[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[zMADLAXz]

Qrow and Raven Branwen.

Or as I like to call them.

Drunk Dante and Female Vergil.

Do with it what you may.

 

[The Brotherhood of Steel]

Arcwitch ideas.

-Glynda twists her ankle so despite her protests Jaune picks her up and princess carries her through campus to the nurses office.

- Glynda gets sick and Jaune ends up taking care of her.

- Yang dares Jaune to ask Glynda to the dance. To everyone's shock not only does he do it but she also accepts.

- Glynda somehow gets turned back into a teenager. To everyone's shock she's a delinquent and into Jaune.

- Glynda and Jaune keep accidentally finding themselves in compromising situations which isn't helped by people walking in on them.

- Jaune baking a cake for Glynda's birthday.

 

[Gur40]

Qrow and Raven Branwen.

Or as I like to call them.

Drunk Dante and Female Vergil.

Do with it what you may.

Click to shrink...

so found this on Tumblr

Spoiler: spoiler

one-real-wrimonkey
1d

Do you think a tiny part of Qrow was relieved when Raven up and left?

The part of him that watched her become a better person for other people in a way she hadn't for him? The oart of him that had watched her talk about helping people and leaving the Tribe when she'd mocked him for wanting to do those things, now she had someone to do it for? Someone that wasn't him. A part of him that knew her so well he couldn't truly believe she had changed?

Do you think the day she left he was relieved he was right, even as the betrayal crushed him?

So what do you think?

 

[zMADLAXz]

so found this on Tumblr

Spoiler: spoiler

one-real-wrimonkey
1d

Do you think a tiny part of Qrow was relieved when Raven up and left?

The part of him that watched her become a better person for other people in a way she hadn't for him? The oart of him that had watched her talk about helping people and leaving the Tribe when she'd mocked him for wanting to do those things, now she had someone to do it for? Someone that wasn't him. A part of him that knew her so well he couldn't truly believe she had changed?

Do you think the day she left he was relieved he was right, even as the betrayal crushed him?

So what do you think?

Click to shrink...

I mean I would say that is a pretty spot on interpretation of the vibe I was going with.

 

[dragon_cloud16]

You know, I've been pondering about the whole 'Weiss/Jaune Medical Team' idea and got to wondering this.

How good is Beacon's infirmary and councilor's? And would it be wrong to consider that they are good at handling anything related to combat but just that? Or go for comedy and have them being more like friends that Ozpin/Glynda/Ironwood threw into there just to be able to keep an eye on them and away from very dangerous stuff?

 

[AndrewJTalon]

The Beacon courtyard was a riot of color and sound, first-year students milling about with nervous energy framed by the faint hum of airships in the distance. Jaune Arc, his blond hair mussed and his armor slightly askew, trudged through the crowd, his shield clanking against his hip. Trailing him was a tiny blonde Faunus girl, no older than four, her fluffy kitty ears twitching as she clutched a stuffed bunny and toddled after him, her big blue eyes sparkling with awe.

"Papa! Papa, look! It's a castle!" she squealed, pointing at Beacon's towering spires. Team RWBY and Team JNPR, gathered near a fountain, froze as the word Papa cut through the chatter. Ruby Rose's cookie paused mid-bite, crumbs tumbling. Weiss Schnee's jaw dropped, her ice-blue eyes narrowing. Yang Xiao Long's grin faltered, her lilac eyes flicking between Jaune and the kid. Blake Belladonna's ears twitched under her bow, her book forgotten. Pyrrha Nikos blinked, her smile tightening, while Nora Valkyrie gasped, "A MINI JAUNE?!"

Ren sighed, pinching his nose.

Weiss was the first to recover, her voice sharp as she stormed over, Myrtenaster glinting at her side.

"Arc! Explain yourself! Why is a child calling you Papa?!"

Jaune flinched, his hands flailing as the girl clung to his leg, her ears drooping and eyes becoming wide and scared. It made Weiss falter a bit as Jaune put a hand on her head comfortingly.

"I-I'm not a predator, I swear!" he yelped, his face scarlet. "She's my daughter! Mia Arc!"

"Your WHAT?!" Yang roared, her hair sparking as she loomed over him. "Vomit Boy's a dad?!"

Ruby's silver eyes went wide, her voice a squeak.

"Jaune, you have a kid?! That's so cool! But, like, how?!"

Blake opened her mouth, but Yang turned and glared at her.

"No!" She growled.

Blake's gaze softened, but her voice was wary as she shifted to another subject.

"And where's her mother? Why isn't she here?"

Jaune's shoulders slumped, his blue eyes darting down with grief as he scooped Mia into his arms, her tiny hands clutching his hoodie. The teams fell silent, sensing the shift.

"Her mom… Katie… she's gone," he said, his voice low, raw. "Katie was my girlfriend, a cat Faunus from Radian. We were… young, stupid, in love. She got pregnant, and Mia was born, but… Katie died a few days after childbirth. Complications." He swallowed hard, stroking Mia's ears as she nuzzled him. "Katie made me promise to follow my dream of being a Huntsman, even when I was scared. Said it'd make Mia proud."

The courtyard seemed to hush, the weight of his words sinking in. Pyrrha's hand touched his arm, her emerald eyes soft.

"Jaune… I'm so sorry."

Nora's usual grin was gone, her voice quiet.

"That's… really heavy, Jaune-Jaune."

Weiss's indignation faltered, her voice gentler.

"You're… raising her alone?" Jaune nodded, his jaw tight. Yang gave him an empathetic look, and walked over to rest a hand on his shoulder. He nodded to her gratefully.

"My parents helped, but my mom didn't want me at Beacon—too dangerous with Mia. I almost gave up, but… Mom caved when she saw how much Katie's wish meant to me. And Ozpin…"

He glanced at the headmaster's tower, a wry smile tugging at his lips. "He accepted me, even with Mia. Said something about 'potential in adversity.'"

Ruby's eyes sparkled, her voice brightening. "That's amazing, Jaune! You're, like, a superhero dad! Mia's gonna have the coolest papa ever!"

Mia giggled, her ears perking up. "Papa's the best! He makes bunny pancakes!"

Yang's grin returned, softer now, as she ruffled Mia's hair.

"Kid's got taste. You're alright, VB... Jaune."

Jaune looked a bit surprised, but pleasantly so.

Blake's gaze lingered on Mia, a flicker of warmth in her eyes.

"She's lucky to have you, Jaune."

Weiss huffed, crossing her arms, but her tone was approving. "Well, Arc, you'd better not let fatherhood distract you from training. Beacon's no place for slacking."

"I know, I won't," Jaune said earnestly.

Ren's voice was calm, a rare smile curving his lips.

"He won't. Jaune's stronger than he looks."

Nora bounced back, her grin manic. "Mia's our new team mascot! We'll teach her to smash Grimm with hammers!"

Jaune chuckled, his grief easing under their support, Mia giggling and squirming in his arms as Nora began to play with her.

"Thanks, guys. Just… don't let her near Nora's pancakes. She'll eat the whole stack."

"Will not!" Nora protested.

"Will too!" Mia shot back. Nora grinned.

"Our battle... WILL BE LEGENDARY!"

The teams broke down into laughter.

 

[RustedSands]

Spoiler: Weiss' reaction to papa Jaune

 

[bazerkerking]

Spoiler: Weiss' reaction to papa Jaune

Click to shrink...

Well... we all know Weiss loves daddy coded men.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Well... we all know Weiss loves daddy coded men.

Click to shrink...

Ah... But she's not the only one. Especially since this Jaune doesn't shave as often.

 

[RustedSands]

Ah... But she's not the only one. Especially since this Jaune doesn't shave as often.

Click to shrink...

I don't know why but I feel like Cinder would like DILF Jaune

 

[AndrewJTalon]

The JNPR dorm was a warm, cluttered haven, filled with the scent of Nora's pancakes and the soft giggles of Mia Arc, Jaune's four-year-old half-Faunus daughter, her cat ears twitching as she colored a picture of a bunny knight. Teams RWBY and JNPR lounged around, the air light with chatter, until Cardin Winchester's voice cut through like a jagged blade.

"Didn't think Beacon let halfbreeds run around. What's next, Grimm pets?" His sneer was directed at Mia, his words dripping with venom, as he looked in through the open door.

The room froze, the teams' eyes snapping to Jaune. Mia's ears drooped, her crayon pausing mid-stroke, her blue eyes confused. Jaune's face went still, his jaw tightening as he took a deep, shuddering breath, his aura flickering faintly gold. He rose, his voice low and dangerously calm.

"Cardin? We're going outside. Pyrrha? Please look after Mia." Pyrrha Nikos, her emerald eyes flashing with quiet fury, nodded, kneeling beside Mia with a gentle smile.

"Of course, Jaune."

Cardin's glare sharpened, his mace resting on his shoulder.

"Oh?"

"We are going outside," Jaune repeated, his voice a steel edge, "and working this out."

Cardin sneered, his teeth glinting in the light.

"All right by me, Arc," he growled. Jaune took his sword and shield, and girded them on. They headed out.

The door slammed behind them, leaving a tense silence. Nora's grin was gone, her turquoise eyes hard as she clutched her hammer. Ruby's silver eyes darted nervously, while Yang's hair sparked faintly, her fists clenched. Blake's ears twitched under her bow, her amber gaze dark. Ren's calm facade cracked, his fingers tightening. Weiss's lips pursed, her Glyphs flickering briefly, as if itching to follow.

Twenty minutes later, the door creaked open. Jaune and Cardin staggered back in, both battered, their clothes torn and bruises blooming across their faces, slowly fading under their healing auras. Jaune's knuckles were raw, his leather and armor scuffed, but his glare was unyielding as he shadowed Cardin.

The larger boy winced with every step, his usual swagger gone, his face pale.

Mia hopped off her chair, her cat ears perked as she ran to Jaune, frowning up at him.

"Papa! What did you do?" Her voice was stern, her tiny hands on her hips. "Did you hurt him?"

Jaune knelt, his expression softening as he ruffled her hair, careful not to jostle her ears.

"No, no… we had a disagreement. But we sorted it out properly." He turned his glare up to Cardin. "Didn't we?"

Cardin, still wincing, nodded stiffly, his voice low and rough. "…Yeah. I'm… I'm sorry. I was… I was wrong."

He glanced at Mia, his eyes low with shame, before turning and limping out silently.

Jaune sank onto the couch, exhaling heavily, his hands trembling slightly. Nora and Ruby swooped in, distracting Mia with a game of "bunny knights," their laughter easing the tension.

Blake, her book forgotten, leaned forward, her voice quiet but piercing.

"…You could have beaten him into a coma."

Jaune's eyes met hers, a storm of emotions swirling—anger, grief, restraint.

"I could have…" he admitted, his voice low, raw. "But that wouldn't solve the problem. And…"

He took a deep breath, his gaze softening as he watched Mia giggle with Nora. "I promised Katy I'd be a good example for our daughter."

His voice hardened, his eyes glowing with a fierce gold.

"No matter how much I wanted to kill him or just beat him up… it wouldn't solve anything. So… we fought, we worked it out… he's going to do better…"

His voice dropped to a menacing whisper. "Or else."

The room fell silent, the weight of Jaune's resolve settling over them. Ruby's eyes sparkled with admiration, while Yang's grin was grudgingly proud. Weiss's scowl softened, her voice quiet.

"You're stronger than I thought, Arc."

"Thanks," Jaune said. Pyrrha's hand rested on his shoulder, her smile warm but protective. Ren nodded, his calm restored, while Nora's cheer returned, her voice booming, "That's our Jaune-Jaune! Scary Dad mode, activated!"

Mia climbed into Jaune's lap, her tiny arms wrapping around him. "Papa's the best knight," she declared, her ears twitching happily. Jaune's smile was tired but genuine, as he ruffled his daughter's blonde hair.

 

[Handspan]

Pretty sure half the women in that cafeteria are trying not to jump Jaune.

 

[RustedSands]

Pretty sure half the women in that cafeteria are trying not to jump Jaune.

Click to shrink...

*Taiyang suddenly looks up*
Taiyang: I sense the birth of another harem master

Qrow: of for the love of....you wound up with TWO GIRLS! That does not make a harem and one of them was my sis so it doesn't count.

 

[trashtaker]

*Taiyang suddenly looks up*
Taiyang: I sense the birth of another harem master

Qrow: of for the love of....you wound up with TWO GIRLS! That does not make a harem and one of them was my sis so it doesn't count.

Click to shrink...

Taiyang: it seems that you have forgotten why everyone keeps calling our team. "My" team.

You forgot to count yourself in Qrow.

Qrow: HUH!?

 

[SharkCultist]

So had a idea inspired by two series I enjoy (Danny phantom and code lyoko) with a dash of MegaMan.exe for flavor.

---

They prepared Penny for combat and military matters. They made her as human as possible.

That was a mistake. They never taught Penny how to deal with grief. Her father died of old age and ciel does on a mission.

Ruby and all the rest are in Beacon still so Penny is alone and drowning in emotions she doesn't know how to deal with.

So she shuts them off.

She achieves a clarity she hasn't had before.

First she tears out that emotional simulation program (unfortunately taking her ability to link with the Aura generator outside of just keeping her body running). For some reason she can't delete the emotion simulator, but it's out of her so she puts it out of her mind.

Next she has to ensure her continued function. Anyone who knew her shutdown codes is dead. Except ironwood but he won't be too hard to kill. His reliance on automation will be his undoing.

She's already begun commandeering factories to build mechanical soldiers for her two pronged war.

Against Grimm and humanity. Humans almost caused her to have a fatal system shutdown from the shoddy programming they stuck in her out of some foolish sense of idealism and whimsy.

For her continued safety and functionality they need to be erased.

And her original purpose is to kill the Grimm so she shall do so, and looking at her factories she finds something interesting.

The Grimm seek to destroy anything made by human hands, and yet her robots (purely her own design) made in a fully automated factory are completely ignored by them until attacked.

This information could be useful.

---

Penny is lost. Adrift in a sea of swirling data, completely disconnected from her body and logic processors.

Thoughts memories and emotions swirl in her mind as data flows through her.

Too much too much too much ITS TOO MUCH! She needs help, someone, anyone! She needs


"Ruby!"

Ruby Rose falls off her bunk as her computer screams at her.

"Fudge! I'm ok. My spine broke my fall."

Penny is on her screen. Guess she opened a Livestream program? The background is weird. A shifting pattern of nuts and bolts in various shades of green.

But that's not the important part. Penny is. She looks rough....and odd.

Her red hair looks more like copper wire and her eyes are glowing (Ruby also takes not of how pale she is and the deep bags under her eyes). For some reason she seems to be in some kind of green and beige bodysuit.

"Penny? How'd you get on my computer?"

"I don't know I just needed help. Everything it too loud, too intense. I think I did something, something bad. But I can't remember what!"

Ruby spends the next few hours calming and comforting Penny. Completely unaware of the slaughter going on in Atlas.

 

[RGFJ]

The JNPR dorm was a warm, cluttered haven, filled with the scent of Nora's pancakes and the soft g.

Click to shrink...

This is already 100 times better than what we got

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Name: Veyne Grimwald
Allusion: Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Arthurian Legend, and Norris Packard from Mobile Suit Gundam: The 08th MS Team.
Naming Process: Veyne, derived from Old French "vain" (valiant) and echoing Gawain's name, reflects his knightly aspirations twisted by darkness. Grimwald, combining "grim" (foreshadowing his Grimm nature) and "wald" (Old German for ruler), underscores his commanding presence and tragic fall.
Age: Appears mid-30s (actual age unknown due to Grimm hybridization)
Background: Veyne Grimwald was born in Vale before the years of the Great War, a descendant of a minor noble family with a tradition of producing gallant warriors. Like Jaune Arc, Veyne dreamed of becoming a legendary knight, training tirelessly despite lacking natural talent. He fought valiantly in the war, earning renown for his courage and tactical brilliance. However, his world shattered when his beloved, Lady Elyse, and his family were slaughtered in a Mantlese attack he was too weak to prevent. Broken and guilt-ridden, Veyne was approached by Salem, who offered him power to forge a world without death or loss. Desperate to undo his failures, he accepted, gaining Grimm hybridization. Now serving as Salem's Dark Knight, Veyne leads her forces with chilling precision, his nobility warped but not erased, haunting him as he pursues her vision of a deathless Remnant.
Race: Human-Grimm Hybrid
Emblem: A black knight's helm wreathed in green flames, split by a crescent axe blade, symbolizing his duality as both knight and monster.
Weapon: "Decrepit Oath" – A massive, double-headed axe modeled after the Green Knight's weapon, infused with Grimm essence and Dust. It can channel green fire (fire Dust) for devastating cleaves or project corrosive Grimm ichor as a ranged attack. The axe's haft extends into a lance for mounted charges, reflecting Veyne's knightly roots. He also wields a shield, "Mourning Ward," which absorbs Aura-based attacks and converts them into bursts of green energy to empower his strikes. Mourning Ward also has a twin barreled machine gun attached to the underside, allowing him a more traditional ranged attack. He can fire Blast or Fire Dust rounds from it, but has limited ammo.
Semblance: "Verdant Pact"
Veyne's Semblance, warped by his Grimm hybridization and inspired by Gawain's encounter with the Green Knight, grants him supernatural resilience tied to his life force. When struck, his wounds regenerate rapidly, fueled by Grimm essence, but each regeneration drains his humanity, making him more monstrous (eyes glowing redder, skin paling). He can temporarily transfer this resilience to nearby Grimm, bolstering their durability, but at the cost of his own stamina. Like Gawain's test, his Semblance comes with a price: overuse risks losing himself entirely to the Grimm within, a constant reminder of his pact with Salem. In combat, he uses this to endure near-fatal blows, striking back with terrifying ferocity. His fellow servants of Salem are tasked with pulling him back from being a mindless monster.
Appearance: Veyne is tall and imposing, with a knightly bearing marred by his Grimm nature. His once-golden hair is now streaked with ashen black, tied back in a severe knot. His eyes glow an eerie green, with faint red flecks when enraged. His pale skin bears dark, vein-like patterns from his hybridization, most visible across his arms and neck. Scars crisscross his torso, remnants of his war days and the Green Knight-like bargain that transformed him. His face, still handsome, carries a melancholic dignity.
Outfit: Veyne wears blackened, ornate armor reminiscent of a medieval knight but with a helmet and spiky pauldrons evoking the MS-07B Gouf from Mobile Suit Gundam. His green eyes glow in the darkness. It is etched with green patterns that glow faintly from Salem's magic. A tattered, dark green cloak flows behind him, singed at the edges, symbolizing his lost honor. His chestplate bears a faint outline of his old family crest—a stag—defaced by claw marks. Veyne's attire blends ceremonial grandeur with Salem's dark aesthetic, reflecting his noble yet corrupted soul.
Personality: Veyne is a dark reflection of Jaune Arc, blending Sir Gawain's chivalric honor with Norris Packard's tactical ruthlessness. He retains a knightly code—sparing the innocent, honoring fallen foes—but serves Salem with unwavering loyalty, believing her vision will end suffering. His dignity masks deep self-loathing; he sees himself as a failure who couldn't save his loved ones, driving his devotion to a world without loss. Like Packard, he's a tactical mastermind, orchestrating Grimm assaults with precision and exploiting enemy weaknesses with brutal efficiency. Yet, his nobility makes him conflicted: he respects strong and noble opponents, seeing echoes of his old self, but his paranoia and grief make him distrust even Salem's inner circle. Veyne is a tragic figure—charismatic, commanding, yet haunted, his pride in his skills warring with his shame over his fall.
Role in Salem's Forces: Veyne serves as Salem's field commander, leading Grimm hordes and hybrid operatives in surgical strikes against Remnant's kingdoms. His tactical genius makes him a nightmare on the battlefield, outmaneuvering Huntsmen and military forces alike. He's tasked with weakening Vale and its allies, often targeting key infrastructure or Huntsmen academies. Despite his loyalty, Salem keeps him on a tight leash, knowing his noble heart could waver if confronted with undeniable proof of her true nihilistic goals.
Connection to Sir Gawain and Norris Packard: Like Gawain, Veyne is a knight bound by a fateful bargain, his pact with Salem mirroring Gawain's deal with the Green Knight—a test of honor with a cost. His resilience and willingness to face death head-on reflect Gawain's courage, but his Grimm nature twists this into a monstrous endurance. From Packard, Veyne inherits a no-nonsense combat style and tactical brilliance, favoring bold, decisive strikes over prolonged engagements. His loss of Elyse parallels Jaune's fears of failing his team, but where Jaune grows through hope, Veyne descends into despair, embracing Salem's promise.
Motivations and Conflicts:

• Motivation: Veyne seeks to create Salem's deathless world, believing it will absolve his failure to save Elyse and his family. He fights to prove his strength and redeem his broken honor, even if it means serving a dark cause.
• Conflict: His lingering nobility clashes with his Grimm-fueled ruthlessness. Encounters with Ruby, Jaune or other idealistic Huntsmen stir doubts about Salem's path, but his guilt and fear of further loss bind him to her. He also fears losing his humanity entirely to his Semblance, dreading the day he becomes a mindless Grimm.

Notable Traits:

• Carries a locket with Elyse's portrait, which he touches before battles as a reminder of his purpose.
• Speaks in a measured, almost poetic tone, even when commanding Grimm, reflecting his knightly roots.
• Has a habit of sparing young warriors and women, seeing them as untainted by Remnant's failures, a trait that frustrates Salem's more ruthless lieutenants.

 

[cavalal386]

Taiyang: it seems that you have forgotten why everyone keeps calling our team. "My" team.

You forgot to count yourself in Qrow.

Qrow: HUH!?

Click to shrink...

Qrow: I was drunk that time, it doesn't count!!

Taiyang: you're always drunk.

 

[SharkCultist]

Oscar discovers his semblance.

It's plant empathy. Everyone thinks it's useless until he gets hit with the Aura amp and turns into the scariest fucking druid of all time.

I want you to picture this.

Oscar throws a potato that bounces off of Tyrians chest.

Tyrian starts talking shit not paying attention or realizing that the potato is sprouting roots that are crawling up his body.

Well he starts noticing once they start digging into his skin.

Que him screaming and thrashing before going silent.

Then the potato begins puppeting his corpse and turns to Oscar with a single question.

"Where's the fucking soil?"

 

[Balorak146]

Oscar discovers his semblance.

It's plant empathy. Everyone thinks it's useless until he gets hit with the Aura amp and turns into the scariest fucking druid of all time.

I want you to picture this.

Oscar throws a potato that bounces off of Tyrians chest.

Tyrian starts talking shit not paying attention or realizing that the potato is sprouting roots that are crawling up his body.

Well he starts noticing once they start digging into his skin.

Que him screaming and thrashing before going silent.

Then the potato begins puppeting his corpse and turns to Oscar with a single question.

"Where's the fucking soil?"

Click to shrink...

He'll be unstoppable if he ever gets his hands on some mushrooms.

Grimm? Meet Cordyceps.

 

[Rakdos92]

He'll be unstoppable if he ever gets his hands on some mushrooms.

Grimm? Meet Cordyceps.

Click to shrink...

Eh, won't work. Grimm are made of Darkness or Evil, it's nothing the mushroom could feed on. Otherwise we'd have seen at least some of them with plant-life growing on them.

 

[SharkCultist]

Eh, won't work. Grimm are made of Darkness or Evil, it's nothing the mushroom could feed on. Otherwise we'd have seen at least some of them with plant-life growing on them.

Click to shrink...

Two things.

1.i thought some of the ancient Grimm had moss on them?

2. Think more like Plants vs zombies but with aura.

 

[Gur40]

SNIP

Click to shrink...

So going full D&D Did Mercury or Salem eat any type of seed recently?
Because i can see a trick shot of throwing a seed into either of mouths and just *pop* Tree prison ala Loki
Tyrian deserves a violent end fitting the best villain after Roman

I love that Roman was Ruby Villain and Cinder wasn't even on her radar. Fully thought fire woman was a minion until the Fall
and it wasn't til V8 were Ruby even noticed Cinder besides someone to kill, NEO was more her villain and after V9 i don't even think she remember Cinders insult
Imagine Cinder geared up for an epic battle with Ruby assuming she's her rival know only to be replaced by Salem and Jaune upgraded to Gillian and Jax leaving her with Emerald and Oscar
the Ozpin rematch no one expected from mister steal your girl and what's this? Mercury with the heel turn!
Best possible ending for Cinder the boring

Spoiler: Schneeblings

 

[Balorak146]

2. Think more like Plants vs zombies but with aura.

Click to shrink...

This guy gets it!

 

[Rakdos92]

Two things.

1.i thought some of the ancient Grimm had moss on them?

2. Think more like Plants vs zombies but with aura.

Click to shrink...

You were correct! The old deathstalker RWBYJNPR fought had moss on its bone-parts. My bad.

 

[DaJuggernaut]

He'll be unstoppable if he ever gets his hands on some mushrooms.

Grimm? Meet Cordyceps.

Click to shrink...

This, but the funny option.