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The Accidental Liberator (ASOIAF,GOT SI)

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Drowned god,Storm god,old gods,and Others.Who else want control him?
Where are things from Kadath,Stygoi,Leng and yellow Emperor? they should join fun,too!
 
ATP said:
Drowned god,Storm god,old gods,and Others.Who else want control him?
Where are things from Kadath,Stygoi,Leng and yellow Emperor? they should join fun,too!
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I think this is all Rh'llor trying to poison the well for the SI approaching the other gods
 
sigh, i try and be fair to a lot of the things that I read because i know how it is to write and craft a story as Im an author myself but this character is just bad. It took how long before he grew a backbone. He's also failing in basic common sense which is even worse with all that power at his finger tips. Im really trying to give him a chance but you did a 2 year time skip and he's been spinning thumbs this entire time. there is no reason for him to be acting like a cultivator and be in all that seclusion nor should his new nation be in such a bad position where slavers are chewing it out from the insides.

This isn't shaping into a good story. You might need to review things, but I know you have a vision. I'll stick around for a few more chapters. Your idea was good, but the execution needs some work. There is far too much dream sequence. It makes the character less than with how he acts.
 
Mage King said:
cowardness
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Cowardice. I agree. The story started out strong and had an interesting hook. But these latest chapters and his idiocy is grating to read. The idiot is willfully ignoring the mass Murdering, Zealot bitch he appointed High Priestess and the mobs she's whipping into purging unbelievers.

Now on top of that shitshow, he's acting like a moping, angst filled teenager and it is infuriating to read.
 
Talk about a let down, revealing his origins already? How naive, good luck I guess.
 
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