SHINOBI: The RPG - New Game

[MadMarx420]

I want to write that harem nonsense, so we're going there.

Click to shrink...

Fair enough. Not my cup of tea but each to their own.

 

[MasMaud]

Just on the off chance, he should probably think ~ very hard.

 

[Fulcon]

Just on the off chance, he should probably think ~ very hard.

Click to shrink...

Elaborate, my good friend.

 

[Galacticplumber]

Elaborate, my good friend.

Click to shrink...

I think he's talking attempting mental countermeasures in the event his thoughts are being spied. As for why I'd assume the paranoia of Yamanakas or the system's DM being malicious in the thought monitoring.

 

[Edifier]

Author's Note: Chapter 4. I'm noticing that this is way more compressed than the first draft. I

Click to shrink...

If my memory servers right, in the Naruto manga the first D ranks took only 1/3 of a single chapter. While the graduation was about 2 or 3 chapters, the bell test was about 5 or 6 chapters, and the wave mission jumps to 24. After this comes a time skip to exams.
I'd say focusing on the good content and expanding the story within the engaging content is a great idea.

 

[MasMaud]

Elaborate, my good friend.

Click to shrink...

Tilde opens the console. You never know until you try, right?

 

[l---erddad---l]

I'm rereading the spacebattles thread, and for the record: I still like it. Just because you're new stuff is better doesn't mean your old work isn't still good.

 

[Fulcon]

Tilde opens the console. You never know until you try, right?

Click to shrink...

Oh, I see. I thought you were saying he should think about a specific subject matter really hard.

I'll have him do that at some point - or more realistically, have him flashback about trying that as a kid.

Have a cookie.

I'm rereading the spacebattles thread, and for the record: I still like it. Just because you're new stuff is better doesn't mean your old work isn't still good.

Click to shrink...

I appreciate the compliment, but I am hoping that I eventually blow my original work out of the water.

 

[Seij]

Ah, so it begins... Ramen in written form, how I've missed thee. This never fails to summon a packet of instant noodles into my waiting stomach. Such is life. It's been so long I've almost forgotten the taste...

Jokes aside, I'm really liking this rewrite, and I know you'll deliver when you say you want to do something, so I'm not too worried about this being abandoned. I've always bemoaned the way I couldn't experience the same story twice, but oh I have been proven wrong. It's been some time since my last read of your original draft, so this feels fresh! It's like I time travelled back to when I first discovered Shinobi: The RPG. I get to relive it all again, only better and more refined.

Thank you so much for making this possible. I understand growing as a person and that life experience bleeding into your writing. I've had similar experiences. I guess your experiences, wine, and Shinobi: The RPG all have something in common hey?

 

[Kalaong]

I want to write that harem nonsense, so we're going there.

Click to shrink...

Sooo... Hinata possibly has some karma coming her way for being a sweet little cinnamon roll?

 

[Fulcon]

Sooo... Hinata possibly has some karma coming her way for being a sweet little cinnamon roll?

Click to shrink...

Very possible.

 

[RichardWhereat]

Now, this was my last upload for the week.

Click to shrink...

:crying: :sob:

 

[Chara Dreemurr]

"What could possibly go wrong?"

NICHIREN YOU FOOL!

Click to shrink...

Looking forwards to next chapter... There has to be rules in the shinobi handbook about saying 'what could possibly go wrong' due to how often it goes wrong after saying that! It's like turning the difficulty up for extra challenge when you are already up shit creek without a paddle.

 

[Anthony1967]

________
--------\ \
Gimme the chapters and nobody has to get hurt!

 

[RichardWhereat]

Time zones are funny things. For instance, in Eastern Australia, it has been Monday for almost nineteen hours. In other places, less so.

 

[Galacticplumber]

Time zones are funny things. For instance, in Eastern Australia, it has been Monday for almost nineteen hours. In other places, less so.

Click to shrink...

It'll happen when it happens. Nothing good ever came from rushing. If that means I have to spend a few hours finding another activity, and lunch, before riffing on another chapter so be it. I'm flexible.

 

[Fulcon]

The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release.

* * *​

The house blended in so well with Konoha's architecture that I never would've guessed it was a mansion. It had more in common with an apartment building, and maybe that's what it was at one point before getting bought and remodeled.

"I'm just saying," Nichiren-baka began, sounding pretty annoyed. "That's a stupid superstition and you all know it."

I know that you said the cursed phrase and this is a video game.

Well, I'm a video game. The rest of you are manga characters, which isn't any better.

"Normally I'd agree with you, Nichiren," Kakashi replied neutrally. "But I've seen, first hand, that superstition play out."

"Well, I haven't," Nichiren said crossly. "Well, except when I'm Mission Mastering for my friends."

"Mission what?" Hisako asked with a chuckle.

"It's a Shinobi and Shuriken thing," Nichiren answered enthusiastically. "I usually Mission Master and when they say something like that I try to punish them that session for it."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because it's a game and I enjoy making my players suffer."

"Is that why you have no friends?" I asked with a glare.

"Daisuke!" Hisako clapped me on the arm with the back of her fingers.

See, I prefer to PC in campaigns, and every single time I had a disagreement or bad time with the game, it was with the Dungeon Master. Because they seem to think my characters should be responsible for the apocolypse.

Nichiren glared. "Hey, I have friends! Lots of friends! Just none of them are Ninja."

Okay that was a little harsh. Sure, he probably doomed this mission and all our lives by invoking the raw, unfiltered power of Murphy who is cackling down at us and rubbing his hands together in anticipation, but I didn't need to exacerbate the issue.

I'll apologize once we make it out alive.

"Daisuke," Kakashi said with annoyance. "You need to watch your tongue. Especially on missions. If the team isn't working together because of unnecessary drama, it could cost lives."

I know that, you- "Yes, Sensei."

"Now apologize."

"Sorry, Nichiren."

Charisma Check Success: 6/4.

"Good," Kakashi nodded, sounding satisfied. He knocked on the mansion door and it was quickly opened.

At the door stood an older gentleman. His hair was done up in a top-knot and he wore a formal kimono. He was clean shaven. Beneath the kimono he was a really skinny man, but that didn't mean anything.

Basically, he was the picture of a stereotypical Land of Fire butler. Which is probably what he was.

"Ah, Hatake-san," the man said with a bow. "A pleasure to meet you."

We all bowed back.

"That's right," Kakashi replied. "You must be Nagahama-san."

"And this must be your Genin team," He said, looking at all of us with a smile. "Come in, come in."

The mansion was empty. We came to a massive great-room and there was nothing. No furniture, not even a chair. The carpet was a light gray, making the whole house seem like it was made of concrete. No, wait. Not completely empty, there were cleaning supplies piled up in that corner there.

"The house itself is mostly clean," The butler said. "The only things left are the windows and the master bedroom. The basement has some rats that need to be cleared out."

He handed Kakashi the key. "Once you're done, please leave and lock up. We have a team of Realtor's ready to sell the mansion back to Konoha in a few weeks."

"Why in a few weeks?" I immediately asked.

"I do not know," Nagahama replied. "He was also emphatic that I must not return once the mansion was clean. The master of the house was always very eccentric. I would finish the cleaning myself, but I must report to my new position in two hours."

Oh, scheduling conflict. Perfectly explains why he had to hire us.

I'm even more suspicious now.

"Do you know where he is living now?" Kakashi asked.

"He neglected to say." He turned to the door. "Please do not stay overlong. This house has always made me quite nervous and I am glad to be leaving it. Thank you for taking this mission."

Oh no.

"You're welcome," Kakashi said.

We bid the butler farewell and he left immediately without another word. Immediately, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up straight.

I'm going with my gut here and saying that something is wrong.

Quest Updated: Nevermore.

Completed: Follow Kakashi to the House.

Clear the basement of rats.

"Alright," Kakashi began, rubbing his hands together. "Nichiren and Hisako, you both go up to the master bedroom and clean it up. I'll wash the windows. Daisuke, take care of the rats in the basement."

Thank you, 10 Luck.

"Wait, do we have to clean the bathroom?" Hisako immediately asked.

"Yup!" Kakashi eye-smiled. "The sooner you get it done, the sooner you don't have to smell whatever atrocities have been left up there."

"Aw man," Nichiren replied, following Hisako with his shoulders slumped over to the cleaning supplies.

I looked around. "Where is the basement?"

Kakashi stopped. "Huh, that would've been good to ask him."

"He seemed like he was in a hurry," I said with a frown. "I blame the jinx."

"Daisuke," Kakashi rubbed his sole eye.

"I'm serious!" I said throwing my hands up in wild gestures. "There is something wrong with this house. Even the butler said so!"

And butlers are usually closet murderers, if you believe the movies.

"Look, Daisuke," Kakashi said, putting his hand on my shoulder. "I promise I won't let anything happen to you. I can keep an eye on all three of you from here. The second anything happens, I'll be there. Okay?"

I took a breath. Kakashi was an awesome Sensei, even if all the training he had me do was ultimately useless. "Yes, Sensei."

"Good," Kakashi said with a smile.

"I guess I'll go find the basement, then," I said, walking toward a small hallway that went off into a shadow. Hisako and Nichiren were walking up the stairs.

"I think the master bedroom is the one with these massive double doors," Hisako said. I heard the click of a doorknob as she pushed the door open. "Yeah, here it is."

Nice.

The doorway to the basement didn't have a door, just a set of empty hinges and a long stairway to the concrete.

Huh, the basement wasn't finished. Well, okay then. You'd think a super wealthy individual would do that. Guess not, this time.

I slowly walked down the stairs, trying to avoid making sounds with my steps. My boots rested on the concrete when I came to the bottom and I looked around. The window wells let sunlight in through the windows.

My lips were pressed into a thin and anxious line as I looked both ways, trying to find the basement monster that surely lived here. To make it less nerve wracking that I went into the basement of a clearly haunted house, I flipped the light switch.

To my surprise, the lights worked, casting a yellow glow onto the empty room.

With that, I got to work.

The rats were all hidden in little tunnels they made in the insulation. To my dismay, killing them offered no EXP, of which I felt fairly starved. Sure, I was only a few weeks into my service as a Genin but I shouldn't still only be level 6.

Quest Updated: Nevermore.

Completed: Clear the basement of rats.

Reunite with your team.

It was at that very second that I heard a shrill, ear-piercing scream come from upstairs and I bolted. Hisako had apparently found something and if she dies, I'm never forgiving myself!

Hurriedly, I got to the top and wrapped around to the second stair case, going up three floors until I came to the massive double doors that lead to the master bedroom. Turning right through the last set of doors and I came to the bathroom, with a large stepladder having folded out from the ceiling that was way to high for a non-Ninja to get to.

I'm sensing that this was a monster in the attic, not a basement monster.

My final ascent and I joined my team in the attic. There was Hisako, Nichiren and Kakashi-sensei, all standing ahead of me and in the attic.

...oh boy.

Hanging from the rafters were bodies. Human bodies. Three of them on the left, two on the right. Hung from the rafters, they were naked and disemboweled, with blood having dripped and dried on the attic floor. The smell of death, a rancid and stomach churning miasma hung in the air and I had to suppress the urge to vomit.

On the support beams for the roof and on the floor, there was writing. The ravings of a madman, begging for forgiveness, saying that he had done grievous wrong...I had seen a couple of room full of crazies on TV, but experiencing them was something else.

I almost threw up.

Almost.

"What happened?" I asked once I swallowed my vomit, leaving a burning feeling in my throat.

"I smelled something disgusting in the bathroom," Nichiren, who did vomit, turned to tell us. "But it wasn't coming from the toilet and we couldn't get rid of it no matter how hard we scrubbed, so Hisako decided to look up here."

"This merchant guy is obviously an insane murderer," Hisako said with a gasp, she having been holding her breath.

Don't blame her, the smell is death.

Kakashi turned to me, not even phased by this display of death. "Daisuke, did you know something about this?"

"No, I didn't know anything," I replied, shaking my head rapidly. "This is all news to me."

Charisma Check Success: 6/3.

Kakashi closed his eye, and opened it again. "Okay, but what did you know?"

I make a questioning noise.

"After I told you about this mission, you went pale as a ghost," Kakashi explained. "So you might not have known about this, you did know something."

Hisako and Nichiren were both looking at me without saying anything.

...well...I mean, it had to come out sooner or later. I guess. Maybe I can just tell them some chunks.

"I didn't want to say anything because I wasn't sure you'd believe me," I began, shuffling uncomfortably where I stood. "Because it's weird."

"Well, let's get out of this attic to someplace we can talk," Kakashi started, looking back at the insanity Hisako found in the attic. "Daisuke, I can promise you, I won't let anything happen to you."

See, I believe you, but the Hokage's word is law and he might be more than a little freaked out by my quest notifications.

It was at that second, the stepladder that lead up to the attic snapped shut and then I heard movement. From down below. Not a little movement, not a medium amount of movement, but a lot of movement. As if the world itself shifted beneath the attic we were standing in.

"Sensei?" Hisako asked quietly.

Kakashi-sensei walked over to the door and stomped on it. It fell open and his eye started to bug out of it's socket.

I ran over and saw...oh.

That's not good.

Instead of a bathroom, it was a hallway. A concrete hallway with a blood trail across the floor, as if someone was being dragged across the floor.

Well, I'm annoyed. I thought I signed up to play Fallout, not Amnesia.

And I'm beyond terrified, but that goes without saying.

Kakashi pulled his Hitai-ate up, revealing his crimson Sharingan. He looked into my eyes, and crouched down. "Okay, change of plans. Daisuke, tell me everything you know."

"I don't know anything, that's the truth," I replied rapidly. "I only knew this mission was going to be really hard."

"Okay," Kakashi nodded. "How?"

"When I get missions, I get a text notification," I was full-on explaining at full speed and there was nothing I could do to stop it. "The mission gets a name and I get a to-do list on how to complete the mission."

Kakashi didn't say anything.

"So what made this mission different?" Nichiren asked quietly.

"Usually, the missions are labeled D-Rank: Weeding at Yoshimitsu's or something," I said. "You know, very bland names that don't say anything."

"But this one was different?" Kakashi asked, turning my head to look into my eye with the Sharingan again.

"Yeah," I nodded.

"What was it called?"

"Nevermore," I said, then froze.

I just used it's English name. Why do I even get quests in English? What's a good translation? Crap, crap, crap, craaaaaaaap…

Kakashi repeated the title, sounding confused with that thick accent I knew he'd have if he ever tried to pronounce an English word. "Is that some kind of code?"

"Yes!" I said with relief. "It's code. The code I get all my notifications in."

Because when you think about it, all language is code.

Charisma Check Success: 6/6.

Speech Check Failure: 34/40.

Oh come on, game.

"And what is it code for?" Kakashi asked, his eye narrowing.

I provided him with the direct translation for the expression 'never again'. Less poetic, but clarity was more important than panache. "I don't know why it's named the way it is."

"It's probably just a mission naming convention," Kakashi explained. "Broken Steel, Point Lookout, Wolf Queen? All names for actual missions and combat actions I've been on."

Wait, shoot. He's just providing me with a perfect explanation for everything. Thank you, Luck Stat!

"So what does your to-do list tell you to do right now?" Kakashi asked.

"It told me to reunite with my team," I told him with absolute honesty. "It hasn't updated yet."

"Why not?"

"Because we haven't finished with this conversation yet," I replied immediately. "It's finnicky like that."

Kakashi's single eye blinked. "Alright. Is there anything else about this mission we need to know?"

"Aside from the title, this mission is just as much a mystery to me as it is to you," I told. "That is the honest truth. I've got no idea what's waiting for us."

Kakashi sighed, then stood up. "Listen up. Normally, a team has to wait to leave the village for a mission to go completely sideways like this. I guess we're unlucky."

I was not going to point out that Nichiren jinxed us again; it wouldn't help.

But I wanted to.

"Just keep calm, follow orders and don't try to be a hero," Kakashi directed with the decisiveness of a veteran. "Once we leave the house, the ANBU is going to go over the whole place with toothbrush's to figure out how this place wound up in the middle of Konoha the way it is."

Ooh, making our escape seem guaranteed from the outset. He is good!

"We will make it out," Kakashi said. "I swore I wouldn't let anything happen to you, and I will keep that promise. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sensei!" We all chorused.

"Good," Kakashi said. He pointed down at the far wall. "Now, I need you to stand back, I'm going to try to break through there."

Smart. Just sequence break our way out of the level entirely and skip the quest inspired by Dunwich. Seriously, the theme of those places are great, but it is not 'first quest of the game' great. And they're only great when you're on the other side of the screen!

We all moved out of the way. Sensei flew through handseals so fast I couldn't even see them.

Perception Check Failure: 5/9.

Yes, game. I just covered that.

After Kakashi was done, he was holding a literal fist-full of lightning. Then he lowered it to the floor and charged forward.

"Chidori!"

Fun fact, the reason you shout the name of the technique you're doing is so your allies know what you're doing and if they need to get out of the way, in addition to it's help as a focus. According to the books, the fact that your enemies know what you're doing is an acceptable trade-off.

I hard disagree, but I can't deny that it looks cool.

He ran forward so fast that I could've blinked and missed him, thrusting the jutsu right into the wall.

Sadly, and I should've guessed this would've happened, the Chidori did not break through the wall. When the jutsu made impact, the entire attic lit up as previously unseen seals made themselves known by illuminating us with crimson light.

Kakashi looked around the attic and sighed. "Of course, that would be too easy."

"That should've worked," Hisako said, looking up at the seals as their light slowly dissipated. "I've read about that Jutsu. It cut a lightning bolt! It should've worked. Why didn't it work?"

"Kai!" Kakashi snapped harshly, cutting off Hisako's complaining, his fingers in a hand sign.

Nothing about our environment changed.

"We go the long way, then," Kakashi said. pointing toward the trap door. "Follow me."

Quest Updated: Nevermore.

Completed: Reunite with your team.

Find a way out of the house.

"Hold up, just got an update," I chimed with a raised finger.

"What does it say?" Kakashi asked.

"It's telling me to find a way out of the house," I replied with a nod.

"That's not helpful," Hisako remarked, completely deadpan.

"It's really not," I agreed with a nod.

"Does it tell you how to find a way out of the house?" Nichiren asked curiously, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"No." I shook my head.

"That's annoying," Nichiren said, looking over his head at the bodies. "Can we...leave the attic, please?"

"Let's go, everyone," Kakashi said, gesturing for us to follow him.

We dropped down into the hallway. Ahead of us was a door, made out of steel. Behind us was a wall, nothing there.

Kakashi took a spot next to the door and at Sensei's hand-sign, we lined up on the opposite wall. Before Kakashi could do anything, we heard a loud snap.

I turned my head just in time to see that the attic stairs had retracted into the ceiling and the door to the attic was swiftly covered by concrete that flowed like it was alive.

Okay then.

Hisako gulped. Nichiren huddled in on himself, trying to make himself small. I don't know what my nervous reaction was, but something inside me had gone very cold.

Kakashi snapped with his fingers, signed for us to keep focused on him and the mission.

Take a breath.

Everything is going to be okay.

I'm being escorted by one of the highest level npc's in the setting.

I mean, he's a person, not an NPC but...he's high level and can protect us. We'll be fine. Right?

Kakashi opened the door slowly and my ears were graced by the grating, piercing sound of steel grinding on steel. At that moment, Sensei threw the door open and jumped in with a kunai drawn. After an eternity of holding my breath…

"It's clear."

We walked in through the door, shutting it behind us. I saw that we had entered some kind of prison block, with cells of iron bars on both sides. At the end was another door.

"They used to keep people in here?" Hisako asked, sounding shaken.

"Looks like it." I don't know if it's better or worse that there's no skeletons in the cells. Better in that it means no one literally starved to death in here. Worse because...that means something happened to them.

Judging from the smears of black and red, they had definitely been occupied at one point.

"The real question is why," Nichiren said, his voice shaking.

"Focus on getting out," Kakashi-sensei immediately cut in.

At that second, something lunged out from one of the cells, an arm reaching out for Hisako. She screamed...but she also buried her kunai in her attacker.

Her attacker was a...blob. A gray, cement blob that that had arms and legs in the crude fascimile of a human. The featureless head which Hisako had buried her kunai in closed around the blade, and then her hand. With another scream, Hisako yanked her hand out and backed away as the thing, walked through the bars like a monster made out of mush.

It's movements were slow and erratic, even as Kakashi surged forward to put himself between us and it. With another jutsu, he threw a lightning bolt directly at the thing's torso and it exploded into a thousand pieces.

Ten Ryo says it pulls itself together.

...no?

Alright, I owe myself ten Ryo.

I whirled around as the sound of mud sliding across metal and found myself face to face with another one of those things, reaching for me and trying to attack me.

Uh...crap…

My heart was pounding in my ears. I could feel my eyes trying to escape their sockets as this thing lunged after me.

...wait…

I ducked, then ran around the cement thing as it tried to tackle me. I tripped over my shadow and found myself inching away on my butt, trying to get away from this thing.

...what was I supposed to do?

Then Kakashi made it explode with another lightning bolt.

Okay!

Life is okay.

I'm alive.

I'm safe.

We're good.

"Daisuke, are you okay?" Hisako immediately asked, running over to me and helping me up.

"Yeah," I said with a nod. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just kind of…"

"Froze?" Hisako asked kindly.

"Yeah," I nodded again, more rapidly.

"Mom and Dad both say that happens to everyone on their first mission," Hisako said quickly. "Don't worry about it, nothing to be ashamed of."

"Uh, guys?" Nichiren cut in, pointing down the hall. "We've got company."

I looked down the hall at the cells we passed and watched as a flash mob of cement facsimiles walked out of their cells and started quickly lumbering toward us.

"Everyone through the next door," Kakashi barked, pointing at the door we had been walking towards. "Hisako, keep your kunai ready and be ready to close the door behind me."

"Yes, sensei!" Hisako said.

We ran for the door, listening as lightning cracked and snapped behind us, destroying the things as they charged in on us. Hisako pulled over the door with great protest from the rusty hinges. Nichiren and I dove through the doorway.

A second later, I heard the door slam shut and Kakashi was standing in front of us. Nichiren and I quickly stood up.

We found ourselves in some kind of...concert hall. Yeah, it was a concert hall. There was a stage with music stands left on it, some knocked over, another missing it's top. Opposite the stage were chairs and way up near the roof was a booth. What was in there?

"Well, that was interesting," Kakashi said with an eye-smile. "They were basically harmless. Too slow."

"Uh, Sensei?" Hisako said, sounding a little panicked.

I turned to the door and saw that the concrete was leaking in through the edges of the doors.

Kakashi ran forward, going through seals faster than the eye could blink-

Perception Check Failed: 5/9.

-shut up, game! And slammed his hands on the ground. Then the room lit up in scarlet seals, much like in the attic.

"That's a little annoying," Kakashi muttered to himself. Then he paused, did another jutsu and this time, he placed his hands on the door.

Perception Check failed: 5/7.

Seriously, game?

But then this time, the jutsu went through, the door electrifying. On the other side, I could've sworn I heard an explosion, maybe a chain of them. Kakashi took slow, cautious steps away from the door, to make sure the monsters from the jail cells really stopped.

They weren't trying to eke in through the door cracks.

"Okay," Kakashi let out a breath.

"How did the jutsu go through?" I asked with confusion.

"The door didn't have any seals on it," Kakashi replied with an eye-smile. "Lucky for us."

It didn't? Must've been what I missed. Made sense, though.

"I wonder why," Hisako asked curiously, looking at the steel door with her fingers on her chin.

"I don't think we should question it," Kakashi chided lightly.

"I think we should explore the room before we leave," I suggested. "You know, because we don't want to miss anything important, like a key to the front door."

"I have the key," Kakashi replied, fishing the key out of his pocket and showing me with an 'eye-smile'.

"Oh, right." I felt kind of dumb. "But there could be other doors."

"That is true," Kakashi replied.

"Like that booth up there," Hisako said, pointing upward. "Let me take a look."

She placed her foot on the wall and tried to walk up. Tried, because when she did, the wall lit up in red seals and she couldn't stick, her foot slipping as she tried to take a step. Thankfully, she caught herself before falling straight on her back. "What is going on?"

"The walls eat chakra," Nichiren pointed out blandly.

"Yes, I can see that, Nichiren!" Hisako barked back in annoyance.

"Hey, hey," Kakashi cut them off. "Take a breath. We'll make it out. At least we're not dealing with an enemy Shinobi."

Yet.

"There is a door," Kakashi said, pointing to, well, one of three doors. One leading further on directly ahead of where we came out of, another just to the right of that door, a little further in and then the third door was in the right wall. I think that's the one he was talking about.

Charisma Check Success: 6/6.

Yes!

"That one might take us to the booth," Kakashi said. "We will go as a group."

The door was mercifully silent as it opened, and the stairs it led to did bring us to the booth. Inside was equipment, the kind that you'd see in musical production booth with it's buttons and knobs….I didn't know the name, though.

But on the top of the console was a tape player; something I had forgotten existed. But then, earpieces and walkies-talkie's existed, so why not a tape player?

"Nothing," Nichiren said, shaking his head. "Well, at least we checked."

"I'm keeping the tape player," I said, pointing to it.

"Why?" Hisako asked with confusion, nervously twirling her remaining kunai by the ring.

"Because it might be useful later," I replied, trying to smile in spite of everything. "Besides, I want one."

"Daisuke, lugging around a tape player is only going to slow us down," Kakashi admonished, sounding very tired all of a sudden.

"Storage scrolls."

Kakashi froze for a second, then shrugged. "Alright, but don't take it out until we leave."

"Yes, Sensei."

I put the player in my scroll and the scroll back on my belt.

"Can we go now?" Hisako asked with a frown, looking around the studio with an anxious edge in her eyes.

"Yup!"

* * *​

Author's Note: The chapters are getting shorter and shorter as I'm finding it hard to keep up the gargantuan size of the first couple chapters. But, I am really happy with this chapter and I hope that, when you get the chance to read it, that you'll like the chapter too.

The first time around with the Monster House, I slapped Daisuke into a Genjutsu. I thought it'd be a cool mind-screw and that everyone would catch on immediately that Daisuke's mind was being messed with. Instead, it wound up being confusing and I never really talked about it again so it wasn't that important in the grand scheme of things.

This time around, I'm exploring the house as more of a living entity in its own right. It feels like the rules are established much more clearly here in this chapter; the house rearranges itself and spits out clay monsters. No Genjutsu because things like that don't really work without proper foreshadowing and I didn't feel it necessary this time.

Something new is the tape player. I wanted this thing to be a straighter, video game dungeon and in modern games, that includes 'apocalypse logs' or journals left by the people who came before. It's a pretty interesting device and with it, I'm going to be able to throw in some additional foreshadowing that I couldn't do in the first draft simply because I was trying to make my foreshadowing as subtle as possible; the problem with subtle is that most people miss it and then complain when the thing I was trying to build up slaps them in the face while they weren't paying attention. So I'm going to avoid that this time around by spoon-feeding it to you, by comparison.

...I needed to get that off my chest.

P.S: I had to delete the post when I realized that there was a formatting issue. Sorry for the inconvenience.

P.P.S: Wait, holy cow. There's a remove formatting button! I'm going to use that! Forever!

Shout out to Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Hackerham, Tim Collins-Squire, Maben00, Ventari, PbookR, Seij, ChristobalAlvarez, Apperatus, EPiCJB19, Seeking Raven, Handwran, Russel Beatrous and Richard Whereat. You guys are amazing! Thank you for your continued support!

Until the next time!

~Fulcon

 

[tamagat]

the death god exist in naruto, so therefore freaky ghostly haunted semi sentient house exist somewhere there too, its bad luck that one is found in konoha.

 

[Galacticplumber]

Okay yes, xenoblade route on the clairvoyance sharing. Kakashi picked up on that shit immediately, and everyone's taking it seriously. Good. I always did find The Cassandra an infuriating contrivance.

In other news taking bets on whether Daisuke realizes he should further contextualize his snipe at Nichiren as being born from the stress of being on edge, and that he will try to avoid such in future, so long as future concerns he has good evidence for treating seriously aren't dismissed. Counts as having six Cha has good odds on it.

As a tip for the balance I tend to find works best, generally the safe route is to make it fairly obvious that SOMETHING non-obvious is happening, but not to reveal what. It's not as satisfying as the full subtle plot twist, but it's easier to pull off, and the audience is less likely to complain. Isn't as necessary this time as most of the readership is probably initiated, but it may prove handy in future.

There's also more advanced variants like hiding more elaborate twists inside of more standard ones to STILL catch the alerted audience off guard even while giving them fair warning, or throwing in a subversion of expectations or two. The more stuff like this happens, and the more elaborate it is, the more audience will come to expect and attempt to predict it. Train them well enough, and they'll start predicting things you never planned that still sound like good ideas to use later in an altered context.

If I had to guess what happened the first time, the displayed genre of the story generally doesn't have things that subtle, and most weird things happening could be explained as genre conventions. When seeing a pattern that conforms to reasonably to expectations, people are less likely to look deeper, and are more resistant to patterns that don't conform to expectations.

It's an unfortunate flaw in human cognition. We evolved to see patterns and act decisively upon them, because that was a good staying alive skill. Comparatively, twisting narratives literally haven't existed long enough for us to adapt to them on the genetic level, which is why training like mentioned above is often necessary.

Thank you for sticking around until the end of tangential, but relevant Ted Talk. You've been a wonderful audience.

 

[Darkarma]

I put the player in my scroll and the scroll back on my belt.

* * *

Author's Note: The chapters are getting shorter and shorter as I'm finding it hard to keep up the gargantuan size of the first couple chapters. But, I am really happy with this chapter and I hope that, when you get the chance to read it, that you'll like the chapter too.

Click to shrink...

Good chapter but this seems like an odd place to end it.

It doesn't have to be a cliffhanger but instead maybe a line or two more like:

I nodded and sealed it up. Maybe Kakshi saying something like, "Lets go." or Daisuke saying "Ready." {Insert transition line of going somewhere}

Something that acts as a good segue for the next chapter's first action cause the moment it just feels odd.

 

[Fulcon]

Something that acts as a good segue for the next chapter's first action cause the moment it just feels odd.

Click to shrink...

Good point.

Let's see if I can add something...

EDIT:

Added a segue to the end of the chapter. Thoughts?

"Can we go now?" Hisako asked with a frown, looking around the studio with an anxious edge in her eyes.

"Yup!"

Click to shrink...

EDIT EDIT:

Okay yes, xenoblade route on the clairvoyance sharing. Kakashi picked up on that shit immediately, and everyone's taking it seriously. Good. I always did find The Cassandra an infuriating contrivance.

In other news taking bets on whether Daisuke realizes he should further contextualize his snipe at Nichiren as being born from the stress of being on edge, and that he will try to avoid such in future, so long as future concerns he has good evidence for treating seriously aren't dismissed. Counts as having six Cha has good odds on it.

As a tip for the balance I tend to find works best, generally the safe route is to make it fairly obvious that SOMETHING non-obvious is happening, but not to reveal what. It's not as satisfying as the full subtle plot twist, but it's easier to pull off, and the audience is less likely to complain. Isn't as necessary this time as most of the readership is probably initiated, but it may prove handy in future.

There's also more advanced variants like hiding more elaborate twists inside of more standard ones to STILL catch the alerted audience off guard even while giving them fair warning, or throwing in a subversion of expectations or two. The more stuff like this happens, and the more elaborate it is, the more audience will come to expect and attempt to predict it. Train them well enough, and they'll start predicting things you never planned that still sound like good ideas to use later in an altered context.

If I had to guess what happened the first time, the displayed genre of the story generally doesn't have things that subtle, and most weird things happening could be explained as genre conventions. When seeing a pattern that conforms to reasonably to expectations, people are less likely to look deeper, and are more resistant to patterns that don't conform to expectations.

It's an unfortunate flaw in human cognition. We evolved to see patterns and act decisively upon them, because that was a good staying alive skill. Comparatively, twisting narratives literally haven't existed long enough for us to adapt to them on the genetic level, which is why training like mentioned above is often necessary.

Thank you for sticking around until the end of tangential, but relevant Ted Talk. You've been a wonderful audience.

Click to shrink...

See, I tried to do this the first time around, but I wasn't as good as I thought I was and wound up butchering it. Now, I don't have the patience to try subtle anymore, so we're going for a more blatant mix.

 

[Pavalos]

Another great chapter. Thank you

 

[Fulcon]

Another great chapter. Thank you

Click to shrink...

Many thanks.

Have a cookie.

 

[Galacticplumber]

I totally get the lack of patience. Trying something that burned you in the past is hard. Doubly so when it requires lots of time and effort. Triply so when you're still in the setup phase of your third draft of a story. I'd shout fuck it, and go something more direct, and utilitarian too.

Also, in the event that I ever try to write things, I'll regularly say really ominous things while setting up as many twists as logical such that even if a few of them are guessed by an attentive audience, there's still shocks.

 

[Zerothewarhound]

the descriptions of the locations that they were in reminded me of the call of duty black ops zombie maps the prison and the movie theater maps i forget there official names just without the zombies so far

 

[Darkarma]

Good point.

Let's see if I can add something...

Click to shrink...

Sorry for the delay, work called. And yes much better.

 

[CmirDarthanna]

Will make up increase his Charisma?

 

[Fulcon]

I totally get the lack of patience. Trying something that burned you in the past is hard. Doubly so when it requires lots of time and effort. Triply so when you're still in the setup phase of your third draft of a story. I'd shout fuck it, and go something more direct, and utilitarian too.

Click to shrink...

Yeah...it's downright demoralizing when it happens.

the descriptions of the locations that they were in reminded me of the call of duty black ops zombie maps the prison and the movie theater maps i forget there official names just without the zombies so far

Click to shrink...

I never played the zombie mode myself. Some of the inspiration for this setup was actually Bendy and the Ink Machine.

Sorry for the delay, work called. And yes much better.

Click to shrink...

Very good!

Thanks for your assistance.

Will make up increase his Charisma?

Click to shrink...

Probably, but it clash's with a henge since that basically does the same thing - they don't stack, and the highest modifier would be applied.

 

[Galacticplumber]

Yeah...it's downright demoralizing when it happens.



I never played the zombie mode myself. Some of the inspiration for this setup was actually Bendy and the Ink Machine.



Very good!

Thanks for your assistance.



Probably, but it clash's with a henge since that basically does the same thing - they don't stack, and the highest modifier would be applied.

Click to shrink...

And now we're all thinking of a spy movie suitup montage complete with tux, and tiny mechanical arms lowering a pair of sunglasses onto his calmly waiting face.

One should never be afraid to subject one's self to ever higher levels of camp for stat bonuses.

 

[Chara Dreemurr]

According to the books, the fact that your enemies know what you're doing is an acceptable trade-off.

I hard disagree, but I can't deny that it looks cool.

Click to shrink...

Even if Kakashi didn't call out the attacks name, he is a famous ninja and everyone basically knows what to expect. Also it is loud and obvious so the trade-off of calling out it's name is not a downside at all. And with the ninja techniques people aren't supposed to be aware of? Now that is where people are quiet about the name of it or the activation of it even in the show for the most part.