Part Twenty-Five: Through the Looking Glass
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Snek is a Good Boy
Part Twenty-Five: Through the Looking Glass
[A/N: This chapter commissioned by Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]
The Next Morning
Lady Photon
"Hey!" Crystal protested. "No flying ahead! I thought you didn't even want to go!"
"I never said I didn't want to go." Eric rolled his eyes as he slowed down a little. "I just thought everyone else was jumping on the bandwagon way too fast, so you needed an adult in the room."
"Did you find one?" Crystal jibed. "Because I know you're not talking about yourself."
"Well, I sure wasn't talking about you!"
"Now, now," Sarah interceded. "No fighting, kids, or I will turn this family around."
"Listen to your mom." Neil was reclining on a force-field sofa next to Sarah inside her travelling bubble. "We'll be representing New Wave. Vicky and Amy have already given them a good impression. We don't want to turn that sour."
Like the rest of them, he was in casual clothing instead of his costume, wearing what Sarah privately called 'lumberjack chic'; rugged boots, jeans and a plaid flannel shirt, all tailored to fit his seven-foot frame. Sarah hadn't worn skirts since New Wave had unmasked, but she was equally comfortable in slacks and a matching blouse. The kids were wearing jeans and T-shirts, though Crystal was also wearing a denim jacket.
"Yes, Dad. Sorry." Eric dropped back to fly alongside the bubble. A moment later, Crystal echoed his words and moved to fly on the other side.
"Hey, it's not me you've got to say sorry to," he reminded them.
"Sorry, Mom."
"Sorry, Mom."
"That's okay." Sarah gave them both a medium Mom Look to make sure they knew they weren't totally off the hook. "But your dad is right. We all need to be on our best behaviour today. I, for one, don't want to be banned from Snek's world because someone offended his Master. Okay?"
"And that wins the prize for 'sentences I never thought I would hear spoken out loud'," Neil murmured with a smirk.
"Oh, shush, you." But Sarah's mock-severe tone was spoiled by her own grin. "It's a different world to what it was six months ago."
"It's amazing what changes one giant talking snake can bring about," he agreed. "Especially one who's not shy about eating the bad guys. Or the Endbringers."
"I'll say." She chuckled out loud. "Has anyone heard anything about Behemoth since Leviathan? Or even since the day before yesterday?" Since Snek ate the Simurgh like a cat chowing down on a particularly irritating canary, she didn't have to add.
"Not that I know of." His chuckle echoed hers. "And from the way Snek's already said he likes spicy food, there's probably a good reason for that. I'd be keeping my head down, too."
She was still laughing as they swooped down toward the Dallon house.
Glory Girl
It turned out that Twilight liked toast almost as much as she enjoyed bacon. The cute little dragonet flew lazy circles around the kitchen while crunching on the freshly buttered treat; Vicky grinned as she made more.
"Are you trying to bribe my hearth-dragon with toast?" Amy asked as she sat at the breakfast table, eating her bacon and eggs. Her own plate of toast sat beside her.
Both of them were trying to avoid listening to the argument filtering down from upstairs, with moderate success.
"Nope, just advertising." Vicky swiped butter across another slice of toast. "If Twilight goes back to the others and tells 'em about how good we treat her, maybe more of them will be interested in bonding with us."
Amy snorted with amusement and shook her head. "I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way."
"You don't know that." Vicky tried to pretend she was being serious and failed badly, letting out a giggle. "Or maybe I just love spoiling her."
"Well, that's a given. Everyone loves spoiling hearth-dragons, and they love it too, don't you?" Amy picked up a smallish strip of bacon from her plate and waved it temptingly, and Twilight predictably altered her flight path to land on the table. With a chirp of thanks (Vicky was picking up on the shades of meaning in her vocalisations) she accepted it and rubbed the side of her head against Amy's hand.
"Heh, yeah." Vicky tilted her head slightly. "Have you noticed how she doesn't just steal food? She waits for it to be offered first."
"They're smart like that," Amy confirmed. "They know that if they just take it, the free food will go away. But I'm pretty sure they eat mice and rats too, and they don't have to worry about asking first with them."
"So hearth-dragons are smart, cute and helpful around the home." Vicky nodded thoughtfully. "I can see how they got the name." She raised her head at a knock on the door. "Whoops, it sounds like the others are here."
"I'll get it." Amy stood up from the table and headed for the door. When she was halfway there, Twilight landed on her shoulder, still eating the bacon. Vicky smirked; those two were just so adorable together.
Predictably, it was indeed the Pelhams on the other side of the door. Although Vicky couldn't see from where she was, she heard Crystal cooing once more over Twilight, and the hearth-dragon chirping a happy greeting. They all filed inside, Crystal now holding Twilight, which also didn't surprise Vicky. Even when bonded, hearth-dragons were gregarious as hell.
"Good morning," Aunt Sarah announced when she got to the dining room. She eyed the table, which still held breakfast, and raised an eyebrow. "Off to a late start?"
Vicky sighed and lowered her voice. "Mom and Dad are arguing over something. Ames and me just came down and got our own breakfasts in the end."
"I see." Sarah took a deep breath and raised her voice. "Carol! Mark! We're here!"
By the time Carol and Mark came downstairs, Twilight was perched on Uncle Neil's shoulder, apparently enjoying the view from that altitude, while Amy was finishing her breakfast. It was immediately obvious what the argument had been about: Mark was casually dressed in trousers and a button-down shirt, but Carol was in her New Wave costume. Vicky met Amy's eyes, and they both shook their heads at the same time. Not getting involved in this.
Instead, Vicky carried her toast over to the table and sat down before offering another piece to Twilight, which was promptly accepted. The little dragon certainly loved her toast.
"Carol," Sarah began carefully. "You appear to be in costume. Are you not coming with us?"
"Yes, I'm coming." Carol's words were curt. "Someone needs to represent the team."
Sarah frowned. "You are aware, nobody in that world even knows New Wave exists, right?"
Amy raised a cautious finger. "The Master of the Castle does, and so does Riley. Nobody else, though."
"And I doubt very much that even they really care, correct?" Uncle Neil waited for Amy's nod. "Yeah, thought so. It'd be like if we threw a party for the neighbourhood kids and a bunch of them were worried about wearing their Protectorate Pals Fan Club decoder rings. We wouldn't even notice."
"Still," Carol insisted stiffly, "it's the principle of the thing. We're going to be representing Earth Bet's superheroes on a whole new world, and we need to make the best possible impression. Show them that we're dedicated to the task of keeping people safe."
"Vicky already showed them that, when she helped Snek with Mouse Protector and the Simurgh," Sarah countered. "We should be visiting as friendly neighbours, not as superheroes trying to show them that we're more heroic than they are. Besides, from what Vicky and Amy have said, the world outside the Master's castle is more medieval fantasy than modern day. They probably don't even have the concept of a costumed superhero in their culture."
"Should we be going then?" Carol frowned. "If we show off unusual abilities …"
Vicky had had enough. "Mom, seriously? If we do that, then what? They'll try to burn us as witches? Worship us as gods? They know about magic! Dragons are a thing! Hearth-dragons like Twilight are seen as good luck! Riley basically said that Ames could make a good living there as a healer, if she wanted to! We told you all this already!"
"Have you seen this for yourself, or are you relying on hearsay?" Carol shook her head. "I'm not saying this Riley is lying or deliberately misleading you, but you can't always believe everything you hear, and not everyone has your best interests at heart."
"Which is why we're all going," Sarah interjected. "I doubt it's a paradise by any stretch of the imagination, but they've never claimed it is. Plus, I always wanted to visit Narnia when I was a kid."
"And I'd be astonished if they had anything like Endbringers, or even the White Witch," Neil added. "Considering how Snek likes to eat monsters alive."
"Fine," huffed Carol. "But I'm still wearing the costume."
Sarah put her hands up. "You know what? I don't care. Were you going to eat anything before we got Snek's attention?"
"I could eat," admitted Mark.
"Bacon and eggs on the stove, and I made toast," Vicky said helpfully. "Then let's get this show on the road."
"Heck yeah!" enthused Crystal. "Let's do this thing!"
A Little Later, On a Rooftop
Panacea
"So, how do we do this again?" asked Crystal. "It's not like we can call Snek on the cell-phone he doesn't own … or does he?"
"He doesn't need one," Vicky said, with all the confidence of someone who'd done something exactly once, but gotten it right on that one occasion. "All we have to do is ask him to help us get there."
"What, like some sort of prayer?" Carol was looking dubious again.
"Hah, no." Vicky cleared her throat and raised her voice slightly. "Hey, Snek. It's me, Gold Princess Girl. You picked me and Frizzy Hair Girl up yesterday, and we went and flew with dragons. Can you ask your Master if it's okay for me and my family to visit?"
Amy had to hand it to Vicky; she'd gotten through the whole thing with a straight face, despite Eric suffering a sudden coughing fit, and Aunt Sarah trading raised-eyebrow looks with Uncle Neil. Crystal patted Eric on the back, her own expression that of amused disbelief, and Mark looked like he was hiding a smile. Carol just seemed to be waiting for someone to explain the joke to her.
The familiar portal, about six feet in diameter, appeared before them, with a stone floor and walls beyond. Then Snek slithered into view, putting his head and about ten feet of body through the portal. His scales were scorched and marked, and the hat was missing a tiny piece out of its brim, but he seemed to be his usual cheerful self. "Hello, gold princcesss girl, frizzy hair girl, hearth-dragon Twilight!" As he spoke, he raised his head about six feet off the ground and eyed the rest of the group first with one gold-fringed eye then with the other. "Ssnek iss Ssnek."
"Hi, Snek!" Crystal stepped forward and gave him a hug, which he seemed to enjoy. "It's really good to meet you at last. I'm Crystal, and that's my little brother Eric, and my mom and dad Sarah and Neil, and that's my uncle Mark, and my aunt Carol."
Snek's smile widened. "Ssnek likess meeting new friendss. Hello, Crysstal and blue hair boy. Hello, happy blonde lady and angry blonde lady. Hello, tall Neil and sshort Mark. Iss good to meet you all. Masster hass ssaid you can vissit."
Amy put her hand over her mouth so she wouldn't giggle too loudly. Perched on her shoulder, Twilight let out a tiny rarr of amusement. She had to admit, Snek was right on target with his chosen nicknames, especially 'angry blonde lady'.
"Well, okay, then." Vicky sounded like she wanted to laugh too, but she was managing to hold it in through sheer willpower. "It's good to see you too, Snek." Reaching up, she booped him on the nose.
His smile, wide enough as it was, got bigger before he wriggled backward through the portal, leaving it clear for use. Vicky ducked through first, followed by Crystal. Amy went next, Twilight in her arms.
When they were all through (Neil having to duck his head, and Carol stepping through last) the portal vanished, leaving them standing in a familiar-looking corridor. "Thiss way," Snek advised, turning and wriggling back the way he had come.
"Uh, Snek," Amy ventured. "What happened to you? You look like you've been through a real fight." He hadn't shown this much battle damage even after the Leviathan takedown.
"Ssnek hass been fighting Faccelesss Minionss from the Outer Darknesss," Snek explained. "They attacked the Casstle."
"Faceless Minions?" Eric didn't sound thrilled, and Amy didn't blame him. The name sounded kinda ominous. "What are they?"
Snek briefly turned his head, and Amy saw him licking his non-existent lips. "Delicciouss."
Eric's eyes widened. "Kinda sorry I asked, now," he muttered.
Vicky grinned and nudged his shoulder with hers. "That's Snek, right there. Cuddly, playful, fun, and will totally eat the bad guy whole."
When Snek reached the end of the corridor, he bumped the door there three times with his nose. Amy was pretty sure he was counting under his breath.
"Enter, Snek." The voice of the Master of the Castle was audible to them all. "And please bring your guests."
"Wait, he knows we're here?" asked Crystal in a low tone.
"Assume he knows everything about everything," Vicky advised her. "And seriously, nobody do anything stupid. This guy is the realest deal you're ever gonna meet." The door opened and Snek slithered in; Amy and Vicky followed on, with the others close behind them.
Amy looked around, the Master's laboratory still as awe-inspiring as it had been yesterday. Though there were a few minor differences; she saw four more monster cores on the shelf, and tables were set up with odd things on them. The first was a creature, bipedal but decidedly nonhuman, that was in the process of being autopsied or dissected, she couldn't tell which. And the second was a huge tentacle, easily thirty feet long, laid out over several tables.
Turning away from the tentacle, with brass-bound goggles over her eyes and heavy gloves on her hands, was Riley. The Master of the Castle stood next to her, his staff standing unsupported next to him.
Riley smiled broadly and put down what looked like a brass probe. "Hey!" she said happily. "You're back! And you brought the rest of your team, cool!"
"Greetings, New Wave," the Master said politely. "You are welcome in my Castle. Amelia, Victoria, welcome back. It seems that Twilight made a wise choice."
"Uh, thank you." Amy hugged the hearth-dragon a little more tightly, then let her wriggle free and take flight. "We don't want to get in your way or anything here."
"You will not." It was a firm pronouncement. "I understand that you would like to introduce your family to the Dragonmark. They are out for their morning flight at the moment, but they will be back in a little over an hour. If you wish to visit the village below in the meantime, I can provide appropriate clothing."
"What's wrong with what we're wearing right now?" asked Carol, though her challenging tone wilted somewhat under the Master's steady gaze.
"Nothing whatsoever." Amy could have sworn she saw a twinkle in his eye. "However, I believe you would prefer to blend in. Such a costume is usually worn by street performers and acrobats, and would draw attention from people expecting a show." He nodded toward Neil and the others. "Your attire will not be seen as entirely unusual, merely that of travellers from a distant land."
Twilight had by this time flown up and joined the other hearth-dragons in the upper part of the room, and they were exchanging excited squawks and chirps. Amy could feel the little dragon's happiness at seeing her kin again, though she also seemed to be smug about having such an interesting human partner.
Crystal was also looking up, her lips slightly parted. "Whoooaaa …" Even Eric seemed spellbound.
"Yeah, I know, right?" Vicky murmured. "And it gets better. In here, they're on their best behaviour. Outside is where they really get playful."
Aunt Sarah cleared her throat. "Carol, I think we'll take the Master of the Castle up on his generous offer." She paused. "Uh, sir, will we be expected to wear big floofy dresses … I mean …"
"Not unless that is your desire." The Master of the Castle gave Riley a measured nod. "Kindly show each of our guests to a dressing chamber, if you will."
"Sure thing, boss." Riley paused and held up her heavy gloves, which Amy saw were stained with odd fluids, possibly from the tentacle she'd been examining. She muttered something under her breath and a rainbow swirl of light ran over the gloves, sparkling here and there as the stains burned away. Then she tugged the gloves off one at a time and pushed her goggles up. "Okay, let's go do this."
Twilight swooped down out of the flock and landed on Amy's outstretched arm as they headed for the doors. Taking the lead, Vicky moved up alongside Riley. "So, uh, what did you just do then? I thought you couldn't cast magic?"
"Oh, the gloves are enchanted," Riley said casually. "I just gave the command phrase for them to clean themselves. You don't want to get that stuff on your bare skin. In fact, you don't want to be too close to one of those things without the proper mystical protections in place." Reaching up, she tapped the goggles.
"Why not?" asked Sarah. "What was that tentacle off, a giant squid or something? And what was the other thing? A Case Fifty-Three?"
"Haha, nope." Riley reached up as she opened the door, and slapped the door-frame. "Hit the frame here when you come through." She stepped through the doorway … and vanished.
"Um." Vicky glanced at Amy, then slapped the doorframe and stepped through. Just as Riley had, she disappeared.
"What … what's going on here?" demanded Carol. "Where did she go?"
Amy took a deep breath, and Twilight chirped encouragingly. She slapped the same spot on the doorframe as Vicky had, and stepped through the doorway … into a long corridor that hadn't been there a second ago. There was no sensation of movement, no disorientation. Just a feeling that she'd blinked and missed something. Vicky and Riley were standing just a few steps away, Vicky looking at her expectantly.
"Huh," she said, moving forward to get out of the way, then looking back at the perfectly normal doorway that she'd just stepped out of. "That's a really good trick."
"Saves time getting around, for sure," agreed Riley.
Sarah stepped out of the doorway. There was no flickering, no blurring; one instant she wasn't there, the next she was. She blinked and looked around. "That's the smoothest teleport I've ever been through."
Amy had never been teleported before, except via Snek's portals, but she had to agree; it was very smooth.
Carol appeared next, a glowing blade in her hand. When she saw them waiting patiently for her, some of the tension left her shoulders. "Oh," she said.
"Mom, seriously?" Vicky shook her head. "This is the Master's Castle. It's basically the safest place around. Nobody's going to attack us here."
"You don't know that." But the blade shrank and then vanished altogether.
One by one, the others came through, looking around with wonder. Neil shook his head. "How many sets of stairs did we just skip?"
"A few." Riley smirked. "So, as I was saying, that was the very end-tip of a tentacle from a Tyrant of the Outer Darkness. They try to push into ordinary three-dimensional spacetime occasionally, but the boss has set things up so the easiest place to come through is right above the Castle. This time he got a sample, which means the next time they won't even get this close. But physics is so different in the Outer Darkness that you can literally go insane if you look too closely or actually touch them without protection."
That statement left an extremely thoughtful silence in its wake, until Vicky decided it would probably be a good idea to change the subject. Anything would be better than dwelling on the fact that they were sharing a castle with the remains of Things Man Was Not Meant to Know.
"Is it just me," she ventured, "or did the windows look different? And the stuffed dragon …?"
"Oh, all that came down when the tentacle punched in through the roof," Riley confirmed. "But the boss fixed it after he killed the Tyrants. They were fifty years planning this incursion, and he just took out the ringleaders. It'll be a lot longer before they come back again."
"I counted four extra cores," Amy said cautiously. "Was that how many there were?"
"Five, actually." Riley shrugged. "But one was a duplicate, so he gave it to Snek to eat." She looked around at the team, then gestured along the corridor. "Okay, everyone's here. Pick a room. Clothes will be in the wardrobe. Come on out when you're done."
Aunt Sarah opened the closest door and went inside. One by one, Amy's teammates selected a room, but she lingered for a moment. "The thing on the table. What was that?"
"The Faceless Minion?" Riley waited for Amy's tentative nod. "Yeah, the Tyrants generate those by the thousand. Snek had a good time nomming down on them, but the boss wanted a sample from them as well, so he had Snek let one get past. They've got an organ that kind of acts like their brain and heart and liver all at once, so I performed some non-elective field surgery on it. Now we're taking the rest of it apart to see how it works. The boss is all over the magic stuff, but I can provide insights into anatomy and biology that he finds useful." She grinned at Amy. "So yeah, that's my life now. It's hella fun."
Amy's head was spinning with the ramifications of what Riley was saying, but she couldn't even begin to start delving into the details. "It, uh, certainly sounds interesting. But where did you learn to do surgery? You can't be more than twelve or thirteen."
Riley raised a finger. "That's a 'later' question. Right now, I'd say you need to go get dressed if you don't want to be holding everyone else up."
As full of questions as she might be, Amy could take a hint. "Okay, thanks."
Glory Girl
"Okay, I give up." Crystal, wearing a Robin-Hood-esque outfit in green and gold, shook her head as she stared at her father. "Where did you find that?"
Uncle Neil shrugged as he looked down at the fur-trimmed vest and trousers with the heavy boots. The short-handled double-bladed axe slung across his back merely served to complete the image. "They were in the wardrobe? I'm just impressed they had anything in my size."
Vicky, in leather armour with a buckler (she'd considered the chainmail bikini but decided in the end not to give her mother an aneurysm), shook her head and grinned. "You look like you're getting ready to make Conan look like a wimp."
Sarah, who had picked a set of hard-wearing leathers with goggles similar to the ones Riley had been wearing, gave her husband an approving up-and-down. "He certainly does, doesn't he?"
"Mom!" Crystal protested. "Ew!"
"Dad should wear that going up against the bad guys," Eric quipped, straightening the chainmail vest he was wearing. "They'd surrender straight away."
"And would that be such a bad thing?" Steering away from the flashier clothing Vicky had seen in her own wardrobe, Amy had chosen a set of robes that were not dissimilar to her Panacea costume. However, these were in Twilight's colours and came with a vicious-looking dagger on the belt.
"I can't see it being a problem." Mark stepped out of his room, looking downright dashing in something a nobleman might wear, complete with rapier at his waist. "I think we could all do with the bad guys just giving up without a fight."
"Wow, Dad," Vicky said, raising an eyebrow. "Way to rock the Middle Ages."
"Wait," Amy said, looking around. "Where's Carol?"
The last door opened, and Vicky's mother emerged. To Vicky's quiet amusement, she'd managed to colour-match with Mark almost perfectly, while still choosing a practical dress rather than a 'floofy' gown as described by Aunt Sarah. "Nobody laugh," she muttered. "I'm only doing this because you talked me into it."
"Why would we laugh, Aunt Carol?" Crystal gestured at the group now assembled in the corridor. "Look at us. We rock!"
"Heck yeah, you do." Riley emerged from the same doorway they'd teleported in by. "Nice choices. They look good on you."
"I know I'm probably going to regret asking this," Neil said. "But how the hell do those wardrobes work? I just kept on swiping left, and it kept on bringing out new outfits, all in my size. Do you regularly have seven-foot guys staying here?"
Riley grinned. "You might be surprised. But no, those wardrobes are set up to generate clothing according to the needs and tastes of the people staying in those rooms, based around a range of templates. Compared to what else goes on around here, it's a very minor enchantment." She dusted her hands off. "So, who's ready to come see the village?"
Vicky would always be unsure who spoke first as she and Crystal stepped forward.
"Me!"
End of Part Twenty-Five
Part Twenty-Five: Through the Looking Glass
[A/N: This chapter commissioned by Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]
The Next Morning
Lady Photon
"Hey!" Crystal protested. "No flying ahead! I thought you didn't even want to go!"
"I never said I didn't want to go." Eric rolled his eyes as he slowed down a little. "I just thought everyone else was jumping on the bandwagon way too fast, so you needed an adult in the room."
"Did you find one?" Crystal jibed. "Because I know you're not talking about yourself."
"Well, I sure wasn't talking about you!"
"Now, now," Sarah interceded. "No fighting, kids, or I will turn this family around."
"Listen to your mom." Neil was reclining on a force-field sofa next to Sarah inside her travelling bubble. "We'll be representing New Wave. Vicky and Amy have already given them a good impression. We don't want to turn that sour."
Like the rest of them, he was in casual clothing instead of his costume, wearing what Sarah privately called 'lumberjack chic'; rugged boots, jeans and a plaid flannel shirt, all tailored to fit his seven-foot frame. Sarah hadn't worn skirts since New Wave had unmasked, but she was equally comfortable in slacks and a matching blouse. The kids were wearing jeans and T-shirts, though Crystal was also wearing a denim jacket.
"Yes, Dad. Sorry." Eric dropped back to fly alongside the bubble. A moment later, Crystal echoed his words and moved to fly on the other side.
"Hey, it's not me you've got to say sorry to," he reminded them.
"Sorry, Mom."
"Sorry, Mom."
"That's okay." Sarah gave them both a medium Mom Look to make sure they knew they weren't totally off the hook. "But your dad is right. We all need to be on our best behaviour today. I, for one, don't want to be banned from Snek's world because someone offended his Master. Okay?"
"And that wins the prize for 'sentences I never thought I would hear spoken out loud'," Neil murmured with a smirk.
"Oh, shush, you." But Sarah's mock-severe tone was spoiled by her own grin. "It's a different world to what it was six months ago."
"It's amazing what changes one giant talking snake can bring about," he agreed. "Especially one who's not shy about eating the bad guys. Or the Endbringers."
"I'll say." She chuckled out loud. "Has anyone heard anything about Behemoth since Leviathan? Or even since the day before yesterday?" Since Snek ate the Simurgh like a cat chowing down on a particularly irritating canary, she didn't have to add.
"Not that I know of." His chuckle echoed hers. "And from the way Snek's already said he likes spicy food, there's probably a good reason for that. I'd be keeping my head down, too."
She was still laughing as they swooped down toward the Dallon house.
<><>
Glory Girl
It turned out that Twilight liked toast almost as much as she enjoyed bacon. The cute little dragonet flew lazy circles around the kitchen while crunching on the freshly buttered treat; Vicky grinned as she made more.
"Are you trying to bribe my hearth-dragon with toast?" Amy asked as she sat at the breakfast table, eating her bacon and eggs. Her own plate of toast sat beside her.
Both of them were trying to avoid listening to the argument filtering down from upstairs, with moderate success.
"Nope, just advertising." Vicky swiped butter across another slice of toast. "If Twilight goes back to the others and tells 'em about how good we treat her, maybe more of them will be interested in bonding with us."
Amy snorted with amusement and shook her head. "I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way."
"You don't know that." Vicky tried to pretend she was being serious and failed badly, letting out a giggle. "Or maybe I just love spoiling her."
"Well, that's a given. Everyone loves spoiling hearth-dragons, and they love it too, don't you?" Amy picked up a smallish strip of bacon from her plate and waved it temptingly, and Twilight predictably altered her flight path to land on the table. With a chirp of thanks (Vicky was picking up on the shades of meaning in her vocalisations) she accepted it and rubbed the side of her head against Amy's hand.
"Heh, yeah." Vicky tilted her head slightly. "Have you noticed how she doesn't just steal food? She waits for it to be offered first."
"They're smart like that," Amy confirmed. "They know that if they just take it, the free food will go away. But I'm pretty sure they eat mice and rats too, and they don't have to worry about asking first with them."
"So hearth-dragons are smart, cute and helpful around the home." Vicky nodded thoughtfully. "I can see how they got the name." She raised her head at a knock on the door. "Whoops, it sounds like the others are here."
"I'll get it." Amy stood up from the table and headed for the door. When she was halfway there, Twilight landed on her shoulder, still eating the bacon. Vicky smirked; those two were just so adorable together.
Predictably, it was indeed the Pelhams on the other side of the door. Although Vicky couldn't see from where she was, she heard Crystal cooing once more over Twilight, and the hearth-dragon chirping a happy greeting. They all filed inside, Crystal now holding Twilight, which also didn't surprise Vicky. Even when bonded, hearth-dragons were gregarious as hell.
"Good morning," Aunt Sarah announced when she got to the dining room. She eyed the table, which still held breakfast, and raised an eyebrow. "Off to a late start?"
Vicky sighed and lowered her voice. "Mom and Dad are arguing over something. Ames and me just came down and got our own breakfasts in the end."
"I see." Sarah took a deep breath and raised her voice. "Carol! Mark! We're here!"
By the time Carol and Mark came downstairs, Twilight was perched on Uncle Neil's shoulder, apparently enjoying the view from that altitude, while Amy was finishing her breakfast. It was immediately obvious what the argument had been about: Mark was casually dressed in trousers and a button-down shirt, but Carol was in her New Wave costume. Vicky met Amy's eyes, and they both shook their heads at the same time. Not getting involved in this.
Instead, Vicky carried her toast over to the table and sat down before offering another piece to Twilight, which was promptly accepted. The little dragon certainly loved her toast.
"Carol," Sarah began carefully. "You appear to be in costume. Are you not coming with us?"
"Yes, I'm coming." Carol's words were curt. "Someone needs to represent the team."
Sarah frowned. "You are aware, nobody in that world even knows New Wave exists, right?"
Amy raised a cautious finger. "The Master of the Castle does, and so does Riley. Nobody else, though."
"And I doubt very much that even they really care, correct?" Uncle Neil waited for Amy's nod. "Yeah, thought so. It'd be like if we threw a party for the neighbourhood kids and a bunch of them were worried about wearing their Protectorate Pals Fan Club decoder rings. We wouldn't even notice."
"Still," Carol insisted stiffly, "it's the principle of the thing. We're going to be representing Earth Bet's superheroes on a whole new world, and we need to make the best possible impression. Show them that we're dedicated to the task of keeping people safe."
"Vicky already showed them that, when she helped Snek with Mouse Protector and the Simurgh," Sarah countered. "We should be visiting as friendly neighbours, not as superheroes trying to show them that we're more heroic than they are. Besides, from what Vicky and Amy have said, the world outside the Master's castle is more medieval fantasy than modern day. They probably don't even have the concept of a costumed superhero in their culture."
"Should we be going then?" Carol frowned. "If we show off unusual abilities …"
Vicky had had enough. "Mom, seriously? If we do that, then what? They'll try to burn us as witches? Worship us as gods? They know about magic! Dragons are a thing! Hearth-dragons like Twilight are seen as good luck! Riley basically said that Ames could make a good living there as a healer, if she wanted to! We told you all this already!"
"Have you seen this for yourself, or are you relying on hearsay?" Carol shook her head. "I'm not saying this Riley is lying or deliberately misleading you, but you can't always believe everything you hear, and not everyone has your best interests at heart."
"Which is why we're all going," Sarah interjected. "I doubt it's a paradise by any stretch of the imagination, but they've never claimed it is. Plus, I always wanted to visit Narnia when I was a kid."
"And I'd be astonished if they had anything like Endbringers, or even the White Witch," Neil added. "Considering how Snek likes to eat monsters alive."
"Fine," huffed Carol. "But I'm still wearing the costume."
Sarah put her hands up. "You know what? I don't care. Were you going to eat anything before we got Snek's attention?"
"I could eat," admitted Mark.
"Bacon and eggs on the stove, and I made toast," Vicky said helpfully. "Then let's get this show on the road."
"Heck yeah!" enthused Crystal. "Let's do this thing!"
<><>
A Little Later, On a Rooftop
Panacea
"So, how do we do this again?" asked Crystal. "It's not like we can call Snek on the cell-phone he doesn't own … or does he?"
"He doesn't need one," Vicky said, with all the confidence of someone who'd done something exactly once, but gotten it right on that one occasion. "All we have to do is ask him to help us get there."
"What, like some sort of prayer?" Carol was looking dubious again.
"Hah, no." Vicky cleared her throat and raised her voice slightly. "Hey, Snek. It's me, Gold Princess Girl. You picked me and Frizzy Hair Girl up yesterday, and we went and flew with dragons. Can you ask your Master if it's okay for me and my family to visit?"
Amy had to hand it to Vicky; she'd gotten through the whole thing with a straight face, despite Eric suffering a sudden coughing fit, and Aunt Sarah trading raised-eyebrow looks with Uncle Neil. Crystal patted Eric on the back, her own expression that of amused disbelief, and Mark looked like he was hiding a smile. Carol just seemed to be waiting for someone to explain the joke to her.
The familiar portal, about six feet in diameter, appeared before them, with a stone floor and walls beyond. Then Snek slithered into view, putting his head and about ten feet of body through the portal. His scales were scorched and marked, and the hat was missing a tiny piece out of its brim, but he seemed to be his usual cheerful self. "Hello, gold princcesss girl, frizzy hair girl, hearth-dragon Twilight!" As he spoke, he raised his head about six feet off the ground and eyed the rest of the group first with one gold-fringed eye then with the other. "Ssnek iss Ssnek."
"Hi, Snek!" Crystal stepped forward and gave him a hug, which he seemed to enjoy. "It's really good to meet you at last. I'm Crystal, and that's my little brother Eric, and my mom and dad Sarah and Neil, and that's my uncle Mark, and my aunt Carol."
Snek's smile widened. "Ssnek likess meeting new friendss. Hello, Crysstal and blue hair boy. Hello, happy blonde lady and angry blonde lady. Hello, tall Neil and sshort Mark. Iss good to meet you all. Masster hass ssaid you can vissit."
Amy put her hand over her mouth so she wouldn't giggle too loudly. Perched on her shoulder, Twilight let out a tiny rarr of amusement. She had to admit, Snek was right on target with his chosen nicknames, especially 'angry blonde lady'.
"Well, okay, then." Vicky sounded like she wanted to laugh too, but she was managing to hold it in through sheer willpower. "It's good to see you too, Snek." Reaching up, she booped him on the nose.
His smile, wide enough as it was, got bigger before he wriggled backward through the portal, leaving it clear for use. Vicky ducked through first, followed by Crystal. Amy went next, Twilight in her arms.
When they were all through (Neil having to duck his head, and Carol stepping through last) the portal vanished, leaving them standing in a familiar-looking corridor. "Thiss way," Snek advised, turning and wriggling back the way he had come.
"Uh, Snek," Amy ventured. "What happened to you? You look like you've been through a real fight." He hadn't shown this much battle damage even after the Leviathan takedown.
"Ssnek hass been fighting Faccelesss Minionss from the Outer Darknesss," Snek explained. "They attacked the Casstle."
"Faceless Minions?" Eric didn't sound thrilled, and Amy didn't blame him. The name sounded kinda ominous. "What are they?"
Snek briefly turned his head, and Amy saw him licking his non-existent lips. "Delicciouss."
Eric's eyes widened. "Kinda sorry I asked, now," he muttered.
Vicky grinned and nudged his shoulder with hers. "That's Snek, right there. Cuddly, playful, fun, and will totally eat the bad guy whole."
When Snek reached the end of the corridor, he bumped the door there three times with his nose. Amy was pretty sure he was counting under his breath.
"Enter, Snek." The voice of the Master of the Castle was audible to them all. "And please bring your guests."
"Wait, he knows we're here?" asked Crystal in a low tone.
"Assume he knows everything about everything," Vicky advised her. "And seriously, nobody do anything stupid. This guy is the realest deal you're ever gonna meet." The door opened and Snek slithered in; Amy and Vicky followed on, with the others close behind them.
Amy looked around, the Master's laboratory still as awe-inspiring as it had been yesterday. Though there were a few minor differences; she saw four more monster cores on the shelf, and tables were set up with odd things on them. The first was a creature, bipedal but decidedly nonhuman, that was in the process of being autopsied or dissected, she couldn't tell which. And the second was a huge tentacle, easily thirty feet long, laid out over several tables.
Turning away from the tentacle, with brass-bound goggles over her eyes and heavy gloves on her hands, was Riley. The Master of the Castle stood next to her, his staff standing unsupported next to him.
Riley smiled broadly and put down what looked like a brass probe. "Hey!" she said happily. "You're back! And you brought the rest of your team, cool!"
"Greetings, New Wave," the Master said politely. "You are welcome in my Castle. Amelia, Victoria, welcome back. It seems that Twilight made a wise choice."
"Uh, thank you." Amy hugged the hearth-dragon a little more tightly, then let her wriggle free and take flight. "We don't want to get in your way or anything here."
"You will not." It was a firm pronouncement. "I understand that you would like to introduce your family to the Dragonmark. They are out for their morning flight at the moment, but they will be back in a little over an hour. If you wish to visit the village below in the meantime, I can provide appropriate clothing."
"What's wrong with what we're wearing right now?" asked Carol, though her challenging tone wilted somewhat under the Master's steady gaze.
"Nothing whatsoever." Amy could have sworn she saw a twinkle in his eye. "However, I believe you would prefer to blend in. Such a costume is usually worn by street performers and acrobats, and would draw attention from people expecting a show." He nodded toward Neil and the others. "Your attire will not be seen as entirely unusual, merely that of travellers from a distant land."
Twilight had by this time flown up and joined the other hearth-dragons in the upper part of the room, and they were exchanging excited squawks and chirps. Amy could feel the little dragon's happiness at seeing her kin again, though she also seemed to be smug about having such an interesting human partner.
Crystal was also looking up, her lips slightly parted. "Whoooaaa …" Even Eric seemed spellbound.
"Yeah, I know, right?" Vicky murmured. "And it gets better. In here, they're on their best behaviour. Outside is where they really get playful."
Aunt Sarah cleared her throat. "Carol, I think we'll take the Master of the Castle up on his generous offer." She paused. "Uh, sir, will we be expected to wear big floofy dresses … I mean …"
"Not unless that is your desire." The Master of the Castle gave Riley a measured nod. "Kindly show each of our guests to a dressing chamber, if you will."
"Sure thing, boss." Riley paused and held up her heavy gloves, which Amy saw were stained with odd fluids, possibly from the tentacle she'd been examining. She muttered something under her breath and a rainbow swirl of light ran over the gloves, sparkling here and there as the stains burned away. Then she tugged the gloves off one at a time and pushed her goggles up. "Okay, let's go do this."
Twilight swooped down out of the flock and landed on Amy's outstretched arm as they headed for the doors. Taking the lead, Vicky moved up alongside Riley. "So, uh, what did you just do then? I thought you couldn't cast magic?"
"Oh, the gloves are enchanted," Riley said casually. "I just gave the command phrase for them to clean themselves. You don't want to get that stuff on your bare skin. In fact, you don't want to be too close to one of those things without the proper mystical protections in place." Reaching up, she tapped the goggles.
"Why not?" asked Sarah. "What was that tentacle off, a giant squid or something? And what was the other thing? A Case Fifty-Three?"
"Haha, nope." Riley reached up as she opened the door, and slapped the door-frame. "Hit the frame here when you come through." She stepped through the doorway … and vanished.
"Um." Vicky glanced at Amy, then slapped the doorframe and stepped through. Just as Riley had, she disappeared.
"What … what's going on here?" demanded Carol. "Where did she go?"
Amy took a deep breath, and Twilight chirped encouragingly. She slapped the same spot on the doorframe as Vicky had, and stepped through the doorway … into a long corridor that hadn't been there a second ago. There was no sensation of movement, no disorientation. Just a feeling that she'd blinked and missed something. Vicky and Riley were standing just a few steps away, Vicky looking at her expectantly.
"Huh," she said, moving forward to get out of the way, then looking back at the perfectly normal doorway that she'd just stepped out of. "That's a really good trick."
"Saves time getting around, for sure," agreed Riley.
Sarah stepped out of the doorway. There was no flickering, no blurring; one instant she wasn't there, the next she was. She blinked and looked around. "That's the smoothest teleport I've ever been through."
Amy had never been teleported before, except via Snek's portals, but she had to agree; it was very smooth.
Carol appeared next, a glowing blade in her hand. When she saw them waiting patiently for her, some of the tension left her shoulders. "Oh," she said.
"Mom, seriously?" Vicky shook her head. "This is the Master's Castle. It's basically the safest place around. Nobody's going to attack us here."
"You don't know that." But the blade shrank and then vanished altogether.
One by one, the others came through, looking around with wonder. Neil shook his head. "How many sets of stairs did we just skip?"
"A few." Riley smirked. "So, as I was saying, that was the very end-tip of a tentacle from a Tyrant of the Outer Darkness. They try to push into ordinary three-dimensional spacetime occasionally, but the boss has set things up so the easiest place to come through is right above the Castle. This time he got a sample, which means the next time they won't even get this close. But physics is so different in the Outer Darkness that you can literally go insane if you look too closely or actually touch them without protection."
That statement left an extremely thoughtful silence in its wake, until Vicky decided it would probably be a good idea to change the subject. Anything would be better than dwelling on the fact that they were sharing a castle with the remains of Things Man Was Not Meant to Know.
"Is it just me," she ventured, "or did the windows look different? And the stuffed dragon …?"
"Oh, all that came down when the tentacle punched in through the roof," Riley confirmed. "But the boss fixed it after he killed the Tyrants. They were fifty years planning this incursion, and he just took out the ringleaders. It'll be a lot longer before they come back again."
"I counted four extra cores," Amy said cautiously. "Was that how many there were?"
"Five, actually." Riley shrugged. "But one was a duplicate, so he gave it to Snek to eat." She looked around at the team, then gestured along the corridor. "Okay, everyone's here. Pick a room. Clothes will be in the wardrobe. Come on out when you're done."
Aunt Sarah opened the closest door and went inside. One by one, Amy's teammates selected a room, but she lingered for a moment. "The thing on the table. What was that?"
"The Faceless Minion?" Riley waited for Amy's tentative nod. "Yeah, the Tyrants generate those by the thousand. Snek had a good time nomming down on them, but the boss wanted a sample from them as well, so he had Snek let one get past. They've got an organ that kind of acts like their brain and heart and liver all at once, so I performed some non-elective field surgery on it. Now we're taking the rest of it apart to see how it works. The boss is all over the magic stuff, but I can provide insights into anatomy and biology that he finds useful." She grinned at Amy. "So yeah, that's my life now. It's hella fun."
Amy's head was spinning with the ramifications of what Riley was saying, but she couldn't even begin to start delving into the details. "It, uh, certainly sounds interesting. But where did you learn to do surgery? You can't be more than twelve or thirteen."
Riley raised a finger. "That's a 'later' question. Right now, I'd say you need to go get dressed if you don't want to be holding everyone else up."
As full of questions as she might be, Amy could take a hint. "Okay, thanks."
<><>
Glory Girl
"Okay, I give up." Crystal, wearing a Robin-Hood-esque outfit in green and gold, shook her head as she stared at her father. "Where did you find that?"
Uncle Neil shrugged as he looked down at the fur-trimmed vest and trousers with the heavy boots. The short-handled double-bladed axe slung across his back merely served to complete the image. "They were in the wardrobe? I'm just impressed they had anything in my size."
Vicky, in leather armour with a buckler (she'd considered the chainmail bikini but decided in the end not to give her mother an aneurysm), shook her head and grinned. "You look like you're getting ready to make Conan look like a wimp."
Sarah, who had picked a set of hard-wearing leathers with goggles similar to the ones Riley had been wearing, gave her husband an approving up-and-down. "He certainly does, doesn't he?"
"Mom!" Crystal protested. "Ew!"
"Dad should wear that going up against the bad guys," Eric quipped, straightening the chainmail vest he was wearing. "They'd surrender straight away."
"And would that be such a bad thing?" Steering away from the flashier clothing Vicky had seen in her own wardrobe, Amy had chosen a set of robes that were not dissimilar to her Panacea costume. However, these were in Twilight's colours and came with a vicious-looking dagger on the belt.
"I can't see it being a problem." Mark stepped out of his room, looking downright dashing in something a nobleman might wear, complete with rapier at his waist. "I think we could all do with the bad guys just giving up without a fight."
"Wow, Dad," Vicky said, raising an eyebrow. "Way to rock the Middle Ages."
"Wait," Amy said, looking around. "Where's Carol?"
The last door opened, and Vicky's mother emerged. To Vicky's quiet amusement, she'd managed to colour-match with Mark almost perfectly, while still choosing a practical dress rather than a 'floofy' gown as described by Aunt Sarah. "Nobody laugh," she muttered. "I'm only doing this because you talked me into it."
"Why would we laugh, Aunt Carol?" Crystal gestured at the group now assembled in the corridor. "Look at us. We rock!"
"Heck yeah, you do." Riley emerged from the same doorway they'd teleported in by. "Nice choices. They look good on you."
"I know I'm probably going to regret asking this," Neil said. "But how the hell do those wardrobes work? I just kept on swiping left, and it kept on bringing out new outfits, all in my size. Do you regularly have seven-foot guys staying here?"
Riley grinned. "You might be surprised. But no, those wardrobes are set up to generate clothing according to the needs and tastes of the people staying in those rooms, based around a range of templates. Compared to what else goes on around here, it's a very minor enchantment." She dusted her hands off. "So, who's ready to come see the village?"
Vicky would always be unsure who spoke first as she and Crystal stepped forward.
"Me!"
End of Part Twenty-Five
