The main story.
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User | Total |
---|---|
Fulcon | 10 |
Combat | Stealth | Knowledge |
| | |
Marksmanship | Sneak | Physics |
Defense | Light Armor | Chemistry |
Heavy Armor | Lockpicking | Mathematics |
Striking | Pick Pocket | History |
Smithing | Disguise | Biology |
Athletics | Speech | Economics |
Grappling | Acrobatics | Computer Science |
Honestly a bit of a rough start with the info dumb but i think you can turn this story into a great one
(shock face) did Death forget to turn off the system exploits with the potions and smithing daggers
Joking, but am looking forward to the story
An excellent setup prologue. Like.... I get that you'd think this is boring because society trains us to glaze over when high action isn't happening, but this is quite good and optimized.
Over the span of a short, breezy prologue that wastes absolutely no words you've given us a workable base understanding of the power system, reasonable speculation about how it's likely to be different from previous work overall, and a feel for how early problem solving is likely to work. What's more that was only half your work.
You also established early and hard not just what brand you're working in, but what subheading of it, and at what point in the timeline. Further you established points of characterization, and how they DIFFER from last work. Maxed speech with littlins, a proclivity to approach EVERYONE socially, and going full bard to manipulate things in your favor with trades? That says THINGS to me boy. Some similarities aside this ISN'T last work, and doesn't seem to want to be.
All of this work done at standard or even short chapter length with blistering pacing speed. Never feel shame for this. It's an extremely high quality rendition of something that stories which want to hit the ground running need even if some don't appreciate it.
I like this but it isn't really a Gamer system if it doesn't reach superhuman levels. It's also not much of a Gamer story if the protagonist starts with everything maxed.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it's just not a Gamer story as-is.
I like this but it isn't really a Gamer system if it doesn't reach superhuman levels. It's also not much of a Gamer story if the protagonist starts with everything maxed.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it's just not a Gamer story as-is.
You realize that no mention of perks means that he's almost assuredly working with a skill separate leveling system based on, likely, combat and quests right? Until proven otherwise I'm working on the assumption that he's level one. And IF that's so no amount of maxed skills are going to make up for scaling, perks, and equipment that just isn't there yet.
Also this shit is DC. Barring something I'm just not seeing here, he's basically trying to be batman as a STARTING POINT.
My level as of today is 66. 66 levels of grinding and not a single noteworthy adventure worthy of a comic book, hence the cliff notes.
Quest Added: "Where's the Blacksmith?"
Attain 25 ranks in Smithing: (0/25).
Quest Added: I must go, my people need me!
Move to the City of Sky Peak: (Incomplete).
Quest Added: Heart Breaker.
Break up with Regina: (Complete).
Break up with Jane: (Incomplete).
Break up with Melissa: (Incomplete).
Break up with Danielle: (Incomplete).
Break up with Reese: (Incomplete).
Break up with Marcella: (Incomplete).
Break up with Jesse: (Incomplete).
Establish a Superhero Identity: (Incomplete).
New! (Optional): Complete (Situationally Aware).
Quest Added: Situationally Aware.
Complete a Situational Awareness Course: (Incomplete).
Quest Updated: I need a hero!
Establish a Superhero Identity: (Incomplete).
(Optional): Complete (Situationally Aware).
New! (Optional): Complete (Masquerade).
Quest Added: Masquerade.
Raise your Disguise skill to 50: (33/50).
No no. It doesn't make sense for a guy that is cheating on so many girls not to have sex with them. Its just stupid
Honestly the dating multiple girls at once thing was a concern for me for a moment until I read your reply that he does make sure they are aware of each other and still agree to date him. So long as they are aware of each other in the situation and still agree knowing that then as far as I'm concerned it's okay. It's if he was going behind their backs to do so that would make me think very poorly of him.I see what you are saying.
On the first date, Jacob goes out of his way to explain that following: "I am not looking for anything exclusive. I don't care if you see other guys, because I will be seeing other girls."
I do not believe that's cheating. It's not monogamous, certainly, but its not cheating.
EDIT: Oh, sorry. Your issue is with the celibacy. My mistake.
Well, I'll just say this: his moral conditioning is extremely strong - it has to be if he's going to be a superhero.
Honestly the dating multiple girls at once thing was a concern for me for a moment until I read your reply that he does make sure they are aware of each other and still agree to date him. So long as they are aware of each other in the situation and still agree knowing that then as far as I'm concerned it's okay. It's if he was going behind their backs to do so that would make me think very poorly of him.
...jesus, talk about a 180. For a second I thought I was reading a different story cuz this all came outta nowhere. Not really my thing but good luck bro
TFTC. Story look good for now. Glad that he won't be one the simps who are weak enough to not know how to say no to a pretty face.
High praise! I had actually looked up some videos on how to creatively write and I found a goldmine of a channel which I can link if you're interested. It changed my attitude about what fiction is and supposed to be which I think has come out in far more efficient prose.
Thanks. I stole it from someone in either QQ, SB, or SV. don't tell anyone tho.
Thanks. I stole it from someone in either QQ, SB, or SV. don't tell anyone tho.
Quest Completed: Heart Breaker.
Break up with Regina: (Complete).
Break up with Jane: (Complete).
Break up with Melissa: (Complete).
Break up with Danielle: (Complete).
Break up with Reese: (Complete).
Break up with Marcella: (Complete).
Break up with Jesse: (Complete).
Quest Added: Welcome to the City of Sky Peak!
Survive: (Incomplete).
Retrieve your remaining Luggage: (Incomplete).
(Optional) Destroy the monster: (Incomplete).
(Optional) Find a safe place to hide: (Incomplete).
(Optional) Use the chaos to bypass airport security: (Incomplete).
Quest Updated: Welcome to the City of Sky Peak!
Survive: Complete!.
Retrieve your remaining Luggage: (Incomplete).
Failed: (Optional) Destroy the monster.
Failed: (Optional) Find a safe place to hide.
Failed: (Optional) Use the chaos to bypass airport security.