late teammates sealed in scrolls and seven cooling Iwa-nin corpses left behind. Okay, maybe not cooling, because I set their camp on fire, but you get what I mean. And no, I made sure the fire wouldn't spread, I don't need to be caught causing forest fires on top of everything else.
I let out a sigh. It should've been an easy thing. Inside and out, and the broken corpses of my enemies as the only witness of our mission. Well, my mission. Which means there would've been two other witnesses, but they'd be on my side and I kinda needed their positive verdict to become a chunin, so yeah.
Case is, as capable as the Iwa-nin were to kill two fresh and naive genin and their probably bored out of his mind jounin in a surprise ambush, they turned out to be quite incompetent when they were the ones being anbushed. The only reason I took so long was because I have to seed the place with hints pointing at Kumo, without being so obvious it would look like someone was trying to frame Kumo. That takes a while
Really, had things gone as they should, it would've taken me longer to say my goodbyes back in the Village than actually executing them. And I only get along with what, four people? Knowing then what I know now, I could've fucking walked into their camp and slit their throats in their sleep. Or seeded the underground with explosive tags and send them back to Iwa in bite-sized chunks with a single boom.
Once tempers cooled down and I examined the facts, I realized my 'examiners' were most likely under orders to subtly sabotage me, so I would have to take the exam anyway. I overreacted big time there, and there's nothing I can do now about it save for the three D: Deny, deny, deny. The Iwa-nin got the drop on us, Mister Bleeding Heart took a kunai for me, Cool Guy got exploded with a strange jutsu from a bitch I swear was part of the Explosion Corps.
I pinky promise, Boss Dude, they were friggin' heroes! They saved my life! I wouldn't have been able to accomplish the mission without them, I'll remember their nam— nicknames forever!
...I would even feel guilty about everything if I wasn't fighting for my life here. Taking the exam with Team Deader Meat was death a sentence.
Oh, who am I kidding, I'm more pissed off about drawing the wrong conclusions than anything else.
Stupid Shimada blood.
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