With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Khornelius · Apr 16, 2022

Patrick Holt said:
What about the fight on Santa Prisca

I know there are others but that's the first one I know he sang during.

How do you know she gets away with it? The battle just ended and Hephaestaean was dealing with the cleanup of his new throne room. And Ares knew Aphrodite was married so that means, hands off, he wasn't innocent.

Ok first, if someone is Married they are not available! Having sex with someone else's spouse is wrong!
Whether its Zeus, Ares, or Aphrodite it's wrong.
Second, this link will take you to a translation of Aphrodite's five lovers but the important part is after that.

https://www.theoi.com/Olympios/AphroditeLoves.html

"Ares, god of the golden reins, was no blind watcher. Once he had seen Hephaistos go, he himself approached the great craftman's dwelling, pining for love of Kytherea [Aphrodtie]. As for her, she had just returned from the palace of mighty Zeus her father, and was sitting down in the house as Ares entered it. He took her hand and spoke thus to her : 'Come, my darling; let us go to bed and take our delight together. Hephaistos is no longer here; by now, I think, he has made his way to Lemnos, to visit the uncouth-spoken Sintians.'"

So Ares went to Hephaestus' house and propositioned Aphrodite for sex on her bed. He is responsible for them having sex, if he had stayed away they would not have been caught in the net. Heck in greek society married women were kept away from non related men so Ares was breaking customs and vows. Now Aphrodite is just as responsible she should have said no every time Ares came around because I will point out,THEY HAD 4 KIDS, whether any or all of them were born before they were caught I don't know, but either she passed off someone else's kids as Hephaestus' or they continued their dalliance after they were caught and Zeus, in this story, forbid Hephaestus from divorcing her. So I would have no problem with a similar or worse punishment on her, but violence against women is frowned on especially when that violence is sexual violence. So it will probably be a stripping of her power or being forced into another lesser position.

Where? Where in her nature dose she have cheating? She is the goddess of love not just sex. None of the Gods knew she was schtupping Ares until Helios told Hephaestus. The cheating was her choice.

I wouldn't be surprised if in RL the cheating myth started from a Spartan myth. They worshipped Aphrodite Areia who was a Goddess of love and war. She was essentially all the things Sparta liked about war, where as Ares was all the things they hated. The Spartans probably saw them as a more natural parring then the more culturally accepted pairing of Aphrodite & Hephaestus. This is because you can't have all the good things about war without having all the bad things too.

Tech-Priest Khornelius 3:16: Apologies my lord but I do prefer the Spartan version of your wife more then the Iliad version of your wife.

Z3r0Sama · Apr 16, 2022

Patrick Holt said:
.

Where? Where in her nature dose she have cheating? She is the goddess of love not just sex. None of the Gods knew she was schtupping Ares until Helios told Hephaestus. The cheating was her choice.

She didn't love Heph

hkim · Apr 16, 2022

Mr Zoat said:
"I think… God of Eunuchs."

He brings the hammer down.

Ouch, right in Phobos and Deimos.

E: wait, are people arguing about canon again? Why?

Darko · Apr 16, 2022

Khornelius said:
Yes, after their first vertical tango, she wanted proof that he was really Zeus and ask to see his true face. So Zeus in all his wisdom showed her, and she died instantly. This ability is stated just two chapters ago. Technically Dionysus would only be a few days old at most when this happened.

I think Hera disguised herself and tricked her to demand to see Zeus' true face.

Splinterface said:
Why Kratos as a replacement for Ares? First thing I see when I click on the link is that he is a staunch supporter of Zeus' oppressive regime, and the second thing is that he likes to mock Prometheus and Hephaestus?

I think Kratos is less of a Zeus supporter and more of a might makes right supporter.

He supported Zeus because Zeus was the strongest, but now Heph is the strongest.

jonasquinn said:
and the Titanomachy was more the Gods doing to their Titans what Zeus did to his than an actual physical war that required him to fight

Yeah, according to Hecate it sounds like all the gods did was use their connection to the Titans to drain them.

Michael Vonica said:
He let his father, the man who crippled him and was the root cause of over half his sufferings, walk away. Either Ares did something worse to him, Heph is prideful to a previously unexplained degree, or he's just decided to be willful, and castrated the guy because he felt like it.

Maybe Zeus didn't torment him as much as Ares did so Heph didn't have as much of a grudge against him.

jonasquinn said:
Even if we assume that Gods don't come into existence with preexisting knowledge on how to use their abilities, which they very well could, Hephaestaen's new domain is very similar to his old one and he's been keeping up with technology despite it not being his domain for centuries

Plus he had help from Athena, a goddess connected to intellect and learning.

Xepeyon said:
Moreover you have shit as silly as Hephaestus hurting Zeus with plasma and talking about how Zeus doesn't understand science, which is dumb because Lightning is already plasma.

So not only does the scene not make sense, you have Hephaestus hurting Zeus with lightning and overriding one of the keystones of his own domain. The very premise sounds silly.

We're talking about a magic fight between two gods while a mortal with powerful rings is singing in the background.

None if it has to make that much sense.

Xepeyon said:
Moreover according to the Theogony, after Zeus reaches manhood, Cronus is made to disgorge the five children and the stone "by the stratagems of Gaia, but also by the skills and strength of Zeus. In the damned source material Zeus being skilled as well as strong is a fundamental part of his myth, yet none of that is present here. The story and many of the readers for some reason are treating Zeus like an unskilled idiot when none of that is true.

Except the Theogony may not be fully accurate to this story.

Or maybe Zeus just lost some of his skill since he hasn't really done much of anything in thousands of years.

Prognostic Hannya said:
Could you clarify on what the canon for this story is about the past relationship between Heph, Aphrodite, and Ares?

It's similar to the myths.

Cuchulin said:
In defense of Ares? Aphrodite also slept with Hermes and had a rather well known child by him

True, but Hermes may not have tormented and abused Heph as much and probably didn't sleep all that much with Aphrodite.

jonasquinn said:
I mean Zeus is kinda enforcing the marriage

Yeah, Heph apparently tried to get a divorce but it didn't work.

Khornelius · Apr 16, 2022

Darko said:
I think Hera disguised herself and tricked her to demand to see Zeus' true face.

Your right that is one interpretation of the myth. I admit that I don't remember every detail that well anymore. So there's a chance something's I've forgotten or have exaggerated by accident.

Tech-Priest Khornelius 3:16: Truthfully, most Greek Divines are guilt of crimes that modern morality judge to be horrible. Morality can shift greatly just between cultures, let alone cultures that existed a few thousand years ago. Let the Greek Divines arbitrate themselves, and let modern man judge his fellows.

_The_Bomb · Apr 16, 2022

sees an emerging debate on cultural relativism on an Internet forum

grabs popcorn

Assblaster5000 · Apr 16, 2022

_The_Bomb said:
sees an emerging debate on cultural relativism on an Internet forum

grabs popcorn

It's a bit more than emerging at this point. This has been going on for five-ish pages and easily 12+ hours.

DrThoth · Apr 16, 2022

Ganurath said:
Without further context, I'm going to assume that the ancient Greek myths are referring to pre-op trans men, with pre-op meaning before such surgeries existed in their case.

I'd say the closest example that would correspond to trans men in Greek myth (That I know of) is Caenis (who more people might recognize from their inclusion in Fate/Grand Order, albeit as a woman) who asked to become a man after Poseidon raped them, which he granted.
Now, given that he had male lovers too (consent optional, probably), it doesn't seem like the best defense, but it's a piece of myth/legend after all, and it might have been to deter people in general using the perceived strength of a man.
This isn't a perfect correlation by any means, of course, but perfectly categorizing ancient figures, whether fictional or real, into contemporary Western schema of gender and sexuality is never going to be perfect.

Regarding the fight and outcome, I agree that Zeus should have put up a better showing, and the process of transference of kingship of Olympus seems like it should have a bit more weight to it, like maybe the Fates should have shown up or something. Things ending quickly instead of a big battle against the antagonist due to the protagonists' preparations and this fic's focus on rationality can work (I like how they ended up getting rid of Klarion and Satanus as a threat in the Paragon timeline, as an example of this. Though the Renegade version of Klarion arguably also fits these principles and that was alright too). There's probably more updates that will deal with the new power structure though.
One thing that could be fun is that between Heph and Athena, maybe they'd set up some mystic Matrix-style virtual combat simulation/download training that he could use to improve his martial abilities.

I'm not sure if Mr Zoat has read An Undertow of Sand, Shujin's Percy Jackson/Cthulhu Mythos fusion fic, though I assume not, but it's kind of interesting to read both stories alongside each other as they're both currently regularly updated, and that one has a fair amount of exploration of Zeus's kingship and Athena's role as the king who usurped him in the past, in a play on the real-life mythical prophecy surrounding her birth. Athena would work as a co-ruler to Heph here (her child with Heph in the past was speculated to have possibly been able to become the God of Technology if he wasn't born in Ancient Greece) if they're willing to be modern and not include marriage as part of the deal, though either way she'll definitely be a senior advisor.

I wonder if Metis would be interested in the New Titans, and if Paragon would want to help her meet them. He's staying out of their current post-civil war restructuring, sure, but since a lot of the OG Titans are going to be pardoned and freed in some capacity.

I'd like to see Hippolyta taking a more active role outside Themyscira as the Goddess of Battle- she's the more interesting decision narratively than Kratos, as the latter hasn't shown up in this fic. I do wonder if this overthrow of Ares will have any knock-on metaphysical effects for Astarte and her daughter, who are currently ravaging worlds as the Citizenry even though Paragon could stop it fairly easily and instantly and it would also be in-character since he has very personal motivations due to his ties to Themyscira (and I'd be interested in seeing alternate approaches to dealing with the Citizenry, since I don't think Paragon would immediately jump to Lethe-water as the solution). It's probably clear that I think that this not happening yet in the paragon timeline is a bit forced, along with the lack of the Scarab being in play, even if it's Ted actively experimenting with it himself or with his Atlantean employees or something.

I think Hippolyta could probably manage both being a god and being the queen of Themyscira, since I feel like Diana has enough going on as the Greek hero-champion and member of the Justice League. And Kon and Mitchell aren't old enough to assume the role properly, though Philippus could very well be regent in the meantime. Would be nice if this shake-up to the status quo also got her and Hippolyta actually together- feels like that would be a fun joint project for Aphrodite and Eris, or something that Ghi'ata can do so I don't forget that she's around in the Paragon timeline too, 90% of the time.

Mr Zoat · Apr 16, 2022

Coda said:
Semicolon.

Thank you, corrected.

Mr Zoat · Apr 16, 2022

Prognostic Hannya said:
Could you clarify on what the canon for this story is about the past relationship between Heph, Aphrodite, and Ares?

Roughly, Aphrodite was generally considered such a catch that it was causing feuds amongst the Olympians. Partly to get her out of the way and partly as a jibe, Zeus married her to Hephaestus, something that the law and custom of the time allowed him to do. Hephaestus wasn't thrilled, but decided to try and make it work. Aphrodite took one look at him and decided that she wouldn't. Ares wasn't her only lover, just the most regular one.

Please bear in mind that what ancient Greeks wrote about their gods isn't necessarily what actually happened in this story.

hkim said:
Ouch, right in Phobos and Deimos.

E: wait, are people arguing about canon again? Why?

No, they're arguing about different cultural mores; the absolute freedom people take as their right in modern Western society and the duty and obligation that defined proper behaviour in Ancient Greece.

Mr Zoat · Apr 16, 2022

28th October 2012
17:11 GMT +3

I smile as a familiar figure comes into pseudo-sight.

"Di-."

"Why are they cheering, Paul?"

"You know why. But if you really want me to spell it out?" My vision substitute doesn't reliably show me subtle facial expression, so I can't tell exactly what her response is. "Zeus is no longer parasitizing on them."

"You promised me-."

"I didn't! I stood out of the way and sang an insulting song! You want me to do the lasso again?"

"Do you mean to say that you talked Zeus into amending his ways?"

"Diana, I'm a Lantern, not a miracle worker. He's still alive, but he's not in charge of Olympus any longer which means that you're out."

"I am not even going to ask how-. You expect me to leave the titans unguarded while they grow in power?"

"Sure. They're still trapped by the nature of Tartarus and the Hekatonkheires can keep an eye on things. And the only thing that Cronus has done in living memory is create Donna and Deva. Do you think those were evil acts?"

"It is a great risk-."

"Was creating two daughters an evil act?"

She doesn't immediately respond, instead rising off the ground and flying towards the Gates of Tartarus. I give her a moment and then follow along behind her at a respectful distance.

"Who rules Olympus now?"

"Hephaestaean."

I can hear her either sigh or just take a deep breath.

"Explain."

"You remember that stuff with Richard Simpson, where he was trying to change himself into a God of Technology?"

"You put Hephaestus through that process."

"Hephaestus volunteered to go through the process after we workshopped it with Hecate, Eris and Athena."

She slows slightly at the mention of Athena, but I doubt that she's really surprised.

"So really he's become everything a forward-thinking pantheon needs their leader to be: stronger and with none of the weaknesses of his former self."

"And what of Zeus?"

"Cast down until he gains a decent understanding of meteorology. In the material world he's limited to avatar power, and he's got no titans boosting him any more. Oh, and obviously we freed Metis."

"At least that explains Lady Athena's support."

"I don't know. She's rather fond of you, too."

And there's the door. Diana and I push through to see Hephaestaean completing his divine cybermancy on Akhlys, mechadendrites whirring and clicking as they replace weak flesh with elegant machinery. She… Her gold-tinted flesh glows as the implanted arcane circuitry twists her nature to reflect the technological improvements humanity has made to medicine and healthcare since the days of Ancient Greece. Her robotic eyes shift and focus, taking in her new body.

Hephaestaean points to her left hand.

"As you can see, I focused your aura of ill-health through your left hand. You'll need to discharge it once a month or so, but you can do that ritually rather than by personal contact."

"I understand, Lord."

Hephaestaean nods in satisfaction, two servo arms with cameras already pointing at Diana and me as we land.

"Diana. You are free to go, unless there is anything in Tartarus that requires my immediate attention."

"No, Lord Hephaest-. Aean."

Hephaestaean smiles. "Don't worry. I'm not entirely used to it myself."

"What commands do you have for me?"

"None. Unless you feel like undergoing apotheosis, in which case I'm sure I could find some work for you."

"I think it best if I remain mortal for now, Lord. Quite aside from the responsibility of raising my sons-" She glances at me. "-I have concerns what might happen if I left the material world."

"Wise of you. In that case, continue your mission as Wonder Woman with my blessing. I'll put some new armour together for you once I have the free time; my capacities now are far in advance of what they used to be."

"If I may ask, what plans do you have now that you rule Olympus?"

"I intend to modernise. Every significant figure in our mythos will have to maintain their domain and encourage proselytism or get replaced like a broken part."

"Does that include me, nephew?"

Hades strikes out of the darkness in… What I assume to be his full raiment. Never actually seen him wearing it before. Zagreus lurks behind him, still fully tooled up.

"Technically, yes. But you're doing a fine job, Uncle, and Thana is already trying to convert people at your instruction. I would appreciate you giving me a full briefing, but I fully expect to find that you are the most engaged of our people."

Hades nods. "I can brief you at your-"

A plume of rose petals erupts from thin air, spraying red and pink flakes across the desolate landscape. And emerging from the centre is…

"-convenience."

An entrancingly beautiful woman in the prime of her life, striding elegantly towards Hephaestaean with a smile barely concealing her desire.

Hephaestaean pulls his mechadendrites in. "Aphrodite."

"Dear husband. Is it true? Have you overthrown Zeus?"

Hephaestaean shakes his head. "It is, but I haven't changed my mind. You had no more desire to marry me than I did you."

"That-." She looks away, at least decent enough to feel shame. At being caught out, at least. "I…"

"I declare us to be divorced. We both know that you prefer Ares; go to him now with my blessing. He was on Olympus when last I saw him."

She strikes a pose that displays her physical charms to greatest effect without quite crossing the line into full-on harlotry.

"Are you certain?"

"Yes. Quite certain."

She shrugs, running her eyes over him. "Let me know if you change your mind."

The petals are sucked in towards her, vanishing as she does.

"Bitch."

I smirk, raising my right hand to my forehead. "If you'll excuse me, I'll go and give everyone the good news."

Hephaestaean nods and I

step out, reappearing

28th October 2012
09:15 GMT -5

in the Mountain. I-.

"Oh. Hey, Paul." Captain Marvel smiles at me. "Ah, I wouldn't ask, but Ollie always said that if anything weird happened I should probably talk to you first, so… I am."

"What's up?"

"My transformation isn't working. I'm… Kinda stuck?" He looks at me hopefully. "You got any ideas?"

DAT_NOOB · Apr 16, 2022

Ooop, Paul probably should've seen that coming... Looks like Vaermina was at least partially correct.
EDIT:

Mr Zoat said:
"I intend to modernise. Every significant figure in our mythos will have to maintain their domain and encourage proselytism or get replaced like a broken part."

Hold up this seems like it should be more... concerning...

RichardWhereat · Apr 16, 2022

Mr Zoat said:
"My transformation isn't working. I'm… Kinda stuck?" He looks at me hopefully. "You got any ideas?"

Yep, time to talk to Shazam to see about getting a new patron.

SebazuD · Apr 16, 2022

Right, the Z from SHAZAM was from Zeus.

AmericanNumbers · Apr 16, 2022

SHAHAM!
Lol. Bit weird.
Billy getting a cyberpunk update to his kit as well?

BlueMangoAdea · Apr 16, 2022

Time to find an optimal god for Captain Marvel.

Silverias · Apr 16, 2022

"Try Sha-am"

Greydragon · Apr 16, 2022

RichardWhereat said:
Yep, time to talk to Shazam to see about getting a new patron.

Just needs to be reformatted. Hercules is defunct too. So it should now be Hephaestaean and Zagreus instead of Herc and Zeus. Wonder how it'd change his transformation... less magical lightning for one.

Darko · Apr 16, 2022

Mr Zoat said:
And the only thing that Cronus has done in living memory is create Donna and Deva. Do you think those were evil acts?"

Well the fact that he made them to do evil things kinda is an evil act.

Mr Zoat said:
At least that explains Lady Athena's support."

"I don't know. She's rather fond of you, too

Plus she may be fond of Heph.

Mr Zoat said:
"I intend to modernise. Every significant figure in our mythos will have to maintain their domain and encourage proselytism or get replaced like a broken part."

"Does that include me, nephew?"

Hades strikes out of the darkness in… What I assume to be his full raiment. Never actually seen him wearing it before. Zagreus lurks behind him, still fully tooled up

Hmm, maybe he's expecting a fight with Heph.

Mr Zoat said:
with a smiles barely concealing her desire.

'smile'

Mr Zoat said:
"I declare us to be divorced. We both know that you prefer Ares; go to him now with my blessing. He was on Olympus when last I saw him."

She strikes a pose that displays her physical charms to greatest effect without quite crossing the line into full-on harlotry.

"Are you certain?"

"Yes. Quite certain."

She shrugs, running her eyes over him. "Let me know if you change your mind."

The petals are sucked it towards her, vanishing as she does

Hope she likes the new Ares.

Mr Zoat said:
in the Mountain. I-.

"Oh. Hey, Paul." Captain Marvel smiles at me. "Ah, I wouldn't ask, but Ollie always said that if anything weird happened I should probably talk to you first, so… I am."

"What's up?"

"My transformation isn't working. I'm… Kinda stuck?" He looks at me hopefully. "You got any ideas

And there's the consequences.

Mr Zoat said:
Ollie always said that if anything weird happened I should probably talk to you first, so… I am."

Paul is the resident expert on weird.

I'm honestly picturing Paul telling Billy to just stay in this state since he may think that it's more useful than his mortal one.

Darko · Apr 16, 2022

Greydragon said:
Just needs to be reformatted. Hercules is defunct too. So it should now be Hephaestaean and Zagreus instead of Herc and Zeus. Wonder how it'd change his transformation... less magical lightning for one.

Assuming that Heph gets rid off Herakles.

And I doubt that Zagreus can provide the Power and Strength aspect of the powerset.

Heph could provide power and Billy may not lose the magic lighting since Heph is a god of machines and electricity is a part of machines.

Handlewithcare · Apr 16, 2022

Silverias said:
"Try Sha-am"

Sounds bri'ish

As benefitting a god of progress, Heph gets to work improving immediately, which is great

We could get him a motherbox as a coronation gift, seems very fitting and he might rigure out how to make more.

But...

DAT_NOOB said:
Hold up this seems like it should be more... concerning...

Yeah, he is going to need a Queen/Consort of a more humanising domain or things could get ugly.

The last thing we want is a voice from the clouds announcing WE ARE THE GODS. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

theaceoffire · Apr 16, 2022

AmericanNumbers said:
SHAHAM!
Lol. Bit weird.
Billy getting a cyberpunk update to his kit as well?

Holy fuck that would be an upgrade!

//You mean instead of the being struck by lightning shit I now...

Yes you now turn into a transformer.

Chojin Patriarch · Apr 16, 2022

Mr Zoat said:
28th October 2012
17:11 GMT +3

I smile as a familiar figure comes into pseudo-sight.

"Di-."

Oh, boy, this is going to be good. They'll be able to hear her facepalms clear to the surface. It's amazing how quickly the world can change in a couple of days. Still, most will be happy for the improvements, once they get over the shock.

"Why are they cheering, Paul?"

"You know why. But if you really want me to spell it out?" My vision substitute doesn't reliably show me subtle facial expression, so I can't tell exactly what her response is. "Zeus is no longer parasitizing on them."

...Did she even know that was a thing? I've already forgotten if OL mentioned it last time he checked on her.

"You promised me-."

"I didn't! I stood out of the way and sung an insulting song! You want me to do the lasso again?"

Given how he weaselled his way around that last promise, I doubt she'd believe him even with that.

"Do you mean to say that you talked Zeus into amending his ways?"

"Diana, I'm a Lantern, not a miracle worker. He's still alive, but he's not in charge of Olympus any longer which means that you're out."

You'd have to be a full-on epic-level diplomancer to convince Zeus of something, I suspect.

"I am not even going to ask how-. You expect me to leave the titans unguarded while they grow in power?"

"Sure. They're still trapped by the nature of Tartarus and the Hekatonkheires can keep an eye on things. And the only thing that Cronus has done in living memory is create Donna and Deva. Do you think those were evil acts?"

And there's always the possibility of them petitioning for parole.

"It is a great risk-."

"Was creating two daughters an evil act?"

...He's got you there, Diana.

She doesn't immediately respond, instead rising off the ground and flying towards the Gates of Tartarus. I give her a moment and then follow along behind her at a respectful distance.

"Who rules Olympus now?"

I can already hear her resigned mental sigh.

"Hephaestaean."

I can hear her either sigh or just take a deep breath.

"-Taean? Oh Athena, what did he do?" She'll feel like Rip Van Winkle, at this rate, I bet.

"Explain."

"You remember that stuff with Richard Simpson, where he was trying to change himself into a God of Technology?"

Since, even if she wasn't directly involved, she does read League mission reports. Especially anything involving OL...

"You put Hephaestus through that process."

"Hephaestus volunteered to go through the process after we workshopped it with Hecate, Eris and Athena."

Yes, just a casual little thing. Though hearing Hecate and Eris were involved is probably not reassuring to her.

She slows slightly at the mention of Athena, but I doubt that she's really surprised.

"So really he's become everything a forward-thinking pantheon needs their leader to be; stronger and with none of the weaknesses of his former self."

And he's got a completely normal libido, so no worrying about random demigods turning up... At least from him.

"And what of Zeus?"

"Cast down until he gains a decent understanding of meteorology. In the material world he's limited to avatar power, and he's got no titans boosting him any more. Oh, and obviously we freed Metis."

...A thought: Will Zeus have any kind of legal identity in modern culture? Or will he seek out a suitable ally to handle that sort of fiddly details. Ploutos, perhaps.

"At least that explains Lady Athena's support."

"I don't know. She's rather fond of you, too."

She was kind of upset about Diana's effective exile.

And there's the door. Diana and I push through to see Hephaestaean completing his divine cybermancy on Akhlys, mechadendrites whirring and clicking as they replace weak flesh with elegant machinery. She… Her gold-tinted flesh glows as the implanted arcane circuitry twists her nature to reflect the technological improvements humanity has made to medicine and healthcare since the days of Ancient Greece. Her robotic eyes shift and focus, taking in her new body.

Ooh, that's one way to get around a body that basically suffers all the world's diseases at once.

Hephaestaean points to her left hand.

"As you can see, I focused your aura of ill-health through your left hand. You'll need to discharge it once a month of so, but you can do that ritually rather than by personal contact."

No doubt the rest of her new body is fully functional as if it were living flesh, other than the immunity to disease.

"I understand, Lord."

Hephaestaean nods in satisfaction, two servo arms with camera already pointing at Diana and me as we land.

Wait until he discovers the concept of remote drones. Extra comedy points if he makes them look like robotic skulls...

"Diana. You are free to go, unless there is anything in Tartarus that requires my immediate attention."

"No, Lord Hephaest-. Aean."

I bet a lot of the gods are doing that little half-mistake for a while.

Hephaestaean smiles. "Don't worry. I'm not entirely used to it myself."

"What commands do you have for me?"

Since the Wonder Woman is champion of the Olympians amongst the people of Man's World, even if that's been forgotten over the years.

"None. Unless you feel like undergoing apotheosis, in which case I'm sure I could find some work for you."

"I think it best if I remain mortal for now, Lord. Quite aside from the responsibility of raising my sons-" She glances at me. "-I have concerns what might happen if I left the material world."

And OL is just, "That's fair." Even the gods might underestimate just how big a headache he can be at times.

"Wise of you. In that case, continue your mission as Wonder Woman with my blessing. I'll put some new armour together for you once I have the free time; my capacities now are far in advance of what they used to be."

"If I may ask, what plans do you have now that you rule Olympus?"

'Wonder Woman'-themed Power Armour? And why can't I help but picture something like the Eagle armour?

"I intend to modernise. Every significant figure in our mythos will have to maintain their domain and encourage proselytism or get replaced like a broken part."

"Does that include me, nephew?"

Oh, that's an amusing image.
"Now, Dionysius, I see you haven't really increased your Worship market share in the last quarter..."
"People can only get so drunk, Phaeste."
"Have you considered expanding to other recreational drugs?"
"Not Cocaine, thank you. That's already got a God, and he's... Just don't ask."

Hades strikes out of the darkness in… What I assume to be his full raiment. Never actually seen him wearing it before. Zagreus lurks behind him, still fully tooled up.

"Technically, yes. But you're doing a fine job, Uncle, and Thana is already trying to convert people at your instruction. I would appreciate you giving me a full briefing, but I fully expect to find that you are the most engaged of our people."

Ah, good. Hades can basically carry on as he has been.

Hades nods. "I can brief you at your-"

A plume of rose petals erupts from thin air, spraying red and pink flakes across the desolate landscape. And emerging from the centre is…

"-convenience."

Oh, here comes trouble.

An entrancingly beautiful woman in the prime of her life, striding elegantly towards Hephaestaean with a smiles barely concealing her desire.

Hephaestaean pulls his mechadendrites in. "Aphrodite."

Ah, here comes the Cow, sniffing about for her assumed Queendom.

"Dear husband. Is it true? Have you overthrown Zeus?"

Hephaestaean shakes his head. "It is, but I haven't changed my mind. You had no more desire to marry me than I did you."

Not even touching that one. Unlike her and a good chunk of the Pantheon (and more than a few mortals.)

"That-." She looks away, at least decent enough to feel shame. At being caught out, at least. "I…"

"I declare us to be divorced. We both know that you prefer Ares; go to him now with my blessing. He was on Olympus when last I saw him."

...I hope Ares can learn to be good with his fingers and tongue.

Because she's probably not going to be happy with the state of other parts...

She strikes a pose that displays her physical charms to greatest effect without quite crossing the line into full-on harlotry.

"Are you certain?"

Ah, the classic 'No, no, it's totally not porn!' dividing line.

"Yes. Quite certain."

She shrugs, running her eyes over him. "Let me know if you change your mind."

...He won't.

The petals are sucked it towards her, vanishing as she does.

"Bitch."

I know it's Hephaestaean saying it, but I can imagine everyone else present thinking it... Though not with quite so much anger.

I smirk, raising my right hand to my forehead. "If you'll excuse me, I'll go and give everyone the good news."

Hephaestaean nods and I

step out, reappearing

"Kon, Mitch, good news! Your ma's off the hook!" Wonder how they'll react to hearing about the whole 'overthrowing Zeus' bit...

28th October 2012
09:15 GMT -5

in the Mountain. I-.

"Oh. Hey, Paul." Captain Marvel smiles at me. "Ah, I wouldn't ask, but Ollie always said that if anything weird happened I should probably talk to you first, so… I am."

...Ah, right. I bet Zeus is having a bit of a hissy fit about the use of his power...

"What's up?"

"My transformation isn't working. I'm… Kinda stuck?" He looks at me hopefully. "You got any ideas?"

Better call magi-tech support.

Well, looks like there's going to be a few bugs turning up in the works for a while. That happens with a big update to the operating system. Looks like OL'll have to handle a bit of trouble-shooting until Hephaestaean can push out a patch. Thankfully, he works weekends.

At any rate, I'm guessing a trip to the Rock of Eternity is in order to let Shazam know he's going to have to update his divine-patronage user licence.
(And all that discussion pushed us over 1700 pages. Hooray?)

The petals are sucked it towards her, vanishing as she does.

The petals are sucked in towards her, vanishing as she does.

theaceoffire said:
Holy fuck that would be an upgrade!

//You mean instead of the being struck by lightning shit I now...

Yes you now turn into a transformer.

Billy: "Woo, sweet!"
Not the first time something like that's been done.

BlackCoat13 · Apr 16, 2022

Darko said:
I'm honestly picturing Paul telling Billy to just stay in this state since he may think that it's more useful than his mortal one.

Of course not. Paul understands Desires. Obviously him being stuck is an issue because it's not what he wants. Also, he helped cause the situation anyways, so he should be part of the solution.

DarkBlackJack · Apr 16, 2022

SHABAM!
B from Bast or Bacchus or Bes.

Darko · Apr 16, 2022

Chojin Patriarch said:
, boy, this is going to be good. They'll be able to hear her facepalms clear to the surface

Now I'm picturing Diana becoming the Goddess of Earthquakes, and everytime an earthquake happens it's her facepalming to something Paul has done.

Chojin Patriarch said:
Did she even know that was a thing? I've already forgotten if OL mentioned it last time he checked on her

She may know after Oceanus.

Chojin Patriarch said:
He's got you there, Diana.

Though Cronos did make them to cause destruction.

Chojin Patriarch said:
And OL is just, "That's fair." Even the gods might underestimate just how big a headache he can be at times.

Though I think they won't after this.

Chojin Patriarch said:
Oh, that's an amusing image.
"Now, Dionysius, I see you haven't really increased your Worship market share in the last quarter..."
"People can only get so drunk, Phaeste."
"Have you considered expanding to other recreational drugs?"
"Not Cocaine, thank you. That's already got a God, and he's... Just don't ask."

Now I'm thinking that Dionysus will come to Paul and ask him to help him take down the Cocainne God.

I just really wanna see Snowflame.

Though I am reminded of a plot line in See No Evil where the MC works with Snowflame and has his God make cocainne that isn't harmful to people so that it can be legalized and this spread further.

Chojin Patriarch said:
...I hope Ares can learn to be good with his fingers and tongue. Because she's probably not going to be happy with the state of other parts

Who knows; maybe she has a fetish for mushy things.

Bud-E · Apr 16, 2022

A plume of rose petals erupts from thin air, spraying red and pink flakes across the desolate landscape. And emerging from the centre is…

Aphrodite, Aphrodite, Aphrodite~ The Goddes of Love

Sojiko · Apr 16, 2022

Mr Zoat said:
I cast you into exile until such time as you graduate with a Masters in Meteorology. Only then may you return to Olympus.

That punishment is positively hilarious.

Mr Zoat said:
"I think… God of Eunuchs."

He brings the hammer down.

That one not so much, albeit much more in line with what I was expecting.

Mr Zoat said:
"I declare us to be divorced. We both know that you prefer Ares; go to him now with my blessing. He was on Olympus when last I saw him."

OK, that doesn't retroactively make Ares's punishment funny, but said punishment is what made this line hilarious. So I'll give it points for that too (on top of being fitting and satisfying).

And an old correction:

Mr Zoat said:
-and swing it through a parademon who dives at me, claws extended. He attempts to parry my swing with his claws, and has them sliced off as a result, He lands, dumbly staring at the bleeding stubs of his severed digits for a moment before I create a fusion cannon construct on my right forearm and shoot him in the head.

I'm pretty sure the comma in there should be a period, but maybe it's something else.

Hell's Razer · Apr 16, 2022

A correction:

Mr Zoat said:
You'll need to discharge it once a month of so

"or"

Darko said:
Now I'm picturing Diana becoming the Goddess of Earthquakes, and every time an earthquake happens it's her facepalming to something Paul has done.

Bwahahahaha!

RichardWhereat · Apr 16, 2022

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zanahary

This is a creator God, with a sky domain. Power and lightning, with a chance to reexert another Pantheon to modern life.

With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Overlord of the Underworld

Not too sore, are you?

Know what you're doing yet?

Connoisseur.

Overlord of the Underworld

Know what you're doing yet?

I trust you know where the happy button is?

I trust you know where the happy button is?

Dedicated ragequitter

Dedicated ragequitter

Dedicated ragequitter

Accused of writing in a far away land

Aia airëa Fëanáro.

Experienced.

Not too sore, are you?

Alive. For now.

Know what you're doing yet?

Making the rounds.

Connoisseur.

Connoisseur.

Versed in the lewd.

Versed in the lewd.

Veteran Lurker

I trust you know where the happy button is?

What is motivation and why is it keep decreasing

Connoisseur.

Stand up so I can push you down!

Getting sticky.

Passive Member

Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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