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  1. Midara: Requiem [High Fantasy Necromancer fun]

    It feels like there's something missing here? Calenda talks about lack of walls, Elruin asks "Why?", and then Calenda seems to answer a question that has little to do with walls.

  2. Midara: Requiem [High Fantasy Necromancer fun]

    There were multiple instances of first person text for some reason? aside from, or besides boulder

  3. Midara: Requiem [High Fantasy Necromancer fun]

    quote

  4. Midara: Requiem [High Fantasy Necromancer fun]

  5. Midara: Requiem [High Fantasy Necromancer fun]

    Cuts off here - another case of missing text. Needs closing quote.

  6. Midara: Requiem [High Fantasy Necromancer fun]

    Ok, but the next sentence uses "them", and it really looks like it'd refer to the morks. "saving them from Cali" should be "saving her family (or siblings or whatever) from Cali" then.

  7. Midara: Requiem [High Fantasy Necromancer fun]

    The following sentence is clearly talking about her family.

  8. Midara: Requiem [High Fantasy Necromancer fun]

    Well... "Academies" were mentioned, but it wasn't at all obvious that they would be so profoundly different. To the extent I thought about it, I had a mental image of a choice like going to one university or another - they can have different focuses, but generally have similar programs. But the...

  9. Midara: Requiem [High Fantasy Necromancer fun]

    The introduction of the college topic was a bit abrupt. Unless I missed something, the alternatives weren't mentioned anywhere? There was a vote on the quest side which listed possibilities, but not shown here? too Dining

  10. Midara: Requiem [High Fantasy Necromancer fun]

    rather than dressed in a were Extra space there. I tried indicating it with a background color change, but that doesn't seem to work properly. The change is visible in the editor, but not in preview.

  11. Midara: Requiem [High Fantasy Necromancer fun]

    "praying", unless that's a new species with a punny name the other animals are "a" led

  12. Midara: Requiem [High Fantasy Necromancer fun]

    heels That should be a dash instead of a semicolon, as the second part is not a sentence. Plans were dashed a larger teemed its reflex had left behind loss

  13. Midara: Requiem [High Fantasy Necromancer fun]

    Another case of text cutting off trio lie water

  14. Midara: Requiem [High Fantasy Necromancer fun]

    Now it seems to say that it was his face that weighed half a ton...

  15. Midara: Requiem [High Fantasy Necromancer fun]

    A lot of errors in the first paragraph... wont Missing "such" or something. Also, I think non-transitive "ripped" is primarily about things like cloth ripping, and would use "were ripped" here. Huh? What? "animals were lost in"? homestead, Could be dialect It had fled missing word cuts...
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