War Mastered (part 11)
Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2016
- Messages
- 16,066
- Likes received
- 823,725
9th Sigmarzeit 2512
Evening
I flop back onto the sofa.
"Jesus Christ how is the Empire still functioning?"
Lady Richilde checks for observers, and then flops down next to me.
"Hard work by my uncle."
"Really?"
"He is a highly capable negotiator and diplomat." She sighs. "Though habit probably plays a part. And having an elected monarch."
"The one thing worse than those people in charge of an electoral province is them being in charge of all of them. It's actually quite an eye-opener for me. My home country is a democracy, so I've spent my whole life seeing the worst excesses of democracy, and after a while you can't help but think: 'were things really so bad before we could elect our leaders?'. And now I know."
"I did not think that Graf Todbringer was so bad."
"And I respect your loyalty to your brother's soon-to-be family. Did you not see how vacant he looked? He basically let his courtiers do all the talking until I got him onto the subject of beastmen."
"That is a valid technique. Sometimes it is better not to let people know what you think."
"For a dedicated Ulrician? I'm not playing to stereotypes here, but don't they value directness and assertiveness even more than Sigmarites, who aren't exactly shy and retiring themselves?"
"He has a lot on his mind."
"Like what?"
"His heir is unwell."
I open my eyes and turn my head towards her. "He could have led with that. There's no mortal disease that I can't cure."
"No, not a.. disease. He was born with… Difficulties."
Ah. I think I can work out what she's talking about.
"Has anything I've said to you given you cause to believe that I understand circuitous speech? Do you mean that he's a mutant, or has-"
"No! No. Not that."
"-some sort of deformity?"
"He has… Troubles of the mind."
"Oh."
"Are you unable to correct those? I was concerned that you might have tried that with Count Marius, and then he was… Much the same as he ever is. Perhaps a little more exuberant."
"All he wanted was a head. That was weird, yes, but not all that difficult."
She finally turns her head towards me, frowning. "I cannot understand how you did it."
I shrug. "The human body is made of matter. The ring can reshape matter. For mundane purposes there's nothing really special about a… Neck. I can take a piece of wood, reshape its material to match a section of his neck and then replace it."
"With wood?"
"It wouldn't be wood after I changed it, that's what I'm saying. In material terms it would be exactly the same as human flesh." I shrug. "In my world, our chirurgeons can remove failing organs from a person's body and replace them. It's not a completely safe procedure, but the majority of people who undergo it survive."
"Where do the organs come from?"
"People will them to medicine. The chirurgery needs to be carried out quickly, so people carry cards with them indicating that if they get injured and can't be saved they want their organs removed and used to heal the sick and injured."
"That is… Disturbing. I… Understand that it is intended as a final act of generosity… But taking parts out and putting them in someone else… I cannot help but think of necromancy or the foul deeds of Nurgle-worshippers."
"Dead organs aren't any good. And wouldn't Nurgle worshippers implant failing organs rather than healthy ones?"
"But if the person they're taken from is dead, how are the organs not dead?"
"It takes a while for the body to decay after death. Reducing the temperature extends that further. You still don't have more than a day or so..."
"But what of the mind? The brain?"
"Oh, we can't transplant those."
"No, with Count Marius-. The head was not alive, surely?"
"No, no. I left his brain in his head and created a copy for the head." I frown. That's not a great sentence, but I think that she understands. "It didn't have any… Activity. Ah, honestly, given the complexity of the human brain I doubt that I could create one. I don't know enough about how it records memories."
She lays there, giving her attention to the ceiling.
"Who is Jesus Christ?"
"Hm?"
"You said 'Jesus Christ' as an exclamation. Is that the name of the god of your people?"
"Ah. Sort of. He's the.. prophet whose teachings the main religion of my home country is based on. I'm not actually… A practitioner, I just got a bit… Frustrated."
"At least the Elder of the Moot asked for something practical."
"Yeah. I'll have to pop back and see how they get on with greenhouses. I could build them here but I didn't think it was worth it."
The Moot may be a tiny area, but we need a road built there anyway, which means that we needed to deal with him as well as the ten Elector Counts. And the Moot's existing roads are so terrible that wagoners charge extra if they're employed to travel there, so I'm not holding out much hope that they'll be able to do the work themselves.
But everyone agreed. Everyone agreed, and if this was anything to go by work will start in a year or two. Or three.
"Does the Empire just not do infrastructure projects?"
"Not on this scale. It will be a first."
"If it works. And we've still got to talk to the Tzar. Have you met him?"
"No. I thought that you had."
"Yes, I went daemon-hunting and we sort of bumped into each other, but he's been doing a lot of reforming Kislevite society and I'm not sure that he's got the cash for a major road-building program as well. And I don't know how the Ice Witches will feel about the imposition of hysh on their land, which is going to be a big issue because the Crown Princess is one and if she doesn't like it then it's not going to happen."
"I will speak to our ambassador and the ambassador of the Tzar concerning the…" She yawns, covering her mouth with her right hand. "Excuse me. Concerning how best to convince him."
"Yeah, that sounds like a plan."
I flop a little further. It was difficult getting a piece of furniture like this made, and the material it's cushioned with will need replacing well before the modern equivalent, but in the mean.. time…
"…with your clothes on?"
Whu-?
10th Sigmarzeit 2512
Morning
I blink at Aranei as-. Richilde stirs next to me and then jerks upright!
Aranei shakes her head. "If I must tolerate a human as a co-consort, you should at least do the job properly. Remove your clothes, and I will begin your instruction."
Evening
I flop back onto the sofa.
"Jesus Christ how is the Empire still functioning?"
Lady Richilde checks for observers, and then flops down next to me.
"Hard work by my uncle."
"Really?"
"He is a highly capable negotiator and diplomat." She sighs. "Though habit probably plays a part. And having an elected monarch."
"The one thing worse than those people in charge of an electoral province is them being in charge of all of them. It's actually quite an eye-opener for me. My home country is a democracy, so I've spent my whole life seeing the worst excesses of democracy, and after a while you can't help but think: 'were things really so bad before we could elect our leaders?'. And now I know."
"I did not think that Graf Todbringer was so bad."
"And I respect your loyalty to your brother's soon-to-be family. Did you not see how vacant he looked? He basically let his courtiers do all the talking until I got him onto the subject of beastmen."
"That is a valid technique. Sometimes it is better not to let people know what you think."
"For a dedicated Ulrician? I'm not playing to stereotypes here, but don't they value directness and assertiveness even more than Sigmarites, who aren't exactly shy and retiring themselves?"
"He has a lot on his mind."
"Like what?"
"His heir is unwell."
I open my eyes and turn my head towards her. "He could have led with that. There's no mortal disease that I can't cure."
"No, not a.. disease. He was born with… Difficulties."
Ah. I think I can work out what she's talking about.
"Has anything I've said to you given you cause to believe that I understand circuitous speech? Do you mean that he's a mutant, or has-"
"No! No. Not that."
"-some sort of deformity?"
"He has… Troubles of the mind."
"Oh."
"Are you unable to correct those? I was concerned that you might have tried that with Count Marius, and then he was… Much the same as he ever is. Perhaps a little more exuberant."
"All he wanted was a head. That was weird, yes, but not all that difficult."
She finally turns her head towards me, frowning. "I cannot understand how you did it."
I shrug. "The human body is made of matter. The ring can reshape matter. For mundane purposes there's nothing really special about a… Neck. I can take a piece of wood, reshape its material to match a section of his neck and then replace it."
"With wood?"
"It wouldn't be wood after I changed it, that's what I'm saying. In material terms it would be exactly the same as human flesh." I shrug. "In my world, our chirurgeons can remove failing organs from a person's body and replace them. It's not a completely safe procedure, but the majority of people who undergo it survive."
"Where do the organs come from?"
"People will them to medicine. The chirurgery needs to be carried out quickly, so people carry cards with them indicating that if they get injured and can't be saved they want their organs removed and used to heal the sick and injured."
"That is… Disturbing. I… Understand that it is intended as a final act of generosity… But taking parts out and putting them in someone else… I cannot help but think of necromancy or the foul deeds of Nurgle-worshippers."
"Dead organs aren't any good. And wouldn't Nurgle worshippers implant failing organs rather than healthy ones?"
"But if the person they're taken from is dead, how are the organs not dead?"
"It takes a while for the body to decay after death. Reducing the temperature extends that further. You still don't have more than a day or so..."
"But what of the mind? The brain?"
"Oh, we can't transplant those."
"No, with Count Marius-. The head was not alive, surely?"
"No, no. I left his brain in his head and created a copy for the head." I frown. That's not a great sentence, but I think that she understands. "It didn't have any… Activity. Ah, honestly, given the complexity of the human brain I doubt that I could create one. I don't know enough about how it records memories."
She lays there, giving her attention to the ceiling.
"Who is Jesus Christ?"
"Hm?"
"You said 'Jesus Christ' as an exclamation. Is that the name of the god of your people?"
"Ah. Sort of. He's the.. prophet whose teachings the main religion of my home country is based on. I'm not actually… A practitioner, I just got a bit… Frustrated."
"At least the Elder of the Moot asked for something practical."
"Yeah. I'll have to pop back and see how they get on with greenhouses. I could build them here but I didn't think it was worth it."
The Moot may be a tiny area, but we need a road built there anyway, which means that we needed to deal with him as well as the ten Elector Counts. And the Moot's existing roads are so terrible that wagoners charge extra if they're employed to travel there, so I'm not holding out much hope that they'll be able to do the work themselves.
But everyone agreed. Everyone agreed, and if this was anything to go by work will start in a year or two. Or three.
"Does the Empire just not do infrastructure projects?"
"Not on this scale. It will be a first."
"If it works. And we've still got to talk to the Tzar. Have you met him?"
"No. I thought that you had."
"Yes, I went daemon-hunting and we sort of bumped into each other, but he's been doing a lot of reforming Kislevite society and I'm not sure that he's got the cash for a major road-building program as well. And I don't know how the Ice Witches will feel about the imposition of hysh on their land, which is going to be a big issue because the Crown Princess is one and if she doesn't like it then it's not going to happen."
"I will speak to our ambassador and the ambassador of the Tzar concerning the…" She yawns, covering her mouth with her right hand. "Excuse me. Concerning how best to convince him."
"Yeah, that sounds like a plan."
I flop a little further. It was difficult getting a piece of furniture like this made, and the material it's cushioned with will need replacing well before the modern equivalent, but in the mean.. time…
"…with your clothes on?"
Whu-?
10th Sigmarzeit 2512
Morning
I blink at Aranei as-. Richilde stirs next to me and then jerks upright!
Aranei shakes her head. "If I must tolerate a human as a co-consort, you should at least do the job properly. Remove your clothes, and I will begin your instruction."
Last edited: