[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[Handspan]

So tonight my younger sister has gotten married! Now that I'm resting to recover from this in the ceremony and celebration have some prompts in honor of her wedding.

Much to everyone's surprise Raven was a blushing Bride back in beacon. She really had been quite taken with Vale's wedding traditions.

How do the girls of team RWBY team jnpr act on their respective wedding nights?

To pull off a scam neo marry some hapless fool. Unfortunately for her he wins her over with his dumb puppy ways.

After a local priest gets in an accident Jaune and Arslan after work together to officiate a wedding.

How did each of the arc clan weddings go?

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

Weiss: "... Let me get this straight. Diamond smugglers used a rocket powered surfboard to smuggle their stolen goods... And then it got eaten by a killer octopus... While terrorists held everyone in an airship that was about to explode... While Rich Masterson, aka Dave Hoff, had to give a charity concert?"

Click to shrink...

Penny watches the show too because she's convinced Rich Masterson's car is intelligent......

 

[zMADLAXz]

Spoiler: My Rant About stupid Weapon Physics

You know I was going through the design of Crescent Rose today and accidentally decided to use the Physics I learned in high school and a little bit of Gun design knowledge to examine it a little(big mistake I know).

And I realised that Ruby, my dear girl, isn't a mechanical engineering prodigy, the laws of Physics on Remnant just suck.

Putting THAT much weight on the barrel of a heavy impact sniper Rifle? I mean high precision rifles use thicker barrels to deal with the harmonics of the barrel to prevent excessive vibration and bending(because at those pressures the gun acts more like a slinky than a rigid pipe) so you need to take measures for the timing and the tempo of those pressure waves.

But with how much weight the Scythe has towards the end and how much Ruby swings that bitch around, yeah that gun is pure anime bullshit.

Even Yang's Gauntlets aren't that much better, considering the power behind those shells she fires and the size of Ember Cecilia?

The barrel of that shotgun gauntlet is too small to reliably direct the bullet. Just imagine if you saw off too much of the shotgun, yeah the Gaseous explosion would pack more of a punch but good luck trying to fire anything and reliably hitting anything beyond a yard.

Pyrrha's weapons are better but only marginally so because I am sceptical about the extending barrel whin Milo is in Javelin form.

The Best MechaShift Weapon is surprisingly Qrow's Harbinger, The Shotgun is not connected to the Blade and is of appropriate length, the Blade is segmented so instead of relying on complex mechanics, it's just Curving the segments a bit.

Plus it also allows for 3 modes that all serve a unique purpose.

I didn't count Blake's Kusarigama because it's kind of boring and the ribbon is way more flimsier than the rope and the chains used in traditional Kusarigama

So the main Idea is a mechanical engineer, with his Desktop setup so that he has his precious Designing software and other books or materials he will need, are Isekai'd into Remnant. Specifically Atlas.

Free from a lot of the stupid laws of Physics, Remnant now has to deal with an Engineer with nigh infinite resources, and a dance with the devil.

Join the rest of Remnant as this nerd's wet dream is now the problem of entirety of the population of Remnant, Grimm included.

Atlas Researcher(he looks to the sky): HOW! HOW! HOW is he doing all that?! That contraption is Bigger than Atlas and Firing literal Rocks faster than our fastest guns!

Researcher 2(as she goes throw his designs): Wait, was this kind of weight reduction even possible?! This Submarine weighs less than a squadron Atlesian Knight and can probably Suplex a Leviathan?!

Ironwood: .....Perhaps we should consider his other proposals if this is what he came up with.

Researcher 1(still going through his notes): Wait, what do you mean by splitting the atom? What good is that going to achieve?
Wait, why is he talking about splitting atoms and Smashing atoms at the same time?

Researcher 2: Knowing this guy, he is probably going go for another stupid contraption that probably launches us into the moon or something.

Researcher 1: I need a break.

Researcher 2: And I need a smoke.

 

[Bommel]

Yang: "What? I'm glad! I was afraid you'd end up with Crescent Rose as your boyfriend!"

Ruby: "That's sick and weird, Yang! He's my son!"

Click to shrink...

I always imagined that Crescent Rose would be more of a girl in Ruby's eyes (her mother's last name is Rose, and roses are often associated with femininity in cultural context).

 

[DaJuggernaut]

Ruby if Crescent Rose ever breaks.

 

[Dragon Bob]

So I was thinking about Ironwood and why his heel turn failed and how to do it better.
Ultimately I think it comes down to one big issue, speed. Ironwood goes from reasonable wants to reunite remnant and fight together against the Grimm to abandoning all the poors and hoping Atlas can survive without any food or water imports over about 5 minutes.
Now the best option would be to completely remove the heel turn. Have Ironwood want to defend Atlas at all costs and refuse to retreat. Meanwhile RWBY is trying to evacuate Mantle, Ironwood refuses to help because he wants all soldiers to fight the massive Grimm. The situation gets worse and worse and Ironwood refuses to bend, even when the heroes come up with their escape plan. You can even throw in him ordering Penny killed after she's hacked or Winter to kill the Maiden because they need the fire power. Until someone knocks sense into him and then he orders the army to cover the retreat and goes out fighting Salem.
But if you really want to make him completely insane, and have the same timeline as the original show, you have him start insane. He's lost after the fall of Vale, Ozpin is MIA, his friend Leo has turned traitor and someone from Atlas hacked their robots. He's paranoid and has already turned Atlas into a mostly fascist state. RWBY shows up and slowly figure out how bad things are over a few episodes, then they start trying to get him to do the right thing. Really focus on how unstable he is, his defensive mentally, wild schemes. Meanwhile the Ace Ops and Winter are desperately trying to convince themselves that Ironwood is right, he's charismatic enough that he's lead them down the slippery slope with him, they know his actions are wrong but 'are needed to save humanity'. Him turning on RWBY is him declaring them to be traitors all along, ranting about how Blake is working with the White Fang, Weiss with her father, Ruby must have waited to use her eyes until Vale was already destroyed, and Yang just didn't care. The Ace Ops are conflicted on what to do, until word comes in that Qrow killed Clover and decide that proves RWBY are evil and Ironwood is good, with Marrow being the only one who stays conflicted. Winter meanwhile is desperate to believe that her father figure is right and has been trained to believe in him since she was a teenager. She 'knows' that if they can just get through this disaster Ironwood will understand that Rwby aren't evil and that Ironwood has some plan to still win.

It still wouldn't be great, but it would be so much better than what we got.

The first option would make for a much better story though.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Blake: "What's next? Lifeguards fighting samurai? Or ninjas? Or ninja samurai?!"

Jaune: "Actually, they already had episodes with samurai. And ninja. And ninja samurai."

Blake: "Wait. What."

Yang: "Yeah! Dave Hoff put away a Fuujin crimelord and when he gets out of jail, he comes after Dave to try and kill him and his family! With his team of ninjas!"

Weiss: "... How did a lifeguard put a Fuujin crimelord in jail?"

Yang: "Those kinds of questions don't matter when it comes to Valewatch."

Jaune: "Honestly, asking any more questions than necessary kind of defeats the point of watching it."

Blake: "So... Don't think about it?"

Yang: "Nope!"

Jaune: "Not too hard, or you'll give yourself a stroke."

Weiss: "And so much is explained about you two blond bimbos."

Yang and Jaune: "Hey!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Once again, our heroes are tuning in for another episode of ValeWatch. Even Weiss has gotten into making fun of the stupid show.

Weiss: "Vikings... Frozen Vikings from Solitas. They were in an ice berg, unfroze, and attacked the city."

Yang: laughing her ass off

Jaune: ditto

Ruby: "Ugh... Those axes and swords are all wrong! They're modern Dust refined steel, not forged!"

Nora: "I know right?! My enjoyment of this episode is severely impaired!"

Ren: "More caramel popcorn?"

Nora: "Thanks Renny! I am appeased!"

Weiss: groans "Well at least Pyrrha is in the episode to-"

Pyrrha on screen: "Hey you! Stop that! You Vikings! Are! So bad! I will defeat you!"

Weiss: Stares at Pyrrha "... How many acting classes did you take again?"

Pyrrha: blush "I was nervous!"

Jaune: "Still, this is a great fight scene. You're the best at those, Pyr!"

Pyrrha: "I-Oh, w-well, thank you!"

Yang: "Hmph. I could do better fight scenes..."

Jaune: "Huh?"

Yang: louder "Yeah, that was basically the only saving grace of this show: Cool fight scenes, hot guys and girls, and total insanity."

Weiss: "Wait, was? It was cancelled?!"

Jaune: "Yeah. I'm guessing they brought Pyr on as a desperate hail mary?"

Pyrrha: "Unfortunately, yes. Then they made a spin off set in Menagerie and um... Well that lasted four episodes before being canceled."

Ruby: "I heard the producer got thrown out of a window in his office building."

Stares

Ruby: "He was fine after!"

Nora: "Oh good! That's what I was worried about!"

Yang: "So, you've gotta have all kinds of dirt from behind the scenes, Cereal Girl-Right?"

Pyrrha: "Oh, well... Not really. Mister Hoff was actually very nice. He tried to help me with acting and even gave me advice for a singing career... Which um... I didn't go for. Not fully."

Jaune: "I bet you sing great!"

Pyrrha: bright red "Th-Thank you!"

Yang: scowls "I also sing, ya know."

Jaune: "Oh, I'm sorry Yang. I'd love to hear you sing too!"

Weiss: "I am literally a professional singer!"

Jaune: blinks "But I've already heard you sing, Weiss."

Weiss: "Hmph!"

Jaune: ... Women.

Jaune: "Anyway! Next episode!"

Weiss: "Please tell me this isn't as crazy as the last one?"

Yang: "It totally isn't! In fact, Blake? Stop reading your smut fics and watch with us! I think you'll find it hilarious!"

Blake: "I somehow doubt it."

They watch... And...

Blake: "... Let me get this straight. The Straw Feminist and Faunus Rights Activist who died an episode ago... Is reincarnated as a dog."

Yang: "Eeyup!"

Jaune: "Totally!"

Blake: "... And this episode's writer's other credits include?"

Jaune: "Mostly 'World's Blankiest Blank' kind of stuff."

Blake: "Well, at least they're consistent."

Weiss: smirk "Oh, I am just loving this~."

Blake: "You would, racist!"

Weiss: "Brat!"

Blake: "Sow!"

Weiss: "Hypocrite!"

Jaune: sighs as Weiss and Blake argue "Maybe this was a bad idea."

Yang: "At least it wasn't the Cat People Episode. We'd never hear the end of it."

 

[Rakdos92]

I must've missed it somewhere, but I really wanna know why the studio thought hiring a ring fighter like Pyrrha as one of the show's stars was a good idea?

I mean, it's not like her career was Wrestler or soccer or any other sport that requires acting among other things.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

I must've missed it somewhere, but I really wanna know why the studio thought hiring a ring fighter like Pyrrha as one of the show's stars was a good idea?

I mean, it's not like her career was Wrestler or soccer or any other sport that requires acting among other things.

Click to shrink...

Same reason they put Hulk Hogan into various movies.

 

[Dragon Bob]

Jaune: blinks "But I've already heard you sing, Weiss."

Click to shrink...

I can just see Jaune tilting his head like a confused puppy.

I must've missed it somewhere, but I really wanna know why the studio thought hiring a ring fighter like Pyrrha as one of the show's stars was a good idea?

I mean, it's not like her career was Wrestler or soccer or any other sport that requires acting among other things.

Click to shrink...

They were desperate, Pyrrha was hot and popular.
They probably hoped she would be a good enough actor and the agents hoped they could turn it into an acting career.

 

[Dragon Bob]

Same reason they put Hulk Hogan into various movies.

Click to shrink...

The difference is Hulk Hogan was already an actor, wrestling is basically a form of Play, one with more physical requirements and improvisation than a standard play, but not just a sport. Terry Bollea was a great actor, just he specialized in a very specific form of acting.

 

[Bommel]

I must've missed it somewhere, but I really wanna know why the studio thought hiring a ring fighter like Pyrrha as one of the show's stars was a good idea?

I mean, it's not like her career was Wrestler or soccer or any other sport that requires acting among other things.

Click to shrink...

The answer is cocaine, lots and lots of cocaine is why they thought that was a good idea.

Clearly the writers were already on the stuff, so why not most if not all of the higher-ups of the studio (given how long the show was on and popular, it was clearly working for quite a while).

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

Jaune: "Anyway! Next episode!"

Click to shrink...

It's revealed Pyrrha is actually an alien, and must return to her home planet!

 

[DaJuggernaut]

Pyrrha: I must go, my planet needs me. (Proceeds to badly clip upwards out of frame)

 

[Rakdos92]

Pyrrha: I must go, my planet needs me. (Proceeds to badly clip upwards out of frame)

Click to shrink...

Jaune: Why didn't they use these rope things you see in Mistrian movies and theatres to pull you up? Or you use your Polarity and some metal shoes to lift yourself up?

 

[zMADLAXz]

And ninja samurai.

Click to shrink...

I almost had a brain aneurysm.

What next? The Ronin Shogun? The Demon Angel? The Horny Asexual? The Good Billionaire?

These movies are getting out of hand day by day.

 

[Sir Borks-a-Lot]

I almost had a brain aneurysm.

What next? The Ronin Shogun? The Demon Angel? The Horny Asexual? The Good Billionaire?

These movies are getting out of hand day by day.

Click to shrink...

Even less believable.

The Honest Politician.

 

[NightDranzer]

The Honest Politician.

Click to shrink...

if you want a honest politician, elect a comedian.....

.....and I do mean comedian, not a fucking clown.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

I almost had a brain aneurysm.

What next? The Ronin Shogun? The Demon Angel? The Horny Asexual? The Good Billionaire?

These movies are getting out of hand day by day.

Click to shrink...

Again, I'm taking inspiration from Baywatch which ran for 11 seasons and was the most watched TV in human history. Not because it was good, because... It wasn't. But it was hilarious and had plenty of sexy T&A before internet porn became big. Rewatching it... It is so baffling terrible and ridiculous it goes back around to AMAZING.

This show has lifeguards deal with terrorists, jewel thieves, ninjas, samurai, ghosts, aliens, gangsters, reincarnation, the Beach Boys, sea witches, psychics, mermaids, sharks, toxic waste, sea monsters-You name it. It is the most baffling and ridiculous show ever that stayed on the air for 11 years, never once getting nominated for an Emmy despite an entire season of shows that were Emmy Bait. It had Shang Tsun's actor as a Yakuza gangster fighting David Hasselhoff with a katana! That is one of the LEAST insane parts of the show!

And since the pop culture of Remnant should be its own creature since it is not our world, I say that there is a show that's been running forever despite how absolutely insane and ridiculous it is. Mainly thanks to all the hot and charismatic people on it, the sheer absurdity, and the soap opera drama. And maybe the fight scenes since actual Hunters are on the cast.


View: https://youtu.be/ShW0VuR2U-E?list=PLzSaABvhwN1NVzkxm86VLsslYmThKtVu0

Heavily inspired by the Baywatching series, which is part silly review, part abridged series of Baywatch. Trust me, it is THAT bonkers.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Sage Ayana has the Semblance of Psychometry.

Sage: "Jaune. May I examine your sword?"

Jaune: "Hm? Oh, sure."

Sage: "I like to try my Semblance on older weapons, and since yours is the oldest one here, I think it would be a unique experience."

Jaune: "Er... Sure."

Sage touches Crocea Mors. His Semblance activates and he hums thoughtfully.

Sage: "... Huh. Shirou, your great-grandfather, killed a LOT of soldiers with this."

Jaune: "Oh yeah. A lot."

Sage: "So did your great-great grandfather. And a lot of Grimm."

Jaune: "Uh huh...?"

Sage: "On many battlefields. Impressive... I am seeing the Battles of Camelot, Camlenn, Argus, the siege of Mantle..."

Jaune: "That's incredible!"

Sage: "... Your Nana was quite attractive. Like, REALLY attractive. How were those things real? Wow, she was just the hottest-"

Jaune: takes his sword back "Okay, that's enough of that."

Sage: clears his throat "Sorry about that."

 

[Bommel]

Sage: "... Huh. Shirou, your great-grandfather, killed a LOT of soldiers with this."

Jaune: "Oh yeah. A lot."

Sage: "So did your great-great grandfather. And a lot of Grimm."

Jaune: "Uh huh...?"

Sage: "On many battlefields. Impressive... I am seeing the Battles of Camelot, Camlenn, Argus, the siege of Mantle..."

Click to shrink...

Jaune: "Yeah Yeah, I knew that already. But did you see anything interesing?"

Spoiler: Kinda like this (Aang's Fortune)

Honestly Jaune would know all this stuff already, even if he's dence, he has been informed abou this stuff.
In canon his whole motivation to become a Huntsman is to follow in the footsteps of his ancester, a famous Huntsman who the sword belonged to, so stories about them would have been told to Jaune.
And in an AU where he had a great-grandfather like Shirou (posterboy of late-game overpowered protagonists), he'd definitely know about their heroic bullcrap adventures too.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Jaune: "Yeah Yeah, I knew that already. But did you see anything interesing?"

Spoiler: Kinda like this (Aang's Fortune)

Honestly Jaune would know all this stuff already, even if he's dence, he has been informed abou this stuff.
In canon his whole motivation to become a Huntsman is to follow in the footsteps of his ancester, a famous Huntsman who the sword belonged to, so stories about them would have been told to Jaune.
And in an AU where he had a great-grandfather like Shirou (posterboy of late-game overpowered protagonists), he'd definitely know about their heroic bullcrap adventures too.

Click to shrink...

Yeah, but it's still a cool Semblance and he's still grossed out by Sage commenting on how hot his Nana was.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

The Beacon Academy JNPR common room was a lively mess, with snack wrappers and open books strewn across the table, the late evening light filtering through the windows. Team SSSN and Jaune Arc sprawled across the couches, the air thick with banter and the faint hum of Aura from their earlier training. Jaune, in his black hoodie and white armor, leaned back, his blonde hair slightly mussed.

"It is nice to train with guys once in a while," Jaune observed.

"And Neptune," Scarlet snarked, cleaning his sword.

"Haha," Neptune huffed, working on his goggles.

"No problem, Jaune!" Sun grinned. "Any friend of Blake's is a friend of ours!"

"More or less," Sage observed. At Jaune's stare, Sage blinked. "That was a joke."

"Oh," Jaune mumbled, thinking of Ren. He wondered if he and Sage met in secret to work on being deadpan together.

"Woah! Who is the babe?!"

Jaune looked over at Neptune, who was holding up a framed picture of Jaune's family. Jaune scowled.

"That's my mom," Jaune growled.

"She's like the ultimate MILF!" Neptune crowed, "Hot Damn!"

"Neptune, answer me honestly," Jaune said, his voice teasing but sharp. "How would you personally feel if I was enjoying the view of your mother?"

Neptune, his blue hair catching the light, froze, his goggles slipping from his fingers. His voice was flat, defensive. "My mom's not a babe."

Jaune's eyebrow arched, his grin widening.

"What if she was one at our age?"

Neptune's eyes narrowed, his eyebrow twitching irritably. "Then she's not my mom, is she?"

Sun Wukong, lounging nearby, his tail swishing lazily, chimed in, his voice dripping with amusement.

"Dude, I know I'm a little late on the upkeep, but before you dig yourself deeper, I gotta let ya know something. A while back, I was walking in the park and saw Jaune helping a bunch of little kids get their ball back from a tree. The look their moms gave him afterward? Like they were starving and he was a plate of prime rib. So, I'm just saying… there's a good chance he seduces your mom outright."

Neptune's jaw dropped, his voice a yelp. "He would not!"

Scarlet's grin turned wicked, his eyes glinting. "He has Professor Goodwitch's Scroll number."

"HE WHAT?!" Neptune squawked, his face reddening.

Jaune waved his hands, his voice flustered.

"It's just because she's tutoring me, and I'm working as a teaching assistant!"

Sun leaned forward, undeterred, his voice sly.

"You also have the number for Blake's mom! Don't deny it, I saw the caller I.D. yesterday!"

Jaune's blush deepened, his voice defensive. "Well, I'm trying to help Blake reconnect with her parents!"

Neptune's eyes bulged, his voice a shout.

"Why are you doing that?!"

"She asked me to?" Jaune said, his tone bewildered, his hands raised.

Scarlet, perched on the armrest, smirked. Jaune prayed he wouldn't stoke the flames any further... But his prayers were not answered.

"What about that white-haired woman who kept saying she was Weiss's mom?"

Jaune groaned, rubbing his neck. "She was friends with my parents!"

Sage Ayana crossed his arms, his green hair catching the light, his voice calm but pointed.

"What about that strange raven-haired woman who looked like an older version of Yang and tried to throttle you last week?"

Jaune's face darkened, his voice sharp.

"That's Yang's mom. She's a bitch. My mom tried to make her come home and apologize to Yang for abandoning her."

Sun placed a hand on Neptune's shoulder, his voice mock-solemn.

"Still, dude, you're four for four on moms right now. I'm sorry, man, he'll seduce your mom. It's inevitable at this point."

Neptune's face was now a brilliant shade of red, his voice a strangled growl. Jaune flailed, his voice desperate. "No, no, no! My parents are trying to make Raven apologize to Yang! I don't—She's not hot!"

Sage's eyebrow arched, his voice dry. "She's a near one-to-one copy of Yang. Are you saying Yang's not hot?"

Jaune's eyes widened, his voice a frantic scramble.

"Physically, yes! But she abandoned her entire family and is a bandit! She's terrible! That kills any arousal at all."

"Then why is she following you around?" Neptune demanded. Jaune shrugged helplessly.

"I have no idea!"

Neptune was turning red at this moment, huffing like an angry bull.

"And anyway, it doesn't matter! I haven't met Neptune's mom!" Jaune added.

Sage held up his Scroll and projected an image of a very attractive older woman in a suit with a skirt with long blue hair. Jaune stared, and blushed.

"Oh... Wow... She's uh... I-I mean she looks... Nice?"

"And she's coming for the Vytal Festival," Sun grinned.

Scarlet placed a hand on Neptune's other shoulder, his voice teasing. "Tsk, tsk, sorry, Nep. Looks like Jaune's gonna seduce your mom."

Neptune's control snapped, his voice a roar. "YOU BASTARD!"

He launched himself at Jaune, hands aiming for his throat.

"HURK!" Jaune gasped, stumbling back as Neptune tackled him, the two crashing into the couch.

Sun cackled, leaning back, while Scarlet snorted, his voice dry. "Why exactly did we do this?"

Sage shook his head, his voice calm but amused. "It means he's now one of us."

"Having Neptune freak out and try to strangle us?" Scarlet asked.

Sun nodded.

"Totally! We all went through that!"

Scarlet hummed and shrugged as Jaune yelped in desperation.

"Fair enough."

- - -

There you go, no Jaune harem antics. Just Neptune freaking out and losing his control and Team SSSN being trolls.

 

[zMADLAXz]

Neptune's control snapped, his voice a roar. "YOU BASTARD!"

Click to shrink...

Oh I just thought of something funny.

Premise, that Neptune is a bit of an asshole.

Neptune: Well Jaune, who did you bring as your Date, your Mom?

Neptune and the rest of the people around him laugh, Weiss who stands with him as his date looks a little uncomfortable.

Jaune Laughs as well.

Jaune: Very funny Neptune, but I think there has been some confusion, I didn't bring my mom as a date, I brought your mom.

Neptune: ...what?

Rhea Vasilias, comes and stands, armed looped with Jaune's as she leans on his shoulder and excitedly says.

Rhea: High Honey!

Neptune: MOM!

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Oh I just thought of something funny.

Premise, that Neptune is a bit of an asshole.

Neptune: Well Jaune, who did you bring as your Date, your Mom?

Neptune and the rest of the people around him laugh, Weiss who stands with him as his date looks a little uncomfortable.

Jaune Laughs as well.

Jaune: Very funny Neptune, but I think there has been some confusion, I didn't bring my mom as a date, I brought your mom.

Neptune: ...what?

Rhea Vasilias, comes and stands, armed looped with Jaune's as she leans on his shoulder and excitedly says.

Rhea: High Honey!

Neptune: MOM!

Click to shrink...

Honestly, Neptune is a playboy who flirts with everything that moves and was putting the moves on Weiss. And was willing to stand her up at the Dance than reveal he didn't know how to dance. Just turn up his asshole levels a little and make him a comical buttmonkey and you can have a real character. Just not too much of an asshole.

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

Bet the second she shows up she's gonna accidentally kiss Jaune in front of everyone

 

[AndrewJTalon]

With how I write Team SSSN, Sun being a bit like Abridged!Son Goku, and Sage, Scarlet, and Neptune being like Piccolo, Tien and Yamcha respectively, it amuses me to no end to write Neptune as a spazz behind his front of being a cool, confident playboy. Oh sure he's perfectly competent in a fight but his desperate need to look cool is his downfall.

And he seems most likely of SSSN to have had incidents where he lost his temper and strangled one of his teammates. Here's how it went with Sun!

After a training session gone wrong, Sun was caught in an explosion. His team rushes him to a Bullhead as they evacuate back to Haven.

Neptune: "Sun! Buddy?! Can you speak to me?! What's wrong?!"

Sun: "Ohhhh... Ohhh... The pain, the painnnnn...!"

Neptune: "Where does it hurt?! WHERE?!"

Sun: "I'm sooo... Sooo...!"

Neptune: "So what?! WHAT?!"

Sun: "Hungry! We missed lunch for this training session and I didn't pack any snacks!"

Neptune: "YOU STUPID MONKEY BASTARD!" Strangles him

Sun: "HURK!"

Sage: "I feel like we should stop this."

Scarlet: "Nah. Sun'll be fine. He said so himself."

Sage: "Huh. Fair enough."

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

Is Neptune's dad named Homer?

I mean, Marge has blue hair, so it would work....

 

[Unknown_One]

Is Neptune's dad named Homer?

I mean, Marge has blue hair, so it would work....

Click to shrink...

Would be one hell of an Odyssey.