Cosmos Quest (Naruto/Lupin III)

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

Count as what? I'm gonna wait on an updated tally to make sure everything's fair.

... okay, I tell a lie, I just wanna see what kind of rant Hymn goes off on. >

Click to shrink...

Alas, at the time of this vote I was chilling with my best friend playing Destroy All Humans! 2! As such, I have been considerably mellowed by abducting hippies into my flying saucer and dropping tanks into a lake. Granted, I am also vastly annoyed at a certain side mission, as well as tasks and mobile missile platforms that never fucking stop respawning, but Arkvoodle, Lord of the Sacred Crotch, eases my rage.

By telling me to take my rage our on goddamn hippies.

Praise be to Arkvoodle!

 

[Guile]

"Never more shall you peddle the wares of heavy carbohydrates swimming in Succulent and fatty broth and MSG! Step aside from the path of the fatness(No offense Chouji, you carry it really well), and join the dark salad of the forest!"

Click to shrink...

I know Zenigata loves him some ramen; what food does Lupino get in to?

 

[FurikoMaru]

[X] It is quite literally tessen and bitches, though sadly not all the way down.

"Ne, Hinata-chan, can I ask you a favour?"

"M-me? Of course, Ino-chan. What do you need help with?"

"I want you to teach me how to beat up your cousin."

"WHAT!"

Huh. Whaddya know, she can yell. Several people turn to look in the direction of the noise, realize that you're involved, and grin in anticipation.

Hmm, you didn't want spectators for this. Pulling Hinata away by the hand, waving to your disappointed fans as you go, you eventually come to a little alcove around the back of the school.

"Calm down," you say, "I'm not gonna hurt him or anything. I just want him to stop being such a dick to everyone. He's angry, all the time, and he keeps taking it out on the other kids in class. He's a fucking mess."

Hinata flinches. Oh, right, she's all sheltered and stuff and no one really swears at her. Well, she's gonna have to get used to it - ninja aren't exactly known for their delicate manners, after all.

"Why would you ask me for help?" she asks, staring at her sandals.

"Well, I wanted to make sure you didn't already have dibs on kicking his ass, for one thing," you say.

"Ehh?!" And just like that, she is no longer allergic to eye contact. "Me? Th-that's impossible."

Ooooh, you love that word. Every time someone says it, it twinkles with pretty lights and tells you to catch it if you can.

"Why?" you ask. "I know you don't like fighting, but Neji seems to like it a little too much, if you know what I mean. And that's okay, with the profession we're going into, but if he doesn't get it under control, it could get him killed in the field, and then you'd be down a cousin."

Her chakra twists guiltily. "I wish Neji-niisan could be happy again," she says quietly. "But I don't think beating him up is going to help. And even if it would, I can't do it."

"Well, sure, not right at this moment," you concede, "you're too slow and the whole hating-fighting thing makes you hang back way too much. But those are temporary-"

"It's not just that," Hinata interrupts. "Neji-niisan is a genius."

... when you eventually catch your breath and wipe the tears out of your eyes, Hinata looks terribly confused.

"Ano..." you manage to get out, stifling a fresh round of giggles, "he really isn't."

"Yes he is," she says, frowning slightly. "Father won't admit it, but I heard some of the Branch Family members talking, and they said Neji is the greatest Jyuuken prodigy in living memory."

"Which makes him a guy who's really good at solving problems by hitting things," you say, "but that's not the same thing as a genius. Look, what're the two characters that make up the word?"

Her frown deepens. "'Heaven', and..."

"'Talent', or 'ability'," you fill in. "That means a genius is someone who wields the power of the gods, on a smaller scale; the ability to create something new."

Hinata just stares at you.

"Has he ever invented a new Jyuuken move?" You persist. "Has he figured out a way to make Byakugan training more efficient? Hell, has he ever so much as made up a story or baked a cake in his life?"

"I... don't know," she says.

"One thing I know," you say, crossing your arms authoritatively, "he hasn't made Jyuuken as beautiful as you have."

"Ehh?!" Her blush could power five cities.

You nod, resolute. "I don't know if Gentle Fist is usually the way he does it and you refined it somehow, or if yours is the normal way and he's fucking it up, but your version is better. It's more balanced."

... maybe you overdid it on the compliments, there; she looks like she's about to pass out.

"Wah! You okay?" you ask, stepping forward.

"Y-you shouldn't talk about things you don't understand!" Hinata says hotly. "Neji-niisan is not f-f-f-f-fucking anything up! He's already better at Jyuuken than most of the chuunin Hyuuga! To say that I could somehow s-surpass him is absurd! You've seen me fight, I'm terrible!"

You're about to laugh again, but you manage to turn it into a cough. "Hinata-chan, I don't think second place in a class of thirty is 'terrible' by any sane definition."

"You don't understand. Other children don't count," she says miserably. "I am Hyuuga; there is only excellence."

"... well I am Ino," you declare. "And I don't believe there's a single path to excellence. I think each person has to make a new one for themselves."

The pair of you stare at each other across the cultural divide.

"... if my Jyuuken is b-beautiful," Hinata asks finally, "what good does that do? Neji-niisan is still stronger than me."

You shrug. "Would you like to change that?"

=

Before you begin, Hinata makes it clear she won't use any of the private Main Branch techniques in front of you, because ever since rumours about your snatching habit started floating around you've been placed in the same category as a Sharingan-user (you're irked to no end to hear that), and it's now forbidden for any Hyuuga to show you anything too impressive.

You're kind of surprised any non-Hyuuga are allowed to learn Gentle Fist, but Hinata says without the Byakugan the style is considered incomplete, so there's no reason to guard it.

And you thought the Lollypops were arrogant.

Ah, well. You aren't here to master Jyuuken.

You're here to learn how defeat someone who uses it.

Menka sits on the sidelines, henge'd into human form, with a First Aid kit on his lap. You introduced him to Hinata as a friend and sparring partner of yours, but you're not sure she bought it. You don't know why; you made sure gave himself a shirt this time.

You fall into your ready stance, and beckon Hinata with your tessen. "Ready when you are."

=

An hour later, sprawled on the ground, staring up at the sky, you ask, "Wanna get a bite to eat?"

You interpret Hinata's wheezing mumbles as an affirmative, and after Menka fusses over the pair of you for a few minutes, you all head over to the closest Akimichi-owned enterprise.

To your surprise, Ami's there, looking over a menu at the counter. She looks up when she hears the door open, and smirks at you.

"I didn't think there were any girls who could put up with you but me," she says with no preamble.

"Hinata-chan's Byakugan easily detected my awesomeness," you reply smugly. "Hinata-chan, this is Ami; if you ever need photographs of Uchiha Sasuke for whatever reason, she's your connection."

"Ha!" Ami tosses her hair. "Like I'd share. Besides, Hyuuga don't need photos; they can take a peek whenever they want." She frowns. "Hey, you haven't been looking under Sasuke-kun's clothes, have you?"

"Wh-what?! No!" Hinata looks scandalized. "I don't have the Byakugan yet! I wouldn't do that to a fellow classmate!"

You are incapable of keeping the grin off your face. Does she always have the best possible first reaction, or do I just bring it out of her?

=

Contrary to typical cliche, you know exactly how you ended up at the movies. You were passing by after your early dinner and Ami just dragged the two of you in to see Princess Fuun, regardless of Hinata's protests that she had to be home before sundown.

What you aren't clear on is how the three of you managed to get through the whole screening and out the door without getting arrested.

For one thing, Ami's pickpocketing technique is embarrassingly bad; she has to bump into people to make it work, and after the third time you're amazed no one, including the staff, has put two and two together.

For another, this and all subsequent criminal activity is greeted by a gaping mouth and loud squeak of panic from Hinata.

Naturally, the money isn't for tickets - all three of you sneak in, you dragging Hinata along to make sure she doesn't get snagged by moving too guiltily. You've seen that happen to other kids before; it isn't pretty.

But when Ami says snacks are on her, your pride intervenes, and you tell her not to waste her new wealth; you'll take care of it.

It's a simple enough trick; you glance at the counter boy's nametag as you pass, go down the hall to the bathroom, duck through the door labelled Employees Only, punch in the PA code helpfully taped to the wall next to the phone, and tell him to report to the manager's office. Then all you have to do is head back to the counter, and...

"... that candy case locks on the other side!" Hinata whispers in disbelief as you surreptitiously slip a chocolate bar into her pocket.

"Damn showoff witch," Ami grumbles, stuffing a chocolate-covered almond into her mouth and crunching loudly.

Then there's the film itself. It's pretty fun... or it would have been, if a group of teenaged boys hadn't decided to sit in front of you and start loudly mocking everything that happens on the screen.

By the time the love interest makes his first appearance (okay, admittedly, he is a pretty terrible actor), Ami looks about ready to murder someone. She contents herself with flicking almonds (denuded of their chocolate) at the boys' heads and telling them to shut up instead.

Understandably, if hypocritically, they take exception to this, and go off to find the manager.

Hinata looks stricken. Ami just pouts. "Rats. I really wanted to see the end."

"We can split up," you suggest. "If we aren't all sitting together, they have to round us up before they can throw us out. At least one of us is bound to see the whole thing."

"A-ano," Hinata interjects weakly, "maybe we should just leave?"

You and Ami both stare at her. "But... the movie isn't over."

Hinata opts to take her new seat in the corner, perhaps thinking they'll be less likely to look there. Ami decides to head for the middle of the theatre; if it'd inconvenience other customers and showcase security's incompetence to throw you out, they'll think twice before they try.

Pfft. Amateurs.

You make the only choice you can; the front row. Now you have a better view and there's no way you could have been sitting behind those boys.

Eventually, the day is saved, the heroes get back on the road to adventure, and the lights come up... but not before a security guard spots Hinata. You miss out on the last five minutes of the climax, watching to see if the girl's going to need a bailout diversion. But eventually he moves on, and you breathe a sigh of relief.

The three of you meet up again outside, and don't say a word until you've left the theatre a block behind you.

"You holdin' up all right?" Ami asks Hinata finally. "I saw what went down in there, and, well, I know you probably aren't used to that kind of thing..."

"He asked me if I'd seen anyone spitting candy at the other patrons," the white-eyed girl replies. "He didn't think for even a moment that it might have been me." She sounds almost insulted.

"So?" you ask. "Whacha say?"

She gives you a small smile. "I said if they got rid of those loud boys, I wish I had seen them, so I could say thank you."

The three of you don't talk much the rest of the way. There's not much left to say.

=

Chakra Theory is dogma and guesswork and bullshit that only tangentially relates to reality, and that's all you have to say about that.

On the plus side, this means you're doing really well in it.

=

Click. "Are you just going to keep picking up strays like this?"

"I'm not a stray," Sasuke objects, before turning his attention back to the game board.

"What's wrong with having lots of friends?" you ask, for once using your tessen as an actual fan as you lie on the floor of Shikamaru's living room, drifting in and out of sleep.

"Nothing, until you inflict them on the rest of us," your host replies.

"Hey, you invited me over!" the Uchiha protests, making his move.

You snort. "How're you ever going to make chuunin if you don't learn how to talk to people besides me and Chouji?"

Shika winces. "You've been scheming with Mom again, haven't you?"

"Possibly," you reply. "Or maybe I don't wanna have to be the one to marry you when she starts wanting grandchildren, just 'cause no one else'll take you."

Click. "That Ami girl is right," he says. "You are a witch."

"Someone call my name?" the aforementioned grape-haired girl says, carrying in a tray of lemonade.

Refreshment! You peel yourself off the tatami and reach out for a glass. "Ah~ my saviour has arrived! Come to mama, citrusy goodness~!"

Ami jerks the tray out of reach. "Sasuke-kun gets first pick of the glasses," she decrees.

Sasuke throws you an embarrassed glance.

"... fine," you pout, going back to fanning yourself. "It's too hot to argue."

=

Thwack! Another kunai hits the target handle-first.

Such a waste. Knives are expensive; bullets are cheap.

You shut up, you reply sulkily, we don't have your kind of guns here. I hafta make do.

Thwack! Hell.

Thwack! Damn it.

Thunk! Hey, there we go.

Thwack!

-______-

... oi, Jigen-san. Exactly how hard is a pistol to make?

=

[X] Shock the Monkey

... maybe I should have told Dad I was going to try Lightning today.

As if by some jinx, this is the moment Dad arrives home from work.

He takes in the destruction of the still-sizzling living room, along with your relatively pristine condition, and says only one thing.

"So. Dual-affinity, then."

Mom has quite a bit more to say on the subject.

You don't bother explaining that it isn't exactly Lightning you used. That you fucked up and thought about the actual composition of lightning, as opposed to the significance of Lightning. They wouldn't get what you mean, anyway.

----------

You know the drill. Pick two people to inflict on yourself and (perhaps) each other.

[X] Menka

[X] Sasuke

[X] Kiba

[X] Ami

[X] Hinata

[X] Lee

[X] Neji


Free time? Pick two.

[X] Guns. Read everything you can about firearms as they currently stand. Kunai are taking too goddamn long to learn.

[X] Continue corrupting the youth of Konoha. ^_^ (Correlates to who you vote for above)

[X] Try to refine your mask design. There has to be a way to make them so you can just pull them right on without ripping them.

[X] Mom says if you work hard at your koto lessons, you might be ready to learn the next level of the style.

[X] Work on expanding your sensing range.

[X] Write-in.


... none of you fuckers are still awake, are you. -_-;

 

[nightblade]

[X] Hinata
[X] Sasuke

[X] Work on expanding your sensing range.
[X] Continue corrupting the youth of Konoha. ^_^ (Correlates to who you vote for above)

I'm awake.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

No Menka? Wow, you must subconsciously hate the furball.

[X] Menka
[X] Kiba

[X] Try to refine your mask design. There has to be a way to make them so you can just pull them right on without ripping them.
[X] Work on expanding your sensing range.

I'll probably end up switching cause I don't think my primaries have much chance....but hell, sensing is cool, and I'm really looking forward to the masks becoming one of Ino's mainstays.

 

[mc2rpg]

[x] Ami
[x] Hinata

[X] Guns. Read everything you can about firearms as they currently stand. Kunai are taking too goddamn long to learn.
[X] Try to refine your mask design. There has to be a way to make them so you can just pull them right on without ripping them.

 

[FurikoMaru]

Fuck! Editing now. -_-

It's not that I hate him, I just... I have plans for him in the future, just no plans for right now. Also I am tired.

 

[nightblade]

Actually does anyone think we should make a pistol. Would it be useful in a fight against upper level ninja. Now that i think about it probably not.

 

[Selias]

[X] Hinata (She's coming along nicely. Plus, we need more Jyuuken practice.)
[X] Sasuke

[X] Continue corrupting the youth of Konoha. ^_^ (Correlates to who you vote for above)
[X] Try to refine your mask design. There has to be a way to make them so you can just pull them right on without ripping them.

 

[nightblade]

Also we got Storm Release. Who wants to refine that.

 

[FurikoMaru]

Actually does anyone think we should make a pistol. Would it be useful in a fight against upper level ninja. Now that i think about it probably not.

Click to shrink...

How many upper-level ninja do you think you're going to be fighting?

 

[nightblade]

Fuck! Editing now. -_-

It's not that I hate him, I just... I have plans for him in the future, just no plans for right now. Also I am tired.

Click to shrink...

Ranton is water Lightning. Water wind is Ice.

 

[nightblade]

How many upper-level ninja do you think you're going to be fighting?

Click to shrink...

Also introducing pistols might make the naruto world worse. Look at how much guns changed our world.

 

[Guile]

[X] Menka
[X] Kiba/Akamaru

If that's not an option,
[X] Lee
[X] Neji

Edit: Or Sakura! Does nobody want to save Sakura from being edged out of the Academy?

[X] Guns. Read everything you can about firearms as they currently stand. Kunai are taking too goddamn long to learn.
Given there are people out there with SB in their heads, this information should be out there. Ask dad if uncle ever talked about 'the dakka'.
[X] Try to refine your mask design. There has to be a way to make them so you can just pull them right on without ripping them.

Guns already exist; a Wave country shopkeeper had one. And they have things like arbalest-carrying ninja trains. Also, a competent ninja can blast a house with the element of their choice. A really good ninja can destroy a city.

 

[Pipeman]

[X] Hinata
[X] Sasuke

[X] Corruption
[X] Koto

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

How many upper-level ninja do you think you're going to be fighting?

Click to shrink...

Yeah, if we end up in a tussle, we probably did something wrong. If we end up against the big guns....we're probably proper fucked. We're a thief, not an engine of destruction.

 

[nightblade]

We also have storm release. So we can be a heavy hitter as well.

 

[FurikoMaru]

Ranton is water Lightning. Water wind is Ice.

Click to shrink...

Canonically (inasmuch as filler can be said to be canon)? Yes.

Is this canon? No.

We also have storm release. So we can be a heavy hitter as well.

Click to shrink...

XD That's so cute how you think it's going to be easy.

 

[Redon]

[X] Hinata (She's coming along nicely. Plus, we need more Jyuuken practice.)
[X] Sasuke

[X] Continue corrupting the youth of Konoha. ^_^ (Correlates to who you vote for above)
[X] Work on expanding your sensing range.

 

[nightblade]

Canonically (inasmuch as filler can be said to be canon)? Yes.

Is this canon? No.

XD That's so cute how you think it's going to be easy.

Click to shrink...

Where does the lightning come from then. The only way i can see you involving wind is if you get a kekkei Tori that let's you minuplate storm clouds. Like dust release.

this is hte canon storm release. http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Storm_Release

Wind and water makes this. http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Ice_Release

 

[Guile]

Possibly owing to the fact that nobody in Konoha knows Storm Release? And for lightning affinities, there's... Kakashi.

Man, I don't even want to imagine what Kakashi and Ino might get up to together(/against one another).

 

[Balatro Philologus]

[X] Sasuke
[X] Hinata
(Though Sasuke & Ami Might be fun.)

[X] Try to refine your mask design. There has to be a way to make them so you can just pull them right on without ripping them.
[X] Mom says if you work hard at your koto lessons, you might be ready to learn the next level of the style.

 

[FurikoMaru]

Dude. nightblade. How is lightning formed in the real world? How girl get pregunt

Did you just... miss the part where I elaborated on the Unique Perspective quirk?

 

[nightblade]

Oh. Sorry didn't get that. Now i understand what that does. So were making lightning the way it works in our world. with wind and water chakra. That is neat.

 

[FurikoMaru]

Yep. Everyone around you will doubtless be endlessly confused when it becomes apparent that you suck hard at traditional Raiton jutsu.

 

[nightblade]

Could we steal Hyoton. and use that to make it easier.

 

[FurikoMaru]

Maybe. If you could find a Hyoton user. Good luck with that, though; the Yuki clan was slaughtered in the bloodline purges of Mist.

 

[nightblade]

Well there is always Haku.

 

[Guile]

We're also not actually a sharingan user. Presumably there's more to making jutsu - especially half-seal non-standard special Jutsu Release - than funny hand gestures and throwing some chakra around.

 

[FurikoMaru]

Well there is always Haku.

Click to shrink...

Fuck you he's a dragon. 8)