With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

[Duke Long]

She keep staring at me, then accepts that I'm serious and walks up to me, rolling her eyes.

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'keeps'

You were looking for a succubus, who was the mother of demon-vampire hybrids, and we're looking for a demon who's father was a Lord of Order?"

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'whose'?

 

[Darko]

So, the Renegade's feeling a bit suspicious of Satanus' apparent altruism over in Purgatory, eh

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Honestly, he should be.

The whole thing that he was doing seemed to be trying to improve Hell, but it doesn't exactly fit with his motives from the comics.

During the whole Reign in Hell comic he preached about hope but when he won he didn't change the fundamental nature of Hell as a place of torment. He just made it so that humans were the ones torturing themselves instead of demons.

His other actions, like making Hell less dependent on human souls, were all practical, but not necessarily good decisions.

He probably doesn't care about changing Hell so that it can go into a less evil path, but just a more efficient path.

He's less Michael from The Good Place and more Crowley from Supernatural.

 

[CTrees]

I've yet to see a single issue without a glaring grammatical error that took me right out."

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Perhaps they rely on readers to inform them when they find spelling or grammatical errors? Works better with digital publications than print, I suppose.

 

[Mr Zoat]

Correction, it should say "Jebediah" or "Shazam", not "Nabu".
"Alicorn"

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'keeps'
'whose'?

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Thank you, corrected.

Ah, 'Hot Wailord on Skitty Action', eh? Much like you and... Most any regular human woman, Renegade. Though elder Dragons on Wilson do tend to be significantly larger than ponies.

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Perhaps they rely on readers to inform them when they find spelling or grammatical errors? Works better with digital publications than print, I suppose.

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Funny guy. Let me know what you pay $12 an issue.

 

[Cuchulin]

Honestly, he should be.

The whole thing that he was doing seemed to be trying to improve Hell, but it doesn't exactly fit with his motives from the comics.

During the whole Reign in Hell comic he preached about hope but when he won he didn't change the fundamental nature of Hell as a place of torment. He just made it so that humans were the ones torturing themselves instead of demons.

His other actions, like making Hell less dependent on human souls, were all practical, but not necessarily good decisions.

He probably doesn't care about changing Hell so that it can go into a less evil path, but just a more efficient path.

He's less Michael from The Good Place and more Crowley from Supernatural.

Click to shrink...

I think you mean Crowley from Good Omens, who deals in the mass production and distribution of damnation ever so slowly sending people hell just a little bit at a time via things like massive traffic jams as well as every other frustration/inconvenience of modern life that tends to drive people berserk. He is very skilled and very, very efficient except for that one time with the Anti-Christ.

 

[Mr Zoat]

Day 18
24th March 2013
00:13 GMT -5

"H-uh…"

Sunset's description of the way this magic works was pretty accurate. If I.. squint, I can sort of see the bending streams of magic energy twisting around her but never quite touching her. There are a… Disconcerting number of screaming faces in the magic energy.

"H-uh?"

She frowns curiously. "It's… Weird."

"It's made by a demon who minored in order magic. I'd be surprised if there was anyone else in the world other than his sister who could use it if they wanted to."

"No, I mean… Some parts are more sophisticated than the others. A lot more. I'd guess they were made by different people if the trace wasn't exactly the same."

"Is the spell sophisticated enough to make more of itself? If it's made automatically..?"

"I'm not seeing anything like that. I suppose it might have had that and then turned it off."

"Or the caster might have gained an education and built upon what they had already made?"

"No, it's too… Bound together for that to have happened." She grunts frustratedly. "The only thing I can think of it that he deliberately didn't bother making the other parts as complicated."

"Do they need to be?"

"Against most people? No. They'd be bare bones in Equestria or Atlantis, but I guess they don't really need to be better in America."

I nod. "And making them too good might draw attention by itself. A magician looking over a city and seeing a weak and simple defensive spell will assume that they're looking at the work of a competent amateur."

"And they wouldn't care about that. But… Oh. So the really good stuff has to avoid being detected, but he probably isn't good enough to disguise the fact that there's something happening, so he makes sure that something is showing-."

She frowns thoughtfully.

"Plausible?"

"Maybe? There's nothing here that tells me what he was thinking when he put these together."

"Okay, so what do the two parts do?"

"The simple part has a sort of… Diffuse presence… Charm? It's basically just creating a weak magic mist throughout the building. In Equestria, some places use that like a burglar alarm, and an actual wizard can use it to do remote casting."

I nod. "Because their magic is already there, and the structure of the building supports it."

"Right. And there's a bunch of other stuff you can do with it, like making it so your books spontaneously combust if they leave that area. This is all bare minimum, I-am-actually-a-wizard-and-not-just-copying-things-out-of-a-book stuff."

"Demonic? Orderly?"

"It's too simple to really have a domain. But the other stuff is… Really fascinating. So, normally, when you create a spell you tie it to a place or an object. But-."

"But this is tied to the general space defined by the simple spell. I'm not a complete neophyte, Sunset."

"No, smartass. It's not. It's just that that area is the only thing it can affect. As far as… All of the sophisticated spells go, that's their entire universe. There is nothing else. It's so much a part of them that I don't think I could make them do something else without taking them completely apart."

"And that part has a domain?"

"Oh yeah." She shudders, and nods at the stream of the damned. "Screaming souls in torment, all the way. I'm… Not completely sure, but I think that part extends into Hell as well."

"The damned souls do rather suggest that."

Though… Are souls in purgatory really damned in the technical sense? From the way Sergeant Wu described going into the next circle in as a one-way journey-. Ah, but she didn't say whether that was because she'd have never been allowed out by the far stronger demons or because it wasn't possible to get out once she'd made that choice.

Okay, so let's… Assume that Satanus is getting souls from another circle of Hell and using those. He doesn't have any personal presence in other parts of Hell -everyone I asked seemed insulted at the idea- so he isn't gathering them himself. That leaves trade and pacts with the living. Satanus doesn't have the infrastructure in Hell to support cults -that requires a whole host of minor demons to dole out minor boons, otherwise you cheapen the appeal of the major demon- so while he might have a cult leader somewhere under a major pact who has a high cultist neophyte turnover…

Insert joke about American healthcare here.

It's far more likely that he's trading something to someone who does. Or has access to one of the other circles. But the nobility hate him, and while I doubt someone like Mammon would flat out refuse to trade with him, they would charge him well over the odds. And Mammon has more than enough worshippers to properly price up the goods and services for the mortal plane, so he couldn't take advantage of being the sole supplier.

"Grayven?"

"Hm? Oh, sorry, trying to work out what he's doing with his spells. Carry on?"

"I don't think it goes to Hell. I've done some work on detecting demon summoning rituals for the D.E.A., and it doesn't feel like they do."

"Purgatory?"

Sunset shrugs. "I don't know how different that feels."

"Mother Box, hush tube."

"Ping."

A small portal opens next to me. "Try that."

Sunset wiggles her right fore and middle fingers at it, then waves her forefinger to close it.

"Yes, that's it exactly."

So… They are coming from Purgatory? Or that system isn't the bit that draws the damned soul into it. Or is he channelling damned souls out of other parts of Hell and into his own more homely domain. Oh, I don't know.

"What is the spell actually doing?"

"Lots of things. And it's not one spell, it's a whole system. There are spells for monitoring people, spells for taking small amounts of power from everyone-."

"What would the effect be on people inside the building?"

"Ah… They'd be a bit less magically powerful, so… They'd feel a bit more tired, recover a bit more slowly from injuries and be worse at magic. Legally, it's like committing hundreds of cases of assault every day."

I smile. Good. And this is expert testimony. Simple Assault in New York has a maximum sentence of one year in prison, so if the prosecution could prove a remorseless pattern of behaviour then Satanus could be imprisoned indefinitely. But with regard to my work in Hell, that's just leverage.

Until the month is up.

"Can you tell where it's going?"

"I can tell where in the building, but I don't know what it's being used for."

"So if we want to know, then we need someone in the building."

"There's no way anything could get in that building without being detected."

"Sure, but being detected isn't necessarily going to provoke a response. And I know some creatures who are good at being overlooked."

 

[Darko]

No, I mean… Some parts are more sophisticated than the others. A lot more. I'd guess they were made by different people if the trace wasn't exactly the same."

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Maybe he was feeling tired when he made some of them.

The only thing I can think of it that he deliberately didn't bother making the other parts as complicated."

Click to shrink...

A trap.

Though… Are souls in purgatory really damned in the technical sense

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Well if you consider being away from Heaven as damnation, then yes.

Okay, so let's… Assume that Satanus is getting souls from another circle of Hell and using those. He doesn't have any personal presence in other parts of Hell -everyone I asked seemed insulted at the idea- so he isn't gathering them himself. That leaves trade and pacts with the living. Satanus doesn't have the infrastructure in Hell to support cults -that requires a whole host of minor demons to doll out minor boons, otherwise you cheapen the appeal of the major demon- so while he might have a cult leader somewhere under a major pact who has a high cultist neophyte turnover…

Insert joke about American healthcare here.

It's far more likely that he's trading something to someone who does. Or has access to one of the other circles. But the nobility hate him, and while I doubt someone like Mammon would flat out refuse to trade with him, they would charge him well over the odds. And Mammon has more than enough worshippers to properly price up the goods and services or the mortal plane, so he couldn't take advantage of being the sole supplier

Click to shrink...

I'm guessing it's Demon Jizz.

response. And I know some creatures who are good at being overlooked

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I'm guessing it's the slime demons.

 

[Breadnaught]

"Sure, but being detected isn't necessarily going to provoke a response. And I know some creatures who are good at being overlooked."

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Planning to recruit some of the Slime demons?

Like the Slime said, they can get anywhere and no one pays attention to Slime.

 

[Ngamer11]

"Can you tell where it's going?"

"I can tell where in the building, but I don't know what it's being used for."

"So if we want to know, then we need someone in the building."

"There's no way anything could get in that building without being detected."

"Sure, but being detected isn't necessarily going to provoke a response. And I know some creatures who are good at being overlooked."

Click to shrink...

Will slime demons end up being the Renegade's personal spy network? Or is this going to be a one time thing?

 

[moralrelativity]

properly price up the goods and services or the mortal plane

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or -> for ?

 

[Chojin Patriarch]

Day 18
24th March 2013
00:13 GMT -5

"H-uh…"

Sunset's description of the way this magic works was pretty accurate. If I.. squint, I can sort of see the bending streams of magic energy twisting around her but never quite touching her. There are a… Disconcerting number of screaming faces in the magic energy.

Click to shrink...

So, she's found something interesting in the spellwork, I see. You don't make a noise like that for 'well, I was expecting that.' Though the screaming faces suggests it's not entirely pleasant, much less good.

Spoiler: Commentary spoilered for length

"H-uh?"

She frowns curiously. "It's… Weird."

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'Suspiciously deceptive' weird or 'That's a novel approach' weird? Do elaborate, Sunset.

"It's made by a demon who minored in order magic. I'd be surprised if there was anyone else in the world other than his sister who could use it if they wanted to."

"No, I mean… Some parts are more sophisticated than the others. A lot more. I'd guess they were made by different people if the trace wasn't exactly the same."

Click to shrink...

Or he's a firm believer is keeping it simple when needed? Master the basics, and exercise the advanced when needed.

"Is the spell sophisticated enough to make more of itself? If it's made automatically..?"

"I'm not seeing anything like that. I suppose it might have had that and then turned it off."

Click to shrink...

Let's hope it's not a potential mystical grey goo scenario, then.

"Or the caster might have gained an education and built upon what they had already made?"

"No, it's too… Bound together for that to have happened." She grunts frustratedly. "The only thing I can think of it that he deliberately didn't bother making the other parts as complicated."

Click to shrink...

Interesting. Perhaps it's designed to keep the energy costs low.

"Do they need to be?"

"Against most people? No. They'd be bare bones in Equestria or Atlantis, but I guess they don't really need to be better in America."

Click to shrink...

Especially in an America that isn't as clued in to magic as some versions.

I nod. "And making them too good might draw attention by itself. A magician looking over a city and seeing a weak and simple defensive spell will assume that they're looking at the work of a competent amateur."

"And they wouldn't care about that. But… Oh. So the really good stuff has to avoid being detected, but he probably isn't good enough to disguise the fact that there's something happening, so he makes sure that something is showing-."

Click to shrink...

Hiding gold amongst the dross? Show them something basic and they won't bother to look closer?

She frowns thoughtfully.

"Plausible?"

"Maybe? There's nothing here that tells me what he was thinking when he put these together."

Click to shrink...

Sadly, spellwork doesn't leave itself open to programmer comments.

"Okay, so what do the two parts do?"

"The simple part has a sort of… Diffuse presence… Charm? It's basically just creating a weak magic mist throughout the building. In Equestria, some places use that like a burglar alarm, and an actual wizard can use it to do remote casting."

Click to shrink...

Building an area of effect without having to maintain an expensive spell? Clever, certainly.

I nod. "Because their magic is already there, and the structure of the building supports it."

"Right. And there's a bunch of other stuff you can do with it, like making it so your books spontaneously combust if they leave that area. This is all bare minimum, I-am-actually-a-wizard-and-not-just-copying-things-out-of-a-book stuff."

Click to shrink...

Perfect for luring in overconfident 'masters' looking to beat up on a little guy, huh?

"Demonic? Orderly?"

"It's too simple to really have a domain. But the other stuff is… Really fascinating. So, normally, when you create a spell you tie it to a place or an object. But-."

Click to shrink...

Even if that binding is merely a targetting effect, so you can drop a fireball on it.

"But this is tied to the general space defined by the simple spell. I'm not a complete neophyte, Sunset."

"No, smartass. It's not. It's just that that area is the only thing it can effect. As far as… All of the sophisticated spells go, that's their entire universe. There is nothing else. It's so much a part of them that I don't think I could make them do something else without taking them completely apart."

Click to shrink...

That's... Actually damn clever. Probably makes it very energy efficient to do what it does.

"And that part has a domain?"

"Oh yeah." She shudders, and nods at the stream of the damned. "Screaming souls in torment, all the way. I'm… Not completely sure, but I think that part extends into Hell as well."

Click to shrink...

...Or maybe another realm. One Satanus has ties to.

"The damned souls do rather suggest that."

Though… Are souls in purgatory really damned in the technical sense? From the way Sergeant Wu described going into the next circle in as a one-way journey-. Ah, but she didn't say whether that was because she'd have never been allowed out by the far stronger demons or because it wasn't possible to get out once she'd made that choice.

Click to shrink...

Oh, that's a whole cauldron of worms, in terms of theological conundrums...

Okay, so let's… Assume that Satanus is getting souls from another circle of Hell and using those. He doesn't have any personal presence in other parts of Hell -everyone I asked seemed insulted at the idea- so he isn't gathering them himself. That leaves trade and pacts with the living. Satanus doesn't have the infrastructure in Hell to support cults -that requires a whole host of minor demons to doll out minor boons, otherwise you cheapen the appeal of the major demon- so while he might have a cult leader somewhere under a major pact who has a high cultist neophyte turnover…

Click to shrink...

...Or he has a discreet, obscurely-worded clause in paperwork everyone fills out, deep in the fine print.

Insert joke about American healthcare here.

It's far more likely that he's trading something to someone who does. Or has access to one of the other circles. But the nobility hate him, and while I doubt someone like Mammon would flat out refuse to trade with him, they would charge him well over the odds. And Mammon has more than enough worshippers to properly price up the goods and services for the mortal plane, so he couldn't take advantage of being the sole supplier.

Click to shrink...

Definitely points to him using Purgatory as a power source for this stuff.

"Grayven?"

"Hm? Oh, sorry, trying to work out what he's doing with his spells. Carry on?"

Click to shrink...

Cui Bono. How does he profit from all this... Whatever he's doing.

"I don't think it goes to Hell. I've done some work on detecting demon summing rituals for the D.E.A., and it doesn't feel like they do."

"Purgatory?"

Click to shrink...

Yes, it does seem logical, doesn't it?

Sunset shrugs. "I don't know how different that feels."

"Mother Box, hush tube."

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Heh. Clever way to taste-test a particular magical signature.

"Ping."

A small portal opens next to me. "Try that."

Click to shrink...

"Not a problem, dear. Fortunately, that realm is not affected by this spell... I think."

Sunset wiggles her right fore and middle fingers at it, then waves her forefinger to close it.

"Yes, that's it exactly."

Click to shrink...

So, easily confirmed on that end. Still the question of what it does and why is it doing it?

So… They are coming from Purgatory? Or that system isn't the bit that draws the damned soul into it. Or is he channelling damned souls out of other parts of Hell and into his own more homely domain. Oh, I don't know.

"What is the spell actually doing?"

Click to shrink...

Still not enough information to know for sure.

"Lots of things. And it's not one spell, it's a whole system. There are spells for monitoring people, spells for taking small amounts of power from everyone-."

"What would the effect be on people inside the building?"

Click to shrink...

And does it qualify as a criminal level of theft? Is it willing or unwilling? Knowing or not, if the contract clause thing I suggested is really a thing...

"Ah… They'd be a bit less magically powerful, so… They'd feel a bit more tired, recover a bit more slowly from injuries and be worse at magic. Legally, it's like committing hundreds of cases of assault every day."

I smile. Good. And this is expert testimony. Simple Assault in New York has a maximum sentence of one year in prison, so if the prosecution could prove a remorseless pattern of behaviour then Satanus could be imprisoned indefinitely. But with regard to my work in Hell, that's just leverage.

Click to shrink...

Hmm... To hold over Satanus' head, or to suggest that he license the design of the spells to Hell for nefarious purposes?

Until the month is up.

"Can you tell where it's going?"

Click to shrink...

And perhaps once the job is done, you'll come looking for Mister Thornton with an arrest warrant, hmm? Or at least have a reason to investigate deeper.

"I can tell where in the building, but I don't know what it's being used for."

"So if we want to know, then we need someone in the building."

Click to shrink...

And no doubt one of the spells involved can detect the intent of visitors, to prevent spying, corporate or otherwise.

"There's no way anything could get in that building without being detected."

"Sure, but being detected isn't necessarily going to provoke a response. And I know some creatures who are good at being overlooked."

Click to shrink...

...Like, say, a class of demon you've encountered quite recently...

Well, isn't that just a damned clever way of messing with people and gaining both spiritual energy en masse and potentially staining their souls just enough that they're more likely to be headed downstairs, hmm? Especially since from the sound of it, they're not even aware of the magical effects being forced on them. What a devilish idea...

---

I suppose it might have had that and then turned it off."

Click to shrink...

Double Space there.

 

[Vanbers]

"Sure, but being detected isn't necessarily going to provoke a response. And I know some creatures who are good at being overlooked."

Click to shrink...

Time for operative Double Oh Slime to be put on the case.

He's Adhesive. James Adhesive.

 

[Darko]

Well, isn't that just a damned clever way of messing with people and gaining both spiritual energy en masse and potentially staining their souls just enough that they're more likely to be headed downstairs, hmm? Especially since from the sound of it, they're not even aware of the magical effects being forced on them. What a devilish idea

Click to shrink...

Yeah, I mean even discarding the magic in place, tabloid magazines essentially lie all the time, so it's a nice way to get them to damn themselves in a way that's unexpected.

I'm now reminded of an episode on Reaper where the Devil takes Sam to a corporate building and takes him to his base of operations there.

The place is full of demons and humans that work for him and their job is to basically get the humans upstairs in the rest of the building to damn themselves by doing stereotypical corporate things like stealing money, doing drugs, having affairs etc.

Heck, Sam, the mc, basically gets a promotion later on because his boss thought he killed a guy, even though it was an accident and the guy was trying to kill him.

 

[Mr Zoat]

or -> for ?

Click to shrink...

Double Space there.

Click to shrink...

Thank you, corrected.

 

[KharnTheBrotrayer]

I wouldn't put it past Stanatus to have him employees consent to giving away magical energy in his employment contract.

He can argue that in court for infinity years long probably.

 

[Lord Ernest]

Feels a bit strange that Grayven is focusing so much on bringing down Satanus when, to my eyes, there are other parts of hell that are more inefficient and/or equally malignant. Is it because he has an established foothold on Earth with a secret identity? Or is it precisely because he seems like the, generally, more competent of the Demon Lords?

And Happy New Year everyone!

 

[Mr Zoat]

Feels a bit strange that Grayven is focusing so much on bringing down Satanus when, to my eyes, there are other parts of hell that are more inefficient and/or equally malignant. Is it because he has an established foothold on Earth with a secret identity? Or is it precisely because he seems like the, generally, more competent of the Demon Lords?

And Happy New Year everyone!

Click to shrink...

His pact with the First isn't to bring anyone down, it's to make Hell more effective. To do that, he has to understand what the most effective part is doing differently.

 

[Duke Long]

-that requires a whole host of minor demons to doll out minor boons, otherwise you cheapen the appeal of the major demon- so while he might have a cult leader somewhere under a major pact who has a high cultist neophyte turnover…

Click to shrink...

'dole out'?

I've done some work on detecting demon summing rituals for the D.E.A., and it doesn't feel like they do."

Click to shrink...

'summoning'? Might be slang.

For some reason I really enjoy whenever there's explanation of magic in this story.

 

[Mr Zoat]

'dole out'?
'summoning'? Might be slang.

Click to shrink...

Thank you, corrected.

 

[Vaermina]

"Ah… They'd be a bit less magically powerful, so… They'd feel a bit more tired, recover a bit more slowly from injuries and be worse at magic. Legally, it's like committing hundreds of cases of assault every day."

Click to shrink...

I'd note here, that he almost certainly would have have had anyone working in a building sign a legal waiver.

Though Zoat will likely miss that.

 

[RoninSword]

I'd note here, that he almost certainly would have have had anyone working in a building sign a legal waiver.

Though Zoat will likely miss that.

Click to shrink...

I don't think a waiver can actually cover being assaulted multiple times everyday.

 

[Vaermina]

I don't think a waiver can actually cover being assaulted multiple times everyday.

Click to shrink...

*looks at various sports and product testing*

It absolutely can.

 

[Ardy]

*looks at various sports and product testing*

It absolutely can.

Click to shrink...

no, you can't. That's testing individual things over months/years to see if they do damage. Not "we know this will hurt you, suck it up."

 

[Mr Zoat]

1st October 2010
19:45 GMT -5

Artemis is looking around…

Suspiciously. She doesn't trust you.

Well, yes, if she was an idiot I wouldn't be interested in her to this degree.

"Planet Krypton? A superhero-themed restaurant?"

No, she doesn't need me to confirm the evidence of her eyes. She's asking me to explain my reasoning.

"You eat at fast food restaurants enough that it wouldn't be special, but a high-class restaurant would just make you feel out of place. This is good enough to be memorable without being overwhelming."

She looks critically at a woman wearing a Black Canary costume which Black Canary hasn't worn in years. It's not even a good copy.

"You know it's… Kinda creepy when you say stuff like that, right?"

I sigh. "I… Would you prefer it if I lied?"

"A normal person would say 'I like the food'."

"I've never eaten here before."

She flaps her right arm. "Then why aren't we somewhere you have been before?"

"Because..? I like the food?"

Good try, sport.

"Are you sure you're not a robot?"

"Yes. I check daily."

She splutters with laughter. "You know, with you I can actually believe that."

"The reviews are reasonable and… That wasn't the main consideration, like I said. How's your mother doing?"

"It… I mean, she can't walk yet. Doctor says she should be able to stand unaided in a few days, and once she starts exercising she should start walking in a week or two."

A waiter in a Flash costume with fake abdominal muscles walks over. "Do you have a reservation?"

I nod. "I put it under 'Earthworm Jim."

He checks his phone. "Ah… Yeah, you're on table seven in Wonder Woman's zone." He wiggles his eyebrows at me.

I don't react, but Artemis raises her eyebrows. "Pretty brave, wearing that costume."

"Metropolis doesn't have a 'Hooters'. Please follow me."

He leads the way across the restaurant, and I take the time to review the food and the hygiene status of the kitchen. I mean, the inspection results were good but the day I trust anyone's cleaning except my own-.

Is the day I can retire, because you'll be cured.

That nearly makes me stop and stare at the ring.

I am not a disease.

Not what I meant, sport.

The kitchen is pretty good, but the food… More effort spent on presentation than on ingredients, and their suppliers have done that American thing of shoving toxic crap into everything. About what I expected honestly, but I'm going to see if I can take her to somewhere in a civilised country next time.

Ah, optimism.

What, having high food safety standards? If both Britain and France agree on something then it's probably a good idea.

Just try your best.

Flash-waiter leaves us after nodding to Wonder Woman-waitress, who's about a foot shorter and appreciably flabbier than actual Wonder Woman, even wearing those heels. She hands us our menus.

"Anything to drink?"

Can Americans mess up milk? Yes, of course they can. Just-. Just order something and then change it.

Artemis is frowning at me. "Ah… Cola."

I fix my face in a polite smile. "Banana milkshake, please."

She nods and turns away. "I'll be back in a few."

Artemis waits until she gets half-way to the kitchens and then leans towards me. "What was that?"

"What was what?"

"You nearly went crazy over the drinks menu."

"The perils of actually knowing what goes into the food you eat and drink. I mean, cola should just be sugar, water and kola nut, but there's a whole list of things that get added and most of them aren't really designed for the human body."

"Ah… You didn't say anything when I drank cola in the base?"

"Red label or blue label?"

"What's the difference?"

"The blue label is the stuff I bought in a country with better food standards, the red label is what I made myself."

"Oh. Ah, red. Tasted pretty good. Didn't realise you were such a food-. Guy."

I shake my head. "If you'd seen the things I'd seen, you'd understand."

"It's not bad, I just-. You usually hang out in your lab, and then when we went to India to fight those snake men you told Mia to stop breaking arms because breaking their necks was more efficient."

"Yes?"

"I mean it's-. A different side of you. And…" She takes a deep breath. "How..? Serious are you?"

"Completely, about everything."

"I mean, dating me. You come across… Really… Inhuman. And creepy."

"I.. know. I'm working on it."

"'cause… When you said 'date'-."

"You thought that I was holding your mother to ransom for sexual favours." She blanches, then gives a small nod. "I wasn't. I do want to have sex with you; you are an extremely attractive young woman. But blackmailing you into it would be such a short term.. thing, I just… Don't see the point. It doesn't get me what I want."

"Which is..?"

"A long term relationship, shared interests and time together, marriage, two point four children-. Probably rounded up to three. Gradually rising to the apex of our open and secret professional lives before transcending mortality entirely and-."

Something about her facial expression makes me stop.

"'Inhuman'?"

"Started good. Not a lot of guys our age bring up marriage on the second date. Guess you… Are serious, huh?"

"Yes."

"Okay, so-. Explain the ring-thing to me."

 

[RichardWhereat]

Well, she knows he's serious? But honestly, there's no point dating someone once you realise you wouldn't want to marry them.

 

[Darko]

Artemis is looking around…

Suspiciously. She doesn't trust you.

Well, yes, if she was an idiot I wouldn't be interested in her to this degree

Click to shrink...

Real charmer.

"Are you sure you're not a robot?"

"Yes. I check daily

Click to shrink...

Given your previous scientific tests resulted in you turning into a monster, maybe you should let someone else check you out.

Is the day I can retire, because you'll be cured.

That nearly makes me stop and stare at the ring.

I am not a disease.

Not what I meant, sport

Click to shrink...

But it is more accurate than you know.

"I mean, dating me. You come across… Really… Inhuman. And creepy."

"I.. know. I'm working on it

Click to shrink...

And like the food you dislike, you're working more on your presentation rather than actually changing the underlying issues.

 

[Dragoon140]

1st October 2010
19:45 GMT -5

Artemis is looking around…

Suspiciously. She doesn't trust you.

Well, yes, if she was an idiot I wouldn't be interested in her to this degree.

"Planet Krypton? A superhero-themed restaurant?"

No, she doesn't need me to confirm the evidence of her eyes. She's asking me to explain my reasoning.

"You eat at fast food restaurants enough that it wouldn't be special, but a high-class restaurant would just make you feel out of place. This is good enough to be memorable without being overwhelming."

She looks critically at a woman wearing a Black Canary costume which Black Canary hasn't worn in years. It's not even a good copy.

"You know it's… Kinda creepy when you say stuff like that, right?"

I sigh. "I… Would you prefer it if I lied?"

"A normal person would say 'I like the food'."

"I've never eaten here before."

She flaps her right arm. "Then why aren't we somewhere you have been before?"

"Because..? I like the food?"

Good try, sport.

"Are you sure you're not a robot?"

"Yes. I check daily."

She splutters with laughter. "You know, with you I can actually believe that."

"The reviews are reasonable and… That wasn't the main consideration, like I said. How's your mother doing?"

"It… I mean, she can't walk yet. Doctor says she should be able to stand unaided in a few days, and once she starts exercising she should start walking in a week or two."

A waiter in a Flash costume with fake abdominal muscles walks over. "Do you have a reservation?"

I nod. "I put it under 'Earthworm Jim."

He checks his phone. "Ah… Yeah, you're on table seven in Wonder Woman's zone." He wiggles his eyebrows at me.

I don't react, but Artemis raises her eyebrows. "Pretty brave, wearing that costume."

"Metropolis doesn't have a 'Hooters'. Please follow me."

He leads the way across the restaurant, and I take the time to review the food and the hygiene status of the kitchen. I mean, the inspection results were good but the day I trust anyone's cleaning except my own-.

Is the day I can retire, because you'll be cured.

That nearly makes me stop and stare at the ring.

I am not a disease.

Not what I meant, sport.

The kitchen is pretty good, but the food… More effort spent on presentation than on ingredients, and their suppliers have done that American thing of shoving toxic crap into everything. About what I expected honestly, but I'm going to see if I can take her to somewhere in a civilised country next time.

Ah, optimism.

What, having high food safety standards? If both Britain and France agree on something then it's probably a good idea.

Just try your best.

Flash-waiter leaves us after nodding to Wonder Woman-waitress, who's about a foot shorter and appreciably flabbier than actual Wonder Woman, even wearing those heels. She hands us our menus.

"Anything to drink?"

Can Americans mess up milk? Yes, of course they can. Just-. Just order something and then change it.

Artemis is frowning at me. "Ah… Cola."

I fix my face in a polite smile. "Banana milkshake, please."

She nods and turns away. "I'll be back in a few."

Artemis waits until she gets half-way to the kitchens and then leans towards me. "What was that?"

"What was what?"

"You nearly went crazy over the drinks menu."

"The perils of actually knowing what goes into the food you eat and drink. I mean, cola should just be sugar, water and kola nut, but there's a whole list of things that get added and most of them aren't really designed for the human body."

"Ah… You didn't say anything when I drank cola in the base?"

"Red label or blue label?"

"What's the difference?"

"The blue label is the stuff I bought in a country with better food standards, the red label is what I made myself."

"Oh. Ah, red. Tasted pretty good. Didn't realise you were such a food-. Guy."

I shake my head. "If you'd seen the things I'd seen, you'd understand."

"It's not bad, I just-. You usually hang out in your lab, and then when we went to India to fight those snake men you told Mia to stop breaking arms because breaking their necks was more efficient."

"Yes?"

"I mean it's-. A different side of you. And…" She takes a deep breath. "How..? Serious are you?"

"Completely, about everything."

"I mean, dating me. You come across… Really… Inhuman. And creepy."

"I.. know. I'm working on it."

"'cause… When you said 'date'-."

"You thought that I was holding your mother to ransom for sexual favours." She blanches, then gives a small nod. "I wasn't. I do want to have sex with you; you are an extremely attractive young woman. But blackmailing you into it would be such a short term.. thing, I just… Don't see the point. It doesn't get me what I want."

"Which is..?"

"A long term relationship, shared interests and time together, marriage, two point four children-. Probably rounded up to three. Gradually rising to the apex of our open and secret professional lives before transcending mortality entirely and-."

Something about her facial expression makes me stop.

"'Inhuman'?"

"Started good. Not a lot of guys our age bring up marriage on the second date. Guess you… Are serious, huh?"

"Yes."

"Okay, so-. Explain the ring-thing to me."

Click to shrink...

I swear, my fascination with this timeline grows stronger with every update to it. There's something about this... morally warped/devoid perspective and his interactions that absolutely captivates me to read. In some ways, it feels like him but also just far enough off from what would be morally acceptable. And the ring's commentary is a delight XD

 

[Darko]

Well, she knows he's serious? But honestly, there's no point dating someone once you realise you wouldn't want to marry them.

Click to shrink...

I disagree.

Lots of people date and have no intention of marrying the other person.

They may just do it because they enjoy the others company, but aren't interested in such a commitment.

They may find the other person interesting and fun, but they may not necessarily have the characteristics you're looking for in a partner that you're most likely going to be living with.

 

[Someguy Somewhere]

It's that 'watching a car accident' fixation. You know it's bad, you know how it ends, but can't turn away from the spectacle of it all.

 

[Z000]

so what this Paul deal again ?