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Gaming Stories, Video and Tabletop

Also, I am trying to remember something I was going to say... there is that thing that galls me... oh right. One of my biggest pet peves is that fighter fluff explicitly says it was inspired by heracles and cu cuilain.... seriously? you got inspired by those and gave us such a weaksauce class incapable of doing anything worthwhile? where is my warp spasm? where is the divine rank as a demigod?

Wut... Heracles and Cu Chulainn? The first of whom held up the sky, defeated Cerberus without wounding him and fought Titans in the second Titanomachy? Not to mention impregnating like a hundred women in a single night!

Edit: Wait it was only 50 women and it was one women per night, though another version says it was all of them in a single night.

And Cu Chulainn was no slouch, fighting successive duels against every member of an entire army after having his magic boosts reversed to the point where he had to tie himself to a tree to keep standing? I don't know his feats as well, but he has some insane shit just from random googling like shouting and killing a 100 people just from the fear it induces!

Now that is just a hilariously dumb comparison from the game devs...
 
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Now that is just a hilariously dumb comparison from the game devs...
Yes, they really dropped the ball there
And Cu Chulainn was no slouch, fighting successive duels against every member of an entire army after having his magic boosts reversed to the point where he had to tie himself to a tree to keep standing? I don't know his feats as well, but he has some insane shit just from random googling like shouting and killing a 100 people just from the fear it induces!
An 8 minute summary of

Sorta maybe the mortal reincarnation of a god, who is somehow also a separate entity. Basically like Jesus.
When he gets angry his skin and organ flips inside out and he becomes a hulking giant of great power that can (and has) slaughter armies (plural). Calmed down by the power of boobs.
Can just sleep off poison.
Badass/evil spear
Ridiculously beautiful and charismatic.
Trained by a war goddess, defeats her evil twin sister (who logically is also a goddess?) and has a kid with her when he is between 7-10 years old. Which he ends up killing because stupid shit.
Dies at 17 while still fighting. The divine power in his corpse still fucks up his enemies even after death.
 
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I'm not entirely certain if this is the right place for this or not, but recently I've been working on a Mutants and Masterminds setting for my tabletop group and wanted to run it by for ideas.

My usual GM and I worked a bit on the backstory, basing it on the idea of the equivalent of the Kree-Skrull-Shiar war where three different groups of aliens were invading Earth as part of their conflict with each other.

In this case we have psychic human-aliens, bug-arachnid Grey's with a lot of biotech (They are a hive-mind in the more 'normal' way where pheromones and other stuff is what they communicate with and they don't have normal individuality), and machine aliens that use ridiculous magi-tech. Due to all of the superhumans and such the aliens never managed to successfully take over despite pouring resources into the area, eventually they decided that Earth just plain wasn't worth the effort and supplies spent and decided to leave (With lots of their destroyed ships littering the landscape and space). All of the fights really wrecked the environment, along with all kinds of mad science experiments being unleashed by different villains, heroes, and governments in desperate 'Fuck You's to the various alien groups. In the aftermath a lot of the remaining superhumans and organizations gathered survivors in different manners. There are Mad Max raider people, low tech communes, arcologies run by tech heroes and villains, magical kingdoms, and a lot of the old super villains or their descendants keep trying to cause trouble.

For examples of the places that are still around:

Brasilia ended up becoming an arcology run by Mad Matteo, a science hero who was a businessman that funded the main superhero group of the pre-war era. All of his powers are from gadgets...such as the SCIENCE crowbar that has high ranks in penetration and can shoot blasts of nuclear energy from it. Because SCIENCE crowbar. His city has most of the maintenance done by robots but the humans in it are obligated to contribute to ensuring the arcology keeps working. Once you are of the age of majority you will be given a job determined by a supercomputer if you can't find one yourself. Everyone has tracking chips and other control mechanisms to make sure no one ends up causing the system to break down.​
Mexico City got taken over by Itzpapalotl (An aztec goddess) who decided that the obvious answer to the majority of humanity getting killed off is to have survivors be her worshippers who form a hunting cult where their goal is to prove their valor so that they will get killed and have their shattered bodies broken apart to create were-jaguar people that are still technically human.​
Charlemagne is hanging around Europe with Morgan Le Fay and his Neo-Paladins making a Holy Roman Empire that makes liberal use of the magi tech left behind by one of the alien groups​
A Russian timetraveler has been leading a group of plucky mutants in keeping the peace in an irradiated wasteland.​
New York has what is essentially a cult of Fitness maniacs that believe in their Lord and Savior The Mask where their essential tenant is that all evil can be defeated with trickery and face-punching.​
 
For examples of the places that are still around:


Ways I can see this going wrong/awesome: :D

Brasilia ended up becoming an arcology run by Mad Matteo, a science hero who was a businessman that funded the main superhero group of the pre-war era. All of his powers are from gadgets...such as the SCIENCE crowbar that has high ranks in penetration and can shoot blasts of nuclear energy from it. Because SCIENCE crowbar. His city has most of the maintenance done by robots but the humans in it are obligated to contribute to ensuring the arcology keeps working. Once you are of the age of majority you will be given a job determined by a supercomputer if you can't find one yourself. Everyone has tracking chips and other control mechanisms to make sure no one ends up causing the system to break down


Thinker/tinker-type super: "I download the entire internet's worth of porn into the supercomputer to see what happens."
*crit success.*
DM: ".... Okay the arcology is now a 24/7 orgy. Including you. Have a nice life."

Mexico City got taken over by Itzpapalotl (An aztec goddess) who decided that the obvious answer to the majority of humanity getting killed off is to have survivors be her worshippers who form a hunting cult where their goal is to prove their valor so that they will get killed and have their shattered bodies broken apart to create were-jaguar people that are still technically human.


Not!Superman: "Can I destabilise one of the orbiting spaceship wrecks to reduce mexico to a crater?"

Charlemagne is hanging around Europe with Morgan Le Fay and his Neo-Paladins making a Holy Roman Empire that makes liberal use of the magi tech left behind by one of the alien groups


Alexander Anderson ripoff: "Did someone say PEACEKEEPIN'? I roll to crusade."
 
In stuff about the campaigns I play in that isn't us screaming at Sword.

During one of our previous adventures a cleric that we hired disappeared with a bunch of the loot from a gorgon we killed. The ranger was petrified so we couldn't really track the cleric down. As such we went onwards to the village, hoping we could talk to the priests there.

On the way there we saw the priest again, but it was actually a Hobgoblin with an illusion on him. He then tried to kill us.

What proceeded was...

Cleric: I make a ball of light.

Me: Can the spell I have that increases the brightness of light sources work on that?

GM: I will rule yes, and that just burns his eyes and gives him a headache. *Rolls* And his spell misses.

Sword: I'm going to run and grapple him. *Succeeds*

GM: *Rolls* And he fails to get out of your ridiculous grip on his turn.

Me: I intimidate the hobgoblin into telling us where the cleric is. *17*

GM: He refuses to talk.

Me: I am going to use Burning Hands.

GM: You do realize Sword would be in the area of effect.

Me: Yes, but he's a Dragonborn with fire abilities.

GM: He does have resistance.

Sword: She.

Me/GM: You only chose that so you could be annoying with this character and try to seduce everything with a pulse or trying to get things for free.

Sword:...Just do the fire thing.

GM: I'm going to assume he succeeds due to the grapple, just roll on damage.

Me: *18*

GM: He is screaming in pain as his face burns.

Cleric: I'm going to bring my light up so it is behind our heads as we walk up to him, and keeps blinding him.

Me: Is this becoming the four lights scene from Star Trek?

Cleric: Maybe

Me: I intimidate the hobgoblin into telling me where the priest is. *18*

GM: He spits on the ground.

Cleric: I move the light closer and look through my inventory for my jar of acid.

Me: I prepare to use poison spray.

Sword: Can I beat him up?

I feel bad for our GM (Who felt bad for the hobgoblin), but I feel like he should know better than to put someone who we have every reason to try and beat information out of into our path. Especially after they threaten us, attempt to extort us, and then try to kill us.

GM: That poor Hobgoblin.

Me: He shouldn't have impersonated a priest and attacked us.

GM: I would consider moving your alignments to evil if not for the fact that you are in the Inquisition, and that is far from the worst people in your organization do.

Me: We tried to get him to tell us, and he refused. Besides he is a hobgoblin, they aren't in the Church so it is in character for us.

The methodology of our characters varies greatly by the context. (When I say Our I am referring to Myself, Ranger, and Cleric. Not Sword. Sword is always Sword no matter what character he plays).

Want to get information about a potential cult in the city and our only lead is a student from the magic college. Go to her home, offer healing to her ailing grandmother (We follow through on this), promise witness protection (we follow through on this), and help her pay for her college (We follow through on this).

Want to get information about a priest that disappeared. Talk to all of the priests friends, including giving aid to a blind old man, paying off a drunkard's debt while getting him the job that he loves back, and plenty more.

For further context, while the rest of us were doing this Sword mostly just made jokes about perverted priests, illicit acts, and similar stuff.

But back to the group in general. If we get attacked our first response is to use overkill as much as possible. Mostly because the GM has a tendency to throw things that us that require either overkill, or using every advantage possible (Like an enemy with an AC none of us can get past so the spell casters all need to spam long ranged cantrips from above that use dex checks. One of the few stats which the enemy isn't higher than us in)
Ways I can see this going wrong/awesome: :D
That is partially how I considered making the areas.
Thinker/tinker-type super: "I download the entire internet's worth of porn into the supercomputer to see what happens."
*crit success.*
DM: ".... Okay the arcology is now a 24/7 orgy. Including you. Have a nice life."
Just to be clear, the areas I mentioned are run by high level NPCs that act as Faction Leaders in the Campaign.
Not!Superman: "Can I destabilise one of the orbiting spaceship wrecks to reduce mexico to a crater?"
Is in character for the outline I have for that one, but because Goddess she isn't that hasty.
Alexander Anderson ripoff: "Did someone say PEACEKEEPIN'? I roll to crusade."
I fully intend for there to be a teleporting, regenerating Alexander Expy.

Charlemagne: Now then, I am the Roman Emperor, sir Pope. I know you are new to the job due to everyone dying recently, but understand this. I am the Emperor. I rule Christendom and you are an advisor.

Pope ???: That isn't actually how-

Charlemagne: No my friend, that is how things work. Now, for the sake of the remaining human lives on this Earth I need access to all your records of Holy Artifacts and magical texts.

Pope ???: Morgan Le Fay is right there behind you.

Charlemagne: She is also the one that has been healing King Arthur. I see no issue.

Pop ???: Also there is the matter of the concubines you-

Charlemagne: Everyone is a consenting adult and there is no issue.

*IRL Charlemagne had at least 5 concubines*
 
First dnd game. Dm keeps asking questions, I put out bullshit answers. End up as a half orc sorcerer with spears and a draconic bloodline.

In a cave, joined up with a party just as one of their members falls down a pit. A ton of goblins show up, so I cast firebolt.

It misses.

Goblin runs up and tries to hit me, misses, so I use shocking grasp on him.

Gm tells my I get on my knees and cast the spell. 2 damage.

I realize that goblins are 2 feet tall, and I am 6+.

Next turn, I grab the goblin by the throat and pick him up, nat 20 strength check. I throw him down the hall, 5 dex, so he crashed into the ground in front of me and explodes.

Later on, we come up to a super long hallway. Up ahead I see a room with a chest and what looks to be a thot. I rush forwards, trip a wire, and the room explodes killing everyone and destroying the chestnut a fiery inferno. I'm knocked unconscious but survive.

After getting healed by the cleric, I pick up the warhammer head that's left over (it was a dwarf warrior, not a thot). We continue.

Party splits, one side facing goblins and the other two fighting a bugbear, I'm alone and confused.

The goblin side lose consciousness and get dragged into darkness, the cleric and the ranger get knocked out by the bugbear. I show up. We look at each other.

I seduce the target, despite not knowing the language. It works? Charisma is 18 with a boost of 3, how even.

While the bugbear is distracted I throw the metal hammerhead at him, it hits his face and his head explodes.

I loot the body. Wooden club and nasty loin cloth. I put the weapon on my belt and wear the lion cloth as a bandana.

Gm makes me do a constitution roll, luckily I have 17 with a boost of 3 so I make it.

Im wearing a loin cloth on my head, carrying a wooden club, with two unconscious teammates and 3 more lost in a dark cave somewhere.

What even is this game.
 
First dnd game. Dm keeps asking questions, I put out bullshit answers. End up as a half orc sorcerer with spears and a draconic bloodline.

In a cave, joined up with a party just as one of their members falls down a pit. A ton of goblins show up, so I cast firebolt.

It misses.

Goblin runs up and tries to hit me, misses, so I use shocking grasp on him.

Gm tells my I get on my knees and cast the spell. 2 damage.

I realize that goblins are 2 feet tall, and I am 6+.

Next turn, I grab the goblin by the throat and pick him up, nat 20 strength check. I throw him down the hall, 5 dex, so he crashed into the ground in front of me and explodes.
Wait that is like minus 4. Did you somehow roll that stat?
Later on, we come up to a super long hallway. Up ahead I see a room with a chest and what looks to be a thot. I rush forwards, trip a wire, and the room explodes killing everyone and destroying the chestnut a fiery inferno. I'm knocked unconscious but survive.
There is a random thot in the hallway?

I've discovered that planning tabletops is about as weird as actually playing them when I talked to two of my friends about our plans to play Mutants and Masterminds.

Before we even got about their plans for characters we ended up discussing how to use the Create people to drop anvils and trees on people.

Friend 1: I still want to be psychic Stroheim. But I thought about Gilgamesh. The Usual GM says Gilgamesh's powers would be summons.

Me: No, that would be ranged multiattack with the fluff being swords, or some kind of create ability linked to telekinesis.

Friend 1: He said that anything with portals is summon.

Me: Making portals is a power. Summons are basically stands.

Friend 1: Like Hermit Purple?

Me: Hermit Purple doesn't Stand or act on its own, that would be an array power with something like multiattack elongation damage. Killer Queen, Star Platinum, and The World would all be Heroic Summons.

Friend 1:...What if I had Summon, and my Stand had growth.

Me: You want a 50 foot tall Kaiju as a stand?

Friend 1: Yes.

After that we ended up in talks about power levels so I could explain them, with Static Shock being an example because Friend 2 was considering basing his character on Static, and later I did the math for a shield after talking about it being fairly cheap to make Captain America points-wise.

Seeing a Shield with reflect and an array so you can beat people with it, or throw it and have the weapon spin around, bouncing off of walls and having multiple chances to hit over different rounds made Friend 2 consider trying it.

Friend 1: I want to be either Psychic Stroheim who turns into a giant, or Psychic Stroheim with a Giant Stand,

Friend 2: I want to be a tank who can taunt people into fighting me, and take hits meant for other people.

Me: Is this going to be The All Tank Party? Because the usual GM wants to be inside of an actual tank, and I dread what Sword will make.

Friends 1 & 2:....yeah.

Me: Don't you guys want to have some variety?

Friend 1: It would be like Stardust Crusaders, everyone is a tank who is good at punching people.

We started talking about characters and setting, so far nothing is set in stone, but the Usual GM wants to be a Russian billionaire scientist in a tank, Friend 1 wants to be a Psychic Stroheim with a giant stand (the setting's Germany is part of the Holy Roman Empire at this point), and Friend 2 is planning to be an unaging British version of Captain America who existed before the world went to shit.

And the Usual GM wants to have the setting set in America due to the fact that one of the heroes is based on Metal Wolf Chaos (Dude in a giant mecha that has a huge amount of guns and punches people with the power of patriotism)

Friend 1: It's going to be terrible for you to have these three European guys there.

Me: You can be technical diplomats, helping since the USA essentially became Fallout.

Friend 2: Good Fallout, not the bad Fallout.

Me: You could travel, the all-Tank party in an actual tank on the journey to reunite America. On the Presidential Trail camp....Oh God its becoming the Steel Ball Run.

Friend 1: This really is starting to sound like Part 7. One of us is even British.

At that point I started explaining some of the groups in the USA. Such as the Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts joining and becoming what is essentially a country spanning paramilitary street gang.

Friend 1: And they are still selling the cookies.

Me: It is how people pay them for protection.

At this point my mental image of this has become three buff European guys riding a tank with an army of Girl Scouts totting machine-guns as they go to battle against Mad Max villains.

So...the adventures of Funny Valentine, Superheroes, and the Newsboy Legion.
 
I GMed Soth yesterday, it was a fun play and one of the players even set up a nice intrigue to get the other cultists to sacrifice one of them. The only problem was that they did not read the instruction for the sacrifice wrong and nearly killed the cultist to early. As the nice GM I am I had to inform them that they should hold the sacrifice on the last light of day and not at midnight. Otherwise, they would have to kill one more out of their mids and this time without having surprise on their side :D.
 
In the DnD campaign I'm in the party's ranger rolled something weird during the random encounters, causing a blink dog to appear near our camp.

GM: *looks at table* Oh, well this is happening now. *Describes the glowing eyed dog that shows up*

Ranger: What is happening?

Me: Oh no fairy bullshit.

GM: Everybody roll on if you know what this is.

Ranger: Fails

Me: Minor Success.

GM: Yup, you think it is a blink dog. Ranger, your wolf sniffs the dog and looks very happy.

*Ranger's animal companion ends up running into the woods*

Me: ...

Ranger:...Did I just lose my animal companion.

Me: Fairy bullshit, but Blink Dogs are normally good.

*Several in game hours later*

GM: Your wolf comes back, and you can see that its eyes are glowing.

Ranger:...

Sword:...

Cleric:...

Me: Either the wolf was fucked by a fairy, became a fairy, got possessed by a fairy, or some mixture of the three.

Ranger: What just happened?

GM: Everybody roll

Sword and I get minor successes.

GM: Sword, you heard tales of animals going away with fey and coming back weird. Sorcerer, you're pretty sure there is some literal fairy fuckery going on.

Ranger: Well, that's okay.

GM: Your dog starts to teleport around.

Ranger: Either I rolled really well, or I rolled really poorly and this is going to bite us in the ass at some point.

Me: Fairy bullshit.
 
I Reffed for cyberpunk yesterday.

In the course of three hours they managed to accidentally start a religious war between Inquisitors and Buddhists, undermine a gang leader's authority, cause another group of punks to go full Japanese Delinquent routine for one of their members, set off multiple grenades around an apartment complex, murder everyone in a caravan, and the Rockerboy who doesn't have any points in drive is racing down a street in a stolen van filled with gore and brain matter, with the remains of one cyborg splattered against the passenger side, and another cyborg clinging to the hood while swinging a chainsaw in his face.

Dozens of people are dead, the Fixer is hiding, the medtech is stuck within a few feet of a cyberpsycho that has a chainsaw arm and smart chipped heavy SMG, and the Solo is running down the stairs of a seven story apartment complex.

This is amusing.
 
The final battle in an only war oneshot I took part in (for those of you who know the system it was the 11 hour's until orbital bombardment one). There were 3 of us playing pre-gen'd characters, myself as the tech priest one ogryn and one commissar. We'ed managed to make it across the bridge to an area outside the blast zone pretty unscathed thanks to how we'd rescued anyone vaguely important we came across and called in as much help as possible, so when the Ork warboss showed up it was us, another commissar, the captain of the unit we'd been a part of and a high ranking asshole who we all hated but had helped anyway.

Combat consisted off the Ogryn, both commissars and myself in melee against an armoured ork warboss, going about as well as you would expect. The only weapons with enough ap to damage him were the bolt pistols and my axe, so in the first round the Ork crippled the NPC commy and put him out of the fight, before quickly doing so to the PC commy as well.

Then he got to me. At that point I'd probably done the most to him, and had actually not been one-shot by one of his hits, so the Ork was pretty impressed before he literally split me in half, giving us the first death of the battle. This really pissed off the captain due to my actions saving the injured squad members by repairing a Valkyrie for evac, so he jumps on the Ork and is then beheaded, but gave the Ogryn time to run to a set off detonators for the bridge (said orgryn repeatedly slipping on my blood as he went).

The PC commissar got up, recovered slightly, then was permanently crippled by Asshole commander who missed and hit him in the chest with his las pistol. We all felt good when the Ork killed him next.

The Ork managed to kill the Ogryn pretty easily at that point, only for the blow to cut off the Ogryn's arm. For those of you who know the critical effects in only war, you can probably guess what happened. The ripper gun, which had never hit anything it was aimed at during the game, goes off, finishing off the warboss, leaving two crippled commissioners to be dragged away after the battle.

Edit: Feel I should also mention a brief event in an ongoing campaign I'm part of.

New player: My character introduces herself as X. It means betrayal in latin.

The 3 collective old players:...all of our characters know Latin...

Que the adventures of a tiefling trying to be edgy and emo (the character not the player) and the rest of our characters mercilessly teasing them about it.
 
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I Reffed for cyberpunk yesterday.

In the course of three hours they managed to accidentally start a religious war between Inquisitors and Buddhists, undermine a gang leader's authority, cause another group of punks to go full Japanese Delinquent routine for one of their members, set off multiple grenades around an apartment complex, murder everyone in a caravan, and the Rockerboy who doesn't have any points in drive is racing down a street in a stolen van filled with gore and brain matter, with the remains of one cyborg splattered against the passenger side, and another cyborg clinging to the hood while swinging a chainsaw in his face.

Dozens of people are dead, the Fixer is hiding, the medtech is stuck within a few feet of a cyberpsycho that has a chainsaw arm and smart chipped heavy SMG, and the Solo is running down the stairs of a seven story apartment complex.

This is amusing.

Details please, because it sounds like good times were indeed had.
 
Details please, because it sounds like good times were indeed had.
The group that we currently have

A middle-aged Fixer from Hong Kong that is a local Triad Boss in Chinatown. He is mostly an info dealer that runs a gambling den and is essentially the protagonist of a John Woo movie. His life path was amazing, with him avoiding the entire Hong Kong Police force, stealing the girlfriends of a cop and a corp, stealing the best friend of a cop to get a mole in the police force, and a childhood friend that is in NetSec.

A Romani Solo that used to live in a Pirate Pack. He spent all his money on getting a hard suit, so all he has is his smroguous board of sensory cyberware (Eyes, nose, ears, motion sensor, touch boost, targeting stuff), armor, and a Kalashkinov. When it comes to skills he is essentially an Aimbot with 8 in stealth as well. (The only noncombat skill I think he has is Human perception).

A Hawaiian rockerboy whose life path roles makes it so essentially everyone hates him except for 2 people. He has a mono-ax that is also a guitar. He is mostly a noncombat character. His cyberware puts him at body 13 or so.

A former special forced Med-Techie that has middling SMG but also has two cyber arms with hydraulic rams, 16 in body, and high level martial arts. Also high demolitions skills and leadership. She also drives a GAZ Vodnik (Russian military truck)​
*Start of the session, Rockerboy is late to the chat so we need to fill some time*

Initially we had a long thing where the Fixer had been explaining that he had used his contacts to learn about the mission they were on *I'm running an altered version of the Osiris Chip* and how they were trying to get the insurance money on the shipment as well as the physical stuff.

But he had said it was 1 million dollars, I corrected him, and then realized he had been lying to Solo.

Which then caused the mess which is having everyone roll to lie to each other and try to perceive the lies.

The Fixer kept rolling 2 on the dice despite having a higher bonus than the Solo. Eventually I decided to just use the encounters table

Me: Okay, you are all in the Fixer's bar. *Rolls on encounters table* Okay, roll me awareness.

Solo: *Succeeds*

Me: Okay, you see a bunch of people in red and white robes that have crosses on them. They are beating up a couple. Can you roll to know who they are?

Solo: *1*

Fixer: I succeed

Me: They are Inquisitors *Have to explain what Inquisitors are in the setting*

Fixer: Is the couple from chinatown?

Me: Yes.

Fixer: Go make that stop.

Solo: Okay *loads assault rifle and points it at the window*

Fixer: If you destroy my window I am paying for it.

Me: You are going out without the power armor right?

Solo: Fine, *Gets 22 on stealth and essentially Batmans behind them* Okay, I am going to murder them both.

Me: *laughing*

Fixer: Wait no! That is how you piss off a huge gang.

Solo: How would anyone know I did it?

Me: There are other people on the street.

Solo: Fine, I shoot one of the guys in the leg.

Me: With an assault rifle.

Solo: Yes. *Destroys the guy's leg in a shower of gore*

Me: Everyone is screaming bloody murder and the guy you shot is bleeding out, spraying it onto everybody with the stump that used to be his leg.

Rockerboy *gets online* : What's happening?

Me: Solo just turned a guy's leg into hamburger *explains situation*

Solo: I am telling the Inquisitors that they can't just attack couples with cybernetics.

*Rolls to see how far this well escalate*

Me: The one that isn't bleeding out on the ground opens up his robes to show that he is wearing a suicide vest.

Solo: I tell him that suicide isn't the answer.

Me: Do you have any social skills?

Solo: *Only has human perception, and has like 5 empathy* No

Me: so you are trying to persuade religious fanatics that they are wrong, without charisma skills.

Rockerboy: Can I try?

Me: Roll

Rockerboy: *gets a 10, an 8 on the second roll, and his high empathy and skills boost it to the 40s* You do realize that a vest like that is basically just another kind of cybernetic?

Me: *pauses, looks at the roll* He blinks, looks down at himself, howls in terror, and rips the vest off of himself before tackling his still bleeding friend and removing another one.

Medtech: I'm just going to go and stop him from dying.

What followed soon afterwards was a series of Explosions and Fumbles as the Rockerboy tried to get the people of chinatown to form a neighborhood watch to defend themselves from the Inquisitors, but the fumbles on actually controlling the mob mentality and boiling rage led to the people he had whipped up into a fervor, deciding to take up arms, hunt down, and murder Inquisitors whenever possible.

Me: So, you accidentally created a gang of Buddhist/Daoist radicals. There are going to be dudes with traditional Chinese weapons and Romance of the Three Kingdoms costumes fighting guys that have medieval weapons and priest robes.

Solo: Hey fixer, you could probably recruit them and use these guys for muscle.

Fixer: I'll deal with this later.

I give them a night to make preparations, Fixer gets burner phones with explosives inside of them, gets his netrunner friend to track down one of the hackers involved in the insurance scam, and tells his men to go grab the guy tomorrow, Medtech buys a lot of armor piercing ammo and explosives, Rockerboy gets a helmet, and Solo fumbles on trying to map out the area in his head.

Me: So, are you guys going to the meetup the next day?

Fixer: yes.

Me: Is Solo going to be coming out of the small tank with his power armor.

Fixer: He is staying INSIDE of the APC

Solo: I have cyberaudio and infrared vision, so that's okay.

Me: Okay, so. You guys get to the meetup, three of you get out. And *Counts on the people in the module* Twenty-five bikers come roaring out of the street and stop in front of you.

Fixer:...I am so happy I kept Solo in the small tank.

I do the introductions and explain that the plan is essentially just to smash into the vans at midnight, kill the people in the front, and take it.

Fixer: That's okay.

Me: *Had seriously thought they'd want a plan other than run at the vans and kill everyone, partly since Rockerboy says he's never killed anyone*

Me: Okay.

Fixer: I ask if anyone likes to gamble.

Me: *Rolls* The Netrunner slowly raises his hand. "Uh, I like to gamble"

Fixer: Okay, if you win against me I'll pay for everyone's drinks.

Me: That is an int skill, and he is a netrunner. *Rolls to see what the guy's gambling skill is since this wasn't planned in the module. He has a five on top of maxed intelligence*

Fixer:....Okay *Worried sounds*

The netrunner got like five above him.

Me: Yeah, this is a guy who does advanced mathematics and memorization in his head.

Fixer: This was mostly to build rep with them.

Me: There are like 25 bikers who you need to buy drinks for.

Fixer: God, where is the nearest bar.

Me: *looks at module and doesn't see a bar* The Razor's Edge is a combination of Bar, barber, and emergency surgeon. A lot of the drinks are made with the same alcohol they use for disinfectant.

Fixer: That works.

Me: When you go to the bar you see four punks from the Ragers gang. (In our previous session the Medtech had given medical aid that saved the lives of several Ragers) *Rolls if they Recognize Medtech, which they kinda do* They wave at Medtech, but the Leader of the Ozoners Mach Three Mach starts to threaten them and has a Ripper coming out of his arm.

*Long confusion where I have to make it clear that Mach Three Mach is the one starting trouble and the other guys were just drinking in the bar*

Medtech: I walk up and tell everyone to calm down *Fails roll*

Me: He calls you a bitch and gets in your face.

Medtech: Are you trying to start something.

Me: Okay, here's the deal. You can either roll to do a Face-Down, or, if you want to work up the crowd and undermine his leadership you can do an opposed leadership roll.

Medtech: *Has +14 to leadership* I'm going with leadership *roll explodes and gets a result around 30 against Mach Three Mach's roll of 18 or so*

Me: Okay then, The Rager guys are like teenagers by the way, so...yeah this has gotten to Japanese Delinquent level stuff where they want to be like you. Especially since you are this terrifying former military woman wearing a combat jacket, with fairly obvious cyber arms, a goddamn APC in the parking lot, Heavy SMG in a sling, and are bigger than most football players. Mach Three Mach realizes just how fucking big you are and slinks back to the Ozoners and is using the members that are more like his toadies to build his ego back up. At this point, the Ragers boys will do whatever you want.

Rockerboy doesn't really do much, Medtech makes sure not to drink too much but gets the Ragers to join in the operation. Fixer gets the guy who owns the buildings by the apartment complex to let Solo go to the roof and snipe there later. Solo gets incredibly infatuated with another NPC, Chain, who is the former leader of the Ozoners and is close to cyberpsychosis.

Solo isn't really put off by the fact that Chain has only 1 Empathy left.

Eventually they went out and set up their ambush with everyone in alleys except for Solo, who is in his power armor at the top of an at least seven story apartment complex.

Me: Okay, random encounters *First roll makes me laugh* You see a gang of six Inquisitors walking down the road, chanting in latin while they keep their maces, flails, and swords out.

Solo: These motherfuckers again.

Me: That is what I got on the table.

Medtech: I go out.

Me: They see the thirty dudes with SMGs and pistols, look at their exclusively melee weapons, and when they get to the corner they choose to go down the Other street.

Medtech: Okay.

Me: *Rolls a 98 on the next encounter and sees that it is supposed to be a star being hounded by the media, remembers that Medtech's missing brother who she lost during a civil war full of child soldiers and rebel groups is a rockerboy* After a few hours you see a guy in an open-topped jeep driving away from a bunch of media vans, and you recognize your younger brother.

Medtech: I go out with the Ragers and point my SMG at the media.

Me: They peel off, the jeep squeals to a halt and your brother slowly recognizes you. "Wait what? You're alive" He glances down the alley and sees the like thirty other people waiting there.

Medtech: *looks at the gang of twenty-five bikers whose leader she pissed off* Okay, look, give me your cellphone number and leave you do not want to be here.

Me: And now your brother thinks that you are some kind of biker gang leader

Medtech: Oh god.

Me: Your life is a Telanovella full of misunderstandings and intrigue.

Eventually we got to the actual encounter. Two vans are driving down the street and the players realize they don't really have a plan.

Fixer: Solo, shoot out the tires.

Me: The tires of the vans you plan on stealing?

Fixer: Then shoot the passenger of the lead car.

Solo: Okay *Does an aimed shot to the head and succeeds with a bust despite the malus since he is specced as an Aimbot

Me: Okay. Roll to see how many bullets hit and do 5d6 damage for each*

Solo: *Gets a total of around 50 damage before the modifier of doubled damage to headshots is applied*

Me: To everyone it looks like there is suddenly meat sauce across the windshields while the driver slams the breaks, making the back van rear end them.

Fixer: I walk over to the lead car's door, either pull or smash open the door, and shoot the driver. *succeeds in the hit but doesn't do enough damage to kill the guy.

Me: The driver is covered in his friend's blood, screaming bloody murder, and has a bullet hole in his shoulder.

Fixer: The rate of fire for this gun is 2 so I shoot him again.

Me: Oh god

Fixer: If they don't have guns we are just rolling to see how long it takes for us to kill them all. I yell at everyone else to start doing that to the other van.

Me: I'm just going to roll death saves to see if they survived rear ending the front car *Both fail* they are already dead.

Fixer: *kills the driver of the front van* Okay then.

Me: The front car is just soaked in blood and gore.

*Long discussion about who is opening the back of the vans*

Me: *Rolls to see how things went with Fixer's other guys* Fixer, you get a call from your guys. They say that they have the other Netrunner, he had been on the net awhile ago and they went in and unhooked him before beating him into unconsciousness, taking him to a warehouse, and starting to torture him. They say he is talking a lot, but it is basically any lie that he thinks will make them stop.

Fixer: Just keep him WELL fed.

Me: They say he is kinda fat and greasy so they think they could probably starve him for awhile before he dies.

Fixer: Yes, but I want to make him eat himself to death.

Rockerboy: That's terrifying.

Fixer: That's the point.

Me: They say "Okay boss" and as they do that, Chain opens the back of the second van. There is basically the sound of sparkling as golden light illuminates him, his eyes widen and he says "My God, we hit the motherland"

Medtech: What is it?

Me: You can see that the back van is just filled with Chips, stacked up to the ceiling and in packaging, but you can tell that they are bundles of just hundreds if not thousands of chips.

Solo: I WANT THEM

Me: *Check's sheet* You don't have chinaware sockets.

Solo: I will get some then.

Me: You can see that there are pamphlets in some of the packaging.

Medtech: I open it up and read it.

Me: It has this elaborate corporate logo with an H for Humanatech along with what is clearly meant to be an Egyptian theme with lots of gold and what looks like a pharaoh with blue skin. The pamphlet says it is the Osiris Chip, a piece of chipware that through proprietary technology that Humanatech has been studying for decades, will stimulate the parts of the brain that deal with Empathy, making it so people with Cyberpsychosis will get their humanity back.

*lots of checking people's sheets to see what skills they have*

Me: Okay, Medtech. You don't really know the programming parts of this, but you do know a lot about the hardware of cybertech and have lots of medical knowledge. Theoretically this is possible, you aren't entirely sure how they could program it, and you know that if this is combined with the street drug you've been hearing about (a combat drug that in addition to increasing body, ma, and reflex for awhile has a tendency to cause heart attacks and brain aneurysms if it doesn't either make people go into a violent rage, or make them eerily calm) it could definitely help with cyberpsychosis. That is, if someone could figure out how to make that drug calm people instead of killing them or driving them into a murderous frenzy.

Solo: I want ten of them!

Me: Dude, you have six intelligence. You wouldn't be able to have that many active, and skill-chips don't stack like that.

Solo: I still want personal ones, and some to give to chain.

Me: He is already down there with everyone else, and the Ozoners are getting paid for this. He already can get one if he wants.

Solo: I'm running down there.

Me: You are at the top of a seven story building.

Solo: I'm still running down there.

Fixer: Dude, you don't have to be in every scene.

Me: Roll me awareness plus combat sense.

Everyone:....

Me: *laughing*

Fixer: This is why you don't need to be in every scene.

Solo: *succeeds*

Me: You see another sniper

Solo: Inside of the building?

Me: On the ROOF

Solo: Oh.

Me: Since you rolled so high you can see a sniper setting up on the opposite end of the building, and another on a building on the north. They think you are running down, so roll me stealth if you want to try to avoid them realizing you saw them and if you want to stay up here.

Solo: *succeeds* I'm going to shoot them both and scream in my headset that there is an ambush. *succeeds with two burst fire attacks that do enough damage to get past the snipers' armor and kill them*

Me: Okay then, *starts putting tokens on the map*

Medtech: Oh fuck.

Me: Yeah, you see people coming from every side. Up the street there are five dudes with axes and SMGs, in the alley there are another five with the same loadout, and coming from the south are Four obviously heavily cybered dudes with even MORE SMGs and chainsaws for hands. Everyone roll initiative.

Fixer: Solo, STAY on the roof.

Me: Okay, in the module it said to just randomize who dies, but I am going to be rolling. Solo got the highest so what do you want to do.

Solo: I shoot everyone.

Me: There are people in three different directions, and the amount of penalties you'd take would make it so you miss everyone.

Solo: Oh.

Medtech: Dude, you have grenades even if you aren't good with them.

Solo: Oh right, *barely succeeds roll to throw a grenade at one fo the groups of not as cybered guys*

Me: Okay, you dropped a grenade into a narrow alleyway at a bunch of people who were less than five meters apart. Roll me damage

Solo *gets just enough damage send them into the mortal range*

Me: Okay, next are the NPCs. Mach Three Mach shoots at one of the more cybered guys with his rifle *rolls damage* those ping off, Julie tries the same with her SMG *doesn't get through the armor* nope, and Chain picks up a motorcycle and throws it with his strength feat *Succeeds* Which splatters one of the cybered-up dudes into the pavement in a mess of twisted flesh and metal. The mooks are spraying at the punks with full-automatic fire. So I'm just going to roll on how many die immediately *3 do* And the ozone's and everyone else are firing with their SMGs and pistols. *Most don't get past the armor* The three remaining cybergoons are holding their actions. Now its medtech

Medtech: I throw a high explosive grenade at the other group of five that are firing at us. *succeeds* This is one of the ones that I've been messing around with using my demolitions skills. *gets ridiculous damage*

Rockerboy: I get into the front van and start driving.

Me: Okay. Are you trying to do anything? Drive away, ram the cybered guys?

Rockerboy: I'll try ramming. *rolls 1d10+Reflex since he doesn't have drive

Me: *Rolls just under what Rockerboy got* You hit the guy. Roll me damage.

Rockerboy: *doesn't get through the cyborg's armor*

Me: Oh christ, *rolls again* Okay, Rockerboy. You are in a van that is soaked in blood and gore, there is brain matter on the dashboard, broken glass is everywhere, you just hit a dude. And now there is a massive cyborg on the hood, climbing his way to the broken windshield as he swings the chainsaw hand at you. Roll me cool.

Rockerboy: *fails*

Me: Now there is vomit on your lap while blood and brain is on your ass. Oh, *Rolls for another of the goons* do driving again.

Rockerboy: *Fails*

Me: The passenger side door has another cyborg clinging to it with one arm as he uses the other to carve a big enough opening to get in.

Rockerboy: *Screaming*

Fixer: I use all my luck to shoot the one on the side. *succeeds the shot*

Me: Okay, roll damage.

Fixer: *not nearly enough damage*

Me:...It could be a headshot. Roll location.

Fixer: *gets the arm*

Me: No. it pings off. Are you going to do anything else.

Fixer: I look at my gun, then at the cyborg. And I turn away and walk into the apartment complex

Me: You get a call from your cop friend saying that there are reports of a person with your description going on a psychotic rampage killing tons of civilians, and C-SWAT is on its way. He tells you the time-stamp which is from before the fighting started.

Fixer: I close the door behind me.

Medtech: I roll to do a burst fire at the guy on the side of the car. *succeeds, but doesn't do enough damage to get through the armor unless it is in the head.*

Me: Roll how many bullets hit and their location.

Medtech: *2 hit and they both got the guy's head*

Players: *Silence*

Me: Well, miraculously two of the bullets hit him in the head, carving through his massive amount of cybernetics, and making his head explode across the side of the car before he gets run over by the wheels. Rockerboy, there is even more blood on you.

We had to end it there since it had been about three hours and rockerboy had to go.
 
Holy shit. Player shenanigans aside, this is a hilarious case of everything going to shit. It's amazing.
The ambush was part of the module and was going to happen no matter what.

In the module the regular way it is supposed to go is that there are no vans, and the group just gets immediately ambushed after two random encounters, and no one is supposed to be allowed on the roof of the apartment complex. I figured it made more sense from a tactical standpoint for the vans, which are already a thing in universe, to go down the street like normal. Drivers aren't important to the immoral corporation so they are acceptable casualties, and their deaths give credence to the story they want. Then, once everyone is trying to grab the chips or distracted by the shitload of money they can make, the goons can come down and kill them all.

The corporation wants to get the biker gang out of the area, so having their goons kill the majority of them after the bikers kill the drivers makes sense. In their plan, once the bikers are dead they can just take the chips out of the vans, into some new ones, drive off, and blame the theft on the surviving bikers.

The hacker that is getting tortured is actually a mole for the corporation that was supposed to funnel information to the corporation, but they didn't expect the over the top mob boss to get involved.

Fixer: So, I'm going to have my netrunner friend look into EVERYONE involved that we can learn about *Learns about the hackers* Okay, so I will spend the money to get bugged and explosive rigged cellphones to them all and put a watch on the hacker that is outside the group. I want that insurance money, so the one in the gang that plans on doing the hack can do that, then we can use him to get the money with his friend as a hostage. I'm not telling anyone about the Solo in a hard suit, but I'll make a deal with the Triad friend who got us involved to let him on the roof for the sniping.

Fixer: *Succeeds all the rolls needed to make this happen*

Me: This is going to be fun.

At a minimum, all of the enemies have 20 armor, and the elite goons have 40 armor.

The only way for them to really kill the elites is headshots or good rolls with the grenades or and headshots. Medtech's headshots only work since she has Armor Piercing ammo, and the Solo needs a good roll on his damage on a headshot (He is rolling 5d6 so he needs to break at least 20 on the roll before the damage modifier for headshots) Theoretically it is possible for them to do damage with martial arts, but they'd probably need to grapple them and then start rolling to break the cyber limbs, take the malus to aim for the head, or punch their heads while in the grapple.

But if they get into melee range they have the problem of guys with chainsaws for hands.
 
Ah. So the Fixer made preparations like every discerning Runner should, but didn't quite anticipate the scale of the clusterfuck? And damn, that is some heavy hardware on those guys. It'll be fun to see how they survive this.
Well the Solo decided to start running down the seven story building instead of staying on the roof to take headshots at the remaining cyborgs, and one of the cyborgs is next to the Medtech's APC so she isn't going to throw a grenade at it.

Really, the most interesting thing will be if the rockerboy ends up crashing, or having a monoblade Guitar-Ax vs chainsaw hand fight with the cyborg. He has a higher melee skill than the cyborgs, and it has monoedges, so theoretically he could do enough damage to get through the armor.

...I'd probably let him try to fend it off with the ax while driving, taking a penalty, though the cyborg would also be taking penalties to its attacks since it is also using athletics to stay ontop of the hood.
 
Oh, nice a thread for Tabletop stories huh? Well, here's my first one

So, my friend had gotten the school to approve a tabletop club and for the first time ever I was graced with the chance to play DND with a group of people. I made a fighter named Ragna the Bloodedge who used Greatsword with a shield for later use. We had been tasked with a quest to go into a dungeon and investigate it for the big bad. My DM had hinted that there was some sort of secret passage on the stairwell down to the basement so I had decided on my turn to roll to see if I could find it while walking down it.

Determined to find the passage I took my D20, shook my hands vigorously together and tossed it on the table. The die rolled across the table seemingly about to land on a high number until it slowly flipped over and my anticipation turned to horror as it rolled to a stop on 1. I had critical failed while walking down some stairs to find the passageway.

What happened next is still talked about in my group of friends to this day: My DM narrated that as I walked down the stairs I tripped, smashed my head on the steps, tumbled down the stairs and lose my greatsword before losing consciousness. For the rest of that session, I was carried around while the game went on.

My second story.

I was playing with a different group of friends this time and to my surprise, my friend the DM had homebrewed an entire story for this campaign based around the Shin Megami Tensei universe: Filled with Demons, Angels, Humans, etc. So, some class names were changed and I ended up choosing being called Demon Buster which was just the name of a Ranger Class with the Monster Slayer Specialization. We were trying to get into the underworld part of the kingdom and were being blocked off by a huge Minotaur who wouldn't move and wanted to fight us. I had decided to stealth and do a sneak attack before the fight really kicked off and managed to get a Nat 20 crit while using the Sharpshooter Feat which gives -5 to your Hit but you get +10 to damage if you hit.

I asked my DM how damaged was it and he looked at me with annoyance dancing across his features.

"A third of its health is gone."

And thats how I just about one shot the gate boss.
 
Oh, nice a thread for Tabletop stories huh? Well, here's my first one

So, my friend had gotten the school to approve a tabletop club and for the first time ever I was graced with the chance to play DND with a group of people. I made a fighter named Ragna the Bloodedge who used Greatsword with a shield for later use. We had been tasked with a quest to go into a dungeon and investigate it for the big bad. My DM had hinted that there was some sort of secret passage on the stairwell down to the basement so I had decided on my turn to roll to see if I could find it while walking down it.

Determined to find the passage I took my D20, shook my hands vigorously together and tossed it on the table. The die rolled across the table seemingly about to land on a high number until it slowly flipped over and my anticipation turned to horror as it rolled to a stop on 1. I had critical failed while walking down some stairs to find the passageway.

What happened next is still talked about in my group of friends to this day: My DM narrated that as I walked down the stairs I tripped, smashed my head on the steps, tumbled down the stairs and lose my greatsword before losing consciousness. For the rest of that session, I was carried around while the game went on.
That seems excessive

My second story.

I was playing with a different group of friends this time and to my surprise, my friend the DM had homebrewed an entire story for this campaign based around the Shin Megami Tensei universe: Filled with Demons, Angels, Humans, etc. So, some class names were changed and I ended up choosing being called Demon Buster which was just the name of a Ranger Class with the Monster Slayer Specialization. We were trying to get into the underworld part of the kingdom and were being blocked off by a huge Minotaur who wouldn't move and wanted to fight us. I had decided to stealth and do a sneak attack before the fight really kicked off and managed to get a Nat 20 crit while using the Sharpshooter Feat which gives -5 to your Hit but you get +10 to damage if you hit.

I asked my DM how damaged was it and he looked at me with annoyance dancing across his features.

"A third of its health is gone."

And thats how I just about one shot the gate boss.
Reminds me of using a halberd wielding paladin that has Great Weapon Fighting, Polearm Mastery, and Sentinel.

I was able to kill the majority of rooms without even using Divine Smite. Especially when I rolled well.

DM: *Uses fireball to kill close to all the NPCs that were supposed to help my side in the battle* Well they were unnecessary

And then the Paladin goombastomped the rest of the monsters and planted the halberd in the spine of the wizard as he tried to fly out.

Who then lost all his movement.

And ended up falling to his death from the top of his tower.
 
That seems excessive


Reminds me of using a halberd wielding paladin that has Great Weapon Fighting, Polearm Mastery, and Sentinel.

I was able to kill the majority of rooms without even using Divine Smite. Especially when I rolled well.

DM: *Uses fireball to kill close to all the NPCs that were supposed to help my side in the battle* Well they were unnecessary

And then the Paladin goombastomped the rest of the monsters and planted the halberd in the spine of the wizard as he tried to fly out.

Who then lost all his movement.

And ended up falling to his death from the top of his tower.

I have found that I absolutely love playing optimized builds in DND but I had to try and tone it down since I was making the game not as fun for everyone else.
 
My Cyberpunk campaign has continued to be horrible things happening to everybody.

Mainly with massive amounts of party conflict.

Me: Okay, we need to rewind time a bit so we can figure out how Cop is getting involved. Do you have contacts in the Triads?

Cop: No

Me: Mmm, you are a homicide detective. In the city there has been a lot of trouble with rampages due to a drug, cyberpsychos disappearing, and other weird stuff. You knowing that some of this has been happening here could work. Where do you want to be?

Cop: Can I be on a roof?

Me: Roll streetwise to get a deal on that.

Cop: 25

Me: You can be on the roof opposite of where the others were.

*Long discussion of us reminding Sword that he had decided to run down the stairs*

Sword: I want to shoot out the window

Me: The stairwell doesn't have windows.

Sword: I'll run over to a room that has a window.

Me: You'd have to kick open a door, yell at the people in their, break or open the window and take aim. That is multiple rounds.

Sword: There are people?

Me: Fixer had to make deals so you could get inside of the place with your gun and armor. Anyways, cop roll for initiative. I will assume you've been holding your action. So you can act at the end of the round we did, then do something around the time now.

Cop: I'll headshot shoot the guy on Rocker

Me: You have a minus six due to it moving and you going for a headshot.

Cop: *succeeds and rolls 6d10 for damage* 45.

Me: It is double due to it being the head. So that is over 90

Medtech: he is dead.

Me: His head is mist and Rockerboy. Roll me cool

Rocker: What?

Me: You are sitting in brain matter and blood so your back and butt are gore stained already, the dashboard already had skull fragments and brains, and now there is another set that just exploded all over your face and chest.

Rocker: Yeah

Sword: I'm going to make jokes about you needing a shower.

Rockerboy: 12

Us: No

Rockerboy: yeah

Me: You are vomiting everywhere. Cop, do you want your robodog to do anything

Cop: I'll hold him back

Me: Okay it is gangsters well gangster and Ozone now. The gangster's sandvistan is working now so he gets a bonus to reflex. *rolls melee versus Chain's melee +martial artist block. Chain's dice explodes and he has over 30 on blocking* Chain's adrenal boost is working now so his reflex is boosted even more. He's going to try to grapple *fails* Mach Three Mach lets his big-rip out and he tries to cut the guys' head off *fails* and Julie leaps over everyone to try a flying kick *fails*

Us: *stare*

Me: Okay, so it is the matrix out there. First the guy leaps at chain but Chain blocks it with his insanely armored and skinweaved arm. So it is heating up and sparks are flying. Chain tries to grapple him, but his fist impales into the concrete as the guy jumps off of him. Mach Three Mach speeds in but the guy just slo-mo ducks underneath, then spins around as Julie comes out of nowhere with a karate kick.

Us: *stare*

Me: Okay, and Sword is still running down stairs. So it is Cop

Cop: I go for another headshot *rolls a 1*

Us: *stare*

Me: Roll to see if it jams *6* It isn't jammed. It just destroys more concrete.

Rocker: I will try to get the guy with my ax

Me: He'll have just reflex as his bonus since he attacked a dude and dodged like four people

Rocker: *fails*

Us: *stare*

Fixer: I am going to head to the car and tell Medtech to drive away.

*us talking about who is in what car as there are two vans and Medtech's Russian APC. Eventually we went with Medtech's gangster friends going for the cars*

Medtech: Just let me have a moment. I go up to the guy and punch him twice. *Gets over 45 on the damage for each. has 6d6+15 on damage* *rolls leg and arm*

Me: I'm just going to say those limbs are gone.

Medtech: So he's dead.

Me: No, they were cybernetic. *rolls on survival. He did.* Huh, I'll roll if he somehow manages to keep balance *success*

Medtech: Is this just the Black Knight?

Me: Apparently. I'll just say that Chain starts strangling him. *rolls opposed grapple* Finally an NPC hits.

Rockerboy: I want to stop him.

Me: He has 1 empathy

Sword: He just tried to kill you

Me: Rocker has the highest empathy out of all of you and is the only one who hasn't killed anybody.

*eventually Rockerboy takes off the guy's mask. I roll on age*

Me: Underneath the helmet is a horribly scarred 12 year old boy who looks at you with zero emotion

Sword: Maybe he's just babyfaced.

Fixer: Rocker, get in the car.

Rocker: its a kid.

Fixer: It is a clone. they aren't people.

Me: *rolls on where the kid is from* Okay, Fixer, roll me streetdeal

Fixer: *over 20*

Me: He's a kid from your block. He went missing a few weeks ago.

Fixer: I have them bring the kid into one of the cars, also I intimidate the hacker into getting into my car *over 30*

Me: He is pissing himself as he gets into the back

*more arguing which ends in all the bodies being loaded into the APC so Sword can loot them*

Me: You still have over 15 people so I'll say you can do that.

Fixer: and I activate the explosives in their phones

Me: Wait what?

Fixer: I'm cleaning up.

Me: They've work for the triads for years.

Fixer: Oh, I jumped the gun there. Nevermind. I'll have those diffused later. We need to get rid of these now.

*as the party talks I quickly realize they have no intention of investigating what has been going on*

Sword: I nod to the sniper who helped us

Me: You need to roll awareness to see him, also he is in full SWAT riot gear with a mask

Fixer: He's just our Mysterious Stranger guardian angel.

Sword: *succeeds* I nod to him as we pass.

Me: You get a call from a Fixer's cop friend in C-SWAT to go to the Fixer's bar.

*Moves map over to the bar Fixer owns*

Sword: Why are all the tvs with women on them censored?

Fixer: Just to fuck with people like you.

They ended up calling Rocker's techie girlfriend to look at the corpses and cyberware in Fixer's basement while the others are above

Fixer: I also want them to remove the guy's cyber eyes since those might be recording.

Me: That's easy. *rolls for Techie NPC*, Medtech, can you roll me cyberware?

Medtech: Succeeds

Me: Okay, you notice that all of the corpses have Chipware. Most of it is combat related. But each one has a chip that has been soldered into them. You'd need something like a blowtorch to get it out. And it would be dangerous to remove it from the boy.

Medtech: *succeeds in getting it out, then succeeds a cyberware check as does the Techie to try to figure out what it is*

Me: You aren't sure about the programming behind it, but you are pretty sure this is a mind control chip that lets you use people as drones.

Them:...oh no.

Me: Techie looks at you and asks how many of these you have, and where you got them?

*They quickly figure out the chips they have are the same kind as the mind control chips*

Fixer: We need to wash our hands of these fast.

Me: *making hacking, streetwise, and stealth rolls* Can you guys roll awareness?

Solo: 30

Me: *got 40 for the assassin in the room who has Combat Sneak, over 12 reflex, sneak, cloaking, and cyber legs that increase sneak* You think everything is fine.

*Eventually they are all in the main floor*

Me: So do you walk in Cop?

Cop: Yup.

Sword: Do you have a warrant?

Cop: Yes *lying*

Me: Make a law roll opposed to Sword's int.

Sword: Warrants aren't written in crayon

Me: He is a cop with like 5 in law and a fairly good int. Also he's a cop who has seen warrants.

Sword: *Fails int roll to tell if it is fake*

Cop: I came here to investigate a disturbance

Sword: There hasn't been any disturbances

Cop There was a few days ago

Sword: Aren't you kinda late? Anyways there wasn't one.

Me: Investigations can go on for months. Also like two days ago there was a psychotic man in power armor who destroyed a door and walked in while waving a gun around.

Sword; Nevermind.

Fixer: I have law.

Me: Roll

Fixer: *succeeds* You can drink if you want, but this isn't a real warrant.

Cop: I'll just drink then.

Me: Okay. Roll awareness *all fail against the cyborgs who are cloaked in the room* Well then. After a few moments a guy who looks like Chris Hansen walks up to Cop.

Sword: Chris Hansen?

Me: It is 2020, he's alive. *all check to make sure Chris Hansen is alive now*

Sword: Can I have you're autograph?

Me: He laughs. "Nono, I am Christopher Jonson. Chris Hansen's cousin. I am a private investigator."

Sword: Can I still have your autograph?

Me: Yes.

Medtech: Were we rolling to see Chris Hansen peaking his head out of the corner?

Me: Also Yes.

Fixer: *Discusses on how to get the forcibly cybered child new limbs*

Me: Now then, *does a final hacking roll* Well, all of the screens change to a creepy guy who looks like cyborg Satan
9c52aeacb3c79826986d8d332182915d.jpg

Everyone: *silence*

Me: He smiles and puts his clawlike fingers together. "I am Juju, I believe you have something of mine"

Fixer: ...

Me: Not-Chris Hansen stares and says this looks like cyborg snake-pedo satan

Also Me: Out of character, is anyone in the basement with the bodies and child?

Medtech: Not me

Fixer: So it's just Rocker's girlfriend who is likely to die in a horrible explosion.

Rockerboy: I start playing music

Sword: The chips and kid?

Me: "Why yes!"

Rockerboy: You can hear us.

Me: "I hear many things."

Rockerboy: What do you want?

Me: "Why to help people of course. I help them get the Juju they do."

Rockerboy: Mind controlling people?

Me: "To help people. I'm sure all of you understand cyberpsychosis and how it...makes you lose pieces of yourself. This will help deal with that."

Rockerboy: I destroy the tv.

Cop: So do I

Fixer: *rolling on how many they destroy every round* "What do you want?"

Me: "Well, I would like the chips and child. But I am open to giving you my old toys. But the question here is, What do you want?"

Fixer: I want you to stay away from chinatown.

Me: "Well there are a great many people there, but this is a city of millions. That is agreeable. The rest of you?"

Cop and Rocker: *Still destroying TVs*

Me: "And you my good sir. I must say, with all the good shooting you did earlier I am considering giving you a job!"

Sword: I want 5 million dollars.

Me: All six of his eyes stare at you.

Fixer: The shipment was insured for two million. That is a loss for him.

Sword: I million dollar gun

Me: None of the guns are that expensive

Sword: A good gun, and armor that isn't power armor!

Me: Fixer asks for his people to be protected, and your deal with cyborg satan is a gun and armor.

Sword: A smartgun! One with a tripod.

Me: Your backstory is that your people got shafted by corporate corruption and greed, and you are buying into corporate corruption and greed for guns.

Sword: This helps me.

Rockerboy: *groaning*

Me: "What kind of gun? What company? Arasaka, Militech, Beretta?"

Sword: *excited squeeing* What are those?

Me: That is me literally listing the companies that make guns. "My people have many kinda as well. Shotguns, rifles, smgs, rocket launchers. One even has a flamethrower, he loves it so."

Sword: *more squeeing*

Me: *Knows that me playing creepy cyborg satan should not be this effective* "But for you. Perhaps a Towa Advanced Infantry Weapon. It is a rifle that normally has three round bursts, has a ROF of 45, 100 round magazine. Can be loaded with either a mini-grenade launcher or under barrel shotgun with the rail system it has."

Sword: *increased squeeing*

*after the session we settled on the armor he was getting from selling his soul to satan*

Me: "And I'm sure we could set you up with a wonderful job~"

Sword: *More squeeing*

Me: "And you young lady?" He has basically given up on talking to cop and rockerboy *who are still destroying tvs*

Medtech: I want you to stay away from the bar called Forlorn Hope.

Me: He sucks in his teeth, but relaxes after licking his lips. You can tell that his tongue looks blue and bloodless. "Well, I had such great hopes. The patrons there tend to be combat veterans with so much experience and hardware. Perfect men to have on my side. And so many of them deal with cyberpsychosis, and attempting to get their friends help. Unfortunate. But we can have this agreement."

Sword: *wants more guns and armor*

Me: Dude, this stuff is only worth 2 million dollars and you are asking for way more than that.

Fixer: He already agreed not to go into one section of the city, and not kidnap people who he'd want to take. Calm the fuck down.

Me: "So then, we are in agreement?"

Fixer: Yes.

Me: "Good. You can keep the boy then. You will probably want to defuse the bomb in his heart. Now, remember. If you ever need any more Juju. You know where to call." He signs off.

Fixer: *rolls* and they destroy the last of the tvs.

Group: *Arguing about this. Rockerboy and Cop want to kill Juju, Sword keeps insisting that they should work for him because then they can get what they *read: he* wants, Fixer does not want to be associated with him*

Sword: Nothing could go wrong

Fixer: He is a guy with mind control devices. Everything could go wrong.

Me: By the way, two giant cyborgs decloak. One is a ten foot tall monster, while the other is floating and has lightning hands.

Fixer: Oh, so these are how he was going to kill us if we didn't agree with him.

Me: They start to leave

Fixer: *jokes* They could at least pay their tabs.

Me: The ten foot tall one tosses you a cred-stick with a thousand euro bucks on it.

Fixer: Oh, thanks.

Me: *rolls* Then he grabs Mach Three Mach by the neck, snaps his vertebrae, flings him over his back, and starts walking away as Mach starts sobbing.

*more arguing*

Sword: Wait, he's alive?

Me: Yes. He is permanently paralyzed and being brought into the disturbing dungeon of a dude who looks like a humanoid spider. Likely to be turned into a cybernetic abomination against nature.

Sword: Oh.

Me: Why do you think they dragged him away?

*more arguing*

Sword: Juju seems perfectly trustworthy, the kind of man you could trust your children wi-oh wait.

Fixer: We were just over the fact that he is a human trafficker.

Sword: People do that everywhere.

Me: I am horrified over how quick you are to go work with a guy who is probably a corporate sociopath full of corruption and evil, just so you can get more shiny toys.

Sword: I need to use corruption to beat corruption.

Me: A drone flies into the building with a package. It has the gun and armor in it, along with a signed letter written in cursive script. Complete with a Signature by Juju that includes a heart.

Sword: Isn't he swell.

Me: You do realize that he could hold you down and mind control you?

Sword: That won't happen.

Me: he has at least 2 full body conversions.

Fixer: If you get cyberware from him he is going to put one of those chips in your brain.

Sword: I'll say I just need permission from my doctor

*all of us have a discussion about health care*

Me: Just to be clear, it is unlikely that you would get *options* if you are ever alone with his men.

Sword: It will be fine. *Ends up taking a job from Juju to give him drugs that Biotechnica is likely to dump in Night city despite Fixer saying he doesn't want him associating with the human trafficking sociopath*
And the party conflict got worse
*Game: some of the members are late so we ended up doing some of the players personal stuff first*

Me: Okay, so what are people doing?

Sword: Medtech and I already made a deal to split loot.

Me: Yeah unless you tell me that it isn't a thing in the game. Anyways, you wouldn't get much of the stuff anyways

Sword: Wait what?

Fixer: The cops were coming, I had you guys go before.

Me: You guys threw grenades at the majority of them, one got crushed with a motorcycle, another got hit by a car and exploded with a rifle, and the last was beaten half to death and choke slammed.

Sword: There were ones on the roof.

Me: Yes, on the roof. You guys had to leave.

Fixer: When would we have had the time to get those?

Me: Medtech would also have to make rolls to remove the stuff.

At this point only Rocker was gone and there was a long thing of me trying to make it so the entire group was on the same page and side, in and out of character

That didn't happen.

I also had to repeatedly remind them that they had contacts with people who could help them.

It didn't exactly go well.

Medtech: I'm not going to tell my employers about what is going on *makes and fails some rolls to not tell them shit*

Fixer: I'll save that for later.

Sword: Calls corporate friend and keeps calling Juju's place Juju corp

Rockerboy *when he got there*: Started trying to get the corporate assassin who Cop got to help them to not be a corporate assassin

There was another thing where Fixer got most of the group in the basement *with Sword above to keep watch* and gave the Cop and Rocker information on how to get the shipment if they wanted.

Despite this Rocker was confused when they actually went to go kill the people fixer had told to move the shipment. Sword also had to be reminded that he didn't know about and didn't hear this several times.

Fixer: So can the hacker do the thing to get the insurance money?

Me: *Rolls over 30* Yes

Fixer: I give him a portion of it and tell him he works for me now, the rest get 1/5th each *I had to remind him that Cop did help them with the sniping*

Then we had to repeatedly explain to Sword that he can't look for the drug Juju mentioned as it was not in circulation. He did not react well to the idea that he can't do something *this seems to be a continuous thing as after the game he was talking about how I should just let him do things and plot things without my knowledge despite the fact that this would involve him having to get resources and help in-game. *Sword: Other GMs just said well played and congratulated me*

Sword: *Trying to get Cop to help him with the drug thing Juju mentioned before anything involving that ever happens* Come on

Cop: no, I'm a cop. I am not getting involved in that.

Sword: It will benefit you.

Cop: No

Sword: We'll be heroes and I'll get money.

Cop: I don't think you are getting that I don't want to do this.

Sword: You're Irish right. We can settle this with drinking.

Me: That is super racist

Cop: Do you think that all irishmen are just alcoholics?

Sword: Don't you make deals and all that by drinking each other over the table.

Me/Cop: No!

It became increasingly certain to me that the majority of the players had no intention of ever leaving the bar.

Sword: So I wanted to know if you could give me a place to stay.

Fixer: What? No.

Sword: Well I am working for you and-

Me: You have like a third of a million dollars.

We ended up listing things he could do

Sword: Could you put me in a place?

Fixer: You can live underground.

Sword: Do you have a place?

Fixer: No

Sword: Well the subway is abandoned

Me: No it isn't.

Sword: I thought it was.

me: Why would you think that? This is chinatown not the combat zone. You are in the city proper.

We then went through a bunch of stuff involving Sword trying to get his cosmetic helmet to have in came benefits.

Me: You have to pay extra to have that added to it and that takes time.

Sword: Well what about having one and fusing it with my mask

Me: That also costs extra.

Sword: *eventually just buys a normal helmet.* I'm going to look for a place in the subway that is awareness

Me: No, survival

Sword: *gets an 8*

Me: You find a hole

Sword: *rolls a 14*

Me: You find a utility closet

Sword: It is one of those big 1000 ft places right

Me: You rolled a 14, it is like 2 college dormrooms smooshed together. *rolls* and there is a hobo sleeping there but there is more than enough room

Sword: *Talking about if he should kick him out*

Me: It is a big place, WTF?

Sword: Well I don't want to steal it.

Me: I literally just said it was big enough for multiple people to sleep there.

Sword: *Tries to get the hobo to leave*

Me: He looks at you and goes back to sleep

Sword: *Eventually gets the hint that the hobo isn't leaving and sleeps there after considering murder*

Me: You could literally just live out of an RV. Anyways Medtech?

Medtech ended up going to her workplace and repeatedly deciding to try to obscure the situation from everyone she works with despite them being heavily armed mercenaries.

Medtech: *rolls a 1 on medtech roll to remove stuff from the corpses*

Me: Your boss just stops you before you do anything stupid *rolls Medtech* and towards the end of working on one of the bodies he sees that it is actually a child.

Rockerboy: *apparently missed the fact that the guy didn't know it was a kid and talks about them cutting up kids*

Medtech: We didn't know they were kids, they just jumped us *Repeatedly sticks with the "They just jumped us" story instead of explaining the situation to the people who can help her*

Me: *rolls after Medtech removed the cyberware from the living kid* He wakes up and he is screaming and asking all kinds of questions like "Who am I, where am I, where is this, why don't I have limbs, who are you?"

Medtech: *has awkward ride with an amnesiac kid who has a super buff torso but no limbs and gets back to Fixer*

The crowning moment of this is me mentioning that she'd have to carry him, and that there was very little to hold him by. So she'd need to either cradle him, hold him like a cat, or by the scruff of the neck

Medtech chose the neck

*Long discussion about child sized robot limbs, cloned limbs, spare limbs, and how to get them*

Fixer: Just drive him to a hospital or call an ambulance and say you found him on the side of the road

Medtech: I can do that

Me: With the obvious cybernetics involved they'd probably think he was captured and drugged up while doing some kind of menial labor until his was harvested for parts and thrown out.

Medtech *Takes the child there but gives him a phone he can't hold*

Me: The doctor who comes stares at you, sighs, and says that it would be easier to just give him child sized cyber limbs given the time it would take to clone limbs that size, especially since they don't just have a stash of child sized limbs from corpses or donors.

Cop called his corporate assassin friend (thankfully I had finished the stats for that one the day before) which led to the issue where Rocker was trying to convince a corporate assassin that she was in a morally compromising position. It didn't work.

I had to slowly explain that given the situation it was likely that the original targets of the attacks were the Ozoners and Juju was likely based around their area.

Around this time I said that it was the next day since they came in hours after midnight, and no one seemed to do anything like sleep or leave the bar except for Medtech and Sword (who kept doing stuff like talk as if he was in the bar only to say he was Rocker's conscience. Which no, he really isn't)

Once again I had to remind Sword that he didn't know about Rocker and Cop's plans to steal the shipment

Fixer left and we had a quick combat session.

It took awhile for initiative to be rolled, but the corporate assassin went first. She lopped off the arms of two of the goons and left them to bleed out.

Cop killed a dude with burst fire and had his dog go after the other, but the guy managed to dodge

Rocker seemed very confused at first, then said he would try to be nonviolent. He didn't take any actions though.

Me: Okay, the remaining guy is running at you with a machete, roll melee to parry

Rocker: *succeeds*

Me: are you going to try to hit him,with your held action

Rocker: Yes *gets an explosion with a ten*

Me: Yeah, that guy does not have enough to dodge that roll me damage

Rocker: *Does over 40 damage to the guy's head*

Me: Your ax sinks into his head, splitting it open. He weakly tries to swing at you, but falls over with his brains spilling out.

Cop: Great job, you are a killer now!

Rocker: No

Cop: A killer of justice

Me: Roll me cool

Rocker: *over 15*

Me: You're a good person, you totally are, this isn't your fault

Rocker: yeah, they were dealing with mind control chips

Me: Fixer never told them what was in the shipment

Rocker" I'm not a killer, no matter what the corporates say!

Cop: *keeps calling him killer and talking about justice, then says it was technically self defense and all that*

Me: is this just his start of darkness with you egging him on to do worse and worse things over time now?

Sword: *Once again inserts himself and acts like he is the conscience*

Me: Okay, the assassin gets into the car and asks where it is going.

Rocker: Into the sea

Me: wait what?

Rocker: Into the sea

Me: She nods and drives off.

Rocker: Okay.

Me: Medtech, you get a call from your brother. He says "Thank you for the shipment"

Medtech: *Realizes that the assassin gave the chips to her brother*

They ended up getting Trauma Teams help for the job now. I once more had to make it clear that they actually do have resources to help them drown Juju in bodies.

Medtech also tried to convince her younger brother she wasn't in a gang, failed, tried to get him to go into therapy for his ptsd, failed, and figured that this was going to be difficult given the situation.

Me: Anything else?

Sword: I want cloaking

*long discussion about how it is expensive to get that at any level, the fact that he wants it added to an existing set of armor makes it more expensive and would take time, etc*

Me: Okay, you spend the money for it, it will take time to get it.

Sword: *more talking about wanting to work with Juju*

Me: You get a call from Juju. "It appears I did not receive a shipment*

Sword: *still trying to get into Juju's good graces*

Me: *Tired of this* He hangs up the phone after telling you to get the chips back.

Sword: *upset that the others didn't want to go with his plans* Fine

Me: Roll awareness

Sword: 25

Me: Chris Jonson appears again.

*long thing of me trying to get Sword to understand that working with Juju is a bad idea*

Me: "Your family was laid off, do you think that this technology proliferating would help them? It would only lead to them being replaced by drones or being turned into them"

Sword: *still has bad plan of working with juju or working and double crossing him despite frequent mentions of mind control technology*

Me: Roll martial arts

Sword: Wait what?

Me: He is going to try to punch you, roll martial arts to not get punched

Sword: 6+22

Me: where did you get twenty two?

I repeatedly went over just what his stats were and what was being rolled

Me: You don't add targeting eyes to melee.

Me: Why in god's name would you be adding athletics?

I repeatedly told Sword to stop rolling, but he kept doing it even though I was still going over just what his bonus was.

Sword: It is practice

Me: No, I just said stop rolling

Eventually he threw a fit and called me a bad GM while I showed him what his actual score was, explained that the rolls themselves don't matter since the issue was the bonus, and tried to explain that the rolls issue is due to it being d10s which make it far more likely that he'd either crit fail or crit succeed which would be a problem for anyone.

Rocker: I'd hate to get a 1 on a reroll

Me: That's my point, it is a 10% chance

Me: *around 40 due to a crit for the Chris Hansen expy* He punches you in the shoulder and when his hand comes away there is a red tracer in his hands. "Do not trust a spider"

Sword: I knew that there was a tracker

Me: You never rolled for it.

Sword: I expected it.

Me: *done with his shit* Dude, can you just get over the fact that unless something is said or rolled in game it does not apply?

Sword: *angry* I had plans to betray him

Me: Once gain, multiple full body conversions. They can beat you and force you down to get mind controlled

Sword: That wouldn't happen.

It ended around there with a lot more arguing, Sword going on a tangent about wanting to put someone in a coma, more arguing as we'd previously had stuff like this where it was directed at me, more of him saying I was lying, and things calming down again before he started talking about DnD with things like

Sword: I got all my special abilities because I spent all that time in the mist and kept rolling well. All of you should do that to

Me: We've been over the fact that it can turn people into monsters and all that

Sword: I got dark vision, the ability to speak with everyone, and resistance to lightning

Me: Again, not worth the risk

Sword: Medtech, you should go into the mist

It was essentially a lot of him talking about how we should just let our characters go into the death gas and keep rolling in there while risking death on the possibility that we will get something good instead of die horribly

I'm pretty sure the GM fudged results when rolling for him in there

Then he talked about how in the places he goes everyone thinks my character is the BBEG

Me: Why would you be talking about this right now?

Then it was an argument about the fact that I thought that he was being inappropriate, how he thought I was evil, that I don't bring up my discussions with other people into our chats, and player ettiquette.

This coming from the guy going around talking about how he wants more power, going into evil death gas, and walks around with a cursed sword.
 
I repeatedly told Sword to stop rolling, but he kept doing it even though I was still going over just what his bonus was.
That's... That's unacceptable. Making mistakes when totaling bonuses is, theoretically, understandable, but rerolling without permission is beyond the pale.

Why do you continue to play with this asshole?
 
That's... That's unacceptable. Making mistakes when totaling bonuses is, theoretically, understandable, but rerolling without permission is beyond the pale.

Why do you continue to play with this asshole?
So that he has stories to tell, cementing his position as an elder geek.
Good sessions come and go and are forgotten. But horror stories are forever.
I seriously wish I had more horror stories to tell about gaming groups.
... i should find and subject myself to more bad groups
 
I'll be honest every time that other Sword gets mentioned I do a quick double check to make sure it wasn't me. Can't help it, I'm used to being the only guy going by Sword.
Sorry
So that he has stories to tell, cementing his position as an elder geek.
Good sessions come and go and are forgotten. But horror stories are forever.
I seriously wish I had more horror stories to tell about gaming groups.
... i should find and subject myself to more bad groups
....I wouldn't suggest intentionally doing that
 
During the weekend we had another Cyberpunk Game, sword was not in it so Fixer is controlling his character.

In summary: Rambo firefights in sewers, rocket launcher dogs, and Heavy Metal Album Covers featuring a guy with an ax in combat with a chainsaw handed cyborg over a sea of bodies, tentacles, and sewage.
*lots of both IC and OOC explanations of what happened when Fixer left the game last (before the Cop and Rocker stole the chips)*

Cop ended up living in a more upscale part of Chinatown, we also talked about his partner. A high attractiveness, high empathy Italian-American detective who works hard to take care of his sister who ended up disabled after a car crash when he was in college.

Essentially, we have the incredibly brutal and destructive Cop who always goes around like he is in a war zone while making people piss themselves, and his partner who is easy going, friendly, and persuasive. Also, one mainly uses rifles and billy clubs to beat people, while the other is mainly a pistol guy.

Me: So, you get a call from Juju.

Fixer: Oh Christ.

Me: "It seems that your men stole my chips, again."

Fixer: I don't know what you are talking about.

Me: "Rocker and the Cop."

Fixer: I don't know the Cop, he just showed up.

Eventually, Fixer decided upon trying to delay Juju's retaliation by trying to get information to put him on a false trail. He also learned that one of the Ozoner's got blood-eagled in Chinatown with a message saying "Chained" written in his own blood. (Chain is the name of one of the Ozoners, who is currently the defacto since the other got his neck broken and kidnapped)

Fixer: Well, if it was Chain, then he technically could use his name as a verb.

*Later, once he gets Rocker in his bar and learned some of what happened*

Fixer: Okay, so. You two murdered EVERYONE that was around the truck?

Rocker: Yes?

Fixer: Why did you massacre them all?

Rocker: It was self-defense, also I was high.

It opened up with a sniper shot, a cyber dog trying to rip a person's throat out, and two people being carved apart with a mono-katana before the last one got his head chopped into mulch by an ax

Fixer: *groans* None of the bodies were even remotely in tact. Some of the stuff was in Tupperware containers.

Rocker: It wasn't that bad.

Fixer: and then a Gogo ninja stole it?

Rocker: Yes.

Me: Is that the moment where you walk in with your Arasaka Ninja buddy that has multiple rifles and katanas on her back, Militech Exec Dudebro with a handcannon, and his entourage of full body armor spec ops subordinates who have machine-guns?

Cop: Yes!

Fixer: Dear Christ, I need to put up a sign that says no weapons.

*more explanations about what people do and don't know*

Fixer: We don't even know where to look for this Juju guy.

Me: You currently have a hacker who was working with him tied up in a warehouse...wait, is that guy still alive?

*lots of discussion in which we make it clear who we are talking about as there is Fixer's hacker friend, Rex Nex (the Ozone gang hacker who got forcibly recruited by Fixer), and the corporate hacker who got kidnapped and tortured*

Fixer: Oh yeah. We have him. I didn't kill him yet.

Cop: Well, let's go get the information out of him then.

Fixer: I'll just torture him. My bonus is around +14

Cop: I have 11 cool, 8 in interrogate, and 8 in authority so it is over +25 for me.

Fixer:....Oh.

Me: Yeah, he is a dirty cop.

*more discussion about who to bring into the loop until they get to the torture part.*

Fixer: I am going to heat up ball bearings until they are red hot and then push them through his skin.

Cop: I'll be working him over with my nightstick. It has a taser and mace attached to it.

Me: Okay, roll for torture.

Fixer: Rolls a natural 10

Me:...And the explosion

Fixer: another ten.

Cop naturally got over 30 with his roll, but Fixer's multiple explosions pushed him past 40

Me: Okay, Cop is incredibly skilled and has it practiced to a science, but Fixer is just incredibly creative and bursting with new ways to make this guy's life misery. You aren't certain exactly how Fixer hasn't killed this guy.

I ended up rolling that the hacker knew where Juju had his base, and had a backdoor to his system. Fixer gave that information to his Netrunner friend.

Me: She pauses and goes. "No, that can't be right. Oh, oh fuck. Oh no."

Fixer: What?

Me: "Well, do you know about the Lich Virus? It lets you destroy memories, implant false ones, and stuff like that."

Fixer: Pretty sure every hacker is worried about that kind of stuff.

Me: "It seems like this guy went above and beyond, somehow making a copy of his mind in the form of an AI, and then having it overwrite people. Only three are currently alive, and I can't tell if this includes the original. But he's done it to over a dozen people".

Fixer:...This is a bigger problem than I expected.

Me *still roleplaying the netrunner friend*: "Humanatech doesn't have this technology though. At least, this guy shouldn't. The process is something...no. The last time I saw something that could write this kind of stuff was back in China. The PRC? No, they would have used it more often if they had stolen it after I left Hong Kong."

Fixer: Oh joy.

Me: *not roleplaying* She's going to keep talking to herself for awhile unless you talk to her or hang up

Fixer: That's fine.

Me: She's going to sigh and say, "Well, I need to check some stuff. Hopefully my AI children aren't going to murder you." Then hang up.

Fixer: Well that was a thing.

*discussion about the stuff that would probably be in the place, the money, danger, and so on*

Fixer: Okay, we can either give this information to C-SWAT and let them deal with it, give it to them and then steal the loot through our corrupt cop friends, or do it ourselves.

Me: Given your vast connections in this group and cop friends, you could work with your friend's unit and have it mostly off the books, and call in a lot of help.

Cop: And I have a bunch of friends with guns. *also calling in his PI contact and Cop partner*

Eventually they decided to scout it out. First by entering the sewer entrance.

Me: Well then, as soon as you are around where the entrance should be, all you hear is a woman screaming and sobbing. *Puts on sounds from Left For Dead's Witch* You can't tell exactly where it is from, but you're pretty sure there are speakers somewhere.

Fixer: I am waiting in the car.

Medtech: So am I.

At this point it is just Cop, Rocker, Cop's dog, some of the NPCs, and Fixer controlling Sword's character in the sewer.

Once they get through some poorly constructed bridges and such I roll on who gets attacked and have them roll awareness. They fail.

Me: Well, a tentacle monster bursts out of the sewer water. The screaming woman sounds increase, and the monster grapples Sword.

Much to my surprise, Fixer manages to just barely have Sword not get grappled.

There was a lot of screaming, and eventually we went into detail about what this was.

Essentially, it was a full body conversion where all the limbs were replaced with tentacle limbs, making it so there were essentially 32 tentacles all trying to grapple them.

Fixer; That is a metal gear villain!

Cop: I think it was the octopus one.

Me: Yeah, Laughing Octopus.

Rocker: Is the crying woman inside of that thing?

Me: Yes!

What proceeded was close to everyone throwing grenades, shooting automatic weapons, and firing rockets at the abomination against god, slowly whittling down the tentacles until they scored multiple headshots that barely managed to get through its armor.

Fixer: How does a cop manage to have a salary that lets him have a goddamn robodog that fires rockets out of its side?

Me: Oh, it is actually a weapon that the department has in bulk. The increased intelligence and Machine-gun mounted to it are the modifications. It also comes with armor piercing fangs and a net launcher.

Fixer:...Is this just Judge Dredd?

By that point they realized the kinds of monsters I had down here, so they brought in pretty much everyone but Fixer himself *he was still controlling Sword's character*

Me: Okay, is everyone okay with where the tokens are? Yes? Well, roll awareness.

Fixer rolled poorly for Sword's awareness.

Me: Okay *rolls on who gets lightning punched, then the opposed check to hit, plus damage (it was actually pretty low)* Well, one of the Full Body Conversions decloaks, and his lightning fist just slams into Cop's partner, flinging him across the sewer until he hits the wall with a crack. There is a small crater and it basically looks like he got Chidori'd. *rolls death save, the cop's partner survived*

Everyone: Oh fuck.

Me: And more start coming out of the far end *the 8 ft tall conversion and 3 other dudes with a variety of gear such as rippers for one, and tentacles arms and chainsaw hands. All of them have at least 40 armor.*

Cop ended up unloading an entire clip from his assault rifle into Lightning Arms, *he was at point blank range* but just barely did enough damage to kill him. Also the cyberdog ripped his head off

Medtech fired armor piercing bullets at the other conversion, but didn't do enough damage to get through the armor. Rocker swung at one of the goons but only got one damage through its armor.

Us: Melee is pretty weak without Martial Arts to boost its damage.

But we did get a cool scene in which the fireteam of Militech mercenaries, Arasaka assassin, PI, and Sword *controlled by Fixer* were laying down covering fire. Making it so there was a backdrop of light and bullets flying while Rocker had a mono-ax vs chainsaw arm duel.

The conversion moved to finish off the fallen cop, but Fixer-Solo *using this to better describe it since Sword isn't controlling the character* Punched him before he could reach *we ruled that the enemies had to move slower due to the covering fire*

The punch didn't manage to get through the massive amount of armor, but it got stunned. The Militech Exec ended up running at the conversion and setting it on fire with a flamethrower. It didn't manage to get through the armor, but we ruled that it was dazed as well due to the fire. During his next turn Fixer-Solo swept the conversions legs from under him and unloaded his clip into the conversion's head at point blank range.

Cop ended up doing over 40 damage to the head of the goon that was fighting Rocker, so he essentially ripped the guy's head off. Rocker ended up having to pull Cop away from the brutalized corpse as Cop was essentially playing his character as having gone into a Berserk fury due to his partner being Chidori'd across a room. Medtech managed to stabilize the partner, who had been making his death saves.

The Assassin NPC managed to headshot one of the remaining goons, and the last got grappled by Fixer-Solo (just barely, both he and the goon got 10s on their rolls). Cop and Fixer-Solo kept urging Rocker to kill the grappled goon, but he refused until Juju took control of the goon and started insulting him.

Then we ruled that the backup came in just as Rocker decapitated the goon.

We ended up calling it a night at that point.
 
...That sounds fucking awesome :D
So far, it has definitely been the combat that has had some of the most memorable parts in our cyberpunk campaign

Ex
  • Martial arts using Medtech with hydraulic rams in her arms punching the cyberlimbs off of an enemy,
  • NPC throwing a motorcycle by using super high strength feat and cybernetics,
  • Rockerboy stealing a van to ram a guy only for him to be fending off a cyberpsycho that is trying to chainsaw his face off while riding the hood, and another one trying to chainsaw its way through the side door only to get his head blown off by the Medtech
  • Cop one-shotting the remaining cyberpsycho on the hood of the car
  • Cop repeatedly doing enough damage to make people's heads explode with his nightstick despite having minimal cybernetics (He has high body and martial arts)
  • Fixer-Solo (Fixer using Sword's character) to have a martial arts battle with a giant Full Conversion
  • Everybody peer pressuring (In-character) Rocker to kill people, going far enough to grapple enemies for him to behead them with his guitar-ax
A lot of scenes so far could be Metal Album covers.
 

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