Unique Delivery System (NO isekai/ NO Mary Sue/ NO Harem/ Comedy)

RiP · Feb 16, 2022

Chapter 1

* * *

"And don't come back here again whelp!"

I showed the shouting man a fuck and promptly started to walk away in an uncertain direction. After only a minute, the man fell behind, and after speaking ill of my parents, he staggered back holding his heart. Ha, no one's ever caught up with me... today!

And in the same way, panting with difficulty, but holding on to my liver, I moved in the opposite direction.

So, this vacancy is crossed out. I had my doubts from the beginning, the conditions were suspiciously good, and the salary was promised to be normal. However, the main reason for doubts was "all details in a personal interview". Here it turned out that the amount of proposed work is much more than specified in the ad, and wages will meet my expectations only after three months of probation. I offered to show me the contract and suddenly our conversation went somewhere else, turned into swearing, and abruptly turned into catching up.

Some people don't know how to have a dialogue at all!

Where does that leave us? Courier service one, courier service two, a packer, an apprentice, another apprentice... Good job in tech support, but you have to communicate there, and that's too much. Okay, what else? Waiter? Thanks, I already don't like people, and now I have to do it for money? Stashman, stashman, "courier for a hundred thousand a month", another stashman. Does anyone really buy it? There are a lot of fools, though.

Stashman - I'm don't know about proper English word. It's a person whom hide a drugs in hide spots for indirect seling.

As I deleted the vacancies, I gradually grew gloomy. The condition my father had set for me was that I should earn enough to live myself in conditions that would not cause me to fall ill or die within a month. That is, I must leave the house in what I have and somehow provide a place to sleep and food. And at any time I could refuse and go home. This was an option in the wager, but after that, I would have to go wherever my father told me to go and work there for at least a year, as an honest man.

Daddy's tough, so when he got another nibble on the fact that I was sitting around doing nothing with my games, he kicked me out of the house. He threw me out of the boat into the sea of life, so to speak, so that I could learn to swim. At the same time, he carefully tied a concrete block to my feet in the form of "terms of a gentleman's agreement".

I stopped at one offer, but it required at least five years of work in the profession and age no older than twenty years. Where was the logic in that?

Why aren't you studying?! We made all the conditions for you!

I studied... It was boring and I stopped studying. I was expelled for absenteeism, a family drama, how could it be - a son without an education! Why didn't you get one yourself? Yes, yes, the hard nineties, I remember. They had no time to study, my father had eight years of school, so he could not afford to live in the Сapital. We live in the suburbs, in our own house with a two-hectare plot of land.

And in it is my cozy, under-roof computer room, where I "spend all my time playing with my games". Again - giving their son the most high-end computer, and then complaining for years that I only use it to play games? The saddest thing is that my "games" are quite a decent income. Yes, it is hard to call it good, but to the computer, which had long ago expired in the reserve, I soon added another one, without taking a penny from my parents. I was secretly proud of it... Until they found out about my hobby "programming" and bought me a very cool machine. My parents are good, but in terms of screwing up motivation, they are second to none.

So I lived like that, waiting for the army - until the military commissar said: "not suitable". He turned out to be a great motivator, too. Not to college, not to the Red Army, and now they won't even let me go home at all.

It's not that bad, I have a stash, and I can find someone to borrow it from. Surely my mother will not stand it, at most she will call tomorrow, but my father said that without a detailed and documented account of income and expenditures, he would not recognize the results of the bet.

The cruelty of some people shocks me.

I could also drop in at my grandmother's, which is a lot of delicious pastries, a soft couch, and windows into the green yard... But grandma, by the way, is daddy's mother, that is father in a square. Considering that she wants to babysit great-grandchildren, and the fact that the last time she stalked me with the granddaughter of one of her countless friends - "good girl, you do not think anything of it". This "girl" is six years older than me and twice as big! She's even fatter than me, can you imagine?! What is there to think about, I have to run!

Okay, that would be a backup in case the food level in my body drops below a critical point. I mean granny pies, not a girl.

Out of all the vacancies, there were exactly two. Courier and the same tech support. To work with my feet or to work with my tongue-hands-feet-head? Turning to the subway, I started leafing through the reviews of both companies, the better ones seemed to be those for couriers. On the other hand, there are half of the incomprehensible words, and who knows what they mean? Maybe the couriers have a secret code.

I already know how to win the argument: I'll rent a room in the wilds of the suburbs, put a computer there, and keep playing my "games". I'll get less than my mother's allowance, but certainly enough for food and lodging. Except, of course, my daddy would have a problem with where I got my start-up money. And let him get his hands on it, and then I can't get out. So what?

So you have to work officially for at least a week. And the terms of delivery have "daily payment", but the tech support does not. Having made the difficult choice, I resolutely moved toward the subway. Cabs are too luxurious for us working people.

Mask, gloves, blunt expression - ready for a trip on public transport.

It all happened too quickly, for sure Daddy had been preparing it for a long time. And if he had been preparing it, it would be hard to beat it. He'd been hinting for a year that it was time to do something... Did he really plan it all year long? He's got it coming. Or did he think of it all at once, and spent the time trying to find a way to calm my mother down?

If I won, my parent promised to buy me an apartment, where I could do whatever I wanted without annoying anyone, away from his eyes. Yeah, what a generous gesture, he didn't mention the money for utilities and food. I'm sure he'll squeeze it in, to stimulate motor activity.

Well, lyricism aside, we need to learn a little bit about the essence of the profession.

As I finished watching another video, I walked down the street by touch, but my sense of touch did not fail me. I found the courier office quickly, everything inside looked unsuspicious, i.e. no people with nets in the corners, no traces of dragging on the floor, someone was even laughing. And the laughter wasn't hysterical, just standing there laughing! Even there is life here.

I was relieved to go to the counter, but they told me to take a ticket and wait in line. With the piece of paper in my hand, I sat down to wait, looking around. I wondered. Too bad I didn't have dark glasses - behind the mask and goggles I had only to put on a baseball cap and no one would know where I was looking and who I was showing my tongue to.

The people sitting there were very ordinary, I see them regularly. Mostly in funny videos on YouTube, my delivery is picked up from the gate by the housekeeper. Now I'll be standing at someone's gate myself, waiting for the cruel and indifferent customers to condescend to a humble employee...

Sobbing to myself and mentally wiping away a tear, I looked around even more actively. No, people are like people. In fact, there weren't that many people sitting here, about a dozen and a half, just one registrar. What, such a turnover? Bad conditions? Suspicious! Most of them were migrant workers, but I couldn't figure out what they were. Two students, a man of unclear occupation, a young woman with a phone in each hand, and me.

"Next!"

At the same time, the scoreboard above the receptionist's head blinked. I have thirteen more numbers to sit, and if ten minutes each... Why not put the second one in! People are waiting! I have work to do!

If you see this...

I turned away, not immediately thinking, then looked closely. There was a door to the side, and above it was a sign with red letters: "If you see this, you can enter to register out of turn". I looked around, noting that either no one could see it, or that everyone here was illiterate, as if quite by accident, sideways, on the wall, reached the door and quietly opened it, ducked inside.

Just in case, holding it on so no one would rush in after me, I turned around.

A real piece of work sits behind the table.

No, not like that - an ordinary room, two racks on one side, a table in the middle, and two chairs. A guy is sitting on one... you know, there's Dude, there's Buddy, and then there's this. "That kind of person."

He looked at me with a sigh, put aside a collection of crossword puzzles and pulled up the keyboard, and got down to business: "What's the name?"

"Marius."

The guy looked at me doubtfully, I had to explain: "Mom wanted a girl, so I was born. The compromise name was Marius."

"It's like Maria?" (*)

"It's like "Gaius Marius of ancient Rome."

I didn't respond to his dubious look. With my name, anyone would be a stoic. There's nothing else to do. Parents, why are you so cruel to children? I had a classmate named Nokion. His father had made a fortune in that company's stock.

"Documents?"

I put my passport on the table, he pressed it with one hand and quickly typed something into the computer with the other. Then he slid it to me: "Is it full-time or what?"

"I'm temporary."

"Yeah, everyone here is temporary."

The guy took a standard thermometer pistol from the shelf, and I just as mechanically put my wrist. But for some reason, he commented not on my health, but on his own conclusions: "The authorization is B2. Are you going to take the warranty?"

"I guess so..."

He put the tool away and marked something in his notes: "Don't forget to put a checkmark in the application right away."

"Where?"

"There, download it."

The link was right on the wall. While I was scanning and downloading, the design ended and the man thoughtfully stretched out: "Well, you look like a tough guy..."

I tried to adjust my belly slightly.

"So for the first time you carry water."

I felt bad. Somehow I hadn't thought about the fact that couriers carry things, and those things can be heavy, and as soon as he said "water," I saw a nineteen-liter bottle and me trying to move it out of the way. Then I cried beside it in exhaustion. And finally, me pushing it... oh, right! I'll roll on the road and that's it!

"You usually get it in the seventh warehouse..."

"Where?"

"I'll show you later. Now I have it."

He stood up, walked over to the shelf, and took a box from the shelf, a little bigger than a lighter. Then he put it in front of me and leaned his chest on the table, suddenly threatening: "You answer with your head! We don't have anything missing! We find everything!"

And immediately went into power-saving mode, removing the severity necessary for the issuance of the order.

Buzz.

The app, which stubbornly refused to open, suddenly launched. Quickly clicking on "I agree" and finding the checkbox of this very "guarantee" I got to the heart of the task - not too far away.

"Just carrying, right?"

"Yes."

"And then?"

Actually, everywhere it talked about instructions, paperwork, and other bureaucratic crap. And here suddenly take and go.

"Do you have an app? That's where everything is. The clock is ticking, by the way."

Oh, really, because there can be fines for being late!

The box fits nicely in my pants pocket, and I left the room and looked around. During this time, the line had moved by one person only, but the waiting people were not confused, and they did not pay attention to the scoreboard behind my back. Well, themselves... I don't know who.

The route is simple, there are no heavyweights, sit and have fun.

I opened the app and began to actively delve into it.

For starters, I found myself - Marius Yulievich, a picture from my passport, where I am as alive, and in the column "access" there is this very "B2", whatever it means. If the best is "A," then I'm close to the top! But if the best "Z", then I'm... still not at the bottom!

Further poking around showed that under the selection of orders was another menu, but so far it was all blocked and displayed an incomprehensible "not enough points". Apparently, it will open after the test task. Finally, there was the usual, if I got it right, list of orders, selection of slots, and delivery points... Well, in general, everything is clear.

It wasn't far away, so I couldn't poke around on my phone, but the job was as simple as rotating of a tank on a boss. Pick up-drop off, pick up-drop off, pick up-drop off-dead. And so the whole week. But the reviews could earn some incredible thousand, and also said something about the auction and the points ... I did not quite understand, I need to find a chat room, in the app probably moderate everything.

Well, no adventures await me. Routine, boring. That's it!

"Hello, this is delivery. Did you order water"

The intercom hissed indistinctly, and the door opened.

It's just a normal driveway. Only it's cold, man! I've heard that old buildings are cold, but this is just some kind of refrigerator! If I didn't have a supply of subcutaneous insulation, I would have shrunk to hell! I was a little out of breath when I reached the fifth floor without an elevator, and when I was asked a question from behind the door, I just whispered something I did not understand. Came out a client, for some reason in a bathrobe to the floor and with a hood, shined at me black glasses and took a box quickly closed the door. In the mask, he had funny, fangs and a scarlet mouth. I want one of those too. But the gloves, even at home? And black, household gloves. He must have sanitizers on every corner at home, paranoid bastard!

I exhaled, looked at the steam without surprise, and rubbed my hands.

I put my ear to the door and listened.

Dori me, interimo adapare dori me...

Well, at least he listens to decent music.

The phone buzzed and I was happy to read that I had been tipped. But they didn't tell me exactly what it was for, because when I stepped away from the entrance door, the app went off, and when it started working again, half of the options were gone. A buggy system, but people work somehow, right? So I can, too.

Where am I supposed to go now?

The next hours passed in a dull "buzz, there's an order - delivery from wow how far away in damn are you kidding," and so on and so on. Packages from stores, envelopes from offices, fast food from fast-food joints. By the end of my shift, I was exhausted and wasn't even listening to music, just stupidly sitting and staring at one dot. Nah, something else needs to be done, working like this is overkill. The problem is that any "something" was stymied by my dad's "What's in it for?" At least a week should work honestly to explain what and where. Where to get a second-hand computer, I already had an idea, rent a room, too, no problem. And then the remaining three weeks live on ramen, work for a penny pumping accounts, and then back to my attic!

Hearing my thoughts about the pennies, the app squealed and clearly giggled in response to my scolding, the phone told me that I can calm down, it's a transfer and the account got... Hmm, maybe I should forget about the computer? However, it only seems that the earnings are decent. First, I'm not going home, where food appears by itself in the refrigerator, I need to save for dinner and breakfast. Eh, to be realistic - and for dinner tomorrow too. The money will also only be paid in the evening. That's already a third out. I need to buy water, socks, and food. And, most importantly, somewhere to sleep, and to get a good night's sleep.

With all those nasty "needs," the amount for the night was a little less than the cost of the voice donation I had on the channel. But the world is full of miracles, and there was accommodation for such losers!

True, it was almost an hour's drive.

Well, I bought some food on the way, too.

However, I got comfortable: on the lower tier of the double-decker bed in a room for eight people. The one next door was more budget-friendly, with fourteen beds. And I also had the convenience of a curtain!

It took the last of my energy to chew a bun and drink a 3-in-1 instant coffee from the bag. To sleep or to dig through the reviews? Nah, I'll read on the way tomorrow, but right now I need to rest.

In the next bunk, they suddenly inquired:

"Peter, did you bring it?"

"Wait a minute, we'll pour it out later."

It looks like there's going to be a party.

Who here wanted to sleep?

It's the hard knock life for us...

Or in Russian - Mom, I'm in hell.

I'm in hell, mom.

I pulled back the curtain and tried to make myself more comfortable. Well, I've had worse. Once... No, I haven't. This is my first time, Life - be gentle!

The phone rang, and I looked closely: Congratulations, courier! As a first-time subscriber, you get bonus points. You can spend them in our store!

The first thing that caught my eye was the "sort by availability" button - and I clicked it. After that I was left with two positions: "Branded bag" and "Branded cape (all-weather)". As far as I understood from the clips I watched, the bag opened up the possibility of some sort of shipping benefits and options, and the cape is not needed in the current weather. Not all entryways are cold, are they? So the choice is obvious.

I clicked on the bag, and immediately the animation showed a model of a man who suddenly had a square bag on his back, causing the man to bounce around on the screen. It was not quite clear whether he was excited or terrified.

Because of my fatigue, I could only squeeze out a thought, but I couldn't quite formulate it - with this job, I would really become this "schematic courier". Stick and stick, pickle, our little man lost weight. The "courier" weight loss system.

*Buzz*

What else do you want?

Would you like to open a Unique Delivery System?

Yes/no

Damn marketers. Calling the bonus system that way... There's nothing sacred in the world!

Yes.

Apply your nose to activate.

Dumbly looking at the offer, I decided that this is already too much.

And, shoving the phone under the pillow, I went to bed.

And then I took it out, poked my nose into the screen, and shoved it back in. I'm a working man, you mock exploiters. My time will come...

* * *

Link to the RR. It's a couple of chapters more.

krahe · Feb 16, 2022

RiP said:
(NO isekai/ NO Mary Sue/ NO Harem/ Comedy)

Looks interesting

RiP · Feb 16, 2022

Chapter 2

* * *

So, let's write down: point one - buy earplugs.

I seemed terribly tired, but I got so much sleep in six hours that I lay staring dumbly into the bars of the upper bed at dawn. Then I realized, jumped up, and rushed to wash my face. Indeed, a lot of people, only two toilets, the realities of a cruel world. So and tried to catch up everywhere, until suddenly I found myself on the street, briskly pacing to the subway. Not a cab waiting, no, that was beyond our means, working people! To the subway, to the depths, which is symbolic!

And already there I began to make a plan.

The first point is earplugs. The second is a sleep mask. Third, a towel, and stuff like that. Otherwise, I'll grow a beard and a crust of dirt in a week. No tips for such a deliverer, so I have to take care of myself. Besides, whoever disregards the rules of the dormitory and actively smells, gets beaten up. Like that man last night...

So, at the same time, I need to understand this "system" of theirs. Understandably, the calculation is for students, game motivation, and other crap, but the thing about any system is that it can be hacked! That's why manual control is more profitable - one of the pearls of wisdom of the daddy.

How am I supposed to hack this particular system, given that every courier... Okay, let's be realistic - every twentieth courier, the rest are fine, have thought about it?

While they were pushing me, rubbing against my sides, trying to move me, and snorting indignantly when they failed, I studied the app. It was glitchy to the core because some of the functions were available but then turned off dead. I should have gone into slavery to the yellows or the greens, this system is obviously new... On the other hand, is that why they pay more?

yellows or greens - These are the colors of the two most popular delivery systems in Russia.

Just as long as they have money left on their staff after all these games.

As a matter of habit, I went into the waiting room and was surprised to find that at eight in the morning there were already a lot of people there. Then I remembered that I was no longer a job seeker, but a hired staff, and my waiting room, or whatever it was, was the seventh one. I had to go outside, walk in circles around the entire building, then swear and study the phone. Fortunately, the address popped up in the suddenly working app.

Soon you won't be able to go to the bathroom without the app, you'll get lost!

Finally, the right entrance was found.

It's just an ordinary pickup point. I've seen them many times. In pictures on the Internet.

The racks stretched along the wall, number one on the left, number two... behind number six was a curtain of plastic strips. As I pulled them apart, I stepped inside.

Aha.

There were far fewer people here. Only five people per thirty meters of space, but what a bunch! If I lived in a soap opera, it would obviously be a comedy. There was Brute, half-lounging on a bench embedded in the floor; opposite him by the window Abstinence was shivering in a messenger's cloak; next to the empty counter Clever Boy was actively scrolling on his phone; in the corner, the Old Man was lurking with a natural paper newspaper.

And, of course, in the center of the hall sat blowing a bubble of gum Tomboy.

Now, if I understand it correctly, they have Fatty.

Well, that's not a bad deal. Because if Tomboy is not the main character's girlfriend, but is taken for comic relief, then I might get something of her in the finale, on the credits. Although, of course, I'll have to put up with her politically incorrect jokes for ten episodes - that's as usual.

"Hello, folks!"

Four heads turned toward me, and only the Old Man shot his eyes at me obliquely.

"Where do they give out the bags here?"

Everyone nodded at the counter at the same time. Well, that's what I thought.

The storekeeper, slightly unshaven for the past two weeks, was a relative of Abstinence, or at least an ideological associate of his. Too bad, with a staff like that, there'd be less order. The racks behind the storekeeper's back were separated from the hall by the same plastic canopy, and it was impossible to see anything.

Trying not to get caught in the exhaust, I still have to talk to people, I just turned to him a picture of the supposed reward and raised my eyebrows questioningly.

"Give it."

He nodded hintingly at my phone but didn't take it, just held the "temperature gun" over the screen. Then he ducked behind the curtain - I couldn't see anything again. And almost immediately he came back out.

"Accept. Check the box that you have accepted the gift."

No further proof was needed, but what was the need for it in the age of technology?

The bag was slightly different from the standard boxes. Black... or gray... or bright green... Damn, it was some kind of plastic with overtones. In short, I got a pretty good device, no shame to walk around town. The size is also quite compact, but the straps are wide and solid back. In fact, the whole bag looks more like a soldier's rucksack of the old days than a messenger bag, I even knocked on the wall, inquiring:

"Bulletproof?"

The storekeeper did not support the joke.

"Up to twenty millimeters. Once."

And immediately he ducked behind his curtain.

After rummaging through the app, I found the "system man" and poked him in the back with my finger. The picture immediately enlarged, and I could see that there were plenty of slots for equipment. What's more, the status bar above his head blinked, and "courier, B2" changed to "courier, B3". Well, that's more interesting.

A quick check showed that the list of available orders changes depending on the equipment. Clearly, here you need to earn points, for which you will be given the damn things you don't need, which you equip on the man, and then more orders will open. Carrots are hung in front of your nose in abundance, run and collect.

Another check kind of hinted that Big Brother was watching me because as soon as I stepped away from the bag a meter away, the entire "B3" order panel disappeared. Sending a picture of her and walking around lightly wasn't going to work, but I wasn't going to. No, honestly I wasn't. Well, almost.

My colleagues watched my study of the new condition with mild interest. Deciding that they would not leave me, but the profitable orders might, I quickly flipped through the list. The one in the general section was not surprising: orders were appearing and disappearing, chosen by more agile workers, some were hanging motionless. I have to remember, if others do not take, then I should not. Worse, there were practically no bonuses in the general section, and you can only buy "equipment in the system slots" with them. But even for the cheapest "ring of businesslike inconspicuousness" you have to grind around for a week.

However, I could take a "guaranteed order package" available for "B2-3," which would allow me to fill up that same ring in a couple of days. Besides, the money was better, too.

Having made up my mind, I spoke into the air: "Okay, I need to hit fifteen calls today. How hard is that?"

The Brute responded: "The level of difficulty is "god". I don't take more than one a week."

"And what, enough?"

"I confirmed my qualifications, and that's fine."

He lazily moved his feet: "Don't be in a hurry to run, better to sit for the mandatory, here in the hall."

"They won't kick me out?"

Everyone grinned in unison but did not continue the conversation. Apparently, they hacked the system in their own way - they found a way to get the minimum wage without doing anything. No, that wouldn't work for me, I'd have to raise the money in a week.

I can't endure more than a week in a hostel.

How about buying a used tent and sleeping in the park outside of town? I guess I'll leave that as an option. Well, sooner you sit down, I mean, waiting for an order, sooner you get out of the humiliating shackles of poverty. There's nothing to do anyway, so why not work?

I resolutely ran my finger along with the options, chose nothing, and scrolling at random, I poked at the flickering stripes.

Combined package - two system quests and thirteen deliveries!

The quests are from the "B" system list, delivery is usual. Normally, judging by the rewards for the quest I will get enough bonuses, not to refuse the same. Especially since refusing the offer removes the points. Ooh, bloodsuckers, traps everywhere! Okay, the package deal is even better. I have nowhere to hurry anyway, but it's an hour... Suppressing a sad sigh - how tired I was of being poor! - I firmly pressed "I accept".

I was immediately awarded ten points for going to work. Nine hundred and ninety more and I'll get a bonus! For the bonuses, I would get profitable orders, for which I would get more bonuses, for which I would do, even more, for which I would get even more - more, more, more, muahaha-ha-ha! Free-to-play in the delivery industry. There's a generation growing up that identifies everything with games!

Sadly reflecting on the downfall of morals, I raked the bags the storekeeper had placed on the counter into my bag and headed for the exit. Brute, who sat sprawled across the bench, inquired with interest:

"Rookie, are you going for meat just like that?"

"Yeah, I need the bonuses."

"Rest in peace, bro."

Ha-ha, very funny.

"See ya!"

I didn't listen to what they told me. Anyway, with my role in the show, there is nothing pleasant. And the order is heavy and the packages are cold. Surely the meat is just out of the fridge. I should carry it quickly before it leaks - I have one bag, I need to be careful.

Already on the subway, I began to study the system quests more closely.

The standard version looked like this: You have a quest available - to pick up an item, take an item to ... blah, blah, blah... The condition is not to die on the way. The pawn is all accumulated points of the System or an immortal soul.

They're jokers, man. Yesterday I drove flowers to the penultimate order, and it was mandatory to sing "happy birthday" at the delivery. They didn't tip me, slammed the door halfway through the verse, and said, "I'm singing falsely". And here they were getting the soul!

Here in this "quest with meat" there is a mandatory condition - you must strictly follow the route, for deviation - again, minus bonus points. I would try to check how strictly everything is fixed, but not on the first day. Take care of reputation from the start, then you'll get tired of re-roll a char.

"Careful, the doors..."

I picked up the bag from the floor, surprised at how much lighter everything seemed in it. That's what it means to have the right volume and wide straps; yesterday I cut my hands up with bags. By the way.

Pointing the lens at the familiar-looking link after a brief moment of deciphering, I admired the "stats" of the item:

Courier bag (bonus, personal, B3)

Allows you to move large orders.

Opens access to system quests and missions.

Reduces shipping weight by #;%*?

The range is one meter.

Such plotters should be killed. I wanted to go home right away, and to hell with the job.

The bag was a "green item" and the program expectedly glitched on the "weight reduction" size. I bet it's not a bug, but a deliberate feature, not to give specific numbers. All designed for yesterday's schoolchildren who are more used to games than life. If you say "courier bag" immediately wrinkle their noses. Say "backpack with weight relief charms" and everyone immediately "gives me two"!

Humans are so controllable.

After entering another train wagon, I decided to return to reality. I tried to find a better place to stay than mine, but all the time either the pictures looked too suspicious, or the contact information. The reviews were terrible - they were drunk there, the place had been renovated under communism, there were bedbugs...

Brrh!!! I've read about bedbugs, and I've killed one or two in some games, but I don't want to meet one in person. Gotta keep me safe somehow. My hostel, as it turned out, wasn't the worst option, so I got on the phone and booked my bunk with the money I had left. A week, Marik, you only have to work for a week! That should be enough for a room! I don't care if it's the worst, as long as it's my own!

The phone buzzed, the app showed "The Quest Begins!"

First, it is necessary to go up the right-hand escalator, which is now off. Then go out the middle door and move to the left, making sure to pass between the pillars of the billboard.

God, what am I doing?

Turn into the courtyard, walk along the windows. That was the hardest part, because the entryway I was going to was immediately visible, and walking straight ahead made more sense. There must be some kind of covert surveillance, which is why the conditions are so stupid!

There is a silver lining to everything, though, because as I walked past the dumpsters, I stopped and pulled out a large can from a nearby box of used household chemicals. "Bugskiller" is a pretentious name. It's a no-name, but... yeah, here's "cockroaches, ants, bedbugs"! The second day of life away from home and already scavenging. And where to go?

What, you say impossible to carry groceries and household chemicals in a bag at the same time?

Well, sorry about that.

The little freebie lifted my spirits a little, even the dreary demands to "stop for thirty seconds between the fourth and fifth floors" didn't seem so idiotic. You're the boss, I'm the fool. I'm the boss, you're screwed.

And I will!

Riiiiiing!

While the door was rattling, going back and forth, and unlocking the deadbolts with a clang, I unloaded the bags. I shook the can again, and randomly sprayed it on the wall. No, it smells good, like toilet deodorant. And the splashing inside is not at all at the bottom, almost a full one is thrown away. I don't think my roomies would kill me for it.

"How did you... kha kha kha!"

When I realized that I had an allergic client, I acted quickly.

"Delivery-thank-you-thank-you-have-used-all-the-best!"

I slammed the front door already, and then sped briskly through the yard until they caught up with me. The bleeping of confirmation caught up with me on the street, and I was glad to see the alert.

Quest completed, you received 200 System points.

A ring costs a thousand. And on top of the points, I just paid for a night and the use of the washing machine! One more order, I'll have something to eat and iron my clothes on, and the rest will go to the "happy single existence" fund.

The day starts off great!

However, things were going well after that, too. I decided that the second quest with its stupid requirements could be postponed because there was no strict deadline, so I began the usual delivery. With the bag was more fun, time after time I went to another store or cafe, loaded packages, wandered where the card says, handed it over, returned. It was a dull routine like I was pumping out my tenth character on my account. The second day of work, and already sick and tired - how have people like this for years to go to work? So Brute gets one order a week... Maybe he's like me, his parents are strict?

It occurred to me that I could somehow give myself a higher rating. For example, I could order delivery and make it myself, while tipping from one of my work wallets. Two days and I... Nah, you can't fool my daddy like that.

And the system? Order something and do it yourself? Probably won't work, either. I don't know how the orders for the system quests are chosen, so stop stalling and get to work. The sun's still high... oh, no, it's evening. That's what happens when you spend most of the day in the subway.

I was surprised to note that I hadn't eaten anything all day, except three liters of water. I bought some pies and opened the system quests tab. I'm good and intuitive - it turns out that if you make more regular deliveries, then even add bonuses for the quests! And I already have such solid overwork. That is, tomorrow night I can redeem the ring, go to "B4", and there plus ten percent to the guaranteed payment. True, only for those quest packages, which are from fifteen orders per day, an incentive for full-time workers, but I just do not have to hurry. If the increase adds up, by the end of the week I could be earning a third more!

No, bullshit. No one just parted with the money like that.

I took the quest order from my seventh counter; there was no one in our room anymore, and in general, it was empty. Now and then, yawning, I unloaded the tinkling bundle into my bag and staggered toward the subway. My feet, my feet hurt and hurts. At least my sneakers were good, they would last me a week for sure. Well, the day passed, the time was not wasted. I've watched five episodes of the series, three episodes of the ongoings, a total of seventeen chapter updates in the ranobe. There were an awful lot of orders taken. Fourteen working hours on their feet, and no one is forced! By myself, all by myself.

Human are their own worst enemy!

I looked through the orders on my favorite resource, and with longing looked at one - just for me! Now I would like to have a computer, a table with goodies on the right, a tray with tea and coffee on the left, headphones on my head, a microphone under my nose, stream and quietly beat someone's rating or reputation to pump...

I was pushed on the right and cursed on the left. Well, yes, I'm big, I take up a lot of space.

"Next station..."

Maybe I should buy a bike. I don't like them, it hurts to fall off them. Or run home to get my license? But how to do it safely?

As usual, as soon as I thought of my mother, she called. Most surprisingly, she didn't offer to convince me to give up the bet, only to persuade me to be more careful and circumspect. I was so sullenly acquiescing, I even forgot to ask about the license. Well, well, anyway, I do not want to go to the cab. There are no soap operas to watch, and all the time people behind me. Brrh.

Where else is there a daily payout? Webcam is not an option! Everything else is twice a month. Not an option.

This time the conditions of the quest were not so crazy. Just to walk first three hundred meters to the right, then three hundred meters to the right again, then three hundred meters again... And I came out to the same crossing that I had passed ten minutes before. Apparently, so that I had a ritual square outlined in my maps? All communities practice ritualistic pounding of employees. The army is into drills, programmers are into rallies, and couriers draw patterns s on the map of the city.

I did not find the right door at once, the orientation photo was taken in the daytime, and now even without a flashlight, the iron visor with the semicircular "Children's Art House" was lost in the shadows. In addition, the bell did not give anything, no one answered, had to knock on the door with his fist for a long time, finding a place where the booming was the most resounding. Finally, they opened the door for me. The client stared first at me, then at the box with its jingling contents, and nodded.

"Brothers, the knives have been delivered!"

And then, from behind his back, came a tearful sound: "Help! Help! They're killing me!"

I glanced at the faded sign to the right of the door: Theater of alternative performances

Gotcha.

"Rehearsing?"

The client jerked his head: "Y-yes, rehearsing."

Suddenly someone yelled behind him, then there was the sound of a chainsaw starting up and a triumphant shout: "Now you will feel it!"

The box was ripped out of my hands, the door slammed shut with a clang, and then something began to rattle behind it, as if they were really trying to saw through it. There was something noisy about them. And there are people living in the house!

*Buzzz*

That's it, the quest is over, I can go to a hostel.

I was tired. Even more than yesterday. This work just drains my energy! Just like any other job.

The hostel receptionist greeted me almost cordially, took my money, even chirped something about "how was your day". I smiled politely aside, then thanked her for her service, clarified the prices, and wandered off to the kitchen. Not to eat, but to wash; these skinny brats can wear the same T-shirt for three days, but people started crawling away from me yesterday.

Then I ironed it: not because a messenger has to look good and blah blah blah, but there's no place to dry it. It turned out pretty good; my dad trained me for the army, and in theory I know how to iron my clothes, even by lying on them with a mattress. But the beds here are the wrong system. The men sitting next to me did not pay attention to me, and I did not listen to their work problems, and judging by the fact that no one fell on the floor with laughter, I did it more or less correctly.

As I pulled the curtain, I finally remembered that I had been working all day for the money and checked the application. Yes, it was paid in full, twice as much as yesterday. I had to buy sports pants because wearing only underpants is somehow not cozy.

Sport pants with three lines, an alcoholic tank top, and learning how to squat.

Combined delivery is complete!

You did a great job, bonus points are awarded!

Bonus points can be spent in our store!

There are exclamation points all over the place. For the sake of curiosity checked the assortment, not enough for jewelry to upgrade status, but it is possible to exchange for cash. Yeah, right - pay only when closing the next package, and less than if you take a package with B3! Invented to weed out the greedy and stupid, that is, for potential permanent employees.

*Buzzz*

I jumped up. Wow, did I fall asleep sitting down? What have we got here?

Evaluation of quest performance...

Summable Beginner's Bonus...

The prize box is available.

Apply your nose...

I applied my forehead, then my finger. My knee didn't work either. After trying almost every part of my body, I was convinced that it didn't work. I gave up, poked my nose.

There was another flicker and a bunch of multicolored sparks:

The award is received:

The item - the key to special assignments.

The item - deliverer scanner.

It's all bullshit again.

I habitually put the phone under my pillow, listened to the screams from the next room, plugged in my earplugs, and fell asleep with determination.

* * *

RiP · Feb 17, 2022

Chapter 3

* * *

A sip of coffee and then back to work: "Hello! Courier delivery."

Click of the intercom, go in. Leave packages, step away from the door, make sure they are received, close the order in the app. Done, next.

On the third day I suddenly realized that to get an order it is not necessary to go to the base and stand at the counter, it is possible to start a shift anywhere. I could see why it was only on the third day - apparently, my character wasn't needed yet, and the writers had to make do with the main cast. I'll be introduced later.

Well, that gives me time to deal with my personal problems.

Unobvious hint - in the usual delivery all running and running, no time to break, and you can not refuse the order, payments will be cut, but if you take a "system quest", then there is a lot of time. There is no timer until the shift is not closed, no record is kept. I need time to get out somewhere to buy small things - a tracksuit, towels, soap and so. Just ordering in my custom sizes is not an option, I have to measure. But I also need to earn money, and score points. That is, I need in the first half of the day to fulfill the norm, and the second to take the "quest" and quietly go about my business. Only the quest needs to be rich, with a lot of bonuses.

Of course, there had to be some hidden "buts". And so it turned out: everything rich in bonus points either weighed like a tank or was delivered to far away. Which to choose - weight or distance?

Also, my character now had the "Key to Special Tasks" in the inventory. It was a logical trick to reward good work with even more difficult work. The key gave me a mission of the "hard and far" level, apparently, so that the courier wouldn't have to choose. But promised to charge for it as for the three normal "quests", which is not bad.

The item - a courier scanner

Activate it?

Yes/no

Yes.

The little man took his glasses out of his bag, shook his hand, opened them, and put them on.

Scanner function unlocked

It turned out to be another scam. A simple filter is available in another tab... although not so simple. Drawing - my respects! Although, to be honest, the last time I used something like that was back at school, who knows what wonders were invented. For a while I was surprised that almost every object has its caption or additional drawings, but with this kind of stuffing content is simple - you have a few thousand messengers, give each a "quest" for a funny description and in a month they will name everything in the world. Put the smartest ones to edit, and the dumbest ones to order object types... Although where to get the processing power for all this? However, in the iron, I am not an expert.

I admired the girl in shorts walking by. And I'm not filming her ass, so don't smile and wink, stranger! Better look at what she has a fluffy tail! Oh, no, don't look, you won't appreciate it anyway. That's for delivery boys only!

In addition to the fun, there was a constant quest to "catch a miracle," in which all the same bonus points were awarded for especially good shots. Not very generous, but it is clear why - it turns work into an interesting activity! There's a virtual spider the size of a dog in the shade of a tree...

Click.

Five points were awarded!

They react quickly, so it's all automatic.

I saw off a fellow deliveryman who flashed into the distance on a scooter. The scanner showed that he had, first, short horns on his head, and, second, feet with hooves. It's clear why he's on a scooter, it must be uncomfortable. However, no points were given for this picture. No need to discredit your employer. Although there were enough goat-footed people among the green and yellow delivery boys.

I stared and twirled my phone in every direction as I made my way to the office. Yes, apparently it was a standard pattern because a third of the people in the common room had goatee feet.

"Hello, everyone!"

Now the only people sitting there were Brute, who had the status of "Slacker 7" over his head, and Abstinent, "Self-taught Sorcerer 8". The first waved but was too lazy to respond, and the second didn't notice. By the way, who am I? I only found a mirror in the bathroom - God, taking selfies in the bathroom mirror! How low you have fallen... "Delivery boy, 2 lv."

Well, at least not the first.

"H-hey?"

The curtain parted slightly, and the storekeeper looked out cautiously. Then he reached his "gun" to the screen with the "quest" I had chosen and ducked back in. A minute later he came back, threw a small package, and disappeared again. Now, where do we go from here? Crap, first to the train station, then thirty minutes by train - and try not to do it, it's a quest. Two hours of work... But on the other hand, there are half-hour runs, sit and have fun. It's not with a pack of mineral water three kilometers in five minutes!

While waiting for the train, I entertained myself with the scanner. There were no more tailed girls, although the program pleased me with statuses like "The Most Ordinary Man of 22 lv." or "Smile at me and die 17 lv." It's so hard to resist! He grinned at me with his fangs, noticing that he was being filmed, but the shuttle was already taking me away.

There are so many new products that you can't keep up with them all. It could very well be that this scanner has been out of fashion for three years and that's why Deliver bought it. This is the age of running - you have to move your feet very quickly to stay in place. It used to be better. I guess.

"The platform Dachnoe, the doors open."

I had to get out of the last door of the last wagon, and then jump off the platform and follow the path into the woods. So I did, but something went wrong because after about five minutes the path disappeared, human voices died down, and a wall of trees muffled all the sounds from the railroad, not allowing me to get my bearings. The app showed me that I was somewhere in Antarctica, and I even agreed with it to some extent. In search of life, I rushed back and forth, jumped over some ditches with water, tried to find moss on trees, streams, bears, at least someone, and was already estimating under which bush I would have to sleep, remembering what to rub against to get fire, when suddenly...

This smell is unmistakable!

And since it's here, it means there are people here!

My nose was better than my eyes and hearing. Turning back and forth, I caught the change and walked to the smell of freshly baked muffins. Two minutes and I was back in civilization! It's a shame to get lost within three hundred meters of a holiday village!

And people have lived here for a long time, there's a house all blackened from time, and the fence is covered in moss. The scanner, having thought about it, drew a horse skull to the roof ridge, three times bigger than the real one, and a human skull on each post. I agree, it's more authentic.

Click.

Maybe they'll give me a few more points.

"Hosts? Hey, hey, who's home?"

It's quiet, which is nice. I don't want to talk to some energetic guard dog, because I can't run up those gullies, and I can only climb the fence. To the skulls, heh.

"Who are you?"

They said on the other side of the fence. From the sound of her voice, an elderly woman.

"Delivery! Package for you. Where can you sign for it?"

Behind the fence the bushes rattled pensively, then they called back: "Go there."

I did not understand where exactly, so I moved toward the sound, listening to the footsteps and muttering from the other side. The reception did not surprise me, I had already heard a lot in the chat room. The world is full of unfortunate and extraordinary people.

There were no fewer than three bolts on the mighty gate. The lady of the farm, pushing them aside, inquired:

"How did you even find me?"

I answered honestly: "I moved at the smell!"

"Then come on in, sniffer..."

The cottager lady was clearly not expecting my visit, so she was digging in the garden in her usual dacha attire. She was wearing rags so she wouldn't get dirty, a headscarf so she wouldn't get hot, and her face was covered by the edge, probably from the gnats, only her nose sticking out.

And a large machete in her hand, which she did not let out, making it look like she was escorting me.

And it smells so good I don't even want to leave. All animals, from bunnies to mushroom pickers, should run out of the woods to smell like that.

"Do you sell pastries?"

"Not."

"Then will you gift it to me? Well, like in a fairy tale - to feed and water..."

"And put you to bed? Well, I can do that!"

She suddenly cheered up, and I felt better all at once. It's better to crawl through gullies when you're full! All I got today was a cup of coffee and a "wheat sprout sandwich," which was canceled. Not enough for lunch. I could lose weight that way. Then how can I justify my failures in life?

After handing over the packets and checking the application, I turned my head, looking at the site. It was a bit rusty, too dreary. The berry bushes are covered with cobwebs, but the apple trees are just a sight to behold. Some of the apples are white and some are quite red, is it really the way to plant them? Pollination, no? But in general, the impression has created some kind of pristine, as if it grew itself. In some ways, even beautiful, though slightly disturbing. Vasnetsov, naturally.

"Eat it, it's delicious."

"Thank you!"

I took a big bun, but before I could take a bite, I took a customary picture of it in front of the dish. The ugly scanner lit it up like a mountain of mold, and in my hand was a huge piece of a spider web with flies. No credit to the developers, I lost my appetite! That's all right, he'll run through the woods and be back in no time. Holding the muffin in my hand I turned the phone to the apple trees, the scanner flashed a selection of options...

"Don't move! Stay down!"

Don't move or stay down?

The question, though, was rhetorical. They had already thrown me down and quickly wrapped my arms behind my back, so the bun and the phone flew away. I tried to breathe as little as possible, just in case, my face pressed into the floor. The woman squealed and hissed, the metal hissed and some kind of crackling sound, as if with a shocker. Yeah, it smelled like ozone, probably a taser.

The cottager, who had managed to escape into the next room, screamed again, but almost immediately fell silent.

"Illegal Trafficking Unit... Where are you taking her? Put it down! Inspector Rainin. Documents?"

I reached for my passport, trying not to make any sudden movements. The inspector, who had pressed me to the floor, snatched it out of my hands, rustled the pages, and read it out with an expression:

"Marius Yulievich Koziakin, oops." And, with a chuckle, he clarified: "And who is Yuri Gievich to you?"

"Julius Gayevich," I corrected mechanically. I did not have to finish; the man chuckled, grabbed me by the scruff of the neck, and pulled me to my feet in one motion:

"Guys, Yulik's son is working on a delivery? There is a spare growing up!" And returning the document specified: "Why are you in the delivery, then?"

I brushed myself off, looking for my phone: "Father kicked me out of the house."

Now everyone was laughing. From the grandmother, I could hear only gasps from the next room, and there were about five strong "inspectors" around.

Sometimes it seems like everywhere I go, I find either my dad's or my mom's acquaintances. It's clear that I usually "poke around" in our circle, but still! Maybe that's why I got into games because at least none of my ancestors knew about them. They had an opinion, yes, but it was not supported by anything.

"Well, give my regards to Gaius Adrianovich."

I expected him to say hello to the father, but apparently, the grandfather is more respected by them.

"How is he doing?"

"What could happen with him?" I pocketed mine, looked sadly at the bun that had been crushed in the commotion, and shrugged. "He sits at the cottage, reading books. When he's not writing."

"Are you visiting him?"

"I'm not crazy."

He nodded, apparently acquainted. Of course, he did, if he send "hello"! My grandfather must have been a teacher there, right? I do not like to go to him, he always starts pestering me with stories about the old days, and always in such a tone, as if it all happened to him.

A professor-historian, what can you take from him? All in the past. Thank him for my rare name... And a rare patronymic. If by some miracle children happen to be born, I won't let them go anywhere near him until they go to school!

"Am I to be interrogated now?"

"The debriefing is called it." He pointed his phone familiarly at me and commented, "Delivery Courier, B3, and she has e-group hallucinogens. No, that's clear, but if anything, I'll find you."

"Then I'm going? By the way, what happened here? That's a first time with me."

Rainin, who was watching his employee gut an ancient-looking sideboard, absent-mindedly tossed it over his shoulder: "She grows all kinds of things. Have you seen the apple trees in the garden? Go on, before the procurator's office gets here."

On the other hand, there is something in all these acquaintances. I didn't have to "testify" until the evening, for example.

Already on the train I suddenly wondered what the cops had to do with the Delivery System. Or does this department somehow cover delivery, and do they have a separate entrance to keep an eye on us? Actually, if you think about it, you can deliver a lot of things.

And I guess I don't like being a courier.

It's much more interesting to be... a Messenger!

The app habitually glitched and wouldn't respond until I freaked out and slammed my finger into the screen with such force that I even got frightened. But it worked:

Do you want to change your name?

Yes/no

Yes.

The cost of changing the system name is 500 points

Damn, I don't have enough for a ring... All right, I'll grind it tomorrow.

To activate, put your nose

That's how one resigns oneself to daily humiliation...

We are pleased to welcome a new Delivery System Messenger!

The sound of fanfares, sparks, fireworks. Yes, yes, thank you. I know I'm cool.

I had already slipped the phone into my pocket when it buzzed again.

Your rating is recalculated according to your activity.

I looked in the character tab, and the status bar above my head reads "Messenger Marius, C1". This is for me for what, just for one new quest? Or did the inspector somehow report to his superiors about my heroic participation in the capture of a dangerous criminal? Come to think of it, I do not even know who is in charge of the system, I saw only the registrar in the office and the same workers. What if there are random rewards and punishments, like in Amazon?

I wasn't too lazy to look through the available orders - there's a whole new tab! Large and with a lot of expensive quests, three hundred to four hundred bonus points! Now a day I can stuff myself on cheap jewelry on the char and score all the slots. Although there are fewer simple deliveries. I guess the higher the rating, the more responsible orders are issued. Do not trust the delivery of something expensive and fragile to someone too lazy to even understand the application?

L - Logic.

On the other hand, do I need it, to move around the region with valuables in a bag? Purely for the money, on the contrary, it would be better to keep a low profile.

While comparing premium percentages in different tabs, a new one popped up:

Please, Messenger, read the changes in the job description

It was all the same, at first glance. It is impossible to compare, the old ones do not open, now only "class C instructions". It seems to have added "responsible adherence to the navigator's instructions" and one more control picture when issuing... So, what's in the bonuses? Bonus payments - plus five percent per package, the ability to form orders, a personal card slot, an extra ten minutes of personal time...

One line immediately caught my attention: "housing from the company"!

It's probably a gloomy basement cloister, but it says "individual accommodations"! It was worth spending the bonuses to change the name. Need to talk to my colleagues, find out about the minimum...damn, that's why they're only on the minimum! If they just give free housing for status, it's a freebie! Obvious bug in the System, but still...

Hostel, we'll say goodbye soon!

As if eavesdropping, the system closed my day and paid me what I had earned - alas, still on a Class B basis. Not a penny for nothing to a working man! Fine, I have money and plenty of time. What shall we do now?

To begin with, I ate. I looked longingly at the familiar names of chain coffee shops, but I don't make enough money for these bourgeois establishments. I reached out to order something, and I could hardly resist. Went into the store, long looked through all sorts of things under the watchful eye of the guard ("Warrior of Cerberus clan, 4 lv."). Finally, I found a recipe on YouTube, which I think I can repeat. Rice and chicken...

I couldn't resist buying an apple. Healthy food is the way to save money!

And to encourage me, I added candy.

That's how it is - you buy food for a week and pay fifty bucks for two bags with a lot. And you take a chocolate bar and a coffee, "You owe a thousand million money!" Why does nature have such a hatred for people who like sweets?!

Now to get the laundry, then home to the hostel. To do culinary experiments on living people. If the rice doesn't work, I'll treat the neighbors. They'll be fine to eat it with wine... I can't wait to get a proper place to live...

* * *

Link to the RR. There are a couple of chapters more.

RiP · Feb 17, 2022

Chapter 4

* * *

There are pleasant moments in the life of the courier.

I mean, besides the free munchies from canceled orders.

For example, in the morning I decided that I couldn't give a shit about this job. And allowed me to lie in bed for an extra hour. It was a real pleasure because.

In the evening, while other hostel dwellers were explaining to me exactly how to fry the chicken and why carrots must be cut in straws rather than circles, I suddenly started chatting with the people around me. It turned out that, for the most part, they were quite decent people, and some shared my hobbies. It's a bit unusual to discuss the plot twists of Morrowind in the middle of the night with someone who was playing it before I was born. If he was sober at the same time, I'd love to have him on the stream as a guest. By the way, can we do a stream from the life of a courier?

However, I over-salted the rice anyway. That's okay, you learn from your mistakes.

Since I was given a new category, it makes sense to try new "quests". There are more bonuses out there, but it's worth figuring out how hard the work itself is. In theory, the better worker you are, the more you get loaded, and I don't really like that. It might even be worth it to be late somewhere or to take some days just for regular delivery so I don't stand out.

The idea that I actually wanted a room and to sit quietly at the computer didn't seem so obvious anymore. Of course, having my room is cool, especially when one of the neighbors is poisoned by something and farts uncontrollably in his sleep.

But...

There's something about this running around. I guess after all these years spent pumping out new and new characters, it makes me feel uncomfortable if I don't develop at least something. And the process itself - you kind of wander mindlessly, people, houses, clouds floating by. But at the same time, you know exactly that you are needed, that they are waiting for you... ...hoping... ...swearing... even though they gave you the wrong address.

It was all a morning thought, and in the evening I would object to it with indignation, and the weather was only nice for now, but it would change in the fall, but that would be later! I opened the plastic curtain separating the seventh counter from the general hall, as usual, without hesitation. Oh, here's the main character. What else could a disheveled, bespectacled, skinny, and slouchy man be? Only a future Marty Sue.

Delivery Courier - 1 lv.

A newbie. And he is already being introduced to the business.

"Hello, everyone!"

Brute distracted himself for a moment with a wave of his hand, Abstinence either nodded or shuddered again, you couldn't see under the hood, and the Old Man only looked up from the newspaper and back down.

The lecture, meanwhile, continued: "The main thing is not to take too many system quests. Yes, you'll get stuck in them deeper, and although the rates are higher there, believe me, it's not worth it! Did you take the warranty?"

The kid with the glasses nodded: "Of course!"

"Then you have two ways..."

If you're the protagonist, they explain everything to you and give you wise mentors. But if you're a "story-supporter," then sit back and pretend that you've known everything for a long time. The main thing is not to move your ears so obviously.

"First of all, you can just go B1, B2. Three at most! Three you will be given with a box, all newcomers are given it, it also runs the application. There's not much of it Unreality, the warranty works, all right, if you watch yourself. Or you break the seal and start grinding points. It's every man for himself, you can do as this romantic," he nodded at Abstinence. "You can get to E without any gadgets. But then don't whine, it's all your fault."

"Where do they pay better?"

"In Google and the Presidential Administration. This is a Delivery service, where are the big bucks coming from? There are opportunities, but don't be a fool, unreal is a suck-in. Before you realize it, you've got a tail, tentacles instead of arms, and eyes all over your body! You work a bit and jump off when it's not too late"

Eh, maybe I should switch to sidekicks, or become a henchman altogether? Then you're almost guaranteed to survive the story... although that's if the genre is defined correctly. In tragedy, the sidekick can still survive if the hero has to be killed - someone has to return the family gold watch to his son, right? But in horror...

I glanced at Abstinence, who was swaying dejectedly on the floor against the wall. He was working so hard that he'd made it to the fifth grade, wasn't he? And I'm rushing up there, too. A bit of such life, and then we'll be sitting together.

Shaking it off, I pulled out my phone and noted the start of my shift.

Then I asked out of nowhere: "Does anyone know about employee accommodation? Is it a worthwhile topic?"

Brute picked up the phone, looked at me through it, and replied with a grim grin: "For you, condemned, maybe. And you," he turned to the kid with the glasses. "You'd better stay out of it. You might get eaten there."

I objected out of a sense of contradiction: "Oh, come on. I live in a hostel, it's certainly not worse. And anyway, easy work. take it and deliver it. Legs hurt in the evening, but you can buy a bike. Then it will hurt not only legs, but also back, arms, and ass! But you'll have time to go everywhere!"

Old man, turning the page of the newspaper, suddenly falsely sing: "In Madagascar, in Colombo and the Sahara, I've been everywhere, I was around the world!"

Brute nodded: "Baron is definitely one of ours. There are Unrealityt reeks of his adventure."

Baron, it's MC of Baron Munchausen's Narrative of his Marvellous Travels and Campaigns in Russia.

The eyeglass man tried to catch up: "Are folk tales from here, too?"

"No, that's different," Brute didn't take a joking tone. "It's more like the prophets. The stove rides itself, the water goes to the house itself, the pies bake themselves - clearly a retelling of the realities of the twenty-first century by a medieval mystic. A stove is a machine, the water, understandably, the pies are from fast food. The mirror, aka a saucer with an apple on it," he picked up the phone. "Yemelya himself is a typical delivery man. Found his point, bombed to the full, without getting involved in the lower ones, finished the unreal and got out in time."

Tomboy didn't show up, and they didn't pay any attention to me, so I went to the issuing office first, to get the first "quest" packet. The storekeeper, in response to my question about housing, pointed a "thermometer" at me again, and then everything miraculously worked and another tab popped up. Today's technology scares me.

I was delivering "meat" again, and judging by the shape and weight of the roll, it was a tenderloin. The package was securely packed, although I don't understand why they give out both the household goods and fresh products from the same window. Something's going on here with the orders, there's no consumer watchdog on them!

I didn't delve into the delivery, the terms of the "quest" were average idiocy, much more interested in the available list of bonuses for "C1".

To begin with, accommodation turned out to be paid for and was paid in double currency, that is, I could choose what share to pay with money and what share with Delivery bonuses, but bonuses of at least ten percent were mandatory. That is, at least one quest every three days had to be done. I tried to combine everything so that to pay not much more than in the hostel, but also leave bonuses to develop. Sadly convinced that in any case housing will cost twice as much like a bunk with a curtain, I considered the proposed options.

They were like copycats, and some person with a bad sense of humor had put all the pictures through a filter, which made it look like a room... Yes, yes, in the crappiest RPG tavern, at the beginning of the game, when you only have five coppers for the rats you killed.

"Mo-ortal!"

"Your order, thank you for using our Delivery, have a nice day."

I did not take my eyes off the phone, comparing the two pictures, and I did not listen to what the client was wheezing about. Another epidemic, no time for him. Here we need to understand why the variant, which differs only in the presence of a pot with a flower on the window sill, is twice as expensive?

Realizing that, I marked the delivery and almost immediately received the order. As I drove along, I also got into the description of the location... I mean, the lodging. It turned out that the cheap option was booked by someone, and I would have to move out as soon as the main tenant arrived. Makes sense in some ways, he left the shift home, his place was immediately rented to a new tenant. Did they at least change the linens?

The list of services was almost the same as what was offered in the hostel. But there was an important difference - they were free! What does that mean? To be realistic, the iron is probably broken, the washing machine is dead, and so on. However, everyone winged the two pluses. Separate housing and location - almost downtown! Plus an hour of sleep in the morning, plus an hour for personal business in the evening. If it's okay with the security, then you can put a computer and right after work gets a little fun for the benefit of the purse. That is to pump reputation and the level in the real world and do the same thing for less money but in the game.

That didn't sound very interesting. I was eager to get back to my old life, wasn't I?

"Delivery, please open."

Oh, a tip. It makes sense, the order is all mineral water and juices, how I would carry them without a bag - I can not imagine. For delivery quite reasonably dump either the heaviest or what takes a long time. As has been said: Study, Ivanushka, or else you'll be like a fool with a bag traveling through towns and villages.

Apparently, because of the "quest package" I had taken, the orders piled up one by one, not a minute of idle time. I finished the last of the mandatory ones after five hours, then returned to the "quest hub," picked up another package, and went to finish my shift. Luckily, the list of stupid "go here, bounce here, cackle there" ended with the banal "leave at the door, leave without looking back".

It seems that the "quests" are also part of the training so that newcomers are not intimidated by the demands imposed by customers. Although it may be part of the brainwashing so that we lose our minds and our will, relying on the app for everything. Or in general, a fiction of a world evil that sits in the center of the web and delights in my torment. Laugh while you can, unknown owner of Delivery! I will avenge my humiliation yet!

The money was transferred as soon as I closed the day. The unreal, you say? Such timely payment is really unreal! Even thought to take another slot for a couple of hours, but what if I need to buy something in the room, and it's evening? I'll have my room, right? Go ahead.

I had to look for a house with service accommodation by a complicated trajectory, almost like in the "quest. After wandering through the alleys and passing by the right alleyway three times, I still turned and was surprised to find that behind the huge pompous Old-buildings there were two or three-story dilapidated houses. I headed for one of them.

"Hello? Is anybody there?"

"Who? You?"

The guy looked so much like a storekeeper that I automatically presented my phone with the app open. The guy didn't disappoint, took out a "thermometer" and counted something, then nodded and moved silently toward the stairs. Hey, he didn't even ask me what number I'd chosen...

"This is the only one left. Are you moving in?"

"I will."

"Fourth floor. Let's go."

Isn't the house two floors? Probably an attic, and a basement count.

The corridors are dark, the doors are shabby. But the smell is nicer here, it smells like chlorine. So they clean regularly, that's a plus.

"Is there a bathroom here?"

"Common."

I'm depressed, but what do you want for that kind of money? A view of the Eiffel Tower?

"Here."

Looking over his shoulder, I compared it to the picture on my phone. The bunk on the left is there, the closet on the right is there. The washbasin to the right of the door was a pleasant surprise! Table, chair, rug on the floor. All old and kind of boring. Exactly for five coppers from the quest...

I went in and looked in the closet just for the sake of interest. A messenger bag and a cape.

"Somebody's stuff is here."

"Throw it out."

"Why don't you take it?"

"No way I'm going in there."

And the guy quickly left down the corridor. I only had time to pop out with a question: "Where is the key?!"

He poked silently at what I thought was a light switch on the wall next to the door. Look at that, they didn't have money for repairs, but they had the money for a non-contact key! I put my phone to the panel, and the Delivery app flipped through the pages:

Payment for the room with points is available...

Domestic magic, as it were. Strictly by Clarke.

After thinking about it, I decidedly jerked the slider toward money. The points would come in handy. After I confirmed, I received a new message:

Service room paid for (С1, entry-level, "tavern") Term of validity... Possible payment in advance...

I'll make some money and think about it but for now, I'll stop for a day. Maybe they have ghosts here, huh!

I collapsed on the bed with pleasure, and it creaked, but without threat. It apparently wasn't going to fall apart. I put the phone to charge - the socket was not so much Soviet as maybe even Imperial-era. There were a twisted cord and porcelain holders. Vintage! Good thing I didn't have to pay extra for it.

From my bag I took out a package with a towel and rags - yes, it's kind of against the rules to carry it there, but I don't have anywhere else to go. Excuse me, dear customers, I have everything laundered. I stuck my toothbrush in the glass on the washbasin. What else? Find out where the bathroom and kitchen are. Get a thermos and an inexpensive kettle. The room will cost me a third of a day's "lazy" earnings, and in general, I don't even care about anything else, I can live here for a month or two. But after all, Daddy's going to start "pretending"! How can you, fall to the bottom and not bounce back! Flounder and whip the butter with your paws!

In frustration, I sat up on the bed and pulled up my bag... Oh, it wasn't mine.

Apparently, the unknown colleague left all the System items here, fleeing from this paradise. Didn't Brute say everyone gets a bag? Uh, I thought I was special.

I examined the bag, then opened it. In the "file compartment," that is, in the back pocket, was a notebook and an oblong box. It was strange, everything around me was dull and wiped clean, but the bag, though it was in the closet, was dusty.

With doubt, I held the box in my hand and looked around, then shook it over my ear. Nothing rattles, no ticking, no swearing, and no asking me to put it back. Well, I am not a rat, I just want to see what could be necessary for the work of a colleague. Maybe I should get one, too?

Come on, who am I lying to? Ever since I was a kid, I loved going into other people's houses, opening drawers in cupboards and desks, pulling out books from shelves. Behind every hairpin or coin is a real story. Let it be written by no one, but it's real!

People are nowhere near as interesting as their stuff. Weird, isn't it?

The box, the size of an eyeglass case, opened with a palpable, but inaudible click. Inside is a dark velvet surface with slits. And in one of those slits was a simple silver bezel.

I see, the delivery lady lived here and this is her costume jewelry.

I took hold of the ring - smooth, weighty. Silver?

In the notebook, all the pages are handwritten in incomprehensible writing. Probably a girl from somewhere in Central Asia, writing a diary. That's how you live and work, and then only a bag and a raincoat are left of you.

I put the notebook and the case back in the closet and took the raincoat to try it on. In theory, it is sizeless and if no one needs it, why not carry it? By the way, the bag the app counted and gave an increase in rating, but what happens if I put on a raincoat and take a picture before the shift?

Apparently, the game moment was processed more thoroughly than the work. Because for the introduction to the system raincoat was enough to take a picture of it without putting it on and it immediately popped up:

Branded cape (all-weather)

Would you like to equip?

Yes/no

I dragged the icon over to the little man, and he wrapped himself with pleasure and began his usual bouncing in the rain. It turned red, then blue, and again.

My status was immediately changed to "C2".

I remembered about the ring when it bumped against the plastic of the phone. It turned out that I had already put it on. However, my predecessor had mighty paws, if the ring fits loosely on my wieners. Or vice versa, it was loose and that's why she left it on? Or is it some sort of award, like "for a thousand deliveries on time"? And that's why it's sizeless...

Click, what do they tell us? Right:

Teleport ring: 178/200

Would you like to activate it?

Yes/no

Hmm, what can such a ring do in the in-game Delivery System? I do not know, maybe somehow change the time of delivery? Like, take away penalties or something?

I clicked "yes" and almost immediately a red message popped up:

Attention, activation of D-rank and above items is not possible with an active warranty.

Not quite sure what this has to do with it, but went to the settings, for a minute there among all sorts of incomprehensible stuff, finally found the checkbox and tap it.

Oh...

I gingerly fumbled for the floor beneath me, sat down, looked around again, and then screamed.

* * *

Link to the RR. There are a couple of chapters more.

RiP · Feb 18, 2022

Chapter 5

* * *

Mom always said she wanted a smart son.

But was born a beautiful one.

On the other hand - who would have thought that all this could be real!. I was applying for a job as a delivery boy! Not a mystery-thriller hero!

I wrapped myself more tightly in the blanket, tucked my knees together, cursing my belly, and stared again at the bags against the far wall. The ring and the cape were next to them. Something had to be done about all this.

The worst thing is that I kind of understand that all this really happened. But what I really miss is a note from the psychiatrist and the test results saying that there were no hallucinogens in my blood. Although it is possible to calm down in a much simpler way, all I have to do is go to my phone, open the app, and slide the switch to "on".

I've done that before and the worst part was that with the warranty on, I didn't want to turn it off at all. Why? I remember that it is very unpleasant, and besides, everything is clear - it's for my good!

The second time I turned it off by inertia - I had to activate the ring, didn't I? And then I sat on the floor again, squealing sadly. It wasn't so agitated any more, it was just a bit of a shock... again...

I turned it back on, caught my breath, remembered that I hadn't activated the ring again, and called myself an idiot. I turned it off.

I put everything by the wall, climbed on the bed, wrapped myself in a blanket, and there I sit so beautiful. How can a phone app affect a real... more or less... person? I guess if I turn on the warranty now, the thought would be in the vein of "nanobots" and "Hypno-exposure." But without it, the only thought is, did you sign the contract? Did you sign it? And now your little soul is being controlled by demons!

And the phone is just a magic object.

Brrrh, what nonsense, I bought it myself.

Maybe I accidentally got a sample from the secret labs?

Yeah, and the customer with the wolf face was from the labs, too? And the woman who gave me rotten food, too? Although the guy in that department did say something about hallucinogens. But how did I manage to get into all this?

It's one thing when everything happens in a manhwa with an ordinary Korean - his mother is sick, always, he has a younger sister who needs to be enrolled into the most expensive university for some reason. Community college is too difficult for her.

It's quite different when everything happened in the home country. Casual passerby, well, I could have chosen a different delivery, couldn't I? Without the system?

Or... are they all like that?!

Uh-huh, and they fight. Losers are taken out of town in bags, which is why they are so big. Although I would argue about "taken out," we do carry some "meat," don't we?

I sighed again. The hallucinogens aren't going to help me cram a block of six 1.5L bottles plus five 1L juice packets into that bag, and that's only half the order! But it did go in, didn't it? And, remarkably, no one around here was surprised - were they also taking out a warranty? Consequently, I am dealing with a phenomenon. And my show is not "comic", but "supernatural".

At least it's not "snuff horror".

The phone bleeped, and I jumped in fright, but it was just a reminder of the mandatory wearing of a mask by all couriers. Everyone wears one anyway, some around their necks, some on their sleeves, what more do I need to remind them? Okay, just sitting around wasn't an option, either.

Standing up, I approached, very carefully, the bag. How do I check its real capacity and carrying capacity? And if I had to check it, what would it get me? An ordinary beginner's artifact... what will happen if someone from the outside finds it? Nothing will happen, there were a lot of people sitting in the hall, but I was the only one who saw the sign. And I was the only one who saw the spider under the tree.

Hmm, but I only saw the spider in the app and then sign in person. How so?

I was hesitant to wiggle my hand over the artifacts, but I made up my mind and took the ring. I had been carrying the bag for two days, and nothing extra had grown, so I could move on to the next stage. After convincing myself of the reasonableness and necessity of another idiotic act, I first examined the ring from all sides, finding nothing. Then I pointed the "scanner" at it.

Teleport ring: 178/200

Would you like to activate it?

Yes/no

I'm about to activate it, and I'll be teleported somewhere. I'm not so beautiful! Putting it back, I checked my bags and cape again. No change, so it's permanent. At the sight of the bags I suddenly had an idea - if they could really hold something bigger than themselves, then why not check on the bags themselves? One bag into another and see what happens!

That's how the end of universes comes when the bottom staff starts playing around with the equipment. I'll check tomorrow.

I took a package of puffs and an apple out of my bag and looked out into the hallway. It was quiet, no one was there. On the wall, two doors away from mine was a plan of the dormitory, and I followed it into the kitchen, where I found an amusing message:

Whoever steals utensils from this house shall be cursed!

Well, okay, you've convinced me. I won't take any chances.

While the kettle was boiling, empty thoughts flashed through my head with no content. Before, I would have thought I was tired, but now I don't even know. What if there are thought parasites sucking everything out here? Or is it the effects of the shock? Or maybe the fact that I switched the warranty on and off a few times has damaged my mind? Come on, nothing shakes the spirit of the person who went through "Dark Souls" on the keyboard!

On my way back to my room, I remembered something and looked up at the stairs. At least two more floors. At least six more floors in a two-story house. Okay.

3-in-1 coffee again, food from the store again. Dinner at home now, there's meat and a delicious side dish! No, I won't cry... I'm an adult now.

As usual, the food calmed me down.

I laid everything out next to each other on the bed and began to study the app with a clear eye. To begin with, it turned out that the navigation was much more extensive than what I had used under warranty. It was a pity that most of the tabs were simply inactive.

So, let's say - I thought the app was glitchy at first, but it only comes on at certain points. Like what? Well, I took the bag and it started working stable. So next to the system items?

Nope. The first day I ran like that, and it worked! But it only turned on when I approached the addressee. So the addressee is part of the system, too? And all these obscure people with obscure things are somehow obscurely involved in all this?

Let's start at the beginning - I carry strange things to strange addresses, and I do it in strange ways. And the weird thing is, with the warranty on, I think everything that is happening is perfectly normal, even finding plausible explanations? What should I assume?

That Daddy would be sure to pick on me if I told him that I earned some of my money delivering magical ingredients to witches.

On the other hand, the witch was caught by men who knew him. What does that mean? That he knows a hell of a lot of people, but I already know that. Besides, people are working with us on the delivery who don't see the writing on the wall and don't notice that a third of their colleagues have legs like satyrs. "They Live," it turns out, is a semi-documentary. The parent has nothing to do with witchcraft, and he's a very down-to-earth person. Besides, how do you prove that miracles exist to someone who can't see them?

Especially since they can affect the mind. Muggle scare spells, that's for sure.

I leaned back against the wall, twirling the ring in my fingers. No, magic and all that is great, but in half an hour and with only one little tantrum, I just accepted it all? Even hysterical, if to think about it, more along the lines of "how dare they manipulate me!" than "geez, I could have been eaten!"

I think it was all because of cartoons. My parents watched the Soviet ones, the realistic ones. I got stories like the one about the revived utensil that sank to the bottom and worked in fast food. I grew up knowing that if you tap on the bricks with a magic wand, it will open a doorway to a magical world!

How can you worry about reality after that? It's a habit from childhood, there's nothing you can do about it.

Or are the walls just soaked in a sedative medicine?

Although, of course, it's all a bit stressful.

The warranty is with me as long as the phone is around. But it's possible to step away accidentally, isn't it?

I tried to remember when the phone was out of range... I couldn't. Now you can go out in the street without your underpants and it's okay, but you can't do it without your phone, you start to panic.

That was a clever idea.

Sighing (alas, not hard enough - for a heavy sigh you need five or six more pies) I continued to study the application. Almost immediately I got the "System-level insufficient" message.

Insufficient, you say?

I looked at the ring, then put it on my little finger, reasoning that I could live without it in case of emergency. I pointed to the camera.

You have been assigned the status "D1" - new tasks are available!

I scratched the back of my head, thinking first that I should take a shower, then I started to think. I didn't activate it, did I? Just put it on and the status went up? I hate games without a manual.

I take it off - "C2", I put it on - "D1".

I do the same, but cover the camera with my finger. The result is the same, the changes are displayed regardless of whether the app sees me or not. Of course, everyone knows that phones eavesdrop on us. But that they also control us with extra-sensory perception is news.

Consequently, it can be considered proof that the application responds to changes... in reality... and, yes, it affects reality itself as well.

Where do they give out rewards for revealing a world conspiracy?

I spit on caution, and I turned on the warranty, and almost nothing changed. Except that half the tabs were gone, the one I wasn't good enough for. I looked at the ring and tapped the back of my head against the wall, turned off the sedative, and poked my finger into the screen.

Yes.

System item activated!

The avatar man caught the ring flying by, put it on his finger (the slot on the side immediately went dark), and then pointed to the ground in front of him, where a blue spot appeared. Then he also pointed somewhere in the distance, an orange one flashed there, and he waved his hand at me, stepping demonstratively on the blue one. Clap, he materialized on the orange, and then a second later, clap, clap, clap again.

Do you mean this thing here is a portal-gan?!

Are I in heaven and my dreams are finally coming true!

I jumped up and without thinking, I put the ring on my index finger, then poked it on the floor in front of me... and yes, there was a blue spot, about five centimeters long. It was like shining a flashlight, weak and in the daytime. Okay, where to now, over there by the wall. Poke - orange, of the same luminosity, almost invisible even in not the brightest room.

And step...

So someone was really being sacrificed there?

It turns out that if you bang your head against the wall, you get some sensible ideas.

I rubbed my forehead and stared at the ceiling, and made a mental note to do magic tests next time, thinking about the consequences. Killing myself against the wall at the beginning of my superhero career was too much. On the other hand, this shake-up... literally... I just needed to finally come to my senses.

To hell with it! What's more important is...

So you're saying that catgirls exist?!

I wanted to jump up, but all I managed to do was roll over on my side with a grunt, then rise carefully, waiting out the turbidity in my head. Yeah, if I jumped like that in front of everyone, there would be bad rumors. Which meant what?

So I need a cloak of invisibility. Or a hat, or something, so no one would see me bouncing around town. Of course, a messenger's cape alone would make the eyes look away... hey, and really, who even looked where they go after the order. No, though, it's just psychological... or is it? Okay, we'll figure it out.

On my way to bed, I left the ring on the table just in case.

So, tell me, dear app, what kind of item is it anyway? And why didn't I see in the warranty that most system "items" have a hidden characteristic?

Okay, a teleport ring, one hundred meter jump, two hundred charges. "Reloading possible at the order desk" - and it only costs a thousand points. Expensive, man! On the other hand a finger here, a finger there, not in a hurry - three seconds to activate, a hundred meters at a time, the total... Great, now I can take a stroll at a hundred kilometers an hour. Or run faster than a race car. But still slower than an airplane. Really, why would I want to rush anywhere?

Bleh - it popped up again that new tasks were available. I have not yet had time to deal with the "С-class", and already pull me on the "E"! Do they have such a shortage of couriers?!

Or...

I looked at the ring.

Or a very large turnover for unnatural reasons.

Suddenly I thought I should call my mom because she's worried.

I couldn't, my phone didn't see the network, only the courier app worked. Am I in another world right now? Or in a subspace pocket? Or do they just turn off all communication here, throwing the courier out into the street? And there they sort of unobtrusively send him an offer to work for another hour or two...

No way!

After visiting the restroom, I returned to my room, looking out the window at the green and very shady courtyard. No sounds, nothing to distract a tired worker. I wanted to know everything, to try everything, to be everywhere, but my gut told me it would be better to do it tomorrow. The courier has a lot of time, so we'll figure them out in the process. The ring gives you a chance to escape from somewhere in time if you get a client from the ogres, so thank you, unknown colleague, for such a setup. You're a lifesaver, and I'll thank you on occasion!

* * *

RiP · Feb 20, 2022

Chapter 6

* * *

Reality is cruel. I looked away and sighed. I was not prepared for this in my life. It's one thing if you play the date sim on the computer, it's easier there - and the list of actions is given, and there is time to think about it, and you can browse the tactics. But what if that's alive? What to start with? There are no savings here, and the reputation a much more complicated than in the game. What to do? Tell it like it is, and what will be? Or go from afar? The question is not the easiest. But from how far away?

I squinted my eyes and sighed again. The girl sitting next to me swayed slightly at the movement of my side and continued to poke her finger at the screen. Not worrying about who's sighing over the ear.

A long, furry ear. With a beautiful tassel on the end.

No, no, I didn't see it that way, only in the app - as soon as I got on the train, I scanned it. What if there are spider webs and arachnids in the corners? But it turned out that the only unusual thing was this girl, a little older than me. If she were younger, I would have been able to figure it out; it was no problem talking to a girl my mother's age, too, but what about this one?

The bad thing is that I kind of understand that the girl probably does have ears and a tail. But you can't touch them, can you? She has claws, too: click-click on the screen, the whole sticker is scratched. Now I can not see the claws, so they look like intricate manicures when sitting next to her. And what to do?

Introducing a girl is a very important moment, especially if she is so unusual. All the little things should be taken into account, and better yet, they should be well thought out in advance. It was easier for parents, in the absence of the Internet social skills pumped by themselves, but we have to master everything at a conscious age...

What to do? Tell it like it is and let it be? Or go in from afar? But how far away? The girl is pretty cute, the haircut is short, the perfume in the morning is not even soul-killing concentration - and most importantly, she definitely has a charm! I mean, two cat ears with tassels.

After looking around and not seeing any judgmental looks - no one cared and obviously wanted to sleep - I finally made the decision: "Sorry. Ahem. Ahem!"

The girl looked at me with displeasure.

"Excuse me, but this is a very important question for me. Does the tail bother you?"

She rolled her eyes briefly, used a short but profane word to describe my interest and her attitude toward it, folded her phone, and strode to the door. All I had to do was raise my hand after her and take a picture... that's what it looked like, really I was just looking at the camera. She have ears, I see. Where's the tail? Under her skirt?

The girl, not unreasonably mistaking me for a pervert with bad habits, snorted, clawed at the rail, and proudly stepped out of the car. Well, swipe left, swipe right, and goodbye. Maybe she's just a tailless breed. I told you, it's complicated. Online I would have been irresistibly witty, managed to find arguments and arguments, she would just be forced to send nudes and immediately it would be clear what's up with the tail... and in reality, you would sit and guess.

Well, two more stops. It's a good time to get something to eat.

Magic is a frightening power.

It was only in the morning that I realized that for two days I had been eating almost nothing! And only when I turned off the warranty did I find that it occupied the place that is usually given to the desire to eat something. It turns out that all the increased appetite - is from nerves? So all this time I was being told the truth?! How could they!

On the other hand, somehow the food under the guarantee tastes better. Or is it just the hotdog so shitty?

Okay... I looked around the wagon with an armed gaze, didn't notice anything, and decided it was safe to think. So, I'm in the middle of something weird. The question is, how do I get anything out of this "something"? The thought of "should I get involved" is irrelevant here, because I definitely should. Somehow it seems to me that even if I throw my phone away, the unknown, invisible monsters won't go anywhere. Yes, I've been told that a new, wonderful and frightening life begins outside my parents' house, but that it's so strange?! So we'll have to get involved.

Since there is nothing like the "University of World Magic" in town (yes, I checked), my only outlet for weirdness is my job at Delivery. Again, I can earn something there, and though it's despicable labor money and not at all a coveted freebie, I like it. And it'll give my dad something to show for it. Besides, the next week promises good weather, so why sit in the room for nothing? There's no computer in there anyway. I'll run around the city and see the wonders hidden from the eyes of normies!

Well, we're not throwing away the teleport ring, are we? It's pretty cool.

Except that it needs something camouflage to match it.

For example:

The Ring of Business Invisibility
Gives temporary invisibility (2 sec)
Active, personal, 200/200 (recharge 20 sec)

And of course, the activation was worth more points! The system was consulted by the guys from EA, for sure! On the other hand, the command was set up personally, so it's possible to mess around. Already know how it will activate!

But first I have to earn money for it. On the one hand, getting a "D" increased the reward for the "quest," on the other hand, I have added expenses for the room. And the rings will have to reload, and there will obviously be a serious expense. Let's see, an average quest on the "B" gives two or two hundred and fifty points. For "C", it's five hundred. It turns out that on the "E", that is, with the equipment of the teleport ring, I have a thousand? Or is the growth linear?

Checking showed that the reward is still about a thousand per quest, though not always. Then we can assume that "E" - two thousand, "F" - four, gain System levels and rule the world! But Abstinence, who seems to be an E, is directly anti-advertising this kind of approach. Why all these wonders if you're sitting in a corner shaking? Consequently, you have to bypass Delivery somehow, find connections to manufacturers. After all, somewhere all these rings are created?

In the meantime, I'll have to take a package with three "quests".

The plan for the day is clear. It's worth thinking about the plan for the month.

There are two ways in any system of leveling. The first is to minimax all the stats and perks, scoring on the grind, and the second - is to break into gray quest clothing in high locations, to be the first to take the top level. The third way, that is, to go quietly in the storyline and enjoy it, does not take into account. Gray mass is not about us! The delivery system also sawed people like me and for people like me. Normal is such a game system training and operation, everything is clear and everything is clear... except tails and ears.

Maybe I should have started with the dog girls. They're supposed to be friendlier? Although come to think of it, these might be some bitches. What's the friendliest animal to meet? According to the movies, it's a dragon, but there are its complications...

Okay, enough of this nonsense - should I go to the high levels or should I collect my gear on a dime? What would I do if I were a Chinese student in a light novel? Find a unique chance that would get me through to the finals, spitting on the people around me.

Well, okay, I'll watch my step more carefully.

"Hey there, Condemned!"

"No way, Slacker! Hello, folks."

I walked over to the counter, handed the phone with the order open to the storekeeper. Brute shook his head reproachfully: "You'd better not put too much effort into the quests. You're going to work yourself up."

The kid with the glasses immediately specified: "Are the levels beneficial in any way?"

"They give more system units and so on..."

It seems that Brute has taken the newbie under his patronage. It's a pity I won't be able to sit and listen. Yesterday I spent three hours on "C", what would they give me on the "D"? Of course, it is more profitable, but here, too, understand their interest, and I still need to do the usual delivery.

Tomboy (I swiped my lens at her - "Beginner Succu, 6 lv.") glanced lazily in my direction but didn't say anything. Should I ask her about her tail? She must have one of her own, judging by her title, with a heart on the end.

However, as soon as I thought about close communication with the girl, forces unpredictable and inexorable intervened.

"Hello, Mom! Yes, I'm fine, I'm just working."

My mother was worried. As usual, when talking to her, it seemed to me that I was at a banquet in a palace, the Duke was in front of me, the ambassador would be after me, so we do not delay, communicate. I told her everything - I live in a slum with a semi-criminal element, work for pennies, eat all sorts of crap, waiting for the end of the world, but everything is good. This calmed my mother down, and she immediately identified the main thing: I was cheerful, full, and busy. Asking me not to disappear and to let me know from time to time that I was still alive, my mother passed out. Yeah, well, she saw me once a week in normal times, when I went down to get food from the fridge. Now, where was I?

I looked around and headed for the subway, reading the description as I went.

The "D" level quest was almost no different from the "C" level. Except that this time the approach was more "exploratory" than "confusing. The long, two-paragraph description required me to stop at certain landmarks, look at them, and think about something specific. I've already figured out that this somehow creates a path to the client, and while the meaning is not yet clear, I'm getting points for doing it, not for trying to cut. We'll look into it.

On the way, I studied the app. There just has to be an auction! At least between couriers, to exchange bonuses! If there is such a powerful gameplay component, then there simply must be a market for skins. And chat! How can we live without chat? How do I know what people think if they can not write to me about it? Standard did not work, it was mostly about work stuff.

So, this street - the quest begins with "look at the "lived and worked here" memorial plaque. "Turn into an alleyway, sniff around"... ugh! You're a hard one, courier's lot! Now to go to the playground, with a strong push to spin the merry-go-round, look at it. Right, Tarkovsky wrote the road! Walk out on the curb, keeping your balance. Hmm, get to the end, try not to fall. Difficult!

Finally, I reached the driveway, which was visible right from the back alley. What's going on here, anyway? I mean, what's the point of all this? If it has to be done, it works somehow, but how?

"Good afternoon, Delivery."

That's by the way, on regular store deliveries I make phone calls, but I don't do that on quests. Is it important or not? All right, let's put it in the piggy bank of topics that haven't been cleared up.

The client, a middle-aged man in home clothes and slippers, stood looking at me with a frown. I took a roll out of my bag, checked it, and handed it to him. The client silently handed out a bill in return - and the day was starting well! I was about to thank him, when suddenly he lowered his head, sobbed... and collapsed.

"Are you alright?"

It's a silly question, I know. But it's better to come in from afar.

"Excuse me, can you hear me?"

Isn't the next thing to ask for a smile to determine a stroke? I looked closely at the man lying motionless. He's not moving. Not breathing. He's definitely not breathing! Shit, what's next? I reached down and tried to feel for a pulse. He was cold!

I squeezed his neck for about two minutes, so caught up in trying to find a pulse that I forgot what was going on. I couldn't find a pulse, and that made me slightly regain my senses. Okay, we got a dead body here, what do we do? Get out of here quietly? Actually, nothing is keeping me here, I gave the order, I got the tip, there's even the delivery in the app closed. And then someone checks his calls, sees a conversation with me, and I'm immediately guilty. Maybe I should drag him into his apartment and shut the door.

"Hello, is anyone there? Alive?"

I had to turn on the warranty, and everything would be normal, understandable, and natural. I even fought temptation for a second, but then I came to my senses. I have to think for myself, or I'll lose the habit to do it. What should I do? No one in the delivery company would help, we had done our part. Should I call the police? And then sit until tomorrow and answer why I killed an innocent client? There's more to it than the police, though.

The only hope was that these guys had something to do with the whole delivery thing, I mean, maybe.

Typing into the application search query instantly led me to a page with instructions. When I clicked "contact" I waited ten seconds for a response, and then I heard: "The Department on Combating Illicit Trafficking is listening."

"Hello, could you connect with Rainin?"

"What's the question?"

"Personal," I said automatically, but then clarified, "I can't figure out what to do with the corpse."

The invisible interlocutor hummed, a hoarse melody sounded, and after a minute the right person finally answered: "Rainin online."

"Hello, this is Marik Kuziakin. I just didn't understand who else I should contact."

"Marik... eh, Julievich? What have you got there?"

"I have a dead delivery customer, and I didn't do it. Truly."

After explaining the circumstances, I sat down on the window sill and waited for the next twenty minutes, answering the questions of some strange man. He asked so thoroughly that it became clear - no one needed my answers, but the instruction! Finally, footsteps sounded downstairs, and a familiar voice called out:

"The lad of Julius, where are you?"

"Here I am, upstairs."

I wonder how they found the entrance? I was following the description, but they did it right away. Next, five people came up to the floor at once, who were doing the familiar and usual thing from cop shows, that is, walking around, looking around, talking about their work, paying no attention to the corpse or me.

Rainin, stopping next to me, inquired: "What, did the "Umrun" scare you?"

I didn't understand and asked: "Zombie?"

"Nah, just an "umrun"." He noticed my bewilderment and explained: "A man died who had taken a lot of Unreality in his lifetime. Didn't realize he was dead, suspended, tried to come back. Everything around is strange, trying to find a foothold. Probably thought he was sick or something. He decided to stay at home and ordered some snacks by delivery. Since he was in unreal, he switched to the System. But he turned out to be decent, he didn't bring anything else, that's why he ran out."

"So what now?"

"That's it, we'll set up the "discharge" and the case is closed. Well done for letting us know, anything could have crawled up behind an "umrun". Usually it's the zombies that come out, and then we'll be hard-pressed to search them out."

Don't get it...

I mean he, umrun, don't get it...

So the girl on the subway might not have realized she had ears?

I was so caught up in thinking about it that I didn't even notice when it was over. Something flared up, and a warm wave passed through the entryway - it turned out it was cold in here. It's good to have double the hypodermic insulation, you don't pay attention to that kind of thing. They showed me a protocol to sign, apparently drawn up from my words on the way. I signed it, and for another five minutes, I crumpled until I got a hint that it was time to get down to business. Indeed, why am I?

It's one o'clock in the afternoon, I still have fifteen deliveries to make and two quests to do...

And again the road, the road, the road. For ordinary people, it takes an hour or two a day. But a courier has his whole life on the road. I was a little worried, but then I gave up on everything, turned on the warranty, and began to enjoy life. The day ended up flashed by insensibly. The remaining two quests turned out to be banal "postal missions", this time without any corpses, I worked up an appetite on the way, and in the evening, in the dark, I returned home.

That is a two-story multi-floor apartment building in the middle of a shady courtyard.

My bag in the corner, my phone, and everything out of my pockets on the table - I need to wash my pants. I did three "quests" today for a ring, and I'm tired. Oh, I'm tired.

What? I like good retro - Tsoy, Hoj, my dad's favorite Spice Girls, or my mom's Take Zet. The main thing is quality. Music from the old days is also a little unreal, which is probably why I like it. By the way, what about that tip that umrun gave me? Is it real or is it unreal, too?

Buzz.

Sighing and not expecting anything good, I picked up the phone.

Today's promotion is a reduced price on bonus housing!

Offering this at a time when I've only just saved up for a ring? Are you spying on me?!

I thought about it. Today was a good deal, both in terms of money and bonus points, and I could buy a "stealth ring" right now. I'd put it off until tonight just so I could have more fun. To look through, to compare, to estimate - even knowing that the points are only for the cheapest. But there really is a discount, and it's very important to me.

With a sigh, I pressed confirmation. Then another.

The bonus room is paid for ten days.

Bastard System, you have no conscience at all.

The remaining hundred and fifty wouldn't be enough for anything. And the money suddenly ran out. It's a hard life on your own. Should I move into a barrel as Diogenes? Or buy... I need access to the System Auction! There just has to be a tent with space expansion!

I threw my phone back into the pile of stuff I'd pulled out of my pockets, and headed into the kitchen, to the washer. The daily grind had taken its toll, and fatigue was taking its toll. I had been on my feet all day and could not feel it, but as soon as I sat down, my hams hummed. Good though the shoes are decent. So, if stealth with a recharge in twenty seconds, where better to use the teleporter? And how would I ever use it? I have to see what it's like to jump into a departing bus or a subway car. In general...

I stood in the shower for ten minutes, thankfully no one knocked or demanded to be excused. In general, there were fewer people here than in the hostel. Music and some sounds could be heard from behind the doors, but during the hour I was doing my laundry, only three people came into the kitchen. Well, that's okay, but I won't complain about the silence.

When I came back from the shower, I checked my phone - who said I never parted with it? How my working life has changed me! Well, yes, as soon as it can get me a new order, I want to shove it away and forget it. Eh, two hundred points in the account, which means I must again take a package of three quests and fifteen...

Stop.

Wasn't it a hundred and fifty?

I sat down on my bed and started to think back. Yesterday I spent on the title, today I had three quests in surplus, and then I gave all the money I had earned and a little more of yesterday's money for the room... Yeah, I had a hundred and fifty left. Now it's two hundred.

Have I been paid more for helping the department again? Or was it...

I may be beautiful, but I have brains. I quickly grabbed a wad of bills and bounced to the window and put them on the window sill, then went back to the bed and stared at the scoreboard. Five minutes of tracking, nothing happened.

I ran up to the money, took it, and slipped it under my phone. After about a minute, the counter blinked, adding one. There were seven bills, and after some time, I sorted out the exact same bill. I put it under the phone and then sat in the dark room, waiting with excitement for each new unit of points and counting to myself. It came out to about forty an hour. In the morning it would be almost five hundred, and the money I got from "Umrun" would bring me the same amount of points as two C-level quests in a day.

Looks like I got my mega-uber-chance, like that average Chinese student.

That's why I want rice so badly...

Total nihao!

* * *

RiP · Feb 22, 2022

Chapter 7

* * *

So, the fourth day of life outside the comfort of my parents' home.

Alive, unharmed, cheerful. Got a place to live and a steady income. I saw a living dead man, a werewolf, a witch. Teleported a dozen times to different distances. Picked on a girl with a tail. I have infiltrated a secret organization of delivery. I learned about the existence of an incomprehensible phenomenon codenamed "unreal".

I dread to think what will be there by the end of the month. How can I go back to my cozy attic after all this?

"Hello, folks!" I hand my phone to the storekeeper, and he almost immediately hands over a thick envelope with something that looks like a book. "Bye, folks!"

The workday has begun. Today's slot is for eight hours, with two quest deliveries. Two, so I can get an hour of personal time in the middle of the day with the second one. And if I do it right, in the evening, when I close my shift, I'll redeem the "ring of invisibility" and activate it at the same time. After that, I'll be without the bonus again, but that's bullshit. Teleport plus sneak equals safety! The best defense is to stay away from where something happens.

"Hello, delivery courier, please open..."

Each time I pretended to shoot the order intake and scanned the customers. People, just people. Maybe the scanner didn't have enough power? What's it based on? How does it recognize this stuff without even touching it?

Oh, you'd think I'd know how a phone does everything else. I pressed a button and it did it. Electric waves, pièce de résistance... or pi-en? I always get them mixed up. Magic, rituals, divine blessings. Sitting in a Chinese workshop somewhere, a thousand monks methodically praying over a circuit board - why not, in light of what I've recently learned?

However, there are more important questions. For example, the same "employees of the Department" - and on what basis do they actually work? How can we prove witchcraft in court? How to explain the detention of the same witch, or, for example, an "umrun" who was inexplicably "discharged". What, without a decision by an authorized authority, they saw him and immediately atomized him? Okay, let's say the client was undead, but why didn't they deliver the body to the right place? Whose authority are they under, the Holy Inquisition?

My dad blew my brains out with these things. His favorite pastime is to watch the show and then explain point by point why it's not a police procedural, but even a comedy with a fantasy element.

Come to think of it, what kind of activity does magic qualify under?

"Hello, order delivery..."

Innovative technologies? Who controls them? The Ministry of what exactly? Magic is not industry, not minerals... although purely formally, education can be engaged and a cultural moment is involved. So the inspector works for the RONO? Or in the Philharmonic... Thinking about it, I found a list of ministries and federal agencies, it turns out that the magic can go under the Department of Consumer Rights. Do they have an Enforcement Branch?

Fuck all of them! What makes me think it should even be an official service? They covered themselves with a warranty and no one would even think of them. Technique or mystique? What direction to go in?

Okay, let's pretend that this is all really magic and I'm in the game. What am I limited to? The list of available orders. Is there anything more profitable in terms of points? Who distributes this advantageous thing? Brute clearly shows that the normal courier will not chase bonuses and he has not yet had anyone object, not even the storekeeper. Let's assume that with each level there is not a doubling, at least a significant increase. I now have an "E" and I get seven hundred for a simple messenger quest.

So, maybe it's because I'm a "messenger"?

"Hello, courier... Yes, I got it, I'll leave it."

I sat down on the bench outside, putting my bag next to it. There was something so incomprehensible in my head. Like a tail of something important, except... So, I thought - the bonuses are dangerous... because the unreal is addictive... because...

Right, I remembered. Those words of the inspector about the umrun starting to look for something and automatically switched on the Delivery. So there's some mechanism for transferring mystical clients to the System. So there's a steady stream of such clients, right? It's clear that there is because we're sitting on quests.

But if they are there, they are coming from somewhere! And they pay with something! And it is something profitable for the System. That is, we need to understand where this unreal comes from... Okay, let's make a note here - there is a System. At least not chaos, but something organized. And at a level that is comparable to the state - because the application opens all over the country, I also checked it, the quests are available there. So far it is not clear why we need such a structure, but since it is there...

"I want order number seventeen-twenty-zero-three."

Damn, it's 15 kilos again. How do the poor guys carry that without a system bag? The customers have no conscience, if only they ordered cakes and carried the bottles themselves!

Okay, there is a structure. And if the Department uses comparable terms, can they be a Department of Delivery? No, it doesn't work. Until I figure out what the System's profit from quests and unreal is, I won't understand where the exit to suppliers of the same "meat" is. And I won't be able to rise above the level of a courier.

By the way, where did I get the initial "B" that was enough to see the invitation? I should clarify the question. And again - I saw the plate myself, without the application, that is possible and so?

"Thank you, have a good day."

After noting the completion of the order and making sure that I had somehow imperceptibly completed two-thirds of the day's quota, I finally poked at the "quest" sign and proceeded to complete the task.

A person may not know that he has cat ears or even that he is not alive at all. And how and who determines if the meat with unreal? Where do miracle cows graze?

When I received the package from the storekeeper, I immediately checked to see if it was radiating, but the phone placed on the quest parcel did not enrich me. It makes sense, in games quest items are usually useless and are only used by NPCs. So, I must either become an NPC or go on quests that use normal resources. In addition, the bag, cape, and ring are clearly unreal things, but points from them did not drop. That is, the System integrates something and does not intend to share. For the bag I was given access to the system quests, two hundred points apiece - this is for the item, which in theory by its very existence should generate many times more, if not by an order of magnitude!

We note the second - magic can be separated and the source can be determined, so it's not just for fun. It's much more complicated than that. But how do I find out exactly where and why so?

The quest was simple, and it reminded me of something - I had to stop in one spot in the yard and wait for a strong, steady wind to blow in my back. As I waited, I turned and walked toward the entrance, writhing against the gusts. Some girl walked toward me and judging by her hair, the wind did not exist for her.

The client, an ordinary gloomy man in his forties, took the package silently. He looks like the most ordinary average man, and behind him is an ordinary apartment. I quickly picked up my phone, while he could not see it, caught it in the lens:

Wanderer, 24 lv.

Wow, the first double-digit level, and you wouldn't know it from the looks of it. Although who would believe it if I revealed my secret side? Besides, half the customers are afraid of viruses and ask to leave the order under the door, so you never know what scary secrets are hiding behind all those doors.

Honest witches and werewolves might be a lot less intimidating when you meet them.

I got so bored with all these thoughts repeated more than once that I decided to use up my teleport charge: standing on the stairs, I aimed at the span and swung across several floors in one leap. If I have more charges, I need to check how this thing works under different conditions. Does it only transport an operator or anyone who stands on the "receiving" spot?

It became so interesting that when I delivered the next order, which was across the street, I checked right there. Poke my finger under my feet, poke the floor a little further, throw a can of soda bought on the way into the receiving blue spot, realizing at the last moment that it was not human and now there would be a "bang-pshh" and a sweet puddle...

The cola flew out of the orange spot and flew up almost vertically. Barely had time to catch it. What does that mean? That the cake might be a lie, but I'm definitely lucky. A mighty thing, by the way.

I stroked the ring, which was exactly the right size for some reason, and moved on with the proud gait of a novice wizard. I only noted the need to check to see if Normis could see the spot on the teleporter pad.

I checked right away, poking myself under my feet. On the white tiles, the blue spot of the teleport stood out so clearly that it was impossible not to notice it. But customers don't know that word! What's the point of ordering a rush delivery if you're going to wash your head?! Only wasted a charge, she with a towel thrown over her, she found the package at all by touch.

"Hello, delivery courier... Okay, I can wait five minutes."

It turns out that not only customers are waiting for couriers, but it also happens the other way around.

The orders were flying nonstop, I was delivering one when the next one was already coming down. The idea of taking a break was dismissed in a fit of greed, I really wanted to earn more. I did not even have lunch, just turned on the warranty to lose my appetite. Closing the slot immediately took the second, smaller. No matter what you say, it was a meditative way to think along the way. Yes, chewing gum, but somehow it's all convincing in reality. So would sit in a room and try to put it out of my head, but on the road is nowhere to go, you resign yourself and accept. My legs only hurt.

After delivering the last order, I finally opened the "special tasks" tab and randomly clicked the first one I saw. Then I remembered that I was kind of under warranty and I should have taken it off, but I couldn't take it off, could I? What if I get a fine?

After reading the description, I sighed. I should have taken it in the daytime, now I'm going to have a hard time with it. First, delivery from one part of the city to another, and second, conditions: buy candles in a particular church, thirteen of them. Each one burns the wick over the lamp. Take them... It's an hour's drive. Shit. Follow the signs. Hand over the candles.

No, the usual quest, if you think about it, but what's the point of all this?

Why do we need quests at all? What exactly do customers get? I don't know why I'm bothering!

Snorting at myself, I opened the bonus store. After completing this quest, I'll have enough points to buy - my precious! And then I'll be able to jump right in the street! Why? Well... Isn't that cool? And I can compare it with the price of teleport - will they give a new level or slightly increase?

Okay, stop talking yourself into it.

In fact, I don't even need to pick up the ring today. Who am I going to test it on? I've closed the slot, so I should go home and sleep. And tomorrow I'll suit up, sit in the hall, and try to get my colleagues to tell me what the hell is going on here.

The list of bonus equipment, which seemed quite large recently, was now scrolled through in three stops. There was no teleporter on it, which means that my level is insufficient. I can wear it, but I can't buy it. Twin-gear? Buy a ring, invite someone in, lure them in with a minor miracle? Sounds reasonable.

At the very end were the protective amulets. It was bad enough that even the cheapest one cost so much that I was itching to start selling fakes. Seventy thousand bonus points and the characteristics are unlocked upon purchase! Two months' work for a raffle ticket... Yeah, well, that's to get more people to sit on the delivery. If there's a goal, it's somehow easier. Good, at least there are no loot boxes. On the other hand, if there is protective gear, then it can be useful.

But there has to be a way to score points somehow faster, right?

And I will find it.

In the meantime, I have to find these jerks.

The first marker was found right on the tile at the subway exit. It was like a children's game - follow the arrow, blue base, red tip. I shrugged and moved on, looking around through the scanner. Hey, this isn't a shipping simulator any more, it's a full-fledged adventure. The lights aren't even on everywhere, and that one over there blinks suspiciously.

On the broken one, I found cardboard with a two-color arrow and a sign indicating "70 steps". Smartasses, which ones? This quest was the most idiotic so far, the rest felt like some kind of mystery or at least a riddle. Not the kind you want to solve, but the kind that's interesting to see. And here?

A break in the fence, edges in blue paint on one side, red on the other. All right, let's climb. What greed does to people, I mean me. Instead of spitting and going home, I wade through some construction site. God forbid I tear my sneakers, they are my work tool! I have to work three days for the new ones, by the way. Or a day, if I don't feel pity for my feet.

I had to turn on the flashlight and look around for monsters. No, everything was deserted. In the distance, I could see houses behind the fence, people living there normally, and only me lurking...

"Hello? Courier delivery!"

I thought about homeless people, but what would they do here? Unless the romantics are going to have sexual adventures. What sane person would hang around a construction site right now? It's not the 20th century, we live in civilized times. By the way, why isn't there a guard?

Finally, I found two wires on the ceiling, one blue and one red. I cursed inwardly the quest organizers and followed them, hoping that it was indeed a sign.

The dull chanting made me start to perk up. Finally something definitive! Walking up the bare concrete steps and crunching garbage underfoot, I walked around a wheelbarrow (the one handle was blue, the other red) and through the door, which was flanked by two colorful bottles. The singing was becoming more and more audible. Someone yelled in the distance, but since there was no call for help, I didn't pay attention, searching for the next sign. Oh, a puddle. It smells like blood - and blood is red! The drips lead that way, something had been dragged that way. That's where we're going.

"Mo-ortal!"

Whooh, I was beginning to worry. The usual greeting, so all is well. Found it.

"Your order, thirteen candles."

The hand that reached for the bag of candles was clawed and bony. Slipping the order into it, I quickly jabbed at the app button. "Stand by..."

"Mo-ortal, you want..."

"Yeah, yeah, just a minute."

The hooded shadows surrounded me. The shadows were not close, so if I guessed right, I'd have time to poke my finger twice. Under my feet and over there, to the window, where I could teleport directly to the courtyard.

"The abyss is calling you..."

"My shift is over. I'm sorry."

After a short silence, the clawed-boned man glared at me with scarlet eyes and shook his head: "Well, man, your nerves are like steel cords! It's a prank, bro! And you didn't even flinch!"

The shadows began to pull back their hoods, and I watched with one eye the cameraman, who appeared from somewhere behind the screen, and the boys and girls talking. The main man, in addition to the hood, took off a cloth mask, to which two lights were attached.

"Congratulations, you're the first one who didn't run away!"

"System of Delivery, please contact us. We fulfill even the most complex orders."

Buzz!

Finally, the quest was accepted, the account was updated, and the icon in the bonus store became active. I hesitated for a second, then clicked "buy".

The item has been moved to a storage facility. You can pick it up at your convenience.

I couldn't move what I bought from the "warehouse" panel to the equipment slot. Well, yes, that would be too good.

"Look, are you seriously wasn't scared?"

Putting the phone in my pocket, I threw the bag behind my back and explained: "Only that I won't be able to deliver everything in time. How long have you been pranking here?"

"The fourth day. Maybe you found out about us from somewhere?"

The clawed man, who was indeed tall and skinny, was curious. And everyone around me was listening.

"No. But it's an interesting quest, are you serious about it?"

Take an interest in the person, even if it's useless. Because we're still in a deserted place, and who knows what they'll think? So it's better to be nice, just in case.

The conversation did not last long, they decided that the time was childish and it was possible to call another courier. I said goodbye and headed out, thinking about what had happened on the way. It's a prank, theatrical and in costume. But it's also a system quest, that is, something related to the unreal. I got paid, didn't I? So they paid the system something. And what can a normal person pay?

Oh, the kids are going to overplay at some moment.

Sitting on the subway train, I remembered the day, my thoughts, and I checked what I had recorded on my dictaphone. I have a habit of hastily leaving something for the memory, usually, I prepared for the streams this way. Well, what do we have in the end?

If you reduce everything to the basics, then you need to understand what the benefits of all participants are.

What can I determine on my own? What am I dealing with?

With Sistem of Delivery.

How does it interact with me?

Phone, room number seven, dorms, and bonuses.

About the hall I'll find out tomorrow, the phone is not yet for my brains, but the game incentive scheme... The games usually have gold, they pay for minor services and are exchanged between players at the auction. And there are other currencies, for example, an "honor" or "reputation", which is the "currency of diligence" or "loyalty". Ideally, each player's movement is paid for separately, so that he is always motivated to continue.

Gold is our money. It's simple - housing and munchies, or you can buy a bike from someone like me. Not the main currency, you can't buy magic with it, right? But - the same goat heads in the delivery hall, they work for the "gold". What do they exchange it for? Or don't they all know they're not really human? Yeah, right, I do. So there is an exchanger of real money for unreal values. Would they let an outsider in? Only to get scammed on something. That is until I figure out the ground rules and increase the reputation is not worth prying into it.

System bonus points are the "currency of diligence". Buy souvenirs, rare materials for crafting, and so on. New quests are opened, not for enrichment, but to work even harder.

Logically, the System should have a " currency of reputation", a.k.a. "loyalty". That's what the courier gets if he goes to work every day. It's not like I'm an employee of Delivery, but a self-employed partner on a contract. Consequently, there must be a retention lure - but what kind?

Although, to begin with, I have to figure out if System has the benefit of me really getting into wonders. Or would it be fine with a courier sitting on small wonders?

Stop.

I've been thinking about it since this morning - those who get into unreal situations, the System finds them all by itself. You open a tab in an app and suddenly you see something else, right? Then it turns out that the further into the weird you get, the more possibilities? But why do you have to climb only within Delivery? Or does it still need to be that way? Not enough data to conclude.

What does a smart man do if he wants a promotion? Well, not me, I'm beautiful - a regular working man, someone like the viewers from my stream? By the way, I should go out for half an hour and explain. They're not strangers after all.

Although in light of the events of recent days, are they really all human?

I turned on the recorder: "Watch competitors' streams through the scanner."

Just in case.

Well, the standard way is to look for openings at competitors. The big companies just have to keep track of that. As if to casually hint to Delivery that I may not only work for them. How will they respond?

That is - in the phone should appear history of requests for interesting quests, plus a little in the browser, plus the shooting of yellow or green couriers. And we'll see the reaction. We couriers are obviously a valuable resource, there are never more than six at a time in the seventh hall, and there are dozens of quests on the list. Consequently, we just have to be controlled so we don't get poached.

I stared blankly at the wall, trying to figure out exactly what I was supposed to do now. Something in my mind was wrong. With what "wrong" is connected to me?

Application, working settings, warranty - off.

I slapped myself on the forehead and immediately opened the browser and started typing:

How do I earn more Delivery Points?

Which Delivery System quests are the most profitable?

Auction of Delivery System.

Full list of System gadgets.

I didn't look at the links that came up, just typed everything that came into my head. Why would I wait and guess when I could do it all right now?

Delivery System policy on competitors.

Courier for Unreal.

Better options than the Delivery System.

What else could you think of? For example...

Buzz.

I made a triumphant gesture and tapped the notification:

Congratulations on completing your probationary period!

You are assigned the rank "E1"

The following application features are available - auction, equipment upgrade.

Well, you should have just thought with your head, not clouded by a guarantee!

What one human has done, the other can always overplay!

Although about the "human" here is still a question, let's not be in a hurry. Now the main thing is not to get cocky, it was not me who won. It was them by simple manipulations that brought the employee to the point, forcing him to do everything himself. And now they start to milk me.

I looked at the auction briefly, checked the upgrade - nothing is clear but very interesting. The main thing is: they somehow check me, and they really need me.

With this, I can play...

* * *

RiP · Mar 18, 2022

Chapter 8

* * *

The morning began with an itch.

I scratched at the back of my head with such intensity that it looked like I was about to get a straightforward brain massage. But I had a reason, and it was called "choice of setting.

Setting?!

Can I choose the setting? So I'm really going to go to a place where everything... So other worlds actually exist? Whoa. There's not enough raw data to make a valid conclusion.

Well, what has changed? First of all, they gave me an "E" rank, I'm a big boy now, and I can earn more money. Second of all, the auction is open. Although with its caveats.

To begin with, every session was paid for. Two hundred points were deducted. Secondly, each request was also subject to a fee. I looked at the confirmation button and tears came to my eyes. You can not so blatantly milk the staff! I dreamed of a ring!

So I bought it, and at the same time, I activated it. After that, I had enough system bonuses left for exactly one fifteen-minute session, and I didn't have enough for a request. I sat on my bed, dragged my finger over the screen, and could not bring myself to do it. What was the point of looking at an empty application if there were not enough points to use it? Finally, I spit and went to bed.

The morning was greeted with a letter in the application. Blah, blah, we congratulate you, you did a great job and as a reward, you can now work for us twice more for the same money... the last one wasn't said, but it was easy to guess. But the second paragraph, where they cut to the chase, just caused an intense itch.

To activate E-rank system tasks, select your preferred setting

And no options were offered. Only the text entry bar. If everything was in English, you could assume some other option, but in our case, it all made perfect sense. The setting - that is, the world of the game. Or a book. Or any fictional world at all. At best, according to Wikipedia, I was asked to determine the time and place of the unknown.

So the E-quests are performed not in our world?

Scratch, scratch, scratch... I'm going to scratch a hole in my skull like that.

It's not even supernatural, it's fantasy, sci-fi at best. Well, at least not isekai.

I wiggled my finger over the activation button again. I already know: if I press it now, a menu with time bars and a small price tag will appear. The minimum session is two hundred points, and one request is another two hundred. Now in the account, thanks to the accumulated from the magic money, just over five hundred. By the way, less has accumulated than it should, it is exhausting.

That is, a novice courier even on a simple request must work for more than a day. By the way, how much exactly are they offering for the quest for E-rank?

To start the application, select your preferred setting.

Phew on you. I could not look at the usual quests, too, the plate jumped out as soon as I went beyond the usual delivery. Either this is some clever way to screw me, or I did not consider something. And since I did not understand something, I need to consult with people.

The weather was decent, not hot and sunny; I sat on a bench with a cup of coffee, looking down at the people rushing by and wondering who they were. The scanner wouldn't turn on, either, without a definition of that very setting. I waited until ten in the morning and rode the slightly unloaded subway.

You have to travel either before rush hour or after, otherwise, it's too hard. For the people around me, to whom the fat guy with the not-so-big-but-still-bag interfered with finishing their nap on the way to work. I was standing quietly, plugging in my ears and listening to music. I was surprised to discover that the cheap wired headphones I bought in a shop gave no worse sound than the ones I had spent a month on reviews to choose. I don't know if it's a mystery or if it's supposed to be like this?

In the seventh hall, all the familiar delivery people have already gathered. So a new episode of our show begins at just this moment. Okay, my line:

"Ahem! Hello, folks!"

"We've seen better."

"Hello."

"Aloha.

Even Abstinence waved a limb.

"Question - who can give a hint about the setting?"

Brute didn't disappoint: "Here's a hint - uninstall the app, forget about Delivery, live happily ever after."

"Why should I?"

"Since you're already out on external quests, you have an "E."

He caught me in the lens and nodded: "Exactly. It's the first time I've ever seen such reactive suicides."

He's kind of gloomy. I'm sure he'll tease me all the way to the end and die saving my life in the final battle.

"Let's talk to the point, shall we?"

"In fact, you've in five days reached a level where you start to get into serious trouble. You're a dangerous man to be around!"

A goggle-eyed kid sitting next to him asked timidly: "Didn't you say that the levels are not Systems?"

Old man replied, putting the paper on his lap: "Levels are not assigned, they are registered. Well, it's like if you work with your feet, they give you one order, and if you work by car, they give you other orders. Delivery just uses the generally accepted classification."

"So you can get anyone?"

Brute started the usual: "If you're a fool, you can get anyone. Because you don't really have a car yet. A couple of gadgets is nothing, and you have to drag a lot and in places that are better to skip at speed."

I tried to bring the conversation back to my topic: "So what places? What's about the setting?"

Tomboy, lying on the bench, wiggling her dangling leg, encouraged the conversation: "The external quests lead to..."

She hesitated, choosing words, and the Old Man pompously prompted: "To the Realm of Chaos!"

"Well, yeah, roughly. Everything is there, and the path will build for you according to the setting. Not for convenience, but so that you can follow it to the client. That is if you know about hardware, and you choose mysticism, then you'll run into a door and you can't find the control panel on it, because you don't know what it is. And even if you hint at a spell, you won't understand it. And vice versa."

The storekeeper looked out at the conversation. I was about to show him my phone and pick up my purchase, but the damn app flashed again and he put away his "thermometer". A knight at a crossroads - that's me. If you go to the right, you get into trouble; if you go to the left, you get into trouble; if you go straight, you get into trouble. And I don't feel like going back, because my dad is there, and a boring job at the office.

"My app won't open now! Tried to take the bag off - no way!"

"And you were warned. Smart people advise - don't run ahead of the locomotive, nothing good will come of it!"

I could hear the satisfaction in Brute's voice. I had to object, so he wouldn't be so cocky: "Then why even come here if you don't do anything?"

The question was rhetorical, but the Old Man answered: "The contract requires you to go out at least once every three days. You take the minimum slot for two hours three times a week, for which you are allowed in the seventh hall. Here, as it turns up, you take a simple quest, such as the water, you get for it two hundred points."

He seemed to be talking to me, but he turned to Goggles. Apparently, I'm already considered a lost cause.

"Weak water is mostly taken by alchemists, they are safe. More or less. The water that might be a problem is just "E" and deeper quests. Well, you've probably heard - "live", "dead". In six months or so you score ten thousand bonus points. You make a system contract with E-rank to buy a "medium healing potion" from the auction. It costs about forty coins and cures just about anything that isn't lethal in ordinary people. That's all."

"What that's all"

"That's all means "that's all a reasonable person would do". You work eight hours a week, you have a good and steady income. And you also do some good."

Hmm, well, that sounds logical. But boring.

The kid with the glasses decided to clarify: "And these alchemists, they can't brew their own?"

"Of course, they can. But a local "medium healing potion" will cure a cold or a headache. A potion brewed somewhere in the deep unreal will have completely different properties."

I mean, I'm kind of in trouble. But not to give up, right?

"What, all the advice is going to be "sit on your ass"?"

Tomboy rolled over onto her back and stretched both legs up: "If you don't want to sit, lie down. As long as you don't see the unreal, it doesn't see you. The more you drag, the deeper you sink and soak in. So much so, that after a month you are already comparable to the same "meat" that you used to carry on the "C". And there's a lot of meat in you, fatty. "C" is the maximum for those who want to live."

"What about reducing the levels?"

She spun her legs in a circle, managing to point at everyone present. Uh-huh, I see. There must be some kind of radiation absorbers in here, or the upstairs neighbors would complain not only about noise and cockroaches but about demons, too. And those absorbers clean us, too. Yes, of course, I realized that through the same app they suck up the excess.

That is, unreal is like a cumulative debuff. And after exceeding it, you are hunted down.

"Okay, thanks. What about the auction?"

Asked the question and immediately realized that I should have asked Abstinent specifically, the rest of them would never have an "E" with that approach.

The warlock didn't disappoint: "Read the descriptions carefully. Very carefully and think twice."

"Can they scam me?"

Brute laughed: "They can do everything just right. Warlock bought mystical vision, but didn't take into account that it doesn't turn off."

Abstinence, only pulled the hood of his cape down further. He seemed to have a sore spot for attentiveness. To the point of soreness in his eyes.

I looked at the screen again, wiggled my finger, and clarified: "The setting... what else does it provide? I mean, for the pocket?"

Brute grimaced, the Old Man looked reproachfully over the paper, and Tomboy sighing, dropped all her limbs at once in the image of a starfish.

And only Abstinence didn't disappoint: "Do you have an equipment upgrade available?"

"Yesterday I received a notification."

"Conceptually - if you decide to improve a cape in a Star Wars setting, you'll be offered something like "nanofiber-reinforced armor padding". And if it's fantasy, it's "durability enchantment". The essence is the same, the path is different."

"And no surprises?"

"Except the overpricing. Other than that, the System doesn't screw around. It needs us alive. And the quests, you know, will be different."

What should I choose - a day-quest to destroy the Death Star or a week-quest to hike to Orodruin? What am I good at? Maybe I should give up and just go for the gold today and let the wonders wait. It's good to think on the road...

I quickly typed four words and pressed enter.

Buzz.

The selected setting can be changed through...

I had to open a calculator, time it, and calculate. In seven months and a penny. I don't know why that is so long. Probably no one has ever worked more than six months.

The storekeeper, with a sigh, swiped the reader and ducked behind his canopy, immediately returning. The ring was sealed in a bag with a tag, which I immediately tore open.

The Ring of Business Invisibility

Activate it?

Yes/no

Following the advice, I carefully reread everything. There were no additions in the fine print, and the ring did exactly what it was supposed to do. The words that I had chosen yesterday as an activator were highlighted next to each other.

Yes.

Another animation - my avatar grabbed the ring, put it on its finger (the equipment slot displayed it immediately), then the little man determinedly put the bag on himself, a cloud of words came out of his mouth, and he disappeared. Only to be revealed two seconds later as a small receding figure.

The principle is clear.

I opened the tab with the slots and thought about it. Of course, it would be nice to jump right into the adventure, but I still need to test some things, check them out, and get used to them in general. So...

Click, click - a shift of ten regular orders and one "quest". The last one was unpleasantly disappointing because for a category "D" it offered a third less than yesterday. I flipped through the offers and now I was getting less than a hundred points for a "B"! Somehow this did not make me happy, but to say this out loud in front of these whiners was to call myself a fool again. The principle is clear, so that's all right. Especially since the "E" with the notation "within the chosen setting" was offered from two thousand System Points. On the other hand, there is a note that "the minimum execution time - from three hours," that is, if I seriously will do the quests of my level, I simply will not have time to earn money in real life. And this is a defeat in an argument with my dad, which can not be allowed to!

That is tomorrow, everything is tomorrow.

I turned to my colleagues:

"Listen, one last question - what if you get under the "discharge"? Will it reset the levels?"

Everyone reacted, some chuckled, some rolled their eyes: "Do you cut your nails with a chainsaw?"

"And he goes online by poking electrodes into a piece of silicon!"

And only Abstinence gloomily explained: "A discharge tuned to you will, of course, lead to a base. But are you sure you're not living thanks to some piece of unreal? Which will suddenly run out."

Considering that I came to Delivery already as a "B" ranker... No, that's not the option.

"Well, then, I'm off to work. Have a nice seat of the pants!" And before they started throwing things at me, I added a stealth activator: "Good day!"

Now point your finger under your feet, finger toward the window, step on the blue stain.

I squinted against the sun, looked at my phone, agreed to the proposed order, and headed for the subway. After all, there was one good thing about this job: there was enough time to think about everything. For example, now I should think of all the horrors that could happen to me within the framework of the chosen setting.

The choice was obvious. All I've ever been serious about in my life is gaming. Mostly RPGs and the like. I played games, I read about games, I watched videos about games, I made money from pumping, reviews, and streaming! It may not be the best choice, but it's far from the worst. You have to do what you're good at. My adventure is pretty weird, but why not enjoy it properly? I used to lead a character, now I'm such a character myself - and if I got into the game, what should I do?

Yes, the same thing I usually do. That is to pump up, develop, stretch up - or down if it leads to victory. The scheme of the game in Delivery is roughly clear, here skills depend on the equipment. Repeat the mistake of Abstinence I will not. Why change yourself when you can have interchangeable sets of gear? Trainee already passed, about unreal I know something, now survive the first quest and then, having filled all the slots, think about the future.

"Hello, this is the courier."

The first order is fulfilled, and then the second one drops. I bet ordinary couriers have to wait, but we System people get the best! We're the elite! Okay, it's only a twenty-minute drive there, so I'll use the time to my advantage.

Activate access to the auction?

200 points will be deducted.

Yes/no

Yes, bloodsuckers!

The flicker of sparks against the backdrop of a schematic image of something that looked like a cabinet with scrolls arranged in its cells. Finally, the flickering ended, and I began to make sense of the suspiciously familiar interface. It was like some kind of game... Or was it the work of a "setting"? Maybe. "Buy", "sell", "active orders" and other such familiar tabs. Surprised the field to enter a query, it was originally not a line, but a box, which directly hinted at the possible search not just by name, but by description. Finally, it was possible to insert a snapshot from the scanner.

Okay, how do I check this in my work? What exactly do I know about the auction? You can buy some kind of "average healing potion" here, and I even know the approximate price. That's what I'll start dancing around. Except why I want a particular potion, I want more coverage of options.

ingredients for the creation of medium healing potions

Enter.

200 points will be deducted.

Yes... *whining*

Sadly looking at the counter, I opened the "buy" tab, which now had two hundred pages. Of course, Delivery couldn't miss out on its profits. The items were priced in different units - "coin," "power crystal," and so on. There were even lots offered with an exchange of one item for another! But it was possible to move the slider and then everything was counted in System Points, but a small "commission for exchange" was added, from two to six percent.

On the other side, another tab became active: the auction came with an identifier module, compatible with the scanner. I was able to find out only what was displayed in the search at least once. Not bad, I now have a small database of several hundred different herbs, minerals, and other things. If it's all available after the session closes, I'll have to sit around and look for familiar names.

I think the next query would be something like "ingredients mentioned in the Largest and Most Comprehensible Encyclopedia of Magic".

And then we'll see, greedy System, whose kungfu is stronger!

* * *

RiP · Apr 25, 2022

Chapter 9

* * *

Surprisingly, I received a rather weighty box to be sent to the "outer unreal" not in the seventh hall for the special, but at the common counter together with the usual couriers. It's strange, and I probably don't understand something yet.

A note of receipt of the parcel, a second's wait, a description of the road unfolded. What does it feel like to leave reality for another world?

Annoyance.

E-rang's quest was quite consistent with the most common B-rank's - go there, turn here, jump over this, knock on that... Only the description was three screens long. Also, a stern warning popped up:

Attention, it is strongly recommended to use the branded cape when fulfilling the order.

For the especially beautiful also played animation, a man in a raincoat jumped under the acid rain, happily waving his hands.

Yeah, right - the cape will soak up all the unreal and send it back into the System. And I get nothing. On the other hand, do I need it? I don't know yet. Probably I muttering for nothing and really not worth it. My level is good enough for me, there's no point in growing tentacles yet. Maybe later.

Turn into the passageway between the houses, walk with your right hand on the wall.

Because when you think about it, what have I gotten myself into? There's some unreal out there, with werewolves and witches. And I'm walking around, flapping my ears. And I'm pissed off, scared. Or rather, from nerves. What's to be scared of? What's the big deal, that I've been someplace I don't know? A hundred thousand times, in almost every game. They invent open worlds and quests with no indication of location, and you run around and look for it.

Enter the park through the gate.

So you think, is this an important nuance or can we skip it? The gate is half a hundred paces, and the car passage is ten. In theory, if the whole description is not made only for the locals, then we can ignore it. Comes to us some Neanderthal Vasya and he really better to walk, hand holding the wall. So he won't get run over by a car. But on the other hand just in case.

Follow the path to the north.

I had to open the app for orientation. Walking in the city using a compass? There's nothing strange about it! Four days as a courier were enough for me to understand that the city sometimes seems endless. I think you walk in familiar places, you've walked a hundred times, but you turn into the wrong alley and absolutely everything is unfamiliar. You cross a tiny square, fifty paces, and then you get distracted, and suddenly there are no people around, no high-rise buildings. And you go, you go, you topographic moron, in a circle. Only that you do not shout "aww," to everyone's delight.

Walk under the big tree

You still have to get through the bushes to get to it... And that's another thing - is it really all the magic of the place, or is this route necessary to set me up for something? And it's not about the path, it's about...

Wait, where does the path come from?

I looked around, checked the text of the quest: +Go to the big road, turn right, follow it to the city gate.

I looked around.

Somehow that's a little over the top. Or did someone read the thought of "lost in the park"? They'll do, but there's a path underfoot, a narrow dirt path, with tufts of grass around the edges, and a forest all around.

I sniffed - this time I didn't smell anything, but I'd been to a customer before. And this time I shouldn't wait for the detachments, they're far away... On the other hand, I had something to protect myself with now.

I looked around, listened. Silence, in the woods. So quiet, not paying attention to me. Grass under my feet is usual, flowers of the field, small ones can be seen. An ordinary bird flies by, wings flapping. And though this dried-up thing can be taken for a trace of the demonic hoof, most likely it is a cow. Especially since the scone is lying next to it, dried up.

Yeah, now I believe I'm in another world! Because we may have demons, but you don't see a cow in the middle of a metropolitan park. So let's go.

Well, this time it was somehow different. In the city, you walk measuring the way by storefronts, traffic lights, and standing urns. Here, in a rather sparse deciduous forest with shrubby undergrowth, there was nothing for the eye to fix on. The space was not sliced by anything and therefore seemed endless. Coming out to the road seemed like an event; I even breathed a sigh of relief. Turn right... where's the right?

I decided to pull the cape back after all. After I'd almost died of fright when a long snort came over my ear. Without any teleport, I jumped three meters in an unknown direction and then watched as the two bulls drove past me in a wagon.

Or are they oxen? It's kind of embarrassing to look under the tail. But the carriage...

I've seen more than a dozen of them!

I saw it in the manga and in the anime. And in games... The setting works. I'm home, Chewie!

I kept a dozen paces behind the cart and followed it. I didn't try to ask for a ride, because I was told to go, so I went. So I'm in another world. In the very setting, I had indicated. Why this one? Because there are clear rules, described by dozens and hundreds of scenarios, novels, and chapter books. If I have my way in the unreal, why not in the part of it in which I will have some chance?

Of course, there are all kinds of evil in abundance, from bandits to dragons, but I'll get away from the former, and the latter... well, then it's fate. But the reward for the quest is great, with a minimum of movement.

I backed up a little more when I noticed the carriage driver peeking out from behind the canopy. We'd better not arouse suspicion; the local might be a shell-shocked veteran or something worse, maybe he'd get shot or cast a spell. It's better to think about the prospects, there's nothing else to think about.

The second question after choosing a setting was "to go there under warranty or not". On the one hand, being calm and confident in the normality of what's going on I like. But on the other hand, that reassurance doesn't give me a chance to focus on the little things, and they can be important. Why did I come here? To earn points? I don't really need them. Yeah, a miracle's great, but you can make money without one. The adventure? Survivors talk about how much fun it was. And the invisible ghosts of their fallen comrades try to kick the storytellers in the ass. So far, I need to be here for one reason: to be good at something, you have to do it. Daddy's favorite teaching.

I'll make safe "B" quests - I'll become good at them. If I want more, I have to break into serious business. And here I am helped by another feature of the setting, which does not do without, namely the "order board". They're not included in the System, are they? So it's a way for side income, well, and to explore the world at the same time.

For now, I have to deal with the main question of how to walk from here to here and back without the System's prompting. The sub-question is, is there an artificer in town that can charge the rings? Yes, I don't like the fact that all the goodies come from the Delivery window. I want an alternative.

"Whoa! Halt!"

I walked mechanically around the wagon and stared in amazement at the city wall that had appeared unnoticed. It's not much of a wall, six meters high, but there is a tower with a flag, and there are many signs of life around it. The suburbs were not observed, only some authentic medieval-looking buildings. The people, the same carters, were also authentic - that is ornate, bright, combed. It is not every day that they go to town! There were no smeared faces, for some reason, all were able to wash their faces.

Well, I got there, what's next?

Once through the city gates, follow the directions on the app. Your destination is the shop of the Master Audway.

"Where to?"

I asked the guard with the halberd rather vaguely, and I forgot to say hello, but it was no new to any strangers: "Go to the tables, behind the wall only after registration."

Nodding, I headed to the "customs" office. There, a middle-aged man in armbands habitually looked me over and asked: "Purpose of arrival?"

"Delivering an order for... master Audway."

The clerk pulled up a large register, flipped through it, and nodded: "Yes, the fee has been paid. You are allowed to stay in the city for one day."

"And night?"

He looked at me like an old city dweller at a country bumpkin: "A day is one revolution of the light around the world. Until tomorrow noon, you are a guest in the city."

I nodded. A guest is a guest.

"Attach it to your clothes," they handed me something like a piece of leather. "It's enough just to attach it. When you leave the city, give it to any guard or attendant. Next."

Actually, his intonation was exactly the same as when I was carrying a box of doughnuts to a fancy business center. There, the rules of conduct were recited in the same familiar way, with the same tone and the same words. It even seemed like a man...

"Where can I change money?"

The clerk nodded indifferently to a nearby table. An imposing lady sitting there, when she heard about the money, perked up and beckoned me with her hand. I scooped out a half handful of change from my pocket and handed it over. For some reason, I expected that the lady would pull out her phone and turn on the identifier, but she did it with a slightly glowing rectangular pebble.

"Odd coins."

"You don't accept these?"

"Why not, the embossing is visible, the metal is good, the filling is decent. I give you three silver and two "scales".

Perhaps I should have bargained, but my "Eloquence" is not pumped up.

The silvers were about a centimeter and a half in diameter, and the scales were half that size. After inquiring, I got the answer - to spend the night in the common room of a decent inn with dinner, that is analogous to the same hostel, it is silver. For a private room is already two. Not rich, in short, but at least I do not go with an empty pocket.

As I entered under the gate tower, I thought there was something about such an outpost outside. Clerks wouldn't just bide their time in the rain and wind. It's not like playing solitaire with a smart-ass look on your face when no one's looking, it's clear to everyone what they're doing. And there's no room for a bribe... It's kind of savage, but it's not stupid.

The town didn't impress me in any way. When my mother took me to Europe, I was bored in such places. Everything is compact, clean, everything is in place. There's even a tourist attraction, a statue on the square - an unfamiliar man on a riding lizard proudly pointing somewhere with his sword. The streets are wide enough for two wagons like the one I saw, and there's still room for stalls of goods. Not too many, because most of the vendors were in stores.

Glass, good glass - meter-wide pieces, and more. Metal, cheap enough to make signs. Tile roofs, but that doesn't tell you anything. The houses are three stories at most. The people around are most ordinary, the style of dress as in the nineteenth century, but you can see that it is not fashion, but technology. There's good cloth and woolen cloth here... my granddad drilled my brains out with it all! I had to learn.

I wondered about moral markers, but almost immediately a matron with a gown sweeping the sidewalk went by in one direction. And in the other direction, two obvious mercenaries. One in men's pants and the other in a dress with a puffy skirt that did not cover her knees.

It matches the setting!

I looked at the beast folk that had passed by without interest, I had already seen enough. I'm settling into the wonders, getting used to them. The only strange thing is that I did not see it through the phone, but with my eyes. Well big, well furr, so what?

I should have stood out in some way, causing surprise, but a minute later my colleague walked by. He was dressed about the same, with a lopsided hat on his head and a wicker box on his back. Apparently, my current occupation is also one of the oldest.

Well, at least here I don't seem like a loser, but like a solid and successful person. If you are fat in this world, you have extra food, all the time. You're a slick businessman, you have good luck, you're able to store up fat. Eh, self-reassurance...

Fifteen minutes of leisurely walking with the phone in my hands led to a typical shop with a mortar and pestle on the sign. The customer turned out to be a mustachioed old man, rubbing his hands together happily as I took his order out of the bag. What can you wear from our world? Well, first thought: if it's unreal here, then I'm carrying magically pure blanks and preparations. The second is technological knickknacks that take too long to make here, like lenses, plastic stampings, flasks of all sorts... Yeah, if you don't know the needs, you can't capture the market. Okay, let's keep our eyes open.

Finally, the customer nodded, and two "scales" were placed on the bag. Apparently, it was a sufficient tip in his opinion. Well, I'm not going to be offended; I'm happy with any profit.

I wasn't asked to stop, get something to eat, or talk about the road, so I just marked "order delivered" and went outside. So, what now? Let's ask a passerby: "Can you tell me where the Adventurer's Guild is?"

The passerby stopped, looked at me thoughtfully, and only after making a decision began to describe the road in such detail that I even suspected he was a quest writer. Finally, he finished and said goodbye, and left without listening to my thanks. Apparently, unhurriedness and thoroughness are in high demand here.

I, suddenly realizing, took out my phone. If I was walking with an order on a map, could I use it to plot a route? It turned out that some of the houses had signatures, and the main points like "City Guard Building," "Town Hall," or the same "Adventurers' Guild" had bright signatures of their own. The roads around the city were also marked.

The "abandoned crypt (inhabited)" icon a kilometer from the city destroyed me.

WTF!? A dangerous foray into the unreal. An hour's walk and all the trouble was where to have lunch. And how I prepared myself! Remembered the rules, figured out the appeal, worked through the tactics of fighting all the known monsters! Where the hell is my adventure? There are even dangerous places signed here!

Shame on you.

Well, I'm going to sit and take a walk. Waiting for orders is part of my job. After looking around once more, I took out my phone, spent five minutes making an overview tour, and then moved on, taking my time. I looked at the passers-by, just like that, then through the scanner. I looked at the merchandise but in general, everything was more expensive than at home, so I did not buy anything.

Then the rain started drizzling, and I turned to the door, which smelled delicious. Obviously, it wasn't a top-notch diner, but it wasn't bad. They gave me a big bowl of gruel and tripe for the silver. I think it was something my grandfather used to make for his dogs, but they ate it willingly. However, the porridge was accompanied by a flatbread the size of a plate and a mug of beer.

Apparently, I overpaid - there were four typical adventurers at the next table, and they got a much bigger bowl plus a jug for the same coin. They didn't get any tortillas. Maybe there's some kind of corporate discount?

A little domestic sketch - money was used for its intended purpose before my eyes. The innkeeper's assistant pulled down the lever, which I thought was the lamp mount, shook the metal circle out of the slot that opened, took a new one out of the purse, inserted the "battery" in the slot, and raised the "switch" back up. All this was accompanied by a flicker of lights in the hall, which did not attract the public's attention in the slightest.

So you have to wonder - is this magical stagnation or normal techno-barbarism?

Magic, indistinguishable technology, yes, yes...

Finally, the rain dug in, and it brightened up outside the window. I finished the rest, threw my bag behind me, and went out without saying goodbye. It seemed that there would be no orders, so I'd better get home before dark. What is there to do? All as at the start of a new server: zero skills, starter gear, location does not know, as monsters, but you have to somehow pump up faster. And the constant choice between "buy a new dagger" or " buy the next rank of spells".

And there is no hope for the co-guilders and viewers of the channel. They, too, are naked and just out of the sandbox.

I could poke around in the Guild since it's there but first impressions are things you have to think about beforehand. A peddler comes, pennies in his pocket, no skills, no knowledge of the world - how will he be accepted? No, I should not.

There's nothing else to do.

Ay, why do I talk myself into...

After all, I didn't leave without a souvenir. I heard from the corner of my ear that pots were cheap, and I remembered choosing between two rooms, and the difference was that one had a jar of flowers and the other didn't. Well, if the chance came up, I'd better take it.

The silver and scales went to the potter, and I put a jug wrapped in straw in my bag. It's pretty, but it's very simple - it's not a souvenir, a dustpan, but a real household item. Well, it's time to go home.

The guard accepted my "pass," and I didn't even bother averting his eyes, poking my finger into the distance. Step - transfer, poke here, there - step, repeat.

The driver of the oncoming carriage frowned when I appeared beside him, but didn't even flinch. I was a second later, far away. Finally, the map in the app showed me that it was time to go deeper into the woods. Oh, it's too bad to be poor - no "city portal scrolls," no "return stones," everything is harsh - just stomp your feet. And they, by the way, are aching by nightfall!

Such a job, to get there is half the job, or rather even a third - you still have to come back.

Follow the trail, keeping it to the right. At the tree with the broken top, turn left.

I didn't turn left. There was a clearing there, and I had a jug! I needed flowers in it.

Of course, the prettiest flowers turned out to have prickles, small, splintery, and brittle. Not all of them, but I took the time to sort through them. Finally, having picked the red ones, the safe ones, I put them around the prickly blue ones and stuffed them into the bag.

Turn left...

Twenty minutes later, I was standing at the subway entrance.

Tired but satisfied, I return from my first external quest. Two thousand system bonuses await me... and nothing else. And I'd been thinking a lot about it.

However, the main thing here is that I come back in one piece.

At home, I poured water into a jug and stuck the bouquet in it, trying not to stab myself. Did it seem okay? I looked for my phone, took a long time to take a picture of it, so I would have something to show my mother if she asked.

Buzz.

What that...

The "auction" app recognizes the ingredient...

I stared at the scanner-lit flower, trying to keep my jaw shut. The blue one. There was a whole field of them. Damn...

Buzz.

Congratulations on completing a challenging assignment

Your level increased.

New Delivery System tools are available to you.

I rubbed my eyes and was about to lift a finger, but the phone buzzed again.

A dear employee of the Delivery System! We offer you to read the terms and conditions of the preferential contract...

Oh, judging by the unfamiliar logo - competitors. Are they trying to poach me? Well, of course, everyone wants valuable and efficient employees.

I sighed, scrolled through the app, resolutely moved the warranty slider to "on," then turned off the sound and shoved the phone under my pillow. To hell with all of you, I'll figure it out tomorrow.

By the way, I came back from another world. It's not every day it happens!

I have the right to rest.

* * *

RiP · May 21, 2022

Chapter 10
* * *
After all, the Internet is a big garbage dump with almost nothing useful in it.

So I went to get some info this morning, and what do you think - there's no information on how to save magic plants! And so stand on the table in a jug.

By the way, come to think of it, not even a week into my independent life, and I had already decided to start dealing weed! So quickly people go downhill.

After opening the app, I put my finger of fate over the list of slots. Should I work in reality today, or do another quest? Another world, riding lizards, technomagic? So-so, to be honest. Magic versus a warm latrine? Not sure magic would win. Manure, country roads, wood stoves. Plus, that constant horror of realizing you haven't been online in over an hour! How do people live out there?

Okay, no matter how I slice it, I have work to do. I wiggled my finger over the app and decided not to bother myself too much.

Activated slot 9.00-12.00

Three hours, because first of all it's never too late to take another one, and secondly I have to consult with someone. Maybe he's busy, then I'll go to the seventh hall to torture the whiners there, but first... The fewer people know where you get your money from, the better chance you'll be able to get it there next time. So it is better not to spread the word about smuggling magical ingredients among your colleagues yet. The less you say, the more you earn.

Ordering is available...

It's good to think on the road. I have plenty of system points, enough for a session and three or four auction requests, and I need to think hard about how I intend to make a billion or two. And whether it's worth it. I'm doing pretty well as it is.

"Hello, delivery..."

The workday has begun.

I once tried to figure out what the man who brought me a hamburger from across town was thinking. He was thinking about nothing, or rather anything, but certainly not about me. And if half of them were thinking what I was thinking, the world was even weirder than it turned out.

The next order sent me underground for half an hour, but with only one transfer, so you can get in on the wonders. Time to spend the points!

When I tried to type something vague like "magic ingredients" into the search box, the auction gave a snide "not enough money in your account, clarify your request" alert. No freebies. So much I wanted to know at once, to be proud of my exclusivity... damn poverty! Okay, I need information, and about the basics. I searched the Internet, there is none. Although maybe only through the scanner available? No, I saw it with my own eyes when I was hired. I urgently need a wise mentor. Preferably, he should be a retired hero who can give a few lessons in kungfu. I'll probably be the underdog student who will open his mouth in surprise when the teacher coaches the hero-to-be. Safe and promising, at most I'd have to get revenge on the teacher.

Where is that bearded old man hiding when you need him so much?!

"Your order... Thank you... have a nice day."

Oh, I forgot it was a ring activator. Anyway, who's looking to see where the next delivery guy disappeared to? Click, click, click... caught the bus, nice.

The next order seems to be close by, but the "eleventh floor, the elevator doesn't work". And twelve kilos behind. It would have been if it hadn't been for the bag. It's four kilos at the most. But I weigh something, too!

"Have a nice day."

Eye diversion worked, poke my finger under my feet, poke in the direction of the roof of the building across from the one I needed to go to.

Step.

Standing on the edge of the roof, I estimated where the stairwell was. There's the entryway, there's the eleventh floor. Poke, poke, step. No unnecessary running around with a load on my back!

Easy.

Already standing in front of the door, I read the note on the order "be sure to call the intercom!"

I am calm. I am very calm.

"Have a good day."

Poke, poke, poke, the edge of the roof. Knock, knock, knock, the familiar door of the entryway.

"Hello, this is the delivery courier."

The intercom beeped and the door opened. What, go up? No way! Knock, knock, hello roof. Now it's back to the same window, and here I am. Where's the door?

Tap-tap.

Client on-line.

"Hello, I'm on the third now, let's go through the stairs to us."

I suppressed the urge to speak out and checked the number of charges in the rings and again - poke, poke, roof, look, third-floor window.

"Hello!"

"Yes, yes, put it here..."

They didn't give me a tip.

I don't want to say anything about this job, but I have to think of something. In the other world it's okay, but running around the floors like this is already stressing me out. And it's not because I forgot to read the note at all! And even if I did, I have a lot of other, more important thoughts!

For example, for some reason it feels like my work for System is a little side gig. If you think about it, I'm kind of like the peon in Warcraft. A unit of such minimal value and usefulness was sent to check the map. I don't know where I'm going, no weapons, no protection. And there are watchtowers up ahead.

The saddest thing is that I have to work on regular orders, too. Otherwise, I will be "failure to comply with the terms of the gentlemen's agreement". But I want to run in the unreal world, too! Or is the usual turnover an anchor, so that I do not plunge headlong into the unreal?

Within three hours I had somehow formulated the basic questions and decided what I wanted from the conversation. A familiar number, a call, beep: "Hello!"

I just now realized that I don't know his patronymic name.

"Hello, a lad of Julius. Did you find someone else?"

"No, I wanted to ask for some advice before you catch me in the act and put me in jail."

"It's reasonable, I like when the work is doing itself," he sounded like he was going somewhere. "I have lunch now, let's meet at the cafe..."

The one he named, I vaguely remembered. The slot was over, I didn't even have to take a lunch break, and it wasn't far. Ten minutes of very fast walking halfway through the teleport, and I stopped at the door of the place. The inspector seemed to be waiting and got out of the slowed car almost immediately.

"Come in."

It took some time to make a difficult choice between the fillings of the cheburek, then we settled down at the table. I just looked around through the scanner and made sure there were no surprises and waited for the inspector to satisfy his first hunger.

Rainin took a big bite out of half of the cheburek rolled up into a roll, and after chewing it, he asked with obvious pleasure: "So what did you want to know?"

"I switched to external quests, there are all sorts of stuff you can bring in here. Do we have any rules about that?"

"Did you open the auction?"

"Yes."

"If it's there and marked as safe, you can haul it in. Auction controlled by Systems."

So there's more than one?

"How many Systems are there anyway?"

He thought about it: "Well, Delivery, Skills, also Development, although it is rarely shown here. Hunters come in, fortunately rarely. And other unreal."

It didn't get any clearer, but at least something. Okay, next on the list: "Who rules the System?"

"Nobody, they are all things in themselves."

"But the money is earned, right? Someone has to receive it?"

"This is in theory. I, too, was very surprised at the time. Big business, as it turns out, can live without human involvement. A system that is completely soulless in every aspect."

"Somehow it's hard to believe all this."

"Strange statement from someone who has come face to face with a dead man."

I tried to remember what it was, so I clarified: "Is that the umrun?"

"Umrun, nav, ghoul, etc. The essence is the same, and you've met it. What, you still don't believe me?"

I had to dodge the answer by repeating his maneuver of folding the cheburek into a roll. I guess there's something to that. Now for the third question: "Are there any general guidelines for dealing with the unreal?"

"Even a song like that was composed. Don't think of anything that can end badly." He looked at me as if that should explain something, then grimaced. "So this is the generation that's grown up... Well, read a book about your setting. What's yours - games, anime?"

"I'm not so stupid to mess with anime!"

"So games. Well done, you can always win there, the System takes that into account. The main thing is to stay on the path. In every way."

That's true, but on the trail lies something that others were too lazy to pick up, or even thrown away for lack of use. All the good stuff goes to those who paved the trail.

"Tell me, what about the ordinary people," I nodded at the customers sitting across the table. "Don't they notice any of this at all?"

Rainin smirked: "Why? They notice. We have a default mechanism in our heads. It prevents us from paying close attention to wonders. The basic human capacity is to embody the unreal in various concepts. That is, as it were, what we are made for. But those who are too good at embodiment..."

He stared at me expectantly, and I continued: "Sooner or later they are eaten by an imaginary demon?"

"Or worse. As a result, being aware of strangeness is like having to poop your pants, theoretically, nothing prevents you from doing it, but try to do it. Understanding the true picture of the world is dangerous and can end badly, so people forbid themselves to see reality. Do you have a warranty?"

"I have."

"Have you figured out what it is yet?"

I wondered. What had I learned about the world this week? No, wait, my time is limited to his lunch, I have to stick to the list: "What is this unreal? How to identify it, what to stay away from?"

"Do you want a specific indication like, If it's light, don't go near it"?

"At least like this!"

Rainin answered with a question: "How can you describe something that can be a thing, a phenomenon, a cause-and-effect connection, a song? And all at the same time?"

I thought and assumed: "Through the effect on us?" And also remembering, I added: "The items in the auction have a "saturation" parameter, is that it?"

"Close, but no. Saturation is a real term, rather than conveying the amount embodied in an object. But even a crumb of unreal can give birth to a universe. And vice versa."

"But we do influence it, right?"

"Water takes the form of the vessel into which it is poured. And the unreal takes the form of the thoughts of the person who has caught it."

I clarified: "A specific person or all people?"

He nodded: "Or all people. There were believers - the unreal was hell and paradise, all their variants, and the entrances to them were known. It was quite possible to get to the land of Cockayne and the island of Avalon, even the maps remained. By the way, you might be able to get through now, the old unreal wasn't going anywhere, if they hadn't prescribed the apocalypse." He was quiet, finishing his meal not with such an appetite, but carefully, not missing a crumb, and then he continued: "There used to be religions, now there are players. Everyone influences reality at least a little bit, so they embodied the collective unconscious. That is, the water flows, it is the same and always the same, but now its form is exactly that - Systems. By the way, not only in our world."

"Are there others? I mean, are they enclaves or a whole big reality?"

"Do you believe in it? Then why shouldn't it exist?"

"So it's kind of a fiction..."

"It's you a "fiction", getting to "E" in less than a week."

So, the isekai worlds exist. And the one I was in, it's kind of real.

Rainin, leaning back in his chair and sipping his fruit juice, continued:

"Real and unreal are two sides of the same phenomenon. And each contains a sign of the opposite. That is, reality without chaos is a dead piece of space. And, accordingly, chaos begins to be only when it acquires some properties of orderliness."

Just like Grandpa said.

"Yeah, he often consults us on things like that."

I did not ask whether Rainin read my thoughts himself or with the help of a gadget.

I just opened my mouth, thought, and closed it. Apparently, that's how my brain ventilates itself because I remembered one of my grandfather's lectures. Not for me, but for the students, about the meaning of the statues of gods in ancient religions. There the great powers were perceived as something inherently inhuman, who couldn't understand our problems and had to adjust the user interface somehow. That's why the source of everything was considered to be the Great Unknowable Chaos, something chthonic and formless, and it was necessary to separate from it the part that was in charge of the rain and the harvest, for example. And when the gods were called to earth they were embodied in majestic, heavy, but still motionless statues. A safety technique when working with the supernatural, exactly. The formless took on a safe form. Then they developed the idea by making a separate dude on a throne, one with the deity; he had a brain that was not made of stone and understood more quickly what was expected of him. But there was less room in him... of unreal. And if something happened, he could be stabbed quickly.

What came before - our tales of Chaos or the unreal itself? So, in principle, we can assume that Adam and Eve were a random fluctuation of the non-real, who began to create matter and rules. They ate apples for the road and started to build.

But if there are gods, there must also be their opposites?

The inspector nodded: "How not to be, for example, "Descent". It's a game, it came out a little earlier than Dark Souls."

I thought about it: "I don't remember for some reason."

"Of course. The point of the game was kind of educational, where every wrong choice made the character less and less human. In the finale, an inattentive or simply lazy player made his character look creepy."

"Let me guess - the players started competing to see who could get the ugliest?"

"Yes, that's what happened. Then the breakthrough of unreal happened, the game materialized, and we got a whole bunch of demons. Our old, Soviet-era discharges worked, dragging them away. It was so bad in China that they started censoring everything en masse and making games exclusively in the style of "butterflies and unicorns."

"Descensus averno facilis est".As Grandpa likes to say.

"A thousand years ago, someone writes a book about demons and their power, scaring himself to death with a hiccup, slips it into the unreal, and gets a strong grimoire. But this book stays in the castle library and there is no access to it. And now any kid can make an indie game and release such evil things into the world that we can't get home after a month of chasing it."

Somehow my list became irrelevant. I wanted to ask about prices and duties, but my interlocutor was drawn to philosophy. Probably a professional deformation.

"And what is your advice in terms of security? And trade?"

"Security?" he paused, formulating. "Simplifying, the principle is as follows - focus on Delivery, since you work in it. If it's Systemic, you carry it. If it's magical on its own, don't even touch it; sometimes even the pros pounce, and you'll be eaten to hell. Study the setting more carefully, you have a head start over the locals, you can see from the outside."

It makes sense. When you know the whole plot ahead of time, it's much easier not to turn down the road in the direction of the dragon cave.

And about basic principles, go to your grandfather, talk to him.

Yeah, I can just see myself walking in, talking, and then they won't let me out of the house anymore. They put me on a plane and send me to Novaya Zemlya to chase penguins. Do you say they're not there? They'll bring them in especially for me. The only child in the family, after all.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

Rainin stood up, showing the end of the conversation: "A person can be sure of anything, the real world doesn't care about it. I was sure I was going to work for the Ecological Police, but now, I'm chasing witches. Be careful, keep your eyes open, and don't go into dangerous places without backup. Study the System..."

I wanted to say "and hack it!" but he was on his way out.

Damn, I forgot to ask what his name was! And it's inconvenient to shout in the back...I quickly pointed the scanner at Rainin's back:

Inspector, 22 lv.

The name does not reveal, in addition, again it is not clear what exactly the inspector is. Did he say environmental police? A search showed that the unit was closed down ten years ago. Well, it's still necessary to specify in what world it was closed. Who knows, in light of what he said, we may be a "setting," too.

Well, on the one hand, it became clearer, but on the other hand, the questions only increased. But in the light of what I heard, it's not so bad. Could have been something like "we're NPCs in the game" or worse. On the other hand - why is it bad to be an NPC? Download mods for nudity and ponies, and then go around laughing that everyone is not paying attention to these wonders.

Hmm, well, in general people don't pay attention to the fact that many of them have tails and ears anyway... Man, I forgot to ask about goat-footed people.

I stopped in front of the window and looked at my reflection through the scanner. No, the most normal person, cheeky and handsome. It was the middle of the day, I had a nice snack, and I learned a lot, such as the address of a decent cafe. What should I do now?

System slot 13.00-18.00, quest available.

Work, what else. The points won't earn themselves.

I was about to poke my finger into the "Activate" button, and I wondered. Something was wrong, but what was it? My body didn't want to think after a big snack, so I had to sit down on the sidelines and remember everything that had happened today. Didn't everything seem okay?

I remembered again, step by step: here I woke up, here I washed my face... here wasted a bunch of charges on that damn order... here we were talking.

The thought swirled around, not yielding and constantly slipping away. All right, let's take another step back, so yesterday I... Exactly!

The warranty is off

Definitely, it also increases loyalty to Delivery. After all, even last night I realized that they were competitors, and now I know for sure that the System is not the only one in the world, but I still can barely remember.

Or is it more correct to say "in worlds"? Never mind. With a quick search, I found yesterday's message, which I got before I went to bed. Well, well, "offer to review" is clear, "discount version available" is also clear. It was below...

At the very bottom was a small logo, a familiar cabinet with small scrolls. And underneath it was two calligraphic letters. The curls, the tails, all very pretty. But the point is different - the letters are not "S" and "D", but "S" and "S"!

And I found out today that System is not the only one.

There are more and more wonders around me.

Damn, I want to go home, to the attic. It's quiet, no one's harassing... prospective and promising... potentially powerful wizard... a wanderer through the worlds of such a wisely chosen setting... who has an eternity of awesome adventures ahead of him...

Okay, fine.

And I opened the attachment of the letter.

* * *

RiP · May 24, 2022

Chapter 11
* * *
First-level dummy, upgrade available.

Mannequin? For what - to practice skills? The icon said nothing, just a stylized figure. The text beside it didn't clarify anything either, only an explanation:

A percentage will be charged when converting into Delivery Points. You can get your own Skills Coin by ordering through the app.

It did not become clearer, but at the auction, the main currencies are points, coins, and crystals. Apparently, the main Systems are represented. Or even simpler - all systems are one company, masquerading as different. If someone is tired of working in one system, a "competitor" immediately calls to the other one. Or if someone is not too busy working, then the free time is offered to "profitable entertainment". Capitalism!

Although Rainin said that the Systems are on their own... You can't believe everything people say, can you? He'll tell me horror stories about reality, and then it'll turn out that his department happens to have a safe intern position.

When I tried to get a "dummy" the phone reported the need to install a new application. So, let's think - do I need it? Aren't there too many wonders for one big, beautiful me? I haven't figured out Delivery yet, and there's something else on offer. Too many wonders for one beautiful me.

No.

And without waiting for another temptation, I slipped the phone into my pocket.

Okay, I'm going to start brainstorming! We need to figure out what to do next.

As luck would have it, not a single thought occurred to me. It's the chebureks, they must be poisoned! I have to sell the flower and arrange for further deliveries. It is better not to ask Rainin, I already owe him, so I need to find a herbalist myself. Or an apothecary? And such that would deal with magical potions. Who could tell me? The one who persuaded me to do "medium healing potions," he should know.

That is the road for me to the base. Well, I've made up my mind.

By the way, I still have to figure out what to charge for weed. System points and other coins are great, but it's someone else's. Maybe a natural exchange would work better for me.

Standing at a traffic light, I suddenly thought about everything that was going on around me right now. If I hadn't found the ring if I hadn't taken out the warranty, what would have happened? I would have run around for a couple of weeks, saved up some money, and kept playing with my games. I would have remembered it all as a funny story, like "what my parents drove me to". I'd be proud of the suffering I'd endured.

Would have missed some interesting opportunities.

Or didn't get into them? Yeah, I'm just a simple working delivery unit for now. Maybe I'll upgrade to something cooler, raise my price. But I'll still be in the System. I tried to wiggle out of it and was immediately offered an alternative. Tried to wiggle out - here's another System, just stay.

According to the rules of the fairy tale, it should be three times, but I have a feeling that on the third time I will be forced. I don't want to know how exactly the soulless, inhuman System can act in such cases. I am not a conflicted person, so let's go to compromise, that is a smile, a corporate tie, and a willingness to work!

All those things I hate.

"Hello, folks!"

There were no people in the seventh hall... Almost. There was our Protagonist, that is, yesterday's schoolboy with glasses, and the Old Man explaining something to him.

"It is unreal, it has no laws. It has us, making up rules and laws for it, which it makes eternal and unchangeable. Until the next operator."

Yeah, and the Old Man is, unsurprisingly, the "wise mentor of the hero," he even has "Sage 8 lv." in his status. Well, whatever - as long as he's not the main villain in the third season.

I interrupted the wise speech: "Better tell me, colleague, where I can sell the loot from a long journey?"

The Old man glanced at me and muttered a little bit of a tutorial: "Some people don't learn anything and don't want to learn. Have you seen too many American movies or marbles gone out of greed? You tell him about the anomalies, he tells you about the loot. They don't want to think about anything but money. Till his guts are scattered all over the branches."

"What is this danger? I've got protection, and I'm looking around!"

"It's not much use," he cut off and turned to Goggles. "Tell me, young man, what is the most dangerous thing in our work?"

That one suggested: "Dragons?"

"Unreal. Have you seen people in the scanner with horns and tails and stuff?"

"Yeah, sure."

"It's all unembodied. Something that is ready to appear, but remains an idea. A quest is always a chance to bring your idea to life. Don't think..."

I interrupted: "Nothing that could end badly."

Suddenly I wondered. The Old Man, seeing that I was silent, nodded accordingly: "There, you're already realizing. Just now, how many quests were there? And in each one, you could grow something or invent a danger that you couldn't handle. But the main thing is not what could happen. You're not the only one thinking."

He looked at me skeptically, demonstratively, and corrected himself:

"If, of course, you think at all. And after all, hundreds and thousands of people see you every day! And everyone can imagine something. And if they come across something that has had contact with the unreal for a long time... who could it be? Probably someone who walks around unreal like in his apartment doesn't listen to smart people, and ends up in a bad way!"

"Then stop talking stuff about me!"

He smirked: "There is no need to be afraid here, the seventh hall is under warranty. The System takes care of us."

The megane-kid, who was staring intently into a corner, suddenly asked: "Then why isn't the world filled with miracles? If everyone can make them up so easily?"

"First of all, who says it's not filled? More often use the scanner, just remember that while you don't see the unreal, it doesn't see you very much either. And secondly... far more people believe that miracles don't happen. And that's even more dangerous."

I opened my mouth again, let my thoughts out, closed it. Really, if someone thinks I'm someone, that's one thing. That could still be fixed somehow. But if he thinks I don't exist? That I seemed to him? That I no longer exist?

The Old Man continued to inflate: "You think somewhere on the trail, "I am a free bird," and then you flap your wings and fly away. Or someone thought about you, and all you have to do is flap your wings. You won't even remember that you are actually different!"

Goggles-kid and I were impressed. Hero was the first to come to his senses, and he asked me a businesslike question: "How to defend yourself?"

"Wear a cloak, it shields you. Use the bag, it takes the attention away. And do not take difficult quests!"

He said that, squinting in my direction. Yeah, I guess there's a chance that I'm going to think of this as a fun adventure and forget all about miracles after all. I don't like that kind of ending, but there must be something about it that corresponds to the general unconscious.

"All right, the scare session was a success. Better still, enlighten me about the sale of ingredients."

With a sigh, the colleague explained: "If your head is not working at all, see the list of permanent quests. Set up a filter, finally. And think - if someone constantly orders deliveries to a certain address for a year or more, then there's business there."

"What if there's a trap?"

"System is not profitable to lose couriers, so they will eat two or three and the order will be closed."

Encouraged, the kid with the glasses and I went straight to the settings. The Old Man, seeing that his entire lecture had passed our ears, snorted unhappily and covered himself from reality with a newspaper.

I, scrolling through the list, inquired out of politeness: "Why is it so empty, where is everybody?"

"Am I my colleague's keeper?"

"What about Warlock?"

The Old man looked over the newspaper:

"Is there anything specific you want to know?"

I hesitated, picking my answer. Actually, our Abstinence interested me as an obvious candidate for inquiries about the System of Skills, thanks to his eyesight. By the way, you can get something like that on your own, right? Should I tell myself more often "I have beautiful eyes and can see everything"?

No, I'll refrain from experimenting. Otherwise, something grows in the wrong place.

One of the assignments attracted me with the tag "repeatable," though there was only a "B" and it paid very little but now the benefit was different. It was an assignment that could be booked, which increased the reward by ten percent. I quickly clicked "I agree," and almost immediately the kid in glasses cursed annoyingly.

Whoever didn't make it, is late!

While the storekeeper went behind his barrier to look for the package, I continued my questioning: "Tell me, O great sage..."

Old man squinted skeptically.

"There are goat-legs in the hall, one-third of them. Are they "disembodied," too, or is there something else?"

"Something else."

Judging by his tone, he wanted to be convinced and I didn't disappoint him: "What then? Is it an alien invasion?"

With a sigh, the Old Man began to explain from afar, although he didn't do it as willingly as he did for Glasses-kid:

"Any world is a balance of its inhabitants' perceptions of reality. In fact, the world is born when those who live in it begin to think it is right. Some belief in magic, and it works there. Some worship gods and they come down from heaven. Our world is built on technology and to some it is wild. If I understand correctly, most of these," he nodded toward the common room. "Ordinary peasants or whatever they are. It makes no difference to them whether it's another world or their towns, and there are bound to be strange creatures and strange wonders in both. They are used to doing simple jobs, living near their tribesmen... The fact that those around them have "straight animal paws" is understandable to them, because everyone who is not born in their village, they are all strange. If our peasant gets into their world he will live the same way, fly around town on a broomstick or whatever, and take orders through a magic ball. We are that deep unreal to them. But they're almost safe for us, too."

Having engaged in his favorite business, i.e. preaching, the old man became lively again, but I was more interested in something else. After thinking it over, I specified: "So inter-world travel isn't too dangerous after all, is it?"

He rolled his eyes but answered: "The main problem with the outer quests is not the danger, but the fact that you can't escape from there. At our place, you see something, jump off the trail, and you're more or less home. Penalty, of course, takes away points, but you are alive. And there until you've completed the delivery, they won't show you the way back."

"Better yet, tell me another thing - is there any way to make a permanent route?"

"Through the setting?"

"Yep."

This time he rolled his eyes even more, but he answered anyway: "You have to get a foothold there somehow, that is, get a status. These," he pointed to the common room. "They got a license, and it worked as a justification for being here. You can buy real estate, or rent real estate, or whatever, you can figure it out from the setting. And then opens a tab for local assignments. You do as much as they tell you..."

I interrupted: "How much, approximately?"

"Somewhere around a hundred or more."

"Quests?!"

"Yeah."

"Damn..."

The Old man smiled sneeringly and remained silent. But on the other hand a hundred quests there is a lot of points!

There was a cough from the counter, and the storekeeper laid out a small package. Putting it in the bag I shook it - definitely, something liquid. And delivery to the pharmacy, that is, everything as I was recommended.

"Bye, folks! Oh, no - who knows why you have to put your nose to the screen when you confirm?"

The old man, without putting down his paper, muttered: "Heel."

Distracted from his choice of order, Goggle-kid said with embarrassment: "Belly."

It didn't get any clearer.

"Well, then, have a nice day."

Poke, poke, step.

On the bus, I tried to see the details of the dummy icon. I couldn't see anything, and that's a pity. So anyone with unreal energy, that very saturation, can directly change what's around them? Or be changed themselves, if one's will or abilities are cooler. An unpleasant discovery, but then again - who says it's true? Or - that it's all true? Eh, that man was right to say: in much knowledge are many sorrows. Someone simple would think about simple and good things, but I think about the fate of the universe, maybe that's why I'm scattering my magical talent. But I support all things with my mighty mind!

Found the pharmacy quickly, with only two conditions of arrival at the place. They don't seem to be hiding much. Inside, it looked more like a stylization of the nineteenth century, the girl behind the counter even had some kind of bonnet on her head made of starched fabric.

Apprentice Potionist, 11 lv.

"Good afternoon, delivery."

It's a good identification sign - if a girl smiles or shows the fuck in the camera, it's understandable. And if in response she takes hers and scans, it means she's one of ours.

"Hello."

She took my roll and shoved it somewhere under the counter. Well, no howls of "mortal!" or promises to put me on ingredients, it's a shame. Well, the customer is adequate, let's try to start a conversation:

"It's nice here. It's just like a real magic pharmacy."

"Been to faraway worlds?"

Is she talking about unreal?

"Yeah, but it's boring. There's no wifi."

"But the food and fabrics are natural."

"By the way, do you accept flowers from there?"

Without much interest, she pulled out a pile of scuffed printouts in files from her locker and laid them out in front of me. We identified the merchandise from the picture on my phone; the price wasn't too high, but five hundred points didn't hurt, either.

They grow next to the road.

"Do you work every day? I'm contracted to deliver to you on a regular basis."

"Yeah, all day."

"I'll bring it by tomorrow morning, then?"

There was small talk. In fact, I was expecting something more from the sale of a magical flower from another world. More...

The potion-maker bit her lip and suddenly blurted out: "Hey, can you get me one thing?"

"From where?"

"It's not far from here, you're a delivery man, they'll take you in quick ways. It's just for me to walk a long way. It's just a little box, one box."

"And how can I do that? The quest can be assigned to someone else."

"Nonsense, let's convert through the board!"

Apparently, my face was expressive, because she rolled her eyes, pulled out her phone, and started explaining. Ten minutes later, after spending another three hundred points, I gained access to the "Advertisements" section. The girl was looking over my shoulder, pointing her finger, and showing me on her phone the example.

Private ads, of all kinds, there are even checkboxes like "languages I understand". And next to half of them there is a mark - it is possible to convert to System Tasks. Hmm, it is clear that they take a percentage and not so small, but the idea is interesting. Allows you to choose the quests yourself, instead of mandatory.

Uh-huh, so now I will not only carry orders, but I will also look for them myself.

"Okay, all payments through the app. By the way, what do you get paid for potions?"

I thought there were some coins in here that could be traded profitably in the magical world, but the potionist picked up the phone.

"Cashless? So you don't even see any real money?"

"Have you seen it lately?"

A logical question. You pay with your phone, order with it, transfer and receive on it. Magic energy is sucked through it, too.

"Okay, we agreed on the price. By the way, what do you want to brew? What if I get spotted by "cops"?"

"Cops? Nah," she chuckled. "I want to make a metamorphosis potion, but it's okay."

Apparently, my face is too expressive and I've read too many NC-17 fanfics. With a snort, she explained the meaning of the potion to me. I know girls aren't exactly normal creatures, but I clarified: "So you want a real tail?"

"Yep."

"And real crest?"

"Yep."

"And real fangs:"

"Yep."

"You drink this magical crap that grows this on you," I pointed at myself with my fingers outstretched. "With a good chance it'll grow on you forever, all just for the sake of a Comicon cosplay?"

She snorted again: "Not for cosplay! But you wouldn't understand!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don't you go yourself?"

"What am I, a fool to wander around in unreal?!"

It sounded kind of hurtful. The potion-maker, sensing my mood, corrected herself: "Everyone has their own business and their own dangers."

"What about you?"

"Yesterday the potion ran away."

"From the stove?"

"Outside. Good thing I caught up with it and nailed it down."

Note to memory: don't cook anything with magic ingredients. When I eat soup it's okay, but when soup eats me it's overkill. After looking at her ad again and checking the details, I pressed the "convert" button.

You are offered a personal quest.

Accept/Reject.

Yes.

A short wait, the phone bleeped, and I checked the description. So, two pages, and the city is familiar, judging by the name. Very lucky, if it's the same city in the same world.

After quickly saying goodbye and making it clear that I would stop by tomorrow with the wilted flower, I left. The sun was still high, and I needed the money. So we open another slot, pick up an order, and hit the road. And not to get bored on the way - message board, search. Topics with the words "skill system dummy", "activation", "advice".

I'm still wondering what it is, though.

* * *

RiP · Jun 2, 2022

Chapter 12

* * *

So, point by point - running to Gringots, getting the Lord's rings, then jumping into the arch of Death, getting Taylor out of the locker, magically making the connection, "Door to me!", taking the ring from Frodo, jumping onto the Eagle, on the fly getting the broom from the sizeless backpack, going through the portal, "Ahsoka, be my Padawan! ", flying the Millennium Falcon to the edge of the galaxy, "Taylor, it's the Leviathan Hive Fleet, get them under control," now into the warp and while the controlled Tyranids bite Grandpa Nurgle's ass we free Isha... and then to Konosubu, to measure by the gathered teams!

I reread the rough plan, corrected a couple of points, and decided that as a backup it would be fine. Or as a basis for fanfic if I don't get enough unreal. In light of everything I've learned, it's doable. Even isekai, it turns out, is a common thing in our world, both as a phenomenon of the general unconscious and as a natural mechanism of nature. Everything that is invented is possible.

And an owl from Hogwarts might arrive after all. And it will be a real magical owl, not a trained one from a menagerie... As I said, Mom and Dad are some kinds of demotivators.

With a sigh, I glanced at my watch. This time the quest was starting at exactly the right time as if a window had been allotted for it in some strange schedule. I took the minimum slot because as soon as I activated the quest, a menacing thing popped up:

Dear Messenger Marius!

The Delivery System reminds you that you can only use the app if you comply with the contract.

That is to say, you may cheat, but you must fulfill your duties. Otherwise, they will cut off the gas, that is, cut off the oxygen. Well, that was good for me. While you run and spread all sorts of crap, there is time to think about how to earn your first million. All the more reason to take the setting into account.

So far there were two items - magnifying glasses and a cloth. In other words stuff, we can make by the machine, taking advantage of manual labor there. Two issues are open, they are taxes and profitability. If a unit of goods is worth a hefty sum in the local currency, it does not mean that I will get anything out of all the exchanges. Plus the protection of local producers... which theoretically can be bypassed by smuggling, the fact that I'm in the bag a lot of things, and teleport will allow bypassing outposts. But then again, it's criminal, and it has its risks. Why take risks without first trying a fair business?

Expensive and small goods are extremely convenient markets. No need for warehouses, no need for caravans, and if it is also stored for a long time, then it's even gorgeous. And so they will keep such a trade tight, up to and including the physical extermination of competitors. Consequently, I must find a decent niche to grind the local currency, buy potions and bring them here, where everyone will gladly take them, as assured by the pharmacist. What do I need money for? It is clear that my father obviously will not take it into account in the dispute, but do not throw away your chance because of such a small thing? Besides, yesterday I had an idea about an interesting income here, but it again requires money there.

Plus it's always worth bearing in mind that I will be sent to more than one city there, which means that I must have something to trade along the routes there. There is, of course, the miracle artifact that allows me to make money just by walking around... which is a phone with a magic junk detector. But how often do I get an ingredient even a rare level in games? And epic? What about without boosts and premium? That's it; I don't want to wander the woods for a handful of pennies for days. Anyone who's ever seriously tried to make money in games knows that farming is in last place in terms of profitability. Normal business can not depend on luck "will fall out or not," and "I have time to rip the first or not," so the gold is made on auctions, resales, and helping the players. Yes, from a monster can fall out loot, which you sell for a thousand gold pieces, but if all the time spent on the massacre to spend processing statistics and adjustment of the addon trade, then the average comes out much higher. So huddling in dungeons and adventuring through the woods and fields is not for me.

On the other hand, I do not know the prices, the demand for reagents is also a mystery, so dull transportation of goods is waiting for me. Since I have the opportunity to generate my quests, I have to use them.

The minimum task is to join the Adventurers' Guild. True, my class, I can not even imagine but the goal is clear: to get adventurer status and access to quests, to score a quick achievement, allowing to anchor there, find out the demand and the price difference, and then organize a chain resale. In general, all the things I was going to do as soon as I earned a computer and a separate room, but in a more real world.

The ultimate challenge... I don't even know. Castles with princesses somehow do not attract, there is experience of living. To break into the elite of heroes? What am I, sick? They can kill. Too little I know about the realities of the game setting, while I need to listen more and ask questions. Along the way, building up the initial fund.

Buzz.

I got up, carefully buttoned my cape, checked my bag-there was a snack, even two snacks just in case. And I bought two dozen palm-sized scraps of cloth this morning, too. The optics were just for the moment because it was unclear how the plastic of the frames would behave on the other side of the unreal when I stepped away from it.

Ugh, well, it's time. The Old Man screwed me yesterday, but... The world turns out to change us - what's new about that? Just found out one of the previously unknown mechanisms of change. So much the better, we can somehow control it. Or at least pretend, for your peace of mind. Moreover, there is something good here: Dozhdin said almost directly that I could wait for a delivery order to London, to Diagon Alley. We couriers are on an adventure road full of wonders, and you never know where we'll end up. Maybe I'll see some real heroes, like King Arthur or Chip and Dale. By the way, there are a lot of sleeping heroes who will come at the last moment. Are these mysterious "discharges" really not based on them?

In short, life became a little scarier but also calmer at the same time. There are miracles in the world, and they have their own rules. Just like me:

Walk on the left side of the street, turn into the passageway, go under the stairs.

There was a ladder against the wall, and someone was standing on the top step. It's a dangerous business, working as a courier... Remembering to think positively, I quickly corrected myself: but I am not a courier! I am a messenger and with a capital M!

We, Messengers, don't fail anywhere and always get to the point!

That's how it turned out.

But this time I got a little farther into the woods, and it took me almost an hour to get to the road. Was I being provoked into wasting teleport charges? The more I spent, the faster I'd pay for the recharge? Maybe so, but what else could I do? I needed the charges, they were my chance for a place in the Guild.

Four archetypal classes, but I'm definitely not a warrior. Not a thief, stealth is not for me, even cookies from the kitchen only get to me by dashing. And not a healer, but a mage with a teleporter! Although we'll see, because I do not plan to join a team, and the loner's lot can be difficult.

The familiar field did not please me at all. The app did not recognize the blue prickly flowers, even thought it did not work here, but after ten minutes of walking in the dense grass, which covered a long-standing cinder with the remnants of trunks, I found one magic spike. Yes, farming is not my thing, as was said. Having set the timer I began to search further, searched about half a hectare in an hour, and found as many as four unambiguously magical plants. The blue flower was the only one.

So you wonder if it became magical after I dragged it through the unreal paths. No, it was in my bag, it was shielded. On the other hand, I finally have the goods! If they all go for the same price, then an hour here I do the equivalent of two quests, that is a whole day of anxious running! Ten coins are something. But let's see what they say at customs - there to determine the amount of duty, right? At the same time, I'll find out the prices for free.

The reality, of course, failed. The flowers were only checked for malignancy, the tax was a guest fee, except that the fabric samples were groped with interest. Here already a familiar lady-changer was watching closely, and I did not miss the chance. They didn't tell me the exact price - I had to bargain, but they specified the price of full-cut and showed me what could be done with rags, and what was better in the city. They also hinted that the residents of the city don't pay fees, but I preferred to part with the silver, poked myself in the chest with the guest pass I received, made sure it stuck and walked proudly through the gate.

The town, as expected, has not changed. The streets are still full of people, the streets are still clean and tidy. The map with the main sights is still displayed on the phone.

This time I visited a chemical store: glassed-in cupboards with jars of strange things floating or lying around in them. The requested goods were handed out without questions, as soon as I put a bag of white powder on the counter. The only dreadful thing about the whole thing because if the cops had picked me up there at home, there would have been some unpleasant questions. Of course, I still have to be caught up, but I have faith in our law enforcement officers!

The saleswoman took my hundred grams of crushed aspirin, checked it with a magic crystal, and put the box out:

"Your dragon scales."

"Thank you. Do you assess the flowers?"

The service was rendered to me, and at the same time, they bought it. I put some of the money on the phone. I literally put it on top of the phone, tying a rubber band around the bag of coins. The points counter in the app started spinning slowly, less often than it did with the 100 bucks I got from Umrun, but nevertheless

It was only at the last moment that I realized that the tests in the Guild could be paid for, and I had nothing. It was a third cheaper than I thought it would be, but I also found out the prices: the local silver was 1 to 100 system points.

After completing the mandatory chores and making sure I had a path home open, I finally got on to more interesting things. The app plotted a route to the Adventurer's Guild, and I set off on my adventure.

On the way, I thought mostly about prices. So far I'm still a low-paying staff and it's a little sad. On the other hand, an hour in the field earned me two days' rent for a decent room here plus a good three meals a day. But that's an hour "dirty" because I had to splurge to create an order, then move here then have to come back. That's a full day's work, and I still have to make regular orders, Delivery is relentless. Damn him knows, maybe the point is that I'm discharging accumulated in the quests while running from fast food to the customer? Okay, let them, the main thing is that so far there is no benefit. Good work - yes, there is, but the benefit and super-profits so far bypassed.

Okay, let's work.

"What is your business, young master?"

Behind the counter in the Guild was a real upright fox. I picked up the scanner automatically - the strange thing is that a man with ears and an animal face can have ears and horns and other parts of other creatures. This one, I admit, could have several tails (though what would a multi-tailed one do behind the counter?), but horns? I'll have to clear up the question.

"Can you tell me, please, how do adventurers become adventurers?"

With a foxy smile, she reached under the counter, pulling out a box of some kind: "Put your hand here."

"Not nose?"

"Ah, the gentleman is joking."

Actually, not at all, but we smile and wave. The fox-registrar scrutinized the lid of the box under my fingers, and then raised her nose toward me: "I am sorry, sir, but you do not meet the requirements of the Guild."

Suddenly.

"And what are these requirements?"

"Mandatory possession of skills or spells."

I was about to raise my hand to demonstrate my signature "poke, poke, poke," but I stopped. What was I supposed to do, shine a light on the possession of an artifact?

Too bad, too bad. I wanted to use your order board.

"A young gentleman can apply to the Trade Guild. The orders of newcomers are very similar."

And she tilted her head a little to the side, smiling.

A rather strange sensation, actually. It's not a snout at all, but it has an elongated mouth and quite sharp teeth. And all this does not create the effect of being alien, she looks exactly like a beast-man. There are nosers, there are broad-mouthed, and there are beast-like ones like this. And besides the cheeks and lips beastly, flat tongue, but the voice is normal, a young woman. She has nothing to say in that voice. Illusion?

Or unreal?

I looked on the map for the "trade guild," but I asked for directions anyway. The fox was still polite - or was she? I can read her emotions only by her voice and body position. She explained, and the path indicated coincided with the one on the phone. I looked back once more at the board with the leaves, so close and so inaccessible, and went first to the courtyard, where the adventurers were engaged in their incomprehensible affairs, and then to the street.

Fail.

The merchant guild is something I'm not familiar with. There was some ancient anime about a merchant and a fox, but I don't even remember the plot. What's up with the merchants' tasks - buy ten apples and take them a thousand miles away? That's how it is with my job. What's with the order there, what's with the order here...

The mood is not spoiled, but it's always unpleasant when plans begin to change without regard to you. On the other hand, according to the terms of the setting, membership in such a guild means discounts, access to faction goods, reputation with the local authorities. Maybe even be able to buy a house. But it will all be later, but I want it right away. What can you sell here? Aspirin in powder? Pharmaceuticals disguised as "non-magical artifacts"? So they are not savages living here, the locals know how to do things I do not even guess.

But then again, on the other hand... did I have a plan for this too? I did. Then it's okay!

Cheered up, I moved toward the imposing building with its sign in the shape of an ox-drawn carriage, scanning around with my scanner. The percentage of townspeople with "disembodied body parts" was not too different from what I'd seen back home. Some, seeing my attention, said hello, friendly or not so friendly. Some passed me by indifferently. I looked at the group of adventurers carrying something like a bale on a stick, and then I looked closely. I'll have to check it out, but it's authentic.

"What's your question, man?"

Here I was greeted without a smile. Apparently, there is a need for politeness, so that nervous adventurers after adventures do not start throwing fireballs, and here the time is money.

"What does joining a guild get me? And do the merchants have some sort of order board?"

There were fewer people here, but the design seems to be typical - to the right of the common room are the doors to the dining room, to the left to some warehouses, plus the stairs to the second floor, where you can see the beginning of the corridor with the doors.

"Are you just curious?"

"I'm looking for profit."

Apparently, my reply was the right one. The man leaned against the counter and began to talk. To begin with, the Guild united merchants, that is, those who bought in one place and drove to another. Shopkeepers had their shops, as did the artisans who traded their products. "No one" wasn't liked here, but members of respected associations enjoyed the benefits, for example, the same entry fees were lower and the guest card was issued free of charge, it was enough to write in the logbook at the gate. You can buy a house in the city, once you get to the third rank, that is, the silver.

Beginners start at the seventh "porcelain" rank (so it is clay, but PR). Growth in status by the number and volume of transactions, renting a warehouse is available from the sixth. In contrast to the adventurers, personal capital and the number of items did not play a role in the status rose only on merit, rocket straight to the gold rank can not. Although there are probably ways, such as a move from one city to another their own goods ... Okay, let's remember and then specify. Also, unlike the adventurers, the former merits are not remembered here, from the "platinum" unsuccessful trader could fall back to "clay".

But discounts on assessors, discounts on hiring security guards, internal ratings of employees and agents... all of which I can't access on the seventh. The bulletin board is available, and most importantly, the internal sales.

"Is everyone's right to choose equally?"

"According to the rules yes..."

"But life is life."

We smirked at the same time. Understandably, good merchandise is allowed to get to the right people sooner, but that's the way it is everywhere.

"All right, what do I need from you for the registration?"

"A sponsor or a certificate of your reliability."

I wondered. I don't know anyone here, and I don't even have anything to bribe them with. I looked at my phone, opened my own status in the app at random: "Is it working?"

Without surprise, the manager took a box from the shelf, pulled out a rod with a ball on the end, and held it over the phone. The ball blinked, and the man hummed: "Acceptable, we haven't had visitors from afar in a long time, but it'll work."

I was given a token, a simple sign half the size of my palm, with the city seal on one side and the same carriage on the other. I mechanically scanned it:

External device detected.

For connection, it is necessary to combine with the application.

I looked thoughtfully at the man and placed the token on top of the phone. A short hiss, a vibration like a bell, and the clay token suddenly began to crumble. Only there were no crumbs left, it melted, sinking into the screen. We watched for almost a minute, and when the token dissolved completely the manager held his wand over the phone one more time, and making sure that it was blinking, he agreed:

"That's just as well. Although, of course, it kind of weird."

There's another tab in the Deliveries app. My gut feeling tells me that I will now be charging a percentage of my local deals there as well.

"Are you trading the junk left by the adventurers?"

"Do you need something specific or what?"

"Used but still wearable pieces of armor and ammunition. Bags, boots, belts. No weapons."

It was explained to me that several people in the city dealt with this kind of product, but if I needed cheap and high quality, it was better to go to one particular person... I sighed inwardly and agreed. They will strip the newbie, I give you my word. But what I can do?

After agreeing on a deadline, I quickly browsed the ad board. Delivery there, delivery there - it was all so familiar, so disgusting. Well, at least I wouldn't have to beat the rats in the basement or the bunnies on the edge of the forest. I'll be the one hiring adventurers now!

Well, now that we're done here, we must get on to the next most important thing. I turned to the manager, cleared my throat, and inquired businesslike:

"Colleague, can you advise me, where is a decent brothel around here?"

* * *

RiP · Jul 18, 2022

Chapter 13

* * *

"This is unbearable!"

"You agreed to it, so work."

"Pervert! Do you even know that that's not what girls are for?"

"Bend over... more. Hey, are you going to bend at all, what did I pay you for?"

"I'm already bent out! I can't do it more!"

"And you do your best. And look at me with a smile, I want to see the joy on your face!"

The girl snorted angrily and sagged, and then grinned her fangs in such a promising smile that my phone almost fell out of my hands. But it didn't, so I continued the photoshoot.

It's not every day you get to shoot a real cat lady stretching in bed.

Actually, the brothel was last in line. I wanted to check the prices of spices first. I guess it was the history lessons and the memory of the bland porridge from the local diner. But then I had to admit that higher-class places might be better with pepper, and who knows how much more fragrant spices are in demand in a world full of non-human races. A Beastman with his sense of smell wouldn't like pepper, and an elf might die... probably.

Condoms were also on the list. I put them at the bottom of the list, and only because the writers of the post-apocalypse are convinced that they're indispensable. So I went to the brothel to find out about direct supplies.

Already in the place, looking at a couple of customers and five girls, I realized... if you can still find something for a halfling man, it's harder to find something for a minotaur. Individual orders are expensive, and there's no profit in it. And then a catgirl came down the hall! That's when I knew what I had to do!

To my joyful cry of "This one!" it was replied that Mistress Mira was leaving and could only spare fifteen minutes, so if I had enough... The implication, apparently, was that I would proudly pay double for an hour at once. I'm supposed to be an overconfident young man by my age, right? That's okay, I'm not proud, five minutes was enough for me. I wanted pictures of an exotic woman, I got them!

Although, my money in this institution was only enough to look at.

And judging by what she was wearing now, it was the right choice.

"Isn't the outfit too warlike?"

Mira (I wanted so badly to call her "Mir-r-nya-ah") tapped her finger on the scabbard, which had an iron sign attached to it. I took a picture of it, too: the divided shield had four parts. A sword, a staff, a book, and a bow.

"So you're an adventurer..."

"Yeah."

"And you come here for fun?"

"And for money. You can make some extra money if you don't have orders."

She was getting dressed, and I was filming this fascinating process at the same time.

"And what if the client is unpleasant?"

"I'll kill him."

Well, that makes sense.

As I was sorting pictures, I didn't notice when Mira, having completed her outfit, came up to me and peeked into my phone... put her arm around me... stroked my shoulder... Then the girl's hand rested on my chest, but before I had time to imagine something appropriate to the situation, I was taken by the throat and my back was pressed into the wall:

"You only paid by watching!"

"I am!"

"You made my pictures!"

Mira half-sniffed and half-purred, and I would have been frightened... if she'd pulled out a weapon. She didn't even let her claws out.

"You know what I do with clients like that?"

She even tried to lift me, but for once the weight was working for me. So I clung to her paw, lifted my head higher, and wheezed:

"Claim your share?"

"Half!"

"Ten percent."

Mira froze, and then hissed as she tried to pick me up again. Again it didn't work, and she just kicked me to the floor. And then she sat on top of me and purred: "Half, no less!"

"Here... great service... I didn't order this."

You can learn a lot about yourself at times like this. For some reason, I couldn't be afraid of this girl's fluffy fur and flattened ears. She jumped up from me and pressed me to the floor with her knee. I had to make a concession:

"Ten percent. Twenty if you bring a female friend."

The adventurer thought about it and suggested: "Ten friends at once and you give it all?"

"Neck... let go..."

Her eyes are beautiful, amber.

Mira let go of her neck but still had her hand on the chest. It's perfectly feline behavior to choke a mouse, then let it go and wait for it to start fluttering again. Okay, I'll flutter: "The realization is mine, the delivery is mine, the processing of the photos is mine - there's no normal light, no ambiance! And you want half at once?"

"I want!"

"Suck it. You get a tenth of what I make from selling pictures."

She tapped her finger on her lips thoughtfully and suggested: "Are you going to sell something else along with them and make money on it? Half!"

"Just out of respect for your beauty and perseverance, fifteen percent."

"Are you looking for death?"

I carefully moved her knee to press in the right place, settled back, and explained: "I am looking for an adequate companion."

She immediately grinned her fangs, let her claws out, and slowly swept them over my face: "Maybe ten is your share. Besides, if I just kill you, I have nothing to lose."

"Well, you'll lose an unknown amount of money that you could have earned with my help. And you'll start to wonder how much stuff you could have bought with that money."

Removing her claws, she tapped her finger on her lips again and stretched out: "You're too calm. So is there something up your sleeve?"

"Like you don't have any?"

She took her knee off me, which was kind of disappointing, and stood up. Then she bent down, pulled me to my feet with a jerk, and shook me off: "So thirty percent and ten percent for the friend?"

"Fifteen for the ones where you are, and ten from the pictures I take with your help. If you're a model, that's one line of income, and if you're an agent, that's another."

"All right. But let's make a contract on a guild artifact."

"Your place or mine?" I flipped through the app, opened the tab with the coat of arms of "merchants" and demonstrated, and then I warned her: "You just do not count on a big income," she grinned in earnest, and I quickly corrected. "I mean, you're certainly pretty, but a lot of competition, it is popular and we have plenty of artists, better than me. I saw you and immediately realized that this is an opportunity! But any profit is the result of a lot of work, you know. There is no light, no interior, how do you want to compete with those who are engaged in such a thing for years? We have some serious work to do..."

I rambled my excuses at a pace, the girl's clamped ears straightened, and I exhaled softly. I had to watch my tongue. I could miss a moment for teleportation, you know.

I looked at Mira again and coughed: "By the way, now that we are partners..."

"Money first."

Fail, but it was worth a try.

We walked along the road, talking quite peacefully, though Mira didn't let go of my hand. I mean, from the outside it probably looked like she was hanging on me, but I was being escorted. Only when we had written down the terms on a sheet of paper, which we placed on an artifact box in the Guild of Adventurers, after which the treaty dissolved into thin air, did the girl let me go, even stroking my cheek with a wish: "Now go and make a lot of money for me!"

Then she turned and walked away, wiggling her hips. Oh, man, I forgot to take a picture of the best part! I wondered how her feet were made - like animal feet, but how does she walk like a human? Well, next time.

After confirming that there was now a permanent contract on the app and that the porcelain status progress bar was three percent full, I put my phone away and inquired of the foxy manager: "Where's the old junk sale here?"

"The trade of slightly second-hand, but quite worthy of an adventurer, is conducted in the Guild's warehouse, young lord."

Trade was already in full swing. There were plenty of people, non-humans, and strange creatures. There were about fifty different types on the table, but so far the struggle was over something I wasn't interested in. The first to haggle were the lots with the really high-quality items that the reputable buyers had come for. The prices were not outbid, even the goods were presented very briefly - the town is small, all their own, it is clear to all, who came for what. I, for example, did not target the precious weapons and shiny armor, and the baskets, which piled outright junk. For one thing, there isn't much money, and for another, where would I put a magic bow? Even if it is enchanted to be resistant to water spells? I would like something simpler.

I stepped aside and unzipped the cloak, took a seat on the bench against the wall, opened the bag, and pulled out one of the two packs. I didn't really want to take anything with me when I hiked through unreal, though the apothecary asserted that the bag protected the contents. Rotten food would give you diarrhea, but what would happen to magically transformed food? Grow horns? I don't want it.

But going without food, not knowing where I was going to end up, was even scarier. So a "city" loaf, two sausages, an apple, and tea are poured into a bottle of mineral water. Spartan conditions, but where to go.

While there was a sluggish trade for some unusual sword, I leafed through fresh updates. But they wouldn't let me eat in peace: "Excuse me, dear colleague, for interrupting the meal. How much are you selling the bottle for?"

Next to me sat a man of the most amiable appearance, smiling in the most pleasant way. He was dressed, by the way, in a richly embroidered camisole, with a merchant's guild sign on his lapel. It was a gold badge. How did he recognize me, my "clay" only showed in the app?

I took a sip and looked at the bottle questioningly. It was an ordinary plastic bottle that I'd peeled the label off of.

"I don't know... I haven't traded that yet. If you compare it to auction items, how good is it?"

He, continuing to smile pleasantly, estimated: "Two, maybe three batches from the middle."

All the goods were laid out in a line. The top ones were separately on the tables, so you could walk up and look at them. The middle ones were on racks. The ones that interested me were drawers and baskets.

"How about from the end?"

"Four baskets of junk."

"Deal. You haggle. But there's one thing about this bottle, it's not from this world, at first," he nodded, understanding. "And secondly, it has been to a place of wild power. Perhaps it has. I can't vouch for its durability, nor its safety."

The merchant threw back the hem of his caftan and took out from his small purse on his belt a case with a magnifying glass. He looked carefully at the bottle on the bench (the glass began to glow in the process), smiled, and then nodded.

"Your point is correct, but I am interested in this product."

I only now realized that the three adventurers, standing with their backs to us, were somehow very still. Are they shielding a protected client from the gaze of competitors?

We shook hands. He had a tenacious grip and a calloused paw. I thought I was going to have to wait, but one of the guards walked over to the auctioneer, they whispered briefly, and the steward asked loudly: "Are there any bidders for lots thirty-first through thirty-fifth at one and a half percent of the starting price? No? Sold to the honorable Arcevash."

The baskets were brought to us, I moved the bottle to the buyer, we shook hands again, and I began to move the heroic junk into the bag. The merchant watched without interest as I piled a whole heap of goods into one relatively small bag. When he was sure that the deal was done and stood up, he smiled with superiority: "Colleague", you should not only ask your customers about the prices of your products!"

I silently found the second bottle in my bag, looked at Arcevash, twisted the cork, and took a sip. The merchant smiled even more pleasantly and sat back down: "On the other hand, at your young age, you already have such a trading ability! You are on your way to the platinum rank, and soon I will be telling everyone that I saw you at the beginning of your brilliant journey. I'll check it out, okay?"

Luck, my luck is definitely developed. I wanted to eat in the yard so no one would disturb me - who would see my precious bottle? I calculated on one basket, but I got four.

While the guards were covering us with their backs, we agreed that a share of the sale of the second "flask of flexible glass" would be waiting for me in the guild cashier's office. I was pleased to see another three percent increase in level and noted with some surprise that my level in Delivery had also increased, I was now a "Messenger, 5 lv". I'll be twenty by retirement, no less.

Before I put the phone away, I glanced around the crowd of vendors. As expected, there were plenty of disembodied among the adventurers. Horns, hooves, wings, and tails, as well as some ghostly armor, ghosts hanging over the shoulder, and other wonders for every taste. One guy, in particular, seemed interesting, now bargaining for some kind of helmet: his "second" arms and legs were made of twisted mist tails, which made him look really weird in the scanner.

"Is something wrong?"

The merchant and his partner continued to smile pleasantly, apparently in anticipation of the miraculous appearance of the third bottle. I only shrugged and turned the screen toward him. His smile twisted, and he quickly hissed at one of the bodyguards, grabbed my arm, and pointed to the other. The bodyguard, a shoulder-length, green-skinned half-orc, looked into the scanner and grinned, and started making his way toward the "twisted" one.

The rest was a bit of a shock: without a word, the half-orc clapped the adventurer on the shoulder, grabbed him, turned him toward himself, and thrust his broad dagger right between the victim's collarbones. And then with a jerk, he broke the body of the "twisted" up to the waist.

There was no blood. Only the stench of something rotten, the body of the victim of the sudden attack fell to the floor...

And above it was left standing already in the flesh of what I thought was a virtual rendering.

"Demon! To arms!"

Arcevash moved quickly toward me, wrapping one arm around my shoulders and holding the other out in front of him, and a hemisphere of bluish fire covered us. Other shields flashed in the hall, and some cried out in terror and ran for the exit, some shouted incantations, and an ax and knives and a bench were thrown at the demon, but he dodged, jumping from side to side and waving his long arms in the process. One adventurer was unlucky and another swing went through his body. A piece of something translucent ended up in the demon's paw, and the victim collapsed without even a cry.

It was getting hot, literally, because the fire shield was enclosing us in a kind of oven. It might be safe, but it was uncomfortable. I pulled my bag up and snagged the strap, and I put my arm around my colleague, too, then poked my feet, pointed my finger toward the street in the open door, and stomped on the teleport spot.

Everyone's falling for me today, but Mira is somehow nicer.

"Excuse me, colleague."

"Marius."

"Very nice to meet you!"

We jumped up and looked in the direction of the guildhouse. The fight was heating up, the city guards were running past, some gray-bearded man in a mage's robe appeared in the teleport slam, and there was the clatter of hooves. Not a rider, but a centaur, in the truest sense of the word, rushing past with spears in each hand. I looked at the horse's croup and thought, automatically, that I should find out how centaur ladies wore bras. Only on human breasts or on the horse's body, too?

Yeah, I shouldn't have gone to the brothel.

"I don't think we can do anything to help them."

"I agree."

"Then, dear friend, let us each go about our business."

"Yeah, have a nice day."

He turned his head, trying to find me, and I just jabbed my finger under the feet, then to the side. No, let the heroes fight the demons, and the couriers have to deliver. I did my job, which was to give them a target. I also learned that not everything that's not embodied is worth looking at. Yeah, well, I'd been warned about that...

Buzz.

System approval raised to E-4

I wondered if it was the merchandise in my bag or a chance encounter with a demon that had caused it, and then I dashed for the exit. I'd had enough of miracles; I'd bought the goods, I'd had my fun, and now I was going home, to my cozy room. I'm not looking for magic flowers, I'm not selling anything, I'm going home! I'll stay home and watch soap operas for a day. Or even two days!

But by the twentieth jump, when the city walls were already out of sight, I calmed down a bit. Yeah, that was close. Who knows if the messenger's cloak would protect me from the demon's touch. But I got away in time, with a profit. It's okay, Marik, it's not great, but it's very...

Buzz.

I looked up at the sky. Maybe I should turn off my phone. I'll sleep in the woods, or I'll hop over to the inn and sleep there, and in the morning, when everything calms down...

Buzz.

Prepared to curse in advance, I checked my phone.

The event is available!

Reward - x2 on all system missions for five days!

I have a bad feeling about this.

* * *

bradford parkhurst · Jul 19, 2022

I am sorry but this story does not make any sense at all in it's current form it lackes the context nessisary to function as a story.

That said it could be much better with a little more work.

There was no opening dialog setting the seen, or outside information being provided that establishes who this character even is.

For goodness sake we don't even know what the main characters name is what he looks like, where he is located, or when this is happening. The fact that the character is male is inferred through the use of pronouns and the idea that his grandmother could get great grandchildren from a girl six years older than him.

If you intend to use a first person perspective to tell a story then we need the main character to provide the context nessisary to understand the events that are happening. Within the format of a story the only context that is conveyed is that context that in the text of the story.

The first question is where is the story taking place? In what world, continent, civilization, climate, or time? You have seemed toimplie both a city by the idea of using public transportation and the present through the use of covid restrictions in transportation but there is no other information regarding this placement in space or time.

I am still nor sure if this story takes place in a version of the real world, or game world, or if the main character has gone crazy and broken with realitThe second question I have is what does the main character even look like?
So far all I have been able to infer is that they considered them self to be fat. Are they short, tall, average hight, fat with muscle, husky, large or obese?

It is okay for the main character to avoid using names if we can visually identify them, but all that I know is that we have a supposedly fat male blob.

Their build out side of fat is unknown, hight unknown, hair color unknown, eye color unknown, skin color unknown, no distinguishing marks, In unknown clothing delivering packages for an unusual and unnamed company.

If We the audience does not even know what the main character even looks like how are we supposed to find humor in the situations that character finds themselves in?

Honestly this series of events would make more sense if the main character had cracked up and gone crazy, and we the audience are just listening to the insane drivel that is his internal monolog.

This seems to be a fanfic writers attempt at a original fiction. The assumption that the main character is both understood and known by the audience is one of the signs that an author is used to there being extra information available to his audience due to pre-existing source material that provides context for the actions in the script.

I believe that this story could be quite good if you were to go back and and in the context for the setting possible go into what the bet was in more detail, what the family dynamics are and who your main character is also what they look like.

Edit, typing on phone fixing for spelling and grammar.

RiP · Jul 20, 2022

bradford parkhurst said:
I am sorry but this story does not make any sense at all in it's current form it lackes the context nessisary to function as a story.

This is a translation of the original work. Perhaps some intonation nuances were lost in the translation. I'm sorry.

bradford parkhurst said:
but all that I know is that we have a supposedly fat male blob.

Well, it is. The author portrayed a typical snowflake zoomer who only knows online games and video streaming.

bradford parkhurst said:
The fact that the character is male is inferred through the use of pronouns

I'll try to be more attentive with pronouns.

RiP · Aug 19, 2022

Chapter 14

* * *

The system knows how to persuade.

It just turned off the display of the return path. The tab became inactive as if hinting at the consequences of failure. Out of sheer stubbornness, I tried to poke somewhere, yelled "abort!" in different voices, and behaved indecently. Then I sat down on a fallen tree and wondered.

No, on the one hand, I don't have to go anywhere. I'll stay here, settle in, get naturalized. I already have a status, and I'll go around the local towns and sell small things. And in three days, on the fourth, in strict accordance with the contract, I was warned that I will be disconnected from the system. Although I have a head and it even works, I will not disappear. But anyway...

I got up, sighed, and glanced at the description of the quest. I was supposed to walk through some strange places, and the recommendation was to button my cape and raise my hood. So I did. And I poked resolutely at the screen.

Warranty is on.

I didn't get any calmer, and I didn't feel any difference. Maybe, though, if I turned it off, I would know right away. But no, not this time.

Point the scanner at the nearest bushes and follow the indicated path.

Picked up the phone, and caught the bushes with the lens; the app, blinking, drew the trail. How did delivery guys walk in the days when phones were wired? Did they hold on to the wire? Or were there none at all? That inter-world couriers have only now appeared, I don't believe. It's more likely that they just had different names. The Abstineсу, he's a Warlock, so there could have been.

Something was tingling in my head, just like that, on the very edge. At first, I tried to catch the thought, then I pretended not to be interested in it at all, and when the fugitive froze, I thought it over sharply.

Damn it.

I am a "Messenger" of the fifth level.

Messenger of the damn Delivery System!

She is not human, she has no names, she has terms!

I am a messenger. That's my status, I chose it myself. I used to be a "courier" and lived peacefully, but when I changed it to something more resounding, everything started to turn around! Or did it? No, that's when I was given a system housing with a surprise, and in general, all hell began. And after all, I could have guessed something when I looked at my colleagues - the "sage", for example, sitting and sharing his wisdom. Instead of wandering around in the wilderness! Or Brute, he's a "slacker" in his class, isn't he? That is the reason to sit and do nothing - strict compliance with the title. It's not clear with "beginner succu," but here I may just not know something.

Thirteen steps along the ridge, drive right down the slope...

Yeah, it's right there, in that cleft between the dunes.

I looked around, saw myself in the middle of the desert, standing on a sand dune, shrugged, and began to count my steps - one, two, three...

Why does the System need Succubi? Sub - under, cubare - to lie down. If my Latin is correct... Cursed be classical education forever and ever, with its bloody Latin and Greek!

Now, what was I talking about?

Follow the dried-up stream to the fallen rocks.

It's a rough terrain here. The sun burns with such force that it almost drives me into the sand. Aha - did my colleagues know the nature of the names? No, I could be wrong, of course, but something tells me they did. Classic succubi are genderless, and Tomboy... she's either a girl or a boy. Who knows what she was before she came into the System? Or what.

Wait out a gust of dark wind.

I leaned against the boulder and immediately jumped away - it was hot, the bastard! It even burned through my sleeve! And was it just me, or did that whirlwind really slow down as it flew by?

Move on, trying to look up at the sky.

With a doubtful look at the trail, though flat but still with stones, I moved.

So, I'm a "messenger" and I'm being sent. What do I know about messengers? Well, the first textbook is "angelos," which is exactly what it means. Somehow I'm wrong, though; they're supposed to be sexless, hairy anorexics with wings if you believe the artists. Or incomprehensible crap of ineffable appearance, if the primary sources are to be believed. May be invisible. Can be transported instantly. Can see things that aren't there. Capable of destroying cities and peoples... It's a work in progress, but I don't think it's that complicated. After another year of work, I'll save up points and buy a flaming sword at the Auction.

There are also angels who have fallen...

However, I may not be Abrahamic kind, right?

Okay, to hell with the mystique.

Buzz.

Try to think less about evil forces

Okay, fuck the mystique.

A messenger is also an ambassador. A power too great to interfere. Since there are so few of us, the work is not for everyone, and our work is dangerous. What does that mean? That we can demand higher wages!

I listened, but the phone pretended not to overhear my thoughts. O-ok.

Destination reached.

I wiped the sweat from my face and wished I could pull my shirt off and wiggle it around to cool out my belly, so I turned my head. Apparently, the "point" was those rocks over there? They are very different from the rest, standing like... like... Menhirs? Stonehenge, only ten times bigger, half the stones fell and some kind of grove growing inside. It's the kind of African vegetation where there are a lot of branches and not much greenery.

And among the menhirs people...

Shaking a drop of sweat off my nose and wiping my face once again, I regretted the two half-liters I had sold at such a bad time, and moved forward over the rocky ground.

There was a movement among the rocks, some shouting and waving of hands. I looked around: the surface was as flat as a table, with stones, sparse stiff bushes up to my waist, and gray-brown earth. No grass, no life, only a haze of hot air rising. Apparently, it was from this haze that I emerged.

"Over here! Come to us!"

Just to be sure, I pointed scanner and looked closely. No, they were ordinary people, and they were normal. I was looking at the scanner for a dozen or twenty people, but there were half a hundred of them, and they all looked just right. Their heads are wrapped in rags, they keep in the shade, and the lady over there has an umbrella made of a jacket on a stick.

Well, where do we start?

I stopped before I reached the rocks, about ten paces away.

Even in that office, where I brought twenty free pizzas, I was not greeted as cheerfully.

"Come here, by the stones! It's not safe there!"

I looked around at the man in his forties in a suit, who was screaming and moved toward him.

"Hello!"

It is mandatory, the instructions say that any communication begins with a greeting to the client.

"Who ordered delivery?"

People even froze somehow. I understand - they are clearly not here of their own free will, fell into an inter-world hole. We may be somewhere in inland Yemen or around the Sahara, but something tells me it's unreal. And it's all the more unrealistic looking for the average courier here. I would have suspected something amiss.

"I did!"

An adult of my age jumped up to the older one: "I ordered it! Are you from D.S.? Delivery service?"

"System, not service."

"That's right! That's me!"

For some reason, I didn't want to go into the circle of stones. But they certainly didn't want to get out of it.

"So, what's the stuff, where do I take it?"

The older one suddenly coughed: "Young man, can you tell us where we are?"

People were getting closer to us, crowding the aisles, looking at me eagerly, whispering. So, at a glance, there were about a hundred people. And completely different - men, women, and children of different ages. Just that there were no older people, but everyone was different.

"By the way, could you do one thing?"

He spoke with some uncertainty, though it was clear from his voice and figure that this one was used to leading. He reminded me of one of my father's pals.

"Which one?"

"Come in here, behind the rocks."

That sounded pretty ominous. I was suddenly reminded of desert spirits luring caravans.

"I don't feel like it. Would you tell me why first?"

The people whispered and the leader calmly explained: "We can't go out for them."

Indeed, the leader. People looked over at him, but no one interfered, no one interrupted, although the "client" over there was almost jumping with impatience.

"You can't do it at all?"

He grinned wryly: "If we have to, we can. But we know for sure that it's not safe on the other side. Suddenly you're standing there quietly, like this," he emphasized in his voice. "Doesn't affect you."

So they think I'm the demon, and I suspect them. What to do? Considering I was sent here by the System... although I've been sent to the inadequates before. This one can pretend, too.

Well, seven woes, one answer. Two, to be exact.

Poke, poke...

The exit point is behind me, and the entry point is a meter from the main one. They last about a minute, enough just in case..

Step, step, step-another drop of sweat hung on my nose. People looked at me tensely, and I looked at them. The usual ones, no fangs, no claws... that would calm me down. No titles, nothing. Step, step...

"Well, as you can see."

I stopped exactly above the point of entry and pretended it was nothing. I even stroked the hot, wind-scraped stone, showing my materiality. The leader suddenly took a deep breath:

"Welcome... how do I address you?"

"Marius."

"Welcome, Marius!"

People came to me, and they didn't know why. Some tried to pat me on the shoulder, and some asked obvious nonsense as if I could know how "Lydochka" was and why she was not here. Finally, the leader somehow very quickly quieted everyone, the people crowded among the stones dispersed, giving me space, and I was finally able to talk to the client.

"Here, look - a "nourishing dew"! The guy shook a bottle from the pills. "We're sitting here without any food, so we can only eat bark or rocks. We try to drink dew in the morning, but it'll satisfy our hunger till the next sunrise. Collected, and then suddenly the phone worked and offered to download this very "DS". Nothing else works, but the delivery works! Can you believe it?!"

I looked at the leader, who put his hand on my client's shoulder and began to tell me in order: "Five days ago we woke up here in the grove. A hundred and forty people, then. Maybe a little more, we didn't start counting right away. The last thing I remember was getting in the car to go to work."

"And I was on my way to Roman's for a party!"

Some began to express their options, but the Leader reassured them: "Yes, yes, everyone has their own memories. Totally ordinary. What's unusual is that I remember myself twenty years older than I look now."

His voice was muffled, but distinctly commanding. And even now he smelled a little like a man's perfume, though his clothes were obviously frayed.

"Then a moment of darkness and here we are, some under a tree, some by a menhir."

I just nodded silently. There was nothing to say for now.

"We started exploring the place and found out an unpleasant peculiarity - apart from trees, inedible leaves and needles and stones, there is nothing here. We tried digging, but the soil was dry up to three meters."

How did they dig - with their hands? The people listened with silent attention, without interrupting.

"We walked beyond the line of menhirs, but it was deserted, no shelter. In the morning Alexei discovered that before dawn the patterned stones were covered with dew."

"I licked it, man!"

"Someone was trying to get behind the rocks; how many made it before we noticed what was happening is unknown. But we definitely lost a dozen or two."

"I have a solar charger, but it doesn't work from this sun. Everything is not at all what it seems!"

The leader nodded again, confirming: "And then three hours ago, Alexei decided for some reason to take a picture of the few drops he was able to collect."

"And then, suddenly, the Internet will start working!"

"After installing the application we were able to put these drops up for auction. The lot was immediately purchased, after which we were asked to wait for a messenger..."

I interrupted: "Courier or messenger? This is important!"

Leader and Alexei looked at each other, and the younger one thoughtfully stretched out: "Kind of like a messenger? I was surprised, I thought it was an auto-translation."

It didn't get any clearer.

"How much were you offered for the goods?"

"Well, we agreed right away, we got three coins for the vial. I thought that there would be a chat with the buyer, and we could signal our own, but no."

I pulled out my phone and looked at the price of the "quest". Three coins were six hundred points, and I was promised four thousand for delivery alone, plus double for five days. If I grind "E" rank quest, I'll make an extra fifty thousand in that time. If the courier's share is almost two orders of magnitude more than what the collectors were paid, how much will the buyer get? And how much will the System rake in?

"And where are the goods?"

The goods were presented at once. An oblong plastic bottle of pills, in which there was splashing on the bottom.

The water of Life (32 ml).

Saturation 22/1

Without thinking, I opened the auction and paid the minimum session.

"Water of Life" was a fairly popular ingredient, but the price depended on saturation. The most expensive lots showed "thirty to one" saturation, here it is still less. Not epic, but a top-of-the-line blue. Bought at three coins.

Someone is sniping the auction, I bet.

"So why don't you go beyond the menhirs?"

The people murmured: "Beasts. There are big ones, they have paws like that, made of smoke or something."

"And they eat people."

"One and a half meters in the withers, skinny and unearthly. They're fuming."

"And they're afraid to go over the rocks!"

"There are also small, knee-deep ones."

"Local jackals, also made of smoke! If you kill them, they melt!"

Leader, after letting everyone talk, added: "Then the big ones somehow turned into the ones they ate. We didn't realize right away, they were trying to lure us out where we couldn't see anymore."

"It was like something pushed me - don't go! And this fool came along. The beast was showing her the water, you know! And then, bang, her guts just spilled out on the ground."

"But the big ones do not go into the circle of stones. They don't even dare to come close, although when they caught up with me they almost broke in."

"We threw rocks, but they are the size of tigers! The little ones are cowardly, but we have to take turns sleeping at night."

Finally, everyone fell silent. The silence didn't last long, and some woman half-demanding, half-pitying asked: "Will you help us?"

The leader raised his hand, restraining everyone, and asked: "Do you have a way out of here?"

"Get you out?"

He nodded silently. I can get through, the system will pave the way. But will others be able to walk it? And a hundred more people, without courier's capes, without weapons, without artifacts, in the desert?

"Let you pass the letters with me. I'll be able to deliver them for sure..."

"You'll get us out of here!"

Some man jumped up to me and tried to grab my hood.

"Have a good day!"

Poke, poke, step.

I listened as people murmured, someone cursed. From fifty paces I could hear, though not really see. Shit, the goods were left at the vendor's place. I have to get it, or I'll stay here.

"Hey!"

They finally spotted me, and the people took their places in the openings between the menhirs again, but no one was waving their hands. I sighed, and walked back, stopping ten paces away.

"I have a delivery order, so I'm leaving now anyway. The System will fine me if I stay."

Leader turned to his men and began to explain something convincingly. He even shouted at someone. Finally, the noise died down.

"Okay, how do we proceed?"

"Collect more dew, do not spend system points. Create an order on the bulletin board for "Messenger Marius", that's me. There will be an order - they will pave the way for me to you. I'll come, we'll earn some coins, and then we'll see. Why don't you prepare the letters now..."

Buzz.

Dear Messenger!

System reminds you that deliveries must be made on time.

Showing the phone, I explained: "The bosses are nervous. I'm leaving. Letters next time... Oh, and here's another thing - you'll be safer that way."

With a sigh, I walked over to the rocks, took the bag off my back, and began to pull the "weapons" out of it. Apparently, these had been collected in the lairs of the monsters and belonged to those who had failed the monster. My idea, i.e., trading in heroic antiques at the Comicon, the junk was appropriate, but Alex trying to put it on standing among the rocks didn't look like an adventurer - more like something out of a post-ap B movie barbarian. Considering that the armor had already failed once to withstand a mortal blow, he shouldn't have counted on it much. I did, however, have spearheads, knives, some kind of weights on chains, and bits of armor. If the police had caught me with it, there might have been trouble. But they would be good for defending themselves against jackals.

"Have a..."

"Wait!"

Leader stepped beyond the line of stones, pulling his business card from his pocket as he went.

"Here, take it."

I just put it in my pocket. The phone buzzed again, and I felt worse by the minute. As a matter of fact, even though Leader was squinting in the sun, he wasn't sweating much.

"Have a... Goodbye. Collect the dew, create an order, I'll use it to find you!"

"We'll be waiting!"

Make your way to the black rock, staying to the left.

Poke, poke, step... I don't have time to stomp my feet.

The way back merged into some kind of stuffy, crushing nightmare. I worked off every point of that reward, watered it down with sweat, and cursed the System at least twenty times. Twice I was led to the shore of some lake or sea, but the waters were so unnatural in the color that the thought of "refreshing myself" never even occurred to me. I walked on the sand, on the rocks, on the sand again. I climbed over the dried corpses of trees, walked between the huge skulls of unknown horned creatures, oriented myself on strange objects, passed through mirages. Finally, a familiar, and more importantly, moist scent wafted into my face.

After standing there, breathing in the almost wet air with pleasure, I looked around.

"Hey, you, fatty! Where are you going, eh?! Get out of there, ara-ara!"

What followed was an untranslatable play on words. I smiled at the mustachioed road worker and stepped off the not scaldingly hot, but only pleasantly warm strip of freshly rolled asphalt and looked around.

The phone showed that I was ten minutes away from the base. The first thing I did, of course, was not to hand over the goods, but to do something else entirely:

"Mineral water! Without gas! Two... three bottles! Which one is healthier in the heat?"

Would I ever go out on another shift without a water supply? Never!

I always knew that I was a very strong-willed man. I didn't suck up the water in one gulp. I took it in tiny, unbearably small sips. And when I couldn't stand it, I just poured another bottle over my head, blissfully feeling the trickles roll down my cheeks, my back, and my chest. I just looked at the giggling girls who were filming it with a smile and turned away. What did they know about happiness?

I sat down on the bench and threw open my cloak and sighed contentedly. The sky above me was so fresh!

The storekeeper in the seventh hall took the box and carried it somewhere into the mysterious depths. I looked around the empty room and sat down, reaching for the water again. It was already bubbling inside, and I should be careful, but I only take one, small sip!

Of course, I was immediately ruined for all the fun.

Task completed! You get a bonus - double the reward for system tasks for 120 hours!

That "120 hours!" didn't sound right. I work during the day, don't talk to me about 24 hours shifts!

You get a reward.

A semblance of a game drum flashed.

Not new assignments! Not new assignments!

Discounts in the System bonus store!

I exhaled. It wasn't as good as it could have been, but it wasn't as bad. If the System gives me a discount, it means I should arm myself or protect myself urgently. I would earn points, the rates would double.

I was so wasted in the chair that I couldn't bring myself to get up. My eyes flashed back to memories, then to living whirlwinds, then to the eyes of all those men in the menhir ring. Would I have walked away from them so easily if not for the guarantee? Would I have made it home if I had lingered there? The System knows.

Already in the room, after half an hour of showering, holding aromatic tea of the brand "two bags per mug," I tried to remember what I had forgotten to do? My legs, and in general everything ached so that my greed, which had yelled about the fact that I could do a couple of simple quests, was embarrassingly silent. That's good, or strangle the hell out of it. I'll buy on auction incarnate and strangle. Only what did I forget?

I couldn't help but look around in my bag and cape, rummaging through my pockets. I stared at the business card. Yeah, that's right.

I didn't call, but first I looked up the name on the Internet.

We regret to inform you... a talented scientist and organizer have passed away... the staff mourns...

Leader, professor, and so on. In the photo in the note, Leader was indeed much older, but it was definitely him. And the news was exactly five days ago.

I turned my phone off, first I put it under my pillow, then I took it out again, and opened the app. Now the phone was on the table, and the business card was on top.

The score counter fluttered, and added a point, half a minute later, two more, then one more. In ten minutes, the score was three times more than that of the umrun who had given the tips.

Of course, this one has fallen into a deep unreal.

So what am I supposed to do about it now?

* * *

RiP · Oct 24, 2022

Chapter 15

* * *

The morning did not start out well.

My grandmother called me.

I generally love her, she's nice, but sometimes she has a sudden attack of preoccupation. And that's when anyone who hasn't had time to turn off the phone is in trouble.

Come to my place, aren't you hungry? What, are you having a bet with your father? What nonsense, we just won't tell him! Who's going to know? You overcomplicating everything. And call your mother, why don't you call her? What are you eating? Fast food crap?! Come here right now! You don't want it? I'll send you some money to buy some real food. Oh, stop this childishness, be a reasonable person! Come here, I don't want to hear anything!

And that's it for half an hour. Loving and completely disregarding my objections and various arguments. At the same time, my grandmother kept trying to persuade me to go back to study on various pretexts. Like, education is always useful, because "a good man is not a profession". That is, she does not even know what streamers do!

Finally, I resolutely lied that the shift starts and people are waiting for me - at this point, she curtailed her monologue and wished me good luck after a brief five-minute goodbye passed out. That was it, I could breathe, now she would not call for a week.

After walking through the empty corridors of the dormitory, I stepped outside, looked at the sun, at the green leaves, and decided that I wasn't going to exert myself today. No deep unreal, no miracles, no adventures. Boring С orders, minimal risk: the bonus is ticking, so hit the road! The phone, once again eavesdropping on my thoughts, gave out the most appropriate song:

"East bound and down, loaded up and truckin', we're gonna do what they say can't be done..."

That's right: "I've got a long way to go and a short time to get there". By the way, aren't there too many references in popular culture to something too similar to the System? What is primary, our idea of the unreal, or the unreal itself? It's all complicated, for a mere pretty boy.

I entered the Seventh Hall listening to the song for the twentieth time. It felt so good, I was walking along to it. Sage, glancing over the top of another newspaper, sneeringly stretched out: "Let's welcome our new celebrity!"

Brute, who was busy with his phone, and Goggles-kid, who was packing something in his bag, laughed cheerfully.

"Hey, hey, where did I become famous?"

It turned out that I had, unexpectedly, become a meme. Yesterday's relaxation on the bench, when I was pouring water on myself and rejoicing that I had escaped the heat, resulted in half a hundred pictures. My face was so happy, it looked like Hotei's Buddha.

After saving particularly good pictures for memory, I just shrugged my shoulders. Before I would have jumped to the ceiling, would have told everyone, would have made my way to the TV, so everyone would know that it was me, Marius Yulievich, so cool!

I'd rather do something useful now.

The storekeeper, having received both of my artifacts, took them away to charge them, while I decided to look at the proposed options for improvements. They give me a discount, right. I should at least take a look. Of course, I wouldn't buy anything from my employer, but it was worth it to plan some upgrades for my character.

So far the only slots I use are rings, cloak, and backpack. There is a slot for earrings, a slot for necklaces - one, but with the possibility to expand with amulets. Two slots for bracelets, one for a belt, a slot for gloves, and a slot for shoes. Clothing did not count as equipment.

A total of seven slots, what should we close first? I need a passive shield, something as a "last chance" or a save from a surprise attack. My most powerful artifact is the ring, all tactics are based on teleport. Not very good and not always suitable, but it's very simple and therefore effective.

On the other hand, running is good for rabbits, and I have a different totem animal. And I need at least something to defend myself actively. So that the villains will understand - no one dares to offend a hippo! And since active protection is hard to put on an earring or bracelet, I should look for gloves... Or shoes.

The bonus store did not offer much in the way of choice. At my level, the more or less useful one was the "premonition earring" with a range of ten seconds, which gave me a direction to a supposed threat. It was a pity that, judging by the description, it acted directly, through my brain, and that didn't sound safe. The bracelets with shields of various kinds, activated by command, were also unimpressive. Each was strictly against a certain type of attack, which meant that they could be changed by the courier as circumstances dictated. Come to think of it, it was not for nothing that my unknown colleague had an entire ring case for two dozen slots. And he left only one in it... why, by the way? The most unnecessary one? Or did he sell off the rest, stashing the most valuable? He had left encrypted records, too, so I'd better check them.

Tick the checkbox - to purchase an "identification scroll".

That's what I love about the chosen setting, is that it has the tools to solve all kinds of problems. Sometimes they are hard to get, but they are there by definition, which means the System can lead to them.

So the purchase of a single shield makes sense if I choose a route, find out all the dangers on it, and pick up the equipment for them. But on the universal set, I still do not have points. No coins, no crystals... And someone has them! Who are these ugly people who obviously got rich dishonestly! How would I myself so ...

I closed the shopping tab almost with annoyance. Everything is either expensive or unnecessary, or purely for work. Worth thinking about sharpening the bag to increase the volume, also making sense of emblems on the cape, like reducing fatigue, although they are disposable. The bonus store is all for those who want to roam the city and take orders, but nothing useful for the inter-world merchant. Why would I want "I'm fun today!" sticker on my bag or pictures of long-forgotten memes?

However, the System immediately mitigated my disappointment: the discount also applied to the auction sessions. Which I took advantage of.

Delivery System Worker Outfit used and discounted

I scrolled through the list, noticing only that some positions had been open for years. The prices were no consolation, either: if you make an honest income, that's how much running you would have to do! One item made me think, but it was not even a used item, but part of the work set, converted for specific needs clearly homemade. And still, fifteen thousand was a lot of money. Where to get it first? Though it's a promising piece of equipment... albeit situational.

"Take it."

As I put the rings on, I remembered that I sort of still had a gift. The storekeeper, after swiping the reader, returned almost immediately with a small box. So what are you, "skill system dummy"? Open it up...

A balloon? A balloon, except the material, is kind of silky and it has a pretty massive ring where it's inflated. With runes. Apparently, the mannequin is an inflatable. The scanner, worth hovering over the "balloon," again gave me a link to install the Skills System app, which I again dismissed. First, it is worthwhile to understand what it is at all and why.

The goggle-eyed kid said goodbye and left, and I, under Sage's usual muttering that young people do not listen to or understand anything, first went to the bulletin board, and then to the auction. It took me half a thousand points to formulate a request so that the names of the lots at least understand what I should ask. It turned out that I need something like a guide for dummies with personal notes.

I know such guides, I wrote them myself. And then two years bought a penny recipe from an NPC resold at auction for many times the price, because according to my guide it can not work without it. Three or four grand a day lazy guys bought at auction, so it's not all so unambiguous.

Looking for a brief and detailed manual on the activation, operation, and features of the Skills System dummy, compiled by someone who has used it for at least a month

Send?

Yes/no

Goodbye, two hundred points. But everything on the board was too generic, and almost all the links led to paid resources, so I'd rather splurge.

Wait. Wait. Wait.

Buzz.

The downloaded file had the checkbox "Verified by the System" and was worth three coins. After quickly reading the description, I glanced at the "Confirm Purchase" button and decided to cheat a little. No, I'll pay, of course! But first I have to be sure... So, what's in the app? Is it even like that? I mean, is that how it works?

I turned to the noisy coughing Sage and then looked at the screen. No, everything was there, and everything was clear. The only thing is that if you take the text out of sight, it is immediately forgotten. Maybe there's a way around it, like re-shooting the screen or something...

Accept.

Order paid!

But it would be easier this way. Besides, what if there is active protection built-in? What if it blows up.

Putting the phone down, I wondered once again if I needed to get involved in another System. I was already thinking that Delivery was enough to distort the world, but what if these unknown Skills were to break it completely?

On the other hand, who was just whining about the lack of an arsenal? If the skills are given a chance, do I really want to pass? At least look at it, try it out. Especially since it's unlikely anything can get past Delivery. The same one that watches even what I say on the shifts. And if a letter from S. S. ever came in the mail, I'm sure it will somehow help me in my messenger's work.

After convincing myself, I activated the first quest of the day and headed for the bus stop, reading the guide I had purchased.

Remember, the mannequin is your second "self", you need to consider and always realize that you can pump only what you can pump. On the other hand, it's not you, so you can put it in conditions where you yourself would not risk.

That's a fancy way of putting it.

If you are reading this, it means you have a com. I recommend that you install the SS app and study it carefully.

Comm...unicator? From what setting did he write?

Activation is simple: fill the form with your breath, and at every moment think about the essence of what is happening.

Inflate the balloon and be wowed.

Afterward, set him the necessary conditions. Don't worry, the dummy is intelligent enough to develop the skill.

That's what's frightening.

In general, the guide described the creation of a character in an uncomplicated slasher, I even hesitated about what was supposed to happen. In addition, the man was clearly not from our world, or rather not from our time. So could describe the game man, never sat down for a computer, but a day stood behind the player and now is trying hard to explain everything, as far as I understand what is happening. From the whole guide, I realized only one thing - to inflate the "balloon" should think about what should happen.

It's a pity it doesn't say exactly what it is.

That's how you can screw up a character creation!

The quest matched the level of difficulty, another silent and face-hiding customer took the package and quickly locked the door. Okay, what other problems do I have? Umruns. More than a hundred Umruns, somewhere in hell, who managed to get through to the System.

Or more than a hundred people caught in the middle of nowhere, asking for help?

I know how to get to them, they will form orders and I can even make money on it. I'll be able to earn good money, one vial will be like a month of running on quests. Why take them out of there, let them collect dew, and I'll trade it for useful junk. They're dead anyway, aren't they?

I sighed and decided to tone down my cynicism. I was not living in the evil twentieth century, but in the normal twenty-first, and why not help people... yes, people. Whoever they are. Another thing is, how do you help? You have to make sure it's worth doing before you do good. Hmm, that didn't sound right. But throwing yourself into doing crap thinking you're saving the day? Fly, fish! A bird just drowned.

There's no question how to get them out - there's a room full of goat-footers over there. Since there are many of them, it is possible and cost-effective to transport large groups of sapients. But where to? Back here? They don't realize they're dead. So we have to take them to another world.

To a different setting, to be more precise.

Find a job for a hundred people, a house, prospects - and such that they would agree to it. Or do we have some sort of witness protection program... of other worlds? I'll think about it tomorrow.

And as if hearing my indignation, things suddenly got better. The transport came as soon as I approached the bus stop, no one was pushing me, and as soon as my legs got tired, a seat was made available. The day passed under the sign of relaxation, after yesterday's hot walk I tried to choose places in a draught, pulled the occasional cold water, listened to music, updated the page with memes about myself from time to time, and when I became ashamed of my unproductive laziness, I fiddled with the settings onlifance, where I planned to put "Mira the Catgirl Cosplay".

The C-rank orders were coming in one after another, I didn't even think there was that much mystique in the city. I'm not so sure about that dog, though. Was it really starting to rot, or was it just the hairless one in the garbage? I was a little worried, though, and she took the bag with the order, said thank you, and tipped me a little.

Tired but satisfied, I returned to my dorm.

And yet, no matter how accustomed I was to the miracles of the unreal world going on around me, I was holding the "ball" of the mannequin in my hands for a long time. I made tea for the second time, washed and did the laundry, and even read the news of international politics... but for some reason, the problem did not think to resolve itself.

By myself, all by myself.

Resolutely exhaling, I cleared my mind... from the panicked cries... I put the ring to my lips, taking a breath.

Coughing, I exhaled and put the balloon away. What do I want to get out of it? It says in the guide that a dummy needs to be shown a skill, and then it starts practicing it on its own, and then it can be transferred to itself or sold. He is not allowed to become smarter or stronger, but he can develop a small skill into something bigger. He is also "like a servant, but not subject to the vices of lesser men".

Why am I so tempted to do this? I wasn't going to get into another system, was I? Or am I so valuable that I've been forced into it? The warranty is on, I forgot to click, so I'm still a unit of Delivery, not an independent person. Is this me being shared fraternally?

But on the other hand, some vague perspectives emerge, and it even seems right. Since I'm a minor character, I should be put in these situations, right? And I can handle them. After all, to help the hero at the right moment, I should be able to do at least something.

Calmly I brought the ring to my lips again with determination. Inhale...

At first, everything was going quite normally. I thought about the essence, but the balloon was just inflating and nothing else was happening. Only when I thought I should rest and tried to pull the ring away from my lips did THIS start.

The damn dummy just refused to disconnect! What's more, I suddenly felt the air come out of me all by itself. It wasn't me inflating the balloon, it was the balloon inflating by it!

If it wasn't for the warranty... Or was it me who was so hardened in adversity?

It doesn't matter - I just got caught up in the idea that I need to think about what I want to get. I need a skill dummy! He has to be durable, successful, like me, promising...

I couldn't breathe in, my vision began to darken.

... It will help me like I help my parents. He will be something I want to have. He'll be... be... like me.

Even when this sucking flow stopped, I couldn't breathe. It was as if I'd forgotten how to do it. Or that knowledge had been taken away from me, leaving only the pain in my chest. Somehow it wasn't in my lungs, but somewhere deeper.

"Boss?"

I coughed and finally let out an intermittent sigh, and through the dark flickers in front of my eyes, I was able to see a large dark figure looming over me.

Fear not, for the wise System shields his thoughts from betrayal.

The whirlwind of thoughts in my head, still not quite out of the asphyxiation, suddenly gave out one, quite specific - that the Skill System works with the unembodied unreal directly? They have original "dummies". I was stupid enough to create just this. I could have at least ordered Superman or Superwoman to conquer the world afterward. On the other hand, if I'd done something stupid like that, I would have been the one pumping skills for him, not the other way around.

I looked at the figure standing across from me with a patient expression, coughed, and greeted:

"Hi... Junior."

He was three years younger than me, about the same age as Glasses-kid. What else would I call him?

The dummy smiled rubbery-white in my face, scratched the "ring" imbedded in the forehead, and happily responded:

"Hey, boss! What do I have to do?"

* * *

Epitome of Eccentricity · Oct 24, 2022

Am I high or does the majority of the first chapter just not make much sense?

RiP · Jun 10, 2023

Chapter 16

* * *

I didn't know that I snore.

Or snored when I was young, about three years ago.

Maybe it was a defective dummy?

Delivery has the lowest earnings, apparently because it is the furthest from unreal. SD is a service that transfers resources to the rest of the structures. On the other hand, it is the safest of the Systems. Currency is the system's point. One way or another is integrated into all the other S. and, by virtue of its features, has connections with most trade associations. The main requirement is the plasticity of perception, good luck.

The notebook I found turned out to be something like an outline of a future System Guide. The first page contained advice most reminiscent of that given by the staff Sage of the Seventh Hall. The second began with a description of the Systems.

At first glance, the Skills seem to be the safest, in addition, they have no problems at all, even if the prices at the initial levels there are quite low, but when you see the work of an experienced creator, you understand a lot. For example the slyness of the name of their System. Provide everyone with the necessary tools, the closest to the unreal, and therefore know how to look for sources. Currency is a coin (it's at the same time a tool). The smallest System, due to the rarity of talent. The most common representatives are some of the magical races, tied to creation: dwarves and humans. Requirement - the ability to create.

Wait, people are a magical race? Who wrote this notebook? Where did he get his information?

Development (clarify, supplement). Probably the "body" of the whole structure? The strangest of all, is that the rules are created by the players themselves. An experienced player is a thoroughly cuckoo-headed demigod, requiring caution in communication. The weak point is their places of power, you can negotiate there. Currency - nominally crystals, but in fact all kinds of saturation. Requirement - gravitation to structures, hierarchy.

Junior, asleep on the floor, sighed and scratched noisily. I stared at him, but I didn't follow up. Sleeping next to someone like that was a little creepy... but what else could I do? So I started translating. I didn't know if it would come out and eat me.

Hunters are the nastiest of the Systems, a fate in some ways worse than death. But it is also the most undemanding. The Hunt takes everyone in, creating amazing monsters that can hunt demons and gods. On the other hand, it is the most honest of the Systems, with not a single word of deceit. It is not worth contacting, it is better to roll up the order when you meet it on the trail. Ensures the safety of the aggregate S. Currency, for obvious reasons, has no - what they find, then theirs.

Hmm, I didn't know that the order could somehow be "rolled up". Too bad it's not clear how to identify these very hunters. The writer obviously has something personal to them.

Translation and transcription session - 500 points.

Pay for it?

Yes/no

I looked wistfully at the selection and clicked "no". The next five spreads of the notebook were three-quarters blank, and the lines that were there were almost certainly something to be added later. That's why I decided the whole notebook was a blueprint for the guide.

Closer to the middle of the sheets are filled out entirely, in some places, even across in the margins completed, but without knowing what should be there, it will be a lottery. And points are scarce now, I need to save. I'm looking for the pages with the most scuff marks, the ones with the most additions. But that's in the morning. Maybe not even today.

I looked at Marius Junior again. The dummy was lying there like a normal person, or was he?

When I took out the warranty for the first time - it seemed like a year ago, but it wasn't that long ago! - then I was overwhelmed. This time the shock of realization was already familiar, and so I could not burn it off on adrenaline.

I had a little supper when I came to my senses. And noticing Junior's interested gaze, I fed him, too. The mannequin behaved almost like an animal: he reacted to the food, then quieted down. Now he lay down and sniffed, as I would lie in his place, that is, covered with the cloak of the deliveryman and with a hand under his head. I was told to lie down and sleep, so I did. But before I did so, I decided to cover myself with another cloak.

As long as miracles happen to someone else it can be tolerated and even laughed at, but when they start to divide you in two at their discretion...

What to do now? Even after reading the guide, it's hard to believe that everything...

"Boss?"

I jumped up, Junior staring dumbly and calmly, standing by the bed. It was morning, the birds were chirping outside the window. I didn't notice how I fell asleep. But the fact that he was awake was a plus. The fact that I woke up in one piece was a double plus.

I rubbed my eyes, pushed Junior off the bed, got dressed, and went to the bathroom. I didn't meet anyone on the way, as usual, though I could hear noises outside the dorm doors, and there was the clinking of dishes on the stairs. Who the hell knows, maybe it's the way it works here, so the delivery guys never bump into each other.

"Hungry?"

"Ugu."

"Do you want a sandwich?"

"Ugu."

He acted like a human being, though he was different in some ways. He finished and stared out the window with patient boredom. Was he stupid, or did I give him such a character? I can't remember exactly where the Golem of Prague had the paper with the coveted name on it. But my Junior (I can't call this moron a mannequin) wears it on his forehead. To be exact, just above the hairline. If you don't look closely, it's just a bump, but if you look closely, it's a poncey implant. Who knows how many weirdos are around? This one has a ring embedded under his scalp.

In comparison with the disembodied body parts, it is practically a model of normality. Even though it is inflatable.

"Do you know what you're going to do?"

"Whatever you say, Boss."

Now he was looking at me just as stupidly and calmly. Okay: "What do couriers do, you know?"

"They walk and deliver."

You'll walk around and deliver. You don't get into any unreal things, you do what I would do and how I would do it. You just carry orders from morning till night. No orders - you sit and wait. In the evening you come back here.

"Yes, Boss."

The cheeked sleepy face showed no emotion, he just sits there and listens.

"You record everything you do. How do you do that?"

"I'll take a picture, Boss."

He answered at once, without thinking. That is, he has a pool of knowledge and intelligence. I don't have to teach him how to walk.

"Now we're going to Delivery, I'm going to pick up the daily quest, and we're going to buy you a phone. Why, do you understand?"

"To receive orders, Boss."

At least it was "sucked" out of me in clothes. The cloak and bag are from my predecessor, I have money for the phone.

"How do you behave with everyone?"

"As you say, Boss."

"Polite. You're a courier, you're happy with life, and you try to fulfill orders quickly, but not to your own detriment. You take a slot so that you don't get tired out. You try to make money by avoiding problems."

"Got it, Boss."

We took turns going outside, him first, me second. I checked him with the scanner, and Junior was identified as "Marius Delivery Courier, 1 lv," which was suspicious, though acceptable. He put on the mask without my prompting, slipped the money into the metro ticket office without reminding me, and the only thing that distinguished him from me was the sleepy, indifferent expression in his eyes. If I did not know who it was, could take him for a doppelganger. Although he casts a shadow, is reflected in the mirror, and is generally a normal person, just not quite awake in the morning, like every other person in the subway.

I hope he doesn't get caught by the police and my dad doesn't come running to get him out.

He got the simplest phone, but the app worked. On mine, at the same time, the "dummy" tab became active in the Delivery, showing his "running a job" status.

Junior looked at his phone almost immediately, jabbed his finger, and headed confidently toward the bus stop. I stood there for a while, trying to figure out what to do in such cases, and then I waved and headed for the seventh hall.

"Hello, folks."

Sage, Brute, and Glasses-kid responded in unison, and I plunged under the airflow from the air conditioner and once again checked the status of the "dummy".

The Skills System app was suspiciously similar to the one in the Delivery System. Mainly because almost all the tabs were activated for points. That is, for coins, but converted automatically. There is an auction, but it is called a "marketplace" and the functionality is slightly different. Instead of a delivery mascot - a table of character skills, that is, no cartoons.

But I was more interested in the "skills" tab.

"Active", "Working", "Adding a skill" and "Improving a skill".

The first are the ones I'm using right now. The second one is still empty, it's probably going to be what I'm grinding with Junior. Adding and Improving is also without a single line, it's not even clear what should be there.

I wonder what the mannequin will have pumped up by tonight, other than his tired feet?

How about turning off the warranty and screaming in terror for a while? Well, there's still be a time for that.

I sat there, looking at my phone, tracking the position of the "dummy" on the map. I couldn't stand it, got into the settings, and changed his name to "Junior", which made me feel more relaxed. Got there, calling the client. The mail blinks, pictures of packages standing by the door come in, and the status of the order changes to "done". A minute later, Junior picked up a new one.

Cool, it's like a bot is farming for me.

But it is not clear what Systems gets out of it. But I won't ask, because why should my colleagues know that a bot is doing the most painful part of our work for me? I guess it's more profitable for the Delivery to have me running around unreal and gathering energy than wandering around the city and distributing fast food. I don't understand why my other self is younger than me, though. What would a psychologist say about this?

Okay, now we can work!

"Look what I shot!"

I waved Glasses-kid off, showed the storekeeper the day-quest for delivery to the pharmacy, and only when I put another package in my bag did I see what he was showing me. I sighed, took the phone away from him, pulled out my own, and dialed the number:

"Inspector? Am I disturbing you too much? Hello," Glasses-kid looked at me perplexed, and I held up my hand to indicate that I would explain. "I'm not entirely sure, but is the presence of demons in the city your department?"

The receiver cursed, Sage put the paper down sharply, and Brute groaned.

The rest of the day went wrong. The police broke into the hall in ten minutes, took the phone from Goggles-kid, and passed it around to make sure that our young genius had managed to film the very thing I had seen at the Guild of Adventurers yesterday. Everyone who received the phone and saw the "twisted" in the picture was cursing. However, there were only four of them.

Goggles-kid was taken aside, where he was interrogated about where he had met the horror. I wanted to eavesdrop, but I was taken over by Rainin personally, convincing me to confess without torture how I knew about demons and to repent. The honest story did not please him, I was ordered to sit and wait. I had to sit, and I also had to call the pharmacy to arrange a postponement.

An hour later, the commotion finally died down, and I decided to take the opportunity. Rainin, listening to the story of the recent quest and turning the business card in his hands, shook his head: "Nav' is not people. Remember the folk tales of all the dead that came back. And how it ended."

"Is there anyone I can ask? If not to bring them back here, at least help them in some way?"

Rainin grew dark: "Do you think anyone needs it?"

The question was obviously a trick, but I didn't want to think about the intonation, so I just nodded: "I think so. I can't just leave people without hope. Killing is all right, but just leaving, without help and without hope... well, that sort of thing."

The inspector silently took out his notebook, wrote something, and turned it toward me: "Memorized?"

I read it to myself three times and nodded. Rainin tore out the page demonstratively, lit it with a lighter, and made sure it burned to ashes, which he carefully trampled down.

He seems a little too serious.

"If they say you can, you can. If they don't and you decide to disobey, then... don't. You just shouldn't."

Definitely too serious.

And here's another thing - don't forget to bring a gift. They're women of old upbringing, they won't move without the right approach. That's it, goodbye. In fact, you'd better get out of town for a week, or there's a reason for all this.

Goggles-kid was dragged away under escort, and I was the only one left in the hall. What a life, just thought I'd run around normally, score some points, and all sorts of things came out. Well, to hell with them, I'd really better get to the Setting, I have guild quests are waiting there. And the girl with a tail, which could be taken to a restaurant, for starters. There are places where they take girls to rest, aren't there?

Buzz.

Junior? Shit, what happened to this one?!

Boss, I got the mattress for free. May I leave it?

Oh, that's it. I should have given him money to settle in.

"You can. Well done."

I put my finger over the phone when it bleeped again.

Created a skill of the first level - Trade

Oh, that fast? Well, that's not bad. But now I'm much more interested in something else. The auction, paying for the session, the request - an unusual gift for a woman, the range of prices - from zero... uh... okay, how much do I have? So - up to five thousand Delivering points.

After all, I'm going to ask people, I have to try.

Even if they are slightly dead.

* * *

Darcksage · Jun 10, 2023

The formating is all wonky.

RiP · Jun 10, 2023

Epitome of Eccentricity said:
Am I high or does the majority of the first chapter just not make much sense?

Most of it is a rather vague definition. Can you be more specific? Something may have gotten lost in translation.

RiP · Jun 11, 2023

Chapter 17

* * *

Just think about it, I gave people what they've been craving - a real cat lady. The ears, the tail, the muzzle, and the disdain in the look, all-natural to the point of impossibility! A full-fledged "morning of the furry adventurer" photoshoot with nude elements!

What did they say? Unreal proportions! Cheap makeup! No sexy vibes!

And what are they referring to? What is the benchmark for them? A cosplayer who has only a hoop with ears and an ass. I don't disagree, the butt is an argument, but when it's countered by a natural, self-grown tail... What do you know about catgirls!

Especially the real ones.

Walk to the left of the palm tree, touching it with your fingers.

I wonder why all these nuances of the quest? What is primary - where to pass or touch? Or maybe it's all necessary to create a certain mood, which then will play? And should the courier know what's important and what's not?

The road this time was not easy. Three times they tried to attack, but the magic combination "invisibility + teleport" saved me. And in general, the second hour only to go there, and for this time already a couple of C-quest could deliver.

And yet there were subscriptions to Mira, two hundred a day.

Why would I want to do that? Certainly not to sell pornography. Now I'm reading the comments, and even though I'm mad at the idiots, I know that it was me who shot it! You have to try everything in life! Quantum physics and weightlifting I can not pull, so I'll try to be a star producer. No, show business doesn't appeal to me, there's too much bodywork, but the part of it that is on the Internet, to laugh at the comments and to make money, will do.

Walk to the left of the palm tree, touching it with your fingers.

Did I go for a second round? Did I point my finger wrong the first time? Well, you better specify, I have a lot of fingers.

I found the quest in the notebook. Yes, I didn't risk going to bed first again, and while Junior went to bed, I flipped through the notes, trying to figure out the scheme of the cipher. I could not, so I decided that it was made by some kind of system device. And since I'd have to translate it sooner or later anyway, I wondered what to expect. I picked out the most worn pages, which even began to turn a little in the corners, translated them, and began to read.

Half of it is already familiar with the boards, ad conversion, and setting dependency, but there is some interesting stuff, too. For example - types of orders, distribution by system level, and so on. One thing for another then helped to compare pending auction items and ads on the board and found a match. Some orders hang for months and years, leaving the general list in the archive. Which, again, is a paid treatment. Weird orders, it is unclear by whom and for what purpose-made. Most require special equipment or matching settings, so there is little willingness to contact. But my predecessor noticed a curious trick: some orders the System does not remove. It starts to add a reward for completion, which accumulates until one of the couriers decides that this is something to go for. I do not know what the point of Delivery is in such a scheme is. But it turns out that there is an implicit way to get relatively easy quests that pay much more than usual. And even get an extra reward!

In this quest, the reward was a "beautiful flower," which my app didn't recognize. And anyway, I only now realized that all I had in my database were the ingredients for several potions, so the scanner was just a waste of time. I need to get some kind of herbalist journal or a similar book.

Stop at the big rock, wait for the hawk's cry

I wish I knew how a hawk screams.

I slowed down and took out a bottle and sipped my water. It was a surreal picture of me standing by a rock somewhere in the middle of the desert, wearing a cloak and carrying a bag, and no movement for miles around. Where did the birds come from? Rocks, sand, snags, me.

A shadow flashed to the side, then went up, shouting. A new line appeared in the appendix:

Walk toward the sun, keeping to the right

Okay, I'll go. I wonder if I throw my phone away now, what would happen? Is there even one other person in this world? Speaking of people, Junior is something. He brought a mattress, an old cotton mattress, a pillow, and some food for dinner yesterday, for both of us. He said he had asked for free food in the restaurant, which I never would have thought of, and I never would have asked for it. Is that how his skill works? And if I take it, I'll think like that too? Then let him rock, I want to be even smarter!

So, there's no wind, but the dried grass is moving in waves. Should I walk on it? Go around it? The app didn't give me a clue, so I picked up a rock and threw it at the tall, chest-high grass. Nothing. I stood at the edge of the thicket, but no scent of life, no crunch of gnawed bones. Let us consider it conditionally safe. Although in such grass I could not put the exit point of the teleport far away, it covers everything, so I walk and look around.

So, about Junior. I used bots, of course. Three eternal pleasures: watching the water flowing, the fire burning, and the bot farming resources. Junior was just reminiscent of such a bot, a good one, with a replenishable database. Once said once, and he continues to do so himself. Yesterday he was quite dumb, looking and staring, but now looks into the phone, as if alive. Took away, curious - shopping podcasts, marketplaces, eBay, he studies, watching YouTube channels of various couriers. But I told him to "sleep" and he immediately laid down, snoring.

Boring, that's it. Yes, the quest is very scenic, interesting, educational. For example, now I know how a hawk screams! But for two hours now, not a single living soul. Except for those two naughty creatures that seemed to be zombies, and that terrestrial crocodile with the mimicry. If it hadn't been the scanner, I wouldn't have even noticed it. But it rendered everything, lit it up, and I jumped away without any losses.

Half of one of the pages of the notebook was devoted to the dangers of quests. And it explicitly said that nothing extreme could be encountered on the road. Sure, sometimes it happens but in general, the System leads the trail in safe places, so look around, think a little, and rely on the description of the quest. Difficulties come in handing the order, and when returning, when you relax, so it was recommended to take an uncomplicated order in the direction in which you return. Seems like simple advice, but useful, I would not buy such a guide; but I would definitely give a like.

By the way, a week of independent life has flashed by, with all these wonders. Life is inexorable: I already sell weeds and white powder, the onlifans account is gaining momentum, what else is left without parental supervision? No, well, I'll try not to descend into politics, so... unrestrained student drinking? But I have a complicated relationship with alcohol. Somehow I don't happen to drink it. It's not that I'm a teetotaler, it's just... no, what's the point of it? Bread is nourishing, meat is tasty, a tomato is healthy, a cookie is awesome. And vodka? Drinking a smelly, tasteless liquid that makes you a fool at once and sick the next day - what's the point? To adjust to a temporary general degradation? What's the point? Let them get smarter to my level if they want to communicate.

It's hard these days with vices. Everywhere you look, it is allowed and even encouraged.

Do whatever you want... and I do. I walked through another world, looking up into the yellow sky. I had to put my hands in the pockets of my cape, the grass was cutting hands. But I am still bored. I am walking and talking to myself as if I were in a video game. Right?

Walk between the hills, the goal of the quest is the lone tree in the circle of stones.

Just now I was walking on the plain, nothing hilly for kilometers, and look at this. All right, I'll go through. Speaking of other worlds, the terminology itself encourages choice. If I'm offered a quest, I'll choose the appropriate setting. Again, about randomness - already the second round of stones and again in a hot, unfriendly place. Randomness isn't random? Does Chaos have its own rules?

I didn't notice the figure among the rocks right away. A girl in a loincloth and with long, below-the-waist hair was smiling like... I don't even know who could smile like that. Maybe she was confused with someone else. I was expecting dwarves or elves or something else unusual, but after two hours on the road to meet a smiling topless girl, it's a little unexpected.

And the first word the customer said was unexpected: "Cloudy!"

I even looked around, but the girl was looking right at me and smiling at me.

"Hello, I am from the Delivery System..."

"I know."

And pause again.

She wasn't smiling quite normally. And she wasn't looking at me quite normally, either - like in a museum, in front of a painting you really want to look at. I was literally taken in with her eyes as if a courier was such a rarity that one must be sure to memorize every fold and every thread.

"Let me give you your order, okay?"

She nodded, completely oblivious to my fuss.

"Here, your order is a double burger, coke, nuggets."

I closed the bag, both afraid to turn my back on the girl and afraid to stare at her. The more unexpected was the whisper of joy:

"Sweet..."

I turned around, and she was holding a cup of Coke like it was filled with... I don't even know what. The girl sniffed it, pressed it to her cheek, tasted the moisture dripping down the surface with the tip of her tongue.

"Pity it doesn't pinch. But it's delicious, thank you!"

I logged into the app, checking the completion of the quest. The girl obviously didn't confirm anything, but the order was immediately paid for.

"Oh, I forgot! There it is!"

Very carefully placing the cup in a kind of stone chest of several flat boulders she rushed to the tree. As it turned out, the loincloth only covered the front slightly, and it seemed impolite to stare. So I pretended to be very interested in the situation. A circle of rocks, twenty meters across, a tree in the middle. A few withered snags, stacks of grass piled in the corner. It looks like they used it for mats. I don't know how you can sit on them, even the grass looks sharp.

"Take it!"

Smiling, she held out a flower to me in her palms. Only now did I realize that everything around me was a gray-sand color. The field of dry grass was somewhere far away; now the only movement in the dry, hot air was the ruffling of the ribbons on the tree. And also us.

And here is a flower - pink, with delicate fluffy petals, half the size of a palm.

"Come on, leave it."

The girl shook her head: "No, no, I grow it for my friends!"

"So give it to them, I just brought the order!"

"Cloudy, take it! Otherwise it's not fair!"

My refusal seemed to upset her in earnest. I accepted the flower carefully, then fumbled with my bag - the plastic box for the ingredients. You know, the kind you keep lettuce in in the fridge.

"And you're just giving it away? The only bright spot in your place?"

"I have others now!"

She gently ran her finger along the white-red side of the paper cup.

Something about this order makes my hair stand on end.

"Look, how long have you been here?"

She shrugged vaguely: "I don't remember. I guess I've been here forever."

It was said with fun and a smile that made my hair stand on end even more.

"What, you can't count?"

The girl looked around puzzled, then snapped her fingers and confessed triumphantly: "I can! Here's the bench, I made it out of that tree from before. And those two sticks are from even earlier! The corral - two trees before it, I was hoping to catch a bird at the time. Funny, I remember the word, but I've forgotten what it is. I mean I remember," she looked at her hands, clasping her fingers. "Seven trees!"

The measure of time is interesting. The tree itself was about three meters tall, made up of cracked, stubby branches and a few tufts of dark green needles.

"Do the delivery men come here often? How many of us have been here?"

With a serious scowl, she began to count: "Cloudy - now. And Old - now, but before. And also Bone, he was with the old tree, I grew him three whole flowers. And before him, there was a tree and no friends. And before that there was Roundhead and Evil, but they killed each other." Jumping up, the girl ran up to the patch of land next to the tree. It looked like a "bedroom," because the ground inside the three-by-three-meter patch was carefully sifted. Something like a mattress, from which she carefully dug out two skulls. One was clearly not human.

She showed it to me, and then bashfully confessed: "I ate them. It was so frustrating that my friends had died and the tree was still small. There is no food. Only when the tree grows, there is dew on the rocks."

It didn't even seem strange.

"What, you can't get out of here?"

"I used to be able to, but there was nowhere to go. And now..."

She stood up and walked to the edge of the stone circle. The boulders were much rarer here than in the one where the Umruns from my world had ended up, but the line was felt. She put her fingers out carefully... and they were almost immediately chipped by the invisible wind.

Showing me her torn fingernails and flushed skin, she shoved them thoughtfully into her mouth. I walked over to the rocks, sticking my hand out over the line, too. Nothing.

"Can we eat together? I remember we used to eat together! I could drink lots and lots of sweet water!"

And that joy in her voice was not a pretense. She was really happy for me. Looking around again, I took a moment to figure out if everything inside the ring of stones was only wooden, stone, or made of rope. Hairy? You have to pop out into the flesh-crushing wind to pick herbs. She quenches her hunger with dew; instead of a pillow, she has driftwood, a remnant of a previous tree. She can probably make a fire on holidays from friction from saved wood chips, but it will work... not every year. There is not even an old fireplace nearby. Of sights - a tree, stones, and a dull landscape. From the tastes - to chew a needle of a bitter even to look like a tree, or here is her own blood.

Well, yeah, that's about how I imagined hell. But what did she have to do to get here? If the Umruns are going to be like this, spend a hell of a lot of years in a circle of stones... I've got to get them out.

Or finish them off.

"How do you create an order?"

"What?"

I had to be more specific: "How do you ask Delivery to tell me the way to you?"

"Аh! The wind! I ask him, he's not evil, he has to watch over me. I go out and ask him. Only I have to close my eyes. By the time my eyes grow back, it is very boring and the dew is hard to find. Then a friend comes, I give him something. Do you like the flower?"

She said this obviously to hear my voice. Of course, I agreed.

Then we had lunch. I watched the girl take a crumbfull bite of a cold hamburger, enjoying every second of it. She even wanted to offer me one! But I declined, saying I had lunch before I went out. Damn, I should have taken it to demons or aliens. That was the creepiest thing I'd ever felt in my life. Not from coming here, but from leaving.

She carefully poured half a cup of Coke into a stone pitcher, then carefully, trying not to tear it, licked the wrappers and spread them out on the rocks, pressing them on top. I put the nugget wrappers in the mini-cellar. Probably couldn't even survive bacteria in here, so they'd stay there until the gala dinner. A year, ten? A hundred?

I stood up, threw off my cloak, and unbuttoned my shirt. The girl bit her lip, but more with curiosity than fright.

"Here, take this. Since we're friends, this is a present for you," I held out the plain red checked shirt, and she rejoiced the way no one rejoices in the most expensive fur coat. I was thanked a hundred times, and she put it on top of her, then sniffed it, then put it on again, then very, very carefully folded it and put it away in a secret hole next to the tree. I turned out my pockets. Money? Bullshit, it's just pretty pieces of paper to spread out and examine. Too bad there were only four bills. But seven nickels of change - she could weave them into a hairline.

The girl immediately objected that it would be better to make a frame, she had three pieces of wood that would fit very well! I agreed. Handkerchief. Damn, it's dirty. But she looked at it so much that I gave it to her, too. Half-drunk water poured in the dorm from the kettle into the bottle. The uneaten sandwiches Junior had made that morning. I wanted to get her something else, but I needed boots and pants, or I'd be legless in that grass, a phone was my way back, and a cape and a bag, I knew. And it's a shame to give her a sweaty T-shirt, though she would have gladly accepted it, too.

"Cloudy!"

The girl suddenly threw herself on my neck and started sobbing. Why am I a "Cloudy"? Probably because of the size of my belly and cheeks. Well, on the bright side, two people like her could get into my shirt.

"If you don't come, I'll remember you for a long, long time! Three, maybe even five trees! As long as I can!"

I was shivering again. Smiling and trying not to be too crooked, I started to get ready. Already at the edge of the stone circle, I stopped: "Look, I'll try to visit you again sometime. But forgive me if I can't."

"Of course! Thank you, Cloudy, you... you are... you're a true friend!"

I took another look at the girl - the normal height, dark hair down to her butt, skinny and burned out. Maybe I should have looked through the scanner... but there are times when you realize it's better not to. In much knowledge there are many sorrows.

Waving goodbye, I opened the description of the quest and took the first step.

Accidents are not accidental.

Why did the System show it to me? To hint at the importance of my mission? It's all bullshit with titles, I'm not an angel. Why would an angel go to hell? I've already found the second one. In one of them, people lick red-hot rocks in the heat, and in the other, a millennium girl grows dead trees. Why would the System chase me through such places? What would Delivery get from unreal people? Should I spit on everything and get drunk at home? That seems to be the tradition in cases like this. Uh-huh, and who's going to do the business? Go to work, you wuss!

Well, yeah, maybe that's why they showed it. "Your work is important to us! It brings us income..." No, I understand that in the world someone can live much worse, and for someone, the fate of the girl will seem almost a paradise, but it doesn't make it any easier. And all I get to experience is this heavy bewilderment - how can this be? Why is that, huh?

"Uh-uh-uh."

The dead man, whom I had avoided before, was much more active this time and moved much faster. It made me shake up because it's hard to suffer the injustice of the world and run away at the same time, trying to get the teleport exit right. The two-second "ring of invisibility" on the zombie was clearly not enough; it barely slowed down. So by the time I got away, by the time I got to the place where I had to "shuffle my foot, throwing back the stones," I had already somehow cheered up.

The shift isn't over, I have to work. I'll worry about it later.

Rainin wrote "opening hours from 10:30 to 17:00". Will I make it before closing time? What's waiting there? No, if I'm told that they will help me, then they will help me. Even gave a hint as to what type of quests need to have in their inventory. I got the flower, it's good as a gift, I guess. Seven thousand points dropped for the quest, which is nice. If the obscure place I have to go to has office hours, it must be some kind of institution. Maybe I should wrap up in my dorm, change my shirt.

About halfway through, the Internet turned on, and I went to check my e-mail... An hour later I realized that I had let go. The warranty was on, I was lucky, and there was some understanding of what needed to be done. I mean, do something, but I don't know what exactly. But I'll find out.

If I can't get them out, at least I'll do something. You can't do that. That's it.

I uploaded some more of Mira's photos for subscribers and sent some to a friend. He would spread them all over the place, but I asked him not to overwrite the watermark. I'd get a hundred or two more subscribers by tomorrow.

I could almost guess my surroundings, and the world looked almost normal. The package of reports from Junior came down at once, and I glanced through them without interest. He took the order - he delivered the order, no amateurism. Then a classmate wanted to chat, bored at work. I was told that I had my job and that they could eat me up at this kind of work. He sent me a picture of a fuck and then disconnected.

"Hey, where the hell is you going again?!"

I was standing on the fresh asphalt again. How is it that an unknown mystical road leads here? Or is this shrieking accent a condition of anchoring me to the real world?

"Thank you, you are doing very well!"

The road worker didn't believe me and started cursing. I had to use concealment and jump to the other end of the street.

So much excitement and we don't have three hours yet. So we're going to beg for something from someone we don't know, and at the same time for a price, we don't know. But he promised, didn't he? And we, Kuziakins, keep our word!

Almost always.

The building I was looking for turned out to be an ordinary administrative three-story building. On the wall at the entrance to the only entrance hung a dozen different signs of government offices, including the incomprehensible, but clearly my "Migration Committee".

Does Rainin understand exactly what I want? Or is this committee is the correct committee?

At the reception desk, I had to explain what I needed, and the most ordinary guard in the most ordinary camouflage entered my data in the log. He asked for my passport, I offered my phone, the guard was not surprised and held it with the familiar reader, after which he lost interest in me.

Only now do I realize that it was a shame to give the flower away. She grew it, she tried, who's going to appreciate it here? Maybe they'll take the points? I ran out into the street and rushed to the grocery store, picking out the freshest cake I could find. The guard at the sight of me pretended to be unfamiliar with me, and again signed in the magazine, and only then flicked the turntable switch, allowing me to pass.

What struck me immediately was the emptiness. The day in the middle of the day, the place is clearly present, and even more so, there should be crowds of concerned people, so where are they? Could it be that we are simply being sent out to neighboring worlds, and at the same moment there are dozens of people in the corridor? If you think about it, it might be the same principle in the dorm: you always feel like there's someone around, but they're always either behind a door that just closed or about to turn down another hallway. It's like a perfect horror movie.

I stopped at one door, and something familiarly clicked. Then it jangled, and I realized: a typewriter! Do they still use them?

The office I needed on the fourth floor was almost at the end of the corridor. I stopped at the door, which was padded with this soft thing with rivets for some reason, and knocked gently. Yep, I could see why it was upholstered. Turning around, I tapped with my foot, so that it could be heard. I couldn't hear the answer from inside, so I sighed and somehow smiled and pulled the handle. I don't like all kinds of offices, especially if it's written on the door... Shit, I forgot to look.

"Good day?"

It's not the best room of sorts, cramped. I could fit a few of them in my attic. Three tables, two against each other, and one by the window. An old one, still with a wooden frame, judging by the peeling paint - am I sure I'm in the right place?

"What are you with, young man?"

"With a cake."

Two of the three elderly women present hummed, and the one sitting by the window broke away from her knitting:

"And only with it? What need is that for?"

"For resolution."

"For what?"

"Well, I don't know how to say it."

The knitting lady gnashed her knitting needles and advised: "Just say it like it is."

The question is, if I got in the wrong place and started talking about umruns, the desert, demons, and other worlds, how would a normal person react? The ladies are perfectly normal, except that they are dressed too tightly for the summer weather. But what is the dress code here? What if I'm in the wrong room? Or the floor? I'll start ranting and they'll call the psychiatrists.

I walked into the room in one piece, and carefully placed the box with cake on the table, asking permission beforehand.

"As it is... Well, I work in Delivery."

The knitter took her eyes off her work for a moment and looked in a way that made it clear she didn't have much respect for couriers.

"And then I got to some creepy place, and there..."

I told them about my meeting with the Umruns, about their request for help, about how I had to do something for people, and I felt more and more like a fool with each word. I had broken into the usual accounting office and was giving the women metaphysical bullshit. Now they're going to send me away.

"Go, young man."

I twitched, but the one sitting on my right added: "There is a cooler next to the stairwell, get some water. Please."

Oh, yeah, that's right. I saw something like that.

I got up, took the kettle from the left one, and went out into the hallway. The door slammed gently and inevitably behind me. There was no sign on it.

Something was unusual here.

I still couldn't figure out what it was. So, I go into the building, there's a guard, everything's fine. People came in before me, but they weren't in the hallway - bullshit, they could have gone into the room. Then I go up the stairs like I was told. Knocking... no, before.

The kettle was full, and I just caught a few drops with my finger and licked it off for some reason. Something on the stairs? Damn, they'll eat my cake now, and then they'll laugh. Or...

I went out to the stairs and watched the old, narrow steps go up. Wiped out, a lot of people had passed through here.

Yes, that's right. A three-story house and the office I was told was on the fourth floor. Uff, such relieved, the good old unreal is here after all. So, not in vain came! My thoughts immediately switched to the cake - by the way, I chose a good one, so can the three of them eat it? And what about me?

For the sake of curiosity I went down to the third floor - it was empty, a bit dark, the lamps were burning every other one. The same cooler, chairs along the wall for visitors, the indistinct sounds of work, coming either from behind the doors or right through the walls. The doors are also monotonous, and the one behind the one on the fourth floor, where the women I need sit, is exactly the same - dermantin or whatever it is, studded with rivets.

Just to be sure, opened the door. Better to do and apologize than to think about what might be behind such a door.

The right, distracted from the monitor, looked up: "Did you bring it?"

"One moment."

I closed the door and went to the stairs. Sure, I'd heard stories about official people being forced to be monotonous and horror stories about corporate rules duping everyone, but would they be so identical that everyone had my cake on the table?

I went down to the first floor, then up, counting the floors. On the fifth, I turned down the corridor again, a corridor that looked suspiciously familiar, but still different.

This time behind the door, the left one was taking the lid off the box and the right one was holding out the knife for her.

Silently closing the door, I returned to the stairs and continued climbing. The sixth floor, the seventh, the eighth - all the corridors were different, but each time there was something new to see out of the window. The backyard and garage gave way to an official-looking square, then a gray tilled area with a couple of trees, then a high wall with a school stadium behind it. At about the ninth, I turned off again and went to the familiar door.

"Young man, haven't you had enough?"

This time it was the one with the knitting that asked me. With a dumb nod, I put the kettle on the table and sat down on the only visitor's chair. By the door. A little farther away.

The cake was cut into six pieces, the kettle was placed on the nightstand, just under the sign "the use of electric heating devices is strictly prohibited!"

"Lach, where is a tea leaf?"

"Atro, you ask every time. Nothing has changed."

Either something pushed me, or I just sat uncomfortably, but my foot moved the bag.

"I've got a present for you."

They looked at me curiously, and as soon as I opened the box, Atro snatched it out of my hands:

"Girls, look, such a wonder!"

Now even the knitter was up, they looked at me approvingly, and a translucent glass teapot was retrieved from the cabinet. It was boring to watch them fiddling with the brew, so I pulled out my phone and checked briefly to see what Junior was up to. At least this one was okay. I made three more deliveries, closed the slot, and immediately picked up a new one. Well done, bot, work hard for my sake!

"It's ready, give me the cup."

They weren't talking to me, although the smell was nice. It wasn't proper to look at strangers without their knowledge, but I took out my phone anyway.

Not a single name, not a single digit of levels. The ladies were not recognized by the system scanner. But the teapot was identified:

???????? ???? ??????

Saturation 72/1

I'm freezing for a moment. Twenty to one is conventionally blue, thirty is epic... There's something higher than "legendary" in this teapot. A lot higher. Where did I come to? What did I bring?!

"Would you drink?"

Lach... Or whatever her name was?

"I won't be bursting?"

All three of them pondered: "Well, you shouldn't... probably."

That's a very meaningful clarification. Okay, maybe they'll be too lazy to clean up the corpse.

Recalling the horror stories about all the potions the pharmacist had told me, I sipped. It's just good tea. My mom makes better tea, but here it's just water from the cooler. They didn't offer me any cake. It's understandable, it's not mystical crap, it's just honest goodness. They're too greedy to share. However, the tea party did not interfere with the business, the ladies were exchanging phrases:

"What about the quotas?"

"The quarter is not closed, can we put them there?"

"How many are there?"

I tried to answer but didn't have time. Atro clarified:

"One hundred and seventeen. Fit the system's standards. Young man, what's your setting? Oh, I see... Well, are we within the quotas? That should work." And already turned to me admonishingly clarified. "But in fact, you need to make an application in advance. It is not such a simple thing, by the way!"

Then, with a spoon, she carefully removed the creamy rose from her slice and drank... with this unknown decoction, for some reason called a tea.

Finally, it was over. The printer threw out the papers, the stapler clicked, and the stamps came down three times... I took the stairs down four floors, went out through the gatehouse, and looked around. Just passed by a man with a folder under his arm, the security guard checked his documents and opened his turntable. Was it my imagination, or did the turntable swivel in the wrong direction for this visitor?

By the way, I never heard the name of the third accountant, the one with the knitting. What would she be called - Cloty?

Brrrh. I wish I could tear a page out of my memory, burn it, and trample the ashes.

Why do they sit in our usual state company? Why am I talking about it, I saw for myself that they seem to be everywhere. Only not everyone can visit them. One can be proud... Or on the contrary, try to forget it as a bad dream?

Without looking at the papers, I slipped them into the inside pocket of my bag, and then I resolutely went home. That's it, no more miracles for today, I do not have extra nerve cells. To hell with your bonus, I'm not made of stone, I need rest, you can't earn all the points. And anyway, what makes me think this is Them? Once upon a time, there were ordinary accountants, who jokingly called themselves the masters of destiny, got under the emission of unreal and incarnated, and now they work, sorting out the dead people.

And no mystique at all!

I've decided to spend the rest of the day in blissful laziness. I'm going to look at the pornography contestants, figure out what poses to shoot Mira in. Again, I have a lot of shows I haven't watched, I haven't read the novel, so it's a mess.

That's enough for today.

I'll think about miracles tomorrow.

* * *

RiP · Jun 12, 2023

Chapter 18

* * *

The documents I received turned out to be odd. To begin with, it was permission to form a combined detachment, and I, as the person in charge, was to collect, arm, and train them. An important point: in obtaining this permission (not even by signing it, just by getting it!) I undertook to "provide sufficient skills" to guarantee the employment of each ward.

Yeah, yeah, I also thought it looked like the beginning of some murky quest in a B-ranked RPG... but I chose the setting myself. And it's probably just another nudge towards the Allied System. No, well, if you pick on the wording, then you can bring them a stack of self-study books, and let them educate themselves. But something tells me not to contradict the spirit of what is printed and do it properly.

Messenger Marius, level 9

Somehow I pump up too easily. It's like I'm being boosted on purpose. For what purpose? I vaguely guess, but what if it doesn't work until I say it out loud? On the other hand, maybe our world is a sandbox and there are just no high ones? But then where do they go?

"Boss, let's go?"

I looked around, Junior was standing at the door with a bag over his shoulders. Great bot, eager to work himself!

"Let's go. Do you have money for the day?"

"I have, Boss."

"Do you need more?"

"I need, Boss. I gonna buy one thing then resell it."

Feel like a scoundrel - spending money earned by an underage slave. Junior's not even a week old! He's been working all day, and all he's earned is given to me, so how is that fair? Well, I might as well give some of it back, let him have his fun.

In the seventh hall, work was already in full swing: the storekeeper was staring dully at the wall, and the Sage was explaining something to Glasses-kid: "Parents influence their children, seeing in them unconsciously an extension of themselves. So it turns out that in a family of werewolves with a "wolf disembodied" little puppies grow up. No accidental infection or ritual bites, everything is simpler and more logical."

"Then there must be a reverse effect?"

"Of course, but a child's mind is more controllable. And adults have gained more power over the years, so children are like their parents, not the other way around."

It's a sweet picture of a venerable old man explaining to a young man where babies come from.

"Hello. folks!"

The two of them twitched, and the storekeeper pretended to be an NPC and continued staring at the wall. Although who the hell knows, maybe he's staring through space and time right now.

"Hi. Keeping it up, TikTok star?"

"I'll hit you."

The bespectacled kid didn't get scared, instead, he quickly tapped the phone and demonstrated the development of the meme with me. This time there were two of me: filmed yesterday as Junior and I walked and captioned it "Happy fat people multiply! Two of them already!" and all sorts of insinuations about when my critical mass will fill the entire land space. With a shrug, I crouched on the bench and began to think about what feat to accomplish today.

First, we should take to the pharmacy ingredients for the daily quest - earnings are small, but the information channel is constant. Also need to find out where the skills are taken and what kind of System there. Check prices, to figure out what the budget will be for me to train all the survivors. Besides, how do you learn these skills? Will I have to buy a hundred smartphones and provide for each ward, or will one be enough?

Next - to go to the stone circle... brrr, I don't want to, but people are waiting. To discuss the prospects, maybe they would like to roast in the sun there. By the way, don't just go, but with gifts. Because I'm their owner now, and it's not all that easy to accept, we must do something to distract them. Maybe I shouldn't say anything. Mm-hmm, and it will come out at the most inopportune moment.

"What are you thinking about?"

Goggles-kid sit beside me, disgustingly energetic and cheerful. Eh, youth...

"Making plans to conquer the world."

So, I still need to pick up merchandise in the world of the setting, for sale. There's a lot of shopping to be done, weapons and armor, and yesterday I thought I'd expand the definition base in the scanner, and books are expensive there. More bottles again? I'll lower the price, it is better to consult with the Guild of traders.

Goggles-kid interrupted the thought again: "And I changed my title! Look," and he shoved a screen under my nose. "I'm now a Hero of the Delivery System."

Sage and I responded in two voices:

"Idiot."

"Donkey!"

And even the storekeeper shook his head sadly. The Main, now officially, Hero, frowned.

"Listen, four-eyes, you've been brainwashed for a reason about unreal. Every word and every move is for a reason. And you signed up for the most disgusting role!"

"Come on, you're the "Messenger" yourself!"

"And this gives me certain freedom of action. Plus it guarantees some kind of immunity because it is not customary to cut up messengers."

Sage snickered skeptically, but I continued to pretend that I had everything under control: "And now you're a "Hero" and they're going to stick you where it's hottest!"

"I want to do it myself!" He jumped up and paced back and forth angrily. "Look, we're involved in miracles!"

"We're screwed."

"The world is very different, it's wider, brighter!"

"You just cleaned your glasses."

"We can change it!"

"And no one will notice it."

Do you really want to sit here in the doghouse instead of... all this! - And he pointed outside the unwashed window. I guessed how much I had to do, and nodded in agreement. Goggles-kid just rolled his eyes and sat back angrily.

Explaining to a man his irrefutable faults is hopeless. He wouldn't believe me anyway, so I was back on the list. But they tried to drag me into the conversation again: "Have you seen the warlock lately?"

Tearing myself away from the to-do list, I tried to remember: "A few days ago."

Hero nodded: "Yeah, right at the time the demons showed up. And he could see them without a scanner!"

"Do you think he's been eaten?"

"Or he found out something."

"So sit back and wait. You're a Hero, and if it's about Delivery, you'll soon be called up and thrown into action."

"I'm sick of waiting!"

I didn't want to talk to the stupid teenager, so I defiantly put my headphones in my ears. So, where to start? I should probably go get something to eat. If I'm a star now, and I'm recognizable, I need to stay in shape.

There was one inconvenience in delivery work, though. In any restaurant, when they saw my cape and bag, they would immediately ask what kind of order I had come for. And I was a customer in my own right, it was my day off!

Putting the tray on a vacant table, I opened the board and thought about it. I need to find someone who either trades skills or creates them. Buying at auction is filling someone else's pocket. I barely have enough points to pay for my room and recharge my gadgets. Well, it's not that bad, but skills, especially combat ones, probably cost more? So let it be something like:

Experienced traveler between the worlds of magical settings looking for an order from the staff of the Skills System, payment is negotiable.

Nothing else came to mind. The hell knows who they are in their System of Skills, and what to lure them with. I had to trust the System, to see if it would lead me there. After a bit of tinkering with the settings, I restricted access to the message to those who should receive it, agreed to the price of publication, and pressed "send". Now we will wait.

All this thinking about what needed to be done, and in what order, made my head feel uncomfortable and rumbling. I was definitely forgetting something, but what? Just in case, I pulled out my phone and quickly scanned my surroundings, then the tray of food. A girl sitting at a nearby table rolled her eyes. And I'm not one of those at all! This is different!

Although... If you think about it, the trend of taking pictures of food may not just be the fashion. It could have appeared when someone in the system scanned the plate in public, and the civilians were pissed off. Ouch, the hell with all this crap!

The phone bleeped as I finished and licked my fingers.

"Hello?"

"Did you post that ad?"

"Clarify?"

Did Junior do it?

"Well, you're the traveler..." The interlocutor hesitated, but he finished. "Between worlds?"

No, he didn't.

"That's me. Are you from Skills?"

"Yes... I guess."

"I'm sorry, are you guessing or are you really are?"

"I really am."

"Ok."

I picked up my bag and went outside.

"So what can I do for the Creators?"

"We..." From the voices on the other side of the line, there was a quick discussion. "We'd like to hire you."

"This is perfectly in line with my intentions. Where would you like to meet? I would like to talk to you in person."

There was another murmur and I was told the address and room number in a whisper.

Judging by the map, the business center of the old building.

"Okay, I'll be there in twenty minutes."

The caller was puzzled and then disconnected. Well, what else am I going to see strange now? Who can those who create skills be? For some reason, I imagined people in oriental armor performing some kind of kata in front of a chromakey. Now we'll see.

I did not bother the guard at the entrance, immediately jumped through the glass into the hallway, to the stairs. From the second floor, I summoned the elevator, went to the seventh floor, and walked down the unpleasantly dark corridor. Almost remembered yesterday, but then one door swung open and some women rustled past. I was relieved. Finally, I stopped at another faceless door, knocked, and opened it.

In the center of the big room sat a guy a little older than me, pushing his leg around in his chair, looking at the long rows of monitors. When he noticed the intrusion, he was surprised:

"I didn't order anything, are you sure you're at the right address?"

"Absolutely, if you gave me the right address in a recent conversation."

The reaction was quite strange - he jumped up, froze, then squeezed past me and ran down the corridor. I had never been greeted like that before, but since he didn't convince me that it wasn't him, then it was him. I went in and looked around: a mixture of a computer club and an online store. Along the walls are tables, a line of monitors, under the tables - boxes of system units, in the corners of the piles of boxes. And right in the middle was a nice chair on wheels.

All that spoke of the otherworldly was the emblem printed on a meter-long sheet of paper, a stylized rack of scrolls hanging on the wall. That's it, Skills.

"Hm!"

While I was staring behind me at the door, a whole bunch of people gathered. Judging by the cast, this is a small sitcom, maybe even an Internet series. Typical cast: the protagonist, a tall, sturdy young man. Next to him is a mischievous young genius. There's also an affectation girl with secrets, a stern man from the farm, and the obligatory rastaman with dreadlocks.

And a guest star played by me.

The mischievous young genius suddenly pointed his finger joyfully in my direction:

"I know you!"

What, another meme geek?

"You're the idiot who forgot to turn off the camera after the stream!"

This shame will be remembered forever.

"Yes, that was me. And you just raised the delivery price by twenty percent."

Suddenly the Stern one grabbed the bumpy-haired boy by the shoulder and shook him. The girl and the elf looked at him reproachfully. The boy cringed, and even mumbled an "excuse me". Clearly, they're up to something big here.

"Okay, let's start with your problems. What to deliver and where?"

They looked at each other, and the Chief spoke for everyone:

"We need to find a Potion of Medium Healing. There is information that it can cure any disease..."

I clarified: "Almost anything. For an ordinary mortal."

"Have you delivered these before?"

"I don't. Do you need it urgently?"

Everyone looked back at the stern one, he nodded uncertainly, and I started estimating:

"Well... If we make an order now, then tomorrow evening, maybe the day after tomorrow in the morning I will bring it." I remember the pharmacist specified. "You can take a local, it's not far but the effectiveness is much less."

The skillsters... or are they skillers?... looked at each other puzzled. The protagonist cautiously asked:

"So it's not too difficult for you?"

People should value your work! So I made an indifferent face and told the plain truth: "Difficult? I almost got eaten four times in one trip yesterday. Three times by dead men and one by some kind of terrestrial lizard. It was a typical day at my job."

The team was impressed. The stern man began to explain: "You see... I have a daughter, she's sick. I can show you the papers, I have everything with me, there are tests. I did this shit just for such a chance!"

He suddenly began to shake, and the "rastaman" put his hand on the shoulder soothingly. Well, if it's that serious: "Guys, for me this potion is just another order. I know roughly where to buy it, the System will build a path, if it doesn't kill me, I'll bring it... but how about the day after tomorrow? Work piled on top of the crap. Can you stand it?"

Stern one nodded.

"Okay, there's a conversion button in the forum posting form, so type in the text, like you're writing a receipt, and click that button. "I, so-and-so, trust Delivery System Messenger Marius to purchase a Potion of Medium Healing with the allocated funds. Payment for the work upon receipt."

Everyone stared at their phones, then started whispering. Finally, it beeped, and I checked the app.

A personal quest was created

Accept

Yes/No

The amount of the reward offered gave me a bit of a shock. No, I remember that the Creators are the richest of the Systems, but I did not expect a four-figure sum. And it's not in "points", it's in "coins"!

"Well, folks, I'm gonna show myself to be a very bad businessman."

After all, I have to do business with them. Sighing sadly to myself about the lost profits (and the doubling bonus is still active!) I explained: "The potion you want costs about a hundred times less. I am very fond of money, but I still have a conscience."

After staring in amazement at the fool who had rejected nearly a million points, the team started whispering again. Weeping somewhere inside from the lost profits, I stared at the same computer. On the monitor, a typical handsome man from a typical Korean mobile wanker was banging on a mannequin somewhere in the middle of the training ground. There was no weird oriental armor on him, he would have been a waist-high goal, but there was a progress bar with the explanation "Fist Fighting, 1 level" already almost full and the reverse timer glowed above it, another twenty minutes and something would be up.

"Hey, folks? Is this the skill?"

"Yes, he's pumping second-rank fistfighting," the Protagonist replied, in the same tone I used to explain the complexities of my job.

"And how much is the second level pumped?"

"Ten hours, plus an hour from zero to one."

An hour from zero to one... feel the difference, my Junior's first rank of "trade", how much did he pump? A day?

"You don't even control it?"

"There's a spirit there, he can pump up to three on his own."

And then they started whispering again.

Is the spirit some kind of advanced dummy?

Let's estimate - one comp gives two skills of the second level per day. Cost... quickly checked with the auction, then walked along the row of tables, looking at the same game interfaces. Twenty machines at two skills are four hundred coins per day. Trying to convert to points... I froze.

That's why I'm not a Creator?! Three weeks of doing quests, knee-deep in mud, dead men and demons! That's how much they make in a day!

I should have taken what was offered! It wouldn't have cost them anything.

"Ahem. Explain, please - do you want another reward? Which one?"

I looked at their tense faces, and I began to realize something. I'm the one who gets bounced around worlds and settings, seeing demons, spirits, centaurs, and catgirls. And the guys are stupidly pumping skills with the computer, selling in the app - no wonders other than routine. I defined it correctly, a typical comedy of situations in a workplace interior.

Perhaps it's time to show off. I poked under my feet, then toward one of the computers, and stood up and took a step. The team, jerked and scolded as I teleported across the room, but I just glanced in their direction and stared at the computer: My teleportation across the room made the team twitch and swear, but I just glanced in their direction and stared at the computer:

"How do you pump up skills? And how do you sell them?"

The question was not expected, they began to look at each other.

"Let me explain - I need to provide a squad of adventurers with skills. I'm willing to buy, direct from the manufacturer. How much would you ask?"

"Level?"

"The second level is what?"

The Chief answered: "A level two is roughly analogous to a six-month training session. A three is a year of exercise and competition. The fifth rank is the maximum we have, but that's a month to pump, there's nothing right now."

I checked the auction that wasn't yet closed. The fifth rank of "sword-fighting" was worth three hundred thousand points. I'm doing the wrong thing, oh, the wrong thing!

"There are a hundred people stuck in the netherworld. I can get them out, but I can't bring them back here, they'll die, and they need to be able to do something there. I can get them out, I've already got permission. How much would it cost, directly from the manufacturer, one hundred and twenty level three skills?"

There was another look at each other, then Severe carefully clarified: "What's in it for you? What do you get?"

It was even a little embarrassing to answer.

"Uh, nothing... just.... Well... you can't just leave them there, can you?"

It looks like I'm being looked at like an idiot again. Well, I'll take solace in the fact that I'm an indispensable idiot. The team turned around and stared at me with determined looks. I braced myself for the scary part.

"So, we need..."

And immediately the Chief was interrupted:

"Potion of Beauty."

"Booster for Intellect!"

"I'll have this one healing and a bigger one! What if one doesn't work?"

"I don't know, dude, I'd like something that's interesting."

The chief sighed and added his own:

"A Potion of skill purification - is there such a thing? And of course, everything has to be of high quality. In return, we'll give you a hundred weapon skills with one combat move in each. In three days, will that work?"

I literally feel like my storyline epic quest has started to sprawl into subquests...

"Let's discuss the details."

* * *

Dur'id the Druid · Jun 12, 2023

Yeah, not many reply posts, so let me explain why i think that is.

1. No summary of what the plot is, just what it is not.

2. Bad English. Are you writing to practice your English? It shows as sentences seem to be put together badly. Not as bad as yoda-speak, but it is hard to understand without effort, and it seems like the narrator has low intelligence. Also it doesn't help that your trying to use slang and sayings a lot.

3. The left-indent isn't working when reading on the phone, only getting like 5 words per line of text. It's also a bit random from chapter to chapter.

Golden Roger5804 · Jun 26, 2023

This is strange, but I like it.

RiP · Jun 27, 2023

Chapter 19

* * *
"Do you have extra fingers?"

"Don't be cranky, you like it."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, I'm still alive, aren't I?"

Mira took a heavy breath: "You mean to stick my nose in here?"

I folded my fingers in a ring: "And say "auf."

"What for?"

"That's cute."

"And chewed-off fingers are delicious."

"You don't get any money for them."

Mira looked at me very carefully.

"You're not laughing at me, are you, par-rtner?"

Anime does not lie, catgirls are very sophisticated business partners. But she had nothing to complain about - the System took into account our agreement, and when I withdrew the first profit itself transferred the share of the adventurer. Apparently, the Delivery can get something out of it too, otherwise, they wouldn't have tried... By the way, with this transfer, I got a ten percent growth in the rating Trade Guild, not bad. But one mistake I will not make again, I will never show footage to a model! This is not right, this is wrong, all have to erase and redo because she has a wrinkle here.

Today's session was in the style of "a tired adventurer returned from a camping trip". I considered the one where Mira is sitting half-naked on the bed, cleaning her long, curved blade with a rag, to be the punching shot. "Dangerous pussy," aka "Girl with a weapon"! Although the "Mira soaking in a bucket of hot water" series of shots looked good, too. I'll post that next week when the audience warms up.

Yeah, I'm already doing Furry porn.

My conscience was embarrassed to say that it was not porn, but rather artistic erotica, but I sternly interrupted this squeak. It was clear that it was only a matter of time.

Well, what should I do now? I think it's time for a heavy sigh of regret! I already know what the diners are eating here, now it's time for some middle-class food. Inviting Mira to join me, I went down to the hall.

The interior of the inn was different from what I had seen before, for the better. There were no tablecloths on the tables, but first of all the tables themselves were square, for four visitors, and there were real chairs with backs on each side. Secondly, everything was very clean, smelled like food and grass, and the audience was on the verge of being "almost decent people". Mira, after snatching me up as soon as I was in town, dragged me here. If I understood correctly, she was bankrupt, so she wanted to sell more pictures and get some easy money.

The waiter quickly placed a plate of meat in front of me, a basket of bread, jugs, and goblets - everyone had their utensils, not just the same pot. I think if you go to a restaurant for the local nobility, you'll find better tablecloths and dishware.

A stocky stranger suddenly dropped into a vacant seat, with a long-eared elf grinning his forty-eight small teeth behind him. After looking at the table, he rubbed his hands together defiantly, and then suggested, insistently but peacefully enough: "Would a young merchant like a treat for a seasoned adventurer? We'd love to share stories about places to pick up good stuff to sell!"

He reached for the jug, but I bent down and put my hand on top of it: "I'm sorry, but I'm waiting for a girl."

The big guy smirked: "It's even better..."

Then he flew out from behind the table with his back to the front and dashed toward the door. Mira picked up the fallen chair and nodded at the stranger who had just thrown the freeloader out: "According to the contract, ten percent is mine."

I didn't know what kind of horned beastfolk the new girl belonged to. The Taurans are from "taurus," a bull, and their horns are straight. This one has something twisted on her head, like Leia the sheep hairstyle. I don't want to call the girl a sheep, considering she's a head taller than me and a half as heavy as me. But all in all... nice. Although the hooves (I bent down and looked) are natural, with horseshoes.

The future horny internet star looked up and remarked approvingly: "You're so big... In our cold mountains, you'd last a long time. At least for two pots."

"Very funny. But beautiful girls shouldn't eat a lot of fat."

The elf who picked up his flying buddy furtively pointed a finger at the girls and made a questioning face. I nodded in agreement, and he wagged the same finger at his temple. I don't deny it.

We ate in a race. The girls, as they should, diligently devoured the burdock that paid for the banquet, and I did not lag. However, I left the last two slices for them... mainly because Mira had pulled a knife from her belt for some reason. The hard life of an adventurer, bestial laws, I understand and let her eat.

"Now that we've eaten, now we can talk business. Beautiful girls, can you tell me where we can put a hundred slightly trained militia? Trained, but no combat experience?"

The question did not seem strange to the girls. They both thought about it, and Mira was the first to respond:

"I heard that three arches away, they're gathering fighters and villagers to explore the old wastelands. New magical lodes have been discovered in places where no one has lived for five hundred years."

"Half of the squad is women and teenagers."

She shrugged: "If only there were someone, and you can always add someone to the project. If there are experts, that's even better."

"What is needed for this?"

"What is my interest in this?"

I thought I assumed: "I don't have any money, I'll spend it all on them. Meet them, take them there, and make sure they don't get hurt. Offer yourself."

"So it's up to the employer to charge... None at all?"

With a sigh, I offered: "I can raise your percentage from pictures to forty."

"And thirty for the ones I bring!"

"Twenty."

"Deal. Hey, wine over here! We've got a contract to celebrate."

I looked sadly at the waiter hurrying with the bottles and agreed that the deal needed to be wrapped up. Of course, it's silly to bet on one agent, I should ask more people. By the way: "What does "three arches" mean?"

"Transition Portal in the Big City."

So it may well be on the other side of town and on another planet.

"When we get laid.?"

Coughing, I looked at the horny girl: "We haven't been introduced..."

"Larna."

Her voice was harsh, her eyes were set deep, and her hands were four-fingered. And a lot of fur. She wasn't kidding about the cold mountains. I looked at Mira, then at Larna: "Girls, we definitely need a session together."

"Are you sure..?"

Kitty stretched out in a rather inebriated voice, though when would she have had time, with one drink?

"I will. We'll shoot Larna first to try it out, but if it works for the audience, you'll both work next time."

"You so blunt..."

"I'm always like that when I'm talking about business. Where can I buy a book with recipes for potions that aren't too complicated?"

The girls frowned and looked at each other, Mira blinked, Larna tilted her head slightly, and Mira hummed: "I'll make inquiries. If there's anything, Larna will tell me. Are you sleeping here tonight?"

As if she didn't know that I had to take a room for the night.

I nodded, then stood up, said a quick goodbye, and headed for the exit.

It's two o'clock already. I rushed straight here from the Creators. Today I would like to be in time for the umruns in the desert, thanks to the personal quest is already available. I'll explain about the documents on the squad, take the water - now the only source of currency. Funny, on the one hand, I have a lot of money allocated by the Creators for purchases, on the other hand, I just spent the last cash on treats for the girls. It's not even that there's no money, it's that there's no money all the time, even when there is. So I have points, what can I buy with them in the magical Middle Ages?

Nothing.

Looking at the Merchants' Guild manager, I made an assumption: "Is there an installment plan? Now the goods on credit, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow the money?"

"There is, but first get up from "clay" at least to "rock' level, boy."

"In the evening I will have magic ingredients to sell..."

"When you have any, come and we'll buy them."

"But I have to pay the suppliers."

"No money, no goods. By the way, you've ordered stuff before, so the masters are waiting for prepayment."

And he looks so funny, the bastard!

"Is the venerable Artsevash in town right now?"

"Gone with the caravan, will not return soon."

Exactly, he knows I have nowhere to go.

Okay, there's no point in procrastinating:

"What loans and under what conditions can the Guild provide?"

The bastard's smile got even wider. Clearly, he's got his percentage!

It's a stupid situation, I have plenty of money, and I have to borrow it, under a magical oath! You see, they need achievements to take my word for it. What achievements do I have? Grandfather said that he got a master's degree when he was my age, my father in the same years served and traveled all over Europe. Yes, it's hard to compare.

I wonder what I'm going to lie to my children?

I adjusted the unusually heavy bag on my back and looked around.

Follow the trail, trying to step on the yellow stones.

I'm following.

Oddly enough, it was less profitable to buy directly from the manufacturer than through intermediaries. Constant contracts, established chains, I do not know what else, but for the same old weapon junk demanded as new, from the anvil, equipment. I had to bargain, though there was almost no time. True, wiser manager after issuing credit promises that over time, when I become a regular customer, everything will be cheaper. But I needed everything now! Well, I shouldn't think about serious things on the Delivery trail, in case they heard me, so I'll think about small things.

I have to get the Healing Potion and five other pleasant surprises. Healing is easy, the order for two vials with a decent saturation is already worked out. "Beauty Potion" - what do you mean by that? Boost for Intelligence - is it like, look for implants from the techno-setting? And where to put them?

Turn right, take a rest.

I turned and stopped. It's really hard to walk. And there's still a long way to go back.

I received two thousand coins for everything they wanted, with the condition that after I bought everything I ordered, I would return the leftovers. We wanted more Heal Potions instead of leftovers, but since no one knew how long and under what conditions they should be stored, we decided not to take the risk.

For my work, I will get a hundred and thirty third level skills. How to transfer these skills to ordinary people is not yet clear, so they gave me two pieces to try. I was in a hurry to get on the road, so as not to find out later that these skills were useless for the ümruns. I asked around - the Guild promises a lot of bonuses for skills, but only adventurers get them. Very profitable goods, but do not exchange for platinum and gems that can then save lives?

No one knows about the possibility of erasing the skill list either. In theory, it can be done by a cool god or demon, and in both cases, it's considered a curse. Eh, everywhere you turn, it's all bummers and tensions. I want to go home, go to the attic, pump up my hundredth character or make a 24-hour stream. Not this.

From the circle of stones, they were already waving, and not in my direction. I turned the scanner around and found two dots a kilometer away from me, and quickly, in a few jumps, made my way to the menhirs.

"Hello, folks. How's it going?"

This time they were as happy to see me as they had been the last time. But I did not go into the center anyway, stopping near the edge and placing my bag on a convenient boulder:

"Today with gifts. Professor, where are you?"

The man in charge was already standing nearby.

"It's good to see you, Marius."

"Me too. Take it."

From my bag, I first pulled out a bundle of a dozen spears I'd bought an hour ago. Then two battered halberds. Then five leather breastplates. Then two packs of water, a box of chocolates. Nearby someone commented in a low voice: "Magic Bag."

People agreed.

The last thing I pulled out was two rolls of "rags for wiping". Junior had found it for me, at a ridiculous price, when I remembered the rags wrapped around their heads. White, lots of it, enough to cover the head and shoulders from the sun.

"Marius, as you said, we gathered the letters! Here are the addresses, a line each. Will you take it to them? They're worried."

I took a few pieces of notebook handed to me by the Professor, written in small, fine handwriting. Not the best material for notes, but who carries around notebooks nowadays, and the kind that you'd consider it as your extension even when you're dead? It's a miracle there are at least these left.

"Tell me, Marius, there's something wrong with us, isn't there?"

I hoped that question would not come up. With a sigh, I agreed: "Yes, there is something wrong with you. You are caught in a strong surge of unreality, and the old world is rejecting you. You can't go into it, but you can find another one. You're somewhere in between now."

"And you?"

"I have an edge-walking ability. There are structures that take advantage of people like me."

There was an almost dead silence. People looked at us almost without moving, without speaking. Maybe it was the heat, or maybe it was...

"And what will happen to us?"

"That's what I wanted to talk about. Is everybody here? Is everything quiet?"

The people unfroze, and they told me all the news. No one's been killed, just a few small demons gnawing on their legs, but all they have to do is lick the dewy rock and it'll be healed by noon. No energy left in this heat, everyone's walking around like a zombie, only the Prof and two or three other lively fellows keep people from getting too relaxed and falling prey to the demons.

"Did you collect water?"

This time I was handed as much as fifty milliliters. After checking the saturation with the scanner, I put the goods in the pocket of my bag.

"So, I can offer you this - I bring you things that will help you learn the skills of bladed weapons."

"Why not a firearm?"

"Because I only have access to the magic worlds, and a spear is cheaper than a machine gun."

Everyone began to babble, exchanging thoughts. Waiting for the noise to die down, I ran a series of experiments. The skills from the phone stubbornly did not want to be transferred to those standing around, not copied onto the phones. The System offered no options, not even for a fee. I looked at the sun, slipping noticeably to the horizon, and summed it up:

"I'll deal with this issue, but I'll just have to work a little bit more. That's where your water comes in handy, I don't have much of my own money."

Everyone nodded, and I continued:

"I'll bring the skills, they learn instantly, it only takes a little waving of the weapon for the body to "remember"."

About this told me the chief creator, his name is Oleg and he constantly improves the "sword and shield", so this is firsthand info.

"I can't say for sure yet, but it seems there are places that take inexperienced, but willing to work."

"And if we don't want to?"

"You can stay here, I'm not forcing anyone to. You'll be able to live practically forever, and the big demons won't come into the circle, but you'll be able to fight off the little ones. I saw a girl who lived in a circle just like this, maybe a little smaller, for a few centuries."

The arguing man fell silent, and the people began to discuss again. It was like a tribal council, a Bedouin tribe-some of the cloth had already been stripped, some had made cloaks, and the men were leaning on the spears I had brought. Finally, there was an imminent question from one of the women:

"What's your interest?"

Indeed: "Nothing, if you look at it that way."

"That makes you look like an angel from heaven! Somehow I imagined them differently!"

I sighed: "I actually joined the messengers by accident; at first I thought I was going to a simple delivery company. And now, look at me, I'm wandering in other worlds."

It sounded very familiar for some reason, but before I could remember, a clever thought occurred to me:

"By the way, don't expect an answer. It may well be that I do not come from the same world as you."

This surprised the people, but there was no time to discuss it: "So get ready for the journey; how exactly I don't know yet, but I'll try to get you out. Try to gather more dew, it's our only asset right now."

Besides, I have a plan for it. Even two plans.

"As soon as you collect it, make an order in my name again. Does the phone work? Okay. All right, bye, the road's calling."

No one rushed me this time, but I tried to walk faster myself, jumping now and then so I wouldn't hurt my feet in the twilight. The demons and other scum scattered about, as if they, too, were working from nine to five, and even the wind was drying me rather than frying me. Already out under the green of the magical world, I suddenly got a message:

Boss, I finished my shift. Should I take another slot?

I looked at my watch... I'm going to be the good boss today.

Go home.

On second thought, I added:

I'm working all night tonight, have dinner and rest.

Got it, Boss.

It's good to be a dummy, you look at the app and do as you're told. No metaphysical questions, order taken - order delivered. And then you eat and go to sleep.

How can you not understand that you are dead? If you're dead, that's it - there's nothing to understand! Hmm, but if there is an external medium, for example, a print on this very, unreality, and a backup copy is run from it... Which can run not even in our world - a justification for isekai. The copy is clear, it just didn't have time to record the moment of death. But it implies... well, a system for producing copies, for example. Proven, stable, and therefore maintained by someone. There are even points of accumulation of incorrectly loaded copies - menhir circles. And Truck-kun as an employee of the unknown "Incarnation System". It's probably more complicated than that, though.

Okay, let's recap the day. Met with the Skillers, everything is normal there and there is a possibilities. Met with umruns, they do not panic and in general, are ready to do what I say. On the downside - a loan from the Guild, on the plus side - the Water of Life, which I already know how to spend. And so on, little things.

"Lad, they're waiting for you up there."

The innkeeper smirked, but I wasn't paying attention. Of course, they are. If Larna had brought information about the magic books... where else would they get the money for that?!

"Hi, sorry I got late."

Sheepgirl let me into the room and closed the door.

"So, did you find a bookseller? Just make it quick."

"Are you in a hurry?"

I turned around sharply. Larna smiled wryly, and moved the bench to the door, cutting off escape routes. She began unbuttoning her jacket.

Geez, I'm so tired.

Sa-ve me...

Hm.

Anyway, let's rock.

I can handle it myself.
* * *

RiP · Jun 27, 2023

Chapter 20

* * *

"What are you thinking about, merchant?"

I paused in my reflection and shared with my interlocutor: "About the difference between demons and gods."

He snorted: "That if you say 'nothing', the gods will punish you. And the demons will laugh and agree."

At the Mages' Guild, an old wizard in the obligatory cap and gown sat at the reception desk, no different from the pensioners at the gatehouses in my world. He was just as bored and just as eager to share his wisdom:

"I think of it this way: if it doesn't touch you and can give you something useful, it's a god. If it doesn't touch you and doesn't pay attention, it's a spirit. And if it tries to devour or harm you, it's definitely a demon."

It sounded logical.

The young sorceress, who was sitting aside, thought something unpleasant in our direction and waved her magic wand over my phone with increased concentration. There was a busy process of dragging a skill from a virtual to a more assimilable form.

The standard way to study in this setting was with a magic book or scroll. I had no money for the material, and I refused to take a Guild order with payment in the form of magic paper because the version discounted to me through the magic crystal said: "difficulty level "h", which probably means "highest", or even worse. So I paid with what I had - there were "shield + sword" and "spear" of the third level with one technique on each, so "swordsman" I offered. The head of the Guild was not impressed with the fee but one of his students agreed, which has half an hour sniffling and cursing everything in the world, trying not to show it. In fact, it wasn't even the skill that tempted her, but the opportunity to practice. Such orders do not often pass through minor mages of minor guilds, and the skill "scrolls" should be pumped.

"Done!"

The first thing I did was to grab my phone, as it was a bit uncomfortable without it, and then I scanned the scroll I had been presented.

Skill Scroll - third rank lance man (Technique Precision Strike 1st level)

Judging by the footnote in the phone, the scroll itself was studied with a simple "Study" command, for some reason in Latin.

"Just say it out loud and that's it?"

"Yes."

Confirm the fulfillment of the contract.

Yes/no

I agreed, and the sorceress smirked as she saw the guild's orb flashing. No, it's a hundred percent techno barbarians, not magic punk! The thing connected to the phone as soon as I walked into the Guild!

"Just a moment, miss."

The magician, who was already on her way out, turned around: "What, you want to pay extra for a good job?"

I shook my head: "No, I'm going to take money from you. Or something of equal value."

And before I was incinerated on the spot, I added: "How much does creating scrolls increase your rank? I'd be willing to help... if I had my own interest."

The mage frowned at me, and I opened the tab with the sign of the Guild of Merchants and hinted. I was not just babbling, but having a business conversation.

At night, during the respite, so to speak, we discussed all sorts of interesting topics. That is, we chatted about adventurous matters like looting dragon treasure chests and freeing kidnapped princesses (or princes). And at the same time, Larnochka clarified one subtle issue - about spells, skills, and techniques. You have to train them if you want to grow in rank. And I need the scrolls because it's too expensive to convert through the usual Delivery. Only system users can learn through apps, and the rest need scrolls, databases, and other tangibles.

"If you need to develop the skill 'making magic scrolls', I have a suggestion."

The mage nodded: "Let's assume. How many more scrolls do you want, two, three?"

"One hundred and thirty."

The wizards looked at each other, and I finished: "I will provide the skills, the materials are yours."

The old man stretched out thoughtfully: "I don't see you, young man, with the platinum marks of a grandmaster of the Trade. Where did the skills come from in such an amount?"

"From the Creators."

I pointed my finger upward, looking at them solemnly and sadly. It worked, and the old mage brooded: "That's why the gods are bothering you. Clean skills?"

"Exactly the same as the respected sorceress just transferred. It's all right, isn't it?"

She nodded.

The bottleneck was still the contract. A hundred skills, and with a technique each. That's a lot of value. Big enough to fry me on the spot and flee to another country. To prevent this from happening I need to entice the doer with something of commensurate value, and since I have no money, I can only offer a skill increase for the mage by a level, or even two.

But I stood anyway, preparing to move my toe an inch to the side, where I cast a spot of teleportation with an exit to the street once a minute.

The sorceress tapped her wand thoughtfully on her palm: "Deal. But the materials for the scroll are yours, there isn't that much in the tower right now."

"Okay. But all the skills have to be transferred in a day, the customers are waiting for them."

"It is possible. But then elixirs and power crystals are needed..."

"You pay for all the preparation, I'll just bring the paper."

The magician thought again, and I once again renewed the teleport.

I learned from Larna that there are only three wizards in town who can create a scroll. The town is not small, but there is no full-fledged school here, the wizards-adventurers are mostly low-ranked. And the city enchanters are constantly busy without my scrolls. There is not much choice, so to demand money for the possibility of pumping will not work, I am too interested in the urgent execution of the order.

"Deal."

"Then let's make a preliminary contract according to all the rules, with a copy to each side and involving a respected master as a witness. And I also need a few potions, not quite standard. What would you advise your partner to do?"

The contract was concluded in the standard way, on the guild's artifact. The phone was accepted again without any questions, a copy was issued electronically (another tab opened in the Delivery app), and then I said goodbye to the magician and the grandfather watchman... Or is that the Guild's chief wizard? In the story, he's supposed to be a retired mage of unimaginable power. And a lecher, which I didn't notice. Maybe he's only like that with girls.

So, a new day has come, what's in my favor? A skill scroll that can be used on someone. Although it's not clear how it will work if the person doesn't have a skill slot. Larna can look up the ingredient book for me... I smiled again quite a bit. It's nice when a girl is so energetic, and, importantly, strong in body. Because too slim girlfriend can start wheezing and choking not from passion. Yeah. I don't want to remember. Anyway, we fought all night for the right to be on top. If I understand correctly, the adventuress had a sad experience with being overly quick to leave her suitors and was not going to risk... Oh, such shapes, such energy, and persistence!

Um... So, where was I? On the plus side, I have a bottle of water. I should look for a better price because I need to buy something for active protection, I can't just borrow it from the creators. And I guess I'll have to charge my backup card. I'll have Junior buy fifty machetes and axes and arm some of the Umruns. I also need to find information about those circles, someone made them, so what's the purpose? Maybe leave some there and set up a "water farm"?

I have three healing potions in my bag. I ordered two, but the apothecary offered to make another one of the same ingredients for a small fee. Yes, I cheated my partners and took one of the potions for myself at their expense. Who knows how it will turn out, but the two that I promised, I will drop them by tonight... or until tomorrow, there is time, isn't there?

Running around the city took me less than an hour. The map displayed the best routes so that at some point I even forgot that I was not at work, and began a conversation with the artifactor with the usual "Hello, I'm from the Delivery". After the final conversation with the adventurer's registrar, I said goodbye to the rest of the cash, looked at the noon sun, and, after guessing my options, opened the auction.

Material for creating skill scrolls.

It took me a long time to play with the sliders, and I read all the notes carefully. I was offered pickup from the edge of the universe, or an item was offered for sale before I was born, or someone demanded that "you kill a dragon, and we'll take the scrolls out of the lair for you". At last, a few lots filtered out, and I stared at a previously unseen marking: Seller in the Hunt Territory.

Like selling loot? Are hunters some kind of inter-world adventurers? The price, by the way, is not in coins or points, but in the common currency. Which is generally a plus, because I have so much, but why would the System folk at the auction sell something for rubles?

"Watch out!"

I was in the middle of a carriage with four centaurs in it, and I teleported to the side. And the tailed ones were clearly in the suit. it's bells and whistles, everywhere, bells and whistles. Oh, man, I'm out of my mind. I was going to... Oh, yes, I was thinking of something expensive and easy to keep, and now I'll have a hundred skill scrolls, and I don't care if it's a skill, but it'll have some gimmicks, too. And that's very cool by local standards because from the scroll you learn the proper execution of a technique in any situation. Years of saving on training, it's worth the risk. It's a good idea to buy up skills from the creators you know, and materials from the hunters, make scrolls here and then sell them.

Everyone benefits, and everyone profits, but when to do it? I feel that time is short and I have to hurry. I don't know how I get this feeling, but I'm sure of it. When is there time to do business if everything is on the run, hurry up, hurry up? And you don't know what to grab first, so you won't regret it later. I'm not used to it, my dad likes it: three subscribers on the line, all soapy, sleeping two hours a day, eyes on fire. He'd get the local Guilds in his fist in a month. In the meantime, Mammy would be building the local Duke, or whatever he is, with everyone's full consent. But they're not here, and I'm afraid. I don't want to be late and miss out on something important. I'm worried.

Hey, Universe, how about a little miracle? I don't ask for much, is it enough to save the girl and get the Umruns out? I'm willing to pay right now without haggling! I'll even reconcile with my daddy, I swear!

A halfling with a basket on his shoulder walked by and burped noisily. Apparently, that's all reality had to offer. All by myself, all by myself.

Okay, that's exactly what I thought.

Beep.

So am I lucky?

A System Quest is available - help a fellow courier!

No, unfortunately. I was signed up for a rescue mission.

I didn't waste any of the ring's charges, so I walked, and the quest path started almost immediately from the city gate. I thought about my means of transportation as I made my way, kicking the garbage underfoot melancholically. In the Merchant's Guild, each rank required its own "achieves," such as "bronze" must provide a wagon or pack animal. I was two ranks away from that, but I had to think about how to skip it. Maybe I should get a sapient helper. A centaur, for instance. But could he follow me through the unreal? I'd rather have an unintelligent one, but there's not much choice, and I don't like horses.

Follow from the black stone to the red stone.

The horse, as any sapient person knows, is a high-risk transportation unit. It traumatizes the body, traumatizes the psyche, and kills all illusions about the kindness of animals. Maybe that's why I started eating so that they would break under me!

Yes, childhood trauma. Yes, you're definitely going to learn that.

Look, I'm good at it! Yes, Mother, I've already realized that I'm a loser. Unlike you, I'm not afraid of horses and they're always up to something. The computer is much better. It stands there, buzzing, not trying to find anything under your clothes.

However, my father also taught me, You must overcome your fear!

And I found a cure, with a guarantee, but when I started chasing the cattle that bit me with a shovel, I was forbidden to go to the racetrack. Hey, it works, no more fear! Two months with a psychologist? It was worth it!

We don't need the horses, we'll run on our own.

Enter a dry forest, follow the trail without stepping on strangers' footprints

All the footprints here are made by strangers. Or not?

Indeed, two hundred meters later, I noticed a clear imprint of a familiar footprint, put my foot next to it, and compared it. Apparently, in the local unknown paths, footprints can appear without your participation. On their own. All right, I'll keep that in mind.

The quest turned out to be intricate, the trail wiggling so that I began to suspect that it was hearing the System's orders and trying to hide. At least twice I passed through familiar places, like a plane trying to land in a strong wind, and then the description of the quest changed the font and told me directly that I had to use the teleport. By the way, no one said anything about compensation for the spent charges.

Is this the use of employees' personal vehicles for the benefit of the office?!

On the other hand, this reward plus the doubling and I'll redeem that set thing... The main thing is to have enough charges.

Two hours later, cursing everything in the world and with the ring almost discharged, I stopped at the edge of... earth. There was only a chasm below, with fog swirling below, emitting slow, flying tendrils from time to time. So, where the trail had led me, rocks were hanging in the air, swaying slightly, and a perceptibly visible stream was rising past them from below.

Objective: Your new friend is caught in a timeless power trap. Extract him from the force trap!

I looked around. I tried a boulder hanging a meter off the ground. Okay, we're on a jumper quest here. Charges... Forty-six in the ring. Spent a lot of time at the Guild while I was nervous. So I have to go through a spiral of unstable rocks, like in a Japanese show. And the target, apparently, is that steady cocoon of something smoothly spinning in the very center of the stream. The only one rising out of the fog with a steady, transparent tentacle. Actually, it was two hundred meters in a straight line to this "spindle," even more, and there were no steps or a platform next to it. A cliff, fog at the bottom, rocks floating up, swaying, and this very "power trap." Well, judging by the relatively small reward for the quest, nothing particularly difficult here, must cope. Once again, there are stones in the chain that are massive enough not to turn under my weight at once, but they are in different places. There, in the cocoon, is my colleague, he somehow got there, so this path can be used.

Wait, what am I supposed to do when I get there? It's about three meters from the nearest rock...

The scanner zoom showed that there was indeed a human figure hanging in the spindle, arms outstretched. Okay, I'll push him out of there somehow, and then? He'll fall, the quest fails and I get a penalty?

Sitting on the ground I began to draw a scheme of jumps. The main massive rocks are ten them, all about fifty meters away, hanging on a spiral string. I can only safely teleport back to the cliff from the three closest ones. There's another one midway, about five hundred tons, clearly a resting place... Or a trap for overconfident fools.

Worst of all, the rocks in the stream were moving slowly, and mapping on the ground to practice wouldn't work. Well, I don't have any extra teleport charges anyway. The only thing I can hope for is the ability to choose quickly the right option in the game. And my dexterity developed through years of nightly trips to the fridge.

At the last moment, I stopped and looked around. Since it's a quest, I must have all the items I need to complete it? The only things that could react with the stones were the teleporter and the bag. This one will do...

Poke poke.

The rock swayed beneath my feet, rolling over with lazy grace, and I was already putting the second pair in and out.

Poke poke.

The exit was at the very edge and I felt this one go even faster.

Poke poke.

I had to fall, wrapping my arms and legs around the surface. Don't move! Exactly choose the right boulder... Poke. Poke.

Before this one turned belly-up, I was on my feet.

Poke poke.

This one was big enough to take a second to look around. The rocks I'd disturbed were spinning slowly; using them to get out was useless now, I'd fall down.

Poke poke. Poke poke. Poke...

I turned my head frantically, then, almost at random, threw the teleport and hit it. My foot slipped, and I hung back, clinging to the scratchy rock. All this for four thousand points? Fine, I've still got the doubling.

Poke poke.

Suddenly I appeared to be one jump away from the cocoon. I was shaky on my feet, and suddenly realized that it wasn't enough for me to get the damn loser out of the cocoon, I had to drag him!

Poke poke.

I froze, and then pulled the bag off my back, flipped open the flap, and slid my hand inside. There was a twenty-kilogram boulder in the relief zone now, but I still had to hit the contents of the cocoon with it. And I had to keep my balance while doing so. Just below, a rather large boulder was floating in a stream of clearly perceptible force. Now it's going to come to the point opposite... now... here we put the entrance - poke. And the exit on it - poke.

The motion made the stone beneath me turn over slowly, unbearably slowly. Early, early! Early, damn it! Now!!!

I pulled a heavy boulder out of my bag with one tug. And with both hands, I threw it right into the cocoon with a yell. It gleamed and hissed, and the figure inside twitched and sagged through the glowing wall and into the abyss. I tapped my palm on the teleport spot, fell back onto the rock, and put my hands up, trying to catch my falling colleague.

Of course, he couldn't help but mess up. He bent down in flight and almost flew past! I don't know how I got it, but the fact that we fell off the rock almost immediately is a fact.

Poke poke.

The exit spot was on the underside of another boulder, and we, me and the guy under my arm, immediately began to fall. I poked my finger as fast as I could, my burden twitching each time, and I was sent flying again and again toward the misty sea below. Finally, I managed to put a new exit already on the side of another rock, it gave me a second of rest. Then again jump, jump, jump. The edge of the cliff was getting closer, I was out of breath; I was afraid to blink, so I wouldn't miss the one exit from the jump that would save us.

How we ended up on the edge I do not remember.

I must have been swept up by the flow rising out of the abyss. After all, it was holding the rocks back. After another jump, I was tossed over the edge, even flying a little farther than I wanted to. But all the same, this race was shaking and my back was hurting unbearably. I must have hurt it when I tried to grab that... what was he doing there, the bastard!

As I pushed the loser away, I cursed hoarsely.

"Early, too early."

He's still not happy!

"Man, the System sent me. Don't thank me."

The sky here is beautiful. It's the color of zucchini caviar. With a moldy appearance.

I rolled over with a wheeze, found my phone in my pocket, and pointed it at my "booty".

.... Delivery Systems, 37 lv.

The title was hidden. I didn't know there was such an option. But that's the highest system-level I've seen so far.

Teleport Ring

Charges - 0/200

I think I only jumped a few times, where did the forty charges gone?

I looked at my colleague again. He was lying there, breathing heavily, but already trying to get up. What do you call him, the Old-timer? The Grey? It fits, he even has silvery eyebrows. A side effect of being in the flow of this stuff?

"How did you get there?"

He coughed, then reached into his mouth, dug around in his fingers for a long time, pulled out a folded bag tied with string, and unwrapped it. A ring suddenly appeared in the bag, Grey quickly put it on his finger and listened.

We stood up at the same time.

Judging by the description, I completed the quest. The reward dripped, I checked my balance, and quickly, before Delivery swindled my precious points away, I paid for the auction of the item in question. Well, now there's something.

"So be good. I owe you".

"I've already been pa..."

He poked his finger under his feet with a familiar gesture, but there was no exit spot. He stepped and disappeared. Apparently, the artifact was at a higher level than mine. Did you get it off the raid boss? Well, if I live to level thirtieth, I'll be just as good at it myself.

I turned around and looked at the rocks spinning in different directions, at the strands of mist rising from the abyss. I wish they would tell me what it was. He was off at the most interesting moment!

The way back turned out to be three times shorter. Apparently, so I would not be bored, this time the Internet turned on almost immediately, although the news was caught from different worlds. I hope so because it can't all be happening in mine, can it? Well, at least not at the same time.

"Ah, you bastard! You did it on purpose, didn't you?!"

"Hello! Have a nice day!"

I forgot there were no more charges. I had to run away from the angry road worker. However, the rest of his crew only laughed after us.

Well, it's getting late, it's time to go home. I'll take the cure tomorrow. I'd better go to the seventh hall, in case my purchase has already been delivered?

Of course, it was not without surprises.

"Hi. It turns out we are from the same world and even from the same room."

The gray-haired man, who was receiving the cloak and bag from the storekeeper, glanced briefly in my direction:

"What do you want for your help?"

"That's okay, I already got the bounty. Did it come?"

The storekeeper, waving his invariable reader, ducked into the depths of the warehouse.

"I don't like to be in debt."

Hmm... And this is an experienced deliveryman.

"I'm looking for information about the Hunt."

The gray-haired man became visibly gloomy: "The best summary - don't mess with it!"

"But..."

Bleep.

Boss, I got a box of strawberries here. Do we want them or should I sell them?

With a satisfied chuckle, I explained to my colleague: "My personal slave earned me some goodies again. Well, I won't punish him."

"Slave?"

Strawberries are good but buy bread too.

The storekeeper put the box on the counter, and I checked the contents: "Oh, I have a lot of slaves! Delivery is something special in this aspect."

Indeed, if you think about it - more than a hundred collect the water of life... The mood jumped up. No, seriously - perfect night, then successfully negotiated all the orders, then got this one out, finally bought a glove. And in the evening, a box of strawberries as a reward for the effort! That's good!

For some reason, the Girl came to mind. She would surely appreciate how great it is, strawberries in the evening of a hard day!

"Since you're throwing advice around - what could a girl like who's been sitting in a circle of stones for several trees? I mean, several hundred years?"

The gray-haired man, clearly unhappy that I was neglecting his desire to repay, grimly nodded:

"Not an advisor here, think it yourself."

So it's all right, so what. I'll figure it out myself, and I'll pull it out myself!

I paid with the rest of my points to recharge the rings and headed home. Actually, that's not true about accomplishing everything I'd set out to do. The scariest and most dangerous thing was yet to come. But without a trip to Grandpa's house, my plan was in jeopardy, and in such matters, you want full guarantees. How would I get in and out of his house without getting caught?

The rest of the day passed while I was weighing my options. Finally, I opened the door to my room.

"Hi, Boss."

"Hello, Junior."

The dummy stared dumbly and devotedly. Yeah, what are you supposed to do when you get home from work? Check the homework?

"Give me the phone."

At first, though, I took a shower. My back was hurting, so I tried changing the temperature of the water, and it seemed to work. Finally, dreaming only about rest, I sat down on the bed and flipped through the reports without interest. Delivery, another one, picked up some wood for sale - the bot's life was monotonous. The tracker showed that he went through the city five times from end to end, and that was just yesterday. Then closed the slot... I frowned. A picture of a hotdog? And another one? An apartment? A bed?!

Girl?!!

In all the pics, all the poses carefully captured for the report were Tomboy!

"How could you do that?!"

"Everything's fine, Boss. She liked it. She asked for more."

"You... Geez..."

"Would you like to see more pictures of her?"

"Fuck you!"

"On my way, Boss."

"Halt! Fucking walker!"

One could only take comfort in the fact that he was, as it were, a concentrated Me.

I deleted the pictures, of course. Didn't even look at them! Well, just to make sure it wasn't something I needed... Bastard, how could he! He's going to ruin the whole plot!

Under my fierce stare, Junior fidgeted a little and stretched out quietly:

"Boss, you said yourself... I had dinner and rested."

And the bastard looks at me the way I looked at my mother during the interrogation! What is it, less than a month of adult life, and already credits, brat son, demonic intrusion... It's all kind of stressful!

Although Tomboy might have just noticed the unattended energy and not the echoes of my charm. I quickly checked the Skills tab; there was more of it in Junior than in me. Man, no excuses left! The whole scenario is messed up! Now you can't be sure of anything.

Okay, I also got some, but he's practically me, only not as perfect and clever. But he's a hard worker.

"Where are the berries?"

Ouch, okay, he rested, so he rested. He's all grown up now. Soon it will be the second week...

And after I calmed down, I opened the reader. No, if to think about it, it's not such a big deal... And there were some berries. Tomorrow I'll have to check my glove before I go. Don't mess with it? But what else could I do? Or have to drag through the infernal desert a crowd of untrained people, which is not desirable. No, a backup plan might work, but it's too much...

The strawberries suddenly ran out, and Junior immediately slipped me a new bowl. With a sigh, I admitted that it had been a good day after all. Busy, but good. Let's see what tomorrow would be like.
* * *

Golden Roger5804 · Jun 27, 2023

Don't forget to add this chapter to thread mark

RiP · Jun 27, 2023

Golden Roger5804 said:
Don't forget to add this chapter to thread mark

Thanks. And If you don't understand something, ask. There may be cultural references here. Or poor translation. And on the RR it's completed already. I forgot I was posting the story here, too.

Unique Delivery System (NO isekai/ NO Mary Sue/ NO Harem/ Comedy)

Seeker of Silence

Versed in the lewd.

Seeker of Silence

Seeker of Silence

Seeker of Silence

Seeker of Silence

Seeker of Silence

Seeker of Silence

Seeker of Silence

Seeker of Silence

Seeker of Silence

Seeker of Silence

Seeker of Silence

Seeker of Silence

Making the rounds.

Seeker of Silence

Seeker of Silence

Seeker of Silence

Failed GM

Seeker of Silence

Not too sore, are you?

Seeker of Silence

Seeker of Silence

Seeker of Silence

Know what you're doing yet?

Bananana Banananananana

Seeker of Silence

Seeker of Silence

Bananana Banananananana

Seeker of Silence

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