Advent of the God-Harem King [Highschool DxD/Exalted] (CLOSED)

[nightblade]

Both of these are absolutely true! What I want is for the story to continue being of the best possible quality. What I want is for characters to gain power and respect based on their own actions whenever possible. I want good characterization and a plot that is more than the sum of Issei's power-ups. I want the girls to be actors in their own stories, not just decorations that hang off of Issei's arms. If you are opposed to these things then you and I are going to have problems from here on out.

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I didn't say any of that. So don't put words in my mouth. Honestly if all you are going to do its bitch about how alex does things in his quest then don't play. You have your own you can run anyway you want. It's starting to get annoying that you are constantly complaining about the way alex does things in this quest.

 

[Megaolix]

Alright guys, I have to ask you here to all calm down a bit, alright?

 

[Stroth]

Not sure if she could do that that easily.

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Easy my ass. Bright has dedicated millenia of work to recreating the Primordial's power in an attempt to restore the concepts that were destroyed in the War. Hell, Bright Shattered Ice isn't actually her name. It's the name of a Primordial she killed in the war whose identity she assumed in the hopes of keeping its concept from being lost. She is the single greatest expert on them that has ever lived bar none.

 

[Alexander]

Just wanted to say I intended to start writing the new post the last weekend.

I didn't make it. Blame life.

But I can start tomorrow, and then start immediately start on the final one because it's ****ing time.

In the meantime:

Doesn't Ruby look criminally good in Archer's clothes? Is black and red the combination of those truly badass?

 

[Smuthunter]

Doesn't Ruby look criminally good in Archer's clothes? Is black and red the combination of those truly badass?

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Trufacts, red black and silver is the coolest of all color schemes.

 

[Diller]

Trufacts, red black and silver is the coolest of all color schemes.

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And this Smut is why I usually agree with you besides your reasoning. You have good taste.

 

[cross_grave]

Mmm. Ruby in that armor looks delicious.

 

[iamnuff]

Her hair doesn't look quite right, aside from that, she looks good.

 

[Stroth]

Her hair doesn't look quite right,

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It should be a much darker red. And they inverted it. Her hair is dark enough to pass for black at the base and fades to red at the tips, not the other way around.

 

[Z000]

Yang got Gold Booster Gear
Wiess and Ruby get to be EMIYA and Saber

poor Blake, she the only one that doesn't have a cool cross-over art

 

[tsuknoryu2986]

Yang got Gold Booster Gear
Wiess and Ruby get to be EMIYA and Saber

poor Blake, she the only one that doesn't have a cool cross-over art

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More like we haven't found it yet.

 

[theonebutcher]

He appears to be considering throwing it in simply because his audience demands to have the shiny.

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Uh... this is a quest. An Exalted Quest. If the audience wants the shiny it can get the shiny, we just need to write an appropriate stunt. If Alexander doesn't want to give it to us he needs to, for example, throw us hard challenges which mean we need other stuff first, he needs to come up with a reason why we can't have the shiny, or make the shiny unappetizing for mechanical reasons, like Dragon Energy causing Yang's explosions to hurt herself, making it into an emergency transformation or Cast from hitpoints until we seal a Dragon into her sacred gear.

Also, this is an EXALTED quest. If we want the shiny and the universe doesn't want to give us the shiny, we'll kick the universe in the balls and steal it's lunch money, the shiny and ride into the sunset on Dinosaurs pissing Heroin.

 

[Alexander]

"By the way, Kiba-kun."

"What is it, Sempai?"

The Queen, Knight and Rook of the Gremory Peerage are walking through the streets of the replica city after reaching the site. Their movements are slow and cautious, aware that the unfamiliar location offers a lot of possible hiding spots and ambush points that the enemy can take advantage of. That's why Koneko is at the front, using her enhanced Nekomata sense of smell and hearing to look out for the presence of the Phenex Peerage. Behind her trail Kiba and Akeno, the latter suddenly addressing the blonde swordsman.

"I can understand Koneko-chan, because she brings them everywhere she goes-" Akeno tilts her head in the direction of what she's talking about.

Spoiler

Kitten boxing gloves. There is no other term to describe the seeming bizarre-looking pair of gloves currently wore by the small white-haired girl. One black and the other white, the pair of boxing gloves are shaped like anime-ish cat's heads. The black one is grinning mischievously, while the white one has a stoic expression. But despite the eccentricity, both Knight and Queen know those are specially made gloves based on a design commonly sold to Devils participating in Rating Games. While nothing special, they are more durable than anything human made and thus a good weapon for Devils like Koneko that fight bare-handed.

"-But where you kept your armor?" She finishes, referring to the light armor Kiba is currently wearing: knee-guards, shoulder-guards and gauntlets. "Did you learn the spell to store things in a sub-dimension?"

"Alas, no. Theory is okay, but practical magic is still very difficult for me." He shakes his head while smiling, unbothered. "Try taking a closer look."

He holds up one gauntlet for her to see. Akeno stares at it for a few seconds before realization makes her eyes widen. "This-! Swords?!"

Indeed, at a closer look it could be seen that the gauntlet's surface is made of many tiny blunt swords no bigger than a nail linked by rings over the fingers and the palm and welded together on the back of the hand. A quick glance confirms that the other pieces of armor are the same.

"My Sacred Gear can only create swords." He explains. "However, I realized only using it to create standard swords limits me, so I decided to be creative and see how much can I push the boundaries of my power."

"Impressive." Akeno comments with a hand over her mouth, impressed at her kohai's resourcefulness. "Did you come up with it all by yourself?"

"Not...exactly."

"Uh?"

Kiba makes a strange face, a mix of incredulity and nervous chuckle. "Do you know that on the Internet you can find threads with hundreds of pages where people post what they would do if they had the power to create swords out of nothing?"

The black-haired buxom beauty puts a slender finger on her lower lips, feeling like she's missing out a hidden joke because of ignorance. However, before she could question Kiba-

"Look out!"

-Both are tackled by Koneko and pushed back.

BOOM!

An explosion goes off in the place previously occupied by the three. Instantly recognizing the danger Akeno pushes her hand forward, creating a magic circle that forms a barrier. Just in time for another magical projectile to hit it and detonates, straining the barrier but failing to penetrate it.

"Aww, I missed."

Spoiler

Flying up in the air with her wings spread, Yubelluna's tone is less disappointed and more mocking.

"...Cheap shot." Koneko glares at Raiser's Queen.

"Normally I wouldn't agree with an enemy, but she's right." Coming out from behind a building are two more Devils.

Spoiler

"Let's do this instead! I'm the Knight of Raiser-sama, Karlamine! Rias Gremory's Knight! I challenge you to a duel!"

Spoiler

"My name is Xuelan! I'm a Rook of Raiser-sama! I know there is a Rook among you: let's fight and end this quickly!"

"Ara ara." Akeno laughs, but her eyes have a dangerous glint as she spreads her own wings and takes flight to stand in front of Yubelluna. "Three versus three? How convenient. Then I will be your opponent, Raiser's Queen, Yubelluna-san. Or should I call you the [Bomb Queen]?"

"That name leaves a sour taste in my mouth." The enemy queen's smile dims. "Then again, [Priestess of Lightning] sounds ironic when applied to a Devil." She eyes Akeno's miko attire up and down with a challenging air. "I was hoping to fight you though. To make something out of this pointless fight."

"Ara ara. Fufufu. That, is what I honestly find strange." Akeno cups her cheek with one hand. "All the other members of Raiser Phenex's Peerage hold a grudge for the failed wedding. All beside you." She smiles mischievously. "One would think you're glad your King hasn't married, giving you more time to seduce him."

"So what?"

Yubelluna's blunt answer makes Akeno drops her smile to assume an expression of surprise.

"It's bad enough that my Master is a lecher who loves big breasts and a dumbass that wanted a [Little Sister] and [Tsundere] type character because of fashion! Do you have any idea how difficult is to keep his interest from waving every time a harlot with big breasts happens to pass in his field of vision? And then he said he's going to marry! My family served the Phenex with generations, why I alone must have it so hard?!"

She said all that without breathing. Akeno blinks a couple times before an impish smile forms on her lips. "Ara. Do I smell the scent of forbidden romance?"

"No." A sphere of compressed fire appears in Yubelluna's hand. "It's the reek of your flesh burning!"

She tosses the bomb at Akeno. In response the black-haired beauty shoots a lightning bolt. The two attacks collide halfway and explode.

Both with smiles that promised untold pain for the other the two Queens begin to exchange blows, one using explosions and the other lightning bolts. They dodge when needed, using a barrier only when the attacks from the other come too close for comfort. Despite having wings their positions remain mostly stationary, because casting spells requires a lot of concentration.

Until Yubelluna releases explosions in a wide area trying to overwhelm her opponent, and Akeno answers by also releasing her lightning bolts in a wide area. The clash make the two attacks explode, releasing a smoke curtain that cover each girl from the other's sight.

A few seconds after the curtain formed however Yubelluna senses movement above her, and looks up in time to see Akeno dropping down on her ready to perform an axe-kick. Caught by surprise the purple-haired beauty could only cross her arms above her head to defend herself, but even then the blow's strength, increased by gravity, is enough to rattle her bones and slam her into the ground below.

Akeno does a graceful backflip, landing on the tip of her left feet-

And disappearing using super speed. Yubelluna has only the time to gasp before Akeno hits her side with a palm strike.

"Do you know that dance and martial arts have a lot in common?" The Gremory Queen asks with eyes closed and a sadistic smile. "In the past the former was used to hide the latter during governative oppression."

The Phenex Queen tries to raise her staff to retaliate, but her counterpart grabs her robes and tosses her over her shoulders and face first on the ground.

"Usually I torture my victims using magic, but I confess that using my hands, feeling your flesh giving away on my skin...is on a completely different level."

She kneels down and grabs both sides of Yubelluna's head, first gently and then with almost bone-crushing strength. Yubelluna looks up at her in horror.

"I hope you have Phoenix Tears stashed somewhere, because you are sooo going to need them!" Akeno says in a sing-song voice.

It's only a flicker at the edge of her perception- and the feeling of heat on her skin -that save Akeno when the body she was previously holding bursts into flame.

"How about no?" Yubelluna hisses between gritted teeth as she stands up, a corona of fire bombs forming around her.

Akeno's smile just widens.

----

"Stop dodging already!"

Xuelan is frustrated. On top of being forced to endure the presence of the Gremory Peerage and those strangers because they are Lord Phenex's guests, she even felt intimidated by a human, a human! For her, a Devil, is unacceptable to feel intimidated by a lower being...no matter how scary.

And just when she thought she could get a good fight, her opponent decides to play completely defensive! How is she supposed to enjoy it like this?

Channeling her anger into the flames around her limbs she unleashes another combo of kicks that her opponent, a shortie called Koneko if she remembers right, defends against either by dodging with minimal movements or parrying with her gloves.

Were she in a calmer state of mind, she may have recognized the high, narrow stance with the elbows kept close to the body used by her opponent in time.

She tries to follow with a sweeping punch, and is rewarded with Koneko reacting for the first time by locking her arms around her own. Recognizing a joint lock attempt Xuelan prepares a kick to free herself-

When, in an unexpected move, Koneko's legs rise and hook around her own. "Kiya!" Losing her balance Xuelan falls on her back. Koneko wastes no time by pulling the trapped arm in the opposite direction and twisting it with one hand, forcing the Phenex Rook's torso to lean on its side, while her free arm slides around the chinese girl's neck and begins choking her. Finally she slides one foot between her opponent's legs, further limiting their movements.

Koneko has successfully pulls Xuelan under a [Submission Hold].

"W-What kind of style is this?!" The Phenex Rook chokes out, blanching as she realizes she can't muster enough leverage to break free.

"...Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, strengthened using Wing Chun's principles." Koneko whispers into Xuelan's ear. "...I am very flexible, but...are you?"

----

"I'm happy that there are warriors like you in Rias Gremory's group. Coming out here directly from the front. That's something people with normal sanity won't do." Karlamine says making a happy face. "But I love idiots like you. Now then, let's begin." She finishes, drawing her sword out from the sheath.

"This is the first time someone call me an idiot as a form of compliment. What a novel experience." Kiba remarks happily while drawing his own sword. "I'm the Knight of Rias Gremory, Kiba Yuuto. Would you like to have an intense sword fight with me?"

"With pleasure!" She starts slashing as if dancing, each blow flowing into the next gracefully. KIba replies with his own personal style of swordsmanship, created by mixing the Tennen Rishin-ryu style learned under his master Souji Okita and the more classical western style. In his hands is a double-edged pitch-black sword: the Holy Eraser, capable of nullifying Holy Energy. Karlamine, being a sword enthusiast, instantly recognizes it.

"Unfortunately, your Sacred Gear won't work on me."

Flames appears on her broadsword's surface. The moment the two swords clash again the flame-covered weapon cleave through Kiba's one, leaving him with half a blade.

Karlamine parts her lips to gloat, only to be abruptly interrupted. Her eyes widen as she sees a blade quickly forming in front of her face. She hastily steps back, watching with some dread as the blade's tip finish forming right where her right eye previously was. "What?!"

"Freeze."

Kiba slams a new sword, one with a blade made entirely of ice, into the other Knight's weapon. The flames start to freeze until Karlamine's sword is covered in ice. The next moment it breaks into many pieces.

Having lost her main weapon she reaches for her dagger, but has to abort the movement and raise her gauntlets to block two new swords forming in midair. Since this time she was fully looking at Kiba she's able to pin-point the origin, her eyes widening as she sees the blades forming, pommel first, above Kiba's right left shoulder and wrist respectively. "What trickery is this?!"

"No trickeries, only my Sacred Gear." Yuuto replies with a confident smirk. "Its name is Sword Birth. I can make and create any type of demonic swords. That is the name of my Sacred Gear and its true ability. And the applications-"

Pivoting on his right foot he performs a sweeping kick, more swords appearing on its surface and launched by the motion at Karlamine who finds herself on the defensive. Distracted by the unusual attack she fails to defend properly when Kiba slams the flat of his ice sword in her side, freezing it.

"Are more than I once thought possible."

Gritting her teeth Karlamine finally takes out her dagger and thrusts it in the air, shouting: "We are the members of the all mighty House of Phenex that rule over fire and wind! Taste it! The whirlwind of fire!"

A strong wind begins to blow with her at the center, flames boostered by the air until, as she said, a whirlwind of fire melt the ice on her side and looms over Kiba.

"Stop."

An unique looking blade with a hole on the tip appears in Yuuto's other hand. The wind from the Phenex Knight's attack is sucked into the hole until nothing remain, the ice sword in the other hand cooling down Kiba's body from the intense heat.

"Flame Delete-" He raises the ice sword in his right hand. "And Replenish Calm." He raises the other sword in his left hand. "I am sorry for you, but I have all my bases covered. The strength of my Sacred Gear is versatility after all. Pure swordsmanship is the only way for you to defeat me."

"...Ah. Ahahaha!!" Karlamine starts laughing. "You are an unorthodox swordsman! It's not a bad thing, mind you. But a demonic sword wielder...what fortune. I may have a destiny of meeting swordsmen who wield special swords."

Kiba seems quite interested after hearing that. "Hmm, so you meet another demonic sword user before me?"

"No, it wasn't a demonic sword. It was a holy sword."

"—!"

Instantly there is a load of killing intent coming out from Kiba. His expression changes after hearing that, going from interested to deadly cold.

"Tell me about that holy sword wielder." Kiba asks-no, commands with a low voice.

Karlamine looks completely unaffected. "Hmm, seems like that swordsman has some connection to you. But since we are warriors, talking would be rude. I will answer you with my sword!"

Yuuto merely tilts his head, his expression hollow as the swords in his hands disappear. "...Is that right...If your mouth can move, then it won't be a problem even if you turn into a state where you are on the verge of death."

A humming sound begins to fill the air, like a electric generator coming to life. Kiba's demonic power flares, intense emotions hidden under a cold expression fueling it.

"Loading." Many swords start forming, not just above the surface of Kiba's body but all around him. Instead of falling to the ground they hover there as more swords are formed. Each sword, instead of a hilt, has in its place a smaller sword. "Stand by. Fire One."

A whirlwind appears around one of the smaller blades before it releases a powerful jet of air along the blade's surface, pushing the greater sword in the opposite direction with the force of an arrow...directly at Karlamine! The Knight uses her dagger, strengthened with wind, to deflect the projectile.

"All Fire. Sword Barrel Full Open."

And bites back a curse as more swords, a literal rain, is shot at her. "What kind of swordsman are you?!"

"One on a Revenge Mission. Now talk...before I bring out the explosions."

----

I was tempted to have Kiba use a customized UBW chant...then I kicked myself and went back to serious writing.

 

[ragoogar]

"Do you know that on the Internet you can find threads with hundreds of pages where people post what they would do if they had the power to create swords out of nothing?"

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Kiba has an SB&/SV account??!!!

 

[Alexander]

Kiba has an SB&/SV account??!!!

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"DevilFangKnight666"

 

[Bloodshifter]

Koneko needs to wear a kitten costume and let out her ears and tail, she'll adorify everything into daww puddles.

And Kiba is bullshit.

 

[iamnuff]

I've been re-reading the light novels, and it's struck me again how clumsy some of the phrasing is, and you seem to be mimicking it here (slightly) too.

for example, don't you think ""I don't like that name because of its bad taste." would make more sense as "that name leaves a sour taste in my mouth" or something?

Part of the reason it seems so odd is because the descriptions and narration sound perfectly fine, but the dialogue... It's not just clumsy, it's clumsy in exactly the same that that the LN was, which actually sounds really hard to pull off, now that I think about it.

Another section, just off the top of my head, is this.

"It's bad enough that my Master is a lecher that love big breasts and a trope maniac that wanted a [Little Sister] and [Tsundere] type character even if he isn't interested in incest!

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Shouldn't that be something like

"It's bad enough that my Master is a lecher who loves big breasts and a trope maniac that wanted a [Little Sister] and [Tsundere] type character even if he isn't interested in incest!

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I'd probably replace the latter half entirely with something about collecting archetypes like dolls, since she doesn't seem the type to say the word trope.

Even ignoring that. "that wanted" should be "who wanted" and "even if he isn't interested in incest" just doesn't feel like something that a person would say. both in phrasing and in the comment about incest.

 

[Stroth]

"DevilFangKnight666"

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Does he play the same quests as Ise? And how did Fate/stay crossdresser work out?

 

[Alexander]

I've been re-reading the light novels, and it's struck me again how clumsy some of the phrasing is, and you seem to be mimicking it here (slightly) too.

for example, don't you think ""I don't like that name because of its bad taste." would make more sense as "that name leaves a sour taste in my mouth" or something?

Part of the reason it seems so odd is because the descriptions and narration sound perfectly fine, but the dialogue... It's not just clumsy, it's clumsy in exactly the same that that the LN was, which actually sounds really hard to pull off, now that I think about it.

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Gotta agree with you here. Sadly I am not a native English speaker, so certain things escape my attention. Luckily it's only slightly.

Does he play the same quests as Ise? And how did Fate/stay crossdresser work out?

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No, but he consults the FSN Idea Threads.

Shirou married Saber and became a fine house wife. Saber started wearing man's clothes. Everyone avoid talking about the elephant in the room out of politeness.

 

[iamnuff]

Gotta agree with you here. Sadly I am not a native English speaker, so certain things escape my attention. Luckily it's only slightly.

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It only really shows up in the dialogue, so it seemed intentional.

that said, i've edited a little more into the comment above.

 

[burningclaw2]

"By the way, Kira-kun."

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Typo~

By the way, love the fact that Kiba has an SB/SV variant account. Now Ise just needs to convince him to join in the quests. ^^ Imagine what may happen to Kiba's Balance Breaker when its loaded with idea's from the internet.

 

[the DragonBard]

Oh, didn't realize you weren't a native, Alexander.

Very cool update.

Kiba should also look up the Lost Swords fantasy series, and see if he can't replicate some of those. Farslayer, Woundhealer, Shieldbreaker, Doomgiver, and Wayfinder would all help a lot in Rating Games.

 

[burningclaw2]

Aren't some of them Holy Swords or just plain enchanted?

 

[Bloodshifter]

I just thought of something Kiba can enchant his sword armour.

Greaves of Impact, Heavy Gravity, Blurring, Sound Negation
Leggings of Feather weight, Speed, Air Resistance Deletion
Chest of Element Delete, Edge Projection, Thorn Aura.

 

[soul ice]

I like how you are showing the divergent development for the Gremory group. Kiba was the sole technician in the LN now it looks like the others are starting to spread out in response to Issei's skill growth. its an interesting contrast to the group that picked up the charge forward and power through now its more like charge forward and finesse your way through.

 

[the DragonBard]

I just thought of something Kiba can enchant his sword armour.

Greaves of Impact, Heavy Gravity, Blurring, Sound Negation
Leggings of Feather weight, Speed, Air Resistance Deletion
Chest of Element Delete, Edge Projection, Thorn Aura.

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Should ask Issei.

If nothing else, Bright probably could suggest several different types of Artifact Swords Kiba could try and replicate with Swordbirth. Same for the sword armor.

 

[Furoan]

Hmm...I'm sorry if I come of negative here because I certainly don't mean to be, however I wasn't entirely happy with that update. Oh I certainly enjoyed it, however it came down to the 'show don't tell' thing.

For example you had Akeno's battle with the Bomb Queen. You were writing things like "Akeno sent a wide blast of lightning"...honestly I didn't get a good image/feeling of what she was doing. I mean I have read the light novels and seen the anime but it just felt kind of lackluster compared to some of the earlier fights, like the time Issie went dragon-mode and smacked Riser around, or the fight while he was visiting the Dojo from the Kenichi manga (forget its name). The battles here just felt a bit flat. I mean even Kiba's battle, while I know what you were going for just felt....

Again not trying to start trouble but it was my major complaint for this snippet.

 

[theonebutcher]

Part of the reason it seems so odd is because the descriptions and narration sound perfectly fine, but the dialogue... It's not just clumsy, it's clumsy in exactly the same that that the LN was, which actually sounds really hard to pull off, now that I think about it..

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I thought it's because he is trying to emulate their accents. He's trying to be in character. Of course their accents are not like for example Hagrid's or Applejack's real accents, but rather awkward translation artifacts, but it goes to show he can write characters authentic.

 

[Alexander]

Oh, didn't realize you weren't a native, Alexander.

Very cool update.

Kiba should also look up the Lost Swords fantasy series, and see if he can't replicate some of those. Farslayer, Woundhealer, Shieldbreaker, Doomgiver, and Wayfinder would all help a lot in Rating Games.

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A great idea...sadly, Kiba must be able to understand the effects he gives his swords and how they work. Sword Birth is not that OP.

I just thought of something Kiba can enchant his sword armour.

Greaves of Impact, Heavy Gravity, Blurring, Sound Negation
Leggings of Feather weight, Speed, Air Resistance Deletion
Chest of Element Delete, Edge Projection, Thorn Aura.

Click to shrink...

Are those real things from a book/game?

Hmm...I'm sorry if I come of negative here because I certainly don't mean to be, however I wasn't entirely happy with that update. Oh I certainly enjoyed it, however it came down to the 'show don't tell' thing.

For example you had Akeno's battle with the Bomb Queen. You were writing things like "Akeno sent a wide blast of lightning"...honestly I didn't get a good image/feeling of what she was doing. I mean I have read the light novels and seen the anime but it just felt kind of lackluster compared to some of the earlier fights, like the time Issie went dragon-mode and smacked Riser around, or the fight while he was visiting the Dojo from the Kenichi manga (forget its name). The battles here just felt a bit flat. I mean even Kiba's battle, while I know what you were going for just felt....

Again not trying to start trouble but it was my major complaint for this snippet.

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Don't worry, constructive criticism is very welcome.

Sadly, I am very, very bad with battles that involve people tossing beams and other ranged attacks at each other. Close and personal is where I shine best. I will try to improve in the future.

 

[Furoan]

Hey fair enough. As for beam fights, personally I try to well we'll give substance to the beam. Like the air beginning to him with potential energy as lightning snapped around Akeno's hand, or try to describe the swords Kiba a bit. Perhaps a bit on how he is getting them to levitate or his devil aura playing over the. Just things like sounds or visual ques give a feeling of depth even if the same thing is happening.