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"And so, by right of conquest, I take up the title of Santa Claus, and with it, ABSOLUTE DOMINION OVER ALL OF CHRISTMAS!" Vlad announces from atop his mountain of elf corpses. "If there are any who would object to this, please do so now, so that I may kill you."

Can't believe I didn't think of this before:

 
I actually like what you've done with Nero, reminds me of the Charlemagne/Charlemagne divide, Ideal Story servants vs Real Human History servants. That way we can have best of both UmUs.
 
Interlude: Galahad
"Where the Hell is he?" I shout, slamming my fist down on the table, which breaks in half. It's my father's, so I don't really care.

"Galahad, we've looked everywhere. Neither he nor Cursed Arm is in the camp," the worthless deadbeat who sired me mewls, holding up his hands placatingly. I consider telling him to go fuck himself, but then reconsider. After all, this one isn't his fault. It's mine. "Wherever he and Cursed Arm went, they definitely planned this out so they wouldn't alert us to their departure."

Damn it, I should have known he was plotting something! He's always plotting something! And now I let him out of my sight, and he's probably going to die because I wasn't there to save him! Oh God, Mash will be devastated if he dies. (Although only God knows why.)

I mean, I wouldn't shed a tear, but I don't want Mash to be upset.

"We have to find him!" I snap, starting to pace back and forth. "He won't last five minutes without me- us to watch his back!"

"Oh, ye of little faith," a familiar, insufferably smug voice interrupts, and I turn at the tent's entrance to find Flynn doing his best to casually lean against one of the tent poles, a grin on his face. "I'll have you know that I made it out just fine."

He's alive. Oh thank God he's alive.

I rush up and begin inspecting him for injuries.

"Aw, worried about me?"

Good. He's unhurt. I straighten back up and start throttling him. "IF YOU EVER PULL A STUNT LIKE THAT AGAIN, I SWEAR TO GOD, I WILL PUT MY BOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT-"

He starts making choking noises, so I let him go. Mash'd be upset if I actually killed him, after all. "Missed you too, Galahad."

"I didn't miss you. Not in the slightest. In fact, life seemed brighter without the inescapable shadow of your idiocy hanging over me." I help him up to his feet and start brushing him off. "Now WHERE WERE YOU?"

"About." He smirks as I make a garbled cry of rage. "And everything went according to plan."

"Where's Cursed Arm?" Serenity asks, suddenly, and, with a start, I realize that the Old Man of the Mountain is nowhere to be found.

"Dead." Flynn's smile suddenly takes up that ever-so-slightly too genuine quality he always has when he's faking it. Or about to have someone killed.

"How did that happen?" the current Hundred Face rep interjects accusingly, glaring at Flynn.

"We went to negotiate with the First."

Both Assassins freeze, and I'm left confused. Who the Hell is he talking about?

"Ah. I am sorry to have troubled you, then," Hundred Face says, bowing his/her head respectfully. "Will the First be joining us in the assault?"

"Only if things go catastrophically wrong."

"I'm sorry, who the hell is this 'First' guy?" I ask, utterly lost.

"No one you need to worry about," Flynn says, turning to go. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to catch some rest."

I start to protest, but then I notice something that stops me cold.

Flynn's hands are shaking.

I stay silent as he leaves, and Hundred Face promises to keep an eye on him so he can't slip away again.

The only time I can remember Flynn being so rattled he let it show outside of combat was... Solomon.

Whoever this 'First' guy is, he scared Flynn as much as the King of Mages did. And yet he says that he successfully bargained with the guy.

That raises the question, now, doesn't it? What sort of deal did Flynn make?

As I step out from the tent, and stare up at the stars, I can only come to one, horrible conclusion: Flynn did something stupid again.

And then I sigh. I suppose that all I can do is stay by his side, then. I'll keep him alive as long as Mash's body holds out, no matter how much trouble he ends up in. She'd never forgive me if I didn't.

Abruptly, I realize there's someone besides me.

"Sir Lancelot," I say, perfectly civil, already donning a smile as I reflexively draw the comforting façade of the Perfect Knight up around me. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"Ah," he looks awkward, the worthless buffoon. What, did running out on my mother before I was born and never coming back leave you unprepared for dealing with me? Wow, I'm just so damn sorry for you. Jackass. "You know that I'm proud of you no matter what, right? No matter what sort of lifestyle you choose."

"Er... yes?" The hell is he on about?

"Oh, well, good, then." He fidgets awkwardly with his cape. "Um... Flynn seems like a g- like a ni- like a... person. Who I'm sure makes you very happy."

"More like he annoys me to no end." I snort. "Although I suppose I have to concede that he's good at his job, at least."

"Um... well, I suppose that's really just between you and him. And none of my business." Lancelot turns to leave. "I'll just be going now."

I watch his back as he power-walks away. Seriously, what the fuck was that about?

Ah, well. At least that took my mind off of my previous, heavier thoughts. It would seem that my sire is, at the very least, a passable clown, even if he's a shit excuse for a human being.

I turn my back on the stars, and head for my own tent, returning Mash's body to her as I go. I'll need my rest.

After all, tomorrow we begin our march on the Holy City.
 
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At the way things are going, I won't be surprised if Charles gets shanked by his own Servant at ome point. It won't matter that the Servant is known for being loyal or what not, his own actions and words will be enough to make them hate him that after the Grand Order, someone will decide he's not worth keeping around anymore.
 
At the way things are going, I won't be surprised if Charles gets shanked by his own Servant at ome point. It won't matter that the Servant is known for being loyal or what not, his own actions and words will be enough to make them hate him that after the Grand Order, someone will decide he's not worth keeping around anymore.
And that's just if the Association doesn't kidnap him for torture and dissection first!

He only wants to go home, but, to tell the truth, he's completely aware of the fact that he probably won't ever leave Chaldea alive and free.
 
Are Galahad's feelings derived from Mash or original?
He's not romantically attracted to Flynn, if that's what you're implying. But, over their seemingly endless cavalcade of dangers and close shaves, he came to think of him as a friend, even if he'll never admit it.
 
Nice to see an update.

Hope you're doing okay.

I watch his back as he power-walks away. Seriously, what the fuck was that about?

Oh Galahad, you're father accepts many things about you, even if he doesn't fully understand them, and he'll always be proud of you and love you.

You're really lucky you know, a lot of modern day dads can't do that and yet you're father, who's from a time where things like acceptance were little more than pipe dreams of the ones wishing they were accepted, is capable of doing that.

Now all we have to do is wait for him to discover that people think he and Flynn are an item.

Still a better love story than Twilight.
 
"Where the Hell is he?" I shout, slamming my fist down on the table, which breaks in half. It's my father's, so I don't really care.

"Galahad, we've looked everywhere. Neither he nor Cursed Arm is in the camp," the worthless deadbeat who sired me mewls, holding up his hands placatingly. I consider telling him to go fuck himself, but then reconsider. After all, this one isn't his fault. It's mine. "Wherever he and Cursed Arm went, they definitely planned this out so they wouldn't alert us to their departure."

"Ah," he looks awkward, the worthless buffoon. What, did running out on my mother before I was born and never coming back leave you unprepared for dealing with me? Wow, I'm just so damn sorry for you. Jackass. "You know that I'm proud of you no matter what, right? No matter what sort of lifestyle you choose."

Galahad and Lancelot really need some family counseling right now.

Maybe Flynn can be their counselor.

Stranger people have helped families with their issues.

 

Decapitated?

Who the Hell is he talking about?

"I'm sorry, who the hell is this 'First' guy?"

Basically this:



Both versions of death incarnate share the fact that they intimidate the typically unintimitable protagonist in a way which few are capable of.

I'm assuming the meeting went something like this, albeit with more archaic language:

 
And that's just if the Association doesn't kidnap him for torture and dissection first!

He only wants to go home, but, to tell the truth, he's completely aware of the fact that he probably won't ever leave Chaldea alive and free.
What I suspect is that the Association won't even be able to meet him. By the time they get there, the Last Master of Chaldea will have "walked backwards into one of the staff's knife, so tragic you know."

I can imagine that when he manages to beat Goetia, one of the stafd would be waiting for him in the darkness of his room, knife in hand and what is probably a year's worth of resentment.
Basically this:



Both versions of death incarnate share the fact that they intimidate the typically unintimitable protagonist in a way which few are capable of.

I'm assuming the meeting went something like this, albeit with more archaic language:
Best character entrance to date, managing to beat Castiel's own entrance by a large margin.
 
I can imagine that when he manages to beat Goetia, one of the stafd would be waiting for him in the darkness of his room, knife in hand and what is probably a year's worth of resentment.

If his and Medea's little poison game hurt one of the staff members then I can see them trying to kill him for revenge.
 
Fergus is a problem, I won't lie, but he's one I can safely delegate to the Chul Kids

At least he's probably not going on rampages, and the worst they have to fear from him is losing their alcohol supply.

Also potentially seducing the various ladies in Chaldea.

Though I'm not so sure the Chul kids will keep him contained all that much.

They may decide to help him and turn Chaldea into a frat house, albeit with less rape, elitism and racism I'd wager.

He's ridiculously humble, absurdly strong, and basically self-managing. Roman's currently counseling him over what happened with his wife during the Attila Incident, but other than that, he's stable.

Nice to know that he's getting help.

And Roman, as a guy that was married to hundreds of women and probably has some extreme skill in managing a marriage, is a good choice in giving marital advice.

Definitely going to be keeping an eye on Euryale after she nearly killed Cu, though.

I can just imagine her spying on him and planning ways to kill him.

I may need to check up on Boudica in order to ensure that she doesn't freak out over Romulus, and also because I enjoy her company

And she enjoys your company.

Something I'm sure baffles many, many people in Chaldea.

Then again you did practically make her orgasm when you described the fall of Rome to her.

Medusa is also relatively self-contained, or, at the very least, someone I can delegate to Cu

Ah, yes, have Cu fuck her brains out if she misbehaves.

Fairly sound plan.

-Just remembered Paracelsus, but he's working with Da Vinci, and thus probably okay.

Now I want to see a scene about Charlie walking in their lab and being terrified of whatever monstrosity they have created in the name of SCIENCE/MAGIC!

Jekyll and Sanson both continue to fit the rational and controlled professionals trend.

I bet they're helping Caster Cu with his bar when they're most likely not helping in the infirmary.

Jekyll is a brilliant chemist and Sanson was a doctor, so they may be able to make some pretty amazing drinks.

Mata Hari Notes: SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE DID.

AND SHE REGRETS IT.

Caligula Notes: One of these days, I'm going to have to check up on Caligula, end his snipe hunt, and work out some sort of accord with him that can allow for peaceful cohabitation. One of these days.

Just make sure you do it soon and not wait decades for an animated show to make your promise a reality.



Not the most tasteful of jokes, but I couldn't find anything else about waiting to do what you promise to do and had the word 'one of these days'.
 
. "You know that I'm proud of you no matter what, right? No matter what sort of lifestyle you choose."

"Er... yes?" The hell is he on about?

"Oh, well, good, then." He fidgets awkwardly with his cape. "Um... Flynn seems like a g- like a ni- like a... person. Who I'm sure makes you very happy."

"More like he annoys me to no end." I snort. "Although I suppose I have to concede that he's good at his job, at least."

"Um... well, I suppose that's really just between you and him. And none of my business." Lancelot turns to leave. "I'll just be going now."

Oh Galahad, you're father accepts many things about you, even if he doesn't fully understand them, and he'll always be proud of you and love you.

You're really lucky you know, a lot of modern day dads can't do that and yet you're father, who's from a time where things like acceptance were little more than pipe dreams of the ones wishing they were accepted, is capable of doing that.

Now all we have to do is wait for him to discover that people think he and Flynn are an item.

Still a better love story than Twilight.

You know, now that I think about that Lancelot actually may have some experience with homosexuality, so he isn't angry or upset if his son is gay, like how you would expect someone from a more socially primitive society that practiced a religion which condemns homosexuality to be like.

There was this warrior named Galehaut who was apparently smitten by Lancelot and actually called of his attempt to conquer Arthur's kingdom because of his respect, and potential attraction, for Lancelot.

It may have been just a very close friendship, but it wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility that Galehaut was attracted to Lancelot.

He apparently died longing for Lancelot, and Lancelot had his body buried with his.

This explains why he would accept his son being gay.

One of his closest friends was gay.

Or maybe it was just this:



The only time Lancelot or Galehaut were inside each other may have been when they stabbed each other in battle.

Maybe if they summon Lancelot in Chaldea, and he's not a Berserker, then he and Cu can talk about their friend who may have also been their lover.

Some stories about Cu said that he and Ferdiad were lovers when they trained with Scathach.

Granted Lancelot didn't kill his friend/lover by shoving his spear up their ass and having it destroy them from the inside out.

...

Huh.

Now that I think about it, the whole Cu killing Ferdiad by showing his spear through his ass and killing him from the inside out is a very good metaphor for sex and STD danger.
 
Chapter 138
I grin as I look out over our army, marching towards the Holy City.

"An impressive spectacle, eh, Galahad?"

He just nods non-committally, still looking at me as if he's worried I'll vanish the moment he takes his eyes off me. He's been doing that ever since… things happened. Shrine-related things.

Notthinkingaboutit, notthinkingaboutit, nothinkingaboutit.

In any case, the Holy City is now within our field of view. We're getting close, and-

Arash gives us the warning signal, and I turn to Galahad.

"Prepare to block a shot from the Holy Lance."

He nods. "Our glorious homeland, that which heals all wounds, LORD CAMELOT!"

The walls of the shining city rise, and the light of the World's End breaks against them, the shining glare of their clash blotting out the Sun.

And then the glare fades, leaving us all half-blind, and shaken by the realization of how close to death we just came.

"Continue to advance!" I roar. "We don't stop until the Holy City has fallen!"

The rest of the army nods shakily, commanders pulling themselves together and barking orders at their men.

Good. I can't fail. Not yet, at least.

"So." Galahad looks at me with a raised eyebrow. "You never actually told us just how you planned to deal with Gawain. Just said that you knew how to get him out of the way. Since we're, you know, about to go toe-to-toe with him, I was wondering if you'd drop the theatricality and just tell me what you're planning."

Another deflection hangs on the tip of my tongue, but I catch myself. It's Galahad, he's saved my life more times than I can count, he deserves a straight answer. "I'm going to talk him down."

"Gawain." Galahad looks at me incredulously. "You're going to talk Gawain down."

"Same situation as Lancelot. He's too strong to fight head-on without any victory being pyrrhic. Thus, we have to at least try to woo him over to our side."

The new servants I summoned in to replace Cu, Siegfried, and Mata Hari (who we sent back to Chaldea the nonlethal way, to my great irritation) were all handpicked specifically for the fight against the Lion King. If we go up against Gawain, it could leave us fatally unprepared for the fight against the false Arthur.

And I can talk him down. I know that I can. Lancelot, Mata Hari, and Bedivere all pegged him as following out of loyalty alone but disliking the Lion King's actions.

Thus, he can be swayed. He can be won over. I can't fail here. I can't.

"Trust me. He'll come around. Especially when I tell him what I figured out about the Lion King."

"You're not even going to tell me this mysterious discovery of yours, are you? You're just going to find a reason to bail on this conversation, so it's more dramatic when you pull it out of your ass," Galahad says, half amused and half exasperated.

"Well, I was going to tell you, but you just gave me an excellent idea!"

"Yeah, sure I did, you freaking drama queen."

"You know you love it."

"I most certainly do not." He rolls his eyes. "And there's no way I'm letting you talk to Gawain alone. If you're doing this, then I'm going with you."

"I didn't doubt that for a second."

---​

We march on through two more shots of from Rhongomyniad, Lord Camelot's walls unbreakable.

And then, finally, we come to the Holy City's gates. The Holy City's surprisingly under-garrisoned gates. I don't see a single Selection Knight, and there are only two soldiers on the walls.

Right then. "Galahad, have you got the white flag?"

"Yes, although I still think this will be a disaster."

"You always think that." I grin, then add over the mental link, 'Besides, Serenity and Scaevola will be following via stealth. Worst comes to worst, and parley breaks down, I give them the signal and Serenity gives Gawain some sugar, hopefully ending the whole fight before it starts.'

Galahad frowns as begin making our way towards Gawain, flag of parley fluttering in the breeze. 'Why would giving our enemy a sweetener end the fight?'

I can't help it. I start laughing, at least until Galahad lightly punches me in the arm. Lightly by his standards, at least. I still lose feeling in it for a few seconds.

'You're an ass.'

'True.'

'So are you going to tell me?'

'Giving someone sugar is also a euphemism for kissing.'

'Oh. Gross.'

And then Gawain calls out to us, "That's close enough!"

"Sir Gawain." I nod respectfully, looking him over. "We've come to talk."

He looks like shit. In spite of the fact that Servants need no sleep, he still has dark rings beneath his eyes. But more than his apparent exhaustion, he looks… haunted. Like his very soul has worn thin.

"I doubt my king will offer any concessions," he says, trying for polite refusal and only managing 'completely dead inside.' "I think she might just blast you with the Holy Lance and then tell the survivors to go home, honestly. That's what she usually does, nowadays."

"Sir Gawain, are you… all right?" Galahad asks, looking worried. "You don't seem your usual self."

"I don't feel my usual self," Gawain says bitterly. "But I keep my word. It's the only honorable thing I have left."

"We came to parley with you, actually," I interject, trying to steer this conversation back on track. "Will you turn back? It's not too late to do the right thing and stand against the Lion King."

I see it for a moment, a split-second look of hope, of longing.

And then he shuts it away.

"I've come too far to turn back now, Master of Chaldea. And I've done too much to ever deserve redemption." He shakes his head sadly. "Return to your army. I will face you as a Knight of the Lion King. It's all I deserve, in the end."

Right then, time to break out my rhetorical trump card. I smile and, as I turn away, launch my payload. "Very well, then, Sir Gawain. I suppose it's only natural for a son to side with his mother."

He bites. "But-King Arthur is not my mother!" He looks legitimately confused at the thought.

Galahad's already giving me his get-it-over-with look, so I happily comply. "Hm? I thought it was obvious. The Lion King isn't King Arthur. She's Morgan la Fey."

"What." Galahad says, utterly deadpan. Gawain, for his part, is gaping like a fish.

"What, did you really believe that noble and chivalrous Arthur would order women and children killed, merely for the crime of not living up to his standards? Did you believe that generous and beneficent Arthur, who never failed to reward his knights for their loyalty, would treat his best and brightest followers like mere cannon fodder? Did you really think that pious Arthur, beloved by God, would be so blasphemous as to raze the holiest city on Earth and declare himself a god?"

"But- that doesn't make sense!" Gawain finally says, his tone in stark contrast to the hope beginning to creep across his face. "The Lion King has Rhongomyniad, the Sacred Lance! It would accept no master but Arthur!"

"Really?" I deliver my trump card. "And did you ever see Arthur use said lance?"

"No."

"Really, what's more likely: That Arthur secretly had a reusable nuke in lance form that he, for some reason, never used, or that Morgan used her magecraft to create something that would give her an edge? Because I get the feeling that the ability to turn any town you don't like into a smoking crater might've come in handy during your war against the Saxons." I only have circumstantial evidence, of course. But Gawain wants to believe me. He wants to believe that the monster he feels like he's been trapped into following isn't the king he so deeply admired. I did too. It's why I came up with the theory in the first place.

"I… I was wrong." Gawain says it like it's the most beautiful sentence he's ever heard. He's crying now, the tears streaming down his cheeks. "I was wrong. I failed my king. Oh, thank God! I can atone! I can atone!"

I walk up to him and offer my hand. "Will you join us?"

"Yes!" He takes my hand and I help pull him to his feet. "Stand back! I'll make an opening for you!"

Galahad and I both make a strategic withdrawal while Gawain fires up Excalibur Galatine.

"Do you really believe it?" Galahad asks once we're out of Gawain's earshot. "What you told him?"

"I want to. So did he. Sometimes, that's more important than if something's true."

He gives me a look. "I don't think I'll ever really understand you, Flynn." He turns to where the fires of the Sun burn away the walls of the Holy City. "But thank you."

"What's that for?"

"For helping him. Even if it was for your own benefit."

"No problem." And with that said, I give our army the signal, and the invasion begins.
 
"I want to. So did he. Sometimes, that's more important than if something's true."
A combination of believing he's telling the truth and saying it in such a way that's its empathetic. Clever.

Its interesting how for all his tactics and methods he admires and respects the ideals of chivalry and Christianity at its purest, he just thinks it's unfeasible at best and foolish at worst depending on the circumstances.
 
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Gotta ask, are your versions of the heroic spirit the ones that have been influenced by human cognition or more in line with their more historic selves?
That honestly depends. History and human cognition are, on a certain level, inextricably linked. That said, I tend to cleave more towards the original stories and the actual historical facts.
 
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He just nods non-committally, still looking at me as if he's worried I'll vanish the moment he takes his eyes off me. He's been doing that ever since… things happened. Shrine-related things.

Notthinkingaboutit, notthinkingaboutit, nothinkingaboutit.

I first got the feeling that he and Galahad fooled around in a shrine, but then I remembered the thing with the First.

Still, sex and death.

"You're not even going to tell me this mysterious discovery of yours, are you? You're just going to find a reason to bail on this conversation, so it's more dramatic when you pull it out of your ass," Galahad says, half amused and half exasperated.

"Well, I was going to tell you, but you just gave me an excellent idea!"

"Yeah, sure I did, you freaking drama queen."

"You know you love it."

"I most certainly do not." He rolls his eyes. "And there's no way I'm letting you talk to Gawain alone. If you're doing this, then I'm going with you."

"I didn't doubt that for a second."

Oh will they just kiss already.

But seriously nice to see that they're friends.


Is this one of Hundred faces personalities?

'Giving someone sugar is also a euphemism for kissing.'

This may have worked on Nasu Lancelot.
 
That honestly depends. History and human cognition are, on a certain level, inextricably linked. That said, I tend to cleave more towards the original stories and the actual historical facts.

The problem with this is that what we view as the original stories may not really be the actual originals, and histories can become twisted over time due to various factors.
 
I first got the feeling that he and Galahad fooled around in a shrine, but then I remembered the thing with the First.
Only Charlie and Cursed Arm went up to the temple. Cursed Arm didn't come back. Charlie is probably a tad bit traumatized after meeting the closest thing in the Nasuverse to Death. I imagine First Hassan is a lot scarier in person.
 
Only Charlie and Cursed Arm went up to the temple. Cursed Arm didn't come back. Charlie is probably a tad bit traumatized after meeting the closest thing in the Nasuverse to Death. I imagine First Hassan is a lot scarier in person.
The First Hassan is absolutely fucking terrifying in person. And Flynn wakes up screaming in the dead of night at the memory of his meeting with him.
 
The First Hassan is absolutely fucking terrifying in person. And Flynn wakes up screaming in the dead of night at the memory of his meeting with him.

This reminded me of a scene in one of the new Lucifer comics, where Lucifer and John Constantine talk and John insults Lucifer.

Lucifer just turns to him and politely asks him what he is doing and John just says sorry in a meek way.

Now that I think about it Charlie and John both share a lot of similarities.

Both of them are fairly weak, but highly cunning, both of them have gone up against vastly more powerful opponents and won through sheer cunning, both have negative things to say about those in power, both have had some destructive romances, both are assholes.

And both tend to be terrified of one of the most powerful things in their respective universes.

The major difference is that Charlie respects Christianity, while John dislikes it.
 

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