Wait a Minute... (Guy in Worm with Trouble in Terrorist Town powers)

[Phili]

I sure hope this is the correct box to type this part in. (It wasn't, I had to switch the first threadmark and the thread description)
Hi! This is my first story, and I'm not sure how long it will go on or how much time I will be able to dedicate to it. Please do not raise your expectations.

This is a story that takes place in Worm, about an Original Character who apparently has an identity and life on Earth Bet, but doesn't remember any of it. He has gotten powers from the Yogscast Modded Gary's Mod Trouble In Terrorist Town game (TTT), and gets more powers and items from it as time goes on, and he has a feeling it will move on to a similar theme after it grabs everything it can from TTT, and perhaps even more after that. Reading this requires no knowledge of the Yogscast or TTT, but they will likely make it funnier.

He has some limited memories of someone from an Earth similar to ours, most of which are useless and about a group of idiots (he means it affectionately) called the Yogscast; but other, more normal memories are just enough to make him double take and question many things on Earth Bet. He is apparently a Yognau(gh)t, so he decides to call himself Dave.

Spoiler: Regarding his power and its source

His power is Out of Context and does not originate from a shard, but something kind-of similar to a shard. This kind-of shard is not from any particular fandom, it just works on similar, less parasitic principles as Worm shards, and is more like a weird cross between a Worm shard, a ROB wanting to be entertained, a Ring Grandpa from a xianxia, and a hyper-friendly puppy trying very hard to be friendly but only speaks in barks and yips

I have read quite a bit of Worm fanfiction in my day, but I've never read the original story because I find it much too dark and depressing, so, correspondingly, I am nearly certain to get things wrong and ask for gentle clarification and understanding if I choose not to correct it since I intend for this story to be substantially lighter in tone than the original.

Nothing is (currently) written in advance and I (currently) have no plans for a schedule. This is (currently) a bit of fun for me while I rewatch the old Yogscast TTT playlists while stretching my creative juice (yes, I love stretching my juices, why do you ask?), and maybe entertaining a few people along the way... if I keep up with it.

The first chapter will be out sometime between today and next week... hopefully. Now, I just have to figure out how to copy all of this into an identical story in the NSFW section.

 

[Phili]

January 1, 2010. Brockton Bay.

He woke up on a bed. That was good, he supposed; the problem was just about everything else.

"What's my name, and why do I feel like I should care more about the answer than I actually do?" He asked while staring at the ceiling.

"For that matter, why am I so awake first thing in the morning? Don't I have narcolepsy?"

With no answers appearing, he did his best to let muscle memory take over, and it dragged him through a shower and finding clothes in a large plastic bin under his bed ("but why though?" he asked while digging through the bin to find socks), before pouring orange juice and putting a bagel in the toaster ("Mmm, berry flavored bagels, I have good taste").

Congratulations!

Hello my new friend! I understand you might have some questions, but we'll get to that in a moment! First of all, you now have superpowers! Yay! These powers will be based off of the Yogscast Trouble in Terrorist Town roles, items, and randomats... to start with. As time passes you will get more powers, and with eventually, those powers will expand to include other things from other "sources", like Blood on The Clocktower. Now, to start with, you will be getting a new Role every day, since as much as I would love to give my favorite human (that's you!) all the things immediately, that would stuff you so full of random crap you would immediately explode in a way not even I could resurrect you. Your metaphysical self, or metaphysique, or soul or whatever you want to call it can't handle everything at once, but my new method of exercising your soul by grabbing your metaphysical limbs and waving them around like a wacky wavy inflatable arm thing will expand your metaphysical container. I call this newfound method "exercise", and it will let me stuff more power into your soul at a rate of about 1 role per day. However, if you exercise your soul yourself, I can stuff power into your soul more quickly, and since I will be stuffing power into you soul as soon as room becomes available, you don't have to worry about your soul shrinking back down like it normally does with humans and human-adjacent mortals. Now, you might be wondering "Why did my new super-cute and fantastic Eldritch best friend pick Yogscast TTT to start expanding my powers with?". Well, simple. It's important enough to you that you will understand it well and quickly grasp the mechanics; even after I put you back together after I found you, you still remembered a lot about it. Also, I can give you the power of "respawning" right off the bat with it because it's so easy to stuff your soul with it because you already care about it. So yeah, you'll respawn every 10 minutes at full health if you die, unless you choose not to, in which case you will obviously stay in spectator mode. Or if you have other roles or randomats unlocked that take place after death, you can keep doing things with those instead of respawning. You can expand your soul yourself the normal way, by doing things. The more interesting and stimulating (to you) the things you do are, the more you expand your soul, and then I will stick my "soul finger (tentacle)" in to your newly expanded space to keep it expanded until it is expanded enough to fit something new. What role you get each day will be random, and so will any items and randomats you unlock. You can have as many roles active at once as you want, and can deactivate any at will. You can also carry any "game items" in your inventory, but not regular items. Every time a "new round" starts (which is every 10 minutes), in addition to respawning, you also get a new pistol, shotgun, sniper rifle, and a credit if you have any roles active that can buy from a shop. You will be able to access your shop mentally at will, and more items will be available in the shops for each role as your "soul" expands. Eventually, you will be less constrained to your role as the original game exists, and things like a Hypnotist can actually hypnotize people, a Good Boy lets you turn into a dog, a Possum will grant you a Possum changer form, and a Mad Scientist will grant you a Tinker specialty, all in addition to what they would normally do. That won't happen for a while yet of course. Finally, your first role has come in and it is... *Drum Roll please... or Drum Role! Hah, I'm hilarious aren't I* Old Man! Yay! Oh... hmm... That is quite possibly the single worst possible thing you could have gotten isn't it? I'll tell you what, it's simple enough and the downside is significant enough I can squeeze the double jump into you from the start because you don't have another role that would counteract the Old Man's downsides. Now, don't get spawn-camped until tomorrow, and I will see you... Next time. Goodbye!

Huh. I understood... none of that in real words.

Excuse me?

Yeah, it was like, I got the gist and the meaning, but with no actual words. It was kinda trippy really.

Oh fuck me. That's not good. You really were in terrible shape when I found you. Good thing I managed to find an Earth to plop you into so quickly so you stopped de-existifying. Granted, there are some slight context clues that make me suspect this wasn't your original Earth, but I'm sure it'll be fine. It's okay, you're still my favorite human, even if you are a little... damaged. Oh, also, I set up things for you so you don't get lynched as a witch or whatever they do to outsiders on this Earth, it should give you a little bit, emphasis on little, of the local "common sense" as a bonus to your housing and possessions I Realitied into existence for you. I am declaring "Realitied" to be a word now, so write that down as well!

Thanks, I think. He grabbed a notepad and did what his instincts told him to do, and wrote down the word "that", before grabbing his sadly cold bagel from the toaster.

Who knew trying to decipher weird soul alien language took enough time to make a bagel fully toast and cool down to room temperature.

Then he used his newfound common sense, and put the bagel back in the toaster on the lowest setting so it could heat back up.

---

Exiting his apartment door, he saw a woman who was apparently his neighbor exiting her unit as well. Locking the door behind him, he decided to follow his instincts, which had definitely no points of failure.

"Hi, I am Dave! I am a Yognau(gh)t and I have the balls. Are you Dave! Yognau(gh)t with the balls?"

She stared.

Nailed it.

 

[Phili]

AN: If you aren't familiar with TTT and/or the Yogscast, you can still enjoy this, but will need to accept deep in your heart that you won't get every single reference in this chapter or the story.

January 1, 2010. Brockton Bay.



"So Bella, can you drive?"

It turned out that she was not in fact a Yognau(gh)t, her name was "Bella not Dave you imbecile!", and she did most certainly not have the balls and she resented me "risking her being attacked by Nazi morons hearing an idiot ask a woman if she has balls and assuming she is trans."

I naturally assured her I wasn't a dirty traitor, I was just an old man.

She stared at me and said "You are college age dude, are you trying to make actual old people angry at you?"

I did the only thing I could in response to that. I double jumped.

"Fine, where do you want me to drive you to?"

"The Beach please, Boat Graveyard area. My common sense is tingling and it's telling me that is where I should go. It also tells me that it's definitely Zylus, but he's not here, so I suspect my balls are defective."

She stared at me. She seems to be doing that a lot huh. "I am so going to regret this, but this is literally the only interesting thing that has happened to me this year." Huh, she was smiling a little.

Wait a minute…

"What day of the year is it today?" I asked ever so slightly suspiciously.

"Shut up and follow me to my car."

"Okay," I agreed happily. I won after all. Double jumping was truly the ultimate charisma. I didn't even need to T-Pose for dominance to intimidate her into doing my bidding… not that I would dominate someone without consent of course. Even with consent I might not do it really. Unless they deserved it of course, I think she mentioned Nazis earlier to, so I may need to practice my (T-Posing) skills a little before I dominate them. I might also do it if it was funny.

---

After observing Bella on the way to her car and the way she treated dogs (she stared at them because they were cute little good boys and girls, yes they were), I concluded, she could not possibly be a terrorist, therefore… she was a good person. In other words, a traitor!

Man, the TTT analogy really breaks down the instant you bring civilians into the picture doesn't it.

"So you're a parahuman right? I'm taking a parahumans studies class at Brockton University, so I think I'm academically required to ask: What's that like?" She asked after we got into her car.

"Well, if you are defining Parahuman as "an individual most likely of the species Homo Sapien Sapien in the possession of one or more "superpowers", then yes I am a parahuman". She seemed like she wanted to stare, but needed to keep her eyes on the road so she just sighed instead.

"And so far, it's been a bit of a mixed bag, on the one hand, I can double jump and it seems like my narcolepsy is gone. On the other hand, I'm about 95% sure that stubbing my toe will now kill me." She screeched to a stop. Good thing we were at a red light, I'm pretty sure she would have done that even on the highway. Maybe cars aren't the best place for this sort of discussion?

"What the fuck do you mean a stubbed toe will kill you?" Ow, woman, don't screech in my ear. At least my hearing damage seems to be cured as well, hopefully she won't bring it back with her dramatic antics.

"Well, my power—"

"Wait, should you even be telling me this?" She asked suddenly, and she already cares! I knew bringing civilians into terrorism was a good idea. Look at the results!

"Well, one of my powers is that I come back to life after I've died every ten minutes. Unless I want to stay dead of course, in which case I can obviously."

"Right, obviously," she agreed as the light turned green.

"Anyways, I knew you were Innocent when I saw how you treated the dogs, you looked upon them with proper deference for their adorableness and good boy-ness. Wait a minute… I decided you were a traitor earlier. Man, this analogy thing really breaks down with civilians."

"Right, you're just a weird idiot, that's why you decided I should be trusted. You're so obscenely lucky you picked a decent person to… latch on to or whatever it is you're doing," Bella concluded.

"Anyways, as a terrorist, I need to be a very good judge of character, and the tingle in my balls tells my you are a good person."

"Please, just go back to talking about your powers, I can't handle you being you that much while I'm trying to drive."

"Right right. Anyways, I get more powers as time goes on, and the ones I have get better, though both have an element of randomness." As he talked, she looked more and more like she wanted to interrupt, but was also determined to drive well. Perhaps she was concerned about him dying if she hit the breaks to fast based on his earlier comment? That was probably it.

After only a single sentence, she did end up interrupting, "Okay, this is genuinely fascinating-"

"Ahah! You said genuinely! I knew you were a traitor!"

"Shut up I'm trying to be serious! Anyways, this is really interesting, but also extremely unsafe to talk about all this while I'm driving and trying to concentrate, I'm having to take a longer route to the Boat Graveyard to avoid potholes so I don't somehow kill you because the roads are in terrible condition in this city for mysterious reasons I'm sure." She said the last bit sarcastically. Unfortunately, his common sense didn't tell him what the actual reasons for potholes were, so her sarcasm was undeserved as the answer was not common sense and therefore not worthy of sarcasm.

She finished off her thought with "So for now, just tell me what I need to know about for your safety --and my own I suppose though that doesn't seem to be a worry with your powers—then when we get to the boat graveyard we can finish the conversation. I assume you wanted to go there to test out your powers; which is fine as long as you don't do anything flashy, but if you do anything too large it will attract attention you probably don't want from either the gangs or the PRT. After we've had our conversation and you've done whatever testing you wanted to do, I can call a friend of mine, she's completely trustworthy and is something of an expert on Parahumans. She'll be able to give you advice and help going forward."

"Wow, you've already deduced things about why I wanted to go places and thought things through. That kind of thinking is just what you need to be a great Terrorist. You have a bright future in terrorism Bella. Anyways, right now, and only for today, I am in a condition that you can think of as like being a video game character on one health, but one health is also the maximum health, so a doctor wouldn't find anything wrong with me, but even a gentle tap with a crowbar would instantly kill me.

On the bright side, because my power is a fantastic good boy/girl/nonbinary, I also will respawn every 10 minutes if I do die."

"So, you're like a worse version of Alabaster? Also powers aren't sentient or gendered." She asked after ignoring my amazing compliment on how smart she was.

Well if she's going to ignore my compliments, I'm going to ignore her obviously incorrect statements regarding the sentience of powers, and since she doesn't even know about powers being sentient, obviously she can't be trusted to be correct with regards to their genders. Honestly, making broad-sweeping assumptions about an entire… species? I'm going to say species. Making broad-sweeping assumptions about an entire species like that is incredibly rude and insensitive. Racist even. Maybe sexist too.

"I don't actually know what alabaster is, but I don't think it respawns if destroyed. I thought it was either a plaster of some sort or a pottery material, but if it respawned after being destroyed I'm pretty sure we would make a lot more stuff out of it."

She almost tried to face palm before putting her hand back on the steering wheel. "No, Alabaster is the name of one of the local Nazi capes. He returns to his original condition every 5 seconds or so, which means even if he dies or is injured, he will be alive and in perfect health after only 5 seconds instead of needing an entire 10 minutes."

"Damn, my power was really proud of figuring out a way to get me to respawn. It's going to be so disappointed now, and look at me with those big metaphorical, metaphysical puppy dog eyes. Like this." He said, before transforming into a Pikachu and looking up at her.

"AHH!" she screamed and slammed the breaks. Because he was now a Pikachu, his seatbelt wasn't tall enough, and he went flying into the windshield and died instantly.

---

Author's note: Don't worry, he isn't a real Pikachu. He can just change his skin/character-model. Anything he could reasonably find as a player model in the Steam Workshop is fair game, but it is mostly aesthetic (for now, that won't change for a while, if ever though). He is genuinely bigger or smaller though, so he can fit more places and make himself taller to see things, but when he is bigger, he isn't any stronger and is mostly just a bigger target. Next time, we will see Dave using spectator mode, Bella being forced to make a decision on what to do with the dead Pikachu in her car, and a nice calm picnic on a scenic beach before Bella calls her mysterious friend. Not necessarily in that order.