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[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

So, what happens when Ruby and Nora invite Cinder, Emerald, and Neo to Yang's baby shower?

And Sun and Neptune plan Jaune's bachelor party?

Well, Neo is clearly bringing dessert.

I also feel that whatever plan Sun & Neptune make is either going to be a snoozefest, or turn into the Hangover.....

Jaune - "Ugghhh.... What died in my mouth, and what happened last night?"

Neptune - *Scream* "There's a cougar in my room, and it's not Blake's mom!"

Sun - Wakes up on another banana boat headed to Vacuo.
 
Why Jaune Doesn't Use A Scythe
- - -

Ruby was trying to do some work on Crescent Rose at the desk in the RWBY Dormroom. Her beloved weapon had been making a squeaking sound while shifting between forms, and it had been driving her crazy! She had been working very hard, trying to fix it all Sunday.

'Trying' being the key word, as her sister and Weiss argued behind her.

"We should train Jaune in the rapier!" Weiss insisted, "I-I've already had a custom blade commissioned for him! He already uses a sword, that's the perfect method to strengthen his Semblance!"

"HA! Totally transparent, Weiss-cream," Yang shot back, "Jaune as Johnny obliterated a tree with one punch! That's what his focus should be!"

"You just like him because he's as uncouth and brutish as you, dolt!" Weiss growled.

"He also goes around without a shirt constantly," Yang smirked. Weiss's face burned bright red.

"E-Even so-!"

"UGGGGHHHHH!" Ruby groaned, turning and scowling at her teammates, "Can you stop talking about Jaune's Semblance for five minutes?!"

Weiss flushed.

"What? I'm actually trying to help him!" She defended herself. "He's your best friend! Aren't you going to help him with his Semblance?"

"Yeah Rubes," Yang stated with a smirk, "You haven't really said anything, and now you're upset? Why?"

"You did want us to get along, didn't you?" Weiss pressed.

Ruby growled.

"You don't care about Jaune for Jaune! You care about his Semblance!"

"Well..." Weiss shrugged. "He's finally coming into his own, so..."

"And he's gonna need a lot of help with it," Yang pointed out, "Something wrong with that?"

"N-No! But I liked him just fine before he found his Semblance, and now you only like him for his power! That's my problem!"

"Or maybe you're just jealous," Blake suggested, reading her book.

Ruby went bright red. She glared, and picked up Crescent Rose.

"I don't have to put up with this!" She growled. "And I'm not jealous!"

She turned and stormed out, slamming the door shut. She took a deep breath, and let it out as an angry groan.

"Uhhhhhggggghhhh!"

"Hey Ruby. What's up?"

"EEP!"

Ruby jumped, and turned her head to the source of the greeting. She held her hand over her chest, taking deep breaths, as Jaune stood there with a nervous smile.

"J-Jaune?"

"Shh," he shushed her, "Come on. Let's go."

He took her hand and led her off. Ruby followed, confused but complying.

He led her down to a common room in the dorms. Nobody else was around at this time of night, which Ruby was grateful for. Jaune guided her to a table, and she set down her scythe on the table. He sat down with her in two chairs, and smiled gratefully.

"Thanks," he said, "I've been dodging Nora and Pyrrha all day to test my Semblance."

Ruby nodded with a small smile.

"Yeah, Yang and Weiss won't stop talking about it," she laughed nervously, "It's... It's really getting on my nerves."

She paused and paled. She shook her head quickly.

"N-Not that it's not good you have your Semblance!" She said quickly. "I-I mean, that's great! Really, it is!"

"Y-Yeah! I'm... I'm happy, really," Jaune said with a nod. He looked down at the table, and sighed. "Everyone's... Pretty great about it."

"But?" Ruby prompted. Jaune glanced at her, and shrugged.

"Just... I mean..." He sighed. "I'm... Worried. Worried about... About never coming back."

Ruby frowned.

"Jaune..."

"I mean... Yeah, those personalities come from me," Jaune explained, "But... They don't feel like me. They feel like other people. I want to be a Huntsman... A hero, as myself... But if I can only do that as other people, I..."

He shook his head and sighed.

"Makes me feel like I'm... Nothing," he admitted quietly.

"That's not true," Ruby insisted. She leaned against him with a bright smile. "I... I care about you, Jaune. I did before you got your Semblance. If your Semblance is so amazing, it-it's because you're amazing!"

"You-You think so?" Jaune asked, looking over at her with a hopeful smile. Ruby nodded eagerly.

"Yeah! And, maybe the other personalities are just a side effect! One you can overcome! When I first got my Semblance, I threw up after every super speed jump!"

Jaune laughed. Ruby pouted.

"It's not that funny!"

"It kind of is!" Jaune snickered. She pouted harder at him, as he grinned at her.

"But... You overcame it?"

"Of course! I'm not Vomit Girl!"

"Maybe I should start calling you that-"

"Don't you dare!" Ruby gasped. Jaune laughed again, and patted her on the head. She pouted up at him, as he beamed.

"That... That actually helps a lot, Ruby," he said. "Thanks."

"Hey, we-we're best friends, right?" Ruby asked. Jaune nodded.

"Of course we are," he said.

He shifted a bit in his chair. His elbow nudged Crescent Rose, and the huge Sniper Scythe began to slide off the table. Ruby gasped, reached out to catch it-

Jaune's hand reached it first. He held it up, staring intently at it.

"Oh, thanks Jaune," Ruby said with a sigh of relief. Jaune remained silent. Ruby blinked.

"Jaune?"

His eyes lit up, glowing briefly. Ruby gasped.

Oh no! His Semblance! What if he's a crazy grim reaper?! Or a mad killer?! Or a-?

Jaune shifted Crescent Rose into rifle mode (which produced a loud squeak), and pulled it up to his face. He pulled out a pair of goggles from the school workshop, and tapped it to activate the light on the side. He opened up the mechashift control panel and began examining it.

"Jaune?" Ruby tried.

"That doesn't sound right," Jaune muttered. He tapped Crescent Rose's internal mechanisms for a second. "How long has it been doing zat?"

"Er," Ruby began, "About two weeks? After I did a circuit board upgrade."

"Sanux Systems MSB-55, right?" Jaune prompted. Ruby blinked in amazement.

"Yeah! How did you know?"

"You told me, of course," Jaune chuckled, his voice a bit... Strange. He held out his hand. "Tweezers, please?"

"Oh, right!" Ruby nodded. She pulled out her mini-repair kit from her belt, and handed some tweezers to him. "I already checked for any bad bridges or soldering on my own work. I couldn't find any, but I redid it all anyway-"

"And you couldn't get to the original circuit board after sealing ze entire thing back up," Jaune said with a nod. He scooted a bit to the side and gestured to the circuit board housing. "See the air filter holes?"

Ruby stared intently. Her eyes widened as she saw some specks of solder metal falling out or sticking to them.

"Yeah," she muttered.

Jaune picked up one such piece and held it up to Ruby's keen eyes.

"It looks like your solder material," Jaune stated, "But look-Those gaps in them. You would never let so many air bubbles develop in your solder joints."

She scowled. "Oh geez... I got a bad circuit board?"

Jaune nodded gravely.

"Yes. The Sanux Systems MSB-55's had a massive recall for a lot of solder joints with voids in them," he said. "Enough power running through them damages the joints, then breaks them."

Ruby groaned, and covered her face.

"I assumed it was all in working order!" She wailed. "I feel like an amateur!"

"Now now," Jaune said, patting her shoulder, "Zat's not your fault. They're your go to brand, always have been. But they changed their management and clearly, they're producing kludge. Arschlochs, all of zem."

"Wow, thanks!" Ruby complimented him... Then started. "Oh geez... Uh... So... What's your name?"

"Jaune," Jaune said with a smirk, "But if you wish to refer to my current persona... Johann feels right."

"Wait, you're aware you're a different personality?" Ruby asked, astonished. Johann nodded.

"Yes. I think it may be because my focus is on problem-solving, deduction, and technical analysis compared to the others' more combat-focused personalities." He hummed thoughtfully. "Zat, and you are my best friend. If these personas manifest from me as part of my Semblance, then my existing relationships will influence how each persona reacts and behaves."

He smiled at Ruby kindly.

"For instance. The persona with the rapier is charming, charismatic, and hot blooded-All zings we wish we could be for Weiss. The persona with the gauntlets is boisterous, confident, and determined-All things that Yang enjoys."

"Wait, your Semblance is shaping your personas to match with us?" Ruby asked. "Why?"

"Good question," Johann said. He leaned back, tapping his chin. "It may be that we're responding to your Auras. Auras are the energy of the soul and leave a kind of psychic fingerprint on everything we interact with. It could be that my Semblance picks up on zat, and adjusts to fit the Aura remnants. Perhaps to enhance synergy, or to pick up skills from the other-Johnny, for instance, fights in Yang's South Mistralian Kickboxing style, despite us never training in it."

"Oh wow!" Ruby gasped excitedly. "That's so neat! So you're an Aura Chamealeon!"

"Perhaps," Johann shrugged, "Zat is only speculation though. We will need to experiment a great deal to discover all the mechanics of the Semblance."

"Oh, uh... But aren't you afraid of being overridden?" Ruby asked, worried. "That-That is what Jaune was-is worried about."

Johann nodded gravely.

"Yes, it would be a great tragedy," he said, "It will require a two-pronged approach: Reinforcing Jaune's baseline abilities and personality, while also studying what aspects of his psyche our personas are formed from. It is, however, too useful an ability to not train or explore. After all, without it, Weiss may have died."

"Oh, I-I don't disagree," Ruby nodded, "I just... I don't want to lose my best friend."

Johann smiled warmly and hugged her.

"Neither do I," he said. "I will need you for this, Ruby."

"Ah? Eh?" Ruby asked. She gasped as Johann held her shoulders and looked her deep in her eyes, their noses nearly touching.

"Yes. I trust you above all others," he said, "As fond as I am of everyone else? You are... Very important."

"R-Really?!" Ruby squeaked, now turning as red as her namesake. Johann nodded.

"Yes. As much as I care for the others-Pyrrha especially..."

And didn't that make Ruby's heart clench? Though she didn't know why, exactly.

"You were my first friend here," Johann intoned, "I need you."

"N-N-Need me... For what?" Ruby whispered. All of Blake's naughty books she had read in secret began to flood her mind.

Is he going to... Does he... Will he... Take off his pants... Take off my-?!

"To stand by me, and keep me from losing myself," Johann said, "As well as aid me in research, given you do have a scientific background."

He pulled back. She slowly nodded, her cheeks still burning red.

"O-Oh."

He smirked.

"Did you have... Something else in mind~?" He asked, cupping her cheek. Her entire body seemed to be burning up. Hurriedly, she pulled away and scooted her chair to the fair side of the table. Her eyes were locked onto Crescent Rose.

"N-N-No! No! Not at all!" She stammered.

"Oh," Johann shrugged. "Well! Zat's new. Most women seem to develop romantic feelings for me when I use their weapon."

"That-Wha-Who-?!"

"Not zat I'm returning any of zem at this time," Johann said, his eyes going back to Crescent Rose, "Too complicated. Still! Good to know my best friend isn't entirely driven by her hormones."

"I... Um... Er..." Ruby managed a slow nod.

"S-Sure."

"Now, shall we get to fixing your beloved Crescent Rose?" Johann asked with a smile.

"Y-Yeah! Yeah, that would be great," Ruby said, sighing in a mixture of relief and agitation. He smirked again.

"Good! Working on it together... It will be like we're making a baby."

Ruby's entire expanse of pale skin lit up bright red again.

"A-A-A baby?!"

"Well, I'll have to put in a lot of effort, of course," he said, humming with a devilish glint in his eyes, "To catch up, but I'm sure you'll be patient. I won't require punishment to correct my bad habits..."

He glanced up at her and winked.

"Unless you're into zat sort of thing?"

Ruby fainted.

- - -
 
poor innocent ruby...then again its always the good ones that tend to be...scary...when they finally mature and such. Johhan is doing good work in such a thing, especially with the group of Juane's as a council...

its honestly hilarious, though it could lead to a situation like where in puss in boots *DEATH* itself starts taking notice and tests him/them on their will to live and if they are going to play as a immortal...Juane may not be cursed like ozpin, but those personalities can be ego death which is scary as heck.

still though, hapy to see ruby having a wonderful time working with Juane/Johhan on their now improved baby (Crescent Rose).
 
poor innocent ruby...then again its always the good ones that tend to be...scary...when they finally mature and such. Johhan is doing good work in such a thing, especially with the group of Juane's as a council...

its honestly hilarious, though it could lead to a situation like where in puss in boots *DEATH* itself starts taking notice and tests him/them on their will to live and if they are going to play as a immortal...Juane may not be cursed like ozpin, but those personalities can be ego death which is scary as heck.

still though, hapy to see ruby having a wonderful time working with Juane/Johhan on their now improved baby (Crescent Rose).
given what website this is, insert lewd comment about how Death is a woman and wants to test Jaune and his personalities . . . . . in the bedroom!
 
Knightshade Visit 6
- - -

Jaune had had a LOT of weird meals in his day. His Great-Aunt Arturia's 100th birthday party. Saphron's engagement dinner. That time Coral and Verdy found out they were dating the same guy.

(The guy had managed to survive being hit by the flat of Dad's sword, so he had at least gotten dessert before they all beat the crap out of him).

This dinner with Kali, Ghira and Blake though? It was certainly up there.

"You... Remember that time you danced, Jaune?" Blake asked. Jaune slowly nodded.

"Yup."

"You were very impressive," she said.

"Thanks. I uh, I practiced a lot," he said. Blake beamed, and poured him more tea without asking. "Thanks."

"You're welcome!"

It was surreal. Before he came to Menagerie, he could count the number of times Blake smiled and/or interacted with him on one hand. Hell, maybe a few fingers.

Now, she was smiling, forcing laughs, touching him gently and being complimentary.

Jaune had been brought up with good manners, so he didn't jump to his first instinct: To start screaming Blake had been possessed. Or was on drugs. She was still a princess and her parents were the leaders of their nation. He should show some decorum.

"I did some dancing, but not a lot," Blake admitted.

"That's fine," Jaune managed.

"I... You and your team did very well," Blake said with a nod, "You all practiced that dance?"

"It helped with teamwork," Jaune muttered. He didn't know what was going on, but he was trying very hard not to lose it. He wasn't a complete idiot.

He finished his food, and bowed to Ghira and Kali.

"Thank you very much," he said, "I need some sleep please."

"You don't need to ask permission to be excused, Jaune," Kali chuckled, "You're free to leave when you want."

"I can show you to your room-Er, I mean, you know where it is already, but," Blake trailed off. Jaune shook his head.

"N-No... That's-"

"Good idea, Blake!" Kali said brightly. "Guide him to his room! We don't want you having an accident from fatigue, do we?"

Jaune looked over at Ghira with a pleading look. The Chieftain of Menagerie gave him a small smile.

"You should take care, Jaune. You did fight hard today."

"... Sure," Jaune managed.

Which is how he found himself being escorted by Blake. Her arms were wrapped around his. Her body kept bumping against his, so close and warm, especially through her kimono. She kept smiling as much as she could the whole way to his room.

He stayed patient and calm... Before he opened the door ahead of them and ushered them both inside. Blake let him go, and he turned around to slide the door shut. He took a deep breath before he turned around.

"Blake, is everything-?"

His question ended in a choking sound. Blake was pulling her kimono down, staring at him with her intense yellow eyes. He immediately moved forward, grabbed her hands, and pulled her kimono back up to keep her decent.

"Blake, what-what the hell is going on?!"

Blake flushed and looked aside.

"I... I'm sorry, you don't like this?"

"I... Yes? No? Kind of-I just-Why are you acting like this?!" Jaune managed. "You're so different from... It's freaky!"

Blake sighed softly. She bowed her head.

"I... I just..." He slowly looked up into his eyes. "I just wanted to... To make up for how I treated you."

"Eh?" Jaune blinked. "What do you mean-?"

"You..." She sighed. "I was pretty snide to you, behind your back. I never paid you any mind. I didn't pay... I didn't pay anyone much mind-!"

"Blake."

Jaune held her shoulders. Blake sighed softly and closed her eyes tightly.

"... I'm not good at this kind of thing," she murmured. "The... The only way I've been able to show how much I care about someone is... The physical way."

She pressed herself up against his front. She looked up into his eyes, determined.

"Jaune," she whispered. "I... You coming here for me? You going through all that? I-I just... I want to make it right. I want to... To show you that I appreciate you. I... I want to make up for everything I've done... Or haven't done..."

Jaune slowly shook his head.

"You don't have to do anything like that for me," he murmured, "You don't owe me anything. You owe Yang and Ruby apologies, but-"

"And I'll give them that," Blake said softly, "But..." She shakily lifted her hand to cup his cheek. "But... I-I mean..."

She shut her eyes tightly.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, this is..." She tried to turn away. Jaune held her tightly.

"Blake," Jaune said quietly, "We can talk about this-"

"I can't," Blake whispered. "I-I can't! I'm just...!"

Jaune led her to the bed (thinking very hard about anything but that), and sat them both down. He still held her the entire time, as she clung tightly to him. She sighed softly, and avoided his eyes.

"It's all right, Blake," Jaune murmured, "I'm not going to judge you-"

"You should," Blake mumbled. "I... If I hadn't been a coward... If I didn't ruin everything I touched, we-we wouldn't..." She shook her head, and looked up at him.

"Please... I-I just want to forget about it. I want to... I want to do something kind for you. I want to do something kind, something good, anything," she whispered, rubbing her hand over his chest. "This... This is something I can do-"

Jaune took her hand in his, and slowly shook his head.

"Blake," Jaune said quietly, "Listen, okay? You-You don't have to do that. Not if you feel obligated. I don't want that, all right?"

Blake sniffled, and looked down.

"I... I'm sorry," she whispered. She wiped her eyes with her hand. "I-I'm sorry... I-I should go-"

"No! Nonono!" Jaune said quickly, holding her tightly. "No... Look. You've... You've got a lot of issues, right? So, we can talk about it. Right? You listened to me. You comforted me... You don't have to do anything. Just... Just talk to me, okay?"

He shook his head. "You don't have to..." He blushed.

Blake sniffled again.

"I don't... I don't know what I'm doing!" She hissed. "It's just so...! It's all I know how to show affection! You need it, you deserve it-!"

"I don't deserve anything," Jaune stated firmly, "Okay? You don't owe me anything. I'm just the messenger. I'm just the errand boy, the shield, the-"

"STOP IT!"

Blake breathed hard, glaring at him. Jaune's tongue was tied as her eyes blazed.

"You... You keep tearing yourself down! Beating yourself up! Stop it! You don't... You're not the one who abandoned everyone she ever cared about! You're not the one who betrayed her friends! You're not the one who ruined everything she ever tried!" She burst into tears.

"I'm just... I'm just a failure, all right?! I had everything, my parents gave me everything, and what did I do with it?! I-I got used by a terrorist organization and a psycho boyfriend! A psycho threatening to murder all my friends and family if I didn't do what he said! I-I ran away when you all needed me! I'm..."

She sobbed and tried to pull away. Jaune thought had gotten a lot stronger, and he held her tightly.

"I can't... I can't even... You're not even attracted to me," she sobbed, "I'm so pathetic...!"

"No, no," Jaune whispered, "No... You are attractive, Blake. Gods, I... You're not a failure, okay?" He found himself scratching her behind her ears, stroking her hair to calm her down as she wept.

"You've done so much... I might have been executed, okay?" He said softly, "You saved me. You and your family have been so kind to me. So that's a good thing, all right?" He hugged her tightly.

"My dad said... My dad said you're not a failure until you give up," Jaune murmured. "I don't think I'm much of anything... But I... Maybe I'm not a failure if I don't give up. And neither are you, Blake."

Blake kept crying into his chest. He kept stroking her hair, her ears, her back, and muttering anything comforting he could think of.

After a while, she got herself together. While emotionally exhausted, she slowly sat up, and he wiped her eyes.

"I... I'm sorry again," Blake mumbled. Jaune hugged her again.

"Don't. You don't have to tell me that," he murmured.

Blake sighed softly.

"Why are you so kind?"

"You're the one who's keeping a human as a guest in a faunus only city," Jaune tried to joke. She smiled briefly, and let out a small laugh.

"I... Thank you, Jaune," she murmured. She looked aside.

"I'm sorry... For the... Trying to seduce you."

Jaune blinked. He decided to choose his next words carefully.

"Don't be."

Blake stared at him.

Not carefully enough!

"I mean, if I wasn't... Like... Emotionally screwed up, and you weren't crying, I..." He shook his head, "I um... Uh..."

What would dad say? Come on!

He took her hand and looked her right in the eyes.

"I would take you in a manly way. I wouldn't stop until you'd passed out from pleasure."

WHY THE HELL DID DAD EVER TELL ME ABOUT THAT?! WHY DIDN'T I BLOCK THAT OUT DUE TO HOW MESSED UP IT WAS?!

Blake blinked. She then looked aside.

"I uh... You don't have to... Um... I know you're trying to make me feel better, but..."

Oh for...! Why am I so useless with words?! Godsdamnit, I need to fix this, I need to... I need to show her.

Jaune held in a sigh. He leaned in. He cupped her chin between his fingers. He pressed his lips against hers.

Warmth flowed through their connection, and it sent a shock up and down his spine. His tongue licked against her lips, and they parted. Their tongues met, tentatively at first, but then twisting and wrestling eagerly.

It was so warm, so...

Jaune abruptly realized he was making out with the princess of Menagerie right in his bedroom.

He pulled away quickly, breathing hard. Blake too was panting, staring at him with a soft look in her eyes.

"J-Jaune...?"

"I uh... I do know how to kiss," Jaune said quickly, "I-I have a lot of practice. With farmgirls. So I think I'm pretty good at it."

A beat.

Blake blinked... Then snickered a little. Jaune chuckled back.

"We're... We're hopeless, aren't we?" Blake whispered, bumping her head against his.

"Yeah," he said, "But not completely... Right?"

Blake stared at him, and slowly nodded.

"Can you..." She blushed. "Can you keep... Scratching behind my ears, please?"

"Sure," Jaune said softly. She hugged and cuddled with him, as he continued to comfort her.

She actually purred, and nuzzled against his neck. She sighed softly.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"You're welcome..."

- - -
 
Knightshade Visit 6.5
Kali bursts into the room.

Jaune: "ACK! Ah, Miss Kali-!"

Blake: "M-Mom! It's, uh, we're just-I mean-!"

Kali: "Blake. Didn't I tell you that jumping right to seduction was a bad idea?"

Blake: "I..." droopy kitty ears "Yes..."

Kali: "I'm sorry Jaune. She's been through a lot. Don't be upset with her."

Jaune: "We... We both have, it's fine. We didn't do anything-"

Kali: "Well that's all right! Here."

She hands over a well thumbed sex manual over to them.

Jaune: "I... Wha-?"

Kali: "It starts with spooning and cuddling. Page 14 is where it starts getting a bit heated. Don't go past 30 until you've had a lot of practice, all right? I dislocated a rib doing that the first time."

Jaune: "Huh?!"

Blake, looking at the book pages, is turning bright red.

Blake: "B-But Mom, you said-!"

Kali: "I said you shouldn't leap right to seduction! But you should ease into intimacy, because frankly? You both need some. Now, here are some condoms. Here is some massage lotion. Here is some chocolate syrup. I'm going to leave and turn the music in my room with your father waaayyy up! So have fun~!"

She leaves, sliding the door shut... Before sliding it open and poking her head back in.

Kali: "And don't worry about getting knocked up, Blake~! I'm sure Jaune will happily take responsibility and marry you! Right?"

Jaune: "Y-yes! Absolutely!"

Kali: "See? Nothing to worry about. Have a good night~!"

She slides the door shut.

Jaune: "... I uh... Um..."

Blake: "Yeah... Maybe, um... We just... Cuddle?"

Jaune: "Cuddling sounds nice. Totally fine with cuddling."

Blake: "Y-Yeah, me too..."
 
Another Boy's Night Out
I did have an amusing idea where Jaune, Ren, Sun, Neptune and Cardin end up getting a medal from the city for what they did during their night out, while RWBY's normal night antics land them in jail.

Ruby: "THAT'S SO UNFAIR! HOW DID YOU GET MEDALS?!"

Jaune: "We didn't burn anything down? Like, look: We literally saved a children's hospital's staff and patients from burning alive."

Neptune: "Woohoo! Got over my hydrophobia!"

Blake: "Wait, you had rabies?"

Neptune: "Wha-No! No! I don't think I did-?"

Jaune: "While you guys ended up burning down another warehouse to stop the White Fang. Also a nightclub."

Yang: "Oh come on, so you guys saved a children's hospital-"

Cardin: "With an orphan wing."

Yang: "Wait, they have an orphan wing? That's horrible!"

Jaune: "Would have been more horrible if we didn't evacuate them. They're orphans but they're not dead orphans."

Ren: "Dead orphans are much worse."

Ruby: "Dead orphans are definitely worse than live orphans. But still, medals!? I mean, Cardin's a racist bully!"

Cardin: "Well yeah, but I'm not gonna let some poor cute Faunus orphans burn alive, right? Plus, when I said 'Fuck the Faunus'-"

Velvet: "CARDIN! I was wrong about you!" She kisses him "Mmmm! Wanna take me on a date and pull my ears some more?"

Cardin: "... I meant what I said. Later chumps!" Heads off with Velvet

Weiss: "That... What?! That-That aside, Neptune! You're a cad and afraid of your own Semblance!"

Neptune: "Yeah, well... Jaune is a great motivator!"

Flashback

Jaune: "NEPTUNE IF YOU DON'T USE YOUR POWERS TO SAVE THIS CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! STARTING WITH YOUR BALLS!"

Neptune: "Bro-code-!"

Jaune: "BRO-CODE DOESN'T APPLY WHEN A CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL IS ON FIRE!"

Sun: deadpan "Think of the girls you'll get with this."

Neptune: Unleashes his Semblance "I HAVE OVERCOME MY INNER FEARS! WOOHOO!"

The present

Yang: "Okay, that sounds more like Neptune."

Weiss: "Definitely."

Neptune: "HEY!"

Jaune: "But, he did his job, and we saved everyone, and that's why we couldn't bail you out until this morning. Sorry."

Ruby: "Well... I mean, I am proud of you."

Weiss: "I also like how you abused Neptune."

Jaune: "Thanks, I like doing it too."

Ren: "We all do."

Sun: "Definitely."

Neptune: "Again, heeeeyyyy!"
 
more boys night out...they end up saving the day as BRO's and MEN!!! (the man code is respected and honored throughout RWBY world)

while the ladies night out...ends with mass destruction that the BRO's have to solve...its like one massive chase where the bro's are solving the problems with common sense (somewhat applied sporatically), sheer ball's, madness, and manly common sense...aka just fucking around not knowing what your doing half the time but faking it till you make it.
 
Another Boy's Night Out 2
Neptune: "But on that subject: Why do I get shit when we've got a freaking harem protagonist right here?!" points at Jaune

Jaune: "What?"

Neptune: "YEAH! You've got all these damn waifus and you can't just settle down with one like a proper farmboy! No! You gotta be all 'so sorry' and 'I'm oblivious' to all the incredible hotties who want to bang you!"

Jaune: "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Ruby: "YEAH! And even if he was a harem protagonist, I would totally be okay with it!"

Pyrrha: "Same!"

Blake: "I suppose, as long as I got to participate."

Yang; "Harem-what?"

Weiss: "HMPH! I don't like him like that! I just hate YOU!"

Neptune: "SEE?! YOU'VE EVEN GOT A TSUNDERE! YOU DAMN BASTARD!"

Jaune: "I have no idea what you're even on about, man."

Neptune: "ARRRRRGGGGHHHH!"

Neptune seethes a bit and glares.

Neptune: "Seriously though Jaune Arc-IF THAT'S YOUR REAL NAME!"

Jaune: "It is-"

Neptune: "How do we know you're not some... ISEKAI?!"

Jaune: "... What-"

Neptune: "YEAH! You were some loser NEET in another world who got hit with a truck, and sent to our world!"

Jaune: "... Huh?"

Blake: "He doesn't seem the type-"

Neptune: "HOW DOES HE NOT?! He's got some CONVENIENT power up! He didn't know anything about Aura or the Vytal Tournament!"

Jaune: "Wait, how do you know-?!"

Neptune: "Weiss told me."

Jaune: "Why-Why were you talking about me-?'

Weiss: "I just talked to him about how horrible and terrible you were! I was being mean and bitchy and I'm sorry, okay?"

Jaune: "Uh... Thanks-?"

Ruby: "You should be! Don't shit talk Jaune! Jaune's great! He bakes cookies with me!"

Yang: "He gives me massages!"

Pyrrha: "HE WHAT?!"

Jaune: "Look, I was taught how to give professional massages, it's no big deal-"

Pyrrha: "HOW COULD YOU GIVE OTHER GIRLS MASSAGES, JAUNE?!"

Jaune: "Because I like to help people-?!"

Neptune: "AND HE ATTRACTS HOT CHICKS INTO A HAREM! Clearly, you're some weird creepy alien businessman from another world living out your fantasies in ours! MY FANTASIES!"

Jaune: "Dude, that is demented. Look, I knew what Aura was! I just... I kind of panicked, all right? I was bluffing because I... Ya know... Was basically an untrained civilian. As for the Vytal Tournament? To be fair I had been studying my EYES out the night before and paying attention to anything Professor Oobleck says is a challenge!"

Yang: "He's got you there, dork."

Pyrrha: "True."

Sun: "Can't disagree."

Blake: "Mmhm."

Weiss: "Yeah, fair enough."

Ren: "True."

Nora is hugging her plushy sloth that Ren got her, and is in bliss.

Jaune: "So, yeah, I'm not an isekai or whatever."

Neptune: "Oh yeah?! Where are your parents?!"

Jaune: "In North Sanus? Where are yours?"

Neptune: "HA! I'm an orphan!"

Blake: "... That sounds more like an isekai to me."

Neptune: "Wait, what-?"

Blake: "Also he has unusual hair, a unique power only held back by a contrived insecurity, acts like a playboy..."

Sun: "Gotta say, Neptune, that does sound more like an isekai than Jaune."

Jaune: "Yeah. Besides, why would I be the isekai? I've got seven sisters, why wouldn't one of them be the isekai?"

Neptune: "Seven sisters?! That sounds like a damn harem already!"

Jaune: "They're my sisters."

Neptune: "I mean, seven super hot blondes?! This has to be one of those really perverted isekais!"

Blake: blushes "I uh... I wouldn't know anything about those-"

Jaune: "Neptune, seriously-"

Neptune: "How do we know you're not just building a second harem to add to your existing one?!"

Jaune: "... Sun, he is implying I have fucked my sisters. Can I beat him up now?"

Sun: "By all means."

Jaune: "Thank you."

Neptune: "YOU KNOW I'M RIIIIIGHT!"
 
It'd be funny if out all of his siblings Jaune is the only one who ISNT a isekai protagonist/reincarnator.

that's hilarious...and honestly the fact the rest of his sisters are trying to cover it up and live a "Normal Life" despite their somewhat decent power-ups and such...and then realizing their baby brother spent half his life in a hospital...that's an oomph right there. Also, now he is a huntsman...so yeah...

they probably think he is the super protagonist that's going to save the world or something...so who wants to bet the Arc family ends up visiting in this version soon enough due to his sister's insistence to "check up on their baby brother". They also see his harem of course...so they will KNOW he is an anime protagonist.
 
It'd be funny if out all of his siblings Jaune is the only one who ISNT a isekai protagonist/reincarnator.

Turns out Jaunes parents werent overly protective of only him, they tried to do it with everyother sibling but mere quirkiness and strong character of isekai protagonists made it so they gave up trying the same with his sisters.

Or all of his sisters have their own harems (men, females or mixed) and have catched all their love interests, but even if they all consider Jaune as the token cute younger brother capture target, none has been able to actually capture him from how dense he is and from the interference of the other siblings.
Queue in Arc parents being protective of jaune cause his yandere sisters would go ballistic and burn down Remnant if anything happened to him, or the parents being protective in atempt to shield Jaune from his degenerate brocon sisters.

Bonus points if there are sisters that were reincarnated after having tragic life and not trusting men/people (eg. Salter or Jalter from fate) that were won over by the adorkableness of child jaune.
 
There are a lot of blonde Saber's from the Fate franchise, there might even be enough for seven sisters....

Oh boy...considering the amount of saber faces and shitty lives they have had to deal with? even the standard Lancers, Sabers, and the Lily as well as Ruler (both normal and Alter) would probably have some form of angry grumbling at each other...and due to how considerate their youngest brother while not more than familia love, they are definitely all bro-con's. That and potentially enjoying not having to be "kings" or "Rulers" at this point, even if they try to keep their strength and abilities (around where they were alive and not enhanced by their legends) a bit more secret then normal.

that and Juane being the reincarnated version of Proto-Arthur amuses me too much and it makes so much sense...poor guy is trying his best at the most awkward age.

lets hope that no casters or such try to follow that poor boy here.
 
- - -
"Unless you're into zat sort of thing?"

Ruby fainted.

- - -

<Later>

Yang: Hey Vom - Ruby?"

Jaune: *cradling an unconscious Ruby* "She fainted while we were discussing weapons."

Yang: "Oh...okay, just put her on her bed and I'll tuck her in."

Jaune: "Sure, Yang. By the way, have you seen Blake? I'd just like to express how much I find the idea of nine lives absurd."
 
Why Jaune Doesn't Use a Spear
A bit grim, I keep thinking that Jaune with a katana (Blake's ideal) would be plenty nightmarish for Blake. Sure, he'd be brave, straightforward, dedicated to upholding his ideals, steadfastly against injustice, and mercilessly uncompromising.

And he'd also channel Saito Hajime, Wolf of Mibu, and he'd get on fabulously with Ironwood prior to, well, everything going to hell in Volume 8.

Jaune: "First with your parents, then with Taurus, and now with your team...time and time again, you've abandoned everyone and everything for an ideal you barely comprehend."
Blake: *shaking her head in denial and stuttering* "No, I-"
Jaune: "And as if that were not insult enough, you let Torchwick get away with everything he wanted and destroyed that which you should have saved. How can one who seeks to reform the White Fang try so hard to deny what they always have been?"
Blake: "N-no! I've tried! I've tried, damn you, we're not monsters-"
Jaune: "If you truly believe that, then you are a failure even as a Huntress."
Blake: *collapses, shaking* "No, no, no..."

And, Jaune with a spear:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pyrrha stormed into the room, her face a thundercloud. Nora idly peeked over her comic, ready to shout a greeting, before the words died in her throat.

The redhead's crimson locks cascaded down her back in deep carmine waves, her signature ponytail missing. Her coronet was crooked and her armguards were dented, and her sash nowhere to be seen. Nora clapped her hand over her mouth, and stared in disbelief at how JNPR's usually-modest champion was seemingly ignoring how her cracked breastplate barely protected her modesty, each step threatening to dislodge the armor with every generous bounce.

Ren politely averted his eyes and looked over Pyrrha's shoulder, one fine black eyebrow rising at the man behind the fuming Amazon.

Jaune brought up the rear, with his eyes fittingly fixed on Pyrrha's rear. Cockily, he rested a practice spear across his broad shoulders, with Pyrrha's sash around his waist like a champion's belt. His armor was gone, and the shirt beneath it was nothing more than shredded scraps of black fabric. His blonde hair was tousled and askew, and his bare skin was every bit as bruised as Pyrrha's. A cut on his right pectoral was slightly oozing blood.

The smirk on his face was dangerously challenging, and almost lupine.

Ren wisely took a step back as Pyrrha growled and visibly braced herself with her palms against the wall. She glared over her shoulder.

"Just one," she hissed, and held up a finger for emphasis, before thrusting her shapely rump out.

Jaune's smile grew as Nora and Ren both stared, eyes wide and mouths gaping as he raised his right hand.

The loud, throaty, almost moan-like shriek from Team JNPR'S dorm had the sleeping Team RWBY simultaneously crashing out of their beds in unknowing envy.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spear Jaune is cocky, proud, confident, and takes a delighted joy in needling his super-hot redhead partner because she's absolutely gorgeous when she's competitive and/or pissed.
 
Thinking of weapon Jaune and imagined him getting his hands on a police baton. His immediate response is to steal another one and start using them like drumsticks in opponents and his surroundings while everyone else is wondering how the fuck him playing drums is causing a category 5 thunderstorm.
 
A bit grim, I keep thinking that Jaune with a katana (Blake's ideal) would be plenty nightmarish for Blake. Sure, he'd be brave, straightforward, dedicated to upholding his ideals, steadfastly against injustice, and mercilessly uncompromising.

And he'd also channel Saito Hajime, Wolf of Mibu, and he'd get on fabulously with Ironwood prior to, well, everything going to hell in Volume 8.

Jaune: "First with your parents, then with Taurus, and now with your team...time and time again, you've abandoned everyone and everything for an ideal you barely comprehend."
Blake: *shaking her head in denial and stuttering* "No, I-"
Jaune: "And as if that were not insult enough, you let Torchwick get away with everything he wanted and destroyed that which you should have saved. How can one who seeks to reform the White Fang try so hard to deny what they always have been?"
Blake: "N-no! I've tried! I've tried, damn you, we're not monsters-"
Jaune: "If you truly believe that, then you are a failure even as a Huntress."
Blake: *collapses, shaking* "No, no, no..."

And, Jaune with a spear:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pyrrha stormed into the room, her face a thundercloud. Nora idly peeked over her comic, ready to shout a greeting, before the words died in her throat.

The redhead's crimson locks cascaded down her back in deep carmine waves, her signature ponytail missing. Her coronet was crooked and her armguards were dented, and her sash nowhere to be seen. Nora clapped her hand over her mouth, and stared in disbelief at how JNPR's usually-modest champion was seemingly ignoring how her cracked breastplate barely protected her modesty, each step threatening to dislodge the armor with every generous bounce.

Ren politely averted his eyes and looked over Pyrrha's shoulder, one fine black eyebrow rising at the man behind the fuming Amazon.

Jaune brought up the rear, with his eyes fittingly fixed on Pyrrha's rear. Cockily, he rested a practice spear across his broad shoulders, with Pyrrha's sash around his waist like a champion's belt. His armor was gone, and the shirt beneath it was nothing more than shredded scraps of black fabric. His blonde hair was tousled and askew, and his bare skin was every bit as bruised as Pyrrha's. A cut on his right pectoral was slightly oozing blood.

The smirk on his face was dangerously challenging, and almost lupine.

Ren wisely took a step back as Pyrrha growled and visibly braced herself with her palms against the wall. She glared over her shoulder.

"Just one," she hissed, and held up a finger for emphasis, before thrusting her shapely rump out.

Jaune's smile grew as Nora and Ren both stared, eyes wide and mouths gaping as he raised his right hand.

The loud, throaty, almost moan-like shriek from Team JNPR'S dorm had the sleeping Team RWBY simultaneously crashing out of their beds in unknowing envy.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spear Jaune is cocky, proud, confident, and takes a delighted joy in needling his super-hot redhead partner because she's absolutely gorgeous when she's competitive and/or pissed.

I am a bit curious as to HOW Spear Jaune managed to piss off Pyrrha. You'd think she'd be ecstatic to have Jaune spank her, and even more.
 
I am a bit curious as to HOW Spear Jaune managed to piss off Pyrrha. You'd think she'd be ecstatic to have Jaune spank her, and even more.

i think its a combo of both pride, rage, and hot beneath the collar...she let allowed him to get this one victory...and now she is going to come back like a hammer to a skull.

that and the poor girl is thirsty as heck for Juane.
 
I am a bit curious as to HOW Spear Jaune managed to piss off Pyrrha. You'd think she'd be ecstatic to have Jaune spank her, and even more.

Spear Jaune is very good at needling her and pressing those spots she didn't know she had, deliberately goading her into letting loose.

Because she's gorgeous like that.
 
Another Random Idea I Dragon'd Out
dgdptxd-2dacf791-f154-480f-a5ec-e259a7a9550b.png


Jaune: "... Um... Okay... So... I can explain-"

Blake: "You're... You're a faunus?!"

Ruby: "A dragon faunus?!"

Jaune: "NO! I mean, not that there's anything wrong with being a faunus but that's not what I am!"

Pyrrha: "Then... What are you, Jaune? And know that we will never, ever judge you for what it is, because you're Jaune to us and we love you! Platonically!"

Jaune: "Thanks Pyrrha, that really helps and I really appreciate-"

Weiss: "WHAT ARE YOU JAUNE?!"

Jaune: "I'm a dragon."

Weiss: "A... A dragon... Faunus?"

Jaune: "No, just a dragon. Well, part-dragon. As in the magical creature, yeah. My mom's a dragon, and my dad's a human."

Yang: "... So your dad-"

Jaune: "Slew a dragon with his mighty sword, yeah, he's made the same joke for seventeen years, Yang. SEVENTEEN. YEARS."
 
half dragons when powerful enough can utilize actual magic...and hey imagine if Jaune actually became a full on dragon...

oh boy...does this mean Jaunes dad had enough Rizz to actually not only get a DND RED DRAGON as his wife, but also changed her alignment towards true neutral? Man is a LEGEND of a farmer.

still, imagine what puns Yang can pull out, as well as Ruby getting *IDEAS* for her mecha-shift scythe...Weiss will get some form of a idea on proper decorum because a dragon is a hefty ally to have.

Blake? She needs help, like holy christ she needs help.

Pyrrha is basically going to be a bit confused for a moment before realizing she has a type...and jaune hits them all.

what would be more hilarious if his mom was a Demi-Godess of Tiamat, so Grandma wanting to have the kids visit would be a...intresting time.
 
half dragons when powerful enough can utilize actual magic...and hey imagine if Jaune actually became a full on dragon...

oh boy...does this mean Jaunes dad had enough Rizz to actually not only get a DND RED DRAGON as his wife, but also changed her alignment towards true neutral? Man is a LEGEND of a farmer.

The metallics are universally good aligned and blue dragons are sociable and tend to have large family units, despite being evil. Red dragons are the worst of the worst.

what would be more hilarious if his mom was a Demi-Godess of Tiamat, so Grandma wanting to have the kids visit would be a...intresting time.

Then this would go from crack to fantasy horror pretty quickly.
 
Lancaster Dragon Dreams
"Oh boy," Ruby breathed out as she yanked on the black shaft. "Oh boy oh boy oh boy," she continued chanting as more of the beautiful black metal was pulled from the small hill of precious gems and priceless metals, fresh green vines coiling around the shaft where bright blooming roses grew, until she was looking at an elegant scythe shod with carved rubies that blended with the black metal, patterned with roses and boasting a blade black as night. Tears pooled in her eyes as the legend's name bloomed in her mind, the metal singing in her trembling hands.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" a young man's voice piped up behind her.

"Beautiful?" Ruby whispered, her voice quivering; "It's more than just beautiful. It's Crescent Rose!"

She could actually hear the voice shrug, accompanied by a sudden breeze. "It's just a pretty sword on a nice stick."

"Just a sw - you...you...you heathen! Crescent Rose is a masterpiece, a legend...of...." Ruby's voice trailed off as a sudden sense of dread raced up her spine. The cave was empty when she'd come in, empty except for the vast hoard of treasure buried deep inside that no human or faunus could have amassed within a single lifetime. She turned around, slowly, and found herself staring at a forelimb as tall as her house shod in scales as gold as the hoard itself.

The dragon smiled down on her, flashing teeth like scimitars. "Oh, do go on. I just love hearing a thief lecturing me about my own hoard."

The words died in Ruby's mouth. She tried to say something, anything, but being stared down by a monster out of myth drove the thoughts from her mind. A long tail coiled around behind her, blocking the only way out.

"What's yer offer?" she squeaked out, before her mind caught up with her mouth and her eyes widened in horror.

"I'm sorry?"

"Crescent Rose. What's your offer for her?" She slapped her cheeks, trying to make her stupid mouth shut up before she got eaten.

The dragon stared at her. "I...I...Are you serious?" he asked weakly.

Ruby gave up, nodded, and prayed that she'd give the dumb lizard indigestion. What she didn't expect was for a boyish grin to cross his lips, before he pulled out a pair of scrolls, one human-sized and the other...

"You know how to play PokeGrimm?" the dragon asked eagerly, holding up a scroll big enough to clobber her silly.

---------------------------------------------------------

"Eeeee..." Ruby tightened her cloak around her body, one arm protectively shielding her bare breasts as her thighs crossed. She glared at her boobs through teary eyes, her modesty only protected by her cloak, choker and leggings, while the rest of her clothes were piled up next to the beast's forelimb. "Stupid useless sacks of meat!" she chanted, glaring down at the cleavage popping out against her arm.

The dragon actually looked slightly dazed. "Whoa..." he rumbled quietly.

That caught Ruby's attention. She turned her silver glare on him as he politely averted his eyes, the golden scales on his cheeks darkening. "Brute! Bully! Meanie! Cheat!" she shook her fist at him, then shrieked and tried to cover herself up again.

The blue-eyed leviathan gasped in shock. "I'm not a cheat! You just suck!" he snapped back.

Ruby gawked at the accusation, then glared up at the dragon with her hand son her hips. "Nuh-uh! I've never lost a match of PokeGrimm! You're just using your weird dragon powers to cheat!" she shot back, then followed the dragon's wide-eyed gaze to the exposed Ruboobies heaving with every breath. She squealed and crossed her arms over her chest, her flowing cloak mercifully hiding the rest from view, before turning her glare back on the blushing dragon.

The wyrm steeled himself. "Alright, one last game. If I lose, you keep the scythe and get your clothes back."

The silver-eyed Huntress stared at her opponent. "And what do you want if you win?"

"If I win, you keep the scythe and get your clothes back...and I get a kiss."

Ruby felt her entire body slacken. "Whawhawhaaaaa-?!" she babbled, arms waving like a windmill as she gave the dragon a no-holds barred free show.

He inhaled sharply, but soldiered on. "You heard me. I win, you get everything you want, but you have to kiss me...or are you chicken?"

A pair of steely silver eyes was his answer.

Ten minutes later, a blushing Ruby puckered up and closed her eyes, expecting to feel cool scales against her lips. There was a wave of heat and flash of light even through her eyelids, before a pair of strong, calloused male hands cupped her bare ass and lifted her up in the air. Her eyes snapped open as her generous breasts flattened against strong pectorals, her arms instinctively wrapping around a sturdy neck for balance as she stared at a familiar face with tousled blonde hair and bright blue eyes before Jaune crushed his lips down on hers. Ruby gasped and moaned, arching her back and burying one hand in his hair, the other tracing down his neck and shoulder to where the golden scales of his wings seamlessly arose from the skin of his back. She traced her tongue around his draconic canines, teasing the sharp fangs, as he growled and wrestled his tongue with hers, before her hand abandoned stroking his wing and went to the clasp of her cape.

"Leave it on," he snarled into her mouth-

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jaune almost jumped out of his chair in shock when a small hand stroked his exposed wing. The half-dragon stared down at the little Reaper that had spent almost the entire day avoiding him, and now had her fingers tracing the golden scales of his right wing.

"Ooooh, it feels even better in real life..." Ruby cooed, right before she realized who was staring down at her.

It took Yang, Nora, Pyrrha and one of Weiss's Arma Gigas to pull Ruby out from under her covers.
 
Savages!
I'm a bad man.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cardin: "Team RWBY tried to make friends with one and see what's happened to them? Now it's time to avenge our comrades!"

[CARDIN]
What can you expect
From filthy little animals?
Their whole disgusting pack is like a curse!

Their masks' a hellish red
They're only good when dead
They're vermin as I said, and worse

[VALE SURVIVORS]
They're savages, savages

[VELVET]
Barely even faunus

[VALE SURVIVORS]
Savages, savages

[CARDIN]
Drive them from our shore!
They've tried to destroy our city
Which means they must be evil
We must sound the drums of war

[VALE SURVIVORS]
They're savages, savages
Dirty shrieking animals

[VALE SURVIVORS]
Now we sound the drums of war

[IRONWOOD]
This is what we feared
The White Fang are monsters
The only thing they desire is to make us bleed

[WINTER]
Beneath that milky mask
There's emptiness too vast

[MARROW AND FIONA]
I wonder if they even bleed
They're savages, savages

[NEON]
Barely even faunus

[ATLAS]
Savages, savages

[IRONWOOD]
Killers at the core

[WINTER]
They've tried to kill us
Which means they can't be trusted

[IRONWOOD]
We must sound the drums of war

[ATLAS AND VALE]
They're savages, savages
First we bury our children
Then we sound the drums of war!

Pale-faced, Ghira shut the screen. He stared at a horrified Sienna.

"What have you done?"
 

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