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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)
- Thread starter Mr Zoat
- Start date
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- Tags
- self insert young justice
Pinklestia
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In the comics she seemed to have some gun playing Hero with Spike even if it was offscreen.
Coda
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This is what it's been the whole time.
Ken World
Mr Zoat
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Ken World
12th July 2023
01:10 Local Time
At the risk of sounding like I've absorbed entirely too much local culture, I can't help but have a little skip in my step. Another success. Another group of oppressed people convinced that they can be more than they are. And another group sneaking into the back of the evacuation lorry to begin a new life somewhere where they can be more than their horribly misandrist society would allow them to be.
And based on normal response times I've still got a good half an hour before the bane of my existence turns up. And we should all be long gone by then.
I knock on the cab door, and a balaclava-covered head sticks out of the window.
"Boss?"
Professional driving is one of the few occupations the men of this blighted land are allowed to perform, so I could recruit help for that part of the job relatively easily. Trucker Ken is still maintaining his cover as… Well, as Trucker Ken, but he's happy to spend his free time freeing his brethren. Since the truck is the only thing he's had for the majority of his life that actually makes him happy, I…
Just made myself a little depressed thinking that sentence.
"I think you're about loaded. I'll check for waverers and then give you another knock."
"Ten-four, boss."
I stroll down the side of the lorry. This is a major life decision, and it's not surprising that even those Kens -and occasional Bens and Ryans and Randys- who are receptive to the idea aren't immediately willing to abandon their lives to jump in the back of a dilapidated lorry on my say-so. Even after seeing what Kens could achieve under Sigma Ken's leadership. And some are so unused to making their own decisions that they lack the will. But tonight, it looks like Farmer Ken is getting talked out of it by Gardener Ken and Gardener Ken Two.
"…even show us what it's like over there, man."
"So it's a challenge. That's the whole point. Do you want to spend the rest of your lives rearranging your Barbie's flowerbeds because she's changed her mind again? Because I want to farm animals that don't just look cute, but taste good too!"
"Gentlemen?" The three of them turn to me. "Is there any information you want me to give you?"
Farmer Ken shakes his head regretfully. "No. I think we're done here." He clambers up into the back of the lorry, Catwalk Ken giving him a hand up.
I nod, focusing my attention on the farmers. "No pressure guys, but we're not going to be coming back this way for about a year. In or out."
Gardener Ken Two turns away immediately, while Gardener Ken One spends a few moments looking at the lorry before shaking his head.
"Alright. You know where we meet if you need to talk to someone."
I turn away and close the rear doors of the lorry, trapping those Kens who are making the journey inside. Slide the locking mechanism in place and then-.
"Boss! Problem!"
Hot Nerd Ken dashes over, some sort of beeping computer tablet in his hands.
"I'm picking up a pressure wave and it's… It's her, isn't it?"
I check the reading, but there's only one other possibility and that clearly isn't Fighter Pilot Barbie. Just doing her pre-flight checks would take longer than this. But how did-?
A flash of brightly coloured hair in a nearby copse of trees suddenly clears that up. The two young sidekicks realise that I've spotted them immediately and duck back before turning to run.
No point chasing them. Damage already done.
"Hot Nerd Ken, get in the cab. Tell Trucker Ken to drive safely and to avoid drawing attention."
"But-but she's coming!
"Won't be the first time. I'll hold her attention. Go."
He sprints, and a moment later I hear the door open and then slam closed.
Right. I close my eyes for a moment, focusing my mind on the obligate-platonic fraternal love I feel from the community I've helped build. I think this is how the Zamarons do it as well, but as I launch myself into the air and towards the oncoming pressure wave it's the guys I'm thinking of.
She's got better vision than me, of course, and I'm not going to waste time on a detailed scan. I know what she looks like, and I need to focus on the shield and cudgel I'm going to be using in this fight.
Okay, yes, she's heading for me. I go for height and fly… Left, away from the direction Trucker Ken will be driving. Not too fast, don't want anyone to think that I'm trying to get away or anything, but not so slow that I can't evade when she-.
Evade!
Superhero Barbie zooms past, right fist reducing the edge of my shield to dust!
"Morning, Super Sparkle."
She turns, using her flight to arrest her momentum. She got super agility as part of her power package, and I know from painfully won experience that her three dimensional awareness is flawless.
"That's not my name. What are you doing here, Brown Haired Ken?"
I can't help but smile. "Your hypocrisy never ceases to amuse me, Super Sparkle."
She draws her right hand back, a glowing pink ball forming at her fingertips.
"Are you kidnapping Kens?"
"I am not committing any crime. Which I imagine is why President Barbie sent you instead of Policewoman Bar-."
"That's Police Barbie!" She puts her hands on her hips. "And where is your assigned Barbie!?"
I shrug. "I honestly don't know. So far I mostly prefer the company of Kens anyway."
Which technically isn't a male/female distinction. I'm pretty sure that I'm the only one on this planet with reproductive organs.
"You should not be doing this."
"You're not this stupid, Super Sparkle. Try and be a little empathetic. How would you feel if you were treated like you treat your Ken?"
"Anyone who tried that would be very sorry."
I wait, but she's just doing that nearly-scowling thing that appears to serve as her war-face.
"Well, that's how just about every Barbie treats just about every Ken. And the Kens don't have super powers, so they're just deciding to leave. If you-."
"But Kens aren't Barbies. They're accessories. They're… Kens!"
"I'm sorry that you-."
Her head explodes! The echoing bang of the anti-material rifle shot reaches me a moment later as her body begins to fall to the ground.
W-what?
"Gotcha, bitch!"
Shit, track and down, landing just in front of the.. gynoid in the camouflage gear who's disassembling her gun.
"What, that was supposed to be a false flag?"
"Nah, brah." She pulls off her balaclava shows… A Barbie-like but legally distinct face. "SAS Sindy at chor service. Dun't seem loik bein' Ken's werkin' awt for yah. How's abaht bein' a Paul?"
"Oh… Kay?"
12th July 2023
01:10 Local Time
At the risk of sounding like I've absorbed entirely too much local culture, I can't help but have a little skip in my step. Another success. Another group of oppressed people convinced that they can be more than they are. And another group sneaking into the back of the evacuation lorry to begin a new life somewhere where they can be more than their horribly misandrist society would allow them to be.
And based on normal response times I've still got a good half an hour before the bane of my existence turns up. And we should all be long gone by then.
I knock on the cab door, and a balaclava-covered head sticks out of the window.
"Boss?"
Professional driving is one of the few occupations the men of this blighted land are allowed to perform, so I could recruit help for that part of the job relatively easily. Trucker Ken is still maintaining his cover as… Well, as Trucker Ken, but he's happy to spend his free time freeing his brethren. Since the truck is the only thing he's had for the majority of his life that actually makes him happy, I…
Just made myself a little depressed thinking that sentence.
"I think you're about loaded. I'll check for waverers and then give you another knock."
"Ten-four, boss."
I stroll down the side of the lorry. This is a major life decision, and it's not surprising that even those Kens -and occasional Bens and Ryans and Randys- who are receptive to the idea aren't immediately willing to abandon their lives to jump in the back of a dilapidated lorry on my say-so. Even after seeing what Kens could achieve under Sigma Ken's leadership. And some are so unused to making their own decisions that they lack the will. But tonight, it looks like Farmer Ken is getting talked out of it by Gardener Ken and Gardener Ken Two.
"…even show us what it's like over there, man."
"So it's a challenge. That's the whole point. Do you want to spend the rest of your lives rearranging your Barbie's flowerbeds because she's changed her mind again? Because I want to farm animals that don't just look cute, but taste good too!"
"Gentlemen?" The three of them turn to me. "Is there any information you want me to give you?"
Farmer Ken shakes his head regretfully. "No. I think we're done here." He clambers up into the back of the lorry, Catwalk Ken giving him a hand up.
I nod, focusing my attention on the farmers. "No pressure guys, but we're not going to be coming back this way for about a year. In or out."
Gardener Ken Two turns away immediately, while Gardener Ken One spends a few moments looking at the lorry before shaking his head.
"Alright. You know where we meet if you need to talk to someone."
I turn away and close the rear doors of the lorry, trapping those Kens who are making the journey inside. Slide the locking mechanism in place and then-.
"Boss! Problem!"
Hot Nerd Ken dashes over, some sort of beeping computer tablet in his hands.
"I'm picking up a pressure wave and it's… It's her, isn't it?"
I check the reading, but there's only one other possibility and that clearly isn't Fighter Pilot Barbie. Just doing her pre-flight checks would take longer than this. But how did-?
A flash of brightly coloured hair in a nearby copse of trees suddenly clears that up. The two young sidekicks realise that I've spotted them immediately and duck back before turning to run.
No point chasing them. Damage already done.
"Hot Nerd Ken, get in the cab. Tell Trucker Ken to drive safely and to avoid drawing attention."
"But-but she's coming!
"Won't be the first time. I'll hold her attention. Go."
He sprints, and a moment later I hear the door open and then slam closed.
Right. I close my eyes for a moment, focusing my mind on the obligate-platonic fraternal love I feel from the community I've helped build. I think this is how the Zamarons do it as well, but as I launch myself into the air and towards the oncoming pressure wave it's the guys I'm thinking of.
She's got better vision than me, of course, and I'm not going to waste time on a detailed scan. I know what she looks like, and I need to focus on the shield and cudgel I'm going to be using in this fight.
Okay, yes, she's heading for me. I go for height and fly… Left, away from the direction Trucker Ken will be driving. Not too fast, don't want anyone to think that I'm trying to get away or anything, but not so slow that I can't evade when she-.
Evade!
Superhero Barbie zooms past, right fist reducing the edge of my shield to dust!
"Morning, Super Sparkle."
She turns, using her flight to arrest her momentum. She got super agility as part of her power package, and I know from painfully won experience that her three dimensional awareness is flawless.
"That's not my name. What are you doing here, Brown Haired Ken?"
I can't help but smile. "Your hypocrisy never ceases to amuse me, Super Sparkle."
She draws her right hand back, a glowing pink ball forming at her fingertips.
"Are you kidnapping Kens?"
"I am not committing any crime. Which I imagine is why President Barbie sent you instead of Policewoman Bar-."
"That's Police Barbie!" She puts her hands on her hips. "And where is your assigned Barbie!?"
I shrug. "I honestly don't know. So far I mostly prefer the company of Kens anyway."
Which technically isn't a male/female distinction. I'm pretty sure that I'm the only one on this planet with reproductive organs.
"You should not be doing this."
"You're not this stupid, Super Sparkle. Try and be a little empathetic. How would you feel if you were treated like you treat your Ken?"
"Anyone who tried that would be very sorry."
I wait, but she's just doing that nearly-scowling thing that appears to serve as her war-face.
"Well, that's how just about every Barbie treats just about every Ken. And the Kens don't have super powers, so they're just deciding to leave. If you-."
"But Kens aren't Barbies. They're accessories. They're… Kens!"
"I'm sorry that you-."
Her head explodes! The echoing bang of the anti-material rifle shot reaches me a moment later as her body begins to fall to the ground.
W-what?
"Gotcha, bitch!"
Shit, track and down, landing just in front of the.. gynoid in the camouflage gear who's disassembling her gun.
"What, that was supposed to be a false flag?"
"Nah, brah." She pulls off her balaclava shows… A Barbie-like but legally distinct face. "SAS Sindy at chor service. Dun't seem loik bein' Ken's werkin' awt for yah. How's abaht bein' a Paul?"
"Oh… Kay?"
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Katillno
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Ok I actually really like this so are they like an artificial species or something meant to preserve human culture in someway or did their species somehow naturally evolve physically and culturally into this? Would love to see more
The Froggy Ninja
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Might just be a vague alternate dimension unspecifically linked to the human imagination through a corporate brand like in the movie.
thebishop8
Umm, ackchyually...
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This seems to be based on a cartoon. Did the movie that just released inspire Zoat to write this, or is that just a coincidence?
moralrelativity
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Zoat's riff on the new Barbie movie.
Bigking321
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Isn't this explicitly based on the movie? Why do people think it's about something else?
It even mentions sigma Ken, which I assume is a direct reference to movie events.
It even mentions sigma Ken, which I assume is a direct reference to movie events.
moralrelativity
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Having just seen the new Barbie movie: Bravo, Mr Zoat
dw7thdoctor
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I'm interested enough to see more of this. Sadly the main story has been dragging and seeing how this world/universe functions would be fascinating. I'm never going to watch the movie so I hope to see where this goes. I also hope this Paul is going to find a way off this nutty world because it sounds like a planet of unisex and/gynoids if alien life in this reality is anything like popular fiction i.e. that there are humanoids out there it would probably be better for his mental health. I know mental health isn't always at the top of Paul's list of priorities, but this so like a very disturbing world. Liking living in the world of androids from the Star Trek episode I Mudd
Chojin Patriarch
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...Huh. Interestingly timely variant, and an entirely appropriate Ring colour for such a place. Certainly, the fashion sense of his combat gear would fit right in a world of pink. So, should I break out the Aqua song now, or wait?
Amusing that he gets to play the supervillain to the powers-that-be.
The interesting question here is how realistic-looking is he? Like, does he look like a simple plastic man, or is he entirely too human-like for comfort?
Heh. Entirely in character to talk using CB Radio codes as idioms...
That must be weird, knowing that nearly every man on the planet is basically the same four or five guys in different outfits...
Okay, so they are more or less living beings, not just animate toys...
I bet he's fabulous...
I suppose that one will be reconsidering before long.
Though given the implied lives they lead, it's probably nothing new to them.
Let me guess, the only sign he's even a nerd is horn-rim glasses and a pocket protector?
And of course there are super-powered ones.
With outfits like that, I'm amazed you didn't notice them earlier...
Because standing out would be an even bigger signal than sending up a flare.
Moves fast for someone without knee-joints.
Sorry, I figure they're human-like, but the image of a doll tottering along at a run...Ah, the usual generic 'superhero' set of powers, eh? Flying, invulnerability, strength and supersenses...
Faster than you expected, Paulie?
Ah, manifesting crystal to ensure integrity if he loses focus? Smart, even if it makes him look even more like a local.
Oh, please. At least give him a more appropriate name. Like 'Bad guy Ken'? Or 'Evil Mullet Ken'?
Ah, her stand-in for 'generic energy beam shooting' powers?
Best looking cop on the force, every year!
And I rather suspect they don't make a 'Supervillain Barbie'...
Wonder how she'd react if you dropped trousers and pointed that out? ...Would she even recognise what she's seeing?
But of course no-one would, because all Barbies are nice people?
...Hmm. What kind of super-power would a Ken even be allowed? 'Bad-butt Normal' like Batman?
...And there goes any sympathy you might have had for her and her kind.
Huh. Is there a GI Joe sneaking around or something?
...A bootleg 'Army Barbie', maybe?
Huh. Real not-barbie line origin aside, I'm getting real 'Action Man' vibes off her. Must be the accent.
Got to love that for an off-hand comment, she's right on the money for his name. And there being off-brand variants of the 'fashion doll' race makes a bizarre sort of sense. This must be a very, very strange planet this Paul found himself on, and no doubt it frustrated him to no end early on. Why else would he be running an underground railway for emancipating dissatisfied boy-toys?
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thebishop8
Umm, ackchyually...
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The latest chapter has a link to this image: https://ibb.co/5rGyQYf
This seems like it's from a Barbie tv show or something. It's titled "Makayla and Madison don't get their own wiki page". After a bit of searching, I found their wiki pages:
https://barbiemovies.fandom.com/wiki/Makayla
https://barbiemovies.fandom.com/wiki/Madison
They seem to be characters in this movie: https://barbiemovies.fandom.com/wiki/Barbie_in_Princess_Power
Reading that page gives us the name Super Sparkle which Paul used in the chapter. So this universe seems like cartoon Barbie, and not directly related to the live action movie.
Vaermina
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Why do I suddenly get the sense that Mr Zoat was for some reason forced to go see the Barbie movie within the past few days?
Bigking321
Not too sore, are you?
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Feels more like the movie but bringing in references to other barbie properties.
It references events from the movie. And she denied that super sparkle was her name.
Senevri
Not too sore, are you?
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That was kinda terrible. Sure,
Not sure of the exact constraints of a DC/Mattel mashup world, though.
Barbies have near-zero appreciation for Kens, but most of them are still happy - deliriously so - even if vulnerable to memetic infections.
Mattel wouldn't agree, but assumptions that Barbies wouldn't let Kens leave, or that Kens would want to leave are leaps of logic.
The sentient toys are not people, they do not have people-motivations. The movie individuals were an outlier, and - outside Mattel - them wanting to change the way they live fell under "okay, that was always allowed."
In DC sense, Barbieworld would absolutely reside in Dreaming, considering they're a representation of how particular toys are played with.
Heck, the main character probably just followed the owner's thought of "what if Barbie was more real(istic)
Mattel wouldn't agree, but assumptions that Barbies wouldn't let Kens leave, or that Kens would want to leave are leaps of logic.
The sentient toys are not people, they do not have people-motivations. The movie individuals were an outlier, and - outside Mattel - them wanting to change the way they live fell under "okay, that was always allowed."
In DC sense, Barbieworld would absolutely reside in Dreaming, considering they're a representation of how particular toys are played with.
Heck, the main character probably just followed the owner's thought of "what if Barbie was more real(istic)
moralrelativity
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A++ sleuthing right there. Well done.
Lord Ernest
At the End...
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Oh... kay. What the fuck did I just read? I wasn't gonna watch the movie anyway. Mr. Zoat who dragged you to watch it and suffer it?
Not sure if you missed it, but the chapter title "Kens World" or whatever, has a link to a review of the movie in YouTube. So that seems to imply it's the Movie world this chapter is based on but with the SI referencing animated stuff since, as with all other SIs in this particular multiverse, he doesn't remember the actual setting he's in, only variants of it.
Not sure if you missed it, but the chapter title "Kens World" or whatever, has a link to a review of the movie in YouTube. So that seems to imply it's the Movie world this chapter is based on but with the SI referencing animated stuff since, as with all other SIs in this particular multiverse, he doesn't remember the actual setting he's in, only variants of it.
Vanbers
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...Shit, that's actually really good.
I'm honestly invested in this single snippet now, I really hope you've got more for it in you.
Violet Paul Brown-Haired Ken and the Underground Railroad for Kens is kind of neat to read about, tbh.
I'm honestly invested in this single snippet now, I really hope you've got more for it in you.
dw7thdoctor
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funnily enough, I assume all Pauls are from the date the story started to be written so even though your logic is correct technically while author Paul has probably seen the movie fictional Paul has never even heard that there is going to be a live-action Barbie movie so wouldn't have that knowledge anyway.
Lord Ernest
At the End...
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I believe that's what I meant? That the SIs have knowledge adjacent to the setting they're inserted in, not knowledge about the setting itself. The Illustres knows about DC in general but does not remember Young Justice. Blue Lantern as well, DC knowledge but doesn't remember the movie Crisis on Two Earths, Red Lantern doesn't remember Teen Titans, Indigo Tribesman (that his name?) doesn't remember The Boys, etc. So this SI knows about Barbie and about those animated Barbie movies, straight-to-dvd stuff. I honestly wasn't even thinking about when he was inserted and how that affected his knowledge.
Ngamer11
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He goes by Saul Talbot.
Duke Long
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Extraneous 'want to be'?
Uh, interesting chapter. Is this actually what the setting of Barbie is like?
Mr Zoat
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He hasn't. I haven't ever seen anything Barbie-related.
Thank you, corrected.
Technically, Barbie super powers are based on how they're played with, not what their particular varient is supposed to have. But basically yes. If you see the film, just remember that Margot Robbie Barbie is the villain and Ryan Gosling Ken is the hero.
Vaermina
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Don't try to look too deep into things.
Its just Mr Zoat writing the equivalent of an amusing bash fic omake over something that really annoyed him.
Ct613hulu
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I thought of it as more of a mutual exploration of identity that ultimately ended in them both recognizing that things needed to change and going in different directions than a straightforward conflict of Good vs Evil.
Mr Zoat
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Hah! No. At the end the misandrist state re-establishes itself and Margot goes back to the real world, abandoning Ryan to the world she recreated after he fixed it.