Warlantern 40,000
Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2016
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0 086 936.M41
Or thereabouts
Probably
I wince as the ork kroozer's magazines finally detonate, visibly blasting the lower part of the hull away from the more heavily armoured prow and… Um. Top? Then I wince again as the construct orks I had onboard return to the ring and I'm forced to feel their thoughts and feelings… I suppose if there were any species able to cope well with constructhood it would be the orks. They want nothing more than combat and expect to be reincarnated as orks after their deaths. In a way, I've just arranged things so that neither Mork nor Gork need to trouble themselves with arranging matters.
At this distance the size of the thing looks almost reasonable. For goodness sake, I boarded that bloody thing and I know that it's colossal. The little models Battlefleet Gothic use really make you underestimate it. Though far from the biggest ship in the Grim Dark Present, it's still four and a half kilometres long and home to hundreds of thousands of orkoids. I mean, I've seen bigger, and I'm very glad that I didn't get a closer look at any of those monsters I saw when I appeared back in the Sol system, but there's something about hundreds of bellowing lunatics firing at you with automatic scatterguns that makes you appreciate the scale of these things.
Or when their primary armament tries to aim at the little orange blip and you realise as one flies past that the shells they're firing at you are taller than you are.
Yeah. But-
Up and to my right the last Ork escort explodes and the squadron of Manta bombers that finished it off begin their return flight to their command ship.
-now that's dealt with, I can calm down to something approaching sane levels and make first contact with the least mental major faction in the setting. I gave the matter some considerable thought after I legged it away from 'Terra' with my non-warp based FTL ring, and appealing as the idea of finding an isolated, human-inhabited world somewhere safe is… It's the forty first fucking millennium! Where am I going to find somewhere safe?! I mean reliably safe, in a universe where daemons can enter some poor bastard's mind from the warp because he didn't realise he was a psyker, or there might be a sleeping Necron tomb under the ground ready to eradicate all life above, or a Hive Fleet might be about to turn inwards towards the Milky Way Galaxy from any part of intergalactic space.
So. Yeah. I try not to look threatening as I accelerate towards what looks like an airlock in the middle of the front half of the dull green Tau ship. And I try not to worry about the ion cannons which are almost certainly tracking me and are likely to be a little more accurate than the orks' gunnery. The Mantas ahead of me return to their launch bays located on either side of the third quarter of the ship. Though less massive, narrower and flatter than the ork Kroozer it's actually a fair bit longer. Which strikes me as odd; I seem to remember Tau ships having the same sort of wing shape as their tanks. Maybe… No, they're definitely using Tau transponders, but… Maybe they're auxiliaries? Armed merchantmen? Tau-aligned aliens? Not sure. I can also see the damage its hull has taken; though their damage control is better than that of the orks I can see dozens of hull breaches as well at the remains of ork boarding torpedoes where they struck the rear quarter of the ship from below.
I see a couple of smaller Tau ships turn and… Huh, they're not small-small, but in a setting where attack craft are jumbo jet size they're practically tiny. A single main gun plus wing-mounted turret weapons… Less well armed than the Manta, so I'm going to guess that those are interceptors.
I should probably contact the ship.
…
Ring, do it.
Ave, Lanterna.
No, see, that would be fine if I was joining the Imperium, but for the Tau-.
"This is the T'olku Lar'shi Vhel-." The speaker pauses. "Vhel'ua. Identify yourself."
I'd say the voice was female, but I don't know whether 'high pitch = woman' holds true for Tau. How.. best to begin?
"You're welcome."
Another pause. "For.. what?"
"I just destroyed the cruiser that was battering you. Naturally, your first response was to thank me. I have decided to be magnanimous. You're welcome."
"Ah-?"
"Who are you?"
"I am Kor'Ui Vey'ue. And.. I.. apologise for my lack of courtesy. Our diplomats are… Not available at present."
"I quite understand. It's hard to switch from battle command to negotiation. Look, I'd like to come on board. Could those fighters you're sending my way escort me to somewhere suitable?"
"For what reason?"
"I wish to request political asylum, with a view to studying Tau philosophy and eventually becoming a citizen of the Tau Empire. As you can see… I can make myself quite useful. Also… I've been awake for thirteen days straight." I think. "I need sleep."
"I will not allow you to board this ship until you tell me who and what you are."
"Fair enough. I'm a human, and I'm currently flying through space using an alien device known as a power ring."
"You're hu-? Stand by."
"Look, I know my whole species went insane some time in the last thirty nine thousand years. I was born in M Two, I wash my hands with the whole lot of them. I still remember when we looked forward to meeting other intelligent species."
"You.. do..?" A new voice, slightly deeper.
"Yeah. Want to guess what the first alien species we met was?"
"I do not know."
"Orks. And then daemons, because those come with the warp drives. Suffice to say that between the two of them they rather put us off." Those.. fighters are getting a bit close… "Look: if you're not going to let me on board just say so. I'll go somewhere else where the people are less ungrateful."
"No." Kor'Ui Vey'ue again. "I will authorise this." On the side of the ship I see a circle of light flicker around the airlock while the lights further away go out. "Please proceed to the airlock. I will send a party to meet you."
"Thank you. I look forward to meeting you in person." Ring, transition.
The universe… Is far enough away that it doesn't actually appear to move, other than the fact that a chunk of it is now obscured by a wall of ship hull. But the airlock is sized for a single person and-. Ah! A button! And even better, it isn't made of fucking skulls!
Ring, open it up.
Compliance.
The ring picks up a series of warning radio pings, then there's a slight vibration as the outer door unlocks and swings inwards and upwards. I transition inwards again and send the signal to close the outer door. Still no skulls! Curved edges, which is a little strange, but otherwise it looks pretty much like a science fiction airlock should, damn it!
I feel the vibration as the airlock seals behind me, and hear a very quiet noise as air begins to enter the compartment. Good show. Ring, show me what's on the far side of the inner door.
Compliance.
A small team of soldiers in dull green armour move into position around the airlock. Fire-caste marines with.. what are probably pulse weapons of some kind. Fully sealed armour, I note. Well done them. Their squad leaders motions with her hand and the guns are lowered slightly. Another tau, this one more slightly built and not wearing armour, hurries down the corridor. A diplomat?
Any threats I can't see?
Yes.
Oh dear.
The inner airlock opens inwards and I walk inwards towards my hosts, a strained smile upon my face.
Or thereabouts
Probably
I wince as the ork kroozer's magazines finally detonate, visibly blasting the lower part of the hull away from the more heavily armoured prow and… Um. Top? Then I wince again as the construct orks I had onboard return to the ring and I'm forced to feel their thoughts and feelings… I suppose if there were any species able to cope well with constructhood it would be the orks. They want nothing more than combat and expect to be reincarnated as orks after their deaths. In a way, I've just arranged things so that neither Mork nor Gork need to trouble themselves with arranging matters.
At this distance the size of the thing looks almost reasonable. For goodness sake, I boarded that bloody thing and I know that it's colossal. The little models Battlefleet Gothic use really make you underestimate it. Though far from the biggest ship in the Grim Dark Present, it's still four and a half kilometres long and home to hundreds of thousands of orkoids. I mean, I've seen bigger, and I'm very glad that I didn't get a closer look at any of those monsters I saw when I appeared back in the Sol system, but there's something about hundreds of bellowing lunatics firing at you with automatic scatterguns that makes you appreciate the scale of these things.
Or when their primary armament tries to aim at the little orange blip and you realise as one flies past that the shells they're firing at you are taller than you are.
Yeah. But-
Up and to my right the last Ork escort explodes and the squadron of Manta bombers that finished it off begin their return flight to their command ship.
-now that's dealt with, I can calm down to something approaching sane levels and make first contact with the least mental major faction in the setting. I gave the matter some considerable thought after I legged it away from 'Terra' with my non-warp based FTL ring, and appealing as the idea of finding an isolated, human-inhabited world somewhere safe is… It's the forty first fucking millennium! Where am I going to find somewhere safe?! I mean reliably safe, in a universe where daemons can enter some poor bastard's mind from the warp because he didn't realise he was a psyker, or there might be a sleeping Necron tomb under the ground ready to eradicate all life above, or a Hive Fleet might be about to turn inwards towards the Milky Way Galaxy from any part of intergalactic space.
So. Yeah. I try not to look threatening as I accelerate towards what looks like an airlock in the middle of the front half of the dull green Tau ship. And I try not to worry about the ion cannons which are almost certainly tracking me and are likely to be a little more accurate than the orks' gunnery. The Mantas ahead of me return to their launch bays located on either side of the third quarter of the ship. Though less massive, narrower and flatter than the ork Kroozer it's actually a fair bit longer. Which strikes me as odd; I seem to remember Tau ships having the same sort of wing shape as their tanks. Maybe… No, they're definitely using Tau transponders, but… Maybe they're auxiliaries? Armed merchantmen? Tau-aligned aliens? Not sure. I can also see the damage its hull has taken; though their damage control is better than that of the orks I can see dozens of hull breaches as well at the remains of ork boarding torpedoes where they struck the rear quarter of the ship from below.
I see a couple of smaller Tau ships turn and… Huh, they're not small-small, but in a setting where attack craft are jumbo jet size they're practically tiny. A single main gun plus wing-mounted turret weapons… Less well armed than the Manta, so I'm going to guess that those are interceptors.
I should probably contact the ship.
…
Ring, do it.
Ave, Lanterna.
No, see, that would be fine if I was joining the Imperium, but for the Tau-.
"This is the T'olku Lar'shi Vhel-." The speaker pauses. "Vhel'ua. Identify yourself."
I'd say the voice was female, but I don't know whether 'high pitch = woman' holds true for Tau. How.. best to begin?
"You're welcome."
Another pause. "For.. what?"
"I just destroyed the cruiser that was battering you. Naturally, your first response was to thank me. I have decided to be magnanimous. You're welcome."
"Ah-?"
"Who are you?"
"I am Kor'Ui Vey'ue. And.. I.. apologise for my lack of courtesy. Our diplomats are… Not available at present."
"I quite understand. It's hard to switch from battle command to negotiation. Look, I'd like to come on board. Could those fighters you're sending my way escort me to somewhere suitable?"
"For what reason?"
"I wish to request political asylum, with a view to studying Tau philosophy and eventually becoming a citizen of the Tau Empire. As you can see… I can make myself quite useful. Also… I've been awake for thirteen days straight." I think. "I need sleep."
"I will not allow you to board this ship until you tell me who and what you are."
"Fair enough. I'm a human, and I'm currently flying through space using an alien device known as a power ring."
"You're hu-? Stand by."
"Look, I know my whole species went insane some time in the last thirty nine thousand years. I was born in M Two, I wash my hands with the whole lot of them. I still remember when we looked forward to meeting other intelligent species."
"You.. do..?" A new voice, slightly deeper.
"Yeah. Want to guess what the first alien species we met was?"
"I do not know."
"Orks. And then daemons, because those come with the warp drives. Suffice to say that between the two of them they rather put us off." Those.. fighters are getting a bit close… "Look: if you're not going to let me on board just say so. I'll go somewhere else where the people are less ungrateful."
"No." Kor'Ui Vey'ue again. "I will authorise this." On the side of the ship I see a circle of light flicker around the airlock while the lights further away go out. "Please proceed to the airlock. I will send a party to meet you."
"Thank you. I look forward to meeting you in person." Ring, transition.
The universe… Is far enough away that it doesn't actually appear to move, other than the fact that a chunk of it is now obscured by a wall of ship hull. But the airlock is sized for a single person and-. Ah! A button! And even better, it isn't made of fucking skulls!
Ring, open it up.
Compliance.
The ring picks up a series of warning radio pings, then there's a slight vibration as the outer door unlocks and swings inwards and upwards. I transition inwards again and send the signal to close the outer door. Still no skulls! Curved edges, which is a little strange, but otherwise it looks pretty much like a science fiction airlock should, damn it!
I feel the vibration as the airlock seals behind me, and hear a very quiet noise as air begins to enter the compartment. Good show. Ring, show me what's on the far side of the inner door.
Compliance.
A small team of soldiers in dull green armour move into position around the airlock. Fire-caste marines with.. what are probably pulse weapons of some kind. Fully sealed armour, I note. Well done them. Their squad leaders motions with her hand and the guns are lowered slightly. Another tau, this one more slightly built and not wearing armour, hurries down the corridor. A diplomat?
Any threats I can't see?
Yes.
Oh dear.
The inner airlock opens inwards and I walk inwards towards my hosts, a strained smile upon my face.
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