[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[AndrewJTalon]

Weiss: "Honestly, can't we watch something good for once? I'll even take something nerdy and bizarre!"

Yang: "Come on Weisscream, this one has Mitch Von Malibu punch a giant rubber Eel Grimm!"

Jaune: "And his annoying son almost gets eaten!"

Weiss: "No! Just... Something that's actually good!"

Jaune: "Well..."

Ruby: "I have one! It's great! SPACE QUEST!"

Weiss: groans "That nerdy thing? I've never seen it!"

Ruby: gasps "THEN WE NEED TO FIX THAT! RIGHT NOW!"

Nora: "Space Quest? Never seen it!"

Pyrrha: "Same, actually."

Jaune: "We need to fix that! Right now!"

Weiss: "Ugh... Fine. I'll give it a shot."

Three hours later...

Weiss: sniffling "That... That poor Romanican Commander! So diligent in his duty to the end! And that poor ensign, losing her fiance!"

Yang: "So... You liked it?"

Weiss: "I... C-Certainly not! All the special effects are-are cheap! The sets are poorly made! The acting was... Servicable, I-I suppose... But I didn't like it!"

Jaune: "So... You don't want to see more?"

Weiss: "... I didn't say that."

Pyrrha: "I personally like Spock a great deal."

Nora: "Me too! He reminds me of Renny!"

Ren: cocks an eyebrow "I find that most... Illogical."

Jaune: "HAAAA! THAT'S PERFECT!"

Blake: "Now... If we could have Jaune cosplay as Kirk, and them kiss-"

Ruby: "WHAT?!"

Weiss: "Y-You pervert!"

Nora: "Go on~..."

Click to shrink...

Later...

Weiss: "So... They stole his brain?"

Jaune: "Yeah. The producer for this series was from Lost in the Stars, which was more for kids. So they had that kind of feeling for science fiction."

Yang: "That the technology is magical and you can do almost anything with it."

Weiss: "Ridiculous!"

Ruby: "Says the girl with a magical Semblance."

Weiss: "Wha-There are still things I can't do with it! It's not just like some writer has no understanding of how the universe functions is making it do whatever the plot requires!"

There is the sound of something breaking. Everyone looks over at Nora, who dropped a plate of pancakes. Nora sobs.

Nora: "NOOOOO! My pancakes!"

Ren: "Oh dear."

Jaune: "It's okay, it's okay Nora! I'll make you some more! Ren, you just relax."

Ruby: "But the Romanlan episode is next!"

Jaune: "It's cool, I've seen it a dozen times!"

Weiss: "So it's worse than the Spirk's Brain episode?"

After the episode...

Weiss: "That... Was really good!"

Yang: "Yeah, the third season is all over the place. Sometimes it's really amazing, other times it's... Spirk's brain."

Blake: "I like the complex relationship between the Romanlan Commander and Spirk. Lots of nuance."

Jaune: comes in with a plate of pancakes with chocolate sprinkles and whipped cream "Here you go, Nora."

Nora: gasp "YAY!" She takes it and digs in happily "MmmMmmm~! Delicious~!"

Ren: tenses a bit

Jaune: slips him the recipe

Ren: relaxes "I do appreciate the Vulcanians and the Romanlans, and their complex relationship."

Ruby: "I liked the cloaking device the most! So cool! Scotty's my hero!"

Jaune: "Scotty is super cool."

Yang: "And it was hilarious how Captain Irk had to pretend he was insane as cover for the mission."

Weiss: "Not like Bill Hatner could do anything less but chew the scenery..."

Ruby: "MORE EPISODES!"

Jaune: "All right!"

They finish the series...

Weiss: "... So a woman swapped bodies with Captain Irk... To prove she could be a Starship Commander... And was totally insane... And that's the last episode? The series finale?"

Jaune: "Yeeeeah... They were hoping for a fourth season but failed."

Yang: "And it's contradicted by all the future series... But then again, this chick was totally insane so you could just write her off like that. I mean, she was totally bonkers!"

Ruby: "I liked the previous episode as a series finale better! The time travel stuff was great!"

Jaune: "It is good... But... I dunno, Space Quest time travel is weird. I always feel weird about that."

Yang: "Pfft! Relax, Stud!" He sits next to her, and she cuddles up to him "It's not like every film has time travel."

Weiss: "Wait... Films? What films?"

Ruby: "... I KNOW WHAT WE'RE WATCHING NEXT!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Pyrrha: Wincing, twitching after a training mission went bad "Nnnngh...!"

Jaune: "Pyr? What is it? Did you get hit by those bandits?"

Nora: "Come on! There's no way she got hit by a bullet!"

Pyrrha: "N-No... It's not... A bullet... He was a porcupine faunus... And he shot those quills..."

Jaune: "Oh. Since they're not metal... Yeah... So! Where is it?"

Pyrrha: "... In... Ummmm..."

Ren: deadpan "It's in her butt."

Pyrrha: "RENNNN!"

Nora: "....heh.... you said butt..."

Jaune: sighs "All right, come on. I'll treat it."

Pyrrha: brrrriiiiiight red "B-B-B-But-!"

Nora: "That's right, your butt!"

A very embarassing bit of medical treatment by Jaune later... And their arrival at Beacon...

Jaune: "There! How do you feel now, Pyrrha?"

Pyrrha: bright red "M-M-Much better!"

Nora: "You mean... Butt-er? Eh? Ehhhhh?"

Jaune: "Leave the bad jokes to Yang, Nora?"

Yang: "HEY! They are not bad jokes! So, what happened?"

Nora: "Oh! Pyrrha got injured and Jaune-Jaune healed her! He's super good at medicine!"

Weiss: "He is?"

Ruby: "Really?!"

Blake: "Wow. How well trained are you?"

Jaune: "Um, well... My mom was training me to get into Ambrose Pare Medical University."

Weiss: "What?! That's the finest medical school in Vale! You were training for that?! PLEASE!"

Pyrrha: "Jaune is very-very good at medicine! I feel amazing!"

Yang: "Ohhh? What was injured?"

Ruby: "Yeah! You look fine!"

Pyrrha: "Ummm..."

Jaune: sternly "That's confidential information, Yang. She's my patient and teammate."

Pyrrha: relaxes, smiles gratefully at Jaune

Weiss: "Well... At least you're responsible."

Ruby: "So, I guess everything was just fine in the end, huh?"

A pause. Pyrrha turns bright red, as Jaune does too.

Nora: "Pyrrha's rear end!"

Jaune: "NORA!"

Nora: "I'M SORRYYYY!"

 

[SharkCultist]

Here's a fun one and part of the inspiration will be obvious to a good chunk of fanfiction readers.

---

Without the brother gods to feed on it divine/faith energy has been building up on remnant.

Usually this would lead to new gods coming into existence but the brother gods severely fucked up the mana paths of the world so no gods are spawning.

Instead random people are just suddenly becoming Gods. Some of them are fitting. Some of them less so. All of them cause problems.


*Blake sitting on a armchair reading smut. Suddenly a light from the sky falls on her*

???: .praise to be Blake goddess of literature, drama, and tragic romance.

*The spotlight disappears*

Blake:....drama? I'm not dramatic.


*Cut to Ruby playing with Zwei. Suddenly a spotlight shines down on them*

???: bear withness to the birth of the god of heroes.

Ruby: *excited gasp*


???: praise be to Zwei the goodest of boys!



*Cut to jaunes sisters house where she's arguing with her wife. Adrian is watching from his crib getting annoyed and slightly hungry as his eyes lock into his moms chests. Suddenly a spotlight hits him*

???: praise be to Adrian the god of tits and beer!

Terra: the hell?

Saffron: are we being punked? I didn't sign a waiver to be on TV!

*Adrian claps his hands excitedly and both his moms go up a cup size*

Saffron: the hell?!

Terra: oh sweet!