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[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

Eve: "Mother Isabel! I have done many terrible things... But all I want is to be Jaune's wife, join your family... And produce many grandchildren!"

Blake: "You can't be serious! She's a terrorist!"

Isabel: "Yes... But she'll be a much less dangerous terrorist if she's pregnant all the time. How many children do you want to have?"

Eve: "A DOZEN AT LEAST!"

Jaune: "A DOZEN?!"

Isabel: "Hmmmmm..."

Pyrrha: "I'D HAVE THIRTEEN!"

Eve: "FOURTEEN!"

Isabel: "Do I hear fifteen?"

Jaune: "MOM!"

Isabel: "What?!"
Is Isabel auctioning off her son to who ever will give her the most grandchildren?
Isabel: 20 do I hear 20; let's go for 30! 30 anyone going for 30? Sold for 35!
 
Is Isabel auctioning off her son to who ever will give her the most grandchildren?
Isabel: 20 do I hear 20; let's go for 30! 30 anyone going for 30? Sold for 35!

Ruby: "WEISS! If we all agree to have some of Jaune's children, we can totally beat Eve!"

Weiss: "Wh-What makes you think I even want his babies-?!"

Yang: "I'M IN FOR A DOZEN!"

Pyrrha: "YANG!"

Yang: "We're in this together, P-Money!"

Pyrrha: moved "Yang...!"

Yang: "Plus, I'm not ending up a biker lesbian with a cat!"

Blake: "I don't even know why you keep looking at me when you say that-!"

Eve: "BLAKE! We can't let these filthy humans win! LEND ME YOUR WOMB!"

Blake: "WHAT?!"
 
Ruby: "WEISS! If we all agree to have some of Jaune's children, we can totally beat Eve!"

Imagine the next generation of Beacon students.
Teachers start taking attendance and the Arc´s make up half the list.
Half the time in Parent/teacher conference is taken by the Arcs.
Ozpin praying Jaune and his wives pick interesting names for their children cause he is tired of thinking how to add letter A into acronyms to make colours.
Jaune and family would need their own airship to bring them all to school at the start of each semester.
The daughter to son ratio stays the same as it was with jaune so there is one son for every seven daughters.
Imagine the poor girls trying to date Jaune´s sons only to have to deal with at least 4 hunters worth of sisters. They wouldnt even find the bodies after they are done with them.

Momma Arc is totally playing them against each other so she later on takes both of them up on their offers.
Yang:12.
Pyrrah: 13
Eve:14
Blake:...im gonna say 12 just so they beat yang and Pyrrah.
Ruby: 2
Weiss: 3
Just to help Y and P.

So being conservative that would make 56 Arc children....about 7 sons 49 daughters.
 
Imagine the next generation of Beacon students.
Teachers start taking attendance and the Arc´s make up half the list.
Half the time in Parent/teacher conference is taken by the Arcs.
Ozpin praying Jaune and his wives pick interesting names for their children cause he is tired of thinking how to add letter A into acronyms to make colours.
Jaune and family would need their own airship to bring them all to school at the start of each semester.
The daughter to son ratio stays the same as it was with jaune so there is one son for every seven daughters.
Imagine the poor girls trying to date Jaune´s sons only to have to deal with at least 4 hunters worth of sisters. They wouldnt even find the bodies after they are done with them.

Momma Arc is totally playing them against each other so she later on takes both of them up on their offers.
Yang:12.
Pyrrah: 13
Eve:14
Blake:...im gonna say 12 just so they beat yang and Pyrrah.
Ruby: 2
Weiss: 3
Just to help Y and P.

So being conservative that would make 56 Arc children....about 7 sons 49 daughters.

Well, if Jaune's genes allow for him to pass on his immense Aura power and potential? Many people would be very interested in him having a lot of children. A LOT of children.

Ironwood: "SUPER SOLDIER BABIES, OZPIN! THINK ABOUT IT!"

Ozpin: "I am. But you won't have to educate them."
 
Well, if Jaune's genes allow for him to pass on his immense Aura power and potential? Many people would be very interested in him having a lot of children. A LOT of children.

Ironwood: "SUPER SOLDIER BABIES, OZPIN! THINK ABOUT IT!"

Ozpin: "I am. But you won't have to educate them."

Soldier Jaune from the previous weapon snippets, loudly declaring his intentions to woo Winter Schnee in a proper manly way.

Ironwood: "SOLDIER, I EXPECT SPECIALIST SCHNEE TO BE TREATED THE WAY SHE SHOULD BE!"
Jaune: "SUH! A CANDLELIGHT DINNER AND A ROMANTIC WALK UNDER THE MOONLIGHT HAS ALREADY BEEN PLANNED, SUH!"
Ironwood: "AND WHAT ELSE?"
Jaune: "HANDHOLDING AND DISCUSSING OUR FUTURE AS A COUPLE, SUH! AND THEN WE SHALL MAKE LOVE ON A BED OF ROSES BEFORE HAVING WILD MONKEY SEX UNTIL OUR HIPS BREAK, SUH!"
Ironwood: "YOU'RE DOING THE GODS' OWN WORK, SOLDIER! DISMISSED!"
 
A Huntsmen's Duty
Eve: "BLAKE! We can't let these filthy humans win! LEND ME YOUR WOMB!"

A Huntsmen's Duty
Ironwood - " This is madness, Ozpin! Negotiating with the White Fang?!?!"

Ozpin - "What would you have me do, James? Three quarters of the Maidens are missing, injured, or crippled by old age. Our enemies surround us, and Salem is more active than she has ever been since the Great War. Huntsmen are bound to duty, and making sacrifices is part of that duty."

Ironwood - "He's a student! One of your students! And you're proposing to force him into a shotgun marriage to Eve "Sword of the Faunus" Taurus?!?!"

*Door Suddenly Opens, and Eve Taurus enters*
Eve - "I am indeed the sword of the Faunus, General Ironwood, and I shall also be Jaune Arc's sheath by the time these marriage negotiations are over."

Winter Schnee - "I don't know what the laws are in Menagerie, Miss Taurus, but a legal marriage in Vale requires two parties to unanimously consent, something which Mr. Arc has not done!"

Eve - "Jaune agreed to marry me when we were children, and I've already obtained his Mother's personal approval...."

*Earlier*

Eve - "Grandbabies."

Isabel - "Grandbabies!"

 
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> Blake ran away from the White Fang in part because of their extremism and murderous tendencies, but also because she interpreted Eve's relationship with her as desiring for sex and romance on Eve's part and didn't want the same.
> Meanwhile, Eve just saw Blake as someone she mentored and a confidant at best, as she's straight, just like in canon.
> She's confused when Blake starts talking about how she doesn't want to be in a romantic relationship with her and what they had was unhealthy, because to Eve their relationship is strictly platonic.
> Then Blake splits the train in two, leaving a confused Eve behind.
> Eve focuses on Blake's betrayal of the White Fang so much because she's genuinely pissed about it, but also because she doesn't want to face the fact that Blake misunderstood her so much she cast her as an aggressor in a relationship that never existed. :V
 
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The Inevitable Outcome of a Jaune Harem
In a timeline where Pyrrha didn't die and Cinder still got wrecked...

Jaune: "Hey, Cinder? Tell your boss that we need about a year before we're ready to have a showdown."

Cinder: "What? You got something better to do?"

Jaune: "Yes. All female members of Team RWBY and JNPR are pregnant."

Cinder: "Wait what?! How?!"

Jaune: "Well, uh... I - we - have been busy."

Cinder: "SERIOUSLY?!"

Jaune: "Hey, after you wrecked Vale, we all kind of went into survival mode and Nora wasn't gonna share, so... Yeah.

Cinder: "YOU KNOCKED UP FIVE WOMEN?!"

Jaune: "Well, six, Neo too. Look, we know you have a massive revenge boner for Ruby and Pyrrha, and we certainly want to kill you back. So I promise we'll give you a real fight when we've all had the babies."

Cinder: "Why the hell shouldn't I just come and kill you all now that you're pregnant and helpless, huh?!"

Jaune: "Because it's beneath you. It wouldn't prove you were stronger or better than us."

Cinder: "... You know, I know you're playing me... But you're right. Fine! And congratulations."

Jaune: "Thanks! Still can't wait to murder you but it is appreciated."
 
> During the next fight, Cinder gets shocked so badly by Nora's electricity, which she's learned to produce as well as absorb that she has to get a pacemaker.
> Little did she know that this would be the cause of her downfall.
> During their last confrontation, Pyrrha uses her polarity to rip Cinder's partially mechanized heart right out of her chest.
> Jaune then proceeded to decapitate her just to be safe.
 
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> During the next fight, Cinder gets shocked so badly by Nora's electricity, which she's learned to produce as well as absorb that she has to get a pacemaker.
> Little did she know that this would be the cause of her downfall.
> During their last confrontation, Pyrrha uses her polarity to rip Cinder's partially mechanized heart right out of her chest.
> Jaune then proceeded to decapitate her just to be safe.
They then shoot her corpse full of fire dust proceeds to then gather what ever left of said corpse incinerate it gather the ashes,commit a exorcism on said ashes ,throw the ashes into a volcano just to be safe.
This bout of complete overkill was funded by Schnee industries,contact us on Schnee dot com for more information for complete and absolute overkill.
 
Dragonslayer: The Redo
Jaune's morning had started in such a mundane way. He had recovered from a rough training session with Pyrrha last night. He had actually finished all of his homework. Weiss had actually helped him a little with tutoring, so she wasn't completely repulsed by him anymore.

Everything seemed pretty normal as he tore into his breakfast with the rest of his team, and team RWBY nearby. Well, most of it. Yang had been late getting up. Still, this wasn't too unusual and so Jaune hadn't suspected anything would be amiss.

Ah, the naivete of youth.

Yang slammed open the doors, looking like she'd seen Hell and it was two steps behind her. She dashed over to Ruby, and hugged her little half-sister tightly.

"RUBY! Ruby, y-you're okay!"

"Ummm... Y-Yeah, Yang? I-I'm fine?" Ruby managed, patting Yang on the back in confusion and concern. "Are you okay-?"

Yang kissed the top of her head, and sniffled.

"I love you so much," she murmured.

Ruby went bright red.

"U-Um, Yang, I uh... I do...?"

Blake frowned, lowering her book.

"Yang, is something wrong-?"

Yang's fist shot out and found its way into Blake's jaw. The cat faunus went down, and stared up at Yang in shock. Yang growled down at her, her eyes burning bright red.

"YANG!" Ruby gasped. "What was that for?!"

Yang took a few deep breaths, calming herself. She glared at Blake, as though seeing someone else in her place.

"Just take that as a warning," Yang growled at her partner, "If you think of running out on us again. Got it?"

She then held out her hand. The hurt and confused Blake stared at her hand. Yang took a deep breath, and shook her head.

"I can forgive it... But don't push me, Blake. I don't want to lose a friend," she stated.

Blake slowly nodded, and took Yang's hand. She still looked confused, but she accepted it as her Aura healed her cheek. Once she was back on her bench, Yang then turned to Pyrrha. She reached out, and hugged the surprised Pyrrha.

"Pyrrha," Yang murmured, "I won't let it happen this time. I promise."

"I uh... Sure?" Pyrrha said, awkwardly patting Yang with a confused smile and a bit of a blush.

"And... And I'm sorry," Yang said quietly.

Pyrrha blinked.

"For what?"

Yang pulled back. She turned her eyes onto Jaune.

Jaune held back a gulp. Yang had been utterly unpredictable-Even more than usual. She'd sobbed over her sister, punched her partner, and hugged Pyrrha. What the hell was she going to do to him?!

"Jaune," Yang murmured.

"Yang," Jaune said, fighting to keep his voice steady, "If I've done something wrong, or-or I can help you, I will-"

Yang approached him, held out her arms, and wrapped them around his shoulders. She pushed her lips against his. The warmth of the kiss turned his brain to jelly and sent electricity sparking through his nervous system!

Is she... Is that her tongue? Oh Gods, it's her tongue!

He vaguely heard Weiss, Ruby and Pyrrha gasp in shock. Nora cheered.

Yang broke the kiss, leaving them both panting hard. Yang licked her lips.

"Do... Do you want to go on a date? With me? This Friday?" Yang asked. She was abruptly vulnerable, looking... Scared. Her mood swings were terrifying, but he couldn't help see a bit of his sisters in her.

Not a lot though, that would be weird.

Jaune managed a slow nod. He really couldn't come up with a reason to say no.

"S-Sure?"

Yang beamed, and hugged him tightly.

"I'm glad," she said softly, "I... I won't lose you either. Not again."

This is insane, Jaune thought, Totally insane.

Yet he still hugged her back tightly. The relief and sorrow in her voice was too genuine to ignore. His heart told him to hold her and offer comfort.

"Ummm... No problem?"

Yeah, again, this day had started so normally...

- - -
 
> Blake ran away from the White Fang in part because of their extremism and murderous tendencies, but also because she interpreted Eve's relationship with her as desiring for sex and romance on Eve's part and didn't want the same.
> Meanwhile, Eve just saw Blake as someone she mentored and a confidant at best, as she's straight, just like in canon.
> She's confused when Blake starts talking about how she doesn't want to be in a romantic relationship with her and what they had was unhealthy, because to Eve their relationship is strictly platonic.
> Then Blake splits the train in two, leaving a confused Eve behind.
> Eve focuses on Blake's betrayal of the White Fang so much because she's genuinely pissed about it, but also because she doesn't want to face the fact that Blake misunderstood her so much she cast her as an aggressor in a relationship that never existed. :V

Blake: "Him? Him?! You came here for a human?!"
Eve: "Racist."
Blake: "Wha...I'm not racist!"
Eve: "You thought we were in a lesbian relationship, Blake, so why did you call me out for coming here for a human, and not because he's a man?"
Blake: "But...but...I'm not racist! I have human friends! Just ask them!"
 
Blake: "Him? Him?! You came here for a human?!"
Eve: "Racist."
Blake: "Wha...I'm not racist!"
Eve: "You thought we were in a lesbian relationship, Blake, so why did you call me out for coming here for a human, and not because he's a man?"
Blake: "But...but...I'm not racist! I have human friends! Just ask them!"
Eve: Name One
Blake: ughhhh… Juan?
Eve: You made that up
Blake: I have a lot of Human friends I swear!
 
Jaune Had Game
It'd be funny if beacon found out Jaune actually did have game.


Yang: I still don't know how you thought you'd get Weiss to date you with those bad pick up lines.

Jaune: look it's been a while since I've been on a date ok? I'm rusty.

Weiss: oh please who would fall for those kinds of pick up lines?

Jaune: Briar Branwen is a lovely girl.

Yang/Ruby/velvet: you dated our cousin?!

*Pause*

Yang/Ruby/velvet: we're related?!

Jaune: sweet girl, likes the raunchiest jokes in the world.

Velvet: yeah that's briar. How'd you two meet?

Jaune: we were both on the rebound. Her boyfriend Peter cotton ran off and mine got arrested for starting a fight in a crepe kingdom at 3 in the morning.

Weiss: who starts a fight at a diner at 3 in the morning?

*Everyone looks at Weiss whit slight pity over how sheltered she is*

Jaune: Brunhilde does.

Nora: Ren I'm feeling weird and I don't know why.

Ren: Don't think about it.

Nora: I'm thinking about it!

*Ren desperately trying to move things along*

Ren: what caused the fight?

Jaune:....well.

Weiss: don't tell me. You ran into a ex.*such sarcasm*

Jaune: less a ex and more a unwanted stalker. There are many flavors of crazy and Giselle Gele is all of them.

*Weiss looks like her world is falling apart*

*Pyrrha looks ready to stab someone"

*Jaune is oblivious*
 
Grandmother
Out in the boonies, Salem is treated like Baba Yaga - powerful, capricious and as capable of granting great boons as she is of inflicting horrific curses. It just so happens that Jaune's village follows the old ways, and when Salem arrives at the Vytal festival, to Ozpin's horror, Jaune immediately takes over honoring 'Grandmother' before someone accidentally pisses her off and ends up in the Hut.

Ozpin: *choking on his own spit* "SA-"
Jaune: *dragging Ozpin down and whispering* "Sir, first rule of living out in the boonies: Don't anger Grandmother! You never know if she's listening in!"
Ozpin: "GRA-"
Jaune: "Grandmother, would you walk with me and see the sights?"
Salem: *inwardly laughing like a loon* "Come then, child."

<later>

Qrow: "Wait, is that why the tribe always avoids that particular stretch of North Vale? Huh."
Ozpin: *incoherent screaming*
 
Jaune:I'm not sure what's going on here or how comfortable I am with it all.

*Eve uses her aura to shred her clothes and stands in front of Jaune butt ass naked*

Jaune: Objections withdrawn.
Funnier would be if Eve sneaks into Vale and only Jaune and Blake recogonize her whe she isnt dressed up as an evil corporate lady.

Like, Eve with a flower pattern summer dress and braids is unrecogonizible to the point even Weiss thinks Blake is trying some crazy plan to get Jaune to break up with his hometown sweetheart to nab him for herself
 
Funnier would be if Eve sneaks into Vale and only Jaune and Blake recogonize her whe she isnt dressed up as an evil corporate lady.

Like, Eve with a flower pattern summer dress and braids is unrecogonizible to the point even Weiss thinks Blake is trying some crazy plan to get Jaune to break up with his hometown sweetheart to nab him for herself
Jaune: can I ask what was up with all the red and black?

Eve: I kept getting all my sundresses dirty fighting and it's easier getting the stains not to show on red and black than it is on pink, yellow, and baby blue.

Jaune: fair enough.

*Blake eavesdropping nearby curls up into a ball silently screaming*
 
Dragonslayer: In the Family Way 10
- - -

The training field was covered in scorch marks, rubble, and debris. Which was pretty normal, honestly. At some point, Professor Goodwitch had only committed to cleaning it up every month or so.

It was here that Nick and Isabel Arc were waiting, next to a huge black and silver motorcycle that left Yang drooling. Nick was looking through the cargo skirts, checking through a large collection of very large swords, while Isabel was checking through a veritable pallet of medical supplies. Both looked up, all smiles when Jaune and his friends arrived.

"Wow, you weren't kidding," Yang gushed, "A Remus 205!"

"With weapon cargo skirts?!" Ruby cried happily.

Nick grinned.

"Yup! Feel free to look her over, Ruby! Just don't modify it too much without my say so!"

"No promises!" Ruby chirped, and immediately began looking the motorcycle over. Nick hummed.

"Let's see... Let's go with a starter weapon... Ah! Here it is."

He pulled out a very hefty broad sword, almost as tall as Nick was. He grinned at Jaune.

"Ready for training, son?"

"Just a second," Jaune said, as he summoned his rocket locker. Yang's eyes went from the very large sword her future father-in-law was wielding, and her fiance several times.

Her eyes focused almost exclusively on Jaune when the locker arrived and he began dressing in his armor.

"Er..." She walked up to his side. "So... You're sure about this?"

"Yup," Jaune said grimly, nodding as he pulled out his sword and shield. "Gotta get stronger."

"You're already training with Pyrrha, the Invincible Girl," Yang pointed out with a nervous laugh. Jaune nodded.

"Yup... But my dad's gonna teach me something I'm lacking: Pure, raw power."

"Isn't Nora working on that with you?" Yang pressed. Jaune nodded.

"Yup."

"And... So this is totally necessary?"

She was nervous. Why was she so damn nervous?

"Yup," Jaune said. "It'll be fine. Don't worry."

"I'm not," Yang huffed, "But if you tire yourself out too much, you'll be no use to me. Your needy and helpless fiance!"

"Helpless is not the first word I would use," Jaune deadpanned.

"And needy?"

"No comment," he said with a smile. He leaned in to kiss her cheek. "Relax."

"S-Sure," Yang managed. Jaune headed out onto the training field. Yang walked over to where Isabel was looking over the medical supplies.

"S-So... This is just for show, r-right?" Yang asked with a nervous smile, "You're just trying to push your son into giving up... R-Right?"

Isabel sighed, and sat down on a marble block.

"You don't know anything about our family, do you?" Isabel asked dryly.

Yang winced as Nick and Jaune walked out further into the field, before turning to face one another.

"I uh... I didn't pay as much attention as I should have, no," she admitted.

"Everyone sit down," Isabel sighed, "And stay behind the motorcycle. There's a hardlight Dust shield installed just in case."

"What? Why?" Pyrrha asked, as pale as Yang imagined herself to be.

"You'll see," Isabel groused, crossing her arms under her (admittedly impressive) chest and glaring at her husband and son.

"Okay!" Nick shouted. "We will be starting with the very basics of the Ancient Arc Sword Style! Taught to me by your great-grandmother Arturia!"

"Uh... Yeah Dad, I-I know," Jaune said.

"So it is very important," Nick shouted again, "For you to focus only on the basics! Because this is how she taught me, and let me into the family!"

Isabel groaned and covered her eyes.

"Uh, yes Dad, I-I know that too. You told me. Many times," Jaune went on.

"Good!" Nick said cheerfully. "So, Lesson One Is...!"

His sword burned bright blue-green with Aura, before he hefted it up... And swung it down like he was chopping wood.

"DODGE!"

"SHIIIIIT!" Jaune screamed, barely leaping out of the way of the Aura blast. It flew off, kicking up dirt and grass in its wake, before it hit one of the many ancient trees surrounding the training ground and blew it to pieces with a massive boom!

Ruby, Pyrrha, Nora, Blake, Weiss, and Yang's jaws all dropped, practically to the grass. Ren's eyebrows rose to the point that they nearly leaped off his forehead.

"I... Wha...?" Yang tried.

"DODDDDDDGE!"

"Nicholas Arc is one of the few Hunters in the last generation known to have killed a Grimm Hydra," Isabel sighed, "A beast as big as a Grimm Goliath but far more dangerous and harder to kill. Granted, he had help from our team and me, but he did deliver the killing blow."

A beat.

"When he was eighteen."

"Holy crap," Ruby wheezed.

"And this is him starting off easy?!" Weiss cried.

"DODDDDDGE!"

"GYAAAAAHHHH!"

Jaune didn't quite make the dodge that time, and was blasted through a marble pillar. Yang, Pyrrha, and Ruby were almost immediately on their feet.

"JAUNE!" Yang shouted.

Jaune slowly peeked up from the rubble pile he'd been slammed into. He staggered to his feet and gave his fiance and friends a thumbs up.

"I'M OKAY!" He shouted.

"YOU SURE SON?" Nick shouted.

"YEAH, I'M GOOD!" Jaune shouted.

Nick grinned, his beard shining in the sunlight.

"GREAT! NOW DODDGGGGGGGE!"

"AAAUUUGGGGHHHH!"

Isabel rubbed her temples in irritation.

"This... He's messing with us, r-right?" Weiss tried urgently. "This-This can't be a real training regimen!"

"Can it?" Yang asked faintly, as Ruby held her hand. Whether it was to support her or for her support, she didn't know.

"Every Arc who wanted to be a Hunter went through it with Great-Grandma Arturia," Isabel said firmly, her eyes haunted. "Every. Single. One."

"I can see why you stopped," Blake said dryly.

"DODDDDDDGE!"

- - -
 
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Out in the boonies, Salem is treated like Baba Yaga - powerful, capricious and as capable of granting great boons as she is of inflicting horrific curses. It just so happens that Jaune's village follows the old ways, and when Salem arrives at the Vytal festival, to Ozpin's horror, Jaune immediately takes over honoring 'Grandmother' before someone accidentally pisses her off and ends up in the Hut.

Ozpin: *choking on his own spit* "SA-"
Jaune: *dragging Ozpin down and whispering* "Sir, first rule of living out in the boonies: Don't anger Grandmother! You never know if she's listening in!"
Ozpin: "GRA-"
Jaune: "Grandmother, would you walk with me and see the sights?"
Salem: *inwardly laughing like a loon* "Come then, child."

<later>

Qrow: "Wait, is that why the tribe always avoids that particular stretch of North Vale? Huh."
Ozpin: *incoherent screaming*

It'd be kinda fun seeing how she might have shaped things possibly also sad.

Pyrrha: so your home has four festivals a year?

Jaune: yep, Ember, Lavender, Misty, and Luna.

Ren: Interesting names for festivals, any particular reasons they fall on the days they do? I can't think of any holidays around those times.

Jaune: Nobody knows except grandmother. Some time in the past We noticed those days were significant to her. We didn't pry but did ask if she wanted anything done for those days. So four festivals were set up and she named the festivals.

Nora: Does she enjoy the festivals?

Jaune: I don't know, she doesn't usually come to them but....

Pyrrha:But?

Jaune: when she does she looks....sad.
 
Arc Family Training
Jaune: "Wait... Mom, you went through the same training?"

Isabel: "Yup!"

Jaune: "With Great-Grandma Arturia?! Seriously?!"

Isabel: "Well it was a little different for me..."

Flashback to the past!

Isabel: "Grandma, I'm gonna be a doctor-"

Arturia: "And you're starting out as a combat medic! You think Grimm are going to see the red cross on your armor and go 'Oh gee, I better not eat her! I might violate some treaty that Grimm didn't sign because Grimm don't sign treaties!'"

Isabel: "... Fair enough. But I can already enhance my strength and endurance to superhuman levels-!"

Arturia: "Know how to throw a punch?"

Isabel: "Er... Sort of-?"

Arturia: "Oh good. 'Sort of'. That will keep you alive. 'Sort of', that's a ringing endorsement for survival!"

Shirou: "Aren't you being a little hard on her, Arturia-?"

Arturia: "If she's discouraged by harsh language and sarcasm, then she has no place on the battlefield! Well Isabel? Still want to do this?"

Isabel: "Yes Grandma!"

Arturia: "All right! Since you're already fairly tough, we'll start you off-"

Isabel: "Let me guess, Level 2?"

Arturia: "Four." SWORD BEAM!

Isabel: "GYAAAAAHHHHH!" CRASH!

Arturia: "For interrupting me! That's very rude, young lady!"

The Present

Isabel: "See? Your father is definitely going easy on you."

Jaune: "Well, wait, then why did she go easy on Dad?"

Nick: proudly "I was polite!"

Isabel: sighs "Yes, he was."
 
Knightshade Visit 7
- - -

Kali and Blake took their breakfast after Ghira and Jaune had left for training and work. Kali had begged off due to needing to speak with Blake about "female matters", and Ghira had happily acquiesced. It always worked.

She studied her daughter. She had a soft, warm smile on her face, and blushed when she looked up at her mother.

"So," Kali said, "How did it go?"

"Ummm..." Blake smiled. "W-Well... We cuddled. A-A lot. All night."

"Mmhmmm...?" Kali prompted. "And...?"

Blake flushed... And then looked down with a sigh.

"And he scratched... Behind my ears?"

"Ooh!" Kali giggled. "Wonderful! And...?"

"And uh... Well..."

Kali stared at her daughter. She sniffed her significantly, and then sighed.

"Blake... You didn't seal the deal!"

Blake turned bright red.

"M-Mom! I-I just..." She bowed her head. "He... I-I mean..."

"He didn't reject you, did he?" Kali demanded.

"N-No! I mean, sort of," Blake sighed, "He... He didn't want it to just be... He wanted it to be about true feelings. N-Not just... Me trying to make up for things. He told me I didn't have to do that."

Kali sighed and buried her face in her palms.

"Oh Gods, he's one of those," she groaned.

"A... A romantic, right?" Blake asked. Kali nodded.

"A good, kind, romantic and noble young man," she said. "Which is both good... And bad. Good in that I can trust him to do the right thing when he knocks you up-"

"When?!" Blake squeaked. Kali scowled.

"What? So I want grandkids, is that a crime? Especially with such a heroic boy!"

"A-A heroic-?" Blake stammered.

Kali held up some newspapers from Vale. The front pages all had images of Jaune and her friends in action, fighting Grimm, helping people... Doing so much for everyone. Her eyes widened.

"Very much so," Kali said, "I had my agents scouring intelligence on this young man all last week. I'm quite good at reading people, but it never hurts to be thorough-Especially if he might become my son-in-law."

"I..." Blake felt the hard guilt stab into her heart as she looked the papers over.

While I've been here recovering... They've been... And the White Fang...!

Blake winced. Kali paused, softened her gaze, and put a hand over hers.

"I'm not going to force you to do anything, or guilt you into it. You have more than enough of that on your shoulders, Blake."

"I..."

"Let's make this simple," Kali said, "Do you like him?"

Blake slowly nodded.

"I... I do," she said softly, "He's... I really do."

"Then you both deserve some happiness," Kali said gently. "You just have to get past his chivalry and make it clear you want him for him. You do want him for that, right?"

Blake slowly nodded again.

"I do," she murmured, a soft blush on her cheeks.

Kali beamed.

"Wonderful! In that case, we'll just have to escalate to the method that I used to get your father's attention!"

Blake blinked.

"Eh?"

"Don't worry, it'll work for sure!" Kali said cheerfully. "And then you'll make me some grandkids!"

"Grandkids?!" Blake squeaked. "I-I can't do that! Not now! I-I have to get back into shape! I need to go help my friends and help save the world!"

Kali sighed.

"Weren't you starting slow?"

"Having grandchildren isn't slow, Mom!"

"It was for me!"

"MOM!"

- - -

The day's training was exhausting, even for Jaune. Ghira had put him up against thirty guards all at once, and then Ghira himself! The fights had been long and difficult. Against the guards, Jaune had used their numbers against them and powered on through.

Ghira? He was a LOT harder. He had range, unlike Jaune. Sure, he had his sword air slashes, but those couldn't go very far. And the powerful panther Faunus' Claw strikes were devastating. First year him would have been torn to shreds by his hits.

That said, he had learned a lot. After every bout, Ghira pointed out issues and openings he had, as well as ways to fix them. He kept doing better, little by little, with every fight.

By the end, he was exhausted but smiling. And Ghira was the same, as he patted him on the back happily on the way back to the mansion.

"You did great, Jaune!"

"Thanks sir!" Jaune said gratefully. Saber Rodentia followed at a respectful distance, his keen eyes scanning around everywhere as they walked through the front gates.

"What did you think, Saber?" Ghira asked.

"He's... All right," Saber managed. Ghira chuckled.

"Take that as a huge compliment, Jaune."

"Oh, uh, thank you, Captain Rodentia," Jaune said with a small smile. Saber snorted.

"You have a long way to go."

"I know," Jaune nodded.

Ghira sighed as he checked his Scroll. A small smirk appeared on his face.

"Hey Jaune? Why don't you take a bath first? I need to see to some things with Saber," he said. "Go on ahead!"

"Huh? Oh, sure sir," Jaune said with a nod. He removed his boots and headed in.

"Hey Jaune!" Kali greeted happily from the office as he passed by, "Good day?"

"Pretty good, ma'am!" Jaune said cheerfully. He waved and smiled as he headed on.

He made it to the baths. They were Fujin style, where you cleaned off in a warm wooden chamber first, before you entered the main baths. They were very plush. It wasn't a surprise, really, that they would spring for this. He pulled off his bunny ears and his clothes, before he scrubbed himself clean and went on in with a towel.

Jaune slid into the hot water bath with a happy sigh as his muscles relaxed. It was so wonderful...

Geez... What am I doing? Jaune thought, his guilt rising hard, I'm playing house and training with these nice people... And my friends are fighting for their lives...

He shut his eyes tightly.

I've got to complete the mission... I've got to talk to Blake, convince her to come or help or... Or something..

The door to the baths opened.

"Hello Jaune," said Blake.

Jaune turned and smiled, the warmth of the bath making him forget briefly about their context.

"Hey Blaaaaaaaaake?!"

Blake stood there in nothing but a towel, with a soft smile on her face.

"Would you like me to wash your back?"

Jaune gulped.

Oh boy...
- - -
A lemon is on the way for this...
 
Knightshade: Aftermath
"Would you like me to wash your back?"

Jaune gulped.

Oh boy...
- - -
A lemon is on the way for this...

*Months later*

Blake: "I'm sorry, Yang. I've wronged you and team RWBY."

Yang: "Damn right."

Blake: "Jaune helped me see the error of my ways... No, he proved it!"

Yang: "Way to go, Vomit Boy!"

Blake: "While you were struggling, I was having my back blown out by a penis longer than my forearm."

Yang: "Serves you...wait, what?"

Blake: "While you and the team were stuck with gruel and track rations, I was nothing more than a faunus throatpussy chugging down enough ultra-thick, super-yummy Arc nut to knock all four of us up with triplets. Daily. Straight from the balls."

Yang: *tugging at her collar* "I, uh, um..."

Blake: *lips quivering* "While you were being drilled without mercy, I was being drilled so hard I thought I was a cow faunus, and it just made Jaune go even harder."

Yang: *looking down at her own boobs* "Eeee..."

Blake: *breathing hard* "While you were training your huntress skills to exhaustion, I was training my huntress skills to be a... a... houri! I still get ready to dance when Jaune snaps his fingers!"

Yang: *weakly* "Yeah, um, what... what else does he do?"

Blake: "The point is, I've been a bad kitty. Very bad. But Jaune's punishing me." *grabs Yang's hands* "I... I can't ask you...beg you...to forgive me, Yang! But until that day I'll take my punishments without complaint."

Yang: *squirming* "Yeah. I... I don't..."

Blake: *meekly* "Could you tie this choker around my neck? For my punishment later?"

Yang: *reading the inscription* "Snap... My.... Collar?

Blake: "Kitty's going to get her cream, fresh and hot~ Uh, I mean, I couldn't ask you to..."

Yang: "Er... I think I should...watch. Yeah, that's it, just to make sure and...and..."

Blake: *hopefully* "Hold my head down and make me choke and gag?"
 
Jaune's Childhood Friends: The Forgotten Bride 3
Siiiiigh. This is why I shouldn't post so late at night.

- - -

Jaune blinked as he looked over the situation he was in as the surreal experience it was. His childhood friend was sitting with him at the lunch table, cuddled up to his side after dropping the bombshell of all bombshells to his friends. Pyrrha was on his other side, not cuddled up but clearly not happy about something. Everyone else was gathered around, staring at him. Cardin had choked on his toast, so hey, there was that.

Jaune wasn't so big a man he couldn't enjoy that.

Weiss... Was also looking... Jealous? He wasn't sure how to feel about that.

Blake was also looking confused and terrified. Why? She seemed to know the girl, and Eve certainly knew her.

"So Jaune," Pyrrha began, her eyebrow twitching over that model perfect smile, "However did you and Eve meet?"

"Yes. How?" Blake pressed.

Ruby whimpered a bit. Poor girl looked kind of crushed. Geez, his bestie was just getting creamed!

Yang and Nora were eating popcorn, and Ren was sharing with Nora. Figures.

"So, her mom was injured in an SDC Mining camp," Jaune explained, "My mom and dad were protecting it and doing some medical work. They brought her and her daughter to Radian for a year for her recovery, and uh, we became friends."

"His family opened their hearts and home to me," Eve beamed, "And showed us so much kindness." She sighed happily and hugged Jaune's arm to her chest more securely. He could tell Pyrrha was mad-The voltage in the air seemed to increase. "Jaune and I were the best of friends!"

"Yeah, she was pretty awesome," Jaune laughed, "The most awesome girl I ever met! We went hiking, fishing, played at swordfighting, video games, so much else!"

"Oh. Wow," Ruby said, trying to smile but the sadness in her eyes was pretty strong.

"Uh, not that you're not my best friend too, Ruby!"

"Oh yes, his best friend," Eve said with a smile, "Like a little sister."

For some reason, Ruby looked offended.

Eve snuggled against him.

"But alas," Eve sighed, "I had to leave with my mother. We were... Ahem... Joining the White Fang protests against the SDC's barbaric work practices."

"What a surprise," Weiss muttered. Eve and Blake shot her venomous looks. To Weiss' credit, she didn't back down.

"But before I left," Eve giggled, "Jaune here swore he would marry me someday!"

"I-I mean..." Jaune coughed. "I had turned ten and I just learned... I uh... I kind of figured out she was a girl..."

"An early bloomer!" Nora giggled.

"I definitely was," Eve giggled, "It happens to cow faunus early."

"Lucky you," Weiss grumbled. Ruby grimaced in empathy.

Jaune wasn't gonna get into that. He had to deal with that kind of thing with his sisters.

Not sure why Pyrrha was so upset. Her body rivaled Eve's just fine, even without bovine attributes-NOPE. None of that!

"So uh, yeah, I proposed," Jaune said with a nervous smile. "It was, um-"

"Just something a young boy might say in the throes of puberty?" Weiss pressed, glaring at him and Eve. Again, weird.

"Totally binding by Faunus standards!" Eve cried happily.

"Wait what," Jaune tried.

Eve's lower lip wobbled as she stared at Jaune.

"You mean... You don't want to marry me?" She asked.

"I uh... I totally didn't say that," Jaune said quickly, "But maybe we should... Um... Talk to your parents about this-"

"They're dead," Eve hissed, a real, murderous anger on her face for a moment before she calmed down. That said, Jaune's objections fell by the wayside. He hugged her tightly, and held her close.

"I'm so sorry, Eve," Jaune murmured, "That's horrible. I-I can't imagine how horrible you must feel. But I'm here for you, I-I promise."

Eve hesitated for the first time since she had re-entered his life. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled in close.

"I... I know it may be sudden," Eve murmured, "But... Finding you again is... Is what gave me hope in dark times. You... You understand, right?"

Jaune nodded slowly.

"I... I didn't know you felt that much for me," Jaune said. He smiled as some old clan knowledge came to his mind. Something he actually remembered. "But uh... Look. We just met each other again after several years. Maybe we should... Take things slow? I-I mean, you might not want me anymore-"

"I could never not want you in my life, Jaune!" Eve insisted, cupping his cheeks between her hands. "You... You were my light!"

"And... And I'll always be that for you," Jaune said, smiling warmly as he took her hands and moved them away from his face to between his hands, "But I want you to be happy, Eve. I-I mean... I wouldn't want you to build me up in your mind into the perfect guy and be disappointed! All I want is for your happiness."

Eve's eyes shone with tears.

"Oh, Jaune," Eve sniffled, "You... You've really grown into a wonderful man... But the years apart... I suppose I must prove my devotion to you!"

"Wait, what?" Jaune managed.

"Yes! You're right! I-I have grown into a very different kind of woman than you remember!"

"You were like thirteen-"

"SO! We will take things slow," Eve said with a nod. She beamed at him. "I have waited this long, I can wait a little longer... And ensure no one's taken my place."

She glared hatefully at Blake, who shrank back.

"We're just friends!" Jaune said quickly. "Blake and I just-We read some books together but that's it! We're just friends!"

"Good! Keep it that way," Eve hissed.

Hoo boy, I am going to have to learn how to wrangle this girl, Jaune thought. Yang smirked at him, and he scowled.

Bet she was thinking of the same bad joke, too...

- - -
 

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