Part Thirty-Four: A New Era
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Snek is a Good Boy
Part Thirty-Four: A New Era
[A/N: This chapter commissioned by @Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]
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♦ Topic: Snek vs Spicy Food
In: Boards ► Megathreads ► Weird Stuff ► Our Snekky Overlord
Dragon (Original Poster) (Veteran Member) (Verified Cape) (Protectorate Cape) (Guild Member) (Verified Snek Fan)
Posted On Jun 14th 2011:
Well, he did it.
If you're wondering who 'he' is, you clearly didn't check the title of the board you're in. As for what he did, it's what the majority of the civilized world, at least that part of it that's tapped into the internet, has been waiting for since he made fish fingers out of Leviathan and chicken tenders out of the Simurgh.
Yes, folks. He killed Behemoth.
Now if you're wondering why it's me reporting it rather than someone else, that's because I saw it happen (well, one of my satellites picked up on it) so I got the footage first.
Sequence of events:
Late yesterday afternoon (Eastern Daylight Time: GMT-4) I started picking up earth tremors indicating that the big B was on the move, fast. In fact, as my analysis software determined (yes, it's that good) there were *two* big things down there. Snek had burrowed into the earth and was chasing Behemoth.
I'll just let you sit back and think about that for a moment.
Around midnight, Snek temporarily gave up the chase. It seems that, underground at least, Behemoth was able to stay ahead of him. But then he pulled another trick out of wherever he keeps them (he has a few, I know).
Those of you on here who are familiar with the international cape community would know of the African cape warlord Moord Nag ('Murder Night'). If you're really well informed, you'd know she's a Master, projecting a snake-like shadowy creature with a random animal skull for a head (if you didn't know that before, now you do). She calls the projection Aasdier ('Scavenger').
Or rather, she *was* a Master. As of this post, she hasn't been seen (by anyone who's talking about it) for thirty-six hours. But what Snek apparently called on was Aasdier, complete with lion skull for a head.
I have many, many questions.
Back to the action. I didn't see Aasdier at first. All I knew was that something was forcing Behemoth to the surface, and Snek was following along on top. it was only when Behemoth breached the surface (in Death Valley, which I choose to believe was deliberate on Snek's part) that I even figured out what was going on. Mostly, anyway.
So, the rest of the action (it really wasn't a fight) can be seen on this [footage] that I gathered with my satellites and a suit I sent in at short notice. It's all been spliced together in chronological sequence and enhanced as well as I can make it. We kind of missed out on most of Leviathan and the Simurgh going down like chumps, but hopefully this makes up for it.
Enjoy.
(Showing page 1 of 675)
►XxVoid_CowboyxX
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
Wait. Is this ... is this real? I mean, Dragon's posting it, so ...
Holy crap. If this is real, this is huge.
Snek, you da MAN.
►GoodGirlRiley
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
No, Snek is a snek.
And he's a very good boy.
►Mouse_Protector (Veteran Member) (Verified Cape) (Independent Hero) (Purveyor of Cheesy Puns) (Verified Snek Fan)
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
Woo hoo! My bestest Snek buddy has done it again!
Snek, you're totally a good boy.
Isn't he just the Snekkiest Snek who ever Snekked?
►Brocktonite03 (Veteran Member) (Verified Snek Fan)
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
I, for one, welcome our new Snek overlord.
►Bagrat (The Guy in the Know) (Veteran Member)
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
Well, that's officially three for three.
Just goes to show, Behemoth was smart enough not to want anything to do with Snek.
Not that it saved him.
I, also, have questions about Aasdier. Moord Nag is definitely AWOL, so did Snek pay her a visit first?
►EmptyEyedMask
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
I get it, Snek, sometimes you just need some spicy food.
Now, where can we find a dumptruck full of Carolina Reapers? I have the urge to make a metric ton of atomic chilli.
►ToxicSnark
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
inb4 Uber and Leet set up a parody of Hot Ones for the best boi.
►Uber (Verified Cape)
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
We're gonna pass on this one, just in case something goes wrong and we get Snek mad at us.
►BlueSnake (Verified Not Snek)
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
There are capes like Eidolon who might be able to kill an Endbringer if they could be protected long enough, and the target immobilised long enough, to pull off a critical hit.
And then there's the level of power where you chase down an Endbringer that's trying to run, tank everything it can throw at point blank range, and eat the whole thing, one bite at a time, as it tries and fails to get away.
End of Page. 1, 2, 3 ... 673, 674, 675
Tattletale
Lisa closed down the thread after the first page. The question (such as it was) had been answered. Snek was manifestly capable of both killing and eating Behemoth, and had done so with considerable gusto and glee.
Not that anyone had actually believed he couldn't, after his showing with Leviathan. All there had been left to argue about was when he would get around to it, and (more importantly) how long it would take him to finish ingesting the first Endbringer, once he started.
As she understood matters, there were tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of dollars due to change hands, from people betting on the latter. She would've gotten involved in the online betting pools—someone with an eye for the main chance could make serious money there—except that as a probationary Ward in the making, that would cause Armsmaster to clear his throat and Director Piggot to raise an eyebrow. It was a scrutiny she could do without.
However, that didn't mean she was entirely without options.
"Okay," she said briskly, pulling out a piece of paper and unfolding it. "I make the time between first bite and last burp at two minutes thirty-three seconds. My personal pick was …" She rechecked the paper. "Two forty-five. Is anyone closer than twelve seconds?"
The other Wards around the room checked their selected times. Lisa watched as Dennis' lips moved in a hopeful attempt at mental math. Chris didn't even bother; he just pulled out a calculator and started plugging in numbers.
"Ugh, no," Carlos grumped. "I had three minutes clean. How the hell could he eat something that big, so fast?"
"Ooh, ooh, two minutes twenty," Missy enthused, then gave Lisa a hard stare. "How sure are you of that last second?"
"Hmm. Let's watch it again." If anyone else had challenged her on that, Lisa would've shut them down hard, but she had a soft spot for the earnest little munchkin. Being younger than everyone else, Vista tried harder, and it showed. Also, her power had the potential to be frankly terrifying if she ever went full ham with it, so Lisa had decided it wouldn't hurt to stay on her good side.
They ran through the footage again, everyone crowding around the laptop. The flash of fang as Snek latched onto Behemoth's leg was clear to see, and Vista started her phone timer at that point. As they watched the resultant carnage, the only thing missing was the sound effects. Lisa knew damn well that someone would re-post the footage with appropriate (or inappropriate) audio within a day.
As the last rocky-skinned silver-fleshed chunk of Endbringer vanished down the massive snake's gullet, Vista tapped her phone again to end the timer. Lisa looked at the number. It read 2:32.51.
Well, crap.
"Um, that actually looks like a tie," Chris ventured after a moment. "Twelve and a half seconds each way."
As Dennis and Carlos murmured in agreement, Lisa decided not to argue over the finer points of one hundredth of a second. Because again … stay on the good side of the hero who can flatten downtown Brockton Bay without breaking a sweat.
"A tie, it is," she agreed. "Nicely done, Missy."
"Damn right." Missy gave her a high-five, then turned to the others. "Okay, boys. Pay up."
With only a moderate amount of grumbling, the guys pulled out their various tokens. Gambling for money was a flat no-no with the Wards (especially since Dean could easily outbid them all with the allowance his parents gave him) but this was a loophole that had apparently been around since the Wards base had opened. The tokens represented chores that could be handed off, or shifts to be swapped, on presentation by the holder.
As Chris borrowed the laptop and started the footage running again—it was extremely watchable, if a little gruesome—Lisa and Missy divided the tokens up between them. Lisa was fully aware of Missy's crush on Dean, so she deliberately took the ones belonging to Chris and Dennis, leaving Missy to take Carlos'.
"Still think you've got an unfair advantage," Dennis groused, but he made no move to try to claim his tokens back.
Missy rolled her eyes. "And yet you still bet against her."
"Exactly," agreed Lisa. "Anyway, I doubt I could ever outguess Snek, powers or no powers."
"We don't know that you can't," Carlos pointed out.
"Really." Lisa looked over at Dean. "Have you met Snek yet? I can't remember." Lies, but she had a reason for bringing Dean into the conversation.
"I have, yeah." Dean shuddered. "He saved me and Chris and a bunch of civilians when the Fallen came to town and took over Fugly's. I remember him eating Valefor and Mama Mathers alive, just like that."
"Right, right, got it." Lisa raised her eyebrows interrogatively. "What did your power tell you when you looked at him?"
"It showed Snek's aura has a whole other set of colours, ones I've never seen on anyone else. At first I thought it meant he was hiding stuff from us, but then I realised that his colours just aren't the same as our colours."
"Okay, so he's a weird snake from a whole other world." Chris spread his hands. "What does that prove?"
Lisa shook her head. "It proves that Dean can't get a bead on Snek, any more than I can."
"How does it prove that?" Dennis whined.
"Because emotion is emotion," Dean snapped, fed up with Dennis' bellyaching. "It doesn't matter whether you're an alien, a pet or a human. Happy is happy and sad is sad and the colours are constant. Snek's colours are every other colour, because his existence naturally messes with my powers." He went as far as to cuff Dennis across the back of the head. "Get it now, dumbass?"
"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Dennis gave Dean a dirty look. "Do that again and I will draw on your face." He left out the 'after I freeze you' but everyone heard it anyway.
Dean made a rude noise. "Good luck getting close enough to me."
Lisa leaned back in the couch and grinned as the banter went on. It was totally different from the Undersiders, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.
Also, not having to brush dog hair off her costume was a definite plus.
Upstairs, in the Director's Office
Director Piggot, PRT ENE
"Well." Emily knew she was quoting Dragon, but it really needed to be said out loud. "He did it. He really, actually did it."
On the one hand, she hadn't really doubted that he could; on the other, capes had been trying to destroy Behemoth for nineteen years, with exactly zero success. There had been the nagging thought that the Hero-Killer might be a tougher takedown than Leviathan and the Simurgh, but the only 'tougher' aspect was the fact that he'd been harder to catch up with. Behemoth, in other words, had seen Snek coming and wanted nothing to do with him.
Emily couldn't exactly blame him for that. There was nothing that terrified her more than the idea of having something like Snek pursuing her, relentless and literally unstoppable. No matter how far or fast she ran, his fangs would be waiting for her when she got to where she was going.
I am so glad he's on our side.
Sapphire chirped and eased her head under Emily's hand. The contact served to dispel the chill that had briefly danced up and down Emily's spine, and a sense of calm spread through her mind. She smiled and hitched one shoulder forward; Sapphire took the hint, and hopped over to perch on the proffered shoulder.
"You know what?" Emily said as she reached up to scratch the little dragon under the chin. "There's nothing knocking down my door right this minute, and I just watched a giant snake eat an Endbringer alive. Which means that either I'm dreaming or this is officially a Good Day. Either way, we've earned a moment of 'us' time. So what say we go up to the roof, and you show me just how far and fast you can fly?"
Sapphire's head came up, and she chirped enthusiastically. She'd already been for an outing on the previous evening when Emily took her home, but it had been getting dark and she hadn't stayed up long. Today it was bright and sunny, and Emily figured she had a better chance to really get out and fly.
Reaching out, she pressed the intercom button, then paused. Lifting her finger, she clicked the button to make it a building-wide call. "Attention, all. This is the Director. As some of you may have heard, I've been given the care of a hearth-dragon. If any off-duty personnel are interested, I will be taking her up to the roof in the next five minutes to let her stretch her wings. Piggot, out."
The building was sturdily built, so she couldn't actually detect the vibrations echoing from floor to floor, but as she let herself out of her office, she could almost swear the place had begun swarming like a kicked anthill. From the way Sapphire looked around, Emily suspected she could actually feel the emotional uproar. More to the point, she seemed to be looking forward to showing off in front of a crowd. From Emily's extremely limited experience with hearth-dragons, shyness was not something they tended to suffer from.
They rode up in the elevator. When the doors opened and Emily stepped out onto the roof, Sapphire's interest sharpened and she spread her wings, though she remained on Emily's shoulder. Emily walked out toward the helipad marking on the roof, fully aware for the first time of the city spread out around her.
She'd been up on the roof many times before, but only as a prelude to getting on a chopper and going somewhere else. This time, it almost felt as though she were seeing it through Sapphire's eyes: a wonderful high place for taking off and soaring on the breeze.
Is this what it's like to be bonded?
It seemed to Emily that Brandish had known when she herself bonded to … what was the silver hearth-dragon's name? Argent? That sounded about right.
In any case, Emily figured that if she wasn't certain, it probably meant they weren't actually bonded yet. Though the empathic impressions suggested to her that they were well on the way. Which was nice, because over the last twenty-odd hours, Sapphire had definitely been growing on her.
Wait, when do I ever think of something as 'nice'?
Emily frowned, thinking that over. Stopping in the middle of the 'H', she turned to look as the first of the potential spectators began to flood out onto the roof. "Excuse me," she called out. "I need a volunteer with a phone."
Phones appeared as if by magic—which really should have been no surprise to her—and she pointed out the nearest person, an analyst called Bethany Henderson. When she beckoned, Henderson came closer. "Yes, ma'am?"
Emily raised her eyebrows. "Do you have cat videos on your phone?"
"Um …" Henderson dragged her eyes away from where Sapphire was still perched on Emily's shoulder. "Ma'am?"
Emily tried not to let impatience creep into her tone. "Cat videos. You look like a cat video person. Do you have them?"
"No, ma'am, but I can find one online easily enough." Henderson fiddled with her phone, then showed Emily the screen. Sapphire leaned in to watch as well, as an admittedly cute kitten tumbled over and over with a ball of yarn as big as it was.
Emily had never been big on videos like that, and even now it only roused mild interest in her. But the weird thing was, she was beginning to feel Sapphire's amusement, separate from hers. The word 'nice' didn't apply to how she felt about the video, but it still popped up when she focused on the little dragon.
Okay, so that's a thing. My overall attitudes aren't changing. Just how I feel about Sapphire.
"Thank you," she said. "You can start recording now, if you want."
Henderson smiled. "Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am." She stepped back and tapped a few icons on her phone, then raised it to get Sapphire in view.
Emily nodded in acknowledgement, then held up her wrist to let Sapphire jump onto it. "Everyone, I want you to meet Sapphire. Snek dropped by my office yesterday and left her in my care while he went after Behemoth. She's going to be in the building for the next few days at least, maybe a lot longer. I'm pretty certain she's got door handles figured out, and I'm not so sure about the elevator, so don't be surprised if she drops by to visit any of you."
As she spoke, she raised her wrist so that everyone could see her. Sapphire, loving the attention, preened as she spread her wings to the fullest. Feeling that Sapphire was about to take off, Emily flicked her wrist upward.
With a downward gust of wind, Sapphire launched herself into the air, her wings beating in a symphony of motion. She swooped out over the still-growing crowd, evidently showing off for all present, then rocketed skyward. Emily felt a second-hand burst of enjoyment as she followed the hearth-dragon with her eyes.
Yeah, she really loves flying.
Armsmaster stepped up alongside her, helmet raised to watch Sapphire pulling some impressively complicated aerobatics. If Emily had needed any more proof that hearth-dragons were inveterate show-offs, this would've been it.
"I was just on my way up to your office," he said by way of greeting. "Hearth-dragons are fascinating creatures. I was hoping to get your permission to examine her more closely."
"You'll need hers, too." Emily nodded toward Sapphire, to make it clear who she was referring to. "Though she'll probably agree in a heartbeat. She loves the attention."
"So I see." Armsmaster raised a handheld scanner and pointed it at Sapphire. Emily saw three mini-screens, each showing the agile little dragon via a different section of the electromagnetic spectrum, or so she assumed. The rest of the screen showed graphs and wiggly lines that she had no way to analyse. "I suspect you'll have a hard time prising her away from the Wards, once they get in the same room together."
Emily recalled Vista's comments regarding hearth-dragons on PHO, and nodded. "I can't argue with that." She frowned and gestured at the device. "Did you build that specifically? Today?"
"I started on it when New Wave announced that they had acquired their three, but then I heard you had this one." He seemed to peer at the readout. "That … doesn't really agree with physics. Or physics doesn't agree with it. One of the two."
Emily chuckled dryly. "You will excuse the levity, but you are aware that she's a sapient member of a previously unknown species from a world where magic is very much a real state of affairs, correct? I would be entirely unsurprised if she considers physics to be an optional extra."
"Over and above cape powers, ma'am?" He sounded vaguely dubious.
That drew a snort from her. "Earlier today, a giant snake from her world hunted down and ate the most dangerous extant threat in Earth Bet. It wasn't even a contest. What part of this indicates that magic's limited to what powers are capable of?"
"I suppose." The dubious tone hadn't left his voice, but now it seemed to be directed at his scanner. "Is it just me, or is the signal starting to break up?"
She drew her attention from where Sapphire was flying loops, Immelmanns, and figure-eights farther up in the sky. While she wasn't an expert, the images in the mini-screens seemed to be fading out and the other data was flickering in and out. "It does look like it, yes."
He raised his head and looked up at where Sapphire was. "I … actually can't see where she is anymore."
"Really?" She shaded her eyes, watching the little dragon's progress across the sky. "Are you sure you're not using a blue filter? Because I can see her just fine."
"I've got every visual enhancement available running." He shook his head. "Once she got a certain distance away, she dropped off my scopes. Can hearth-dragons go stealth?"
Emily considered that. "The one that Panacea has, Twilight, looks like she could maybe do something of the sort, but I'd need to talk to her about that. Can you really not see her?"
Armsmaster touched the side of his helmet. There was a faint whirring noise. "Even without any electronic assistance, I've got nothing. Where is she?"
"There." She pointed toward Sapphire as she swooped across the roof, then down out of sight. "Ah, she went below the roofline."
"I still didn't see her." He stared at her, then at his scanner. "Please tell me you aren't, uh, punking me." The slang term sounded bizarre, coming from him.
She gave him a hard stare. "I may be on the verge of adopting a terminally cute critter from a literally magical alternate dimension, and I may have smiled more often in the last day than I have in the last year, but really?" She did her best to arch an eyebrow in emphasis of her words.
"Yes, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am."
Emily had her mouth open to reply when Sapphire came up over the roof edge behind them, performed a perfect barrel roll, then alighted gently on Armsmaster's shoulder. Leaning in to peer at the readout screen of the scanner, which was now showing three close-up views of her face, she let out an interrogative chirp. Armsmaster was so startled, he nearly dropped the device.
Emily amended what she'd been going to say at the last moment. "That's not to say that she isn't punking you, of course."
As Armsmaster turned his helmet to survey Sapphire at close range, Emily could feel the smugness radiating from the tiny dragon. "So noted, ma'am."
Having a hearth-dragon in her life, Emily suspected, was going to be many things. Boring wouldn't be one of them.
End of Part Thirty-Four
Part Thirty-Four: A New Era
[A/N: This chapter commissioned by @Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]
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♦ Topic: Snek vs Spicy Food
In: Boards ► Megathreads ► Weird Stuff ► Our Snekky Overlord
Dragon (Original Poster) (Veteran Member) (Verified Cape) (Protectorate Cape) (Guild Member) (Verified Snek Fan)
Posted On Jun 14th 2011:
Well, he did it.
If you're wondering who 'he' is, you clearly didn't check the title of the board you're in. As for what he did, it's what the majority of the civilized world, at least that part of it that's tapped into the internet, has been waiting for since he made fish fingers out of Leviathan and chicken tenders out of the Simurgh.
Yes, folks. He killed Behemoth.
Now if you're wondering why it's me reporting it rather than someone else, that's because I saw it happen (well, one of my satellites picked up on it) so I got the footage first.
Sequence of events:
Late yesterday afternoon (Eastern Daylight Time: GMT-4) I started picking up earth tremors indicating that the big B was on the move, fast. In fact, as my analysis software determined (yes, it's that good) there were *two* big things down there. Snek had burrowed into the earth and was chasing Behemoth.
I'll just let you sit back and think about that for a moment.
Around midnight, Snek temporarily gave up the chase. It seems that, underground at least, Behemoth was able to stay ahead of him. But then he pulled another trick out of wherever he keeps them (he has a few, I know).
Those of you on here who are familiar with the international cape community would know of the African cape warlord Moord Nag ('Murder Night'). If you're really well informed, you'd know she's a Master, projecting a snake-like shadowy creature with a random animal skull for a head (if you didn't know that before, now you do). She calls the projection Aasdier ('Scavenger').
Or rather, she *was* a Master. As of this post, she hasn't been seen (by anyone who's talking about it) for thirty-six hours. But what Snek apparently called on was Aasdier, complete with lion skull for a head.
I have many, many questions.
Back to the action. I didn't see Aasdier at first. All I knew was that something was forcing Behemoth to the surface, and Snek was following along on top. it was only when Behemoth breached the surface (in Death Valley, which I choose to believe was deliberate on Snek's part) that I even figured out what was going on. Mostly, anyway.
So, the rest of the action (it really wasn't a fight) can be seen on this [footage] that I gathered with my satellites and a suit I sent in at short notice. It's all been spliced together in chronological sequence and enhanced as well as I can make it. We kind of missed out on most of Leviathan and the Simurgh going down like chumps, but hopefully this makes up for it.
Enjoy.
(Showing page 1 of 675)
►XxVoid_CowboyxX
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
Wait. Is this ... is this real? I mean, Dragon's posting it, so ...
Holy crap. If this is real, this is huge.
Snek, you da MAN.
►GoodGirlRiley
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
No, Snek is a snek.
And he's a very good boy.
►Mouse_Protector (Veteran Member) (Verified Cape) (Independent Hero) (Purveyor of Cheesy Puns) (Verified Snek Fan)
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
Woo hoo! My bestest Snek buddy has done it again!
Snek, you're totally a good boy.
Isn't he just the Snekkiest Snek who ever Snekked?
►Brocktonite03 (Veteran Member) (Verified Snek Fan)
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
I, for one, welcome our new Snek overlord.
►Bagrat (The Guy in the Know) (Veteran Member)
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
Well, that's officially three for three.
Just goes to show, Behemoth was smart enough not to want anything to do with Snek.
Not that it saved him.
I, also, have questions about Aasdier. Moord Nag is definitely AWOL, so did Snek pay her a visit first?
►EmptyEyedMask
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
I get it, Snek, sometimes you just need some spicy food.
Now, where can we find a dumptruck full of Carolina Reapers? I have the urge to make a metric ton of atomic chilli.
►ToxicSnark
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
inb4 Uber and Leet set up a parody of Hot Ones for the best boi.
►Uber (Verified Cape)
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
We're gonna pass on this one, just in case something goes wrong and we get Snek mad at us.
►BlueSnake (Verified Not Snek)
Replied On Jun 14th 2011:
There are capes like Eidolon who might be able to kill an Endbringer if they could be protected long enough, and the target immobilised long enough, to pull off a critical hit.
And then there's the level of power where you chase down an Endbringer that's trying to run, tank everything it can throw at point blank range, and eat the whole thing, one bite at a time, as it tries and fails to get away.
■
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Tattletale
Lisa closed down the thread after the first page. The question (such as it was) had been answered. Snek was manifestly capable of both killing and eating Behemoth, and had done so with considerable gusto and glee.
Not that anyone had actually believed he couldn't, after his showing with Leviathan. All there had been left to argue about was when he would get around to it, and (more importantly) how long it would take him to finish ingesting the first Endbringer, once he started.
As she understood matters, there were tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of dollars due to change hands, from people betting on the latter. She would've gotten involved in the online betting pools—someone with an eye for the main chance could make serious money there—except that as a probationary Ward in the making, that would cause Armsmaster to clear his throat and Director Piggot to raise an eyebrow. It was a scrutiny she could do without.
However, that didn't mean she was entirely without options.
"Okay," she said briskly, pulling out a piece of paper and unfolding it. "I make the time between first bite and last burp at two minutes thirty-three seconds. My personal pick was …" She rechecked the paper. "Two forty-five. Is anyone closer than twelve seconds?"
The other Wards around the room checked their selected times. Lisa watched as Dennis' lips moved in a hopeful attempt at mental math. Chris didn't even bother; he just pulled out a calculator and started plugging in numbers.
"Ugh, no," Carlos grumped. "I had three minutes clean. How the hell could he eat something that big, so fast?"
"Ooh, ooh, two minutes twenty," Missy enthused, then gave Lisa a hard stare. "How sure are you of that last second?"
"Hmm. Let's watch it again." If anyone else had challenged her on that, Lisa would've shut them down hard, but she had a soft spot for the earnest little munchkin. Being younger than everyone else, Vista tried harder, and it showed. Also, her power had the potential to be frankly terrifying if she ever went full ham with it, so Lisa had decided it wouldn't hurt to stay on her good side.
They ran through the footage again, everyone crowding around the laptop. The flash of fang as Snek latched onto Behemoth's leg was clear to see, and Vista started her phone timer at that point. As they watched the resultant carnage, the only thing missing was the sound effects. Lisa knew damn well that someone would re-post the footage with appropriate (or inappropriate) audio within a day.
As the last rocky-skinned silver-fleshed chunk of Endbringer vanished down the massive snake's gullet, Vista tapped her phone again to end the timer. Lisa looked at the number. It read 2:32.51.
Well, crap.
"Um, that actually looks like a tie," Chris ventured after a moment. "Twelve and a half seconds each way."
As Dennis and Carlos murmured in agreement, Lisa decided not to argue over the finer points of one hundredth of a second. Because again … stay on the good side of the hero who can flatten downtown Brockton Bay without breaking a sweat.
"A tie, it is," she agreed. "Nicely done, Missy."
"Damn right." Missy gave her a high-five, then turned to the others. "Okay, boys. Pay up."
With only a moderate amount of grumbling, the guys pulled out their various tokens. Gambling for money was a flat no-no with the Wards (especially since Dean could easily outbid them all with the allowance his parents gave him) but this was a loophole that had apparently been around since the Wards base had opened. The tokens represented chores that could be handed off, or shifts to be swapped, on presentation by the holder.
As Chris borrowed the laptop and started the footage running again—it was extremely watchable, if a little gruesome—Lisa and Missy divided the tokens up between them. Lisa was fully aware of Missy's crush on Dean, so she deliberately took the ones belonging to Chris and Dennis, leaving Missy to take Carlos'.
"Still think you've got an unfair advantage," Dennis groused, but he made no move to try to claim his tokens back.
Missy rolled her eyes. "And yet you still bet against her."
"Exactly," agreed Lisa. "Anyway, I doubt I could ever outguess Snek, powers or no powers."
"We don't know that you can't," Carlos pointed out.
"Really." Lisa looked over at Dean. "Have you met Snek yet? I can't remember." Lies, but she had a reason for bringing Dean into the conversation.
"I have, yeah." Dean shuddered. "He saved me and Chris and a bunch of civilians when the Fallen came to town and took over Fugly's. I remember him eating Valefor and Mama Mathers alive, just like that."
"Right, right, got it." Lisa raised her eyebrows interrogatively. "What did your power tell you when you looked at him?"
"It showed Snek's aura has a whole other set of colours, ones I've never seen on anyone else. At first I thought it meant he was hiding stuff from us, but then I realised that his colours just aren't the same as our colours."
"Okay, so he's a weird snake from a whole other world." Chris spread his hands. "What does that prove?"
Lisa shook her head. "It proves that Dean can't get a bead on Snek, any more than I can."
"How does it prove that?" Dennis whined.
"Because emotion is emotion," Dean snapped, fed up with Dennis' bellyaching. "It doesn't matter whether you're an alien, a pet or a human. Happy is happy and sad is sad and the colours are constant. Snek's colours are every other colour, because his existence naturally messes with my powers." He went as far as to cuff Dennis across the back of the head. "Get it now, dumbass?"
"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Dennis gave Dean a dirty look. "Do that again and I will draw on your face." He left out the 'after I freeze you' but everyone heard it anyway.
Dean made a rude noise. "Good luck getting close enough to me."
Lisa leaned back in the couch and grinned as the banter went on. It was totally different from the Undersiders, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.
Also, not having to brush dog hair off her costume was a definite plus.
<><>
Upstairs, in the Director's Office
Director Piggot, PRT ENE
"Well." Emily knew she was quoting Dragon, but it really needed to be said out loud. "He did it. He really, actually did it."
On the one hand, she hadn't really doubted that he could; on the other, capes had been trying to destroy Behemoth for nineteen years, with exactly zero success. There had been the nagging thought that the Hero-Killer might be a tougher takedown than Leviathan and the Simurgh, but the only 'tougher' aspect was the fact that he'd been harder to catch up with. Behemoth, in other words, had seen Snek coming and wanted nothing to do with him.
Emily couldn't exactly blame him for that. There was nothing that terrified her more than the idea of having something like Snek pursuing her, relentless and literally unstoppable. No matter how far or fast she ran, his fangs would be waiting for her when she got to where she was going.
I am so glad he's on our side.
Sapphire chirped and eased her head under Emily's hand. The contact served to dispel the chill that had briefly danced up and down Emily's spine, and a sense of calm spread through her mind. She smiled and hitched one shoulder forward; Sapphire took the hint, and hopped over to perch on the proffered shoulder.
"You know what?" Emily said as she reached up to scratch the little dragon under the chin. "There's nothing knocking down my door right this minute, and I just watched a giant snake eat an Endbringer alive. Which means that either I'm dreaming or this is officially a Good Day. Either way, we've earned a moment of 'us' time. So what say we go up to the roof, and you show me just how far and fast you can fly?"
Sapphire's head came up, and she chirped enthusiastically. She'd already been for an outing on the previous evening when Emily took her home, but it had been getting dark and she hadn't stayed up long. Today it was bright and sunny, and Emily figured she had a better chance to really get out and fly.
Reaching out, she pressed the intercom button, then paused. Lifting her finger, she clicked the button to make it a building-wide call. "Attention, all. This is the Director. As some of you may have heard, I've been given the care of a hearth-dragon. If any off-duty personnel are interested, I will be taking her up to the roof in the next five minutes to let her stretch her wings. Piggot, out."
The building was sturdily built, so she couldn't actually detect the vibrations echoing from floor to floor, but as she let herself out of her office, she could almost swear the place had begun swarming like a kicked anthill. From the way Sapphire looked around, Emily suspected she could actually feel the emotional uproar. More to the point, she seemed to be looking forward to showing off in front of a crowd. From Emily's extremely limited experience with hearth-dragons, shyness was not something they tended to suffer from.
They rode up in the elevator. When the doors opened and Emily stepped out onto the roof, Sapphire's interest sharpened and she spread her wings, though she remained on Emily's shoulder. Emily walked out toward the helipad marking on the roof, fully aware for the first time of the city spread out around her.
She'd been up on the roof many times before, but only as a prelude to getting on a chopper and going somewhere else. This time, it almost felt as though she were seeing it through Sapphire's eyes: a wonderful high place for taking off and soaring on the breeze.
Is this what it's like to be bonded?
It seemed to Emily that Brandish had known when she herself bonded to … what was the silver hearth-dragon's name? Argent? That sounded about right.
In any case, Emily figured that if she wasn't certain, it probably meant they weren't actually bonded yet. Though the empathic impressions suggested to her that they were well on the way. Which was nice, because over the last twenty-odd hours, Sapphire had definitely been growing on her.
Wait, when do I ever think of something as 'nice'?
Emily frowned, thinking that over. Stopping in the middle of the 'H', she turned to look as the first of the potential spectators began to flood out onto the roof. "Excuse me," she called out. "I need a volunteer with a phone."
Phones appeared as if by magic—which really should have been no surprise to her—and she pointed out the nearest person, an analyst called Bethany Henderson. When she beckoned, Henderson came closer. "Yes, ma'am?"
Emily raised her eyebrows. "Do you have cat videos on your phone?"
"Um …" Henderson dragged her eyes away from where Sapphire was still perched on Emily's shoulder. "Ma'am?"
Emily tried not to let impatience creep into her tone. "Cat videos. You look like a cat video person. Do you have them?"
"No, ma'am, but I can find one online easily enough." Henderson fiddled with her phone, then showed Emily the screen. Sapphire leaned in to watch as well, as an admittedly cute kitten tumbled over and over with a ball of yarn as big as it was.
Emily had never been big on videos like that, and even now it only roused mild interest in her. But the weird thing was, she was beginning to feel Sapphire's amusement, separate from hers. The word 'nice' didn't apply to how she felt about the video, but it still popped up when she focused on the little dragon.
Okay, so that's a thing. My overall attitudes aren't changing. Just how I feel about Sapphire.
"Thank you," she said. "You can start recording now, if you want."
Henderson smiled. "Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am." She stepped back and tapped a few icons on her phone, then raised it to get Sapphire in view.
Emily nodded in acknowledgement, then held up her wrist to let Sapphire jump onto it. "Everyone, I want you to meet Sapphire. Snek dropped by my office yesterday and left her in my care while he went after Behemoth. She's going to be in the building for the next few days at least, maybe a lot longer. I'm pretty certain she's got door handles figured out, and I'm not so sure about the elevator, so don't be surprised if she drops by to visit any of you."
As she spoke, she raised her wrist so that everyone could see her. Sapphire, loving the attention, preened as she spread her wings to the fullest. Feeling that Sapphire was about to take off, Emily flicked her wrist upward.
With a downward gust of wind, Sapphire launched herself into the air, her wings beating in a symphony of motion. She swooped out over the still-growing crowd, evidently showing off for all present, then rocketed skyward. Emily felt a second-hand burst of enjoyment as she followed the hearth-dragon with her eyes.
Yeah, she really loves flying.
Armsmaster stepped up alongside her, helmet raised to watch Sapphire pulling some impressively complicated aerobatics. If Emily had needed any more proof that hearth-dragons were inveterate show-offs, this would've been it.
"I was just on my way up to your office," he said by way of greeting. "Hearth-dragons are fascinating creatures. I was hoping to get your permission to examine her more closely."
"You'll need hers, too." Emily nodded toward Sapphire, to make it clear who she was referring to. "Though she'll probably agree in a heartbeat. She loves the attention."
"So I see." Armsmaster raised a handheld scanner and pointed it at Sapphire. Emily saw three mini-screens, each showing the agile little dragon via a different section of the electromagnetic spectrum, or so she assumed. The rest of the screen showed graphs and wiggly lines that she had no way to analyse. "I suspect you'll have a hard time prising her away from the Wards, once they get in the same room together."
Emily recalled Vista's comments regarding hearth-dragons on PHO, and nodded. "I can't argue with that." She frowned and gestured at the device. "Did you build that specifically? Today?"
"I started on it when New Wave announced that they had acquired their three, but then I heard you had this one." He seemed to peer at the readout. "That … doesn't really agree with physics. Or physics doesn't agree with it. One of the two."
Emily chuckled dryly. "You will excuse the levity, but you are aware that she's a sapient member of a previously unknown species from a world where magic is very much a real state of affairs, correct? I would be entirely unsurprised if she considers physics to be an optional extra."
"Over and above cape powers, ma'am?" He sounded vaguely dubious.
That drew a snort from her. "Earlier today, a giant snake from her world hunted down and ate the most dangerous extant threat in Earth Bet. It wasn't even a contest. What part of this indicates that magic's limited to what powers are capable of?"
"I suppose." The dubious tone hadn't left his voice, but now it seemed to be directed at his scanner. "Is it just me, or is the signal starting to break up?"
She drew her attention from where Sapphire was flying loops, Immelmanns, and figure-eights farther up in the sky. While she wasn't an expert, the images in the mini-screens seemed to be fading out and the other data was flickering in and out. "It does look like it, yes."
He raised his head and looked up at where Sapphire was. "I … actually can't see where she is anymore."
"Really?" She shaded her eyes, watching the little dragon's progress across the sky. "Are you sure you're not using a blue filter? Because I can see her just fine."
"I've got every visual enhancement available running." He shook his head. "Once she got a certain distance away, she dropped off my scopes. Can hearth-dragons go stealth?"
Emily considered that. "The one that Panacea has, Twilight, looks like she could maybe do something of the sort, but I'd need to talk to her about that. Can you really not see her?"
Armsmaster touched the side of his helmet. There was a faint whirring noise. "Even without any electronic assistance, I've got nothing. Where is she?"
"There." She pointed toward Sapphire as she swooped across the roof, then down out of sight. "Ah, she went below the roofline."
"I still didn't see her." He stared at her, then at his scanner. "Please tell me you aren't, uh, punking me." The slang term sounded bizarre, coming from him.
She gave him a hard stare. "I may be on the verge of adopting a terminally cute critter from a literally magical alternate dimension, and I may have smiled more often in the last day than I have in the last year, but really?" She did her best to arch an eyebrow in emphasis of her words.
"Yes, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am."
Emily had her mouth open to reply when Sapphire came up over the roof edge behind them, performed a perfect barrel roll, then alighted gently on Armsmaster's shoulder. Leaning in to peer at the readout screen of the scanner, which was now showing three close-up views of her face, she let out an interrogative chirp. Armsmaster was so startled, he nearly dropped the device.
Emily amended what she'd been going to say at the last moment. "That's not to say that she isn't punking you, of course."
As Armsmaster turned his helmet to survey Sapphire at close range, Emily could feel the smugness radiating from the tiny dragon. "So noted, ma'am."
Having a hearth-dragon in her life, Emily suspected, was going to be many things. Boring wouldn't be one of them.
End of Part Thirty-Four
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