Razorfloss
I trust you know where the happy button is?
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2019
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Grayven you are not on apocalypse anymore, stop using apocalypse dating customs.
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Good dentistry, Soft Toilet Paper, and Hand Sanitiser. Apparently.
Clearly you're a mad scientist, just working on some mad scientist things.I do miss how on SV we could rate things a funny.
Also, it must disturb my neighbors terribly how I break out into laughter at 2 am every night.
Oh, boy. I foresee some bucking back and forth as they sort out temperaments. Still, They could come out of this best friends...Afternoon
Equestria
Lightning Dust looks askance at Tempest Shadow's horn stump.
"You can cast spells with that?"
<Facehoof> Dammit, filly. Do you have no filter between brain and mouth?Tempest doesn't seem much moved by what must be a pretty big insult. I guess she's either used to it, or thinks that someone she's going to be fighting beside deserves to know.
"No. I just fire energy blasts."
"Like, at one third power..? 'Cause you've got a third of a horn?"
Oooh, tingly. Good response, too.Tempest's eyes narrow slightly and her horn crackles a little more.
"You tell me."
Lightning blasts from Tempest's horn, striking Dust and making her convulse-. For a fraction of a second. Then she spreads her wings and water vapour precipitates out of the air, forming a small and very black cloud sheath around them which crackles with electricity. Dust looks at them nervously for a moment, then grins confidently.
"That's my secret, Cap. I'm always angry..." I guess that explains her mane styling, then.Tempest looks at her curiously, then nods. "Impressive reactions."
"Impressive lightning blast. How'd you build up so fast?"
"I'm always built up."
Ooof, looks like she needs a little practice handling thunderheads."Oh yeah?" Dust saunters closer. "How's about-?" A small discharge from her doom clouds hits her in the left ear. "Ow."
Tempest raises her eyebrows.
"Let me just deal with this real quick."
"Dangit, I just got my mane settled down!"She flies over to a window, kicks it open and with a flap throws the clouds outside before flying back down.
"Owowowowow!"
At least he's sensible enough not to get in-between them."How's about-?" She blinks, but Tempest and Buckface have already caught up with me at the other end of the corridor. "Hey!"
Buckface turns his head back towards her.
"Get a bloady move ohn."
Ah, Fan-games...Dust grimaces, then with one powerful flap shoots over to join us. Looks like Super Lesbian Horse RPG is back on. Best of luck to her. I return my attention to the door and knock lightly.
How homey. And how telling that Luna's busy at work, while Celestia relaxes..."Enter."
I push the door open and trot inside, the other three following me. Luna has several sheets of paper floating in her thaumokinetic grip and a book on guard procedures in front of her. Celestia is laying on a chaise longue, sipping tea from a cup. She looks at my hirelings curiously while Luna sets her paperwork down to greet us with a smile.
Well, time for Celestia to see just how bad her guards are at being anything other than eye-candy and living armour stands."Grayven. We understand that you have retained the service of these trainers to improve Our guard. How goes it?"
"Not great. Tempest?"
Yes, because they're worst at it. Better to cover your weaknesses and let your talent handle your strengths.Tempest steps forward. "The Royal Guard are in reasonable physical condition, but there training and equipment are badly outdated. Ponies have a bad reputation for focusing on their special talents to the exclusion of other skills and whoever came up with the Guard's procedure manual did exactly that."
"Thou wouldst rather that they focus on what they are worst at?"
Expert words. I doubt Celestia is enjoying hearing them, given the implications that they want her 'little ponies' to be able to fight."When training an army, you need everyone to have standard skills. You need everyone to know what the soldiers next to them can do, even if they don't know them personally. If you don't have standard spells for unicorns, the commander can't know what the magic users under their command can do. If pegasi aren't taught standard weather manipulation techniques you can end up making a plan requiring dense fog only to discover than no one knows how to make it or use it. And as for earth ponies-."
"Theys a right buncha pantywastars a'right."
Honestly, that's not a good measure. They don't know how to enhance themselves. Yet.Tempest keeps her face carefully blank, but she does glance at Buckface in a way which indicates that she's decidedly unimpressed.
"They cannae even break wee little stones wi' their hooves. And I tried wrasslin' one o' them an' his leg snapped like a tweg."
Besides, don't they have some measure of magical healing? Ponies with talents leaning that way, if nothing else?Celestia sits up, looking slightly concerned.
"You broke his leg?"
Tempest takes a half-step forward. "Princess, injuries during training happen. If anything, the fact that.. 'Buckface' could injure them so easily is part of the problem."
Heh, already doing the wordless conversations.Luna looks at me. "'Buckface'?"
I close my eyes, shake my head and raise my right forehoof.
It'll just be a matter of how many quit, then... Some almost certainly didn't sign up for actual work."I see. And what remedy to you suggest?"
"My training techniques are a bit more realistic than running into sandbags, princess. I'll bring them up to scratch."
Yowch. I read that in her wiki entry, but seeing it? Scary. And her friends' reactions? gah.Luna nods. "We will assign you a platoon to train, that you may show Us the fruits of your labour. Grayven tells us that you desire our aid in restoring your horn." Tempest stiffens. "How didst thou receive so grevious an injury?"
"I ran into a cave after a ball. The cave had an ursa in it."
She sounds impressed...Luna blinks. "Thou wert attacked by an ursa?"
"Yes, princess."
And Luna's now a lot more concerned for her, I suspect. That kind of experience would leave scars running deep. And not just on the body."At what age?"
"I was six, princess." She hesitates for a moment. "Princess, can you fix it?"
I see she's making this personal. She's a Good Princess."Such chirurgies exist, but they are slow and difficult to bring to fruition. We will consult with Our physicians on the best way to proceed."
"Thank you, princess."
Looking for vengeance, eh? I think Luna will happily assist, but..."We will also need the location of that ursa. If it dwells so close to a pony settlement that foals are endangered We will need to encourage it to seek new accommodation."
Tempest grins cruely. "If you wait until my platoon is ready, we can handle that."
A good soldier. She knows the Ursa will get dealt with, even if it's not her doing it... And she's able to be happy with that."We think it best to handle it at once, amd not wait until Our soldiers are trained adequately. Fear not, Tempest Shadow, if the time since Our return has taught us anything it is that thou shall have enemies aplenty. For now, consult with Our Captains as to who will be assigned to thine training platoon."
Tempest bows. "Princess."
"A matter of honour..."She turns to leave, Dust and Buckface following and closing the door behind them.
Luna looks at me. "Buckface?"
I should hope so. It's been a few hours, after all."A nickname he acquired after a fight with an adult dragon, where he received the injury you saw. He comes from your species' original homeland on the other side of the planet."
"You've been travelling? Did you bring me a gift?"
Oh, boy. Now that's escalation on Taylor Hebert scales..."Naturally." I take the wrapped box out of subspace, Celestia frowning slightly as I pass it to Luna.
She smiles in pleasure and she takes it in her thaumokinetic grip, undoes the ribbon and paper, opens the box lid and lifts out Queen Chrysalis's severed head.
...but their training and equipment...
...discover that no one...
Tempest grins cruelly.
...and not wait until Our soldiers...
Me thinks you should have brought back a shackled foe instead of proof of bounty.
Thank you, corrected....but their training and equipment...
...discover that no one...
Tempest grins cruelly.
...and not wait until Our soldiers...
Counterpoint: Discord, Sombra, Tirek.Me thinks you should have brought back a shackled foe instead of proof of bounty.
Ponies aren't Jade.
Grayven has done this at least once before; he cut off Klarion's head and showed it to a police officer.Mr Zoat are you sure this is Graven and not the red lantern SI? I thought "bringing the severed head of your enemies' is more his bag.
Are those minis custom, or do they actually make them?
Do you mean the Dolmen Gates?Hey, what were the types of portals that OL showed off in London?
No, come on. He does flensed skulls, not whole heads.Mr Zoat are you sure this is Graven and not the red lantern SI? I thought "bringing the severed head of your enemies' is more his bag.
I have...um, two out of three, is that okay?Good dentistry, Soft Toilet Paper, and Hand Sanitiser. Apparently.
Eh; Luna's already been inside him; Grayven is perfectly justified in thinking she likes to move fast.Isn't a severed head really more of a fifth date kind of gift?
Me too!!
Changelings have an exoskeleton, so for them that's the same thing.
Thank you, that's what I was after.
Yeah, it didn't know Cunt at first either. You've got to train it.
This is a bad look UNLESS he beheaded her when she attempted to kidnap and replace Cadance... Because otherwise he just killed the leader of a semi hostile kingdom for no other reason than to demonstrate he could.
That incident (kidnap and replace, Changeling infiltration/invasion) already happened. It was name-dropped in that chapter where he mocked the Palace Guard's ... performance.
Don't forget that it was formerly ruled by a literal Corporalised Daemon- and it's religious texts were written by a chaos-worshiper...sooo, do people forget that like, the imperium, an IMPERIALIST FANATICAL OGLIARCHY, has that entire system where your descendants can be punished for you failing to follow a command or something? like that book of the whatever the fuck, and the trials can go on long after the original people are dead. and servitors. and a whole bunch of other shit that every other faction has done, but when it's the imperium of man it's suddenly perfectly okay?
Huh then shouldn't queen what's her face be a stone statue or some other shit by now? I was under the impression that after that incident she got nuked and the changelings were left with someone else in charge?