Cu-nosuba: God’s Blessing on This Lancer’s Holy Grail War!

Davos · Mar 11, 2026

alextheconqueror said:
Hey, Mordred may be hotheaded, and lack common sense, and have both daddy and mommy issues, and sometimes act like a cat, and-wait where was I going with this?
Oh right, she is surprisingly good leading people, if not she wouldn't had been able to make her rebellion, and I think Artoria have him some leading duties while she was out of the country in a campaign but don't remember well

To be fair, there were Mechas and Sci-fi riffles in ancient Greece

I... I don't even have anything funny to say, this actually sounds pretty common, but what surprised me more is that she had a file, someone else should had made it for her because with how she debriefs I can't see her organizing papers

Those little ingrates, at least Mordred loved her father, though I'm surprised she even had bastards knowing her.... history

I'm gonna assume that at least a third of that category is composed of Manaka and, yeah, no, only Manaka

I'm not surprised, her people skills is so bad only idiots or people too worried about humanity state with her as the tasked with their defense would join her, wich actually explains her Counter Guardians, we have the EMIYA's, the newborn with zero common sense, Ryouma who is basically the best of the bunch in a matter oc common sense and then you can see a pattern

You'd gone for it the wrong way, Mordred doesn't see herself as a woman just like did Artoria prior the fifth Holy grail war(Mostly because Mordred wants to be king and a king can't be a woman, meanwhile Artoria didn't even considered herself human because for what Merlin said "A king is different than a person")
So you should started friendly and then slowly scalating into a romantic relationship before even startin the process of- Why the hell I'm even talking about this!?

Ragebaiting till the end, these two are more alike than they would admit

NOOOOOOOOO
She was so young!! Take me instead!!

Don't you disrespect the featery prince! Those are words of war you are saying Saber

Say that to Merlin, or Babagge, or Yui SHousetsu, or Holmes since he was supposed to start as a Caster until he became a Ruler... Damm, there are many casters that are very good at close combat

Also need to say I love this Jojo reference

Agreed, this is peak

I'm literally Shakespeare right now

First of all, all your summons had terrible timing, second you have worst people in chaldea, literally *Looks to see the anticrist, a bunch of beasts, a woman that was the leader of the cult for a old god(Think lovecraftean horrors), a bunch of serial killers, another bunch of psychopaths(I'm looking at you Medea lily), man eating monsters(Not even figuratively, they literally eat humans) and a man that literally wanted to make hell in earth* The fact that they aren't a bunch of scraps while having them says a lot about Chaldea

Trust me she had worse, at least this time she didn't had her nerves being played with while torturing her during a whole night(At least that helped her circuits get accustomed to the singularity) or a literal walk through hell, not figuratively, literally, three times in three different hells, Ritsuka Fujimaru is unbeatable in hell as funny as that's to say lol

I find that difficult to believe, unless it happened to the other Guda... It definitely happened to the other Guda, I can feel it

This sounds like Artoria's fault aside from Kazuma's NP

Yep, it's the fault of both of them

Yeah, I almost blamed Alaya for that

Shirou, you are making me lose more and more respect in you, and it was already in the negatives but come on, your own(allegedly) grandaugther

It's chaldea, they are already prepared for MHX

You need to thank Gaia for that, she is the one actively nerfing MHX, if not then the planet would had been destroyed at least 4 times, I'm not even joking if any of her battles happened in space then she could had destroyed a planet or two, by accident

That's enough proof?

And Chaldea is working with their past enemies again, a long tradition continues

Oh god, she is fucked

Wait till he summons an Emu, we fought a war with them, and lose

Pettyness of the higher caliber, you have to love it

Girl, you are sounding like a Medea or a Morgan, just more prone to anger

Yeah, kinda expected that she would include that in her fight, just to add salt to the wound

Woman, you should hear yourself, this isn't something a respected king should say, the fact you still have your plot armor still baffles me since after becoming a villain you should had lost it, like when you became Saber Alter

She just recieved a Kamijou Touma special!?

Ok, I didn't expected this, but the tittle father of all avians should had been a hint

They are sentient beings with will and faith, the dinosaurs from the last lostbelt also had their own gods

Says you, are you saying that we shouldn't give our all and fight women with the respect as warrior they deserve? For shame Saber, I thought better than that of you

Based

Still not an Emu but close enough

This is so peak

That's bullshit, how does she keep having it? I know that plot armor exists in universe, that's how Artoria and Shirou beat Gil(Not a joke, this is something real) but she's supposed to lose it when she goes "Against the right path"

Good work Arthur, we can kill her now

Oh god she altered, well that's it, the plot armor works negatively in Alters

Red headed nudist pfffhaha
Maybe her timing wasn't as bad as I thought but it's still pretty terrible

Chaldea's efficiency at it's finest

Oh god, I know where this is going

She thinks this is a haven for those being persecuted by sabers, honestly a brilliant idea, this must have been Holmes doing

Ok, that's scary, she is acting like a monster in a horror movie

You know, that makes a lot of sense, Kazuma dying is part of his adventure, damm it's how his adventure started

Oh my god, you did an Alcides

Who is gonna tell her?
There's literally no grail that can make her wish true, and if it can it will only be erased afterwards, like, I dislike her but this is just pityfull

You scaled feathered bastard

How advanced are this birds now?
Did you based their creation on how funny, lovable and based they can be? Because the answer to all of that is yes

You are the servant, you are superhuman by principle, so yes you are, though Heroic Spirit Kazuma would be more

Things stopped making sense in this war long time ago buddy

Just because she is good at leading people doesn't make her plans sound.

Seriously? Was that a Halloween event I missed?

She probably is the only one able to organize things in a way she can understand. One does not become that disorganized by accident...And it's probably better to make her do the filing than have her free to do other things.

True, but it could be plausible she fell into a similar mishap like Artoria did with Morgan disguising herself as Guinevere

I suspect that person appears in another lostbelt or event?

Yeah...Going to be hard trying to get her in a good light in another ending. I think Artoria may be easier in comparison.

Sounds like a fic ya want written.

Yep.

Think she was an adult in bird years.

I mean...when did she pick the peaceful option this war?

The Caster class is much odder than I recall.

Yay. Feared it may have been overdone.

Yay.

Yay.

I don't think she can control who gets summoned, but valid. Thought they all kind of mellowed out after coming to Chaldea? And isn't Medea Lily the nicer Medea before she went on an adventure with Jason?

The Lostbelts are gonna be a trip.

At least the crossdressing bit while dancing with Alters.

Yes, but both.

Yes.

Not defending him, but he doesn't know they are related and Ritsuka IS a looker.

Indeed.

Did not know that, or forgot it. Thanks again for the tidbit.

Yes apprently.

One that will never stop.

I initially was going to put a Shoebill for the sound they make, but thought a third one would be too much.

Yeah, that was a funny documentary.

Indeed. Love pettiness.

I think I have a penchant for writing angry women...

Fair. Looking back I maybe should have resolved the MHX fight part on getting Avalon back so this would be more of a surprise.

Wouldn't be much of a fight or satisfying if she lost immediately.

Never actually saw that show.

Yay.

That lostbelt is going to be enjoyable.

Any chance to go against Kazuma.

...Think that might be one of my favorite retorts in this fic.

Wouldn't this be worse than an Emu on every front except speed?

Glad it was great.

Refer to above statement about fight not being satisfying.

Indeed.

I wouldn't quite say alter, but I am sure I forgot the exact definition of that too.

Maybe I should have included her pov of suddenly appearing in front of the strongest fighter in the area, suddenly becoming nude while one of your closest friends is struggling against them to engender more...empathy? For her choice of action.

Indeed.

I would be surprised if you didn't.

Was a joy to write. Maybe more Morairty since it kinda messes with MHX?

Funnily enough, got the idea for that line after the Fergus scene of him sniffing out Eris and the angels.

And he doesn't need Aqua. Should probably put another downside to that if Servant Kazuma ever appears again.

....From another lost belt?

To be fair, that is probably more my misunderstanding and forgetting, though I doubt most would know about the questionable state of grails at this point...or am I massivley mistaken on the lore again?

Yeah...he's an ass.

Still medieval I think...might touch on them more on the epilogue chapter.

Doubt Servant Kazuma wants to crash face first into the earth.

Yeah, I did some deviations from logic

alextheconqueror · Mar 11, 2026

Davos said:
Just because she is good at leading people doesn't make her plans sound.

Fair enough, though from what I remember she was one of the ones in charge when Artoria was out of the kingdom, alongside Agravain if I remember well, though it was usually things like dealing with rebelling parties and the like

Davos said:
Seriously? Was that a Halloween event I missed?

Nope, it was a Lostbelt against the Greek Gods or how we call the the Machine gods of Olimpus

Davos said:
She probably is the only one able to organize things in a way she can understand. One does not become that disorganized by accident...And it's probably better to make her do the filing than have her free to do other things.

I can believe it, better not let her have free time

Davos said:
True, but it could be plausible she fell into a similar mishap like Artoria did with Morgan disguising herself as Guinevere

Ok, yeah I can see it happening, though I would be surprised if she didn't inmediately took the bastard son and made him part of the family

Davos said:
I suspect that person appears in another lostbelt or event?

Manaka? No, she is from Fate Prototype and also appears in Fate Labyrinth by taking the body of a woman who was in an expedition in that Labyrinth, she is also the Mother of a Beast of humanity that a Male king Arthur is chasing across the different timelines, singularities and those in between till now
The fandom call her omnipotence if she was a girl and oh boy it's accurate

Davos said:
Yeah...Going to be hard trying to get her in a good light in another ending. I think Artoria may be easier in comparison.

Yeah, definitely, as disleakable as Saber acted at least she still have her moments

Davos said:
Sounds like a fic ya want written.

Probably, I got entranced by the waifu

Davos said:
Yep.

They would definitely deny any similarity

Davos said:
Think she was an adult in bird years.

Doesn't lessen the tragedy

Davos said:
I mean...when did she pick the peaceful option this war?

Damm, you are right, this grail war she has gone full Canada(If you understand you understand)

Davos said:
The Caster class is much odder than I recall.

As I said many times the servant classes are more lax than one would expect, the more rigid one is Sabers and that one still has a case like Karna with his fists(wich come from the word in Japanese Ken wich means both sword and fist) there's also Richard from FSF who can make anything he uses a Holy sword

Davos said:
Yay. Feared it may have been overdone.

There is never enough Jojo references

Davos said:
I don't think she can control who gets summoned, but valid. Thought they all kind of mellowed out after coming to Chaldea? And isn't Medea Lily the nicer Medea before she went on an adventure with Jason?

They can't control who is summoned but they decide if maintaining them in Chaldea, they could just cut the connection anytime and get them back into the throne
Also Medea lily is not from before the adventure with Jason, she is during the adventures with Jason and normal Medea is the one after, wich means Medea Lily is the more unhinged who can see a Demon God Pillar, make it a pancake and offer it to you with a smile in her face, and she actually did it, remember that this Medea made Jason a fucking Demon God Pillar and was the one to made a deal with Goetia without telling anybody else that it meant the incineration of humanity

Davos said:
The Lostbelts are gonna be a trip.

No kidding, one of those battles in hell was during the last lostbelt, and there was this void that makes you feel every insecurity and fear you have will eroding your will to fight, it made Guda see visions of everyone deciding that since they have another Master again he wasn't needed anymore

Davos said:
At least the crossdressing bit while dancing with Alters.

Everychance they have for him to crossdress they take it, Mash literally insist in that btw
In the last event there was an option to have him crossdress as a female character in a play, and they even reference that in the comedy comics and show of "Fujimaru don't get it"

Davos said:
Yes, but both.

Yes.

Those two are in Ritsuka's list lol

Davos said:
Not defending him, but he doesn't know they are related and Ritsuka IS a looker.

Seriously? In Ritsuka's mental monologue it says "Even after knowing who I was" so I thought it meant he knew she was his grandaughter

Davos said:
Indeed.

Rule numbet 14 of chaldea, always be prepared for the servantverse

Davos said:
Did not know that, or forgot it. Thanks again for the tidbit.

No problem, also the servantverse is a version of the age of will, wich is a future in wich humanity conquered the stars, and seeing that the space has things like Zephar, the types and the creators of the Mooncell, it's understandable that they needed to nerf servantverse characters when summoned as servants till the moon and beyond

Davos said:
Yes apprently.

I mean, if it isn't I don't know what proof we can get lol

Davos said:
One that will never stop.

The story train needs to continue, for another decade and more!

Davos said:
I initially was going to put a Shoebill for the sound they make, but thought a third one would be too much.

Understandable

Davos said:
Yeah, that was a funny documentary.

Agreed, made me laugh and look birds differently

Davos said:
Indeed. Love pettiness.

It's always funny to read

Davos said:
I think I have a penchant for writing angry women...

That's just good taste, I love a woman that can and will kick my ass~

Davos said:
Fair. Looking back I maybe should have resolved the MHX fight part on getting Avalon back so this would be more of a surprise.

Jt's still pretty funny to read

Davos said:
Wouldn't be much of a fight or satisfying if she lost immediately.

True enough

Davos said:
Never actually saw that show.

Basically the MC has a right hand that can nullify any supernatural effect, so his fights usually involve him negating any spell or esper power till he can get near his opponent and punch them in the face, this also has the side effect of also nullifying good luck, blessings from good or even the red thread of destiny so he is cursed with a constant state of bad luck
What I mean with the Kamijou Touma special is that in one of the official parodies he have a scene in wich he questions himself if he will fight a man or a womand and then he says "My fist doesn't discriminate against genders"

Davos said:
That lostbelt is going to be enjoyable.

It is, most of the time you are accompanied by a very wise and responsible dino who looks like he would fit as one of Kazuma's summons(It has feathers like a bird), but that would be too OP since he is also a genius and have some other, esotherical effects

Davos said:
Any chance to go against Kazuma.

At this point I respect her for her stuborned

Davos said:
...Think that might be one of my favorite retorts in this fic.

Why thank you

Davos said:
Wouldn't this be worse than an Emu on every front except speed?

In physical stats maybe, but since we fought a war against those birds, and lose in the process, and seeing that a lot of people knows about those events the Emu's would have a conceptual advantage against humans

Davos said:
Glad it was great.

It was

Davos said:
Refer to above statement about fight not being satisfying.

Wich agaiins, understandable

Davos said:
Indeed.

This is why I adore dinosaurs, that and they are just cool

Davos said:
I wouldn't quite say alter, but I am sure I forgot the exact definition of that too.

If her eyes became gold I would say she's an alter, she literally was acting like a tyranical maniac king wich is the opposite of how Saber would normally act, wich means she became a Alter
Because I doubt any of her other Round table knights wouldn't want to cry at seeing their king like that

Davos said:
Maybe I should have included her pov of suddenly appearing in front of the strongest fighter in the area, suddenly becoming nude while one of your closest friends is struggling against them to engender more...empathy? For her choice of action.

Probably, would had helped to understand her situation, but the Gudas had been in worse

Davos said:
Indeed.

This is why they are still in a good state

Davos said:
I would be surprised if you didn't.

Why thank you

Davos said:
Was a joy to write. Maybe more Morairty since it kinda messes with MHX?

Yeah I can see it, this spells Moriarty in it's job

Davos said:
Funnily enough, got the idea for that line after the Fergus scene of him sniffing out Eris and the angels.

Equally horryfying for both parties of the chased, if for different reasons

Davos said:
And he doesn't need Aqua. Should probably put another downside to that if Servant Kazuma ever appears again.

Maybe a great amount of magical energy needed for it to happen?

Davos said:
....From another lost belt?

Nope, Fake strange fake, basically the Alter of Heracles who have a NP who allows him to yoink a part of another servant's saint graph to steal their NP or another thing, he even used it against Gugulanna to stole his divine core, being honest he is quite bullshit with all his things

Davos said:
To be fair, that is probably more my misunderstanding and forgetting, though I doubt most would know about the questionable state of grails at this point...or am I massivley mistaken on the lore again?

Oh there's no way she would know, not even after FSN she would had known but she still forgot her wish in almost all of the Good endings because he understood it wasn't right to try and change the past like that without thinking of the consequences

Davos said:
Yeah...he's an ass.

Agreed

Davos said:
Still medieval I think...might touch on them more on the epilogue chapter.

Sounds good

Davos said:
Doubt Servant Kazuma wants to crash face first into the earth.

Nobody would want that, unless you are Darkness lol

Davos said:
Yeah, I did some deviations from logic

That's the Konosuba effect

Davos · Mar 11, 2026

alextheconqueror said:
Fair enough, though from what I remember she was one of the ones in charge when Artoria was out of the kingdom, alongside Agravain if I remember well, though it was usually things like dealing with rebelling parties and the like

Nope, it was a Lostbelt against the Greek Gods or how we call the the Machine gods of Olimpus

Ok, yeah I can see it happening, though I would be surprised if she didn't inmediately took the bastard son and made him part of the family

Yeah, definitely, as disleakable as Saber acted at least she still have her moments

Probably, I got entranced by the waifu

They would definitely deny any similarity

Doesn't lessen the tragedy

Damm, you are right, this grail war she has gone full Canada(If you understand you understand)

As I said many times the servant classes are more lax than one would expect, the more rigid one is Sabers and that one still has a case like Karna with his fists(wich come from the word in Japanese Ken wich means both sword and fist) there's also Richard from FSF who can make anything he uses a Holy sword

There is never enough Jojo references

They can't control who is summoned but they decide if maintaining them in Chaldea, they could just cut the connection anytime and get them back into the throne
Also Medea lily is not from before the adventure with Jason, she is during the adventures with Jason and normal Medea is the one after, wich means Medea Lily is the more unhinged who can see a Demon God Pillar, make it a pancake and offer it to you with a smile in her face, and she actually did it, remember that this Medea made Jason a fucking Demon God Pillar and was the one to made a deal with Goetia without telling anybody else that it meant the incineration of humanity

No kidding, one of those battles in hell was during the last lostbelt, and there was this void that makes you feel every insecurity and fear you have will eroding your will to fight, it made Guda see visions of everyone deciding that since they have another Master again he wasn't needed anymore

Everychance they have for him to crossdress they take it, Mash literally insist in that btw
In the last event there was an option to have him crossdress as a female character in a play, and they even reference that in the comedy comics and show of "Fujimaru don't get it"

Those two are in Ritsuka's list lol

Seriously? In Ritsuka's mental monologue it says "Even after knowing who I was" so I thought it meant he knew she was his grandaughter

Rule numbet 14 of chaldea, always be prepared for the servantverse

No problem, also the servantverse is a version of the age of will, wich is a future in wich humanity conquered the stars, and seeing that the space has things like Zephar, the types and the creators of the Mooncell, it's understandable that they needed to nerf servantverse characters when summoned as servants till the moon and beyond

I mean, if it isn't I don't know what proof we can get lol

The story train needs to continue, for another decade and more!

It's always funny to read

That's just good taste, I love a woman that can and will kick my ass~

Basically the MC has a right hand that can nullify any supernatural effect, so his fights usually involve him negating any spell or esper power till he can get near his opponent and punch them in the face, this also has the side effect of also nullifying good luck, blessings from good or even the red thread of destiny so he is cursed with a constant state of bad luck
What I mean with the Kamijou Touma special is that in one of the official parodies he have a scene in wich he questions himself if he will fight a man or a womand and then he says "My fist doesn't discriminate against genders"

It is, most of the time you are accompanied by a very wise and responsible dino who looks like he would fit as one of Kazuma's summons(It has feathers like a bird), but that would be too OP since he is also a genius and have some other, esotherical effects

At this point I respect her for her stuborned

Why thank you

If her eyes became gold I would say she's an alter, she literally was acting like a tyranical maniac king wich is the opposite of how Saber would normally act, wich means she became a Alter
Because I doubt any of her other Round table knights wouldn't want to cry at seeing their king like that

Probably, would had helped to understand her situation, but the Gudas had been in worse

This is why they are still in a good state

Maybe a great amount of magical energy needed for it to happen?

Nope, Fake strange fake, basically the Alter of Heracles who have a NP who allows him to yoink a part of another servant's saint graph to steal their NP or another thing, he even used it against Gugulanna to stole his divine core, being honest he is quite bullshit with all his things

Oh there's no way she would know, not even after FSN she would had known but she still forgot her wish in almost all of the Good endings because he understood it wasn't right to try and change the past like that without thinking of the consequences

That's the Konosuba effect

I semi recall that.

Wow...that'll be fun.

True, though if the son takes after Mordred, I can see them still picking a fight.

...She may still be difficult to redeem with what I have in mind.

Understandable. Not sure you'll like the next part.

Most certainly.

Fair enough.

Indeed lol

Isn't that more Christmas shenanigans than class requirements? I know there is Jeanne alter lily the santa loli.

Fair enough.

Completely forgot about that.

....damn.

It happened more than once?!

For sure

....I completely forgot that if it is true.

A good rule

Gag character power levels...

Fair, though I think I was going for more like a Crimson Demon eye glow thing.

Doubt fgo is ending anytime soon.

Almost sounds like a precursor to OPM but with actual drawbacks.

Awwww

Same.

Thank you

alextheconqueror · Mar 11, 2026

Davos said:
I semi recall that.

Same for me, don't recall clearly where I read it

Davos said:
Wow...that'll be fun.

For sure, we have great characters, epic battles, Drake making fun of Poseidon again, Jason redeeming himself from the Okeanos singularity, MECHAS, a lot of lore and the great entrance of a Grand

Davos said:
True, though if the son takes after Mordred, I can see them still picking a fight.

That's how they bond then

Davos said:
...She may still be difficult to redeem with what I have in mind.

I will be preparing myself just in case

Davos said:
Understandable. Not sure you'll like the next part.

I have very thick skin when it comes to these type of things, I will be prepared for anything you throw my way

Davos said:
Most certainly.

Completely

Davos said:
Indeed lol

It's not a warcrime if you do it the first time lol

Davos said:
Isn't that more Christmas shenanigans than class requirements? I know there is Jeanne alter lily the santa loli.

Nah, if it was just Christmas he would be a Rider or Archer like is usual for Santa servants, Santa Karna class comes from the fact that the word for Sword and Fist is the same, as a funny fact he is summoned from Karna's training days so he goes by a more Shonen esque attitude, wich is funny
Also Jeanne D'arc Santa Lily is something else and a little difficult to explain... Let's just say that Gilles was involved and had unusual reactions to the Christmass power

Davos said:
Fair enough.

And it's true

Davos said:
Completely forgot about that.

Fair enough

Davos said:
....damn.

Being Ritsuka Fujimaru is suffering

Davos said:
It happened more than once?!

Surprisingly yes, it became a gag

Davos said:
For sure

Better watch their backs

Davos said:
....I completely forgot that if it is true.

And I thought my ADHD was bad

Davos said:
A good rule

And a necessity

Davos said:
Gag character power levels...

Remember when Taiga saved the world 8 times with her EX Rank luck... Remember it?....

Davos said:
Fair, though I think I was going for more like a Crimson Demon eye glow thing.

That's still cool

Davos said:
Doubt fgo is ending anytime soon.

They tried ending it but people didn't liked the ending so they are continuing now

Davos said:
Almost sounds like a precursor to OPM but with actual drawbacks.

True, it's also that there's something, let's say, savage sealed inside the Imagine Breaker(His right hand)

Davos said:
Same.

My man!

Davos said:
Thank you

No problem

Davos · Mar 12, 2026

alextheconqueror said:
It's not a warcrime if you do it the first time lol

Surprisingly yes, it became a gag

And I thought my ADHD was bad

Remember when Taiga saved the world 8 times with her EX Rank luck... Remember it?....

They tried ending it but people didn't liked the ending so they are continuing now

It's only cruel and unusual the first time; Than its routine.

That poor man.

Think I may just be distracted, but I do have a diagnosis for Aspergers

Was that in the Taiga dojo?

I recall the ending of the first part with Solomon being well done...

Davos · Mar 12, 2026

alextheconqueror said:
Seriously? In Ritsuka's mental monologue it says "Even after knowing who I was" so I thought it meant he knew she was his grandaughter

I just reread that part, and the thought wasn't supposed to imply he knew Ritsuka was his granddaughter, but that he knew she was nude behind Mash's shield!

alextheconqueror · Mar 12, 2026

Davos said:
It's only cruel and unusual the first time; Than its routine.

You should meet the Canadian Barbarian
(If you don't know who he is search America Wizard from Madmanfenrir)

Davos said:
That poor man.

I think he started to enjoy it lol

Davos said:
Think I may just be distracted, but I do have a diagnosis for Aspergers

Ooooh, I know how bad that can get in the day to day

Davos said:
Was that in the Taiga dojo?

Nah, in one of the side data books I think

Davos said:
I recall the ending of the first part with Solomon being well done...

And then we had the part 1.5, wich was the prelude for part 2 AKA the Lostbelts , and then there was the Ordeal Calls wich leaded to the end but people didn't liked that end(I don't feel strongly about that) so we are continuing again with another threath

Davos said:
I just reread that part, and the thought wasn't supposed to imply he knew Ritsuka was his granddaughter, but that he knew she was nude behind Mash's shield!

Oh, it should had said how I was instead of who I was then, makes it confusing if said "Who"

Davos · Mar 29, 2026

[Apologies for lateness. Irl things and was a bit stuck on trying to include some parts. Those parts will be in the next chapter.]

A few minutes after making his Servant self take the landing, Kazuma reunites with the bunch on the airship. He and Ritsuka look flatly at each other.

"…How did you survive getting out? And where is your Servant version?" Ritsuka asks.

"Pterodactyl, and he is there recovering after I used him to cushion the landing."

"Jack…ass…"

'Never thought I'd hear myself call me that…Though I can't blame him. I'd hate to be used as a cushion too.'

"Why didn't the-" Rin starts.

"Pterodactyls are jerks…" Kazuma says.

'…What's a pterodactyl?' Jeanne thinks.

'Dinosaur, giant flying reptile. Think bird without feathers…think they later evolved into birds actually.'

'Wait, if that's the case then why did they-'

'Maybe they lost faith after meeting and hearing more about him? Like us with the Lord?' Leticia thinks back, and Jeanne remains quiet a moment.

'…I didn't lose faith…though I may have lost some respect after those revelations…I really can't blame you.'

'It was just as much you as that, little miss Impaler.'

'Excusez-moi?!'

"So what will you do now?" Kazuma asks Ritsuka.

"Probably start drinking heavily."

"I meant about Fergus…but I can't blame you for that."

"Oh that. I was going to do another summon in a few minutes after my luck recovers." Ritsuka says.

"I don't think that's how luck works." Cu says.

"I'm also waiting to see if another harebrained threat emerges."

===

Darkness is lead out of the ruins by Fiore, her body sore from accidentally being used as a cushion, her legs threatening to give out with each step as she is pulled by the leash around her neck, making her smile so very much.

"What…what kind of woman knows such techniques~?" Darkness mews out while hugging herself.

"Your Master~." Fiore says with a one eyed grin, making Darkness shudder as she is pulled further along, blinded by her own lusty thoughts, lost in her own little world of anticipation until she hear moans from a nearby wobbling shed.

The wall of said shed falls over, surprising them both.

A moment later, Caelus comes out with a twitching and panting Fran on his shoulder.

Everyone freezes for a moment.

Fiore speaks first.

"Looks like my baby brother is all grown up now~."

Darkness stares in shock, first at Fiore, then at Caelus as he nears with a smirk.

"I could say the same about you. Who is your… friend?" He asks while looking with closed eyes at Darkness.

"Just a wayward toy who enjoys being shown her place~." Fiore says, making Darkness bite her lips to resist falling to her knees.

"Funny. Sounds just like Fran~."

"M-Master!? That is-" Fran's outrage fades with a smack on her butt.

"I don't mean it in a bad way. You're the best Fran!" Caelus says, making Fran cup her face.

"Aww, you've become quite the sweet talker…Is there no room for another?" Fiore asks while pulling on Darkness' collar.

"Don't be absurd! There's always room for one more!"

"How about two then~?" Fiore asks with a wink, further shocking Fran and Darkness.

"A sister is more than fine~!" Caelus says as Fiore bumps the back of Darkness' legs, making her kneel. Fran joins her a moment later, fidgeting as Fiore places a hand on both their heads.

'This world is beyond depraved, scandalous…and perfect!' Darkness thinks with glee as Fiore reaches to Caelus as they begin.

===

"So what were you saying when you got summoned Big Sis?" Achilles asks as Scathach, Megumin, and Avicebron leave the room.

"…I don't want to talk about. I thought I was in the afterlife room, but I was actually in an odd area of Hell."

"What did you see there?" Karna asks.

"The Irishman." Atalanta says, making Chiron pale.

"And there were at least five of him!" She continues and Chiron groans.

"More of him…how can this get worse?"

===

Mordred is having the time of her life.

After kicking the nimrod, she begins fighting the other Fergus, Clarent in one hand, and ornate sheath in the other to help deal with the numbers. She barely avoids an arrow for her head before flinging the sheathe at Archer Fergus, who falls to the ground with a groan. From the sounds of his wheezing, he won't be up for awhile, but that leaves Mordred with Saber, Lancer, and Caster Fergus.

Rider Fergus is busy with a crybaby.

At least until Mordred tosses Lancer Fergus into him. They look at each other and nod.

Aqua's cries and moans grow louder before becoming muffled.

"Sorry, didn't mean for that to happen!" Mordred says.

===

Musashi and Kojiro join the group, looking prim and proper, save for the bit of dust on their clothes and hair from the ruins of the Gardens.

And Musashi's hair being disheveled.

And Kojiro leaning on his sword like a cane.

"So…uh…where is Bill?" Musashi asks while playing with a bit of hair in one hand while trying to smooth out the rest with her other.

Before someone can say anything, a shadow covers them, causing them to look up and see him in the air, riding atop a cassowary, the bird's wings outstretched and gliding along the air.

"Wait, Cassowaries can't fly!" Kojiro says.

"It can after I penned that its wings can now handle flight!" Shakespeare says as they land and he takes a bow with a big smile.

"I must thank you, the material will give me a best seller that will resonate through the ages!"

"You can't publish anything." Ritsuka says, and Shakespeare freezes with a gasp.

"But this tale needs to be chronicled! With a great deal of dramatic tension and creative liberty!"

"It shall be an epic, worthy of both prior ages and modernity!" The cassowary says.

"No."

"I earned this!"

"He did a fair bit in the last fight." Jeanne says.

"Not the point. If William Shakespeare, who has been dead for hundreds of years, suddenly published something, it'll cause problems."

"I'll use a pen name!"

"In that case…no~. Your writing style is unique and people will recognize it." Ritsuka says with a smile.

Shakespeare raises his hand.

"First Folio!"

Ritsuka frowns and brings up her phone.

She calmly taps a few buttons while glancing to the side with a twitching eye and Shakespeare fades away, as does Musashi and Kojiro.

"…I'm a little disturbed how calm she was in that Noble Phantasm." Cu says as he starts fading.

"I've been through worse, and it's not the first time I've seen him use it for petty reasons...speaking of petty." Ritsuka says before looking at Kazuma holding the author's notes.

"Before we continue…why are you barefoot?" Kazuma asks.

Ritsuka cracks her knuckles and approaches.

"…I know you're not doing this on purpose, but it is still hard to believe. Good luck Kazuma." Cu says as he vanishes and Ritsuka's phone buzzes.

She contemplates her choices and answers the phone.

"Where the Hell are you summoning these Servants?!" Gordes asks.

"Romania, though I'm sure the usual randomness is included…why do you-"

"I saw, I conquered, I came!" A familiar Irishman says with a red head conceptual being smiling on one shoulder and a Goddess twitching on his other shoulder.

Chiron groans before fleeing the room.

Atalanta stands behind Achilles.

"…Really sis?"

"…Respect your elders…" Atalanta says back.

"Oh come on, the fight was just getting to the good parts!" Mordred says upon appearing.

"Who says we're done?" A few versions of Fergus says upon appearing, making Aqua groan and Alaya grin. The sound of steel clashing is overheard.

"No fighting in Chal-"

A deafening boom makes Ritsuka fumble with the phone.

"Is Chaldea under attack?!" Mash shouts.

"No…But there is a crater outside now."

"How is there a-"

A second boom is heard.

Ritsuka looks at Kazuma and Rin.

"They're your problem now." They say at the same time.

===

"…For what it's worth, you did great for a first time…and second and third…" Reika says with somewhat vacant eyes as she dresses herself, a twitch going up her back as the young man still is breathing heavily on the bed.

"I thought I was going to die after the second time…Was this swinging?" Sieg asks as Reika downs a morning after pill.

"No, and I am not really in the mood to explain that…"

'I'm sure he'll make any girl happy now…but what happened to me? And Jack is…'

===

Darkness returns with a pout, a listless Fiore, vacant eyed Caelus, and blushing Fran walking by a moment later towards Kazuma and the others.

"Are…you ok?"

"I was before." Darkness says flatly.

"…I don't know what came over us…" Fiore mutters with vacant eyes.

Caelus remains quiet.

Kazuma, Rin, Jeanne, Mash, and Ritsuka looks at them and pales.

"I-It's not what you think!" Fiore says with red cheeks.

'The Fergus effect…' Kazuma thinks.

'And I thought you were the kinky one of this bunch.' Leticia thinks, making Jeanne frown.

"Cowards…and after you made me call you Master by cracking my wrist!" Darkness says.

"I wasn't in my right mind!"

"You were in your best mind and lost it!" Darkness says while jabbing a finger into Fiore's cheek.

"What is wrong with you?" Caelus asks.

"Not enough time to explain that." Kazuma says and Darkness smiles.

"Not even a minute upon my return and you already insult me…You should follow his deplorable example, you incestuously inclined deviants!"

"I am not incest inclined!" Fiore and Caelus say at the same time.

"That's a lie…and judging from the sensation of this lie, they both have had this inclination for some time now." Karna says from the phone, Gordes taking the phone back with a mutter as both siblings pale, glance at the other and back at the phone.

"Oh God…I was a replacement, and now I'm a third wheel…" Fran says.

"No!" Caelus shouts.

"Wait, you can speak?! How?" Rin asks and Caelus blushes while nudging his glasses.

"We… we're controlled by something that made us do it!"

"Technically Fergus' disposition only made you and humanity more open about their desires, it didn't plant new ones." Alaya says from the phone, making the siblings pale even further.

"That…can't be true…that means I wanted to solicit my grandpa and brother for...for…" Fiore says with tears at the corners of her eyes.

"Don't worry about it! Incest has been a common desire throughout the history of humanity!" Alaya says in a chipper tone, her smile falling when Fiore starts crying.

Jeanne maintains a neutral face while glancing at Fiore and Caelus before glancing at Kazuma.

'…Wonder if I can recreate-'

'Don't go down that line of thought Jeanne, please…'

===

Cu appears in a room with a familiar armored knight fighting multiple versions of his step father, one of whom is carrying a fidgeting Aqua and a smiling Alaya.

He ignores this and lets them have their fun.

'Wonder how much changed since I've been away with two Grail Wars and a short stay in another world?' He wonders before walking by. In the hall he sees a horrible sight.

The Archer in red carrying his teacher on his back.

He readies his spear.

"Put that down, I didn't do anything to her." Emiya says.

"You sure as Hell didn't beat her. Is it a spell, or did you drug her food you NTR bastard!?"

"I am not-!"

"I did this to myself…I underestimated the mana needed for that delightful spell." Scathach says, her chin on Emiya's shoulder.

"Spell?" Cu asks as a deafening boom is heard. Emiya sighs with closed eyes.

"That fool was supposed to carry Megumin back, not cast the spell…"

"…I know how to make you relax and forget about that…~" Scathach says with a grin, making Cu freeze with a groan at her voice, and Emiya raise an eyebrow out of puzzlement.

The sound of a tray dropping to the floor makes Emiya look behind Cu.

What he sees makes him groan.

Behind Cu Chulainn with a twitching eye is Medusa.

"Medi it's not what you think!"

"You expect me to believe she's not your type? She's tall and can kick your ass too!"

"I didn't know you were part Irish…that's good to know." Scathach says, making Cu groan again.

"Will you stop making this worse…" Emiya asks as Medusa raises a dagger.

"I thought it would be a good precursor for later~." Scathach says.

Medusa throws a knife at Scathach.

Emiya drops her to the floor so the blade misses. Scathach stands back up, spear in hand.

"I thought you couldn't walk?"

"I can now, but I am still tired…which should make this almost a fair match for her~." Scathach says with a grin at Medusa. Cu relaxes with a sigh.

'Thank Gods…she only said all that to taunt Medusa into fighting her!'

"You're next, you charming coward." Medusa says while glancing at Emiya.

He takes a deep breath and smiles.

"I am no coward, but I know not to stand in the way of an angry woman…But I will make this up to you later."

"What are you going to-"

"Lurk." He says and vanishes.

'…Honestly, can't blame him…Just glad he's not an ntr bastard.' Cu thinks before leaving as Scathach and Medusa start fighting.

===

"We probably have another debacle to stop now thanks to you, so we'll take our leave." Ritsuka says as a section of ruined castle wall explodes.

A minute later, Artoria staggers out.

How the Hell is she still alive?!' They all think at the same time.

Ritsuka taps on her phone and a moment later she and Mash start to fade.

"Aren't you gonna help with this?!" Rin asks.

"She's your problem now~." Ritsuka says with the biggest shit eater grin while flipping off Kazuma. Her smile falters when Kazuma raises a hand and a flash blinds them.

"Kazuma wait! she doesn't-!" Jeanne and Rin start to say.

"You bastard! Not again!" Ritsuka says while crossing her arms over her chest.

Mash stares blankly ahead while covering Ritsuka with her shield.

"Steal!" He chants as both girls vanish, now holding a trench coat.

"…Surprised I got this and not-wait…" Kazuma pales with a realization.

Then Artoria falls forward and vanishes.

Both Kazuma's relax. Then they look at the other and head into the ruined Gardens. A few minutes later he returns with Avalon.

"I doubt you can benefit from its magical properties…and what about Ritsuka?" Rin asks.

"I'll deal with her if she shows up somehow…And I suspected as much since it's actually starting to burn as I hold it. I think Arty's hatred of me is causing that." Kazuma says, prompting Darkness to grab the sheath.

"Down girl, you can't use this for fun!"

"Then why do you want it?" Jeanne asks.

"To sell it." Kazuma says.

"…That would help with the debt…But I do like how it burns to the touch~." Darkness says.

"Shame we can't tell the blight about that plan." Jeanne says.

===

"I'm a little touched you went to me when scared big sis~."

"Who better to combat a pervert than another pervert?" Atalanta says.

"I am no pervert!" Achilles says, drawing a flat look from Atalanta before she looks at Karna.

Karna matches her gaze in silence.

"Well?" Atalanta asks.

"Are you expecting something from me?" Karna asks back.

"You know what I am expecting."

"Do you think I just hide around corners or wait in spirit form to expose lies~?" Karna asks with a smile that grows a little larger as her ear twitches.

"He's not lying if that is what you are wondering." Karna says with a fist behind his back, clenched tight enough that a bit of blood is dripping along his fingers.

'I am treating him to a feast or fighting him with everything I have later!' Achilles thinks while forcing himself not to smile.

Then Atalanta smiles.

Achilles suspects she is planning something but finds himself lost in that face.

"Rule Breaker!" Medea says before stabbing Achilles.

"By my Command Seal, tell the truth!" Medea says, a seal vanishing from her hand.

"You stab like a girl."

"By my command seal, stop being a smart ass!" Medea orders with a frown.

Achilles brings his one leg forward and raises his spear to stab his heel.

Karna grabs the spear and stops him.

Atalanta glares at Medea while cracking a knuckle.

"…That was not my intent." Medea says as Shakespeare appears with slouched shoulders before looking up around him. Musashi and Kojiro appear a moment later behind him.

Mordred and Fergus fighting.

A former comrade who voted him out.

One who did not.

He raises his hand towards Fergus.

"First Folio." He says in monotone and all the Fergus gasp and look into empty space in horror.

"No Fildas, not the whip! Not the branding iron! The scar just healed!" They shout in fearful harmony.

Mordred freezes in terror before fleeing the room.

"First Folio." Shakespeare says, and Mordred stops at the door.

"M-mom? Oh no not again…" Mordred stammers as Shakespeare points at Atalanta.

"First Folio." He says and she groans in increasing horror while running out and reaching for something is not there.

"Not the children!"

"You bastard! I will-" Achilles starts for the Bard.

"First Folio."

Achilles instantly pales and begins running at blinding speed, grabbing Atalanta as he runs away.

'What in the world? Shakespeare has never been like this before…' Gordes thinks as a worker taps his shoulder.

"Sir, you may want to look at this…"

On the screen are Shakespeare's stats. Everything is normal save for one additional skill.

Madness enhancement C.

"If I cannot bring joy, I will usher in terror…!"

===

A rip appears near the group in Romania.

"…At least there isn't fire this time." Eris says with a tired smile.

"Are you here to send us back?" Kazuma asks.

"Not quite…Alaya and Aqua contacted me regarding what is happening in Chaldea and…Alaya made a surprising suggestion."

"I refuse." Kazuma says.

"I understand why you're saying that, but please listen first! It's not that bad actually."

"I don't believe it."

"We should at least hear her out. It's not like she can suggest anything dumber at this rate." Rin says.

"…Ok. What is it?"

"Take Mordred, Shakespeare, and a few others to Belzerg."

"Wait, why does she want them there?"

"Mordred does have a chance of causing ruination if she wins a Grail War…as for Shakespeare…"

Eris plays a recording of Shakespeare laughing evilly while traumatizing everyone in Chaldea.

Except for Karna, Medea, Aqua, and Alaya.

Gordes is looking at a transcript of the last few minutes of conversation in Romania with an open mouth.

"…So that's why father never wanted me to stay overnight at Aunt Fiore's…"

Ritsuka is hiding behind Mash's shield as they awkwardly leave the room.

"…That is….mostly not my fault. At least not the Shakespeare part."

"So they don't need a vacation?" Eris asks, making Kazuma freeze.

"That…I….Eh…I'll help them find lodging…" Kazuma says.

"…I'll teleport Darkness and Miss Jeanne first and leave you alone for a few days." Eris says.

"Wait, why not them?" Jeanne asks and Eris pauses a moment.

"…They are uh…well…need some alone time?" Eris says and Rin look away with a blush.

"Th-that's not…how can you just go and say that?! The implication is beyond-"

"I'm sorry, I guess I just thought you two would like a few days of relaxation considering how prior grail war ended." Eris says.

"Oh…t-that makes more sense. Though I am not sure how I can relax in this place…"

"That is a fair point…I doubt whipped cream is readily available here either." Eris says before blanching.

"Whipped cream? What are you-" Rin devolves into a creaky groan upon understanding.

Kazuma also pales.

Jeanne's mouth hangs open a moment.

"You watched us?!"

"No! I only saw a second because I thought you were done after the prior day!" Eris says, making Rin cup her face.

"You saw both times…"

"It was an accident!"

'Oh no, how tragic, he's taken by another pervert…guess we should go see Sieg to console ourselves!' Leticia thinks at Jeanne in sing song.

"I mean…it's not bad having an audience is it?" Kazuma asks, making the rip warble a moment as Rin glares at him.

"I know you're a pervert but to even suggest that?!"

'…I don't think so.' Jeanne thinks back at Leticia.

'What are you going to do, take the guy from the girl that went to another world and back for him? Even if you don't agree to being a Saint, that is just bad from every angle.'

'Who said she would be excluded'?

'What?' Leticia groans out as Jeanne cups Rin's face.

"Jeanne? What are you-" Rin's question gets muffled when Jeanne pulls her in closer.

Rin freezes from the surprise, stunned at feeling a tongue slip into her mouth.

Kazuma is also wide eyed, and Eris squeaks before leaving.

'I am not coming back here for at least a week!'

Darkness smiles slightly until she finds herself being teleported.

'Since when were you into girls Jeanne?!'

'I'm not that inclined, but I am French…and I figured getting on good terms with her would help.'

'That is just a rude stereotype of the French! And how do you think a impromptu make out is going to-' Leticia falls silent when Jeanne pulls back, showing a blushing and fidgeting Rin.

'Oh God…you're all perverts.'

'Like you're any better?' Jeanne thinks while still cupping Rin's face.

'I know I had a thing for men of the cloth…but Saints too?' Rin thinks while staring up at Jeanne.

'…Am I being cucked by a beautiful bastard?' Kazuma thinks while watching with no shame at the two women before his Servant version stands by him and grabs his shoulder.

"Go on ahead with Rin…I'll deal with her!" Servant Kazuma says with a smile and glint in his eye.

"…You expect me of all people to believe you're doing this for altruistic reasons?"

"You think you can deal with an amorous Servant who can take on 14 other Servants?"

"You think I'm against a ménage a trios?~" Jeanne asks, shutting them all up.

'There was no liquor involved, how did this happen?' Rin thinks in shock while being pulled along by Jeanne back to the Gardens with the two smiling Kazuma following.

She catches herself smiling too a moment later.

'…I'll just call it the start of a vacation~.'

Fernando · Mar 29, 2026

Peak! Peak has graced us with its presence!

Let us sing joyously at the revelations!

I can't believe Achilles-bro was saved by Karna-bro. Not a pervert my ass.

QWStag767 · Mar 29, 2026

So, did Fergus actually rape Aqua?

Davos · Mar 29, 2026

QWStag767 said:
So, did Fergus actually rape Aqua?

Yep.

Sliverhero · Mar 29, 2026

Davos said:
Yep.

Fergus and Alaya are lucky that the two kazuma dont know that Aqua was raped. As they would more then likely find a way to kill the two as after all the main reason why kazuma took out the demon king in canon was because he made aqua cry

Albedodragono · Mar 29, 2026

I wonder what comes next Lostbelts or fgo events? Or the arc plays in their world for a while also I hope kazuma gets some Revenge for Aqua.

Daveofthevoid · Mar 29, 2026

I swear to god if Strange/Fake is next it's about to get alot stranger.

Davos · Mar 30, 2026

Sliverhero said:
Fergus and Alaya are lucky that the two kazuma dont know that Aqua was raped. As they would more then likely find a way to kill the two as after all the main reason why kazuma took out the demon king in canon was because he made aqua cry

That is something to possibly negotiate in the final chapter...

Albedodragono said:
I wonder what comes next Lostbelts or fgo events? Or the arc plays in their world for a while also I hope kazuma gets some Revenge for Aqua.

I was considering a different thing entirely, though not sure I should say due to spoilers.

Daveofthevoid said:
I swear to god if Strange/Fake is next it's about to get alot stranger.

I actually haven't watched that. Is it good?

BloodFartMoon · Mar 30, 2026

Davos said:
I actually haven't watched that. Is it good?

Its Peak

Trihexa97 · Mar 31, 2026

Davos said:
"I'll deal with her if she shows up somehow…And I suspected as much since it's actually starting to burn as I hold it. I think Arty's hatred of me is causing that." Kazuma says, prompting Darkness to grab the sheath.

Considering that is a fae artifact it might be doing more then just burning him. Well it should nasuverse fairies are quite dark.

Davos · Wednesday at 1:32 AM

Trihexa97 said:
Considering that is a fae artifact it might be doing more then just burning him. Well it should nasuverse fairies are quite dark.

Don't know much off hand about them...Is it as bad as the Medusa stuff in the vn?

alextheconqueror · Wednesday at 1:48 AM

Davos said:
[Apologies for lateness. Irl things and was a bit stuck on trying to include some parts. Those parts will be in the next chapter.]

Don't worry about it, irl comes first

Davos said:
A few minutes after making his Servant self take the landing, Kazuma reunites with the bunch on the airship. He and Ritsuka look flatly at each other.

"…How did you survive getting out? And where is your Servant version?" Ritsuka asks.

"Pterodactyl, and he is there recovering after I used him to cushion the landing."

"Jack…ass…"

The callback she will recieve when she goes to south america will be glorious. at least Gudao will enjoy seeing the dinosaurs

Davos said:
'Never thought I'd hear myself call me that…Though I can't blame him. I'd hate to be used as a cushion too.'

Hey, at least you are self aware

Davos said:
"Why didn't the-" Rin starts.

"Pterodactyls are jerks…" Kazuma says.

Funny thing that is also true for the Lostbelt

Davos said:
'…What's a pterodactyl?' Jeanne thinks.

'Dinosaur, giant flying reptile. Think bird without feathers…think they later evolved into birds actually.'

Yep, also they actually had feathers, well some of hem at least

Davos said:
'Wait, if that's the case then why did they-'

'Maybe they lost faith after meeting and hearing more about him? Like us with the Lord?' Leticia thinks back, and Jeanne remains quiet a moment.

I doubt he had faith to begin with, he said he was agnostic from what I recall

Davos said:
'…I didn't lose faith…though I may have lost some respect after those revelations…I really can't blame you.'

Aww, she is still a faithfulll girl, guess you can't take that from Jeanne

Davos said:
'It was just as much you as that, little miss Impaler.'

'Excusez-moi?!'

Wonder how Vlad would react to that lol

Davos said:
"So what will you do now?" Kazuma asks Ritsuka.

"Probably start drinking heavily."

"I meant about Fergus…but I can't blame you for that."

Neither do I, surprised she didn't started before

Davos said:
"Oh that. I was going to do another summon in a few minutes after my luck recovers." Ritsuka says.

I feel you sister

Davos said:
"I don't think that's how luck works." Cu says.

It doesn't, luck doesn't actually run out, but it can be cancelled by the luck of other person, like with Kazuma and Aqua

Davos said:
"I'm also waiting to see if another harebrained threat emerges."

Davos said:
Darkness is lead out of the ruins by Fiore, her body sore from accidentally being used as a cushion, her legs threatening to give out with each step as she is pulled by the leash around her neck, making her smile so very much.

Darkness is enjoying life

Davos said:
"What…what kind of woman knows such techniques~?" Darkness mews out while hugging herself.

"Your Master~." Fiore says with a one eyed grin, making Darkness shudder as she is pulled further along, blinded by her own lusty thoughts, lost in her own little world of anticipation until she hear moans from a nearby wobbling shed.

Damm, Darkness may be in love at this point

Davos said:
The wall of said shed falls over, surprising them both.

A moment later, Caelus comes out with a twitching and panting Fran on his shoulder.

Oh, ooooooh, this is gonna be... something

Davos said:
Fiore speaks first.

"Looks like my baby brother is all grown up now~."

Darkness stares in shock, first at Fiore, then at Caelus as he nears with a smirk.

This is like watching a trainwreck, I can't stop watching

Davos said:
"I could say the same about you. Who is your… friend?" He asks while looking with closed eyes at Darkness.

"Just a wayward toy who enjoys being shown her place~." Fiore says, making Darkness bite her lips to resist falling to her knees.

"Funny. Sounds just like Fran~."

"M-Master!? That is-" Fran's outrage fades with a smack on her butt.

"I don't mean it in a bad way. You're the best Fran!" Caelus says, making Fran cup her face.

This is both wholesome and horny, and I quite like it

Davos said:
"Aww, you've become quite the sweet talker…Is there no room for another?" Fiore asks while pulling on Darkness' collar.

"Don't be absurd! There's always room for one more!"

"How about two then~?" Fiore asks with a wink, further shocking Fran and Darkness.

"A sister is more than fine~!" Caelus says as Fiore bumps the back of Darkness' legs, making her kneel. Fran joins her a moment later, fidgeting as Fiore places a hand on both their heads.

The way they are gonna react when this is all over

Davos said:
'This world is beyond depraved, scandalous…and perfect!' Darkness thinks with glee as Fiore reaches to Caelus as they begin.

Enjoy while you can

Davos said:
"So what were you saying when you got summoned Big Sis?" Achilles asks as Scathach, Megumin, and Avicebron leave the room.

"…I don't want to talk about. I thought I was in the afterlife room, but I was actually in an odd area of Hell."

Nah, hell isn't actually that bad, you just were signed up to defend the afterlife without consent

Davos said:
"What did you see there?" Karna asks.

"The Irishman." Atalanta says, making Chiron pale.

"And there were at least five of him!" She continues and Chiron groans.

"More of him…how can this get worse?"

Goddamit Chiron, you goofed!!

Davos said:
Rider Fergus is busy with a crybaby.

At least until Mordred tosses Lancer Fergus into him. They look at each other and nod.

Aqua's cries and moans grow louder before becoming muffled.

"Sorry, didn't mean for that to happen!" Mordred says.

Should had expected that Mordred, just pray that Kazuma doesn't know about this

Davos said:
Musashi and Kojiro join the group, looking prim and proper, save for the bit of dust on their clothes and hair from the ruins of the Gardens.

And Musashi's hair being disheveled.

And Kojiro leaning on his sword like a cane.

I think they went for more than just one round

Davos said:
"So…uh…where is Bill?" Musashi asks while playing with a bit of hair in one hand while trying to smooth out the rest with her other.

Before someone can say anything, a shadow covers them, causing them to look up and see him in the air, riding atop a cassowary, the bird's wings outstretched and gliding along the air.

"Wait, Cassowaries can't fly!" Kojiro says.

Don't question it

Davos said:
"I must thank you, the material will give me a best seller that will resonate through the ages!"

"You can't publish anything." Ritsuka says, and Shakespeare freezes with a gasp.

"But this tale needs to be chronicled! With a great deal of dramatic tension and creative liberty!"

"It shall be an epic, worthy of both prior ages and modernity!" The cassowary says.

Let the man publish his book!!

Davos said:
"No."

"I earned this!"

"He did a fair bit in the last fight." Jeanne says.

He deserves it

Davos said:
"Not the point. If William Shakespeare, who has been dead for hundreds of years, suddenly published something, it'll cause problems."

"I'll use a pen name!"

"In that case…no~. Your writing style is unique and people will recognize it." Ritsuka says with a smile.

You are overstimating people brainpower, at most they will think that someone is copying Shakespeare, and even have the audacity to say it's a bad copy of his writting style lol

Davos said:
"First Folio!"

Ritsuka frowns and brings up her phone.

She calmly taps a few buttons while glancing to the side with a twitching eye and Shakespeare fades away, as does Musashi and Kojiro.

Yep, just another tuesday

Davos said:
"…I'm a little disturbed how calm she was in that Noble Phantasm." Cu says as he starts fading.

"I've been through worse, and it's not the first time I've seen him use it for petty reasons...speaking of petty." Ritsuka says before looking at Kazuma holding the author's notes.

Yeah that tracks

Davos said:
"Before we continue…why are you barefoot?" Kazuma asks.

Bad timming!!

Davos said:
"…I know you're not doing this on purpose, but it is still hard to believe. Good luck Kazuma." Cu says as he vanishes and Ritsuka's phone buzzes.

She contemplates her choices and answers the phone.

"Where the Hell are you summoning these Servants?!" Gordes asks.

And there it is

Davos said:
"Romania, though I'm sure the usual randomness is included…why do you-"

"I saw, I conquered, I came!" A familiar Irishman says with a red head conceptual being smiling on one shoulder and a Goddess twitching on his other shoulder.

Oh god, someone punch him in the face

Davos said:
Chiron groans before fleeing the room.

Expected

Davos said:
Atalanta stands behind Achilles.

"…Really sis?"

"…Respect your elders…" Atalanta says back.

Be happy that she considers you as a safe place

Davos said:
"Oh come on, the fight was just getting to the good parts!" Mordred says upon appearing.

"Who says we're done?" A few versions of Fergus says upon appearing, making Aqua groan and Alaya grin. The sound of steel clashing is overheard.

"No fighting in Chal-"

Guess the Chaldea protection squad is dealing with that

Davos said:
"Is Chaldea under attack?!" Mash shouts.

"No…But there is a crater outside now."

"How is there a-"

A second boom is heard.

Sooooooo, who is hungry?

Davos said:
Ritsuka looks at Kazuma and Rin.

"They're your problem now." They say at the same time.

Standard procedure

Davos said:
"…For what it's worth, you did great for a first time…and second and third…" Reika says with somewhat vacant eyes as she dresses herself, a twitch going up her back as the young man still is breathing heavily on the bed.

"I thought I was going to die after the second time…Was this swinging?" Sieg asks as Reika downs a morning after pill.

Not exactly...

Davos said:
"No, and I am not really in the mood to explain that…"

'I'm sure he'll make any girl happy now…but what happened to me? And Jack is…'

She may like the idea of having a new dad, and maybe a little sibling

Davos said:
Darkness returns with a pout, a listless Fiore, vacant eyed Caelus, and blushing Fran walking by a moment later towards Kazuma and the others.

"Are…you ok?"

"I was before." Darkness says flatly.

I guess they were in the middle of something good

Davos said:
"…I don't know what came over us…" Fiore mutters with vacant eyes.

Caelus remains quiet.

Yeah, the whiplash is taking effect

Davos said:
Kazuma, Rin, Jeanne, Mash, and Ritsuka looks at them and pales.

"I-It's not what you think!" Fiore says with red cheeks.

It is in fact what they think

Davos said:
'The Fergus effect…' Kazuma thinks.

'And I thought you were the kinky one of this bunch.' Leticia thinks, making Jeanne frown.

Oh trust me, if you read what I did

Davos said:
"Cowards…and after you made me call you Master by cracking my wrist!" Darkness says.

"I wasn't in my right mind!"

"You were in your best mind and lost it!" Darkness says while jabbing a finger into Fiore's cheek.

For all the things to be indignant, classic Darkness

Davos said:
"What is wrong with you?" Caelus asks.

"Not enough time to explain that." Kazuma says and Darkness smiles.

Would take a few hours maybe

Davos said:
"Not even a minute upon my return and you already insult me…You should follow his deplorable example, you incestuously inclined deviants!"

"I am not incest inclined!" Fiore and Caelus say at the same time.

"That's a lie…and judging from the sensation of this lie, they both have had this inclination for some time now." Karna says from the phone, Gordes taking the phone back with a mutter as both siblings pale, glance at the other and back at the phone.

Not even surprised, Magus can be kinky, did you know that Rin's and Sakura's mother come from a family especifically designed to breed magus? They are made to be wifes XD

Davos said:
"Oh God…I was a replacement, and now I'm a third wheel…" Fran says.

"No!" Caelus shouts.

Don't say that Fran, there's always being a trouple... I may not be helping

Davos said:
"Wait, you can speak?! How?" Rin asks and Caelus blushes while nudging his glasses.

He fucked her so hard she aquired the ability to speak

Davos said:
"We… we're controlled by something that made us do it!"

"Technically Fergus' disposition only made you and humanity more open about their desires, it didn't plant new ones." Alaya says from the phone, making the siblings pale even further.

Oh god it just get worse

Davos said:
"That…can't be true…that means I wanted to solicit my grandpa and brother for...for…" Fiore says with tears at the corners of her eyes.

And you called Fergus a freak lol

Davos said:
"Don't worry about it! Incest has been a common desire throughout the history of humanity!" Alaya says in a chipper tone, her smile falling when Fiore starts crying.

I don't think that helped

Davos said:
Jeanne maintains a neutral face while glancing at Fiore and Caelus before glancing at Kazuma.

'…Wonder if I can recreate-'

'Don't go down that line of thought Jeanne, please…'

Nonono, let her cook

Davos said:
Cu appears in a room with a familiar armored knight fighting multiple versions of his step father, one of whom is carrying a fidgeting Aqua and a smiling Alaya.

He ignores this and lets them have their fun.

Yeah, let's not touch that

Davos said:
'Wonder how much changed since I've been away with two Grail Wars and a short stay in another world?' He wonders before walking by. In the hall he sees a horrible sight.

Eeeeeeh

Davos said:
The Archer in red carrying his teacher on his back.

He readies his spear.

This is not what it looks like

Davos said:
"Put that down, I didn't do anything to her." Emiya says.

"You sure as Hell didn't beat her. Is it a spell, or did you drug her food you NTR bastard!?"

Whoa whoa whoa, Emiya would never mess with food

Davos said:
"I am not-!"

"I did this to myself…I underestimated the mana needed for that delightful spell." Scathach says, her chin on Emiya's shoulder.

Oh, she fell for the explosion fever

Davos said:
"Spell?" Cu asks as a deafening boom is heard. Emiya sighs with closed eyes.

"That fool was supposed to carry Megumin back, not cast the spell…"

Yep, not surprised by this

Davos said:
"…I know how to make you relax and forget about that…~" Scathach says with a grin, making Cu freeze with a groan at her voice, and Emiya raise an eyebrow out of puzzlement.

...DId, did I miss something?

Davos said:
The sound of a tray dropping to the floor makes Emiya look behind Cu.

What he sees makes him groan.

Behind Cu Chulainn with a twitching eye is Medusa.

Oh, I see what she did

Davos said:
"Medi it's not what you think!"

"You expect me to believe she's not your type? She's tall and can kick your ass too!"

That's a lot of peoples type tbf

Davos said:
"I didn't know you were part Irish…that's good to know." Scathach says, making Cu groan again.

I mean, he had red hair lol

Davos said:
"Will you stop making this worse…" Emiya asks as Medusa raises a dagger.

"I thought it would be a good precursor for later~." Scathach says.

Stop the innuendos Scathatch, you student/lover/son is in the room

Davos said:
Medusa throws a knife at Scathach.

Emiya drops her to the floor so the blade misses. Scathach stands back up, spear in hand.

Fight fight fight fight

Davos said:
"I thought you couldn't walk?"

"I can now, but I am still tired…which should make this almost a fair match for her~." Scathach says with a grin at Medusa. Cu relaxes with a sigh.

True enough

Davos said:
'Thank Gods…she only said all that to taunt Medusa into fighting her!'

Otherwise would had been a weird talk

Davos said:
"You're next, you charming coward." Medusa says while glancing at Emiya.

He takes a deep breath and smiles.

"I am no coward, but I know not to stand in the way of an angry woman…But I will make this up to you later."

His luck with women teached him good

Davos said:
"What are you going to-"

"Lurk." He says and vanishes.

Good choice

Davos said:
'…Honestly, can't blame him…Just glad he's not an ntr bastard.' Cu thinks before leaving as Scathach and Medusa start fighting.

Nah, that's Gil, and the other Shirou now...

Davos said:
"We probably have another debacle to stop now thanks to you, so we'll take our leave." Ritsuka says as a section of ruined castle wall explodes.

There is always a debacle, even your free time is a debacle

Davos said:
A minute later, Artoria staggers out.

How the Hell is she still alive?!' They all think at the same time.

Yeah, same, how the hell!? She isn't Siegfried to tank all this shit

Davos said:
Ritsuka taps on her phone and a moment later she and Mash start to fade.

"Aren't you gonna help with this?!" Rin asks.

"She's your problem now~." Ritsuka says with the biggest shit eater grin while flipping off Kazuma. Her smile falters when Kazuma raises a hand and a flash blinds them.

Hah, what a comeback

Davos said:
"Kazuma wait! she doesn't-!" Jeanne and Rin start to say.

"You bastard! Not again!" Ritsuka says while crossing her arms over her chest.

Worst part is he doesn't even knew lol
And if she told him about it he wouldn't even do it

Davos said:
Mash stares blankly ahead while covering Ritsuka with her shield.

"Steal!" He chants as both girls vanish, now holding a trench coat.

"…Surprised I got this and not-wait…" Kazuma pales with a realization.

And the enlightement came

Davos said:
Then Artoria falls forward and vanishes.

Both Kazuma's relax. Then they look at the other and head into the ruined Gardens. A few minutes later he returns with Avalon.

Well that's a problem solved

Davos said:
"I doubt you can benefit from its magical properties…and what about Ritsuka?" Rin asks.

"I'll deal with her if she shows up somehow…And I suspected as much since it's actually starting to burn as I hold it. I think Arty's hatred of me is causing that." Kazuma says, prompting Darkness to grab the sheath.

Wouldn't be surprised if it was

Davos said:
"Down girl, you can't use this for fun!"

"Then why do you want it?" Jeanne asks.

"To sell it." Kazuma says.

Typical Kazuma pettyness

Davos said:
"I'm a little touched you went to me when scared big sis~."

"Who better to combat a pervert than another pervert?" Atalanta says.

Ouch

Davos said:
"I am no pervert!" Achilles says, drawing a flat look from Atalanta before she looks at Karna.

Give the man a rest lol

Davos said:
Karna matches her gaze in silence.

"Well?" Atalanta asks.

"Are you expecting something from me?" Karna asks back.

"You know what I am expecting."

"Do you think I just hide around corners or wait in spirit form to expose lies~?" Karna asks with a smile that grows a little larger as her ear twitches.

I mean yeah, that's your thing

Davos said:
"He's not lying if that is what you are wondering." Karna says with a fist behind his back, clenched tight enough that a bit of blood is dripping along his fingers.

'I am treating him to a feast or fighting him with everything I have later!' Achilles thinks while forcing himself not to smile.

This was such a bro move

Davos said:
Then Atalanta smiles.

Achilles suspects she is planning something but finds himself lost in that face.

"Rule Breaker!" Medea says before stabbing Achilles.

Goddamit Medea, well time to see how this blows in her face

Davos said:
"By my Command Seal, tell the truth!" Medea says, a seal vanishing from her hand.

"You stab like a girl."

Good retort, would had say the same

Davos said:
"By my command seal, stop being a smart ass!" Medea orders with a frown.

Achilles brings his one leg forward and raises his spear to stab his heel.

Ad this is the moment where her girlfailure aura activates

Davos said:
Karna grabs the spear and stops him.

Atalanta glares at Medea while cracking a knuckle.

"…That was not my intent." Medea says as Shakespeare appears with slouched shoulders before looking up around him. Musashi and Kojiro appear a moment later behind him.

Tbf, you have history of stabbing people lol

Davos said:
Mordred and Fergus fighting.

A former comrade who voted him out.

One who did not.

He raises his hand towards Fergus.

"First Folio." He says in monotone and all the Fergus gasp and look into empty space in horror.

Huh, surprised he didn't did that before

Davos said:
"No Fildas, not the whip! Not the branding iron! The scar just healed!" They shout in fearful harmony.

Is a requirement to be a Saber to have bad history with BDSM?

Davos said:
Mordred freezes in terror before fleeing the room.

"First Folio." Shakespeare says, and Mordred stops at the door.

"M-mom? Oh no not again…" Mordred stammers as Shakespeare points at Atalanta.

And the trauma starts again

Davos said:
"First Folio." He says and she groans in increasing horror while running out and reaching for something is not there.

"Not the children!"

Oh, this one actually sounds pretty bad

Davos said:
"You bastard! I will-" Achilles starts for the Bard.

"First Folio."

Achilles instantly pales and begins running at blinding speed, grabbing Atalanta as he runs away.

He saw Artoria, I can bet for it

Davos said:
'What in the world? Shakespeare has never been like this before…' Gordes thinks as a worker taps his shoulder.

"Sir, you may want to look at this…"

On the screen are Shakespeare's stats. Everything is normal save for one additional skill.

Madness enhancement C.

Oh boy

Davos said:
"If I cannot bring joy, I will usher in terror…!"

Trauma, the word you wanted to say was trauma!!

Davos said:
A rip appears near the group in Romania.

"…At least there isn't fire this time." Eris says with a tired smile.

That's a Fuyuki thing, mostly at least

Davos said:
"Are you here to send us back?" Kazuma asks.

"Not quite…Alaya and Aqua contacted me regarding what is happening in Chaldea and…Alaya made a surprising suggestion."

"I refuse." Kazuma says.

I do so by principle

Davos said:
"I understand why you're saying that, but please listen first! It's not that bad actually."

"I don't believe it."

"We should at least hear her out. It's not like she can suggest anything dumber at this rate." Rin says.

Don't understimate those two

Davos said:
"…Ok. What is it?"

"Take Mordred, Shakespeare, and a few others to Belzerg."

I guess she mean ours and not the ones in Chaldea, wonder how will they react to the mess their counterparts make

Davos said:
"Wait, why does she want them there?"

"Mordred does have a chance of causing ruination if she wins a Grail War…as for Shakespeare…"

I'm still surprised about that part, specially with the usual procedure to deal with those timelines that don't follow a point fixed in time is to just erase it

Davos said:
Eris plays a recording of Shakespeare laughing evilly while traumatizing everyone in Chaldea.

Except for Karna, Medea, Aqua, and Alaya.

Gordes is looking at a transcript of the last few minutes of conversation in Romania with an open mouth.

Yeah, good thing we don't have to deal with that

Davos said:
"…So that's why father never wanted me to stay overnight at Aunt Fiore's…"

Oh, yeah, probably,
At least we know that Gordes was a responsible father

Davos said:
Ritsuka is hiding behind Mash's shield as they awkwardly leave the room.

They are already used to this shit happening lol

Davos said:
"…That is….mostly not my fault. At least not the Shakespeare part."

I don't think any of that is your fault

Davos said:
"So they don't need a vacation?" Eris asks, making Kazuma freeze.

Low blow Eris

Davos said:
"That…I….Eh…I'll help them find lodging…" Kazuma says.

"…I'll teleport Darkness and Miss Jeanne first and leave you alone for a few days." Eris says.

At least you give them some special time, if you get what I mean 7w7

Davos said:
"Wait, why not them?" Jeanne asks and Eris pauses a moment.

"…They are uh…well…need some alone time?" Eris says and Rin look away with a blush.

"Th-that's not…how can you just go and say that?! The implication is beyond-"

"I'm sorry, I guess I just thought you two would like a few days of relaxation considering how prior grail war ended." Eris says.

Never said truer words

Davos said:
"Oh…t-that makes more sense. Though I am not sure how I can relax in this place…"

"That is a fair point…I doubt whipped cream is readily available here either." Eris says before blanching.

"Whipped cream? What are you-" Rin devolves into a creaky groan upon understanding.

Yeah, she knows, completely

Davos said:
Jeanne's mouth hangs open a moment.

She just learned that a goddess is a voyeour hahahaha

Davos said:
"You watched us?!"

"No! I only saw a second because I thought you were done after the prior day!" Eris says, making Rin cup her face.

"You saw both times…"

"It was an accident!"

A happy accident

Davos said:
'Oh no, how tragic, he's taken by another pervert…guess we should go see Sieg to console ourselves!' Leticia thinks at Jeanne in sing song.

Girl, you aren't even being subtle

Davos said:
"I mean…it's not bad having an audience is it?" Kazuma asks, making the rip warble a moment as Rin glares at him.

"I know you're a pervert but to even suggest that?!"

Like you don't like the idea

Davos said:
'…I don't think so.' Jeanne thinks back at Leticia.

'What are you going to do, take the guy from the girl that went to another world and back for him? Even if you don't agree to being a Saint, that is just bad from every angle.'

'Who said she would be excluded'?

'What?' Leticia groans out as Jeanne cups Rin's face.

Oh yeah~

Davos said:
"Jeanne? What are you-" Rin's question gets muffled when Jeanne pulls her in closer.

Rin freezes from the surprise, stunned at feeling a tongue slip into her mouth.

Whoooohoooo, I was waiting for this

Davos said:
Kazuma is also wide eyed, and Eris squeaks before leaving.

'I am not coming back here for at least a week!'

Probably for the better

Davos said:
Darkness smiles slightly until she finds herself being teleported.

She is just happy for them

Davos said:
'Since when were you into girls Jeanne?!'

'I'm not that inclined, but I am French…and I figured getting on good terms with her would help.'

Fair, that's part of how I discovered I was bi lol

Davos said:
'That is just a rude stereotype of the French! And how do you think a impromptu make out is going to-' Leticia falls silent when Jeanne pulls back, showing a blushing and fidgeting Rin.

'Oh God…you're all perverts.'

Surprised it took you this long to put two and two together

Davos said:
'Like you're any better?' Jeanne thinks while still cupping Rin's face.

'I know I had a thing for men of the cloth…but Saints too?' Rin thinks while staring up at Jeanne.

You just have good taste in this case, for a saint her ass is quite sinfull~

Davos said:
'…Am I being cucked by a beautiful bastard?' Kazuma thinks while watching with no shame at the two women before his Servant version stands by him and grabs his shoulder.

I don't think you will be left out

Davos said:
"Go on ahead with Rin…I'll deal with her!" Servant Kazuma says with a smile and glint in his eye.

"…You expect me of all people to believe you're doing this for altruistic reasons?"

"You think you can deal with an amorous Servant who can take on 14 other Servants?"

A fair point

Davos said:
"You think I'm against a ménage a trios?~" Jeanne asks, shutting them all up.

'There was no liquor involved, how did this happen?' Rin thinks in shock while being pulled along by Jeanne back to the Gardens with the two smiling Kazuma following.

A kinky blonde and her sinfull body~~
Just your type

Davos said:
She catches herself smiling too a moment later.

'…I'll just call it the start of a vacation~.'

A long needed one

alextheconqueror · Wednesday at 1:48 AM

Davos said:
Don't know much off hand about them...Is it as bad as the Medusa stuff in the vn?

The fae in Type Moon is more lore accurate to their myths than the disney representation

Davos · Wednesday at 5:46 PM

alextheconqueror said:
Don't worry about it, irl comes first

The callback she will recieve when she goes to south america will be glorious. at least Gudao will enjoy seeing the dinosaurs

Funny thing that is also true for the Lostbelt

I doubt he had faith to begin with, he said he was agnostic from what I recall

Aww, she is still a faithfulll girl, guess you can't take that from Jeanne

Wonder how Vlad would react to that lol

Neither do I, surprised she didn't started before

Darkness is enjoying life

Damm, Darkness may be in love at this point

This is like watching a trainwreck, I can't stop watching

This is both wholesome and horny, and I quite like it

The way they are gonna react when this is all over

Nah, hell isn't actually that bad, you just were signed up to defend the afterlife without consent

Should had expected that Mordred, just pray that Kazuma doesn't know about this

I think they went for more than just one round

You are overstimating people brainpower, at most they will think that someone is copying Shakespeare, and even have the audacity to say it's a bad copy of his writting style lol

Yep, just another tuesday

Be happy that she considers you as a safe place

Guess the Chaldea protection squad is dealing with that

For all the things to be indignant, classic Darkness

Not even surprised, Magus can be kinky, did you know that Rin's and Sakura's mother come from a family especifically designed to breed magus? They are made to be wifes XD

Don't say that Fran, there's always being a trouple... I may not be helping

Oh god it just get worse

And you called Fergus a freak lol

I don't think that helped

Oh, she fell for the explosion fever

There is always a debacle, even your free time is a debacle

Hah, what a comeback

Worst part is he doesn't even knew lol
And if she told him about it he wouldn't even do it

And the enlightement came

Typical Kazuma pettyness

This was such a bro move

Goddamit Medea, well time to see how this blows in her face

Ad this is the moment where her girlfailure aura activates

Huh, surprised he didn't did that before

Is a requirement to be a Saber to have bad history with BDSM?

Oh, this one actually sounds pretty bad

He saw Artoria, I can bet for it

I'm still surprised about that part, specially with the usual procedure to deal with those timelines that don't follow a point fixed in time is to just erase it

Low blow Eris

Girl, you aren't even being subtle

Whoooohoooo, I was waiting for this

Surprised it took you this long to put two and two together

You just have good taste in this case, for a saint her ass is quite sinfull~

A kinky blonde and her sinfull body~~
Just your type

I know, but I know waiting still sucks...

Something similar happened in that lostbelt?

I did not know that...Thought raptors would be the jerk?

True, but if Kazuma was a God, wouldn't that put some people off faith?

Probably not. At least not without fully going the Jalter route

He might like it.

Not enough in the budget for the liquor required

Indeed.

Indeed, but not for long...

This wreck was a joy to think about.

Glad to hear

Hangover on the same day

True, but context and a briefing would help.

To be fair, she was busy with other things.

Wouldn't anyone?

I would argue that, but I know The Tramp actor went into a contest for his character...and lost.

Not Wednesday with all the humping?

He will be.

They will need hazard pay.

Wouldn't be Darkness without a rant about things being too moral

I did not...Surprised that isn't bought up more in canon or has an entire fic about that

Fran will come around.

***Better

Just because someone is a freak, doesn't make others less freaky

It did not, but she means well.

Servants love Explosions

Nobu flashbacks intensify

Yay

I don't know about that. Maybe if he was annoyed a fair bit more

Indeed.

I mean the thing has a bit of gold in it.

Indeed

Tbf, she is helping Atalanta.

Bound to happen at some point.

If he did that eariler, he would be sent to the front more often

That or bad romance

It is

Or Vlad...or zombies...or Jeanne.

Might be a mistake on my end.

She's just looking out for fellow Greeks and preventing an Alaya solution.

Subtle is not a word for this whole fic I think

Same.

Tbf, I don't think they seen her pervy side yet

Ass, chest, handlebar for hair. Harder to find a non sinful part.

Isn't that everyone's type?

alextheconqueror · Wednesday at 6:27 PM

Davos said:
I know, but I know waiting still sucks...

That's true but I for my part am willing to wait

Davos said:
Something similar happened in that lostbelt?

Yep, we became friends with many types of dinosaurs

Davos said:
I did not know that...Thought raptors would be the jerk?

Funny thing they were bros, our ride or die in that Lostbelt, when we were in problem their first answer was "What are we doing to deal with that? What? Of course we are helping why wouldn't we?"

Davos said:
True, but if Kazuma was a God, wouldn't that put some people off faith?

Depends of the people, I see him as a Loki like deity

Davos said:
Probably not. At least not without fully going the Jalter route

And that wasn't even using the real Jeanne so, yeah

Davos said:
He might like it.

He would make her a student in the art of impaling people

Davos said:
Not enough in the budget for the liquor required

Yeah, the onis take all of it anyways

Davos said:
Indeed.

This may have been the happiest moment in her life lol

Davos said:
Indeed, but not for long...

Sadly it wasn't made to last

Davos said:
This wreck was a joy to think about.

I can see it

Davos said:
Hangover on the same day

Ooooh, I know how that is

Davos said:
True, but context and a briefing would help.

She now knows how Kazuma felt like

Davos said:
To be fair, she was busy with other things.

True, but Fergus would still recieve some punishment

Davos said:
Wouldn't anyone?

Definitely, be it Musashi or Kojiro I would have enough in my tank to last

Davos said:
I would argue that, but I know The Tramp actor went into a contest for his character...and lost.

Yeah.... There's also Henry Cavill going through NY with a Superman shirt, near a superman promo when he was the Superman of the Snyderverse and nobody noticed him

Davos said:
Not Wednesday with all the humping?

Fair enough

Davos said:
He will be.

Wich I respect

Davos said:
They will need hazard pay.

That's why we have the Valor crew AKA the mental attack resistance squad or too Mentally ill to be affected squad

Davos said:
Wouldn't be Darkness without a rant about things being too moral

So true

Davos said:
I did not...Surprised that isn't bought up more in canon or has an entire fic about that

There is a writer that loves to use it as an excuse for hentai shenanigans

Davos said:
Fran will come around.

Nice

Davos said:
***Better

Ha! True enough

Davos said:
Just because someone is a freak, doesn't make others less freaky

Those are wisdom words if I have heard some

Davos said:
It did not, but she means well.

Yeah, it means something

Davos said:
Servants love Explosions

Can confirm *Think of all the NPs that explode*

Davos said:
Nobu flashbacks intensify

*GUDA GUDA INTENSIFIES*

Davos said:
Yay

Yay!

Davos said:
I don't know about that. Maybe if he was annoyed a fair bit more

Fair enough, but only because she is going to her base, Kazuma may be scummy but he has morals, there aren't much but they are morals

Davos said:
I mean the thing has a bit of gold in it.

Fair lol

Davos said:
Tbf, she is helping Atalanta.

At the expense of Achilles, but that's just her bias acting lol

Davos said:
Bound to happen at some point.

It's in her nature

Davos said:
If he did that eariler, he would be sent to the front more often

That's true

Davos said:
That or bad romance

I can see it

Davos said:
It is

Everything involving children that makes you cry like that is bad

Davos said:
Or Vlad...or zombies...or Jeanne.

Or all of em

Davos said:
Might be a mistake on my end.

I actually kinda like it just my suspension of disbelief acting against my nerd brain

Davos said:
She's just looking out for fellow Greeks and preventing an Alaya solution.

Nobody wants an Alaya solution

Davos said:
Subtle is not a word for this whole fic I think

That's true, that's very true lol

Davos said:
Same.

My man!

Davos said:
Tbf, I don't think they seen her pervy side yet

Key point being yet

Davos said:
Ass, chest, handlebar for hair. Harder to find a non sinful part.

And she call herself saint

Davos said:
Isn't that everyone's type?

Everyone with taste

Davos · 2026-04-06T21:01:05+0100

"…Is it safe to look?" Eris asks through the rip, her eyes covered by her hands.

"No, we are planning to commit debauchery while reading Bible verse in a few minutes. We're already dressed up in tights and sold out, but I suppose you can watch too…Or does the voyeur deity want to do more than watch? If so she'll have to say please~."

Eris takes a moment to uncover her eyes to look at a smiling Jeanne, stunned at her dual colored hair of yellow with light gray edging now. Kazuma pulls on her ear.

"Don't tease Eris.'

"You're right…what will Rin think?" Jeanne asks, making Rin cough into her fist with a blush.

"…I'm glad you enjoyed this vacation. Things may be a bit…hectic at first back in Axel." Eris says before beginning the teleport.

"…What did my party do?"

"Not them this time surprisingly…It was the Servants."

"Oh no…" Jeanne says with lightless eyes.

"Nothing bad though!"

"I don't believe you!"

"Lancelot, MHX, and Artoria aren't there."

"…At least the most insane ones are not there…" Jeanne says with a shudder.

A moment later they appear in front of Kazuma's place.

"I was worried there would not be enough room." Jeanne says.

"Space isn't the issue…though there are others." Rin says before they knock on the door. A tall white haired woman in a green dress opens the door.

"Oh, you're finally back. Shame. But you can at least help with them." She says.

"Can I at least set foot in my place before being mocked Sella?"

"No, and I'm not Sella." She says, making Kazuma tilt his head. He and Rin grow wide eyed at reaching the same answer.

"Wait…Illya?!" Rin asks

"Indeed~." Illya says with crossed arms and a shit eater grin.

"You were never this tall! How did that happen?"

"I haven't figured out the exact mechanisms, but between Eris' help and the mana in this world, I underwent a growth spurt. Not even a month and I'm as tall as my maids now! Did I mention you are perfect for looking down on, Tohsaka?" Illya says with a smile and a small giddy laugh as Rin clenches a fist.

Megumin passes by with a frown.

'…She must be incredibly annoyed by that…' Kazuma thinks.

"Did a similar thing happen to Sella and Leysritt?"

"Not…quite…but yes." Illya says with a side long glance.

The 4 enter and soon see Aqua at the dining room table, slowly stabbing a fork into some meat, before pulling it out again and stabbing it again with red cheeks and vacant eyes.

"…What happened to her?"

"Someone named Fergus got to her I believe? She wouldn't give any details." Illya says, making Kazuma frown and Rin blanch. Looking over he sees Sella in the kitchen, cleaning a few dishes.

"Good afternoon. I am about finished here, is there anything you n-ah!" She starts to ask before bumping her head on the doorway.

"We're good…though did you get taller?"

"Yes…I thought it would be a boon, but I bump into doorways if I walk without thought…Leysritt doesn't have this issue, fortunate wretch that she is…" Sella says.

"Where is Leysritt?" Kazuma asks before a light groan is heard a floor above.

"Oh, Cu is back…Wonderful." Rin mutters.

"That's not the Hound…" Sella says as another warbling moan is heard.

"…Darkness did get a taste for women…Though I thought Leysritt wasn't that into women aside from you?" Kazuma asks, making Sella's brow twitch.

"…You misunderstand." Sella says as rapid footsteps approach. Leysritt runs into the room, a gag in her mouth, her wrists cuffed, and 2 buttons on her shirt missing.

"Helpf me!" Leysritt shouts in fearful monotone before a lasso encircles her waist.

"I didn't say we were done yet, toy~." Darkness says before pulling Leysritt back.

"Oh my God…You became a dom?!"

"Oh, greetings Kazuma! It's not quite that simple. After that disappointment with lady Fiore, I thought about it and came to a simple, rapturous solution."

"What part of this is simple?" Rin asks with pale cheeks.

"If so few can adequately abuse me, than I shall abuse people until I am overpowered! The thought is amazing! Just imagine! While whipping and mocking someone, an act already proving quite fun, they grab the whip, pull it from my hand and use it against me! It will be the ultimate day dream made real! To have all control and than lose it is the ultimate dream of Crusaders! Why have I never thought of this sooner!?" Darkness says with a bit of drool out the corner of her mouth.

"She'f crafy!" Leysritt shouts, muffled from a gag as she is pulled back upstairs.

"…Isn't Leysritt strong? B rank Servant and all that?" Jeanne asks.

"Darkness is stronger apparently…I think she might be looking at me and Leysritt now…Good thing we can almost buy a house now…Though I am unsure there is a lock strong enough for Darkness…or a door." Illya says with a shiver as more moans and whipping is heard up stairs.

"…Did Leysritt…grow?"

"Yes, she got even curvier…" Sella says with a clenched fist.

"Wait, you can almost buy a place now?"

"Yes, though it won't be just us 3. Mordred and an unsavory, yet oddly nice man named Kairi will be staying with us too. Atalanta and Achilles also contributed some Eris as well despite seeking their own place further away."

"You all got jobs?"

"Yes. Well, not Atalanta officially, but she is getting by as a huntress and beloved figure in the city…she's basically a celebrity at the moment." Sella says.

"She never struck me as that outgoing. How did she become a-"

"I'm back with dinner!" Atalanta says from the door before a bump is heard followed by a muttering. Atalanta enters the room, only slightly shorter than Sella, a bag in her hand, and wearing a robe. Achilles is beside her and carrying a bag as well.

"Oh you bunch are back."

"You got a growth spurt too? Is that why you became beloved?" Kazuma asks.

"No, but it probably lead to more fans after what I did…And 'that'…"

"What happened?"

===A few days ago===

A butcher smiles his practiced expression when the green haired woman enters.

"Hello ma'am, how can I help you this fine day? Is there a particular cut or meat you are looking for?"

"I could use some help, but I would like to barter first."

"Of course, what are you interested in? I have some fresh toad meat, bought in not even an hour ago!"

"Toad…meat? Ah, apologies, I am new. I would like to sell something and learn a bit more about the wildlife in this area. I am from…far away. My name is Atalanta."

"Of course. What do you have to sell ma'am?"

'Excellent, I could easily overcharge her for a spell~.' The butcher thinks before heading outside and paling at the carcass on the cart. Though he has never seen one himself, he knew from the hushed whispers and forlorn faces of adventurers in this city of beginning adventurers that met one what creature lies on this strange foreign woman's cart. The fur color, the fangs…

It is a Rookie Killer.

"Dear Gods…" the butcher mutters, and the woman pales.

"Oh no…is this an endangered creature?"

"I don't think this thing would be endangered Big sis." The green haired man leaning against the cart says.

"…You should go to the adventurer's guild first. They'll pay you more than what I can for this. Gods bless you both for killing this thing."

"I can't take any credit. I just hauled the cart; she killed this on her own." Achilles says, further shocking the butcher.

They eventually go to the guild, and after a minute of shocked silence, hold a party for Atalanta, placing an artists rendition of her with the dead monster, giving her a hefty payment, and begun plans for a statue in her honor.

"I appreciate the warmth, but d-don't you think is a bit much?" Atalanta asks while having a stein of bubbly pressed into her hands and a dish of meat and veggies presented before her.

"How humble of you! But you really don't know anything about this monster?" A blonde receptionist asks.

"None…I saw it tailing a group of people before it turned onto me. It wasn't so much a hunt as self defense."

"Amazing…Have you considered becoming an adventurer? I am certain you can swiftly move onto to mid or high rank quests!"

"I had my fill of adventures already…are these creatures really that bad?" Atlanta asks.

"Yes, the ones in this area primarily hunt people, mainly adventurers. Though there have been reports of them stalking citizens and children who play just outside the walls and-"

"Did you say they hunt children?" Atalanta asks with needle point eyes.

'…Guess I know what we're doing the rest of the week.' Achilles thinks before taking a sip.

===

"It only took 3 days between us to scare or kill off the other Rookie Killers." Atalanta says.

"But they we're gone for a week…~." Illya says with a grin.

"What were you doing for 4-oh." Rin trails off, before looking down and seeing a ring on their fingers. Atalanta glances away before heading to the kitchen to unpack the meat.

"At least they had enough self control not to do that here…" Illya says with an involuntary shudder.

'…Talk about a whirlwind romance…' Jeanne thinks.

'PFFT hahaha! Are you seriously- Gahahaha! Did you forget the last few days?! Hehehe!'

'…Your point is made…So stop laughing.'

'I don't know if I can! Is it possible for me to die from laughter in this state?'

"…They started calling me the 'Goddess of The Hunt, Rookies, and Children'…" Atalanta says from the other room with a sidelong look.

"That…doesn't sound so bad. Sure, you strike me as more as someone that prefers to keeps to themselves, but-".

"It felt kind of sacrilegious to Artemis, but I figured since it's a different world, I will not hold that against them…But I am rather irate after I chanced upon a certain degenerate establishment calling itself a café." Atalanta says with down turned ears, making Kazuma groan.

"You won't believe what they do in that establishment!"

"Lot of people paid for lewd dreams of you?"

"The people pay for lurid dreams of- huh?" Atalanta stares at Kazuma. Achilles also looks flatly at him.

"…I suppose it makes sense you know more about this city than us."

"…I'm not sure how I feel about succubi inhabiting this city…" Jeanne mutters while running a finger along the cross around her neck.

"They're actually pretty relaxed, and I don't purchase the dreams there."

"Not since I traumatized the succubus that one night." Aqua says while still stabbing the now cold meat.

"…We can't leave this city soon enough…" Atalanta says.

'Wonder if I can get a Sieg dream here?' Leticia thinks.

'Why a dream when he is also here?'

'I…don't think I can keep up with him now after that harlot's corruption of him…'

'You can learn. Besides, he didn't seem that opposed to this situation after the photo shoots that one day~.' Jeanne thinks with a smile.

'You don't understand, I wanted to teach, cuddle, and corrupt him!'

'Oh no, he's experienced and good, the horror…~'

====

"Did you grow again?" Chris asks while looking up at Jack, the cloak now hanging barely above her knees.

"Yes big sis Chris."

"Please don't call me that…People will think we are related between our hair color and scarred cheeks."

"It's not our fault the mana in this world lead to a growth spurt! Do you have any idea how hard it is to sneak with this growth spurt? It is getting quite annoying maintaining our balance with these!" Jack says, making Chris look flatly.

'Oh, the horror, to be curvy…Least she is taking it better than Mordred.' Chris thinks before a hand clasps her shoulder. A teary woman looks at her.

"To make sure your little sister grew up healthy and strong while you stunted yourself…truly an inspiration!"

"…Thank you…" Chris says with a sullen expression.

===

"…I still can't believe you're undead." Kairi says.

"Not too loud please…It'll lead to trouble." Wiz says.

"Sorry, just…still amazed. Between that and the cursed stuff in this store, I feel like I am still playing catch up."

"Oh most of these items are not cursed, just horribly made!" Vanir says with a smile.

"That explains why you were so willing to have me set up shop in this corner…" Medea says doing the final stitches on a dress.

"We so desperately need money." Vanir says.

"Vanir, I know that's the case but-"

The door opens.

"Welcome, how can I help- oh Hey Mordred." Kairi says.

"Is that anyway to talk to a customer?"

"You're not a customer, you're broke."

"That's only temporary, and a side issue!"

"Is it the clothes not fitting from your growth spurt?" Medea asks with an even tone.

"No, I haven't grown nearly as much as the homunculi, though they are a bit too snug, but I rather that than whatever you would make for me…the real issue is mirrors…" Mordred says as Medea glowers.

"Mirrors? Oh is it because you now more closely resemble Mo-" Kairi stops when Mordred pulls out her sword.

"Heh, still so sore about your parents, are we? Between that and your gruff manner, I can see why the adventurer's guild and guards are wary of employing you. In fact, I heard you're on their persons of interest list now like a rotten blue Goddess~." Vanir says with a grin, that grows wider when Mordred now points her sword at him.

"P-please, no fighting in the store!" Wiz says.

"Let's take this outside demon~."

"No~." Vanir says with a hand at his mask as he smiles.

"Why not?!"

"Because, young lady-" Vanir says before grabbing the blade swung for his head with ease.

"You enjoy battle, almost as much as the horrible crusader enjoys pain. I will have no place in fueling your joy. Come back when you are feeling anguished, then we can consider-" Vanir groans when Mordred kicks him below the belt. A smile on her face as Vanir gargles in pain. But when she goes to pull the blade back, she finds his grip is still strong.

Then he begins laughing and stands straight up, still holding the blade.

"Did you forget this body is made of earth? I have no crotch for you to mercilessly kick like your mother!"

"Then why did you groan?!"

"To give you a false sense of joy that came crashing down with the revelation reminder! It is rather nice~."

"Then I'll just grind you to dust!"

Vanir laughs, as other grimace.

===

"You're telling me this bell can detect lies?" Karna asks the neatly dressed woman in glasses.

"Yes. I am surprised you have not heard of it. You must truly be from a far away land."

"Indeed I am prosecutor…but this device troubles me."

"Why is that?"

"If such a device is real, and there is still falsehoods and crimes in this world…how can anyone not be saddened Miss Sena?"

"Prosecutor please…" Sena says with an eye twitch before taking a breath.

"That said, your curious ability appears to be real. I never met anyone with such accuracy in discerning lies. I would like to offer you employment as a prosecutor. These bells are few and extraordinarily difficult to create. Having someone like yourself would be an invaluable boon in our efforts."

"A tempting offer, but I have reservations about interfering with the happenings of this land too much…That, and I am unsure when I could start. I am to attend a wedding as the best man later this month."

"The offer will sill be here after that happy day."

===

"So…is there still enough room for everyone?" Reika asks at the dinner table.

"I'm surprised you're here."

"Already went half way around the world with Jack, what's another world?…least the scenery is better." She says as the door opens with a bout of laughter. Kairi, Medea, a scowling Mordred, and the source of the uproarious laughing, Vanir.

"Hey Vanir. Why are you here?" Kazuma asks.

"I am merely escorting a young lady home~." Vanir says, dodging an irate slash that leaves a mark in the wall.

"…Guess Darkness will have to talk to you now." Aqua says, making Mordred pale, and Vanir giggle a moment before looking at both Kazuma.

"Why are there-"

"Servant Kazuma." Medea says.

"…He truly became a heroic spirit?"

"…I'm surprised you didn't grow that much Medi."

"As am I, but I cannot complain…goodness knows enough deviants look at me in my current state." Medea says as the door open again, this time with Jack, Shakespeare, and an absurdly handsome blonde man in a familiar outfit.

"Whoa- I mean… who are you?" Rin asks with a stare that makes Kazuma glance at her.

"I am not surprised you do not recognize me. I barely recognized myself when I first took off the helm." He says before raising a hand creating a small creature of mud. It looks around, locks eyes with Chomusuke, and runs after her, making her run away with a whine.

"Wait, Avicebron?! But you were noted to have lupus!"

"This world has healed that affliction! Now when I take my mask off, I get discounts!" He says before putting the mask back on.

"I still like wearing the mask."

"That's fantastic to hear!" Jeanne says.

"Yeah, glad to hear…though I am curious what do you three do? I heard what the others are doing." Rin asks.

"I am jobless!" Shakespeare says.

"As am I!" Avicebron says.

"We three!" Jack says.

"Weren't you working at a bakery today?" Reika asks.

"We we're fired for snacking."

"Jack."

"We punched a guy that reached for us."

"Oh, that's fine then. To Hell with that bakery!"

"What happened to watching your language?" Servant Kazuma asks.

"I'm sure it's her current state affecting her." Vanir says.

"What do you mean my current state?" Reika asks before sipping tea.

"You're pregnant." Vanir says, and Reika chokes on her tea.

"That's…not funny." Reika coughs out

"I am not joking. My kind celebrates the conception and birth of humans. Even now I can feel the myriad of emotions from your belly." Vanir says and Aqua walks over and places a hand on Reika's head. A moment later she gasps.

"You are pregnant!"

"But how?!" I always use- wait…" Reika trails off before looking at Sieg.

"But I used a morning after pill…"

"Maybe it's Siegfried's heart?" Sieg asks.

"How would that- wait…his heart?"

"Gave it to me, made me healthier…maybe it did the same for my uh…fluids…" Sieg says.

"We get to be a big sister?!" Jack asks with a smile.

'I am really glad we didn't go to far that one night now…' Rin thinks with pale cheeks before looking over and seeing a despondent Jeanne with a tear down her cheek leave the room.

'Did you just hijack the body again Leticia?!' Jeanne asks in their head, now back in spirit form.

Leticia ignores her and goes to the room to wallow.

"…I thought you would have that book published?" Kazuma asks, making Shakespeare scowl.

"The publishers of this world have less taste than swine! They call my latest work based on the grail war drivel! Pure, salacious, ridiculous drivel! I would have made the cretin cry for such disrespect, but the guards we're watching me…!" Shakespeare says with a clenched fist.

"You're on their list?!" Kazuma asks.

"We all are!" Jack, Shakespeare, and Avicebron say at the same time.

'I see what Eris meant by hectic…' They all think at the same time.

Both Kazuma leave with Avalon in hand.

'I have a nagging fear we will lose it overnight, so better to sell it now.'

===

The next morning, Shakespeare, Avicebron, and Megumin are in a clearing in the woods.

"Why do you have me here?"

"I thought a day in nature could help you temper your approach in publication."

"Time outside does sound good right now…and I am sure you're experiment will be interesting."

"I fear you may be disappointed. Most of my first few creations are slow and fall apart as I try to get used to the materials of a new area." Avicebron says as he begins.

"You're last one was pretty close. I'm sure you'll do fine!"

"Thank you Master."

"Just call me Megumin, the war is over."

"…Have you reconsidered my idea?"

"No. You are not creating golems and putting them in dungeons for us to clear as an easy repeatable quest." She says as a figure of earth rises. It is humanoid with blue stones for eyes, a bunch of smaller black stones along it's back to act as a spine.

"But it is steady income, and would erase your debts."

"There is no thrill in using Explosion on easy opponents!" Megumin says, making Avicebron gasp.

The golem meanwhile takes a few slow steps before beginning to walk at a normal pace.

"It's alive." Avicebron says matter of fact.

"I recall you being more ecstatic about the one with me."

"That was my life's work. This is merely a test-"

A groan of earthly dread rings out from its mouth as it begins running away before leaping into the air, now flying away.

"What in the-" Shakespeare starts before flinching along with Megumin at the shout of pure energy from Avicebron.

"This is beyond all expectations! This never happened before! It literally underwent dozens refinements to gain flight without changing its shape! And from fear! No, this isn't fear! This is pure, primal terror, an adrenaline fueled evolution that is beyond what even the divine can do! What cosmological horror lies behind this tree!?" Avicebron shouts while going to the tree the golem was at.

What he sees surprises him.

A teary eyed girl with red eyes and a slightly skimpy outfit.

She runs away while crying loudly.

"…Was that your sister Komekko?" Avicebron asks.

"No, that was Yunyun…"

===

A knock is heard at the door and Achilles opens it.

He slams it shut, runs into the living room, picks up Atalanta, and runs to the back yard.

"Hey, what are you-" Atalanta starts to ask before he whispers one word into her ear.

She stops resisting and happily hops onto his chariot when he summons it.

The knocking resumes, louder now.

Kazuma and Rin, who saw this, hesitate at answering the door.

Kazuma stands up and approaches the door.

He opens it and freezes, cheeks pale as he groans in his mouth.

Artoria almost grins at his reaction.

"Hello scumbag, I-"

He slams it shut, and a punch of a knock is heard.

"This is bad…"

"…Who is it?"

"Will you open this door? I refuse to communicate like this!" Artoria shouts as Kazuma begins locking all the locks.

"Why the Hell are you here?!"

"I am here for a reason, so open the door! If I wanted to kill you, I would just blow the house away!" Artoria shouts.

"So you want to stab me again?! No way! Bite me!"

"If you insist~." Artoria says with a grin.

"You little- Just leave! We have plenty of firepower to destroy you check!" Kazuma shouts before turning to Rin.

"Where are the Servants?" He whispers

"Medea is at her job, Jack is with Chris, Shakespeare, Megumin, and Avicebron are in the woods, Karna is exploring the city, and the two Greeks just left." Rin whispers back

"What about Jeanne and Servant me?"

"…They're with each other…" Rin mutters, and Kazuma pales further as another punch lands on the door, making it warble.

'At least it can't get worse…I can just bluff there is someone here.'

"I heard how your 'firepower' is elsewhere~." Artoria says with a lilt.

'God damn it.'

"And as much as I relish the thought of killing you for everything, that is not why I am here."

"Guards! Guards! Help! There is a crazy person here!"

"Listen to me you jackass! I know we hate each other's guts, but the only reason I am here is to recover my scabbard Avalon. After I get that, I will leave this place and never return!"

Kazuma and Rin both groan.

Artoria hears this and rubs a temple.

"…What did you do with my sheath?"

"We don't have it."

"Liar! Alaya told me you took it after that debacle in Romania!"

"And you believe her!?" Kazuma shouts, despite the sweat down his neck.

"Of course not! But she showed a spectral footage of you taking it, Eris admitted to you taking it after light questioning, and most importantly, I know you would take it out of spite!"

"…We really don't have it." Rin says.

"Why are you repeating that? It's not like there is any benefit to you having it since you would not be able to- Oh dear God…" Artoria mutters with vacant eyes.

"…You degenerates sold it…You sold a Noble Phantasm?!" Artoria shouts while kicking the door.

A moment of silence passes and Artoria kicks the door again, harder, and snapping the hinges off, sword clutched tightly in hand.

"I will-"

"Leave, and never return…dear." Darkness says from the doorway, making Artoria freeze before stepping back.

"Y-you again…why are you-"

"I live here, and you just ruined a perfectly good door…It seems like the king needs a reminder of decorum."

"Degenerate knave! I am not afraid of-" Artoria stops when she snaps a whip while licking her lips.

"…Where did you sell it?" Artoria asks while walking backwards away.

Kazuma gives her directions to the store.

Artoria leaves, keeping Darkness in sight for a few more steps.

"…Thank you Darkness."

"You can thank me by taking on a quest…a dangerous one."

"…Sure." Kazuma says, making Rin and Darkness look at him.

"You never agree so quickly…"

"I could use something more relaxing after this meeting…I'm sure it'll be better in a day…speaking of relaxing…~" Kazuma says when he sees Jeanne and his other half self approach.

===

The evening of that day, a knock is heard at the door. Kazuma and Rin pale.

Servant Kazuma grimaces.

Jeanne cracks a knuckle and smiles as she approaches the door.

"Prepare to meet the Lord…he'll like seeing- Oh…you're not Artoria." She says.

"She's here too? I thought she wasn't being sent over here?" Cu asks as Fergus sighs next to him.

"She was here earlier today…what is with him?"

"He got the debriefing from Eris and has been depressed…I'm kinda hoping a change of scenery will cheer him up." Cu says as Aqua slinks away, blushing and shivering at the same time.

"Why do you think he's welcome here? Besides, I doubt he did anything that would make him sad."

"…You didn't get the briefing?"

"I'm sure that airhead forgot to tell us. I doubt it's anything that important…or is it?" Kazuma asks, dread starting to rise now.

"…Because of Fergus, Romania' population will basically double within the year." Cu starts.

"But…that is a good thing?" Jeanne asks with a head tilt.

"This will send the country into poverty, partly from the increased numbers, but also the exact circumstances…lot of cheating and incest. Romania kept the medieval look out of choice, now it will be that way for a generation but with less food and opportunities." Cu says, making Fergus slump more forward as everyone pales at these words.

Atalanta also beings slinking away.

"Though I'm surprised no one told you about your end of things."

"We didn't do anything though." Rin says.

"The Gardens are still there, as well as a dinosaur's body, which is pulling in a lot of researchers." Cu says, making both Kazuma's frown.

"That's…not bad."

"It's completely screwing with the archeological record, not to mention the sheer confusion at finding a freshly dead dino with sword wounds all over it's insides."

"…Least they didn't find Avalon."

"There's also talk of subjugating Romania and putting it under new rule after the sudden flooding,-" Cu says, making Rin pale.

"The destruction of a historical church also is drawing the eye of the church," Cu continues, making Rin glance to the side.

"And that is before the sudden…influx of homunculi into the population, making the law very difficult to maintain…" Cu says, making Sieg look on with an open mouth.

"…Anything else?"

"There was the destruction of the moon."

"We didn't cause that last one!" Rin shouts.

"…I thought you were reasonable, but you cause just as much damage as us." Megumin says, drawing a twitching eye glare from Rin.

"So why is he here?"

"Alaya wants him back in the Heavens." Cu says, making everyone stare in shock.

"So Eris sent him here, where Alaya's influence is weak so more situations like that won't occur…on that note, I have a favor to ask" Cu says.

"Sure, but no messing with anyone here…especially Aqua."

"She's here~?" Fergus asks with a glint on his eyelid, before his smile fades.

"No…I should refrain from such acts…My sword is not a tool of happiness, but of ruin after all…" Fergus says, making everyone, especially Rin, look on in shock.

===

Later that night there was a horribly loud noise.

The group grimace in their bed, some thinking they hear mad laughter carried on the wind.

===

The next day after a relaxing night, Kazuma and his party, along with Rin, Jeanne, and Servant Kazuma enter the guild. Luna waves them over.

"I…have a special quest for you."

"…What is it?"

"…It'll be faster if we go to the next room." Luna says.

They head upstairs and find a certain blonde knight with two nervous looking guards standing on each side.

"We refuse." Both Kazuma, Jeanne, and Rin say at the same time.

"I'm afraid your refusal is denied." Luna says with a pained smile.

"Unless it is to kill her, we refuse." Kazuma says, making Artoria draw her blade and send the two guards into sweats.

"She needs a party to complete some quests!" Luna says hurriedly.

"I do not need a group, least of all these degenerate miscreants." Artoria says while maintaining a glare.

"And we don't need you! Why the Hell are you still here anyway?!" Rin asks.

"My sheath. I found it in the store but…" Artoria trails off and clenches a fist.

"An argument broke out last night between Miss-"

"Sir." Artoria says quickly.

"…Sir Artoria and the shopkeeper…negotiations failed and she blew up the owner's store." Luna says.

"I'm not surprised. She threatened to blow up my manor last night." Kazuma says, drawing chuckle from Artoria.

"You call that small place a manor? Though I shouldn't be surprised, you have a penchant for giving grand names to the insignificant." Artoria says while placing Excalibur point first in front of her, making a vein appear Kazuma's head.

"I didn't call it that, that was uh…"

"That was me! I dubbed it Excalibur out of spite for a completely different reason!" Megumin says with a smile.

Artoria frowns and looks in sheer disgust at Kazuma.

"…I never expected you to go for children…"

Megumin raises her staff and Rin grabs it.

"Though she is similar to that harlot."

Rin let's the staff go.

Darkness grabs the staff this time.

"P-please, calm down! I understand there is history here and the break up was rough-" Luna says, making a vein appear on Artoria's head as she stares in open mouthed rage.

"-But no one else will join up with her after the incident last night!"

"I'm not surprised…" Darkness says.

"That cad tried to liquefy my sheath right in front of me when I refused to pay his absurd price tag for what was stolen from me! And then, when he failed to even heat the material, he called me a little girl playing at being a knight!"

"…What did he try to charge you?" Kazuma asks.

"A million…Eris I believe was the term?"

"What the Hell?" Kazuma mutters, and Artoria grins.

"Did you only receive a fraction of that sum?"

"200,000…Didn't even pay off all the debt…I am never going to that bastard again."

"At least there is a silver lining in you being scammed~." Artoria says with a smile.

"…How much does she need before she can piss off?"

"We rounded down the cost of the sheath to 500,000, but with the destruction last night, various laws broken, and medical bills for the guards-"

"I gave them fair warning and after the second one it's their fault!" Artoria mutters as Luna continues.

"She has…10 million in debt."

"Pfft, That's hardly anything. She can sleep in a stable and work it off easy." Kazuma says while heading for the door.

"We want her out too…So much so, that every Eris she pays off, we'll pay you 2." Luna says and Kazuma stops with his hand on the door.

Jeanne grabs his shoulder.

"…You cannot seriously be considering this…It's her of all people!"

"We still have some debt left…besides, you don't like the idea of being treated to money she makes while she lives in poverty?"

"…You really are a bad influence~." Jeanne says with a grin.

"Make it 5!" Kazuma says.

"That-!....Fine…" Luna says in a slump.

===

"The quest is to…kill toads?" Artoria asks.

"Yep." Kazuma says, and Artoria raises an eyebrow at seeing Megumin and Aqua shudder, and Darkness smile. Rin and Jeanne are also confused at their reactions.

"There should be some over this way, it's a popular resting spot for them." Kazuma says and a moment later they see the giant toads.

"They're…huge…" Rin says.

"They did say giant toads."

"I didn't think they would be that huge…"

"It did say they caused missing goats."

"I thought it was from disease not from…my God, they could eat a person!" Rin says with a warble.

Artoria walks forward blade in hand.

'…Least they aren't rabbits…or birds…But to be on the safe side from craziness in this world…' She thinks before raising her blade.

"Ex…calibur!" She yells and in a bright wave of light, disintegrates the dozen or so toads in the field.

"I figured she wouldn't be in trouble but still annoying to see. Least we can get a pay-" Kazuma stops when he sees Artoria fall forward onto the ground.

"…What is she doing?"

"Huh, guess that would happen…" Aqua says.

"What would happen?"

"She's a heroic spirit from Earth. Her powers and abilities are influenced by her fame, but in this world, she is unknown. This makes using certain abilities more difficult. Plus there is the whole thing with her sword drawing on the planet's energy, but since she is not on that planet, it is substituting that with her own energy. She's kinda like Megumin now!" Aqua says, paling when Kazuma, Rin, and Jeanne flash toothy smiles.

The smiles only widen when another toad emerges from the ground.

Artoria groans in true despair when she feels the tongue loop around her waist, and effortlessly pull her into the maw of the toad. She grabs onto the lips of the beast, weakly trying to pull herself away.

'First rabbits, then birds, and now toads!' She thinks with a tear in her eye as she feels her grip slip and daylight fades, now smothered in an uncomfortable warmth and stench, the laughter of the 4 audible despite the toad skin and distance.

===

"…Don't you think this is a little much?" Darkness asks as they walk back to Axel.

"No." Jeanne says without hesitation, smiling as Artoria walks faster ahead of them.

'…This is horrible…I cannot wait for this day to end and get my sheathe back.' She thinks before hearing Kazuma giggle.

"You were just thinking you would be done today, didn't you?" Kazuma says.

"I…I'm not?"

"That was a beginner quest, one they give rookies. You think you'll be making millions from that?"

"…There is no way this day can get worse…" Artoria says out loud as her step become more listless before stopping as she passes a gate. She looks at someone behind the wall and sighs.

"…Figures you show up now…"

"Whose over-"

"You have the timing of a true Saber…" Artoria says before a blade swings out and hits her, sending her flying, and becoming a twinkling start in the distance.

With a flourish and pose pointing to the sky, another crazy blonde appears, making Jeanne groan.

"With this, I have accomplished my mission!" Mysterious heroine X says before a rip appears next to her.

"Hitting Artoria wasn't your mission! You were supposed to bring her back or kill her!" Alaya says.

"She's weakened in this world, I doubt she'll survive the fall!"

"You jackass! We had her under control! We we're going to make millions off her!"

"Not on my watch! Even if she is a Saber of the most vile order, slavery is still illegal in the Servant verse!"

"This isn't the-"

"Hold on, I need to take my dose!" MHX says before taking out a pill container and popping two in her mouth.

"…What is that?"

"My anti Saber meds! With this and regular therapy, I won't return to the dark side!"

"How does that even work?"

"It uses magical sugar and enhances something called the self healing process!"

'…I won't tell her that's a placebo effect…' Rin thinks as Mordred steps around the corner carrying a baby crib.

"….Father!?" She says, and MHX turns around with pale cheeks.

"Oh no…the pills are defective! That's Mordred and she's pretty! I'm being tempted by the dark side again! Hurry, get me out of here, I need a fresh prescription before I give in and ask her to call me daddy!" MHX shouts with increasing volume and Alaya teleports her out.

Mordred is standing with a blank expression.

"…What the Hell?"

===

Elsewhere, Achilles and Atalanta are joined by other people as they load a cart.

"Alright, that should be everything and we got a fair bit of room."

"Not quite…" Atalanta says.

Jack comes back carrying a baby crib.

Then Sieg arrives with another baby crib.

Fergus shows up carrying 2.

Achilles, at first smiling mischievously at Atalanta now begins paling as more baby cribs show up.

He is starting to fear for his life as Atalanta smiles at seeing all 10 baby cribs in the moving cart.

Cu Chulainn pats him on the back.

"You're a braver man than most…"

"I'm not sure I'll survive…"

"How would you feel if I told you she wanted 40?"

"Ecstatic as Hell, but also certain I am going to die…and die happily."

"Least your kids will be the safest in this world. You got one Hell of a woman there, as well as a capable, if crazy God mother in Medea." Cu says before wishing him luck and leaving.

===

In Arcanletia, Shirou Emiya and Shirou Amakusa walk down the street, turning down another conversion attempt.

"…This might be one of the pushiest laces I ever visited." Emiya says.

"At least they didn't spit on you when you tried explaining you were part of another faith…Why are we here again?" Amakusa asks with a hand at his head.

"I'm still kind of figuring that out…I know from the briefing that we are supposed to go to somewhere associated with an axel, and stop a potential evil…though I am not sure why MHX went to another place, but after Romania, I am going to leave her alone about her Saber senses…"

"How did you get that from that unorganized presentation?"

"It's…a learning curve. Though why did you become a Counter Guardian?"

"To stab Darnic for eternity…and possibly see Semiramis again."

'Shame my younger self couldn't be more like him.' Emiya thinks with a grin.

"Speaking of Darnic…where is he?"

A few minutes later they find Darnic talking with an older man in a blue uniform and a young blonde nun, both looking at him while considering something.

"…You raise some interesting proposals, but why are you so keen on the extermination of demons? You did say you are from far away."

"Indeed, and though there is little in common from my homeland and these lands, the desire to root out evil is the same…because, though it had a different name and methodology, I too was a follower of Axis!"

The two in blue smile, as Emiya and Amakusa groan.

Amakusa raises a throwing a dagger and takes aim.

Emiya pulls out his bow.

===

Illya finds herself in a bad place.

Cu Chulainn is princess carrying her up stairs.

"W-wait you perverted perpetual motion machine!"

"What for? Are you hungry Sella?"

"I'm not Sella!"

"…You seem oddly emotional Leysritt. Is that a side effect of this world?"

"No, that is lady Illya you are carrying dear Hound." Sella says from the top of the stairs, Leysritt standing next to her.

Cu looks up in shocked silence before looking at Illya.

"Talk about a growth spurt…"

"First time I wish I was still short…"

"…Think of it as an opportunity~." Sella says, making Leysritt, Cu, and Illya look at her.

"W-what do you mean opportunity?"

"Well, back in Fuyuki, our lives were designed to be short so a number of topics were never touched on…but here we are set to live as long as a human so it is time to explore such options."

"Y-you cannot be suggesting…!"

"This is merely one such result of being a brat mistress…~" Sella says with a growing grin as Illya and Leysritt look on in shock.

Then Leysritt grins.

As does Cu.

"I can assure you, there is not a better person for this topic of the birds and bees~." Sella says as they head into a room.

===

Little later, the group returns home, now saddled with Artoria's debt and hearing the concussion practice upstairs.

Fergus is sitting at the dining room table with open eyes while counting on a rosary bead, now wearing a holy man's uniform.

"Lust…shall not drive my actions…" Fergus says, and Rin looks on with blank eyes as a bit of drool trails down the corner of her mouth. She shakes her head wipes saliva off.

"…Least tomorrow will be better." Kazuma says.

===

A few days later at breakfast a familiar rip appears.

"Good morning! I have a request for you!" Alaya says.

"Oh no, the voice of temptation is back…" Fergus says.

"I refuse." Kazuma says.

"That's was just me being polite. You have to accept!"

"And why do I have to accept?" Kazuma asks with crossed arms.

"Because if you don't this world is doomed! It's also your fault this one happened! And before you ask why I am not sending Counter Guardians…well, there is a bit of red tape that I already violated and can't again for some time, most of them are busy elsewhere, one it taking a mental wellness leave, and two are in jail in Arcanletia for killing the other one…Who is also taking a mental wellness leave."

"…How have you not been replaced?" Kazuma asks.

"Don't be silly! I'm not like Aqua, I can't be replaced!"

"How dare you! Wait, why did you have Counter Guardians in my holy city?"

"Well…it was to prevent this scenario from happening, other things happened, and you should know that uh…your people may have had the idea of concentration camps put into them…"

"WHAT?!"

"And I thought Arcanletia couldn't get worse…" Kazuma mutters before continuing.

"So how is exactly is this my fault you shitty unconsciousness?"

"Because you stole Artoria's sheath!"

"You did what?" Mordred asks with needles for eyes.

"Didn't you steal that sword from Artoria's armory?"

"Side point…"

"Regardless, how would that lead to-" Kazuma stops when Alaya takes a deep breath.

"Because that lead to Artoria coming here to get her sheath, failing to get the sheath, MHX using her for homerun practice, which landed her directly at the Demon King's castle and-"

"Oh no…"

"After some talking and revelations that the demons are being prosecuted by the Axis faith-"

"Wait what?" Kazuma asks as Aqua pales.

"She joined their side, subjugated the Crimson Demon village thanks to being immune to most offensive magic of this world and thus enslaving them-"

"She did what?!" Megumin shouts, a voice crack making Rin cover her ears.

"It was after she found out their connection to Kazuma, that one perverted observatory they used to spy on the Demon King's daughter when she bathes or changes, and the fact they have a sword in the stone! After that she convinced the overjoyed Demon King to hand over his crown temporarily until she-"

"Gets her sheath back…" Kazuma says with wide eyes.

"Yep! As well kill all birds and toads, but that's more her personal mission than an official objective! She even anointed a bunch of new generals, summoned a few servants after making some ritual circles, all horrifyingly powerful and-"

"I heard enough…can't you just…unsummon her something?"

"Eris is having a hard time doing that…Artoria's hatred is stopping it…She's also coming to Axel in less than a month…on a side note can Fergus visit?"

"No, the last time I was in the Heavens I doomed a country! I have taken a vow of celibacy!"

"I'll put on cow horns!" Alaya says and Fergus vibrates like a heated up atom until he slaps himself.

"…So you're saying you need someone who is good at fighting King Arthur and destroying kingdoms?" Mordred asks, a smile inching up on her face.

"Think you still got it?" Alaya asks.

"Don't fall for that!" Kazuma says as Mordred grins.

"I wouldn't mind helping destroy her either~." Jeanne says with golden eyes.

"…I suppose this is one way to get out of that debt…" Kazuma says with a grin.

Fernando · 2026-04-06T22:11:51+0100

Fergus… took a vow of celibacy?

Praying on a rosary bead to God, who's canonically a pervert?

…

Yeah, that tracks.

Davos · 2026-04-06T22:30:05+0100

Fernando said:
Fergus… took a vow of celibacy?

Praying on a rosary bead to God, who's canonically a pervert?

…

Yeah, that tracks.

Little surprised those three or so lines got a comment out of everything here.

QWStag767 · 2026-04-06T23:23:37+0100

I'm kind of amazed Aqua didn't cry to Kazuma about what happened. She's absolutely the type of person to get others to get revenge for her.

Cu-nosuba: God’s Blessing on This Lancer’s Holy Grail War!

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