With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Darko · Sep 21, 2020

hance1986 said:
Jesus. Christ.

One, this Melmoth arc has gone on long enough and I'm fine with an actual conclusion with the villain being definitively stopped, not escaping in the last comic panel to come back 20 issues down the line. Two, this story has been going on for years. Variety is the spice of this story. SI in the DC Universe, not constantly sparring with one Dark Eldar type scumbag.

Plus we still have to see the Renegade side of this with the Sheeds attack on modern Renegade Earth and Sivana messing with time.

Ngamer11 said:
If I remember correctly, Paul has used Enkindle Need before. Just never while simultaneously Branding someone. Doing both at the same time actually makes a lot of sense, as well as why he doesn't exactly tell people that he can do that.

Don't bother trying to make Vaermina see your point, it's an impossible task that will just leave you annoyed.

Chojin Patriarch · Sep 21, 2020

Mr Zoat said:
5th May
At Some Point

Melmoth's eyes widen fractionally as I appear on what looks like-

Entropic rays orientate on me and fire, the modifications I made to my armour to enable it to better resist them performing well enough to keep me in one piece long enough for my railguns to retaliate.

Too slow, Swirly-cheeks. And now you belong to OL.

-the control room of some sort of.. facility..? Multiple control panels show that it was designed to be operated by a larger number of people than the one who currently occupies it. Illusion projectors show a variety of scenes from Columbia and other places, and a large window to the exterior shows… A red coloured rocky desert. No, yellow-brown, it's the dim light from above that's red.

Honestly, you're making it sound slightly like a TARDIS... At least with the 'operated by less than the optimum number of people. I bet there's some limited similarity in its' ability to travel, too.

"Now-."

As the last ray projector slumps in its ball mount I reach out for Melmoth with orange strands and brand.

Ah, a moment well worth the wait. This will be sooo satisfying.

He grits his teeth, and I can feel him resisting. The images I saw suggested that he had a similar upbringing to Larfleeze; starving and scrabbling for every crumb. But while Larfleeze learned absolutely nothing from the experience, Melmoth learned discipline. Mental strength and focus. Even as he tries to suppress his own desires to zen-like calm the witch-signs he'll use to fight me are forming around his fingers.

But I didn't use every trick when I taught the Green Lanterns to resist me.

Of course not! Why would you show everything in your arsenal to the people stuck working for assholes. Gotta have something in reserve if they turn on you. Paranoia at its proper finest.

Enkindle Need.

Because while assimilation works best on people with little self-control, there's a difference between control and mastery. Melmoth could probably go centuries without hurting anyone if he had to without any adverse psychological consequences. But he could never let go of that desire and as his eyes glow orange and he tilts his head back with a gasp he abandons his effort at control in favour of lunging at me, rationality overwhelmed by his burning need to hurt something.

Big old chink in his metaphorical armour, isn't it? He just can't let go of that sadistic streak. And now it's biting him in the arse.

The brand finishes forming a moment before his face slams into my chest plate.

I reset his desires to their baselines as he stands and takes a closer look. Yes, he's… Flaking a little, but he's healing faster than it can take hold.

Bet he's regretting rendering himself immortal now, huh? Has he stopped smiling, at least?

Normally I'd speak instructions at this point, because this brand is a temporary thing and whoever I've done it to is going to have to be rehabilitated at some point. But in this case… I think he's.. if not a lost cause then at least one I'm not inclined to look for.

Instead I reach into his soul, search out the atrophied drives for cooperation and camaraderie and empower them while I turn down his selfishness and cruelty.

Oh, that's even crueller than anything physical you could do. Especially since he'll remember how he was, and the difference will burn.

"Melmoth, stop the attack."

"Ah-? Yes. Well, I… Can't." He hurries over to a control panel. "I set up the trigger before I left. I can release the counteragent-" He pulls a lever. "-but that won't stop any attackers who are already 'triggered' from carrying out their instinctive behaviour. And I should shut down the mass mutation device I left on the great southern island."

...Oh, that would have been bad. Very, very bad. I shudder at the monstrosities it would have produced.

"Is there anything else you can do to help them?"

"Certainly!" He presses a few more buttons, and the… Some sort of ornament in the middle of the floor spurts a green fluid from… Oh, it's a fountain, from the top and the liquid flows beneath the keys as Melmoth presses them. "We'll be there in a moment."

Very.. stylish. Not lessening the comparison to a TARDIS any, either...

"Where are we now?"

"We're over what used to be the Atlantic Ocean. Before it dried up." He smiles as the scenery outside the window shimmers and vanishes. "The one place no Sheeda would look: the miserable period before the first Harrowing."

So, he fled into his own past. Setting up plots that would come out to play when he made his move in the future, I suppose. Timey-wimey stuff...

"We're in the future?"

"No, the past! I won't be born for centuries!"

At least that joviality isn't being directed at people suffering anymore. I can just imagine him chuckling to himself at the irony of his position, At least in the timestream. I doubt he's very happy about his current state, deep down.

He hurries between the consoles, pulling levers, pressing buttons and briefly creating small witch-signs to manipulate the machinery.

"My future?"

"The future of humanity; the death of the world and the succession of the Sheeda. But put it from your mind! We have a people to aid!"

Oh god, now he's acting like the Doctor. Stop him, please.

"What were you planning to do with them?"

"I imagine that you've deduced most of it. I wanted to create a reserve of people with whom I could colonise the Earth after the Harrowing."

Yes, well, that didn't go so well, did it? What with the whole 'rising up and trying to kill you' bit.

"But they all hate you."

"Yes, but the moment they decreed that certain things were forbidden they created an opening for my return. Hating me is part of their official creed, which naturally means that anyone they define as being outside of that creed suddenly doesn't feel the same need for animosity. With sufficient time I would easily have talked the warlocks and warlock-breed around. Once I offered them my aid in improving their skills… Once I repaired their pupae forms into true Sheeda, and once I led them to victory against the Columbians, then they would accept me as their leader."

Eh, I suspect he's overestimating his persuasiveness. Even now, the Warlock-breed hate him as much as the Columbians do. You're not likely to undo centuries of that much hate in a generation or two...

He blinks, giving his head a small shake.

"Not that that matters now. What a horrid waste of time."

On that, we can all agree. Though the sooner he's safely somewhere he can't mess with anyone again, the better. What do you think? Oan Sciencell or a Maltusian lockup of some kind?

The churning kaleidoscope of textures on the other side of the window fades away, being replaces my the stars I recognise from the skies over witchworld.

Immediately, Melmoth moves over to another control station.

Presumably, OL is monitoring his actions. I doubt Melmoth could resist the compulsion to be helpful, but he could easily 'accidentally' be over-enthusiastic with some weapons fire...

"I can use the integrated weapons to cull the horde a little. You should be able to speak to your allies now."

"Orange Lantern to Justice League. Mission success. I have Melmoth and-"

Mission won't be completely successful until the Columbians are out of danger. But with their master working against them, the Sheeda-creatures will be somewhat easier to manage...

I scan the structure we're standing in. It's a huge cylindrical vehicle which floats unsupported in the air.

"-his base of operations."

Fricking magic, making a mockery of things like gravity. Is it hanging like a brick shouldn't?

"Is Melmoth under control?"

"Effectively. He's being very helpful. He's shutting down the attackers as much as he can and taking shots at the rest. You should be able to see-."

"The ship, yes. I see it now. Remain with him to ensure that your controls remain in place."

Yeah, can't trust he doesn't have some hidden countermeasures to undo the Orange Light tweaking. A backup memory that kicks in if he doesn't perform a certain action every so often, for example...

"Yes sir. Have.. you any plans on what we're doing with him once the immediate crisis is over?"

"Not yet. That will be… Difficult."

I See Wonder Woman is still a mistress of understatement. Difficult will not begin to describe it, methinks.

Telling me…

"I'll meet you on the ship once the fighting is over. Wonder Woman out."

So, a few minutes, at the rate they're going.

I nod as Melmoth continues to treat Central Columbia as a shooting arcade.

I just went to the far future. I… Don't think that's something I… Can do at-will. Time travel. I certainly… I'm not usually one to turn down power but that would sort of make me responsible for everything and I'd… Rather not be.

It's quite a feat. And quite the moral challenge. One of those 'No one man should have all that power' things...

"Melmoth, do you have any idea how I reached you in the future?"

"The water, probably." He points to the… Place where the water was flowing through the central console. "A small amount I temporarily stabilised from the fountain at the core of the Castle Revolving's time displacement system. It flows through time, which means that it escapes constantly. It wouldn't surprise me if it made the usual separation of eras somewhat less of an issue."

So it's a liquid space-time wedgie. Is it wibbly-wobbly, too? I suppose it must be, or it would run out at some point otherwise.

"And the Queen has the Castle?"

"Unless she lost it somehow. I think that's fairly unlikely, but that was how I was overthrown." He glances at the central console. "I'm afraid that if you want to do it again then you'll need more of the water."

Oh, how ironic, given what happened in the Renegade's timeline.

I nod, torn between disappointment and relief.

"Keep up the good work. I'll stay out of your way."

You have some things to consider, eh? Do keep an eye on him, though...

Well... Scry-and-.. if not -Die, then -Dominate. Almost feels anti-climactic, but Melmoth probably wasn't prepared for this kind of thing. While he may have seen Lanterns before, they were probably of the Green variety, and Orange can pull off some bullshit. Joy of getting blind-sided by something unfamiliar, like an out-of-context problem, huh?

Ngamer11 · Sep 21, 2020

Mr Zoat said:
Enkindle avarice.

Orange light flashes through the metaphysiques of the assault team, almost immediately mirrored by equivalent blue. That should keep out the Anti-Life, though sadly we don't have other colours of Lantern trained in this technique. Zatanna is going nowhere near this, no one thought that calling Sinestro was a good idea and what sort of lunatic would make a red ring?

"Done."

Darko said:
Don't bother trying to make Vaermina see you point, it's an impossible task that will just leave you annoyed.

I just wanted to point out that it isn't a new power, in case anyone thinks it is. Also, I found the part of the story where he used it. He called it Enkindle Avarice. Mr Zoat, will either name work, or will you make one the official name?

Also, he used it in the peace talks in Vega to make the various factions create a treaty that made all sides profit. It is useful in both combat and diplomatic missions.

BlueMangoAdea · Sep 21, 2020

Chojin Patriarch said:
While he may have seen Lanterns before, they were probably of the Green variety, and Orange can pull off some bullshit. Joy of getting blind-sided by something unfamiliar, like an out-of-context problem, huh?

Green(and other colors) can probably pull off equivalent levels of bullshit, I think. It's just that the Guardians actively discouraged esoteric uses of the green light.

Vaermina · Sep 21, 2020

Ngamer11 said:
If I remember correctly, Paul has used Enkindle Need before. Just never while simultaneously Branding someone. Doing both at the same time actually makes a lot of sense, as well as why he doesn't exactly tell people that he can do that.

The "pull out of his ass" that I was talking about was.

Time Travel.

Teleporting through wards that just minutes ago he couldn't teleport through.

Armor made out of material that's somehow immune to entropy that he designed in the few hours since he first encountered the weapons.

Though on that note, Zoat invented Branding, it's not a canon ability of the orange light at all. And what's worse, he made it pretty much a no limit fallacy in that no matter how strong, smart, skilled, or otherwise powerful you are it can own the character.

So yea, bad writing all around this chapter.

And to those refusing to look at the story from an objective perspective, you should really stop criticizing people who do.

Ngamer11 · Sep 21, 2020

Vaermina said:
Though on that note, Zoat invented Branding, it's not a canon ability of the orange light at all. And what's worse, he made it pretty much a no limit fallacy in that no matter how strong, smart, skilled, or otherwise powerful you are it can own the character.

Actually, it was used once by Larfleeze in the comics, when he used Green Lantern Stel to send a message to the Guardians after the Controllers tried to take the Orange Central Power Battery. Larfleeze presumably doesn't use it much because he prefers killing them and making them part of his Corps instead.

Darko · Sep 21, 2020

Chojin Patriarch said:
Honestly, you're making it sound slightly like a TARDIS... At least with the 'operated by less than the optimum number of people. I bet there's some limited similarity in its' ability to travel, too.

Along with all the weird shit in it.

Chojin Patriarch said:
Very.. stylish. Not lessening the comparison to a TARDIS any, either...

Nope.

Chojin Patriarch said:
Oh god, now he's acting like the Doctor. Stop him, please.

Actually I think he's acting more like the Master, one of the more jovial version at least.

They have a lot of similarities.

Both are sadistic megalomaniacs that want to cause pain and suffering to others.

Chojin Patriarch said:
Eh, I suspect he's overestimating his persuasiveness. Even now, the Warlock-breed hate him as much as the Columbians do. You're not likely to undo centuries of that much hate in a generation or two...

Maybe, but he can probably convince a few to follow him.

If they have been rejected by their society then they may feel more resentful to them than they do to Melmoth, who they only know through history and stories rather than actually meeting him like the rest of their society, so they may not have any personal resentfulness towards him.

Chojin Patriarch said:
On that, we can all agree. Though the sooner he's safely somewhere he can't mess with anyone again, the better. What do you think? Oan Sciencell or a Maltusian lockup of some kind?

If Paul takes him then it's possible it will be the Controllers version of a cell.

Still they could just hand him over to the Columbians and let them kill him.

He has harmed their society and he has committed multiple genocides and other horrible crimes.

Hell given what he did to Aurakos and Aurakles they could also hand him over to the New Gods for trial.

Chojin Patriarch said:
Presumably, OL is monitoring his actions. I doubt Melmoth could resist the compulsion to be helpful, but he could easily 'accidentally' be over-enthusiastic with some weapons fire...

Or his version of 'helpfulness' may be very different.

In Life Ore Death Hal Jordan talks to the Team about some of the other lights and rings and points out how the Indigo Light can be used for evil.

Say the Joker got an Indigo ring, that would make him compassionate, but it would not necessarily change his stance that he's the only sane person around and to make everyone else sane he needs to hurt them. It may pain him to hurt them, but in the end he would see it as a necessary step to help them, like a parent disciplining their child, they may not want to do it, but they still have to for the good of the child.

Chojin Patriarch said:
Yeah, can't trust he doesn't have some hidden countermeasures to undo the Orange Light tweaking. A backup memory that kicks in if he doesn't perform a certain action every so often, for example...

Good point.

He may not have resistance against orange light, but he probably has some measures in place for mind control magic or tech.

Chojin Patriarch said:
So it's a liquid space-time wedgie. Is it wibbly-wobbly, too? I suppose it must be, or it would run out at some point otherwise.

The comparison to the TARDIS and all the weird shit in it is getting more and more pronounced.

Nervaqus987 · Sep 21, 2020

Vaermina said:
And to those refusing to look at the story from an objective perspective, you should really stop criticizing people who do.

I'll make sure to do that as soon as I see one.

Darko · Sep 21, 2020

Ngamer11 said:
I just wanted to point out that it isn't a new power, in case anyone thinks it is. Also, I found the part of the story where he used it. He called it Enkindle Avarice. Mr Zoat, will either name work, or will you make one the official name?

Also, he used it in the peace talks in Vega to make the various factions create a treaty that made all sides profit. It is useful in both combat and diplomatic missions.

Oh you don't have to convince that he has used it previously, I remember those moments.

However trying to convince Vaermina of this, even when you present evidence to him, is an exercise in futility that will get you nowhere.

No matter what evidence and logic you present Vaermina will refuse to consider you are right in any way.

If after a certain point you can't stand arguing with him and consider what he writes to be something you just can't look at anymore then just block him using the ignore option.

Ngamer11 said:
Actually, it was used once by Larfleeze in the comics, when he used Green Lantern Stel to send a message to the Guardians after the Controllers tried to take the Orange Central Power Battery. Larfleeze presumably doesn't use it much because he prefers killing them and making them part of his Corps instead.

Hmm, thanks for giving us a hint where this ability was used in the comics.

Scholar of Time · Sep 21, 2020

Vaermina said:
This chapter isn't getting a like, because I feel disgruntled.

You built up a moderately intriguing Villain that was starting to get stale. And then you had Paul display interesting new abilities which probably foreshadow a larger combat to beat him in the most effective way possible.

I didn't like this, and thus it is crap.

Fixed that for you, Vaermina.

Coda · Sep 21, 2020

Mr Zoat said:
similar upbringing to Larfleeze; starving and scrabbling

Comma or colon.

Vaermina said:
And on that note, you want me to believe he shields his abandoned bases from that sort of teleportation but not where he actually is? Suspension of disbelief once again broken.

As far as I can tell, Melmoth's bases were never SHIELDED against greedyporting, only against scans. He couldn't teleport before because he didn't have any way to target -- little if any coherent, sophisticated desire structures that he would be able to recognize. When he finally did have enough of a scent to follow, it still required him leaving the field of engagement for a significant period of time (even if not the multiple hours necessary for the quintessence waveform scan) so he couldn't do it until the immediately urgent matters had been attended to.

As for branding... even if Zoat invented it, it's a power that's entirely consistent with other known powers. There are very few canonical powers demonstrated for MOST of the ring colors, so in order to write a good story with an underrepresented color it's only natural that it would need fleshed out. If orange light can completely dominate someone's identity then only partially dominating it as a skill that takes more finesse is reasonable -- it would be stranger if it COULDN'T be done, if there was no in-between ground between a push and full assimilation.

And it should be noted that there are canonical powers in the other colors that are in the same general vein. We've got specific examples of red inspiring rage in other people, and yellow and blue (and I think violet?) being able to go so far as rewrite parts of someone's mind. It's also canonically demonstrated that these techniques CAN be resisted with training.

Fellow · Sep 21, 2020

Vaermina said:
Perfect Lionheart

Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time.

Sockmonkey · Sep 21, 2020

How is Larfleeze's treatment going anyhow? Any significant progress or is he still detoxing?

transhumansage · Sep 21, 2020

Fellow said:
Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time.

ikr. yeeesh its been so long since chunnin exam day.

Mr Zoat · Sep 21, 2020

Ngamer11 said:
I just wanted to point out that it isn't a new power, in case anyone thinks it is. Also, I found the part of the story where he used it. He called it Enkindle Avarice. Mr Zoat, will either name work, or will you make one the official name?

Depends what you mean by 'official'. The SI called in 'Need' here because
- Watsonian: it's one sylable and therefore easier to say
- Doylist: I forgot what I called it last time
but it's not as if that's the 'real' name. It's just what he happenmed to call it here.

Coda said:
Comma or colon.

Thank you, corrected.

Sockmonkey said:
How is Larfleeze's treatment going anyhow? Any significant progress or is he still detoxing?

He's moving around slightly more when prompted.

AidanMorgan · Sep 21, 2020

Coda said:
We've got specific examples of red inspiring rage in other people, and yellow and blue (and I think violet?) being able to go so far as rewrite parts of someone's mind. It's also canonically demonstrated that these techniques CAN be resisted with training.

Indigo does a full on rewire of your emotions so you can only feel compassion.

Fellow · Sep 21, 2020

transhumansage said:
ikr. yeeesh its been so long since chunnin exam day.

Is it bad that I actually kinda liked the story?

Mr Zoat · Sep 21, 2020

Fellow said:
Is it bad that I actually kinda liked the story?

Yes. Dreadful.

Darko · Sep 21, 2020

Coda said:
As far as I can tell, Melmoth's bases were never SHIELDED against greedyporting, only against scans. He couldn't teleport before because he didn't have any way to target -- little if any coherent, sophisticated desire structures that he would be able to recognize. When he finally did have enough of a scent to follow, it still required him leaving the field of engagement for a significant period of time (even if not the multiple hours necessary for the quintessence waveform scan) so he couldn't do it until the immediately urgent matters had been attended to.

The Honden also isn't your garden variety teleportation method, so Meltmoth may not have any methods to prevent someone from using it, likely because he didn't even know it existed.

Coda said:
As for branding... yes, Zoat invented it, but it's a power that's entirely consistent with other known powers. There are very few canonical powers demonstrated for MOST of the ring colors, so in order to write a good story with an underrepresented color it's only natural that it would need fleshed out. If orange light can completely dominate someone's identity then only partially dominating it as a skill that takes more finesse is reasonable -- it would be stranger if it COULDN'T be done, if there was no in-between ground between a push and full assimilation.

It may have been used in the comics according to this.

Ngamer11 said:
Actually, it was used once by Larfleeze in the comics, when he used Green Lantern Stel to send a message to the Guardians after the Controllers tried to take the Orange Central Power Battery. Larfleeze presumably doesn't use it much because he prefers killing them and making them part of his Corps instead.

Coda said:
And it should be noted that there are canonical powers in the other colors that are in the same general vein. We've got specific examples of red inspiring rage in other people, and yellow and blue (and I think violet?) being able to go so far as rewrite parts of someone's mind. It's also canonically demonstrated that these techniques CAN be resisted with training.

I think violets trapped people in crystals and brainwashed them with the Violet light.

BartlettMagic · Sep 21, 2020

Mr Zoat said:
"Yes sir. Have.. you any plans on what we're doing with him once the immediate crisis is over?"

"Not yet. That will be… Difficult."

for the love of christ, assimilate him. he's a treasure trove of information on the Sheeda, and you know, gathering information about the Sheeda is the whole fucking point of this excursion. it would be pretty handy to have a ready-and-willing, 'no need to babysit and maintain a brand' encyclopedia of that knowledge.

not to mention i bet some interesting/entertaining conversations could be had between OL and a non-hostile Melmoth.... kinda like Grayven and Sinestro.

Sockmonkey said:
How is Larfleeze's treatment going anyhow? Any significant progress or is he still detoxing?

yes, i think i would like to hear an update back on Maltus from Hinnon. maybe a more fleshed-out description of Larfleeze's condition. and i've been on record before as wanting to know what the Ophidian thinks of living in the Orange Central Power Battery and having her own Corps. plus OL should probably talk to her or Hinnon about why the Ophidian wasn't present during the current mission.

and while i'm whining in the dark, i might as well reiterate my desire to have the main man, the last Czarnian, Lobo, get some story time.

Coda · Sep 21, 2020

AidanMorgan said:
Indigo does a full on rewire of your emotions so you can only feel compassion.

I know, but I was specifically talking about powers that can be used by a ringslinger against an opponent.

Darko said:
It may have been used in the comics according to this.

Yeah, I edited my post shortly after making it to correct my phrasing, but you happened to quote it before I did so.

Lord Ernest · Sep 21, 2020

I gotta say, I'm extremely happy that this was the way that Melmoth got defeated. No overcoming of exotic defenses or trying to think of a way to bypass magical protections, no back and forth with the Illustres having to repair his armor/body and Melmoth running his mouth as he has been doing.

Just... show up and demonstrate his control and mastery over mystical Lantern powers, that's it. I miss stuff like that, when the Illustres gets to really demonstrate that he's really on another level and unless the enemy is being extremely clever or has some narratively inspired cheat-power/weapon, they're going down in just a moment.

transhumansage · Sep 21, 2020

Fellow said:
Is it bad that I actually kinda liked the story?

no. i liked it too. until the 13 year old mc started adding tsunade and kurenai to his harem. he had a lot of wonderful ideas but then i dont know what happened.

Vaermina · Sep 21, 2020

Ngamer11 said:
Actually, it was used once by Larfleeze in the comics, when he used Green Lantern Stel to send a message to the Guardians after the Controllers tried to take the Orange Central Power Battery. Larfleeze presumably doesn't use it much because he prefers killing them and making them part of his Corps instead.

The "brand" from Volume 4 Issue 39 was a message and a bomb that Larfleeze set on Stel after he tore him to pieces. It had no supernatural coercion abilities in the slightest. And couldn't just be placed on people, only Lanterns who's ring's the big giant head had consumed.

It being able to be used on anybody, and it being able to mind break people, was something Zoat invented to give Paragon more power.

It's a random unconnected power that's made the character boring and effectively unstoppable when paired with Zoat nerfing anything and everything that canonically is supposed to counter the orange light.

The Unaligned Player · Sep 21, 2020

Vaermina said:
snip

Why are you still here?

AidanMorgan · Sep 21, 2020

The Unaligned Player said:
Why are you still here?

Spreading misery and discord.

Ardy · Sep 21, 2020

The Unaligned Player said:
Why are you still here?

They get off on complaining. They got banned on SB too when they wouldn't stop bad faith arguing. Even got their own mod post, which is pretty impressive.

Vaermina · Sep 21, 2020

The Unaligned Player said:
Why are you still here?

Because this site encourages constructive criticism of stories on it?

On that note however, why are you still here?

nick012000 · Sep 22, 2020

Ardy said:
They get off on complaining. They got banned on SB too when they wouldn't stop bad faith arguing. Even got their own mod post, which is pretty impressive.

That linked post was just a threadban, not a ban from SB as a whole.

Cuchulin · Sep 22, 2020

Vaermina said:
Because this site encourages constructive criticism of stories on it?

You don't do constructive criticism, try again.

With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

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