Gendie07
Not too sore, are you?
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2015
- Messages
- 328
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- 5,660
It feels like nothing really happened, by the end of the chapter.
After a single read through, what I remember is the main character is sure he made a mistake, and that the boys got in the car and drove out to bumfuck nowhere.
Well, I feel like I added a lot more detail here.
I feel like you could have either expanded on character interaction to flesh out bonds more explicitly, especially for folks like myself who haven't watched Supernatural in ages or gone in the complete other direction and compressed the travel and dialogue a bit and jumped into revealing more of whats going on at the destination.
These things take time.
Like if you had included an interaction with the person they are going to, even just a few hundred words it would 'feel' like more happaned in the chapter.
I'm not sure I agree, I'm going to be going through a lot of scenes in the next chapter, and not including the Hailey girl right away builds up suspence, hopefully.
Sorry if that's not particularly helpful and I am looking forward to more!
Keep up the good work and thanks for writing in the first place.
Thank you.