Should Have Posted This Sooner
Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
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Early spring, 2279
Evening
I smile awkwardly as a huge hand grabs me around the neck.
"Mesmeralda, is this any way to greet an old friend?"
The woman glaring imperiously… Up at me is a fascinating contrast in sartorial styles. Metal armour is combined with.. pre-war dark glasses, a crown made of teeth, wood and coral with an elegant purple dress. A mesmetron on her right hip and a wooden staff with deathclaw claws and feathers tied to it in her right hand. And if the general styling wasn't a big enough giveaway, I can feel the bizarre **flash** as her thoughts go from 'surprised' to 'threatened raider' and onto 'Total conviction that everything is fine for the Gorgon Queen!' without passing through the usual intervening stages.
She smiles cruelly as she 'recognises' me.
"Krono. In my power at last." She reaches down towards her mesmetron, resting her left hand on the grip. "Explain to me why I shouldn't simply have the First tear your head from your shoulders."
"All that blood would make an awful mess of your boudoir."
She tilts her head slightly to the left.
"I suppose that it would. Set him down, minion, but keep your hands on his shoulders."
The First obeys, though given how big his hands are that effectively means that they're wrapped around my entire torso. What happened to him was a bit of a surprise, and tangentially resulted in my presence here.
The First was the head of the Troll Warrens, the only big super mutant settlement in north west America. The NCR had been aware of their existence for a while, but they weren't considered to be much of a concern because they were surrounded by other violent tribes and mostly appeared to want to keep themselves to themselves. Then… Something happened. They assaulted a raider tribe to the north of them and tossed the survivors into FEV barrels. Flush with success, they then went after their neighbours further north and to the east.
And they ran into this woman.
"This really isn't necessary, Mesmeralda. I came here of my own free will. I wanted to talk to you."
"I seem-"
A brief moment of uncertainty. I probably wouldn't have noticed if I wasn't watching for it. Or looking at her surface thoughts.
"-to remember that talking to you has seldom worked out well for me."
I'm here because… Not only should I not have asked a child to pick a new name for me, but I shouldn't have neglected to ask where they got such an unusual name from. It turns out that 'Krono' is the name of a villain from the Grognak the Barbarian comic book series, a cunning wheeler-dealer with a taste for magic. 'Mesmeralda' comes from the same series, the difference being that while Krono was all about subtlety and misdirection, she was the campiest ham ever written. A female Ming the Merciless, with a touch of Dr Doom thrown in for good measure. And unlike me where the choice of nom de guerre was entirely accidental… Whoever this woman was genuinely believes herself to be her namesake.
"But that was only when betraying you directly profited me! And I have a proposal that will profit us both!"
She hasn't met me. But the Grognak the Barbarian comic series is the Marrow Drinker tribe's holy text. And I'm dressed… More or less as Krono did. I've read as many of the comics as NCR intelligence have been able to find, but I'm more relying on her being too crazy to realise that I'm not comic-Krono once she's got the idea that I am him into her head than on my own acting ability in order to pull this off.
One reasonably well-received performance as Nana during a primary school production of Peter Pan does not a thespian make.
"Explain."
"I've made some… 'Friends', in the New California Republic, and-."
She rolls not merely her eyes but her entire head. "You mean that you have encountered gullible fools who were not sufficiently forewarned."
I smile. "They have a certain appeal. You have.. heard of the New California Republic, I take it?"
"A nation of 'civilised' people to the south."
"That's them. They want to make a deal with you."
She smiles with a cold arrogance. "And they could not find a better ambassador than you?"
"They were short on people willing to risk your magic powers."
"Have you grown a spine since our last encounter?"
I wish I knew which issue that was. As with any character written by different writers over the years, Krono's characterisation changed a lot over time. Unlike Mesmeralda whose powers and resources remain more or less stable, his vary greatly depending on how successful his recent exploits had been. Sometimes he was more or less a regular conman, feigning magic with psychology. At other times he managed to get hold of an object of power and become the title's premier magician, something which Mesmeralda canonically hated.
Obviously, my psychic abilities are far stronger than the held-together-with-wonderglue technology whatever-this-woman's-real-name-is is using.
"I've gained magic of my own since then. It's amazing what it does for your confidence…" I raise my eyebrows. "Isn't it?"
"I am more than my wand and alchemy. Were they stripped from me I would simply fight my way to supremacy without them while you would be left scrabbling in the dirt."
"There are things to be learned from the dirt."
That seems to bring her up short.
"I suppose that there are." She gestures to me with her chin. "Go on then. Repeat your master's proposal."
"Firstly, that you and they agree to a non-aggression pact. They will focus their armies on their enemies to the south, and you can go anywhere but south."
"What of the tribes between my land and that of the NCR?"
"You may complete your conquest of the Apostles, but the NCR would prefer you to leave Klamath and the Antelope Reservation as a buffer. Whatever else you do, you must leave Arroyo be."
"The Gorgon Queen 'must' do nothing!"
"Their leader is so well-respected that it would arouse the hatred of all the of people of the region against you. Also, the NCR plans to annex it after she dies."
"The Bone Dancers?"
"All yours."
"Heaven's Gate? The Washington Brotherhood?"
"If you're feeling brave."
"They aren't asking me to do anything that I wasn't inclined to do anyway. What else?"
"You will return any NCR citizens you are holding as slaves."
Shouldn't be any, given the distances between their respective territories, but New Reno has a way of getting its mouldy fingers into all sorts of pies.
"And what do I get in return?"
"Guns. Munitions. Raider scum they don't want, but whom you can probably find a use for. And.. I'll.. throw in a couple of my own acolytes."
"You have acolytes? Doesn't the wasteland have enough shysters already?"
I raise my fists slightly, then **open them**, the First's grip on my torso vanishing as I hijack his nerves.
Her mesmetron is pointing at my face immediately.
"Magic acolytes. I've come up in the world since last we spoke. Would you like a demonstration?"
A shallow nod, and I grip myself telekinetically and rise a short way into the air.
"I would be more interested in acquiring this magic for myself than I would in any number of guns."
"I'm happy to share, but would you really trust anything I would give you?"
"Perhaps not." She lowers her mesmetron. "But perhaps if I study your acolytes, I might learn it for myself."
She probably thinks it's a pre-war 'magic' artefact. But it's not as if I'm sending zetan technology up here.
"You can watch them all you like. Do we have a deal?"
This is tricky. The NCR essentially want her to act as a deniable proxy, someone who can unify the north under her reign while still being friendly-ish to NCR concerns. She's intelligent enough to realise that. She might say no. But Krono's thing in the comics was that he could persuade people who should have known better to trust him. And if she's playing her role-
"Yes. For now."
-to the hilt… Then she'll say 'yes' anyway.
"I'm so glad to hear it."
Evening
I smile awkwardly as a huge hand grabs me around the neck.
"Mesmeralda, is this any way to greet an old friend?"
The woman glaring imperiously… Up at me is a fascinating contrast in sartorial styles. Metal armour is combined with.. pre-war dark glasses, a crown made of teeth, wood and coral with an elegant purple dress. A mesmetron on her right hip and a wooden staff with deathclaw claws and feathers tied to it in her right hand. And if the general styling wasn't a big enough giveaway, I can feel the bizarre **flash** as her thoughts go from 'surprised' to 'threatened raider' and onto 'Total conviction that everything is fine for the Gorgon Queen!' without passing through the usual intervening stages.
She smiles cruelly as she 'recognises' me.
"Krono. In my power at last." She reaches down towards her mesmetron, resting her left hand on the grip. "Explain to me why I shouldn't simply have the First tear your head from your shoulders."
"All that blood would make an awful mess of your boudoir."
She tilts her head slightly to the left.
"I suppose that it would. Set him down, minion, but keep your hands on his shoulders."
The First obeys, though given how big his hands are that effectively means that they're wrapped around my entire torso. What happened to him was a bit of a surprise, and tangentially resulted in my presence here.
The First was the head of the Troll Warrens, the only big super mutant settlement in north west America. The NCR had been aware of their existence for a while, but they weren't considered to be much of a concern because they were surrounded by other violent tribes and mostly appeared to want to keep themselves to themselves. Then… Something happened. They assaulted a raider tribe to the north of them and tossed the survivors into FEV barrels. Flush with success, they then went after their neighbours further north and to the east.
And they ran into this woman.
"This really isn't necessary, Mesmeralda. I came here of my own free will. I wanted to talk to you."
"I seem-"
A brief moment of uncertainty. I probably wouldn't have noticed if I wasn't watching for it. Or looking at her surface thoughts.
"-to remember that talking to you has seldom worked out well for me."
I'm here because… Not only should I not have asked a child to pick a new name for me, but I shouldn't have neglected to ask where they got such an unusual name from. It turns out that 'Krono' is the name of a villain from the Grognak the Barbarian comic book series, a cunning wheeler-dealer with a taste for magic. 'Mesmeralda' comes from the same series, the difference being that while Krono was all about subtlety and misdirection, she was the campiest ham ever written. A female Ming the Merciless, with a touch of Dr Doom thrown in for good measure. And unlike me where the choice of nom de guerre was entirely accidental… Whoever this woman was genuinely believes herself to be her namesake.
"But that was only when betraying you directly profited me! And I have a proposal that will profit us both!"
She hasn't met me. But the Grognak the Barbarian comic series is the Marrow Drinker tribe's holy text. And I'm dressed… More or less as Krono did. I've read as many of the comics as NCR intelligence have been able to find, but I'm more relying on her being too crazy to realise that I'm not comic-Krono once she's got the idea that I am him into her head than on my own acting ability in order to pull this off.
One reasonably well-received performance as Nana during a primary school production of Peter Pan does not a thespian make.
"Explain."
"I've made some… 'Friends', in the New California Republic, and-."
She rolls not merely her eyes but her entire head. "You mean that you have encountered gullible fools who were not sufficiently forewarned."
I smile. "They have a certain appeal. You have.. heard of the New California Republic, I take it?"
"A nation of 'civilised' people to the south."
"That's them. They want to make a deal with you."
She smiles with a cold arrogance. "And they could not find a better ambassador than you?"
"They were short on people willing to risk your magic powers."
"Have you grown a spine since our last encounter?"
I wish I knew which issue that was. As with any character written by different writers over the years, Krono's characterisation changed a lot over time. Unlike Mesmeralda whose powers and resources remain more or less stable, his vary greatly depending on how successful his recent exploits had been. Sometimes he was more or less a regular conman, feigning magic with psychology. At other times he managed to get hold of an object of power and become the title's premier magician, something which Mesmeralda canonically hated.
Obviously, my psychic abilities are far stronger than the held-together-with-wonderglue technology whatever-this-woman's-real-name-is is using.
"I've gained magic of my own since then. It's amazing what it does for your confidence…" I raise my eyebrows. "Isn't it?"
"I am more than my wand and alchemy. Were they stripped from me I would simply fight my way to supremacy without them while you would be left scrabbling in the dirt."
"There are things to be learned from the dirt."
That seems to bring her up short.
"I suppose that there are." She gestures to me with her chin. "Go on then. Repeat your master's proposal."
"Firstly, that you and they agree to a non-aggression pact. They will focus their armies on their enemies to the south, and you can go anywhere but south."
"What of the tribes between my land and that of the NCR?"
"You may complete your conquest of the Apostles, but the NCR would prefer you to leave Klamath and the Antelope Reservation as a buffer. Whatever else you do, you must leave Arroyo be."
"The Gorgon Queen 'must' do nothing!"
"Their leader is so well-respected that it would arouse the hatred of all the of people of the region against you. Also, the NCR plans to annex it after she dies."
"The Bone Dancers?"
"All yours."
"Heaven's Gate? The Washington Brotherhood?"
"If you're feeling brave."
"They aren't asking me to do anything that I wasn't inclined to do anyway. What else?"
"You will return any NCR citizens you are holding as slaves."
Shouldn't be any, given the distances between their respective territories, but New Reno has a way of getting its mouldy fingers into all sorts of pies.
"And what do I get in return?"
"Guns. Munitions. Raider scum they don't want, but whom you can probably find a use for. And.. I'll.. throw in a couple of my own acolytes."
"You have acolytes? Doesn't the wasteland have enough shysters already?"
I raise my fists slightly, then **open them**, the First's grip on my torso vanishing as I hijack his nerves.
Her mesmetron is pointing at my face immediately.
"Magic acolytes. I've come up in the world since last we spoke. Would you like a demonstration?"
A shallow nod, and I grip myself telekinetically and rise a short way into the air.
"I would be more interested in acquiring this magic for myself than I would in any number of guns."
"I'm happy to share, but would you really trust anything I would give you?"
"Perhaps not." She lowers her mesmetron. "But perhaps if I study your acolytes, I might learn it for myself."
She probably thinks it's a pre-war 'magic' artefact. But it's not as if I'm sending zetan technology up here.
"You can watch them all you like. Do we have a deal?"
This is tricky. The NCR essentially want her to act as a deniable proxy, someone who can unify the north under her reign while still being friendly-ish to NCR concerns. She's intelligent enough to realise that. She might say no. But Krono's thing in the comics was that he could persuade people who should have known better to trust him. And if she's playing her role-
"Yes. For now."
-to the hilt… Then she'll say 'yes' anyway.
"I'm so glad to hear it."
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