Two For One Deal (Welcome To Demon School, Iruma-kun!/SI)

[Leekz01]

Spoiler: Optional Music

No one could tell the future. It was a distant path shrouded by fog and a number of twists and turns. That's what made it so scary for most people.

"That was… a weird day," Iruma hummed. The sound of galloping horses and spinning wheels buzzed in the background. "I think it w-went better than I expected, though."

I rolled my eyes. Better? Really?

"You got in a fight with some noble demon or something," I pointed out. "I have no idea how you managed to choke him out, but things could have gone a lot worse."

He could have died. Those fireballs being thrown at him were as real as he or I.

He winced.

"It's not like I wanted to fight him," he answered with a sigh. "It just sort of ended up like that."

I couldn't stay mad at him about this. Both of us had horrid luck, so I wasn't all that surprised that there had been an incident.

"But did you have to take him back to the nurse?" The guy was a jerkass. Personally, I thought leaving him laying on the ground would have been just fine. He wasn't in any danger of dying, after all.

"H-He looked like he was in pain," Iruma replied. "Besides, It was the right thing to do."

Of course, he'd say that. Even after everything, he was just a bit too trusting and kind.

"Alright," I said with a shrug. "But you really have to tell me how you managed that."

He wasn't like me or the other demons here. Iruma was a normal human boy. How was that even possible?

"I-I'm not too sure," he replied. "I just kind of tripped and ended up locking my legs around his throat."

He scratched his cheek nervously.

"I tried getting up, but that just made it worse."

Hmm. That certainly wasn't normal, but it wasn't like I had any ideas either. For now, I guess it was just dumb luck.

I yawned and nodded. Hopefully, this carriage ride wouldn't take much longer. It was surprising how exhausting the day had been. I hadn't even done anything!

"What about your friend?" Iruma suddenly asked.

Friend? What friend?

I raised a brow questioningly.

"I mean that blond guy- the one with the game," he said nervously. "I think he called himself Shax?"

Ah, right.

"Friend's a bit much," I said with a shrug. "He helped me find you, but that's about it."

We hardly spoke after that. Though, I guess he was alright.

"Heh," Iruma said with a cheeky smile. "He seemed kind of happy to talk to you before we left."

I rolled my eyes. Sure, I hadn't been paying much attention, but he was exaggerating. I'd pulled us out of there as soon as I could so that pompous rich kid didn't come back for round two.

"Do… do you think we could make friends?"

I blinked. What sort of question was that, Iruma?

"They're demons," I pointed out.

"But-" he started, only to bite his lip and stop himself. I wasn't the brightest bulb, but even I could read the room. "Some of them seemed… nice. Like that Shax guy."

I wanted to shut down his silly ideas, but I didn't. Iruma could see the best in people, and that was a gift I didn't want to take away from him. It made keeping him safe incredibly difficult, but it also left an obvious question.

Would Iruma still be the same, kind of person who helped me out? Did I really want to change him so much?

…

The answer was a resounding no. I could suffer a bit of annoyance if it meant keeping Iruma mostly the same. All he really needed was a bit more sense and he'd be fine.

He could be the good cop while I'd be his bad cop. That was how we'd been before and nothing would change now.

"Who knows," I replied. "Just try to be careful and call me If anyone starts something. I'll sort them out."

That was my purpose, after all. I'd keep him safe as a big brother would.

Iruma blinked and then nodded with a bright, goofy grin.

"Kay," he said.

I yawned and turned my gaze away from him. The skies were blood red and dark, pregnant clouds were rumbling up above.

I missed the blue skies of home.

—————————

Sullivan was an enigma and I hadn't known him for very long, but he continued to surprise me. It was all rather creepy, to be honest. Was he trying to one-up himself every time he "showed" us his "love?"

We arrived home to him having prepared a bit of a "grandson shower" as he called it.

"And this for the two of you!" Sullivan exclaimed as he gave us some new, spiffy-looking clothes. "These are enhanced with magic to keep you nice and safe!" He said and pointed to Iruma's clothes. It looked like his normal school uniform.

If what he was saying was true, then I was more than grateful. It still didn't change my mind about him, though.

"And this is yours, Lee-ke~" he said with a sugary smile as he held out a red scarf. "Go ahead, try it on!"

…

I had to admit, It did look pretty badass. It was probably as long as I was tall, though a few turns around my neck were enough to make it manageable.

"You can shrink it and expand it at will! Also, it's sort of alive, so treat it nicely, ok?"

Wait, wha-

The scarf coiled around my neck tightly. I coughed as it wrapped around my face.

The damned thing was trying to suffocate me!

"I think it likes you!" Sullivan exclaimed.

Like?! This thing was in the middle of trying to murder me! Or so I thought. It loosened its grip and then stretched itself out, giving me more than enough room to breathe.

I turned and found the blasted scarf just floating in the air around me. It was still wrapped around my neck, but there it was.

If I had my way, I'd burn it down with this damned house and lock Sullivan inside.

"Play nice and it'll listen to what you want," the demonic old bastard said. "You look so cool! Quick! The two of you stand next to each other so I can take a picture of my lovely grandsons!"

God… he was too much.

As if reacting to my thoughts, the scarf lashed out and snatched the camera out of Sullivan's hand.

"What? No! Give it back!' the dastardly demon whined as he rushed forward and tried to get his camera back. Each time he did, the scarf moved away just far enough to stop him.

Huh. Maybe the two of us could get along after all.

Sullivan did eventually get his camera back, but that didn't really matter.

Hopefully, tomorrow would be a better day.

———————————

I'd expected many things when I woke up, but there were just some things no one could ever plan for.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I growled out, eyes trying to melt a hole in the pompous demon's face.

He stood tall and proud. His crimson eyes gazed deeply into my own and then snapped toward Iruma. My brother stiffened under his gaze, taking a step back and hiding behind me. Was he here to pick a fight?

"I'll let you know I won't be nearly as merciful as my brother." I didn't think I could punch explosions away, but the pretty boy was close enough that it didn't matter. I was sure my fist would reach his face before he could hold his hand up.

The boy sucked in a breath and then did something unexpected. He got on one knee and held out his hand toward Iruma.

"I'm not here to cause conflict," he exclaimed with a serious expression. "Iruma-kun has bested me in fair combat."

Oh… then was he here to apologize? Maybe he wasn't as much of an ass as I thought.

"As is tradition, I am his to do with as he pleases!" He got back up and stared at Iruma with a wide grin. "Please let me serve you, my lord!"

And then he tried to tackle him with a hug. Of course, there was no way I'd let that happen. My foot "gently" slammed into his face and I pushed him away.

"Did you get brain damage or something?" I asked with wide eyes. What other reason was there? Maybe he was trying to get revenge? But why go through all this trouble?

"It matters not!" the boy continued. "My solid defeat at his hands showed me how little I really knew." He shook his head and bit his lip. "To judge others by their appearance was foolish beyond measure! Please, let me serve you so I may better myself!"

He stepped forward and gently cupped Iruma's hand.

"With me at your side, we can rule the school! I promise to bring you up as the brightest star in all the realm!"

…

Maybe he wasn't all pish and posh after all. He was just another crazy idiot. Actually, was this a normal thing with Demons? Were they all this weird?

Iruma turned to me for an answer.

"I'd say kick him loose," I started. "He could be lying, but don't take my word for it. This is a choice you have to make yourself."

I didn't want to get involved with such a crazy person. Oh, I'd kick his ass if he tried anything, but in the end, this really was Iruma's decision. I admit that it made me happy that I was the first thing he thought about, but that wasn't a healthy mindset.

Iruma closed his eyes and nodded.

"A-Alright, you can be my friend if that's what you want."

The strange boy's eyes shot open.

"A f-friend? Excellent!" he shouted gleefully. "I, Asmodeus Alice shall be your faithful servant from here on out!"

We hadn't even made it to school and the day was already starting on a crazy note.

"Actually, how did you even get here?" I asked hesitantly.

Asmodeus grinned from ear to ear.

"My family has many connections! It was simple enough to find out the headmaster's address and then run on over!"

Creepy…

"Wait, run?" Iruma asked. He turned and looked around the entrance to the mansion. Aside from our carriage, there was nothing else around. "As in… literally run here?"

The crazy guy nodded enthusiastically.

"For you, I'd do it all over again!"

Wasn't this what they called a stalker?

…

I'd have to keep an eye on this one.

—————————

The carriage was a bit full on the way to school, but Iruma refused to just let the stalker walk. That guy was a real chatterbox, but I'd be lying if he wasn't useful. He spoke about all sorts of things, including what the school had planned for today.

"We'll be summoning our familiars, I believe. But before that, we'll have a quick group activity."

It sounded like a bunch of unnecessary work. Anyways, after a bunch of annoying talk, we eventually arrived at the school. A number of awed gasps and hushed whispers greeted us as we walked out of the carriage and toward the school. One particular student shivered and ran away as my eyes met his.

"Hey! Morning, Lee!" a familiar voice called out. It was Shax. His eyes instantly jumped to Iruma then to Alice.

"Are the two of them going to fight again?"

I didn't get a chance to speak. Alice answered first.

"That will not be happening again," he said with a shake of his head. "I will be on Iruma's side from here on out! Let all know that anyone that dares stand in his way will have to deal with Asmodeus Alice!"

This guy was really dramatic.

Shax blinked and then blew a whistle.

"Wow. You literally beat him onto submission," he said with a chuckle. "Lee, you're brother's really cool."

For once, I didn't have anything bad to say. I chuckled and gave the strange boy a smile.

"Yeah, he is."

"Come, Iruma-sama! I'll tell you all about the intricacies of summoning a familiar!" Asmodeus prattled on as the two continued to walk. It was surprising, but they were becoming quick friends.

I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

"By the way, do you know a weird girl with green hair?"

Hmm?

"No?" I shot back with a frown. "Why?"

Shax shrugged.

"One was asking If I knew you. Anyways, forget about that. Let's go."

I blinked as he gave my back a pat and started walking after Iruma and Alice.

Yeah. Demons were definitely weird.

 

[SebazuD]

"Wait, run?" Iruma asked. He turned and looked around the entrance to the mansion. Aside from our carriage, there was nothing else around. "As in… literally run here?"

The crazy guy nodded enthusiastically.

"For you, I'd do it all over again!"

Wasn't this what they called a stalker?

Click to shrink...

Wouldn't he fly over?

"Come, Iruma-kun! I'll tell you all about the intricacies of summoning a familiar!" Asmodeus prattled on as the two continued to walk. It was surprising, but they were becoming quick friends.

Click to shrink...

Shouldnt that be Iruma-sama?

 

[Leekz01]

Spoiler: Optional Music

Demons and humans were completely different creatures, but the longer I saw the latter, the less that difference seemed to matter.

Dozens of students mingled with one another around us. Iruma stuck to me like gum, eyes taking in the rather large room.

"This is one of the school's many spacious classrooms, Iruma-Sama." that pretty boy, Alice explained. "I believe we'll be taught something simple like summoning here. I know you shouldn't have any problem with that!"

Iruma chuckled nervously and nodded.

"Y-Yeah..."

I didn't really care so much about all that crap. But Iruma? Iruma was actually listening to the guy.

Beside me, Shax rolled his eyes and pulled out his gaming console. I had to admit, that little portable thing did catch my eye. The only time I ever got a chance to play games like that was back when Iruma found some loose change.

It was about half an hour of fun at the arcade, but I did like it.

"What are you playing?" I asked while keeping Iruma in my sight.

"Huh? Oh! It's one of those games where you can gather villains and stuff. You can pay some money to make rolling easier."

…

What? What kind of game was that? The ones I remembered were simple fighting games or that other one where shooting monsters was a thing.

"Never heard of it?" he asked.

I shook my head and took a quick peek at his screen. There were all sorts of monsters. A few were clearly girls, but others had extra limbs and eyes. Demons, I realized.

"It's a bit of a gamble if you get something good, but that's what makes it fun," he said with a little laugh. "Honestly, sometimes it's more fun to see what I get than actually playing the missions."

I could confidently say that I did not understand what he meant by that.

"Here, I have enough for a tenner. Why don't you roll for good luck?"

"I have no idea what you're even talking about." Tenner? Rolling? It didn't look like any kind of dice game I'd ever seen.

"Eh, don't worry too much. Just tap this button here."

"…"

Alright. I reached out and gently pressed my finger against the big button. Dozens of flashing lights filled the screen. There were blue, purple, and gold lights.

When all was said and done, a bunch of different portraits were dumped on the screen.

"Oh, man! You've got some good luck!" he roared with a grin. "I'd let you roll for me more, but then that just takes the fun away, you know?"

No. I didn't know. Still, did he think I was lucky?

I guess it depended on how I looked at my life. To be honest, I would like to think I was lucky.

"I-"

The doors were flung open, shutting up just about everyone in the room. All eyes turned toward the entrance where a well-dressed man walked in.

His sharp, angled features and tall stature left quite an imposing impression. The man's violet hair was combed back into a very stiff, if somewhat stylish cut. Like just about everything else, his eyes were pointed and razor-sharp.

Though, was he wearing eyeliner? Was this one of those demon things I didn't get?

He took a good look at everyone and then scoffed. This was our teacher, I guessed. He folded his hands behind his back and slowly walked forward toward the from of the classroom.

"Naberius Kalego," he said coldly. "I'm in charge of you all for this event, so don't do anything stupid."

He pulled out a black book from seemingly thin air and quickly flipped through its pages.

"If anyone makes a joke about my face then I'll throw you out with the other trash that fails this simple task."

No fun allowed, huh? He looked like that kind of guy to me.

As he went on talking about random crap, his eyes eventually landed on Iruma.

"Don't expect that I'll go easy on any of you, especially useless brats that rely on their grandfather's position." He hissed and tried to get into Iruma's face.

Tried being the word. I held out a hand against his chest. It was less of a threat and more of a warning. I wasn't going to do anything, but if he did, then I'd make sure he regretted it.

Curiously enough, Alice also stepped up a bit. He wasn't so much worried as he was excited. What? Did he expect Iruma to knock this guy out?

…

Heh. That actually would have been great to see. Maybe I could start giving my little brother some basic lessons in punching? He was probably going to need it if we were going to stay here for a while.

Anyways, this teacher could probably kick my ass. If the teachers here were anything like Sullivan and his freaky cat butter, then I probably wouldn't stand a chance. That didn't mean I was just going to lie down, though. I'd punch him in the face, even if it was with my shattered bones.

He turned to me and scoffed.

"People that can't even get in without leeching off their family's reputation deserved to be expelled," he said and moved back toward the front of the class. "Remember this well- no amount of connections is going to save you in the middle of a fight."

He was an ass, but he did make a good point. Like the crooked cops back home, I could still punch them out so long as they didn't call for backup. All that mattered in a fight was what you as a person could bring to the table then and there.

"Now, let's start with your lesson."

He reached into that book of his and pulled out a slip of paper.

"You will all be summoning familiars today."

Hushed whispers spread through the room. A familiar? Weren't those the cute cats or crows witches had in cartoons? It didn't seem very demon-like, but maybe that was the point.

"Pay attention, because I'm only going to explain this once."

Yeah, yeah. I was getting tired of his raspy voice. Iruma was looking at him pretty intently, but he'd furrowed his brow. I knew what that mean. He was whipping up one of his weird plans.

I covered a yawn and turned my attention to something else. Maybe I could try and use my wings in some sort of flying drop kick? That sounded like something super fun and cool to try out. I really needed to practice my flying more. Also, magic was a thingl. If I was a demon, that meant I could do some of that, right?

…

Damn it. Was I going to have to ask that old bastard for help? My only other choice was Alice, but I didn't know who would be worse…

"And that's about it. Anyone that fails to summon a familiar will be expelled."

Oh. Right.

The teacher went around the room, handing out those weird slips of paper. I blinked and took it when it was my turn.

Ah shit. No, this was fine.

Shax was nowhere to be seen, so- no, wait. He was talking to some girl over there. Great.

That left only one other person.

"Hey, Alice, mind giving me a quick rundown of how we do this crap?" I asked reluctantly.

The regal demon turned away from Iruma and looked at me.

"Of course, Lee-Sama," he said with a small bow. "It's actually rather simple."

I shuddered. That… didn't feel right at all. Iruma probably wasn't saying anything to be nice, but I couldn't suffer that crap.

"I told you to just call me Lee," I grumbled. This guy was all kinds of fishy, but he was at least looking out for Iruma now. "And, actually, I have something else to ask you."

Something was bothering me since we left our new "home", but I only realized what it was just now.

He blinked and smiled.

"What is it?"

Ugh… I wasn't used to such genuine smiles. Was this guy for real? It was creepy as hell!

"You said you ran to our home, right? But, like, couldn't you just fly there?"

He blinked.

"Oh… I guess you're right," he said with a nervous smile. A blush crawled across his cheeks and he coughed. "I might have let my emotions get the better of me and… forgot."

Yep. Total basket case. Well, at least that made it less likely that he was actually dangerous. Still, Sullivan was a thing. I'd have to keep a very close eye on this guy.

"Right…"

Whatever. It was time to get this stupid summoning thing done and over with.

I wonder what Iruma's going to summon.

—————————————

Giant snakes, floating eyeballs, a big wolf. I was a bit surprised by the crazy creatures these guys pulled out of their asses. Heck, there was this one guy covered from head to toe in hair that summoned up some sort of flying bat with scissors for hands.

I couldn't make this shit up.

Was this some kind of universal prank? Sure, there were some cool-looking ones, but how was a mouse made of smoke going to help?

"You're up," Iruma whispered.

Right. I sucked in a breath and took my place in front of the class. The large, intricate glyph on the ground looked pretty cool. I had to admit that.

I held out my slip of paper and focused.

Honestly? I'd be fine with anything, but summoning nothing at all would be fine too. The less I had to take care of it, the better.

I wasn't very good with pets. The few I'd had before didn't last very long or always got into trouble because of me.

Yes. Something simple and sturdy would be best.

The paper shined a brilliant blue that reminded me of the sky back home. The light grew until it swallowed everything in sight.

And then-

"Dood…"

I stared, baffled by the creature standing in the middle of the glyph. It looked like some sort of… blue penguin? I guess most would call it "cute," but it was just plain weird. Wait, were those sticks that it had for legs? Honestly, it looked like the thing was a plushy, but that couldn't be true.

I reached out and punched the thing's cheek. That was definitely some sort of skin. Its flabby, stubby arms grabbed mine and it let out a whine.

"T-That hurts, dood!"

Ah. It could talk. Wait, it could talk? None of the other familiars I'd seen could actually talk.

Oh no. It could talk.

That meant it could talk shit.

"What are you?" I asked, glancing at our teacher for some sort of recognition. Nope. Like me, he was lost as to what this thing was.

"Wait, what is that?"

"Did it just talk?"

"Is it some sort of rare monster?"

"It has cute little wings!"

"I'm kind of jealous!"

The blue penguin tilted its head.

"Hmm. No idea, dood!" It exclaimed with a cheerful little spin. Huh. Maybe it could dance? "I'm me, dood! Not sure what I am or how I got here, but I know I'm supposed to serve you, dood!"

That wasn't suspicion. Not at all.

"Kindly move so the others can have a chance to summon their familiars," Kalego growled out. He was practically steaming as he glared at my penguin.

The monster blinked and then looked at Kalego and then back to me.

"What crawled up his ass, dood?"

I held back a laugh. Maybe this little guy wasn't so bad after all! Kalego didn't share my opinion, though. He basically ripped the book he'd been holding in half. If looks could kill then I'd have been smashed to a thick paste.

"Don't worry about it," I said with a laugh and picked the little guy up. The shit-eating grin on my face probably didn't make Kalego any happier.

It was weird, sure, but It also had a pretty good sense of humor. Hopefully, Iruma could-

"Ah…" I was so full of it that I missed a step. My new buddy slipped out of my hands and tumbled through the air, smashing into Kalego's face with a soft squeak.

And then it promptly exploded.

Shit...

This was why I couldn't have pets.

 

[Banh bao]

Woo Prinny boom for the win XD

 

[Garbage_Truck]

So I'm lost, is the penguin a normal demonic oc penguin or is it from some series. because I think there was a meme of a super powerful detective penguin out there and I'm not sure if this is the case or not (I also clarify the meme was very old and I don't even remember that it was just that a hyper powerful penguin came out)

 

[Capitalist DeeDeeDee]

I read the penguin's lines with a stereotypical Italian voice and had a nice giggle.

 

[Nuthenry2]

So I'm lost, is the penguin a normal demonic oc penguin or is it from some series. because I think there was a meme of a super powerful detective penguin out there and I'm not sure if this is the case or not (I also clarify the meme was very old and I don't even remember that it was just that a hyper powerful penguin came out)

Click to shrink...

i thinks its a Prinny from the disgaea franchise
https://disgaea.fandom.com/wiki/Prinny

 

[pingas plight]

It is, in fact, a prinny. At least visually.

 

[InfiniteChaosRai]

My question is how strong these booms are

 

[Reou]

My question is how strong these booms are

Click to shrink...

Depends on the prinny. Standard prinny explosion damage is equal to half of the prinny's remaining hp and ignores defense. Fortunately, it is cheap and easy to revive a prinny.

 

[Leekz01]

Spoiler: Optional Music

The world had a sick sense of humor at times. At least that was what I thought.

"You ok?" I asked, hesitantly looking at the blue penguin sitting next to my feet. Well, he wasn't really "blue," so much as a toasty brown. There were still bits of dust and smoke clinging to his sleek fur. I could even see that his stubby peg legs were still charred from the explosion.

"Am ok, dood!" he exclaimed and gave a small salute. "I guess I blow up when I'm thrown? Try not to do that again, dood!"

Yeah. That was an idea. He'd practically burned off that teacher's eyebrows with that explosion. How he didn't take off his head was beyond me. Maybe it was just a thing with demons? They were a lot more durable than normal people for sure. Thankfully most of them weren't super fast.

"Can you come back every time?" I asked, passing a wet cloth across his beak. The black grime and soot were washed away, revealing his golden beak again. Even I could tell coming back after exploding wasn't exactly a "normal" ability.

"I think so, dood!" he answered. "Just takes a while!"

So I had an immortal penguin? Or did that only happen when he blew himself up? I wasn't in much of a hurry to see if he could revive after being gutted or something.

"And I thought demons were weird," I whispered and finished cleaning the rest of him. At least I thought this thing was male.

"I've got no idea, dood," it answered. "But I think I'd like to be one. Sounds cool, you know!"

Wait… could it read my mind?

"Huh! Looks like it, dood! That's super cool!!"

I didn't think so. Could it turn that off?

"Don't be so stingy, dood! You've got all sorts of cool stuff in there!"

Yeah. No.

"I'd suggest you stop it soon before my foot gets intimately connected with your ass."

I reached out and gave his head a gentle, playful smack. There was a bit of aggression there, though. I didn't like anyone digging around in my head. Either it stopped or I'd send it back wherever it came from.

"Ok, dood... Why do you have to be such a killjoy?"

…

Right. Whatever. I had more important things to worry about now.

"What's all that noise about?" I grumbled and stood back up. Come to think of it, where was that damned teacher?

"Holy shit!"

"Did he seriously summon Kaoego-sensei!"

"How the hell does that work?!"

The teacher? What the heck were they talking about?

I walked closer and saw Iruma holding some sort of flying pigeon. No, it looked more like a fat, fluffy owl? Actually, I had no idea what it was.

The students did, though.

"That's never happened before!"

"He forced our teacher into a contract and turned him into something small and cute!"

"He's so badass!"

…

God damn it, Iruma. How did that even work?!

"Dood… that's pretty nuts, don't ya think?" my "familiar," said. "I mean, I have no idea bout this summoning stuff, but I'm sure summoning your own teacher isn't normal anywhere."

I shook my head. This whole place wasn't normal. Hopefully, this wouldn't bring more trouble down on our heads.

——————————

As it turned out, familiar contracts couldn't be canceled until a year after they'd been forged.

"You'll die!" That bastard, Sullivan said with a grin. A part of me wondered if it was just bullshit he'd made up to mess with Iruma and that crusty teacher. Frankly, none of us were willing to test it out.

Rumors quickly spread around the school about a "student who dominated a teacher into being his familiar." I'd be laughing if it wasn't so damned sad. All this did was put more and more expectations on Iruma. When the time came for him to actually show off his "strength," he'd be up shit's creek without a damned paddle. Not even shoveling the shit with his hands would work.

"A-Are you sure I have to do this?" he asked me as the two of us stood in front of Sullivan's mansion. The grass was green, prickly, and perfect for some exercise.

"Yeah, unless you want to get your face kicked in by some stupid demon," I sighed. "I'm not exactly an expert on martial arts or anything, but I can at least give you a refresher on how to throw a punch."

He'd never been too enthusiastic to learn before. I doubted he'd even remembered what little I did try to teach him back then. But to be fair, that was probably for the best. I was a pretty big dumb-ass as a kid. Nothing like I am now.

"Ok, I get that, but I don't think I can punch a boulder in half…"

What?

"Of course, you can!" I huffed. "Look, just keep punching until your fists are strong enough to start cracking the roc-"

"…"

"Ah. I see your point."

That wasn't normal. Iruma wasn't me. He'd probably break his hand before so much as chipping the rock!

"Dood… I thought that was a joke!" the damned penguin said. I snapped my head around to him. The bugger was sitting in one of those fold-up chairs people found on the beach. He had a drink in one hand and an orange in the other.

"He's a human, right? Human's break super easy!" Then there was that. He'd only read my mind for a little bit but that had been more than enough to reveal that little secret.

"It's fine," I waved off. "Even if you can't punch rocks apart it'll still be a good idea to learn how to fight."

To be honest, I wasn't expecting Iruma to win anything. As long as he could distract them for a second or two then I could try and get to him.

"I'm still going to be the one protecting you, but that'll be easier if you can use those crazy dodging skills of yours a bit better. Maybe throw in a punch or two."

He gulped and gave me a nod.

"Alright, Lee. I trust you."

Gah! It felt like a knife had just stabbed me in the heart. Maybe I could make things a little bit easier for him?

…

No. This was something more important than my feelings or Iruma's respect. He had to at least try to improve himself now. That little scuffle with his groupie showed that I couldn't be around him all the time.

"You can do it, dood!" the penguin cheered. "Go Irma! You can do it, Irma!"

"U-Umm, my name's Iruma!" Iruma shot back.

"Oh! Sorry, dood! Go, go, Iruna!"

Sometimes I wondered if we were in some sort of sitcom.

It felt like our lives were the kind of things others would laugh at.

———————————

"Good morning, Iruma-sama," Alice greeted us the next day. He was by our front gate just waiting for us to leave.

"Is this going to become a thing?" I asked him with a yawn. "You going to come to meet us every morning?"

A brilliant smile split the pretty boy's face.

"Good morning to you too, Lee-Sama," he said and took a bow. I shuddered.

"Seriously, stop calling me that. Lee's fine." That formal stuff was plain weird. Made me sick to my stomach if I was honest.

"Very well," he said with a nod and practically teleported next to Iruma.

"He's a real weirdo, dood…" the penguin whispered as he stuck to my shadow. Right. I was going to have to carry him everywhere now, wasn't I?

"Tell me about it," I said with a sigh and followed the two into our carriage. Wasn't there some sort of spell to teleport my familiar to me? I had to go check up on that. Magic was bitching.

I didn't pay too much attention to Iruma and Alice's conversation as we headed to school. The rolling hills, mountains, and cliffs were more interesting. Sometimes I'd even find two giant bird monsters fighting each other. That was always a fun treat. The life of a giant monster bird was unforgiving here. I could respect that.

"Say, have you named your familiar yet?" Alice asked, pulling my attention away from the sky.

A name? Hmm. No, I hadn't thought of that.

"Doesn't feel like I should give him one unless he asks," I answered with a shrug. "Feels a bit pompous, you know?"

The blue penguin blinked.

"Dood… I have the best boss ever!" he cheered and tackled me to the back of my seat. "Not sure why, but I feel like I seriously dodge a bullet being summed here! You're the coolest, boss!"

Son of a-

"Fine, fine! Just get off me!"

—————————

"Why not, dood!"

I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose.

"Cause, 'ass-kicker,' is a shitty name. Pick something less stupid, ok?"

He hummed.

"What about kickass? Kickasser?"

Seriously?

"You know what. Call yourself whatever you want, but if it's something stupid then I'm going to keep calling you, 'penguin' or 'blue.'"

His eyes snapped open.

"That's it! Penguin! I think I want to be called Prinny! Or Hans, both work!"

They didn't even have anything to do with one another!

"Hans it is," I said as fast as I could. "Now let's drop this topic and catch up with the others."

We'd spent way too long on this crap. Iruma and Alice had already disappeared into the school.

"Gotcha, dood!"

—————————

"Umm… are we lost? I think we're lost, dood!"

No.

"We're not lost," I huffed. "We're just not where we want to be."

Why did the school have to be such a damned maze?

"Maybe we can ask that girl over there, dood?" Hans said. I followed his stubby appendage toward a shade of green hair. I could swear that I'd seen her before.

"She looks like the perfect sort of girl the protagonist picks up as a sidekick, dood! And you know what that means? She probably knows the way to him!"

…

What?

Stupid bullshit aside, she was the only one here. I could jump into one of the random classes, but that would probably get me in trouble.

She was standing behind one of the buildings, fiddling with something in her pockets.

"Might as well," I said with a grumble and approached her, stopping right behind her. It was surprising that she didn't notice me. Actually, she looked like she was in a pretty sour mood. Maybe it was a bad idea to talk to her at all.

I never got the chance to change my mind. She spun around and smashed into my chest, falling on her ass a moment later.

"Oweee…" she squeaked and then looked up at me and I at her. Those wide, green eyes of here were full of surprise and a bit of panic. They were innocent and pure, not unlike Iruma's.

Either way, I was like, twice her size. Scaring her silly probably wasn't a good start to the conversation.

"Sorry," I said and backed up, raising my hands in surrender. Demons were different, but I didn't know if the girls here acted the same. They'd scream really loud back home and that had to be the most annoying sound I'd ever heard in my short life.

She blinked and then slowly stood up, wiping her face.

"No problem!" the girl exclaimed and rushed up to me. "Hey, do you need something?!"

Huh.

"Actually-"

"Cause I have a bunch of games! Like, do you want a drink? Maybe I can get you something to eat after we play? Huh? Huh?!"

…

Another weirdo.

"See, I have all this cool stuff! Like this sword that shoots magic balls, we can bounce around with these electric rackets! If that's too much, how about this rope that slaps you if you don't tell it a funny joke? It spits out treats if you make it laugh!"

The little gremlin just wouldn't shut up. She was like a boundless ball of energy and sound. I'd normally get sick of excited chipmunks like these in a second, but something about her just didn't feel right.

She was staring at me, but her eyes had this glazed-over look to them. They weren't the same, innocent sheen of green I'd seen a moment ago. Right now they were the eyes of someone hungrily seeking another's attention. They were the same eyes I had back when I barely knew Iruma.

It was just plain pitiful.

"Look, can you be quiet for a second?" I said and held a hand in front of her face. That shut her up real quick.

"I'm looking for my class, so I don't have time to play." Her bright smile froze and lost what little luster it did have. She still kept a stupid grin on her face, though.

"Oh, ok! That's fine!"

No, it wasn't. I wanted to punch myself for even thinking of giving a demon a helping hand. But what would he do? Sometimes all it took was giving someone the time of day to cheer them up.

…

"Look, I don't have time to play but you can hang out with me if you have nothing better to do. Just help me find-"

"Kay!" she snapped and grabbed by hand. "I'll take you there no problemo!"

And then she started dragging me away.

I hadn't even told her where my class was.

This was a mistake, wasn't it?

=====

A.N: Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays

 

[Banh bao]

Man waiting for the prinny squad summon. If that's gana be a thing

 

[InfiniteChaosRai]

What an amazing Christmas present

 

[pingas plight]

If that's gana be a thing

Click to shrink...

Power Rangers Mystic Force kazoo cover starts playing
That one dude who tried to kill the school with fireworks: What the he-

?!?: Red Tuna Prinny Ranger, dood!
??!: Pink Salmon Prinny Ranger, dood!
!?!: Black Eel Prinny Ranger, dood!
???: Blue Mackerel Prinny Ranger, dood!
!!!: Silver Sardine Prinny Ranger, dood!
…: …And Infernal Leviathan Prinny Ranger, dood!
Iruma: …Lee? Is that you? Why did you say "dood" too?
…: I have no idea, it was non-consensual.
!!!: Now you're really feeling the Prinny Spirit!

 

[Leekz01]

Demons, humans. Were they really that different?

I sat, legs crossed and mind wandering to the days of yesteryear. There was a good book in one hand and a small cup of tea in the other. Was there any better way to pass the time?

"Hey! Hey! What do you think?!" An excited voice called out. I tore my eyes away from the book and found a familiar face staring at me. That smooth, bald head. That fluffy, gray mustache.

"Lord Sullivan?" What ludicrous thing had he come up with this time?

"Look! Look! It has a button you can press that sounds an alarm!"

I stared, face stiff as stone. Those were… whistles? They looked like something mothers might give to their children if they feared that they might get kidnapped.

"Do you think they'll like them?"

I sighed.

"I'm sure they'll love the gift," I said with a nod. "Iruma would happily take it, though Lee… he'd be hesitant."

"Cute Iruma's like an adorable bunny!" Sullivan admired with an enthusiastic nod. "And Lee- he's so independent and cool! I must be the luckiest grandfather to have caught them both!"

I hesitated. Was it really my right to question his choices? On one hand, there was the human boy. Why risk so much just to adopt one?

As for Lee, he was an unknown. A demon from the human world. How had he managed to survive so long? Exactly what was his heritage? Was he part of the "great banishing" you'd scarcely heard anything about? He was as much of a mystery as Iruma.

"You could have adopted any demon in our world," I said, eventually giving in to my curiosity. Maybe I'd have been able to hold it in if it was just one, but this was too much. "Why choose them?"

The goofy grin on his face vanished. The loving, affectioned "grandfather" died then and there. In his place was a cold, calculating demon. It was a rare sight and one neither of those boys had truly witnessed.

And it vanished in a second. A sincerer, tired look crossed his features. It was as real as every other side of himself he liked to show.

"Those two are special," he spoke. "I left and find young Iruma, but Lee… he was a welcomed surprise."

Oh? So he hadn't expected him? Interesting.

"But let's forget about that~" he suddenly cheered. "You have to help pick what kind of underwear they might like more!"

I shut my eyes and sucked in a breath. He hadn't been this lively in years. I guess it didn't matter whether or not he'd done the right thing.

As long as he was happy, then that was fine with me.

"Have you thought about asking them their opinion?" I said.

"Of course not!" Sullivan huffed. "That kind of beats the purpose of a surprise, you know!"

…

Well, I couldn't fault that logic.

"I think the checkered ones might suit Lee more," I pointed out. "As for Iruma… he might like the ones with the cute bunnies."

No- wait… there was potential here.

"Actually, flip those around."

My lip twitched upward.

"Lee might have a secret soft spot for cute things."

Sullivan's eyes sparked with understanding.

"That makes perfect sense! I'll have to get him a giant plushy too!"

Yes. If nothing else, then the future promised to be an amusing one.

 

[Leekz01]

Spoiler: Optional Music

The school continued to be a maze. It was just hallway after hallway and they all looked the same. How the demons could go through it without getting lost was a mystery!

…

Also, was it just me or were we getting dirty looks? No, not dirty, but pitying?

"So you have a brother?" the young demon girl walking beside me asked. "Is he as tall and cool as you!"

Tall? Cool? Maybe she wasn't so bad.

"Iruma's the coolest," I said with a nod. "He can look a bit meek and wimpy, but there's no one more dependable than him."

"Does he like games?" the girl asked. "Think he'd like to play tick tack boom?"

…

Were all demons this weird? Alice went from an ass to a massive suck-up. Our familiar summoning instructor was moonlighting as Iruma's pet owl. And, of course, the old geezer who brought both of us here was the devil but also acted like a child.

Yeah, that checked out.

"I'm sure he'd be happy to play whatever, Clair."

Her eyes went wide for a moment and she smiled.

"It's Clara! Valac Clara!"

Right…

"Sorry," I said with a sigh. "Kinda bad with those."

Hmm.

"Mind If I call you Val or something?"

"Wha- Clara isn't a long na-" she bit her tongue. "I-I mean, sure!"

Huh.

"You sure?" I asked. "I mean, I like to give people nicknames, but you seemed pretty upset a moment ago."

"I'm perfectly fine!" she said with a cheerful grin. "Hey, hey! We're almost there, come on!"

Girls were so strange and demon girls were probably even more so.

Whatever. If she was fine with Val, then Val it would be.

"Dood… you're so clueless, boss!"

My brow twitched and I reached down, lifting the damned penguin.

"What exactly am I clueless about?"

The little guy started sweating buckets. He fidgeted and refused to look me in the eye.

"I don't know, dood! Try and figure these things out on your own, dood!"

…

Worthless.

"Don't look at me like that, dood! I'm just living my life as best I can, dood!"

Ugh…

"Is something wrong?" the green-haired girl called out. She rushed back to my side like some sort of road runner. There was even a small cloud behind her. "Are you nervous about classes? Don't worry, we have to pick out our student supplies first!"

…

The what?

Shit, was that a thing I was supposed to do? I thought we were headed for classes before I accidentally split from Iruma.

"Come on!"

Without warning, she grabbed my hand and started dragging me away.

Girls were too clingy…

——————

"And here's a snack! Do you want a drink with it too?"

I was wrong. Val was so much weirder than I could have possibly imagined.

"What about some nice finger warmers? So long as I've seen it before, I can bring it out!"

I stopped in my tracks. Wait, what?

"What do you mean you can pull it out?"

She blinked and then stopped. That cheery smile of hers froze.

"Dood… should you be asking stuff like that?"

I stretched out the damned penguin cheeks a bit. It was oddly therapeutic!

"U-Umm… I-I can pull things out I've seen before?" she said again. "Like, not people, but things!"

And then she pulled out a flail from her pockets.

What.

"Are you serious?"

The frozen smile on her face didn't change. It was honestly starting to get on my nerves. If she wanted to say something, then just say it.

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "It's my bloodline's special skill!"

What.

"Ok…"

This girl was terrifying.

"What are the limits on it? Could you pull out magic weapons or something?"

"Oh, umm… sometimes? Maybe when I'm older? But normal stuff I can do as long as I have the energy for it!"

I had to say it again. This girl was absolutely terrifying.

"There are no suitcase nukes here, right?" I had to know. Even someone as uneducated as me knew about those from back home. The stuff coming out of her pockets was too big to fit inside, so who was to say she couldn't pull out a big enough bomb to level the entire school?

If this world had something like a nuke, then I didn't think I could sleep at night- not when there was a teenage demon girl who could just pull one out of her damned pockets!!

"What's that?!" she asked me, eyes dazzling with genuine excitement. "Is it some sort of game?! Or maybe a cool suitcase that shoots arrows?!"

I let out a relieved breath. Good. Maybe this world wasn't as crazy as I thought.

"Dood, something like that would totally break the power scaling!" my little penguin, Hans, said. "You can't give her that until after a long training arc, dood!"

What the hell was he talking about?

"Oh! Your little friend is cute too!" Val said as she pinched his cheeks. "Adorable!"

And then she promptly picked him up.

"Dood! Help! She's trying to kill me, dood!"

"He's so warm too!" she said, squeezing the life out of Hans. For a moment, I swore his eyes bulged out like some cartoon. "This is your familiar, right? I can't believe he can talk!"

"D-Dood! H-Help!"

I sighed and quickly snatched him out of her grip. He could be a bit annoying, but he was my responsibility. Besides, he wasn't that bad.

"Yes," I said with a nod. "Careful handling him. He likes to explode if you throw him."

There. That should at least make her reluctant to-

"Really?!" she asked with a gasp. "Like a kind of explodo doll? I have one of those too!"

When she reached into her pockets, I held out a hand and stopped her.

"You-"

"Lee!" a voice cut through the hallway "There you are!"

Iruma.

"I was looking for you!" he said with a smile. "You really should try and not get lost!"

Seriously? That was my line! Whatever. At least he had Alice looking after him...

"L-Lee-Sama!" the prideful demon gasped. "Don't tell me you've been hanging out with her."

Her?

"Hello!" Val greeted them both with that cheerful grin of hers. "Are you Lee's brother? You're taller than I thought, but still look just as cool!"

"Iruma's the smaller one," I pointed out. "And yeah, Alice. She helped me out."

"We're playmates!" Val added. "Do you want to play too?!"

Alice winced.

"I was afraid of that…" he grumbled and then let out a sigh. "Lee, she's-"

Before he'd even finished his explanation, Val had dragged the lot of us out to one of the courtyards. From what Alice told me, she was a bit of an undesirable. That was to say- she was bothersome to most other students.

She was weird even amongst the weirdo's here. It was kind of sad, but also not so far from home.

"We must break off all contact with her and distance ourselves before she pulls us into some weirdness, Lee-sama."

…

"Nah," I said with a shake of my head. "She's crazy, yeah, but she did help me out. Feels like a dick move to ditch her."

I glanced her way as she and Iruma were playing some weird chess-like game.

"Besides, Iruma seems to be having fun."

Alice sighed.

"I hope you don't grow to regret that decision, Lee-sama…"

I wouldn't.

Two hours later, I definitely was.

How could one girl have so much energy?!

—————————

"Classes? But those don't start till like, the day after tomorrow!"

…

What?

"W-What?" Iruma asked nervously. "B-But I thought that was today!"

Val shook her head.

"We get to pick up our stuff today! Class assignment and our rank won't be decided for a bit!"

So we'd just wasted our time coming here?

"Oh yeah, I think that was it," Iruma said with a nod. "I-I guess I just got so worked up with Lee wanting to start his classes that I forgot…"

"I did not!" I huffed out. "I just wanted to get this over with already!"

It's what I get for not paying attention. Really, why did-

"Oh Clarin~" A smooth, haughty voice called out. "Found yourself new owners, have you~"

I flinched. Owner? Who the hell calls anyone that?

My eyes moved toward the voice and I spotted three students. They looked demonic enough, but nothing compared to the big jackass who tried to interrupt my shit.

Ugh…

"Yup, yup!" Val called out as she hurried over to the boys. "I've been playing with them for hours already!"

So they were her friends? I guess It wasn't that bad then. I'd heard close friends usually called themselves names or whatever. Still, owner? That words pissed me off. If anyone called me that, I'd knock their teeth out and make them eat each one with chopsticks and a side of hot sauce.

The boy and his two friends glanced over to us. There was recognition in their eyes.

"Wait, aren't those the honor students?"

"How the hell did this wast-"

Their leader cut the other boys off.

"That's nice," he said with a smile and held out a hand. Val looked at it curiously and then he made a "come here" motion. "Juice."

Juice?

"Oh! Right!" Val said with that stupid, annoying grin of hers. "Here you go!"

She pulled a juice out of her pockets and handed it over.

"Later," the boy said after picking up a few more bottles for his friends.

And that just left us and Val again.

"He didn't even say thank you…" Iruma whispered. "It wasn't very nice."

Smiling stiffly, Val chuckled childishly.

"It's fine! As long as I give them some stuff, they'll play with me!"

Ah. So that was it.

What a sad girl. I felt sorry for her and somewhat annoyed at the demons.

…

Whatever. It wasn't my problem who she made friends with.

---

Things slowed down a bit and we were all to split up.

"W-Will you all play with me again?" Val sprung the question as we left the courtyard.

What a stupid question.

"S-Sure!" Iruma answered before I could. "I can't say it was normal, but It was also kind of fun!"

She smiled. This time there was no sign of that rough edge to it. She actually looked adorable smiling like that.

I nodded.

"You're one weird demon, but I'd rather be on your good side than not."

Seriously. Her bloodline ability was… pretty nuts. If I was going to be living in this place for a while, then it was a good idea to make allies with people like her.

"Yay!" Val cheered as she pulled out some sort of rope from her pouch. No, wait, was that a-

"I'm a snake rope," the sentient object declared as it pulled all of us toward her. "Snake rope."

"Thank you!"

Was this the fabled "group hug?"

…

I hated it.

———————

The days felt a bit longer down here in the demon world. Maybe it was just me, but going to school every day when we didn't need to felt pretty annoying.

"I-I want to see more of the school, Lee. Alice said there were some places we should get used to, after all."

I sighed.

Seeing Iruma take the initiative was a new experience. I couldn't say no to my little brother when he was like that.

"Also, I think Clara wanted to play some more," he said with a sweet smile.

Oh?

"Does someone have a crush?" I asked, laughing at the idea.

"What? No?" he said in a straight face. "Honestly, she kind of reminds me a little bit of you."

…

Huh? What? How? The two of us were nothing alike!

He giggled.

"Your face looks like a sour plumb, you know!"

My brow twitched. Really? Ugh…

"Whatever," I said with a huff. "So what's the plan?"

Alice cleared his throat.

"I suggest we head for the dining room, have a nice meal, and check our class assignment later today."

He proceeded to pull out some paper from his nice, white suit.

"I've scheduled most of the day, so as long as we follow the itinerary, we should be out by-"

"…"

"Iruma-Sama, where's Lee-sama?"i

"Huh? He's righ-"

"…"

"W-Where did he go?! He was right next to us!"

—————

Ah, shit. I take my eyes off them for one moment and they're gone.

Seriously, Iruma? You really have to work on not getting lost!

"Now… where the hell am I?"

 

[Stivanderen]

Im so glad this updated I love this story.

 

[InfiniteChaosRai]

What is it with super incredible dead stories spontaneously restarting this month? Great chapter, hope things dont die again

 

[Leekz01]

What is it with super incredible dead stories spontaneously restarting this month? Great chapter, hope things dont die again

Click to shrink...

Sorry my bad, was so focused on other stuff for the last few months I totally forgot about this fic. But gonna start back to updating this bi-weekly again.

 

[darconor]

What is it with super incredible dead stories spontaneously restarting this month?

Click to shrink...

Care to chare those revived stories?.

 

[Kloudianorici]

My man got that Zoro DNA, right down to blaming others for his complete lack of direction. Good to see you start this back up, btw, there is a gaping void of good Iruma-kun fics.

 

[InfiniteChaosRai]

Care to chare those revived stories?.

Click to shrink...

Jackie Avocado started posting otome isekai again
Flame rebooted Villainous Ventures
Silver King is starting to become active again posting a GOATihime jjk fic in full today
Multi-Merchant got upped after a 2 month hiatus
and now Desgea-Kun is back

 

[Leekz01]

Spoiler: Optional Music

Another day, another chance for Iruma to make me lose my mind. That boy was like my own flesh and blood, but sometimes he could really get under my skin.

"Iruma, you're so bad with directions…" I sighed and glanced around. "Now, where the hell am I?"

Obviously, I was still in the school. It was a courtyard. Did I somehow find myself back to the one from yesterday? Hmm, no. This one looked different.

"Son of a…"

I brought a hand to my face and sighed.

"Hans?" All it took was a whisper and the blue penguin seemed to appear out of thin air.

"What's up, boss-man, dood?!" he shouted, bringing a hand to his forehead. Was… was he saluting me?

"Mind figuring out how to get back to the front of the school?" In situations like this, I'd always told Iruma to head to the entrance of the building and wait. I would end up finding him sooner or later.

Thankfully, Alice was with him.

We had our differences, but he was dependable enough. Still, I'd have preferred not to leave Iruma alone with a Demon.

"Humans will undoubtedly be ripped apart by the denizens of the underworld."

That old geezer's words still rung deep within my mind. Like hell I'd let anyone touch him.

"Dood? Do you hear me, dood? Are you having another internal monologue, dood? You need to stop with those, dood!"

"You're being obnoxiously loud," I said with a sigh. "What was that you were saying?"

"Finally, dood! Been calling you for a while, dood!"

He swung around and pointed his flipper off into the distance.

"I don't know how to get back, dood, but maybe they know?"

I traced the path he was pointing to and found a trio of Demons chatting amongst themselves. It was right at the edge of the courtyard.

"I guess beggars can't be choosers," I said with a sigh and started walking.

"Ain't that the truth, dood…" Hans said and then crawled toward my pants. "I'm going to take a nap, alright, dood?"

I gave him a nod and watched as he spread one of my pockets open and crawled into it. The scene left a shiver running down my spine. It was unnatural.

"Shit reminds me of a snake crawling down a drain…" I said with a shudder.

Everything in this place was terrifying.

———————

"And so I told him- get your own meal or I'll knock your block off!"

"Hahaha!"

"Not funny. Your jokes are shit."

Three idiots talking shit. Sounded about right. Even the Demon Realm couldn't avoid that stupid stereotype.

"Hey," I called out, grabbing their attention.

"Huh?"

"Oh! Aren't you that honor student?"

"Yeah, good to see you again, bud."

Did they know me?

I raised a brow and stared at them.

"Remember? We met yesterday!"

Let's see. There was a regular-looking one, a lizard-looking demon, and one that looked like the "traditional" depiction of a demon. Fairly generic in my opinion.

"I have no idea who you are."

Still, I did remember running into some people yesterday. That must have been them.

The apparent leader flinched.

"T-That's fine," he said with a laugh and scurried closer. "I see that you don't have that trashy gremlin following you around?"

Gremlin?

"You sure like to hear yourself talk," I said with a sigh. "Got no idea what the hell you're talking about, so mind giving me directions to the front of the school?"

His brow twitched.

"You know. That green-haired dispenser? I know you were only hanging around with her cause of her powers, but there's no need to pretend."

This guy…

"No one would ever give her the time of day, so she has to go around bribing everyone with those powers of hers," he continued with a large grin on his face. "It's pathetic, you know?"

I took a breath and sighed.

"Are you an idiot?" I asked. "When the hell did I ask about her?"

"H-Huh?" he took a step back.

"I asked for directions and you go off on this stupid tangent about someone who isn't even here."

I shook my head.

"Keep your opinions to yourself, man. I don't know who you are and I could care less about what you think."

Personally, Val was fine in my books. She was damned weird but didn't seem like a bad person.

"And unless you have some crazy power like her, I'd steer clear for your sake."

His face turned as red as a tomato. It was hilarious.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" he hissed, even as his cronies tried to surround me. "She's a stupid girl who can pull juice out of her pockets. How the hell is she ever going to hurt me? Are you alright in the head, buddy?"

"I ain't your buddy," I said. "And if that's what you think, then you're even more blind than I thought."

I shook my head.

Idiots.

"You talk a lot of shit for-"

I reached out and shoved two fingers into his open mouth and then pulled down. Hard. He hit the floor a moment later.

"Look, If you ain't going to help, then I've got no business with you."

They'd just been a massive waste of time.

"Don't follow me or you'll kick your asses."

I said and started walking.

Surprisingly, they didn't follow me.

Yeah. That's what I thought.

——————————

The school had to be magic or something. I'd gone past the same hallway at least three times, so that was the only possible answer to that weirdness.

I rubbed my brow and took another right, this time finding myself walking into yet another courtyard. This one was different from the last and I quickly spotted a few familiar faces.

"What the hell do you mean no?!" a certain demon and his friends were cornering Val. Did my tongue-lashing get their panties in a bunch?

They just didn't know when to stop, did they? Either way, Val probably knew the way back. Besides, we were looking for her.

"You… I-I heard everything you said," she whispered. "I knew you didn't like me that much, but I thought…"

"Thought what?" the idiot boy scoffed. "Just give me my damned juice! Or do you want me to stop talking to you?"

He laughed and his friend soon joined in on that.

"Then you'll really be alone," he said quietly. "You're just a weirdo and everyone knows it. We're the only ones who'll give you the time of day, so why don't you face reality?"

Val lowered her gaze.

"So, again. Give. Me. Juice."

I slowly made my way to the trio. Val… she was shaking. Her hands were balled into fists. It was as if I were looking at a volcano about to pop.

For a brief moment, her small form was replaced by a similar figure. A young boy smiled blindly to the world, holding back all the foul thoughts and doubts in his heart.

I sighed.

God damn it.

"I…" Val's voice broke. She let out a quiet whimper and started to slowly reach into her pocket. What she would pull out was something only she knew, but-

My hand landed on her shoulder. She didn't bother looking up and I didn't give her the time to.

"Punch him in the face," I said plainly. "You'll feel a lot better afterward."

She took a sharp breath.

"Ah…"

And then she sent that curled fist flying straight into that idiot demon's face.

"Gah!" he shouted, clutching his nose as he fell on his ass. "Y-You punched me?! You bitch!"

He was back on his feet a moment later.

"I-I've had enough! This is w-what I get for trying to be nice! Let's teach this bitch and her damned sympathizer a lesson!"

Ha! It was about damned time.

"Should have just fucking given me my damned directions," I said and launched myself forward, darting past the leader and straight to one of his friends. My open palm crashed into the boy's face, sending him flying.

Val looked on in shock and uncertainty. She stared down at her hand and then the bloody nose she'd caused.

Still hesitating?

"Well, do you feel better or not?" I ducked as one of the goons tried to kick me in the face. These guys were faster than any human, but still so damned sloppy.

A devilish grin spread across Val's face. She chuckled and then reached into her pocket.

"Yeah…"

In the next instant, she charged forward toward her bully. There was a flash and she'd pulled out an entire damned fridge.

"What the fuc-"

And then promptly smashed the thing onto him. She didn't stop there, though. Next up was a vending machine, which she threw hard enough to send my opponent crashing straight into a wall.

He'd only just gotten up too.

"Hehehe, this is kind of fun!" Val exclaimed as she looked around for the last guy. He'd wisely turned tail and started running.

"Hey! Where are you going?!"

It looked like he was the only smart one out of the group. He kept running and didn't look back.

Great. Maybe I could finally get some god damned directions.

"Lee! There you are!"

…

Are you serious? Are you fucking serious?! I was just about to leave this damned place!

Iruma stopped in his tracks, eyes going wide as he looked around.

"Did you get in another fight?"

"Likely something these ruffians deserved," Alice said with a huff.

Val looked away, a sheepish and guilty look on her face.

That girl was far too bubbly for her own good. There wasn't anything to be ashamed about.

"Yeah, but they had it coming," I said with a shrug. "Also, I found us Val. We were looking for her, right?"

"Oh! That's why you vanished?" Iruma asked with a smile. "I thought you got lost again."

My brow twitched.

"You were… looking for me?" Val asked timidly as she looked up at the lot of us. "W-Why?"

"What do you mean?" Iruma asked, furrowing his brow. "We said we'd play with you today, remember?"

I nodded.

"B-But it…" tears started to build in the corner of her eyes. "But I-I don't… wh-why do you want to play with me?"

Like a dam about to burst, it was clear she was only holding on by a thread.

"I-I'm not good f-for anything but my snacks and toys and-"

"I don't care," Iruma cut her off. "Lee doesn't either, right?"

Val's eyes darted from him to me.

I shrugged.

"Your powers are pretty scary, but If you're worried I'm like them-" I pointed my thumb at the unconscious idiots. "Then I'll let it be known that I don't need your weird crap."

Iruma nodded.

"Honestly, you're a bit energetic at times," he said with a sheepish smile. "And you also go overboard, but it's fun playing with you."

"Eh… r-really?"

He smiled and nodded.

"Right, Lee?"

Why was he putting me on the spot?

Val turned her gaze back to me. It was as if I were looking down at a cute puppy with big, sparkling eyes.

"Like I said, you're weird, but everyone in this damned world is weird," I said with a nod. "Your games are also crazy, but I can tell you're a genuinely friendly person."

She was also pretty vicious.

"And you've got some nice moves too," I said, flashing her a small grin and motioning to the idiots. "I think we'll get along just fine if you still want to be-"

"Friends?!" she cut me off.

Ugh. She really was like a damned dog!

"Sure," I said with a shrug.

"Yeah, friends!" Iruma beamed.

And then she started crying. This girl was a damned fountain! Without hesitation, she pulled us all into one big hug and wailed for the next few minutes.

Those lungs of hers might as well have been deadly weapons too.

At the very least, she was on our side.

 

[Stivanderen]

God I love this fic

 

[EgyptianDio]

Honestly… I was kind of expecting Lee to pull a Baki level beating in the bullies. Guess he does have some restraint.

 

[Leekz01]

Spoiler: Optional Music

======================
Pov: Clara - The Enduring Cactus
======================​

I… I never really had actual friends. Maybe something was just wrong with me, but I was just no good at talking.

"It's ok sweety. Just be yourself and I'm sure you'll make lots of friends!"

Mom always told me that. All I had to do was be myself, right?

"Can you stop being so damned energetic? It's annoying!"

"Umm… s-sorry, but I don't want to play with you. You're kind of weird!"

"Mom said I can't play with you, sorry. But you did break my arm with your toys!"

"I don't want to be positive! Can you just leave me alone?!"

I tried. I tried, tried, and tried! People didn't want me to be myself! They wanted me to be just like everyone else!

"Then they're not true friends, honey. I know you'll find friends. Keep trying, ok?"

And I did, but nothing changed. I love mom, I really did, but her advice was horrible! Still… I couldn't tell her.

"Don't worry, mom. I'll just keep trying!"

I didn't want to worry her or my siblings. Maybe If I pretended to be happy, then I'd actually be happy? At least that's what I thought.

Before long, most of my childhood had passed me by. I didn't make friends that lasted more than a few days or weeks. I didn't find anyone that saw me for who I really was. All I did was make myself look like a weirdo.

"Huh? Sure, I'll be your friend."

Until I met him, that was.

"R-Really?"

I asked, voice practically dripping with desperation.

"Sure! You seem kind of lonely. Though, I'm a bit thirsty. Mind getting me a bit of juice first? We can hang out after."

A smile cut across my face. Finally!

"Sure!" I said enthusiastically. "What do you want to play first? I have finger guillotine or-"

"None of that stuff."

He never liked my games.

"Let's go for a walk instead. I have a few more friends you can meet."

Looking back on it, we only ever played once. From then on, he'd always ask me for things. The times we did hang out, none of them would pay me any mind. I was like a fly on a wall that they had to tolerate.

Still… they were my friends, right? They were people willing to tolerate me, at least! It was probably the best I could ever hope to get, so why ruin it?

"Hey, Clara. Mind getting me some Juice?"

"Clara, got some juice?"

"Oh, Clarin, got some juice?"

It was my first nickname. Just hearing it made me think it was all worth it.

"Juice, Clarin~"

But that lost its luster soon enough. It wasn't the kind of nickname friends gave each other.

…

No. It was the name of a pet.

Still, it was all I had. I… I didn't want to be alone again.

————————-

It didn't take all that long for just about everyone in school to hear about my "reputation."

Maybe I should just… stop? If I stopped, would people finally like me?

…

No. Mom would know. Mom would stop smiling. It would be my fault.

Endure. Smile. Laugh. That was me. That was Val-

I spun around, ready to run and work out these pesky thoughts. But then I smashed into a brick wall.

"Oweee!"

What the heck? Oh… he was tall. Really tall.

And most of all, he was lost! He needed help, but he wasn't looking at me with the same eyes everyone else was!

I smiled, and try as I might to contain myself, I still went and blabbed all about my games. He listened for a bit before getting annoyed.

"Sure, whatever. Look, I don't have time to play but you can hang out with me if you have nothing better to do. Just help me find-"

My heart practically jumped into my throat. I knew he was just saying to shut me up, but still! This was my chance! Maybe If I could convince him that I was worth having around, then others could see it too!

Looking back on it, I was more trying to convince myself.

—————

His name was Lee and he had an adorable and cool brother. To be honest, they were both pretty good people, at least in my opinion.

"Why would you ever find a game in which you try to avoid a flame spitting snake fun?"

Their other friend, Asmodeus Alice, was a bit too uptight, though. But that was fine! No matter how "annoying" I was, he didn't leave. Neither Iruma or Lee left!

"S-Sure, we can play tomorrow," Iruma said with a smile as he glanced toward his older brother. "Right,Lee?"

For a moment, it felt like my heart was about to burst.

"Sure," the older boy said with a shrug. "Anyways, let's get out of here."

I nearly cried. Did I finally find friends? People who could put up with me?

I couldn't wait for tomorrow to come!

——————

They call them "dreams" because people can never achieve them. I was blind not to see it. They'd been right about me- about everything. The only reason anyone ever hung out with me was so they could use my power.

All it took was hearing the ones I'd called "friends" for so long admit it.

"She's pest. Useless without her powers."

He was right.

Even Lee looked at my power more than me! The way he stared wasn't like anyone else, but still!

I was sick of it! I was sick of everything and everyone!

What was wrong with being a little different? So what If I wasn't like everyone else?!

What was I supposed to do?!

----------

"Give. Me. Juice."

Ah… those words again. I just… I didn't want to give him anything. I wanted to slap that look right off his face! But… but If I did that, then I'd really be completely lost. Wouldn't I?

It felt like the world was closing in around me.

What do I do?

What do I do?!

"Punch him in the face." A slightly annoyed voice whispered into my ear.

I shivered. Punch? Punch him?

"You'll feel a lot better afterward."

My fist moved before I could finish the thought. The soft, fleshy nose it struck crumbled like wet cardboard.

Oh.

Why? Why hadn't I done that sooner?

All the stress, anger, and frustration I'd been building up seemed to just rush out of me.

I was surprised at the giggle that left my lip. Was it always this easy? Was this what I had to do to feel better about myself?

It didn't feel right, but… Lee wasn't wrong.

"Yeah…"

I smiled. For the first time in a long while, a relieved smile graced my lip.

Maybe I'd feel worse tomorrow. Maybe I'd realize how lonely I was, but at this moment, I was happy.

And that was more than enough for me.

—————
Lee POV
—————​

"You know, I should have guessed that demons discriminated against one another too," I said with a sigh, looking down at the "food," we'd been served. "Didn't expect it to be based on some imaginary rankings and stuff."

Alice cleared his throat and nodded.

"It's a system that's been integral to the school since it's founding," he said with a classy smile. "As much as I'd love to change it for you and Iruma-sama, such things would require power and political might that none of us posses."

I furrowed my brow and shrugged. Eh, whatever. The food looked like a melted pile of fish, garlic, paste and mush, but it was still not the worst.

Iruma was already digging in an on his second plate. For such a small kid, he could eat someone out of house and home! Hell, I'd still never managed to beat that demonic stomach of his.

"Let's finish up and leave before we run into anymore trouble," I said with a sigh.

Sitting to my right was Val. Compared to the energizer bunny she'd been the last two days, the girl looked dazed. She was quiet, meek, and always kept throwing glances mine and Iruma's way.

Did she want to say something? Well, I wasn't going to be the one to start that conversation. If she wanted to say it, then she could do so herself!

"You two…" Alice cringed as he watches us eat the food.

Almost as if to prove me right, a very familiar teacher walked into the dinning room. What the hell was his name again? I'd already forgotten.

Narveerius? Norbverius? Nooberius?

…

Hoot. I think Hoot was probably the best I was going to get with him. It fit pretty well in my opinion!

The teacher stopped in his tracks and took a good look at me, Iruma and Alice. I don't think I'd ever seen someone visibly express their disgust and frustration that obviously before.

When Val took a bit of food from my plate, his brow twitched. He didn't utter a single word and then walked away.

Huh. He was smarter than I gave him credit for.

"So, finish food and then find our class?" I asked.

"Yeah," Iruma said with a nod.

Easy.

————

"Think this is a big joke or something?" I asked, staring up at the big, ancient doors. "This place looks like a tomb or something, not a damned class."

"I-It is a bit scary," Iruma whispered, glancing a the small note we'd been given. "B-But this is the place! The abnormal class, a-at least that's what Su- grandfather said…"

Ugh… was he really still calling him that? The old goat wasn't here.

"While I am worried, I do believe your grandfather wouldn't intentionally lead you astray," Alice said with a smile. "Please, let's go in and-"

"S-Surprise!" Val said as she rushed forward and tried to push Iruma. I doubted it was anything malicious, but something like that wasn't going to fly when I was right there.

"Bad surprise," I said, gently snatching her hand out of the air. I gave it a firm squeeze to show her that it wasn't ok to do that to Iruma. "Don't-"

I'd expected many things, but not what she did next. Val let out a squeal that reminded me of what a dying cat sounded like. Her cheeks turned scarlet and then she pushed both me and Iruma forward.

"H-Hyah!"

It was so sudden that I couldn't stop it. Heck, I wasn't sure if I could.

How strong was this girl?!

Suffice it to say, I smashed into the door with the back of my head. Iruma went flying over me.

The sound of blades cutting through the air had me on my feet in a second. When I spun around, half a dozen weapons were sunken into the floor and walls. A spear here, an axe there. Hell, there were even a few katanas and a damned iron ball!

Iruma, of course, dodged them all. If I was some sort of demon, then clearly he had been blessed by an angel.

"W-Wow!"

"Amazing!"

"Damn it! I lost the bet!"

Out from the shadow burst a number of unfamiliar faces. Amongst them was one I did recognize.

That blond hairstyle with the black, squiggly line and small, black horns could only belong to one person.

Shax Lied. That was his name, right?

"Good to see you again," he greeted me with a smile. "Gotta say, wasn't expecting to you or your brother to wind up here."

I nodded and then took a good look at the weapons. Those were real. Who the hell set up that trap?

"Eh, everyone had to get through that," Shax said with a shrug. "Though, don't think anyone expected him to dodge every single one."

He pointed a thumb behind himself.

"There's another guy. He walked right through the things!" he said with a laugh. "He's crazy, I tell you what."

"Of course I would not dodge!" Speak of the devil and he shall appear. "The demon king is no coward, so he faces all challenges head on!"

I raised a brow as another student walked forward.

Who the hell was this guy? I had to turn my head up just to meet his eyes. He was at least as tall as Iruma and I combined. His muscles were like… like something out of a comic book! Also, he had a bunch of swords and spears sticking out of him.

But he wasn't bleeding.

What the hell?

"Remember my name!" he shouted. "I am Sabnock Subolo and I'm the only one suitable to be the demon king!"

Oh. I understand.

"You're just an idiot."

I could see a vain nearly pop in his forehead.

"You two might be an honor students, but there's a big difference between you and I." He said, flexing his muscles. The many weapons stuck into his body cracked and then exploded. The bits left over fell out of his flesh as if they were made of crackers. "And that is passion! You will never achieve anything worth while with those dead eyes of yours."

He huffed and then spun around.

"Against such pathetic wills, all I have to do is crush you and prove myself as the strongest."

…

Wow. That's why this place was called the abnormal class huh?

Everyone inside was a complete nutter.

 

[Zam138]

Wow. That's why this place was called the abnormal class huh?

Everyone inside was a complete nutter.

Click to shrink...

-he says, knowing full well it describes both him and Iruma too lol

 

[Jao]

"S-Sure, we can play tomorrow," Iruma said with a smile as he glanced toward his older brother. "Right,Lee?"

Click to shrink...

Right, Lee?*

 

[Leekz01]

Spoiler: Optional Music

"It all just sounds needlessly complicated," I said, crossing my arms and shaking my head. "Still don't like these ranks."

Iruma gently tugged on my arm, giving me a, "Please don't start anything" look. Really? Did he think I was going to get into a fight because of this?

"How else are ya going to figure out who's the best?" Shax asked as he picked some wax out of his ears. "It's there for a reason, buddy."

I sighed.

"Whatever," I said, shrugging at the idea. Maybe I was the only one that didn't like stupid titles like that.

"Well, what would you pick?" Val asked with a friendly smile.

Ugh…

"I don't know? Like, just use grades like normal people?"

That's what Iruma told me schools measured people by.

"Isn't that the same thing?" Shax pointed out. "You're not the sharpest tool in the shed, are you?"

My brow twitched.

"Sounds like you want to get a bit of a beating," I huffed. "Don't call me stupid."

Our little commotion continued on for a bit longer. While Iruma, Alice, Val and Shax were chatting, I scanned the classroom. No student looked alike.

There was one guy who had the head of a lion, some guy with a very pointed head, a guy that looked like a damned owl, another fur-covered guy, some nerdy girl, another guy, and a few more.

I gave up trying to organize them in my head and just focused on the more dangerous ones.

There was Sabneck, who seemed to be a big brute. Besides him, the tall, blond, and "elegant" girl. Her name was Elizabeth or something. Elizabutt? Elizabetha?

She looked really pretty and tall. If there was ever a "succubus," then she fit the bill. I'd heard of them before, and if she was one of them, then she might be the strongest person in the class. Fighting against someone who could break bones with a punch was easy. Just don't get hit.

Fighting against someone that could mess with your mind was a lot harder.

"Hmm? Is something the matter?" the girl must have seen me glancing in her direction. "You've been staring at me for some time, so I was curious."

Ugh. Her voice was calm, smooth as silk, and mature.

She certainly had the pointiest of horns out of everyone in the class. To be honest, was she even supposed to be here? She looked more like an adult than a girl our age.

"You're very horny," I said, pointing at her horns. "I was just surprised they were so shiny, was all."

Her eyes went wide and a small blush crawled across her cheeks.

"Lee!" Iruma hissed. "That doesn't mean what you think it does!"

He rushed in front of me and started bowing repeatedly. He apologized at least four times before the girl giggled sheepishly. She smiled warmly and then accepted the apology.

"It's fine," she said. "I do put a lot of effort into polishing them every day. I'm happy someone noticed."

With that, she gave a small nod and then sat down.

Beside me, Clara was frowning and poking her own horns.

Of course, it didn't take long for me to figure out what I'd said. Yeah, it was dumb, but everyone made mistakes.

"Sorry about that."

The important part was owning up to my mistakes.

"It's alright," Eli said with a friendly smile. "Everyone makes mistakes, and I was happy having someone notice all the work I put into them."

Demons were something else.

——

"You're all surprisingly quiet," a familiar voice tore through the small room as someone slammed the doors open. "I guess that's something impressive."

A demon dressed in all black stepped through. His sharp gaze and peculiar hairstyle made it obvious as to who he was.

"K-Kalego sensei?" Iruma called out as he stood up and approached him, eyes wide. "W-Wait, are you our homeroom teacher?"

Kalego huffed and nodded.

"Unfortunately, ye-"

Running past Iruma, Val started circling our teacher. She was like a shark smelling blood.

"Hey, hey!"

"Amazing!"

"You're our homeroom teacher?"

"Coo!"

"I like your hair!"

God. I was feeling secondhand embarrassment just looking at her. I honestly could care less for what that guy thought, but this made me feel mad.

"S-Shut the hell up!" he roared. "It's a setup! A… set up…"

The anger had faded away in a second. He looked like a damned deflated balloon. Still, he was quick to pump some air back into himself.

"But forget that!" he shouted. "Just get your asses in gear and follow me!"

It was as if the air itself was trembling around him.

"Don't lag behind or I'll make today the worst day of your lives!"

For some reason, I couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy.

———————

I hated long-winded speeches. It was something I had no idea I didn't like until just around now. The damned bird-teacher's words all blended together after some point.

Blah, blah, it was a race. Blah-blah, get to the other end of the valley where there's a flag.

I glanced over the edge of the cliff. That was one big drop.

"Stay away from the area where the monster birds are guarding their nests."

…

Say what?

"Monster birds?" I called out. "Like, regular birds, but monsters?"

Kalego stared at me as if I had brain damage. I really wanted to go up and punch him for that, but I wasn't stupid. As much of a fool as he acted and looked, he was a teacher. Considering this whole world's deal was ranks and power, that meant he was probably pretty tough.

"No, they're very nice, fluffy, and love hugs," he said with a deadpan expression.

"R-Really?" Iruma asked, eyes shining brightly with a hint of hope.

Poor, poor innocent Iruma.

"Of course not!" Kalego shouted. "They'll peel the flesh from your bones and eat you alive! So if you don't want to die, follow my damned instructions!"

Man, that guy had a voice on him.

"Now, open your ears and listen to the rest of what I-"

Huh. This was pretty high up. I guess we'd have to fly, but then that came with its own problems. Iruma couldn't fly and I'd been slacking off on my practice.

Ugh. This was going to be a real pain, especially if we wanted to keep up the image of him being strong. It was probably one of the few things keeping idiots from picking on him.

Iruma was my brother, but I'd be damned if he wasn't adorable and bully-bait.

There had to be a way to make it through this without anyone noticing…

"Why not cross the-"

Sabnork started an argument with the teacher about crossing some sort of valley on the way to the flag. Apparently, it was off-limits?

Hmm. If we went through an area the others stayed away from, then that would mean less chances for Iruma to be found out! Well, Sabnock seemed ready to go through there, but we could just avoid him.

It was the perfect plan!

"Everyone, get ready. It's time to start the test," Kalego explained. "Remember, you will be assigned a rank only after you complete this. Die and I'll dock points."

What. Could… could demons revive themselves or something?

"Go."

With that single word, just about everyone sprouted wings from their back. Everyone but Iruma.

If I could give him mine, I would.

"You too," Kalego said as he kicked Iruma in the back, sending him plummeting off the cliff.

"Eh?"

What?

Huh?

No way, right?

"Don't make me kick you-"

I ran past him, diving off the cliff.

Iruma!!

…

"Huh… guess he was really eager?"

———————

My brother was many things, but luck was probably the most obvious. If he were a Demon, I'd have guessed his weird powers were based on luck.

"Leeeee!" he hiccuped and called my name. "Leeeee!"

I didn't know how to feel. Seriously? He falls off a cliff and then I spend a good ten minutes looking for him, only to find him riding on the back of some damned bird monster. The thing was at least the size of a small house!

"Whatever," I said with a sigh, carefully flapping my wings so as to land on the bird's back. "This shit's harder than it seems…"

"Leeeeee!"

I sighed.

"I guess this works too."

It wasn't the original plan, but it would do just as well.

——————

"Human blood heals demons?"

"I think so," Iruma said as he held out his hand. "I mean, I got cut and a bit of my blood healed this one."

"Never worked on me," I said with a shrug. "Been in lots of fights and you know sometimes I came back with bits of blood on me."

He grimaced and nodded.

Just another mystery to add to the pile.

"Lee… I don't think I can make it much further," Iruma suddenly said. "I can't fly. I'm weak. It's only a matter of time till someone figures it out."

"…"

"Lee?"

I sighed.

"It doesn't matter," I said, scratching the back of my head. "We're only here until that old man lets us go back."

The longer I spent in the place, the more I realized there probably wasn't a way out. I didn't know this world. I didn't know what other strange powers the demons had. For all I knew, the only reason that old man could go to the human world was because of an innate power.

"Yeah," Iruma said with a grimace. "I don't-"

"But that doesn't mean I'm just going to sit on my ass and let something as silly as that hold you back," I said, standing up. "Iruma, you're not a demon, but that doesn't mean you're not special."

He blinked and looked up at me.

"Your luck and ability to dodge things is frankly insane."

He blinked, chuckled, and looked away.

"You never could hit me when we played dodgeball…"

"Or when I tried to teach you basic martial arts," I pointed out. "Point is, who cares if you don't have wings?"

This was a completely different world.

"For all we know, there's someone out there that can give you wings. I'm sure that old man has some ideas."

He gulped and looked up at me.

"I know we wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible, but I don't think it's going to be that easy anymore."

He winced and nodded.

"We'll be here for the long haul, so don't go giving up on me now."

The nebulous expression on his face shifted into something more confident. He smiled and stood up.

"You're right," he said with a nod, reaching out and grabbing my hand. "I'm not going to let something as silly as not having wings stop me!"

"Yeah!" I said.

"Who cares If I don't have wings!"

"Yeah!"

"In fact, I'm going to prove it right now!"

"Yea- Wait, what are you-"

Without hesitation, Iruma stepped off our feathered friend and jumped down into the valley.

"Ahhhhhhh!"

…

Damn it, Iruma!!

——————

As it turned out, our little detour wasn't entirely wasted.

"Lee, we have to help!"

I palmed my face and watched as Iruma ran to what most would call his "death." I'd only just saved him from going splat and then he ran off to save the pompous, blond demon who threatened us not too long ago.

"Yeah, yeah…"

I rushed after him, arriving just as the massive shadow descended on Sabnuck, or whatever his name was. If our bird friend was the size of a small house, then this thing was at least four times as big.

The earth rumbled as it moved.

"I won't die!" the blond idiot shouted. "Not until I've achieved the coolest of cools!"

…

What.

Somehow, Iruma made it just a second before I did. He leaped in front of the creature's massive, black nail.

Son of a-

The ground shattered beneath my feet. I rushed forward, turning into a blur. Something inside me screamed out. It felt like my body was burning from the inside out!

The world slowed to a crawl. I traced a deadly arc with my foot, smashing it into the obsidian claw and knocking the monster backward.

I breathed in and then out. Steam hissed as it escaped my lip.

"Lee… your foot's on fire!"

I blinked and glanced down at my legs.

"Oh. Well, shit."

I'd have to get new pants and shoes now...

 

[Zam138]

"You're right," he said with a nod, reaching out and grabbing my hand. "I'm not going to let something as silly as not having wings stop me!"

"Yeah!" I said.

"Who cares If I don't have wings!"

"Yeah!"

"In fact, I'm going to prove it right now!"

"Yea- Wait, what are you-"

Without hesitation, Iruma stepped off our feathered friend and jumped down into the valley.

"Ahhhhhhh!"

…

Damn it, Iruma!!

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"Adapt. Improvise. Overcome." -The same goober