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General chat thread

Reader mode
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I just noticed that my avatar seems disapprove my posting.
Also have some music.
 
Logos said:
I heard through the grapevine that some of their users ripped the archive and are busily constructing a replacement which may or may not be known as tsumino.
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Thank thee kindly, I normally use Nhentai but Pururin felt a lil more user-friendly.
notmi said:
We need more variety in music around here. To many anime grills.
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I hear and obey-

Stop! Jojo ti-
Nanimani said:

No.
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Hmhm, keep doing the good work Nani!


 
Hmmm... rather than contribute to driving another page into lag with more songspam, I'll refrain for now.

While I'm here, I wrote an update for a quest at about four in the morning today. Would anyone be open to help with clearing out the inevitable errors?
 
Bladestar123 said:
Halestorm is amazing
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Halestorm is probably my favorite band. Which is actually pretty notable, because I rarely even like bands with female leads. Halestorm, Icon for Hire, and The Pretty Reckless are pretty much it. Oh, also some of In This Moment's stuff, and some of Evanescence.
 
Someone mind having a look over this for me?

"Remember to lock the back door, senpai!"

"Right, right!"

I hadn't forgotten, of course, hurriedly brushing my teeth as I ran around the back of the house like a headless chicken. I spent just a little too long on breakfast, and now we were slightly late, for a given value of late.

Sakura had archery this morning, but I'm a vaunted member of the 'go home' club. So really, I didn't have to be at school till eight. I used to be a member of the archer club, but, well…

While I say I left to save face, truth is, I got suspended from it and never actually renewed my membership. My bow is still somewhere in the shed, never seeing any use at all.

Sakura was standing beside the front gate as I made my way around, quickly turning and closing the front door.

"Got everything?"

"Yep." Sakura seems a little cheerful, closing the gate behind me as I darted out onto the street and locking it. "When will you be back, senpai?"

"Hopefully? Sometime before nine." I grimace a little at the question. "Work's called me in to do some unpacking, so I might be a little late."

"Right."

"And you?"

"The usual time. Actually, maybe a little earlier, senpai. I'll have dinner waiting for you."

"Thanks."

The usual time. That was more like seven. I'd be keeping Sakura waiting a while.

"Shinji won't be upset?"

"Shinji won't be home tonight. He and grandfather have business to attend to."

"Oh… right..."

That killed conversation entirely. Sakura's voice was quite clipped. It was obvious she didn't want to actually speak about it.

We walked to school in silence. There wasn't anything to say. We see a few students on the way, also heading to their morning practices, but otherwise, the streets are empty.

Mostly.

I'm pretty sure I caught a glimpse of a man with blue hair walking down the street with a fishing pole over his shoulder, but I really have no idea how to react to that. The sales tag was still attached, as if he'd just bought it, but it was far too early for any store to be open…

…

I ignore it. There's no need to worry about it.

We soon reach the school gate. It's a large building, but, well, some parts of it are less then well maintained.

"See ya later."

I begin to walk into the gate, but Sakura doesn't budge.

"Senpai?"

"Is something the matter?"

"No, not at all, just..." She trails off for a moment. "Would you like to come to the archery club? You don't have to pick up a bow, but-"

I shake my head.

This wasn't an unusual request. Sakura asked me once or twice a month, and had for over a year.

"No. Issei asked for some help. Besides, only archers should be in the range."

"R-right..."

I hate myself for the excuse I used. Sakura just bows politely.

"I'll see you later, senpai."

And then she's gone. I just let out a long, heavy sigh as I begin to walk into the main building. The feeling in my gut is intense, and it doesn't seem like it'll settle soon.

I hate that feeling.

Issei is exactly where I think he is, the third floor student council room. I silently open the door and shuffle in, eyeing the man at the table. He's a sharp looking guy, really, but he's rather plain. They say he's popular with the girls, but sometimes I really don't see it.

Especially when he's sitting there with his tea and newspaper. He comes off as a monk when he does that.

"You're a bit late, Emiya." Issei notes, his eyes scanning me. "Slept in?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"You forgot to brush your hair."

Issei was the epitome of order, really. One would have to be to accept the insane job of trying to sort the student council into any sort of working order. Before Issei got his mitts into them, the council was considered just as bad as being part of the go home club.

But seeing him like this, it was questionable if he was working or relaxing.

"Shouldn't the others be here?"

"No. The like to keep to their hours. I suppose that's just part of having jobs, for some of them. For others, that's part of being lazy." Issei retorted, gesturing to a pile of papers a few seats down from where he was sitting. "Unfortunate, but I'll have to sort that out later."

"Oh? Then why the paper?" I point to the newspaper in Issei's hands. He shrugged.

"I suppose you wouldn't know yet. The school is issuing a curfew, starting today." He answered. "Souchirou-sensei asked me to prepare a statement on it for the school newsletter. I was just making sure I had the dates right."

I didn't notice until he pointed it out, but the date on the newspaper was almost two weeks old. He raised a sheet of paper almost melodramatically.

"Right. Seems a bit routine for you, though."

"Someone has to do it. I was the only one here. Souchirou-sensei seemed a bit put on the spot, too."

"Sounds rough."

"Is that pity in your voice?"

"No. Not really." This sort of thing was what Issei liked, after all. The guy was patient like a saint. "What did you need me for, then?"

Issei let out a long sigh, glancing at his paper.

"That's right..."

"You forgot?"

"No. Not really." He echoed my previous sentence. "I had thought to give you a moment after the walk to school, but we don't really have time. You have your tools?"

"Everything I need, yeah." What I didn't have on me, could be obtained from the supply closet. Issei just took another sip of his tea, draining the cup and staring at it's empty contents.

"Well. Follow me." He muttered.

Issei and I were friends, but that doesn't mean he was any less blunt with me then anyone else. In some ways, it was refreshing.
 
I few typos, but most of what I'm seeing are just mis-matched tenses. Not coherent enough to reliably offer critique on the story at the moment, but here's what I did catch.
BlackHadou said:
We see a few
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saw
BlackHadou said:
s are e
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were
BlackHadou said:
here I think he is,
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where I thought he was. (Not actually a mis-matched tense, but for logical flow. If you found him, of course he's where you currently think he is.)
BlackHadou said:
"No. The like to keep
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They (this is the only actual typo I found)

I probably missed some, on account of that I really should have been asleep ~three hours ago, but...
RifY224.jpg
 
BlackHadou said:
Someone mind having a look over this for me?

"Remember to lock the back door, senpai!"

"Right, right!"

I hadn't forgotten, of course, hurriedly brushing my teeth as I ran around the back of the house like a headless chicken. I spent just a little too long on breakfast, and now we were slightly late, for a given value of late.

Sakura had archery this morning, but I'm a vaunted member of the 'go home' club. So really, I didn't have to be at school till eight. I used to be a member of the archer club, but, well…

While I say I left to save face, truth is, I got suspended from it and never actually renewed my membership. My bow is still somewhere in the shed, never seeing any use at all.

Sakura was standing beside the front gate as I made my way around, quickly turning and closing the front door.

"Got everything?"

"Yep." Sakura seems a little cheerful, closing the gate behind me as I darted out onto the street and locking it. "When will you be back, senpai?"

"Hopefully? Sometime before nine." I grimace a little at the question. "Work's called me in to do some unpacking, so I might be a little late."

"Right."

"And you?"

"The usual time. Actually, maybe a little earlier, senpai. I'll have dinner waiting for you."

"Thanks."

The usual time. That was more like seven. I'd be keeping Sakura waiting a while.

"Shinji won't be upset?"

"Shinji won't be home tonight. He and grandfather have business to attend to."

"Oh… right..."

That killed conversation entirely. Sakura's voice was quite clipped. It was obvious she didn't want to actually speak about it.

We walked to school in silence. There wasn't anything to say. We see a few students on the way, also heading to their morning practices, but otherwise, the streets are empty.

Mostly.

I'm pretty sure I caught a glimpse of a man with blue hair walking down the street with a fishing pole over his shoulder, but I really have no idea how to react to that. The sales tag was still attached, as if he'd just bought it, but it was far too early for any store to be open…

…

I ignore it. There's no need to worry about it.

We soon reach the school gate. It's a large building, but, well, some parts of it are less then well maintained.

"See ya later."

I begin to walk into the gate, but Sakura doesn't budge.

"Senpai?"

"Is something the matter?"

"No, not at all, just..." She trails off for a moment. "Would you like to come to the archery club? You don't have to pick up a bow, but-"

I shake my head.

This wasn't an unusual request. Sakura asked me once or twice a month, and had for over a year.

"No. Issei asked for some help. Besides, only archers should be in the range."

"R-right..."

I hate myself for the excuse I used. Sakura just bows politely.

"I'll see you later, senpai."

And then she's gone. I just let out a long, heavy sigh as I begin to walk into the main building. The feeling in my gut is intense, and it doesn't seem like it'll settle soon.

I hate that feeling.

Issei is exactly where I think he is, the third floor student council room. I silently open the door and shuffle in, eyeing the man at the table. He's a sharp looking guy, really, but he's rather plain. They say he's popular with the girls, but sometimes I really don't see it.

Especially when he's sitting there with his tea and newspaper. He comes off as a monk when he does that.

"You're a bit late, Emiya." Issei notes, his eyes scanning me. "Slept in?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"You forgot to brush your hair."

Issei was the epitome of order, really. One would have to be to accept the insane job of trying to sort the student council into any sort of working order. Before Issei got his mitts into them, the council was considered just as bad as being part of the go home club.

But seeing him like this, it was questionable if he was working or relaxing.

"Shouldn't the others be here?"

"No. The like to keep to their hours. I suppose that's just part of having jobs, for some of them. For others, that's part of being lazy." Issei retorted, gesturing to a pile of papers a few seats down from where he was sitting. "Unfortunate, but I'll have to sort that out later."

"Oh? Then why the paper?" I point to the newspaper in Issei's hands. He shrugged.

"I suppose you wouldn't know yet. The school is issuing a curfew, starting today." He answered. "Souchirou-sensei asked me to prepare a statement on it for the school newsletter. I was just making sure I had the dates right."

I didn't notice until he pointed it out, but the date on the newspaper was almost two weeks old. He raised a sheet of paper almost melodramatically.

"Right. Seems a bit routine for you, though."

"Someone has to do it. I was the only one here. Souchirou-sensei seemed a bit put on the spot, too."

"Sounds rough."

"Is that pity in your voice?"

"No. Not really." This sort of thing was what Issei liked, after all. The guy was patient like a saint. "What did you need me for, then?"

Issei let out a long sigh, glancing at his paper.

"That's right..."

"You forgot?"

"No. Not really." He echoed my previous sentence. "I had thought to give you a moment after the walk to school, but we don't really have time. You have your tools?"

"Everything I need, yeah." What I didn't have on me, could be obtained from the supply closet. Issei just took another sip of his tea, draining the cup and staring at it's empty contents.

"Well. Follow me." He muttered.

Issei and I were friends, but that doesn't mean he was any less blunt with me then anyone else. In some ways, it was refreshing.
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Click to shrink...

What kind of feedback are you aiming for? So far, I don't seem to see any issues with it. It's fairly well written to me.
 
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