With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Darko · Aug 30, 2024

Mr Zoat said:
"I have convinced them to share objects of interest. I have not completed my study of them, but those that I have studied have increased my understanding to the point that Effigies will be far stronger in future than my first version

So he's going to give them Viltrumite levels of strength at the very least.

Mr Zoat said:
It is somewhat simple, but I intend to start by making you strong enough to tear a Scarab Warrior in half without using your destabilisation ability. I suspect that you will enjoy that."

I'm smiling, aren't I?

"I think I will too, sir

Shit, I'm guessing this isn't going to end good.

Between the energon and whatever supervillain crap he managed to get from Wynne, Effigy here may go insane.

moralrelativity · Aug 30, 2024

moralrelativity said:
halts

frown

Mr Zoat, I think you missed these corrections from a couple of days ago.

Mr Zoat said:
You have no read the file on his

no -> not

Mr Zoat · Aug 30, 2024

Ngamer11 said:
That should say 'not'

Thank you, corrected.

Mr Zoat · Aug 30, 2024

moralrelativity said:
Mr Zoat, I think you missed these corrections from a couple of days ago.

no -> not

Mr Zoat said:
I've only just got internet access back. Corrections start tomorrow.

Which is today. Sigh.

PrinceJonathan · Aug 30, 2024

Ciber said:
No, but it is a fic where we gave harry potter a death star.

When did that happen? Cause now you have me picturing Harry and Ron piloting the Death Star in a panic like that time they took that flying car.

Thoracto · Aug 30, 2024

It's actually ant blood, for the proportional strength. /j

thebishop8 · Aug 30, 2024

PrinceJonathan said:
When did that happen? Cause now you have me picturing Harry and Ron piloting the Death Star in a panic like that time they took that flying car.

It's a saying about fanfiction: if you give ~~Frodo~~ Harry Potter a lightsaber you have to give ~~Sauron~~ Voldemort the Death Star. It's not literal (I haven't seen any fanfic that makes it literal anyway), it just means that if you're going to give the protagonist extra power, you need to make the antagonist more challenging to keep things interesting.

Mr Zoat · Aug 30, 2024

Duke Long said:
'into'?
'breakthrough'?
'when she found'
'dressed'

Thank you, corrected.

This link seems identical to the other one earlier in the same chapter. Was this intentional? Am I missing something?

It goes to slightly further down the page.

'past'? But I'm really not sure.
'is to'
'running'?
'takes'
'to'
Extraneous 'a'
'it's'?
'of an…'?

Thank you, corrected.

Unfortunately I'm a few hundred kilometres off. Thanks for the offer, though.

Offer will stay open.

Mr Zoat · Aug 30, 2024

Rin said:
I think it's very important that we catastrophise this. Being reasonable and sensible about a small change in schedule has never gotten anyone anywhere.

Wisdom.

Chaoswind said:
On busy weekends he will either post the update early or late, so nothing to fear right now.

On 'busy weekends' I'm usually staying in bed for an hour or two.

Duke Long said:
'without a'
Extraneous apostrophe,

Thank you, corrected.

and I'm not sure but I think the semicolon ought to be a comma.

I think that's correct?

'pared'
'looked'
I think it ought to be more like:
'programmer - thin, pallid and unkempt - stares at me'
Also, 'sprints'
I think 'there're', but yours works as casual thought.

Thank you, corrected.

c3qo said:
Okay, now i'm really worried

© https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/24540086.eastbourne-police-negotiate-two-men-roof-15-hours/ (didn't work for me without a UK VPN)

This is one hilarious coincidence

Eh, Crowborough.

Mr Zoat · Aug 30, 2024

Darko said:
"her power"

Thank you, corrected.

Did he take on Eve's form?

No, and he wouldn't be able to sustain it if he did.

Agumentic said:
Does "she" here mean Atom Eve, or is it a typo and it's still the doctor acting?

Thank you, corrected.

Mr Zoat · Aug 30, 2024

Ngamer11 said:
For curiosity's sake, how did he choose this name?

My middle name, my maternal grandfather's surname.

Ngamer11 said:
@Mr Zoat, I just realized that you've been misspelling Omni-Man's name. It's hyphenated before the "man" part, which is capitalized, similar to Spider-Man. Is that on purpose?

Okay, so far it looks like it's just the SI who's using it, and I'm going to say that he doesn't know about the hyphen.

Chojin Patriarch said:
Just like a man dying of thirst coming across an oasis. Though hopefully without the 'gorging themselves sick' aspect of the trope. And that nutrient paste must be awful, if they're enjoying British food....

I know it's a joke, but for the record: British food is actually okay. The bad reputation it got in America is a result of G.I.s during WWII eating here while we were having to ration and were cut off from more interesting supplies. Normally it's much better than that.

So presumably, the blocks have receded enough for her to remember that, I take it.

No, but between the situation and Robot's tutoring, she learned to override it slowly and with difficulty.

I wonder if she's been hiding more abilities than she's been showing?
...though no other part of her body has moved.
...and spent a year raising my skill level to the point...

Thank you, corrected.

Mr Zoat · Aug 30, 2024

Ngamer11 said:
How much skill would this feat require Mr Zoat?

Quite a lot. The main SI might be able to do it, since he's basically just manifesting a blob of orange energy for Peter to gradually consume.

Darko said:
"you're going"

Thank you, corrected.

Darko said:
Zoat, in the spoiler box the link for this chapter doesn't have a part 17.

Thank you, corrected a couple of days ago.

RoninSword said:
mastered

Thank you, corrected.

Also, how does a Green Lantern check that the remote display of a Controller from a different parallel is actually a Controller?

Scanning what happened and checking with the Guardians if that's something they can do. Also, seeing if the Guardians recognise who it was.

Mr Zoat · Aug 30, 2024

Chojin Patriarch said:
Wait, seriously? Who would block the use of weather control? Where they afraid of some loony taking control and holding the world for ransom? ...Then again, given guys like the Weather Wizard...

Weather Wizard 12 used his machine to freeze the Flash/Superman race. You can do a lot of damage by controlling weather, and if you're careful then it can be very difficult to spot.

Given that she'd be in her sixties by now, it's a bit late for that.

Forties, surely? Peter married Barbara in the late nineties.

Ironically, he probably had very little to do with the actual building, so 'assembling' would probably be more accurate...

'Building' as in 'building the company'.

And his daughter is like 'Holy cow, dad, you didn't say you were hot!' Because she's standing right here watching.

There are pictures of young-him around. And he probably wouldn't make him look that young, having gotten used to looking old.

Ngamer11 said:
That should say GDA.

Chojin Patriarch said:
...Not really something to smile at. Still, he's seeming less human every time we see him. Perhaps it's a Viltrumite thing to be able to disassociate things like that. To make people 'not people' they feel fine with reducing to chunky salsa.

Humans are perfectly capable of doing that.

These were the strongest humans alive.
...and then stuck my arm into the space where he was reassembling himself.

Thank you, corrected.

moralrelativity said:
delete 'that'
delete 'ration'

Thank you, corrected.

CTrees said:
Regardless, this might require artificial insemination. Human rigidity versus viltrumite muscles and whatnot. I guess adjusting his environmental shield to be permeable to semen could maybe work?

No, viltrumites can relax their muscles. The main difficulty would be in giving birth without crushing the unpowered child.

Clell65619 said:
At least he has the long tradition of closing his eyes and thinking of England to aid in the process.

Victoria and Albert had pornographic paintings in their private quarters.

Mr Zoat · Aug 30, 2024

moralrelativity said:
halts
frown

Thank you, corrected.

Neruz said:
(Also isn't that supposed to be ARGOS?)

Thank you, corrected.

Okay, done. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some reading to do.

Duke Long · Aug 30, 2024

Figured I'd put my corrections in a spoiler since I saved up quite a lot this time.

Mr Zoat said:
Okay, done. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some reading to do.

Feel free to leave these for a while haha, I feel a bit bad posting this right after you said this.

Mr Zoat said:
The Norse pantheon might be annoyed about me poaching Tyr, but I'd be surprised if they used a vassal to remove me via incineration like that. Still, they can be a violent lot without the Olympian's hospitality customs to restrain them.

'Olympians''?

Mr Zoat said:
Sunset grins her teeth so hard that I'm honestly worried that she's going to crack them.

'grits'?

Mr Zoat said:
I shut down the vacuum and fly back towards John. Yes, that's how it works, the ole ying yang thing. Without order, there's no chaos. There's just a mess. And while Eris might personally be fine with it…

'yin yang'? But could be deliberate ignorance.

Mr Zoat said:
"Then I'm sure. But that's probably not political feasible." She shakes her head. "I've got a shift to work. Go finish up on Earth before they try sending someone else."

'politically'

Mr Zoat said:
Had that been all, I would probably have gone. My foster-brother Patroclus wanted to, and him I relied upon more than all others. But a priest in my father's court saw my uncertainty, and bade my visit a wondering oracle who had recently come into the city.

'bade me'?

Mr Zoat said:
And hardly any fortifications outside of the Isotope Chapter controlled Sierra Army Depot. The best bet would be for them to send mercenaries to defend Vault City while they fortify themselves, but I don't know if I can talk Mr. Bishop into that.

'Chapter-controlled'?

Mr Zoat said:
"It's a red herring, then. Civil administration is handled by the town hall, and there's no guard unit. They'd rather this building was attacked, rather-" The door opens, Spike staring at our ankles. "-anywhere that's actually important."

Replace second rather and the preceding comma with 'than-'?

Mr Zoat said:
"The details are, but the way of life? No, that was there before. Advanced technology hasn't tricked down to everywhere in our society in the way that it has in places like Thanagar."

'trickled'

Mr Zoat said:
"And not being able to get power for tools. I though you had bleed torsion generators?"

'thought'

Mr Zoat said:
"No contrail." I scan the rapidly normalising area around the probable source of the blast. "Nothing left of the bomb. Isotope signature… Best match suggests that it was an India bomb."

'Indian'?

Mr Zoat said:
"Taking one bomb makes sense if you only want to destroy one thing, but if you just want to destroy stuff generally. Were they..? Rushed?"

'but not'?

Mr Zoat said:
"Because Doctor Mist has command. Because we don't know where everyone in their organisation is and persuading her to tell us is easier that doing a neural trawl. Because if she spends the rest of her life doing productive work then she might work off a tiny part of her debt to civilisation. Because we could really do with the manpower. Because I'm interested to see if anyone else can use the sort of magic that Doctor Mist does."

'easier than'

Mr Zoat said:
"No. The Seven Devils are very real and actively involve themselves in their worshippers affairs as much as they can. Kobra members are just violent criminals, with no more supernatural backing than anyone can get." Speaking of… "How is Vulcan getting on?"

'worshippers''

Mr Zoat said:
"This is Mister Trouble Shoes. His special talent -as far as we can tell- is being unlucky. Almost everything he touches is destroyed moments later, and he himself is subjected to accidents like the one which you just witnessed almost every day. I've had physicians perform test to assess his physical and mental acuity, and he has the same hoof-eye coordination capacity as you and me. My thaumic detection array has picked up a minute surge in his cutie mark related magic just before every event."

'mark-related'?

Mr Zoat said:
He complies with the care of a serial Jonah which Starlight starts wiring him up to the thaumic detection array.

I think there's something wrong with this sentence. Also, what's a serial Jonah?

Mr Zoat said:
Starlight relaxes, her horn dimming as she looks as Trouble Shoes' haunches. They're blank, no sign that a mark was ever there.

'looks at'

Mr Zoat said:
"Also -and this should go without saying- but they're still teeth. Don't try and bit through anything you wouldn't normally try and bit through, especially live electronics."

'bite'?
'bite'?

Mr Zoat said:
She looks at the sheet, frowning. Getting my real name on there took me cutting up newspapers for the letter and then hypnotising myself so that I wouldn't realise why I was assembling them in that order, then asking someone else to transcribe it. I'll be nice to have a country that doesn't know me as a living comic character.

'letters'
'It'll'
Pretty cool idea. Also hilarious in hindsight given that he became known as a living comic book character by the Gentry.

Mr Zoat said:
And while I.. was sort of thinking as just picking up a priest who didn't mind travelling, I think that having a conversation with Lord Harold Windsor would be a productive use of my time.

'of just'

Mr Zoat said:
I blink as I see a giant carcass being butchered to on the quay, near one of the larger fishing boats. It looks like a.. large whale, with glowing nodules along its sides.

Extraneous 'to'?

Mr Zoat said:
A peel of laughter runs through the people watching, and more than a few of the Life Guard are smirking.

'peal'
This whole encounter was hilarious.

Mr Zoat said:
I look around at the soldiers and… Other people we walk passed. The soldiers are all ghouls. Actually, from the looks of things only the hotel staff are humans.

'past'

Mr Zoat said:
3rd December 2282
12:23 GMT

A ghoul in suit topped off with a frock coat is sitting at a table reading a report as I'm lead into what appears to be a private dining room.

'a suit'
'led'

Mr Zoat said:
"Right! Ah, they-. They're similar enough to us that the differences really stand out-. Physically, I mean. But they're good people, hard workers, and… There's been an increase people being interested in… Mysticism. Magic. Because of how much they use it."

'in people'

Mr Zoat said:
A large and heavily armoured ship from Mosteel wheels out of control in space, some sort to… Lichen? Eating through its hull. Moments later its structural integrity fails completely, exposing the interior structures to space. Including the crew.

'sort of…'

Mr Zoat said:
"I thought that there were in shock. They followed me willingly enough. It wasn't until we reached the aid station that… Their bestial nature revealed itself. You won't hear many of the Gentry making mention of them today."

'they were'

Mr Zoat said:
Literal jumped-up elementals. Marvellous.

Ha!

Mr Zoat said:
In the comics, Swamp Thing escaped being burned to death by the Sunderland Corporation while Lex Luthor's jammer preventing him from using floramancy by switching to a different 'frequency' and matching himself to alien plant life. If he's done that here, then we're going to need a serious magician to track him. Or we could just leave him; while it might be useful to have him around, it's not strictly essential.

'prevented'

Mr Zoat said:
Nothing, but... But there are ways to dodge my scans, the dominators aren't stupid or too speciesist to adopt useful alien technology, and they're very advanced on their own.

I suppose it makes sense with their scientific principles, but I thought they were extremely anti-alien. Or was it a different culture that did a whole decontamination ritual after even talking to an alien?

Mr Zoat said:
"I don't know. I'm not an engineer. It's not something we could do today, anyway." He frowns. "Is that something the Americans build?"

"Yes. They had oil rigs in the Gulf of Mexico and off the west coast."

'built'?

Mr Zoat said:
Brain activity can't read because kryptonian body tissues laughs at conduction, emotional networks can't read because someone's been practicing their Torquasm, magic...

I wave the rune stone at her and… Not a lot. Which suggest that this is basically normal if deep sleep.

'laugh'
'suggests'

Mr Zoat said:
"I think that I shall take that as a great compliment." I can feel the corgiswarm pressing noses into my legs, but it's such a dog thing to so that it's reassuring as well. "I'm an admirer of my great grandmother."

'to do'

Mr Zoat said:
She's a good deal more hands on that her great grandmother, but… She has to be. It's not a titular head of state usurping power from an elected body, it's the lynchpin using the power that's hers usually in theory to keep the nation functioning.

She glances at Personal Secretary, who gives a small shrug.

'than her'
'at the'

Mr Zoat said:
Their treachery… Or perhaps incompetence, it amounted to the same thing and at this point we'll likely never know for sure, it cost of the lives of King William and Prince Alfred. The Queen was very close to both of them. Now it seems, that whole… Period, that whole part of the world… Mentioning it…"

'cost us'?

Mr Zoat said:
My new body is painted in dull brown and transforms into heavy goods transport vehicle: not bright enough or unusual enough to draw the eye, but visible enough not to surprise someone in the dark. I'm supposed to be able to fit in with a crowd, and it seems to have worked so far.

'into a'

Mr Zoat said:
If you're referring to Larry Niven's Ringworld, no, as I know nothing about the setting.

You know something, given that you know the kzinti lesson. But I'm guessing you osmosed that.
I think it'd be up your alley given all the interspecies sex on the Ring, haha. I'm still surprised my grandparents let me read it. I should really get the last book sometime; it's a shame I've never read it given how good I remember the series being. Hopefully that wasn't just youthful gormlessness.

Mr Zoat said:
Slipstream stops a moment after her team mates does, left arm sliding from Nova Storm's back to her right arm as she turns to face her. "Hah! No. We own this place."

'mate'?

Mr Zoat said:
The priest touches the stole with two hands, which the other two make a series of arcane gestures. A few moments pass, then:

'while'

Mr Zoat said:
And… Asking for political asylum on Earth wouldn't help, because the Thanagarian government would retaliate against Havania. Probably not doing anything crazy, but I imagine that they find themselves quartering an unusually large number of soldiers, or Vulcan would get relocated, or something along those lines.

'they might find'?

Mr Zoat said:
Little Slipstream is.. rubbing herself against me while Big Slipstream's right hand has drifted to her upper chassis. Which is armoured metal with no increased sensitivity at all relative to her other armour panels. Ghost sensation. Feedback from her avatar. I don't think she'd quite as awake as I thought she was. It's actually… Possible that only one of her is fully awake.

'she's'

Mr Zoat said:
"Go back to sleep." I half-slide half-twist out from under her, my face passing by hers and kissing her lips as she moues disappointedly. "I'll be back shortly."

"Mmm, she's can come too."

'she'? Might be sleepiness.

Mr Zoat said:
And there it is. A giant starfish, one eye… One the far side, from our current angle of approach. Instead, we get a nice view of its vestigial mouth and…

'On'?

Mr Zoat said:
"Is that thing turning around?"

Either that, or there's a surprisingly prescient black hole around and I didn't detect a change in local gravity fields.

I don't understand the black hole comment.

Mr Zoat said:
Does the fact its moving mean that it's spotted us?

Ah…

'it's'

Mr Zoat said:
Her ship wallows around, it's manoeuvring systems nothing like as good as its primary drive. Then she's accelerating away, FTL drive engaging a moment

//

a moment-. What?

Bleez's ship flies towards the thing from the point in space where her F.T.L. burst ended, but-.

She wasn't aiming that way; her FTL system can only make her move in the direction of travel. And she's getting dangerous close to-

'its'
'dangerously'

Mr Zoat said:
-both me and Bleez's ship. X-ionised blades swing out to counter them, slicing just under the blade heads and separating them from their tendrils. Follow up swings start chopping the arm into thin slices-.

The walls of the dissection chamber pull… Away, twisting and shimmering and then reappearing, whole and intact, arms reaching out once more! Slice again-.

'the arms into'?

Mr Zoat said:
"And because this is a private enterprise, you get paid." I press another button and show a price list, finally getting Heatseeker's attention. "Here's a list of bounties we're already been offered. The total bounties accrued on a mission will be split evenly between all participants."

'we've'
or
'being'

Mr Zoat said:
Flywheels goes quiet for a moment, then closer their eyes. Gradually, both hands come up with their thumbs raised.

'closes'

Mr Zoat said:
He sneers at the idea. "Skew that. I'm not going to be lecture to by a squishy."

'lectured'

Mr Zoat said:
Bleez shakes her head. "I don't get it. I could get some kind of living ship getting another living ship pregnant, okay? And guess one kind of magic plant could get another magic plant pregnant, so… Maybe we could use your guy to distract Hyathis or something?"

'I guess'

Mr Zoat said:
"Grandfather was dissected while fully conscious, his brain and other organs removed and processed for data. We were surprised that he was still alive."

"… Dissected?"

'vivisected'?
'vivisected?'?

Mr Zoat said:
"Wait, me?! No no. Thanagarians don't mate by dissection! You're the one with the magic powers!"

'vivisection!'?

Mr Zoat said:
Okay. I… Don't think that it's entirely real. The vines seem fairly conventional, but when I try to see what's under the vines I instead get impressions. A coral growth. A programmable computronium plate. And oak with an infinitely long trunk but still possessing a canopy and roots. Crystals that glimmer with burning light. I assume that's Great Mother, held partially in the Dream and partly in conventional reality.

'An oak'?

Mr Zoat said:
"No, but there's an open connection to the Dream. I want to change what it's dreaming about, and the themes of rot and growing from corpses."

'to the themes'?

Mr Zoat said:
Bleez hesitates. "You wanted the sword."

"Not you. Thank you." I take the sword from here extremely carefully and then move it so that my right gauntlet is firmly holding the grip. "The ball closest to me."

'her'

Mr Zoat said:
There's a slight delay, then he's behind me. "I have opened the mound but all that it inside is alien machinery."

'is inside'

Mr Zoat said:
"Both, I think." She huffs air out through her nose. "My life would be easier if I just ignored, but… That was basically how the War started." She frowns. "Am I wrong?"

'ignored it,'?

Mr Zoat said:
"The last transformer who needs an introduction to human civilisation is Nova Storm. She was one of Slipstreams team mates during the War. She seems nice enough."

'Slipstream's'

Mr Zoat said:
Slipstream winces. "They have one head. One set of arms and one set of legs. And Shockwave did something to their t-cog-." She frowns. "Both of their t-cogs..? To integrate the two parts… It would be difficult even if they both agreed to it."

'T-cog-.'
'T-cogs..?'
For consistency with other chapters.

Mr Zoat said:
"That depends on a lot of things. You will undergo a telepathic trawl before you go anywhere. Given that, being helpful now increase the chance of a favourable outcome for you."

'increases'

Mr Zoat said:
"I…" He exhales sharply. "Yeah. I mean, I have to. I tried-. Bring it up before, but I don't think she understood what I was saying. I-. I'll just have to be really clear. Direct."

'Bringing'

Mr Zoat said:
"I see. But within a controlled framework, where he was provided with a prepared surface and other tools, it might be that he could be maximally productive in such a fashion. Perhaps I could volunteer for a test?"

I love these guys. Really optimistic.

Mr Zoat said:
Two construct snakes reach down from me, biting the two… Fungal objects, and pumping dream venom into their bodies to take control of the interface. That appears to make them 'wake up' a little, and the first thing they both do it take stock of their new forms. Fungus-infected coral by the looks of things, though it's possible that's what Great Mother looks like inside. I have the snakes bite down harder and pull them towards Biotechnologist and myself.

'do is'

Mr Zoat said:
"He got a lot of Nebulon implants, I got a avatar module."

'an'

Mr Zoat said:
"Eventually, yes. Now that the though-twist aliens are gone and my mind is my own, I see no need to hurry."

'thought-twist'

Mr Zoat said:
"Shockwave is a genius inventor, but even his designs take time to perfect." He focuses on Arcee and Jack. "I cannot in good conscience advise that you adopt these modifications at this time. And-" He turns to Slipstream and I. "-I want both of you come here every Earth day for the foreseeable future so that I can try and keep track of how it's changing you."

'to come'

Mr Zoat said:
Uncomfortable? Which is odd, because while a human might find walking in on a couple snuggled up together there isn't an equivalent thing with transformers. Heck, combiner teams will plug themselves into each other in public and then fight people.

'together awkward'?

Mr Zoat said:
"Most species that I've seen records on don't do it like that. There might be some mythology relating to a creator deity, but none that I've seen have as direct a relationship with theirs that transformers have with Primus. Most species who claim to have been created by a god can't provide the design schematics.

'as transformers'

Mr Zoat said:
"Despite coming from the body of Unicron, we started out as simple chemical reactions which became living slime after being hit by lightning."

She frowns. "How does that make a human?"

"A few million years of iteration.

'billion'?

Mr Zoat said:
"Use this as a guide to further study. There's plenty of information out there. Now, reproductive desires themselves are too abstract a thing for iteration to generate. Rather, we develop positive feelings about objective things relating to it. Socialising with people who have the characteristics which evolution tells us leads to good relationships and healthy children. Having sex with them, raising the resulting children, it all gives us the same sort of positive feeling that teamwork does transformers, in addition to the concentrations of nerves which -in the case of sex- makes the simple mechanical act pleasurable. The fact that Jack can't reproduce with you doesn't signify because the instincts which has led his brain to regard you as a good mate developed around other humans and not giant robots."

'lead to good'
'have led'

Mr Zoat said:
Slipstream nods. "Successful teamwork completing a project, getting to a safe location and being able to put your weapons away and refuelling when you were getting low. None of that's quite right, but it's the best I can explain it."

'teamwork,'?

Mr Zoat said:
My right arm seizes up and I'm forced to turn the saucer by pulling on the controls with telekinesis. It turns nose-up, inertia controls and thrusters allowing me to change vector far faster than the banshees which infest the canyons of Colorado. Traverse the cannon again, fire and-. And miss, because the flock isn't moving in the way I expect them too.

'to.'

Mr Zoat said:
I get a telekinetic grip on its throat just fast enough to prevent it giving me a brain aneurism, then standand side-step to avoid its flailing claw!

'aneurysm'

Mr Zoat said:
And there goes my chair, falling to the deck at its stem is severed! The only reason why I can't hear the air roaring through the hull puncture is because the banshee's body is blocking it. If I had time I could remove control its motor neurons or force it to fall asleep but I've got a canyon coming up-.

'as its'
'control of'

Mr Zoat said:
The inertia shield flares and fails immediately, and that takes care of what little downwards momentum I have left. Lateral momentum is partially absorbed, resulting it the saucer skipping like a thrown stone across the canyon floor. I'm thrown into the control panel at the second impact, not the first as I'd been braced for, and… Ah, I'm a little bruised but far less injured than I have any right to be thanks to West-Tek's finest biotechnology. Third hit-

'in the saucer'

Mr Zoat said:
**Okay. There's an old semi-collapsed tunnel. I'm in some sort of maintenance tunnel near that, and the ants are poised to swam in.**

'swarm'

Mr Zoat said:
**Yeah. After I… Had some sense talked into be by this… Really hot guy, I ended up meeting this ant researcher who was trying to make ants less dangerous by making them smaller-**

'into me'

Mr Zoat said:
I reach into my robes, trigger my stealth boy and dash over to a nearby overhang.

'Stealth Boy'?

Mr Zoat said:
The second casualty is that ant, as one of the swooping banshees registers it as a threat. The banshee slams into the side of its thorax with its mouth open, bowling it over and biting through the chitin. The ant manages to get a spray off and envelopes them both in green-white clouds, and I'm assuming that the signal for the rest of the ants as-

'that's the signal'

Mr Zoat said:
Stones rain down from above me, and I look up to see a banshee throwing itself at a stone ledge being used as a firing platform. The ant is focusing on firing into the melee below, giving the banshee the perfect angle on it neck. One bite and the head is sent flying, still spraying-.

'its neck'

Mr Zoat said:
And the banshees are still attacking me, and can probably still use their echo location even through this… If they're not being too badly burned to concentrate on it.

'echolocation'?

Mr Zoat said:
"I was wandering if it was possible to fully become a transformer. Human life expectancy being what it is."

'wondering'

Mr Zoat said:
I find myself smiling without specifically meaning to. "Great! Great. I assumed it was-. I mean, there's not much we can do for a Empire… That powerful and… Advanced. And I don't think we're on a major shipping route."

'an Empire…'

Mr Zoat said:
The device I recovered floats in pieces around me. Cleansing myself of ant pheromone had to take priority, and since I'm not a specialist in molecular transmutation that wasn't exactly quick. I'm not a specialist in animal control either, which is why I have to. And once I did that I had to clear the area around me, because the pheromone triggers combat behaviour generally as well as marking a target specifically.

'why I had to.'?

Mr Zoat said:
Lanius himself isn't an issue. He's supposed to be unusually strong, but he isn't F.E.V.-strong. He mighthave got the brain treatment from the Hubbologists that would prevent me probing his mind… Though that's not a sure thing. Sallow would be willing to authorise it for key people and Hubbologists only restrict access to it for financial reasons, but it does actually require complicated machinery that doesn't just get left lying around.

'Hubologists'?
'Hubologists'?

Mr Zoat said:
Nice to know that Lady Lasers are expanding out of Mexico. Always struck me as a bad idea that the NCR was so dependant on the Gun Runners, and they'll find it harder to use their usual anti-competitive practices outside of NCR territory. Not like we offered General Vialla an exclusive contract.

'dependent'

Mr Zoat said:
But in a situation like this… The war just doesn't involve that much direct combat close to our civilian populations. The Reach are focused on mind control, with extermination being a long term side effect. And with the only being able to destroy…

I suppose that the at-will FTL has some utility at least.

'them only'?

Mr Zoat said:
But in I go, a nod to the woman doing the interview. A nice thing about being rich and in demand is that I can say 'I'll be free in the afternoon at some point, set up here and wait for me, and I'm not doing makeup', and that's what happens. The camerawoman's ready, the sound man is ready… And some other people who's function I can't immediately divine are hanging around purposefully.

'whose'

Mr Zoat said:
"My Dad and me, we shut down a resistance cell a couple of weeks ago. I don't know if we got the networks's whole leadership. I think we did, but I guess it doesn't matter. What matters, is her."

'network's'

Mr Zoat said:
"Well. Here you go." Dr. David Evesham shrugs dejectedly. "She's won't be fully alert just yet, but she can hear you."

'She'

Mr Zoat said:
"But he'd been a monarchist is his youth and… The son of the deposed king seemed to be his sort of person. Young Juan Carlos made all the right dictatorial nationalist noises so…

'in his'

Mr Zoat said:
7th May 2024
09:24 GMT

"…paste, man." Nurse Dietmar Schwartz sits back after polishing off a extra large roast dinner, his plate just short of licked clean.

'an'

Mr Zoat said:
Just about anything I could say would involve implying that being stuck here is having a negative impact on your ability to do you job, and if I said that-."

'your'

Mr Zoat said:
And even if I… Burrowed a hole four miles down, build a soundproof training room for myself and spent a year raising my skills level to the point where if I caught them separate I could kill one, I couldn't do that to the rest of the Empire. Forget it. Put it entirely-."

'built'

Mr Zoat said:
Because I don't have a plan! The Guardians of the Globe' plan was to hide and build better weapons. But with Robot dead, there's no one to build them.

'Globe's'?

Mr Zoat said:
"Don't know. Mostly I think it might work because he doesn't seem to care what happens with the Earth. So why not do what you ask him to. And… Obviously, you just changing you mind wouldn't be believable."

'your'

Mr Zoat said:
"I suppose that explains why he's been quite so ruthless in hunting G.D.A. personnel down. So are we doing this?"

It's better if you can heal me. Just in case they can detect it."

Extraneous speech mark.

Mr Zoat said:
I wait for him to lead me inside… What I think was once a Global Defence Agency holding facility. Dimly reminds me of something Stormwatch used to use; sticking the most dangerous people on the planet in suspended animated just in case they need them.

'animation'

Mr Zoat said:
"No, it's something that the organelle's in their cells do; an energy they accumulate. I leach off it. Since they're dead they're not going to recharge, but I can build up a big charge like this."

'organelles'

Mr Zoat said:
So while most of his physical abnormalities were just alien biology, there were just a little exotic matter in his mouth that appeared to let him conjure high pressure water from nowhere. It actually didn't, but… You'd need to be a lot more intelligent than me to understand what it was actually doing.

'was just'

Mr Zoat said:
"I know! I was surprised too! If the Hangdogs has known about it, they'd have rushed Wyoming instead of bothering WARDENpoos!"

'had known'
'WARDENpoo!'?

Mr Zoat said:
"Never heard what your original name was." I try reaching our for his mind, and have to bite down as my brain aches and my stomach roils. "But I doubt it matters whether you die here or in Arizona with Mister Sallow."

'out for'

Mr Zoat said:
He's got half a head on me, and he's fast. He's on me in a heartbeat, aiming to either knock me down with his right fist or bowl me over with his mass. I crouch under the swing and push, both fist extended towards his abdomen. His -ah!- left hand comes down on my back but I hit him too, fully extending into his diaphragm-

'fists'

Mr Zoat said:
"Stron-" He pauses, apparently trying to get air into his lungs by shear force of will. "You are stronger than I expected."

'sheer'

Mr Zoat said:
And so's he. My inertia shield should have-. I reaching into my robes and find that there's some sort of residue on the join in the casing. Darn it.

'reach'

Mr Zoat said:
He -ah- hits me with his-. Elbows? Fists? But the angle is awkward and he can't get much force behind it. Not enough, anyway. I step, and he's force back, having to lean into me and move his feet to avoid being pushed over.

'forced'
Not too often that we see a straightforward fistfight in this story. It was enjoyable.

Mr Zoat said:
And then leave, because there's nothing there I actually care about.

Not that I know what that would be like

Missing full stop?

Mr Zoat said:
"He created a fascinating device. It used parallel universe version of the Illustres and another human he was frequently in contact with to scan huge segments of the multiverse. I have not been able to recreate it."

'versions'
This Controller plot is very interesting. Now I'm really wondering how Krono is going to fit into this.

Mr Zoat said:
Not… This is well. Not the one thing-. Everyone else is going to be better than me? They'll look a little like me, but they'll all-.

'This as well.'?

Edit: Annoyingly, I think some of the errors in the quotes were autocorrected when I pasted them into my Notes app (since they weren't being saved when QQ refreshed). I fixed any autocorrects I noticed but I'm sorry if this causes any inconvenience.

WereDragon · Aug 30, 2024

Mr Zoat said:
April 20th, 2013
Now

A far less sinister reason for the sightseeing and salvage operation than it might have been. Still going to blow up in their faces but such is narrative convention.
Effigy is probably going to go insane and or villainous at some point. That however is a local problem rather than a crisis. That will be caused by Krona getting back up or Jevek having a new Bright Idea.

Steelplaza · Aug 30, 2024

Ciber said:
Heck. Paul could pretty trivially organize a full evacuation of everyone on earth to a new class M planet on pretty short notice if its a thing he wanted.

Possibly that's a slight exaggeration. It wasn't too long ago we saw him bemoaning what a pain in the ass it was to rebuild a highway system, which seems like a much smaller task than evacuating billions of people.

Logistics truly is the final and most fearsome foe.

Old Knife · Aug 30, 2024

Lord Ernest said:
that's probably Viltrumite blood

*Internal Screaming begins*

THIS MAN SHOULD NOT TURN INTO A VILTRUMITE

boo600 · Aug 30, 2024

thebishop8 said:
It's a saying about fanfiction: if you give ~~Frodo~~ Harry Potter a lightsaber you have to give ~~Sauron~~ Voldemort the Death Star. It's not literal (I haven't seen any fanfic that makes it literal anyway), it just means that if you're going to give the protagonist extra power, you need to make the antagonist more challenging to keep things interesting.

Or have them adapt themselves, somehow (as the Light did in this fic), or have a different antagonist or focus.

I've seen a lot of people complain about this saying - 'if I wanted the same story, I'd just read canon!' - but as a FanFiction principle, it's a really catchy reminder against boring overpowered wanking and conflict trivialization.

Old Knife said:
*Internal Screaming begins*

THIS MAN SHOULD NOT TURN INTO A VILTRUMITE

Nooooo. Really? Him? A Problem? Effigy? Really?
Nooooooooo.

CTrees · Aug 30, 2024

Old Knife said:
*Internal Screaming begins*

THIS MAN SHOULD NOT TURN INTO A VILTRUMITE

He really shouldn't. And the extra fun part is that the Controller probably isn't stopping there. He also got samples of different types of Energon and whatever fun schizotech the Batman Beyond SI collected over the course of several decades. Unstable Viltrumite Effigy is just the STARTING point.

NightmareWarden · Aug 30, 2024

I wonder if the Green Knight Paul, who is working for the Leprechaun, is going to save everyone from this Controller's plot. Statistically, very few Pauls have a relationship with a Maltusian. And I could easily imagine the rare spin-offs evading a Controller's cursory scans of foreign Earths.

Mr Zoat · Aug 30, 2024

Duke Long said:
Figured I'd put my corrections in a spoiler since I saved up quite a lot this time.

Feel free to leave these for a while haha, I feel a bit bad posting this right after you said this.

U-h-h-h-h...

'Olympians''?
'grits'?
'yin yang'? But could be deliberate ignorance.
'politically'
'bade me'?
'Chapter-controlled'?
Replace second rather and the preceding comma with 'than-'?
'trickled'
'thought'
'Indian'?
'but not'?
'easier than'
'worshippers''
'mark-related'?

Thank you, corrected.

I think there's something wrong with this sentence.

Yes, 'which' should be 'while'.

Also, what's a serial Jonah?

Jonah was the guy in the bible who disobeyed God and ended up in the belly of a whale. A serial Jonah is someone who does that a lot.

'looks at'
'bite'?
'bite'?
'letters'
'It'll'
Pretty cool idea. Also hilarious in hindsight given that he became known as a living comic book character by the Gentry.
'of just'
Extraneous 'to'?
'peal'
This whole encounter was hilarious.
'past'
'a suit'
'led'
'in people'
'sort of…'
'they were'
'prevented'

Thank you, corrected.

I suppose it makes sense with their scientific principles, but I thought they were extremely anti-alien. Or was it a different culture that did a whole decontamination ritual after even talking to an alien?

Sure, but that's the high caste dominators. And yes, they understand that scientific principles are universal.

'built'?
'laugh'
'suggests'
'to do'
'than her'
'at the'
'cost us'?
'into a'

Thank you, corrected.

You know something, given that you know the kzinti lesson. But I'm guessing you osmosed that.

Yes.

I think it'd be up your alley given all the interspecies sex on the Ring, haha. I'm still surprised my grandparents let me read it. I should really get the last book sometime; it's a shame I've never read it given how good I remember the series being. Hopefully that wasn't just youthful gormlessness.

I mostly just read fanfiction these days.

'mate'?
'while'
'they might find'?
'she's'
'she'? Might be sleepiness.
'On'?

Thank you, corrected.

I don't understand the black hole comment.

A black hole might throw off his scans.

'it's'
'its'
'dangerously'
'the arms into'?
'we've'
or
'being'
'closes'
'lectured'
'I guess'
'vivisected'?
'vivisected?'?
'vivisection!'?
'An oak'?
'to the themes'?
'her'
'is inside'
'ignored it,'?
'Slipstream's'
'T-cog-.'
'T-cogs..?'
For consistency with other chapters.
'increases'
'Bringing'

Thank you, corrected.

I love these guys. Really optimistic.

They love you too. Now bite down.

'do is'
'an'
'thought-twist'
'to come'
'together awkward'?
'as transformers'
'billion'?
'lead to good'
'have led'

Thank you, corrected.

'teamwork,'?

No, that's correct. Successful teamwork which causes a project to be completed.

'to.'
'aneurysm'
'as its'
'control of'
'in the saucer'
'swarm'
'into me'
'Stealth Boy'?
'that's the signal'
'its neck'
'echolocation'?
'wondering'
'an Empire…'
'why I had to.'?
'Hubologists'?
'Hubologists'?
'dependent'
'them only'?
'whose'
'network's'
'She'
'in his'
'an'
'your'
'built'
'Globe's'?
'your'
Extraneous speech mark.
'animation'
'organelles'
'was just'
'had known'

Thank you, corrected.

'WARDENpoo!'?

No, that's right.

'out for'
'fists'
'sheer'
'reach'
'forced'
Missing full stop?
'versions'
'This as well.'?

Aaaaaand done.

Stsword · Aug 30, 2024

In the comics, it was shown that if the Controllers did create the Effigy Corps, they'd all be brainwashed into flesh and blood robots who wouldn't even scratch their own noses without orders.

As a general rule of thumb, however bad you folks think the Guardians are, the Controllers are much much worse 99% of the time in the comics.

So Jevik being well meaning but irresponsible here is like the best case scenario.

Duke Long · Aug 30, 2024

Mr Zoat said:
Jonah was the guy in the bible who disobeyed God and ended up in the belly of a whale. A serial Jonah is someone who does that a lot.

Right, thought it might be but I've never actually read his story. I assumed the whale was just bad luck.

Mr Zoat said:
I mostly just read fanfiction these days.

Fair enough, it has been rare for me over the last few years to read anything that isn't a free webnovel or fanfiction. The combination of low price and the convenience of reading from my phone has proven hard to beat.

Steelplaza · Aug 30, 2024

Stsword said:
In the comics, it was shown that if the Controllers did create the Effigy Corps, they'd all be brainwashed into flesh and blood robots who wouldn't even scratch their own noses without orders.

Unimaginable to think that a group calling themselves "the Controllers" would be so controlling!

Jevik may have been improved by bonding with the orange light. It at least makes him aware that other people have desires.

Mr Zoat · Aug 31, 2024

Day 383
A graveyard world

From orbit, it's obvious the damage this planet has suffered. The pattern of inland lakes in places where it would have made sense for there to have once been cities. A few of them even have ruined buildings on their shores and large roads whose presence makes no sense if all their builders had in mind was a fishing trip.

The way the remaining intelligent population is as far away from such places as they can manage. Whatever technology they once possessed has been abandoned as they regressed to the level of hunter gatherers. I can't even see farms, though their… Brown skin and horse-like faces… Remind me of something, but I can't quite call it to mind.

"There it is. You were right after all."

Even a technological savant like Panthro couldn't build a craft capable of faster-then-light travel in such a short amount of time. But as long as I give them a tow, the…

I sigh inwardly.

The 'Feliner' can function in space and in an atmosphere, fly at a respectable speed and provide basic fire support. Panthro learned a great deal from the birdfolk, and from the scan I was able to take of the Black Pyramid.

"The record in the Book of Omens was right. This location was a guess on my part."

Because Mumm-Ra either just remembers his ship's course, or he's protected his charts with magic. I had to use the birds' astrology charts to work out which stars were likely to have small rocky worlds, and then plot probable routes using Third Earth as an end point and the… Horrifying empty blob where there was once a living stellar neighbourhood before Mumm-Ra's ritual annihilated it for a…

I look at the Sword of Plun-Darr on my hip, the turquoise soul stone on its quillon block. That thing has made recharging a good deal easier, though I'm sure that it has other powers that I simply don't know anything about.

A few pounds of magic-conducting metal. Millions, billions of lives…

But it wasn't that hard to work out the Black Pyramid's most likely course. And so here we are.

Looking down on a huge white pyramid framed by four white obelisks.

The land around it is covered in a grass analogue. There are small groves of trees in a few places, and I can't see any animals that might be eating the grass to a uniform length. I can only assume that there's something about the quality of the soil which is preventing it from growing any higher.

I can't see any sign of civilisation in the area. No ruins. No roads. No pattern of plant growths that would suggest where one or the other used to be. It's been at least a dozen generations but archaeological evidence shouldn't vanish quite that quickly.

Did the owner of the pyramid plant it somewhere isolated by choice? Pilot it away from the towns or cities under their control in the hope that Mumm-Ra would leave them alone? Was it caught in the air and managed a controlled landing in an open area?

Or was Mumm-Ra really malevolent enough to glass the whole area and then leave the pyramid in one piece as a monument to his victory?

I have my suspicions, but I don't know him well enough to say with any confidence.

"Sensors aren't showing any power sources."

"Unless you've plugged the war stone in to them, they won't detect magic."

"Are you seeing anything?"

I narrow my eyes slightly, and thin yellow wisps of old yet intense fears embedded in the world as death rained from above and its people died make themselves known to me. None of them are strongly associated with the Pyramid, and I've already scanned the area for mundane things.

"No. The way seems clear."

"If you're not seeing any fear-" Cheetara. "-does that mean it's abandoned?"

On this mission she's probably more of a threat to me than anything in the Pyramid. Lion-O has been most put out by my refusal to care about his royal status, but tends to respond childishly to the implied insult. Tygra seems to mostly find it funny, so long as he's not the one being challenged. Cheetara on the other hand is sworn to support the monarch, and if it wasn't for Mumm-Ra then I'd be the biggest threat to his authority.

"I'm seeing plenty of fear. I'm just not seeing fear from anyone still alive in the area of the Pyramid. I would caution you however that it's perfectly possible to use magic to hide from me."

"How about technology?"

And there's the man I'm displacing. Not a bad young man when viewed objectively, but our respective positions more of less drive me to undermine him as much as possible.

"My scans aren't stopped by thermal or electrical insulation, nor repelled by reflective surfaces. I'm not detecting any subspace pockets or other forms of exotic disguise. I suppose that I cannot claim to know all technology that exists in the universe, but I have yet to encounter anything more advanced than this ring that was not built by the people who made this ring." I consider the White Pyramid again. "On the other hand, I can't see any damage to the White Pyramid. If we're fortunate, its database could be intact."

"Then what are we waiting for!"

The… Feliner angles towards the atmosphere and increases its thrust. I double check the course just in case Lion-O just grabbed the controls, but their vector looks good.

Do.. I.. wait for them? Naturally I'd much rather have Pumrya here as my support. Imbuing a temporary ring with the power to allow her to act as a Lantern has made her far more powerful than any of Lion-O's party, but that's also why she needs to remain on Third Earth. While the.. town is far more secure now than it was in the aftermath of the Fall of Thundera, having a Lantern on hand is extremely reassuring to the population and a fearsome threat to any potential attackers.

And an excellent way to undermine Lion-O in his absence as people come to associate the yellow sigil with authority and power.

But going into a novel situation with no backup seems unwise, and the only other backup available would be…

I look across the primitives, searching for one with greater than usual control of their fears. None really stand out.

So I'll have to make do. But I still have time for undermining their self-confidence. Without changing my posture I accelerate towards the planet, flying past the Feliner without bothering to look at it. Dropping through the atmosphere at an angle their ship can't match without any difficulty as my environmental shield protects me I start planning our approach.

The main objectives are the armoury, the central computer and the sarcophagus. Of the three, the armoury is least important. I've already seen enough of Mumm-Ra's mundane weapons to be able to recreate them, and he beat whoever used to rule here. But between the sarcophagus and the computer…

I'm working on the assumption that whoever used to rule here was something like Mumm-Ra. That assumption appears to be borne out by the presence of a Pyramid, but that might just indicate a shared culture. And even if they were like him, Mumm-Ra might well have been able to kill whoever it was in such a way that it stuck. The central computer could well give me the knowledge that I need to fully industrialise Thundera, create the wide variety of machines that technologically sophisticated society needs…

On the other hand, the cats can secure and open the database and I doubt that they'd destroy it just to keep it from me. But I could definitely see them-. Lion-O, messing up a diplomatic first contact if he was the one who went to the sarcophagus and the former ruler was still alive.

That's simple then. Hopefully I'll be able to pick up something about this civilisation's culture on the way in. And the hieroglyphics won't be full of giant penises like they were on Earth; the kittens insisted on coming along and I don't want to have to explain their expanded vocabulary to Khoah.

Darko · Aug 31, 2024

Mr Zoat said:
there was once a giving

"living"

Mr Zoat said:
Did the owner of the pyramid plant it somewhere isolated by choice? Pilot it away from the towns or cities under their control in the hope that Mumm-Ra would leave them alone? Was it caught in the air and managed a controlled landing in an open area?

Or was Mumm-Ra really malevolent enough to glass the whole area and then leave the pyramid in one piece as a monument to his victory

The last one sounds right.

thebishop8 · Aug 31, 2024

Mr Zoat said:
I've already seen enough to Mumm-Ra's mundane weapons

*enough of

I was wondering if we would see Paul's with rings other than orange involved in this episode. Will this alternate believe Jevek if he claims to have made his ring? Maybe if he doesn't notice that Jevek is attuned to avarice.

Edit: Then again, I keep forgetting that Jevek hasn't claimed to make the rings, Pull assumed that and Jevek just went with it or something. Still, will this alternate have the same reaction of obligation to Jevek if he shows up? Or maybe just the opportunity to trade with a Controller is enough for him to go along with a deal, and I'm just overthinking this.

Darko · Aug 31, 2024

Mr Zoat said:
Tigra seems to

"Tygra"

dw7thdoctor · Aug 31, 2024

Why does this Paul need data like this didn't he share data with all the other Pauls at the big Krono Paul meet-up? Also love to see this Paul again.

With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Connoisseur.

Recovering pendant.

Dedicated ragequitter

Dedicated ragequitter

Versed in the lewd.

Your first time is always over so quickly, isn't it?

Umm, ackchyually...

Dedicated ragequitter

Dedicated ragequitter

Dedicated ragequitter

Dedicated ragequitter

Dedicated ragequitter

Dedicated ragequitter

Dedicated ragequitter

Glomerulus

Bookwyrm

Custom Title

Not too sore, are you?

Welp

Chasing the ring

Versed in the lewd.

Dedicated ragequitter

Versed in the lewd.

Glomerulus

Custom Title

Dedicated ragequitter

Connoisseur.

Umm, ackchyually...

Connoisseur.

Getting sticky.

Users who are viewing this thread