Sockmonkey
I trust you know where the happy button is?
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On Karna, all porn would be furry cat porn. What's the term for a reverse furry? An anthro that prefers humans the way J'arkin does?
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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)
- Thread starter Mr Zoat
- Start date
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- self insert young justice
Mr Zoat
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PrinceJonathan
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Then the video goes viral all across Vega.
Then aliens start wondering what chicken tastes like, and they all start coming to Earth to try KFC.
Idkusername
Versed in the lewd.
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Than they all die because their bodies haven't adapted to shitty fast food health standards.
Maxx Crowley
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It's how little he seems to care about this buffoon representing his organization (even if he's "off the clock") that puzzles me.
Worst case scenario is Khan sells a bunch of alien tech/weaponry that kicks off a war of some sort. Or sells something that has some sort of alien microb on it that wrecks havoc as stringent sanitation doesn't strike me as something he cares about. Or kicks off an arms race. Or any other sort of "Hey, I've got alien hyper-tech for sale" shit that can go bad any number of ways.
Or he does some sort of shady space business shit like the clearly shady space business guy he is.
I'm just not sure how things went from "I'm going to check in with the literal god of wealth to make sure I don't wreck anything." To "This shady space fucker is going to sell off any number of alien devices to whoever has the cash.....Meh."
Ace Dreamer
Questioning The Nature of our Realities
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I think I've seen 'nake' used... Depending on how extreme they are either humans with the usual range of 'hairless ape' hairiness, all the way to bald, with no eyebrows or eyelashes (so, no visible hair at all, even the fine hair places humans are generally 'hairless')...
More detail than that's definitely heading in NSFW directions...
Or, the food synthesiser setting 'chicken' becomes a major product, with all the hacked versions and poor imitations...
Xmaster3000
Know what you're doing yet?
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Hey, leave Saitama out of this!
RichardWhereat
Aia airëa Fëanáro.
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It's not his organisation. He decided to let someone else run it, and then asked Dox to run it. He's just the 2IC, and Dox has asked him to take a back seat in running things.
Low Politics (part 14)
Mr Zoat
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8th April
23:03 GMT
Orange light from my ring strobes over an area infected with what I can only imagine was some sort of psion biological weapon, recording its character and then destroying it utterly. I.. can't even work out why the gordanians bothered using this here. Maybe the psions paid them for the test results? It made the Tamaraneans in the nearest town catch fire then went into hibernation until the relief mission from the regional capital arrived. Komand'r and Koriand'r visited here of course, but neither of them were confident enough in their abilities to guarantee to their people that the area was clear.
And they were right. This thing is… Clever. Only a mercy that it wasn't designed to travel.
**I must admit, I'm a little disappointed that the United Nations isn't better prepared.**
**You and me both.**
**And I understand why you don't want to bring about your own solution, though I don't agree with your aim.**
**Why's that?**
**If the system isn't fit for purpose, why not replace it?**
**Probably the same reason why you didn't become President of the United States.**
**No, I'm too elitist to tolerate standing for election by my mental inferiors.**
The mental impression accompanying that is that the statement isn't just a self-depreciating joke.
**And I'd find the separation of powers and term limits too restricting. While I appreciate that it adds to the challenge, I don't like being hobbled.**
**Alright, then it's probably the same reason why you didn't become Overlord of Earth.**
**I wouldn't have minded becoming Dictator of Earth, if I had to deal with a crisis that actually required me to take that power. Half the challenge would have been getting it. But I understand; you don't want to manipulate people's emotions on a large scale any more than I want to manipulate their minds.**
**How is Tamaran handling predatory corporations?**
**The branx are still repairing the damage their corporate war inflicted. Other than that, all we've had are relatively small traders. And we have a self defence fleet and a true planetary government.**
**That would make things easier.**
**The best idea I can come up with that could be implemented quickly would be for America, Russia and China to invite the ClusterCorp to establish a trading post in their territory and put in place whatever rules they want without reference to each other. That maintains national self-determination and allows the ClusterCorp regulated access to Earth's markets.**
Think I.. got it all. I send a pulse of orange through the ground to check… Yes, clear. Next step is to reintroduce soil microbes and fauna.
**And other nations?**
**They can ask ClusterCorp for a trade post, or work through an ally. The United Nations just isn't designed for handling interstellar relations. The Security Council isn't going to be able to agree on a change in function within a relevant time frame. Treating it as a body which can serve the purpose you want it to will only waste your time.**
**You could be right.** I look around the somewhat overgrown vista and… Smile contentedly. This was certainly worth my time. Something that needed my particular abilities to fix and will directly benefit people. Not like that nonsense that's happening on Earth at the moment. **But I don't think that Manga Khan will want to give up his current freedom. Any other ideas?**
**It would be a trivial matter for the Justice League to enforce isolationism. If the Security Council voted to give them that authority, they could overrun the Cluster Ship's security teams fairly quickly.**
**I'd… Rather not go to war against the entire Earth.**
**You could just choose not to. Or you could train a group of people from Earth as Orange Lanterns and uphold your agreement with Venturia using them.**
**The problem there is that the characteristics which might make someone likely to obey my instructions don't lend themselves to making good Orange Lanterns.**
**In that case, you could ask Queen Hippolyta to grant Orange Lanterns from elsewhere Themysciran citizenship. With major fleet operations in Vega finished the princesses are available, should you need them. They've both spoken to me at length about human society, and I know that Koriand'r believes that she failed you concerning the way we handled Wombworld.**
**Of course, they might try specifically banning Lanterns. Or at least Lanterns who don't have an operating agreement. Until now we've been lumped in with vigilantes, but if Earth's governments are forced to confront the fact that we're members of an alien police force then that could change.**
**If dealing with it was a simple matter, I doubt that you'd have crossed the galaxy to speak to me.**
I nod. **No, I wouldn't. Is there anywhere else that needs me?**
**Almost every part of Tamaran could benefit from your work, but nowhere that needs you.**
Just like Earth.
**How are things going here in general?**
**The basic education system has been more or less restored now. Though because there hasn't been much provision for such a long time, classes on the same subjects are being delivered to different age groups. Following your example, the princesses spent a good deal of time recreating the mass transit network, which -combined with the defence ships we use as relays- means that transportation and communication are restored globally. The centralisation of global projects is reinforcing the authority of the crown, which combined with the fact that the princesses are Vega's Sector Lanterns means that there aren't any problems from internal political disagreements.**
**I don't suppose that Tamaranean unification is something that we can replicate on Earth?**
I sense his amusement.
**No. The different noble families on Tamaran arose due to the distance between settlements and the lack of transportation infrastructure when Tamaran was first settled. They were far closer to cultural homogeneity than humans are. Of course… You could make the people of Earth want to work more closely together.**
**We're nowhere near the point where I'd do that.**
**Have you decided in your own mind where the point is?**
**No, but I've decided where it isn't. I might nudge a single individual if I thought that one person was holding up the whole process, but in this case it's the whole system.**
I take a closer look at the overgrown town, then send out a swarm of secateurs to prune the shrubbery back. I also remove the mortal remains of the plague's victims as respectfully as I can and arrange them a short distance away.
I can't think of a better approach than what Adam came up with. Earth's flirtations with unified governance have been victor's justice at best and a political football at w-. At medium. At worst it's been a money sink and tax haven.
I remember the Night's Dawn series, where it was noted that Earth's early colonies replicated Earth's chaotic governance structure by having colonists from a wide variety of different cultural backgrounds on the same world. They inevitably established political groupings with people from the same backgrounds in opposition to other groups. Later colonies gave up on that approach and allowed monocultural colonisation and that resulted in stable unified planetary governments.
It's a depressing thought, but based on what I've seen…
Ah well. Half the reason why I didn't take the Clarissi job is that I know perfectly well the limits of my abilities. Hopefully someone else has come up with something better while I've been gone.
23:03 GMT
Orange light from my ring strobes over an area infected with what I can only imagine was some sort of psion biological weapon, recording its character and then destroying it utterly. I.. can't even work out why the gordanians bothered using this here. Maybe the psions paid them for the test results? It made the Tamaraneans in the nearest town catch fire then went into hibernation until the relief mission from the regional capital arrived. Komand'r and Koriand'r visited here of course, but neither of them were confident enough in their abilities to guarantee to their people that the area was clear.
And they were right. This thing is… Clever. Only a mercy that it wasn't designed to travel.
**I must admit, I'm a little disappointed that the United Nations isn't better prepared.**
**You and me both.**
**And I understand why you don't want to bring about your own solution, though I don't agree with your aim.**
**Why's that?**
**If the system isn't fit for purpose, why not replace it?**
**Probably the same reason why you didn't become President of the United States.**
**No, I'm too elitist to tolerate standing for election by my mental inferiors.**
The mental impression accompanying that is that the statement isn't just a self-depreciating joke.
**And I'd find the separation of powers and term limits too restricting. While I appreciate that it adds to the challenge, I don't like being hobbled.**
**Alright, then it's probably the same reason why you didn't become Overlord of Earth.**
**I wouldn't have minded becoming Dictator of Earth, if I had to deal with a crisis that actually required me to take that power. Half the challenge would have been getting it. But I understand; you don't want to manipulate people's emotions on a large scale any more than I want to manipulate their minds.**
**How is Tamaran handling predatory corporations?**
**The branx are still repairing the damage their corporate war inflicted. Other than that, all we've had are relatively small traders. And we have a self defence fleet and a true planetary government.**
**That would make things easier.**
**The best idea I can come up with that could be implemented quickly would be for America, Russia and China to invite the ClusterCorp to establish a trading post in their territory and put in place whatever rules they want without reference to each other. That maintains national self-determination and allows the ClusterCorp regulated access to Earth's markets.**
Think I.. got it all. I send a pulse of orange through the ground to check… Yes, clear. Next step is to reintroduce soil microbes and fauna.
**And other nations?**
**They can ask ClusterCorp for a trade post, or work through an ally. The United Nations just isn't designed for handling interstellar relations. The Security Council isn't going to be able to agree on a change in function within a relevant time frame. Treating it as a body which can serve the purpose you want it to will only waste your time.**
**You could be right.** I look around the somewhat overgrown vista and… Smile contentedly. This was certainly worth my time. Something that needed my particular abilities to fix and will directly benefit people. Not like that nonsense that's happening on Earth at the moment. **But I don't think that Manga Khan will want to give up his current freedom. Any other ideas?**
**It would be a trivial matter for the Justice League to enforce isolationism. If the Security Council voted to give them that authority, they could overrun the Cluster Ship's security teams fairly quickly.**
**I'd… Rather not go to war against the entire Earth.**
**You could just choose not to. Or you could train a group of people from Earth as Orange Lanterns and uphold your agreement with Venturia using them.**
**The problem there is that the characteristics which might make someone likely to obey my instructions don't lend themselves to making good Orange Lanterns.**
**In that case, you could ask Queen Hippolyta to grant Orange Lanterns from elsewhere Themysciran citizenship. With major fleet operations in Vega finished the princesses are available, should you need them. They've both spoken to me at length about human society, and I know that Koriand'r believes that she failed you concerning the way we handled Wombworld.**
**Of course, they might try specifically banning Lanterns. Or at least Lanterns who don't have an operating agreement. Until now we've been lumped in with vigilantes, but if Earth's governments are forced to confront the fact that we're members of an alien police force then that could change.**
**If dealing with it was a simple matter, I doubt that you'd have crossed the galaxy to speak to me.**
I nod. **No, I wouldn't. Is there anywhere else that needs me?**
**Almost every part of Tamaran could benefit from your work, but nowhere that needs you.**
Just like Earth.
**How are things going here in general?**
**The basic education system has been more or less restored now. Though because there hasn't been much provision for such a long time, classes on the same subjects are being delivered to different age groups. Following your example, the princesses spent a good deal of time recreating the mass transit network, which -combined with the defence ships we use as relays- means that transportation and communication are restored globally. The centralisation of global projects is reinforcing the authority of the crown, which combined with the fact that the princesses are Vega's Sector Lanterns means that there aren't any problems from internal political disagreements.**
**I don't suppose that Tamaranean unification is something that we can replicate on Earth?**
I sense his amusement.
**No. The different noble families on Tamaran arose due to the distance between settlements and the lack of transportation infrastructure when Tamaran was first settled. They were far closer to cultural homogeneity than humans are. Of course… You could make the people of Earth want to work more closely together.**
**We're nowhere near the point where I'd do that.**
**Have you decided in your own mind where the point is?**
**No, but I've decided where it isn't. I might nudge a single individual if I thought that one person was holding up the whole process, but in this case it's the whole system.**
I take a closer look at the overgrown town, then send out a swarm of secateurs to prune the shrubbery back. I also remove the mortal remains of the plague's victims as respectfully as I can and arrange them a short distance away.
I can't think of a better approach than what Adam came up with. Earth's flirtations with unified governance have been victor's justice at best and a political football at w-. At medium. At worst it's been a money sink and tax haven.
I remember the Night's Dawn series, where it was noted that Earth's early colonies replicated Earth's chaotic governance structure by having colonists from a wide variety of different cultural backgrounds on the same world. They inevitably established political groupings with people from the same backgrounds in opposition to other groups. Later colonies gave up on that approach and allowed monocultural colonisation and that resulted in stable unified planetary governments.
It's a depressing thought, but based on what I've seen…
Ah well. Half the reason why I didn't take the Clarissi job is that I know perfectly well the limits of my abilities. Hopefully someone else has come up with something better while I've been gone.
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RichardWhereat
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So it is the Emperor. Gotcha.
Flux Casey
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It's who? I honestly don't know who he's talking to because not fucking once has Zoat referred to him by any kind of name or title. This entire post relies on coloured quote marks to inform who's speaking but completely neglects to actually name the party that isn't Paul.
BlueMangoAdea
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Well, in last update, this person was addressed as Adam on Tamaran. This story(as far as I remember) featured only one Adam on Tamaran, so far.
Slayer Anderson
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I don't suppose Paul's considered just... building his own navy under the authority of Queen of the Amazons and using that to enforce Space Law?
Or, fuck, I don't know, kick-starting a Lunar colony and using that as justification for having a space fleet? It'd be less immediate, but might light a fire under Earth's collective asses.
Or, fuck, I don't know, kick-starting a Lunar colony and using that as justification for having a space fleet? It'd be less immediate, but might light a fire under Earth's collective asses.
Handlewithcare
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New theories as to why Dox send Ihan:
To teach Paul there are problems even ze can't fix directly.
To teach Earth it needs to change in order to free Paul for other projects.
I feel that Paul is currently running into a peculiar problem: he fixed so much he isn't directly needed anymore.
I mean, there are always places in need of intervention, but less need him specificially. He has a Corps in place now.
That may change, but for now things seem stable enough.
Perhaps he should look more into a civilian identity? Play more games?
To teach Paul there are problems even ze can't fix directly.
To teach Earth it needs to change in order to free Paul for other projects.
I feel that Paul is currently running into a peculiar problem: he fixed so much he isn't directly needed anymore.
I mean, there are always places in need of intervention, but less need him specificially. He has a Corps in place now.
That may change, but for now things seem stable enough.
Perhaps he should look more into a civilian identity? Play more games?
NightmareWarden
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I wonder how the Justice League from the Justice League Unlimited cartoon would handle ClusterCorp. And I don't mean in a villain-of-the-week ending.
Handlewithcare
Versed in the lewd.
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New theories as to why Dox send Ihan:
To teach Paul there are problems even ze can't fix directly.
To teach Earth it needs to change in order to free Paul for other projects.
I feel that Paul is currently running into a peculiar problem: he fixed so much he isn't directly needed anymore.
I mean, there are always places in need of intervention, but less need him specificially. He has a Corps in place now.
That may change, but for now things seem stable enough.
Perhaps he should look more into a civilian identity? Play more games?
To teach Paul there are problems even ze can't fix directly.
To teach Earth it needs to change in order to free Paul for other projects.
I feel that Paul is currently running into a peculiar problem: he fixed so much he isn't directly needed anymore.
I mean, there are always places in need of intervention, but less need him specificially. He has a Corps in place now.
That may change, but for now things seem stable enough.
Perhaps he should look more into a civilian identity? Play more games?
Vaermina
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Yes, because you would lose.
Expecting politicians to be reasonable.
That's adorable.
RichardWhereat
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I like this idea. Building spacecraft so the Amazons can go into space, and somehow wrangling some sort of biological immortality for them so they don't need to stay on the island. They can just keep it as their home nation.
I brought up the terraforming the moon thing a few times in the past, it's always gotten a lukewarm response.
Simonbob
Really? You don't say.
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Without external pressure, there's no reason to unify.
Somehow, in DC, even multiple alien invasions aren't enough to really start that idea taking off. Must be all those Supers fixing the problem, rather than letting the pressure filter down.
....... The only way that could work, is if they took the island with them. That's some serious spaceshipping.
Alasnuyo
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I think the term would be 'skinnies'.
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Valint
I trust you know where the happy button is?
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I continue to be confused by Paul's confusion.
There's what appears to be an actual moron, who was given power by joining an organization that Paul founded, and was sent here at Paul's request by the leader Paul selected, and who Paul is now noting he will go to war with the entire Earth to defend (if Earth did decide that it didn't want him here).
... and he can't figure out why everyone seems to think that it's his problem to fix. His inability to comprehend defies my comprehension.
Whatever lesson Paul was trying to teach has been stepped all over by the reality that the root of all of this traces back to Paul.
I really hope that there's a 'Martian Stupidity Ray' or some other actual explanation for how few fucks Paul is giving about a situation that he's the driving force for.
There's what appears to be an actual moron, who was given power by joining an organization that Paul founded, and was sent here at Paul's request by the leader Paul selected, and who Paul is now noting he will go to war with the entire Earth to defend (if Earth did decide that it didn't want him here).
... and he can't figure out why everyone seems to think that it's his problem to fix. His inability to comprehend defies my comprehension.
Whatever lesson Paul was trying to teach has been stepped all over by the reality that the root of all of this traces back to Paul.
I really hope that there's a 'Martian Stupidity Ray' or some other actual explanation for how few fucks Paul is giving about a situation that he's the driving force for.
Chojin Patriarch
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Sounds nasty. Something that drove the Tamaranean solar cells into overdrive until they set themselves alight with their own body heat? I suppose it might have made a nice terror weapon.
By it's nature, international politics is unwieldy...
Adam doesn't want Earth to sort its shit out before some one invades and forces them to?
Ah., he just doesn't think the UN can manage it. Given he left in, what, the sixties? When the UN had even less pull? I can understand that.
I guess he does consider most people on Earth stupid. Why else would he have left? Besides wanderlust and wanting to bone green space babes?
And have every superhero gunning to punch him in the face? Too much effort.
I see they agree on that, at least. Better to push people to their own conclusions naturally, than force the matter.
So they actually had plans in place when people showed up. I assume they dropped the interdiction when they took down the Psions.
And runs the risk of pissing off one of the other nations when one of them acquires, say, a perfect anti-missle defence system...
Just casually annihilating an alien bio-weapon and repairing the enviroment it damaged while having a discussion about Earth pilitics... Classic OL.
And there's the central issue. Political structures on Earth just aren't built to do want OL wants or needs them to do...
Hmm. Maybe this is what OL needed to clear his head. Some basic, down-to-Tamaran fixing shit, without politics or Corps problems fouling up his groove. Perhaps he'll return to Earth after this with a fresh sense of what he wants...
And it doesn't solve the central issue: OL doesn't want them running to someone with a cape every time they bump into something they can't talk away...
Indeed... It's rare to find someone capable of subsuming their own desires to a group's. At least, one capable of acting independently at the same time. And let's not forget being strong enough to overcome the 'Mineminemine' reflex of the orange light, even toned down as it is by the Central Power Battery.
Could be a good way to get Kori on Earth. She'd do well there, especially if she meets Alan and discovers the Blue light. Also: Dick Grayson.
Again, I think a fresh pair of Human eyes were needed on the problem. Hopefully this gives OL some ideas.
Hitting that wall of 'Am I butting in? Yes? Oops.' I see. Sooner or later, he's going to get sick of things again...
Even without their canon powers, the Princesses are kicking ass (or rather, not having to by virtue of reputation) and befriending people...
Oh, hell no. Humans are far too tribal for that...
I suspect that point would have to be somewhere closer to 'imminent extinction of the Human species' than it is now...
And you can't fix that system without going full Justice Lords. And you never want to go full Justice Lords, man.
Like I said: Humans are too tribal for a single government to work out. There are too many differences across the world for things to work out. Too many people to see as part of your tribe. It'll be a long time yet, if ever.
Again, tribalism. People want to be with people like them. If they go somewhere else, they want it to be like they're used to but just a little different, enough to feel safe...
<facepalm> Honestly, OL. With all that hopefulness, you should have been Blue. If you're lucky, Manga Khan won't have accidentally World War Three. Or the League deciding 'enough of this, facepunching time!'
A nice little conversation. And hopefully one that gives OL a spark to start sorting this out, even if he's just offering advice. Ultimately, I don't think this will end without someone getting upset. It's just a matter of making sure that the least people are offended.
Might read better as 'for its purpose'... or he might just have an odd way of putting it...
**In that case, you could ask Queen Hippolyta...
Gladiusone
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Impossible: his telepathic speech is insufficiently GOLD!
Darko
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'as Orange Lanterns' not 'as an Orange Lanterns'
Has Ryand'r gone back to Tamaran in the paragon side?
What about in the renegade side, is he back there on Tamaran?
Will both Kori and Kom visit Earth in the paragon side anytime in your story?
Paul really shouldn't have said that line, it's like he hasn't learned that taunting Murphy is a bad idea.
Has Ryand'r gone back to Tamaran in the paragon side?
What about in the renegade side, is he back there on Tamaran?
Will both Kori and Kom visit Earth in the paragon side anytime in your story?
Paul really shouldn't have said that line, it's like he hasn't learned that taunting Murphy is a bad idea.
BlueMangoAdea
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Manga Khan himself isn't a situation that OL is willing to go to war to defend. The fact that governments of Earth are unable to deal with this relatively harmless interstellar threat without the help of supers is. One does not promote their ability to to deal with problems by fixing it for them. If it doesn't work out, Paul will sigh, get rid of Manga Khan, and do his best to affect the current governments of the world so that the next interstellar threat does not require supers to fix. Until then, best to make them try their best, without the supers.
SirKaid
Know what you're doing yet?
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Paul on his lonesome? Yeah, of course he would. While we've seen him dismantle a version of the Justice League (when he was subbing for Baul) that's largely because they were unfamiliar with him and hadn't plugged the holes in their defences that he could exploit. He's still absolutely an A-lister, but he's not, on his own, a trump to the entire League.
Paul wouldn't be on his lonesome, however, as that's incredibly stupid. He'd use his authority as Illustres to grab a few Lanterns and then go and hire a bunch of villains before doing a murderous alpha strike. He knows where they sleep and can teleport, scry-and-die would be more than enough to kill the big hitters before they became aware of the attack.
We already know that Paul can kill them, even big hitters among them, even when playing by supervillain rules and a supervillain plot, because the "training mission" arc demonstrated exactly that. If he wasn't playing around and the goal was explicitly murder, they'd be dead.
Mr Zoat
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Manga Khan's job as an Orange Lantern is to prevent Atlantis retaking Venturia by force. If Atlantis has not retaken/is not retaking Venturia by force, then he's doing his job.
No, that's correct.
Thank you, corrected.
Thank you, corrected.
He's probably visited, but he's not living there.
No.
Yes.
Darko
Connoisseur.
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He can just fuse with the Ophidian and crash the moon into the Earth, he already moved it with his finger once.
He can also take on the entire League, not as easily as the one he took down in -14 but still possible.
The only one that can probably give him a challenge is Guy, who can summon Ion, but he's away from Earth most of the time because of his promotion.
Darko
Connoisseur.
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With the Citadel no longer being an issue and the Gordanians being gone as well as the Psion being dead I thought he may want to go back home and try to reconnect with his family.
His parents may be understanding of what he did, as well as Kori, Kom probably not but unlike her pre flashpoint self, who would try to kill someone if they looked at her the wrong way, this one may just ignore him.
Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
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There are still plenty of pirates around who haven't quite gotten the message. And he likes being a heroic freedom fighter.
In the Renegade timeline, the Renegade openly blaming him for what happened to his sisters has really done a number on his popularity back home.